Mental Health, Fitness & Self-Love ft. Whitney Simmons | Khloé In Wonder Land Ep. 20

followed all your thoughts into the. dark. I was reaching for your love like it was. stars. This is too. sit, get comfortable. What are we. talking about today? Anything. We'll. talk about who you are, how you got. here, and really like dive in, I think, for like the mental health stuff if. you're comfortable with that. Love is my. favorite thing to talk about. We need to be training out of self-love,

not hatred. I am so tired of women. hating their bodies. It is so. devastating when I hear them speak. negatively about their physique. Let's. start speaking kinder to ourselves. I unfortunately was struggling with. mental illness for many years. you feel. so alone. And I said, maybe this is. something that I need to speak out about. cuz I'm not seeing a lot of people talk. about this. So that's how I started. becoming more of an advocate for mental.

health is by being someone who's been. through it. Right? I just got done. reading these 130 plus comments about. everything they hate about me and my. body. My brain said, "Let's just end it. all. Let's be done." And in that moment, I needed help. And I need women to. understand that there is no shame no in. asking for help. [Music].

Whitney, I'm so happy to have you on. Chloe and Wonderland. You are the. founder of Alive. And today I wanted to. talk about fitness cuz you are the queen. of fitness, but also to talk about your. mental health journey cuz I think it. could be so helpful to so many people. Yes. And if you wanted to start and sort. of explain what you do, how you got to. where you are and give people a little. backtory. I found the gym when I was in.

my early 20s and a little bit confused. on where I was going in life. I feel. like your early mid20s, you're like, what am I doing? Right. And when I found. the gym, I had just been in this funk. and my dad dragged my ass to the gym and. he said, "You got to try something. else." Cuz your dad was a workout. He's. always been a workout lover. Like up at. 5:00 a.m. I can hear him through the. vents of our house like grunting. I can. hear his music. Like my wake up call was. his workout. Okay. And so we said, "Your.

dad's probably me." Honestly, cuz you're. a 5M, huh? I am. Yeah. It's very. amazing. It's nuts. And still to this. day, my dad is 60 years old and working. out at 5:00 a.m. It's amazing. And my. wake up call was my dad. So, he's always. been into fitness. Always been into. working out. I kind of dabbled in it. here and there, but I was just in that. place where I moved home cuz I was not. doing well. I was going to transfer. schools. I was going to move back to the. Midwest. I was done. And he dragged me. to the gym and said, "Let's try.

something new. Let's do something to. focus on not only your physical, but. more importantly, your mental health.". And so that summer that I moved home is. when I was introduced and fell in love. with weight training and from there it. just kept going. I heard you say that. working out was a passion of yours but. it also sort of killed you in a way. Oh. yes. What do you mean by that? I think. fitness can be used as a tool to support. your mental, physical, emotional health.

But if it's not done correctly, I think. it can harm that. In what ways? So, you're training, you are chasing these. dreams, right? You're chasing a. physique, you are comparing yourself to. other women you see online. You want to. be anybody but yourself, right? Especially for me when I was really. struggling with my mental health over. the last couple of years. The gym became. a very traumatic place for me. Wow. I.

found out about the passing of a very. close friend when I was in the gym and. it took me almost a year before I was. able to step back into that gym. Right? So, you kind of have to focus on finding. that sweet spot when it comes to. training because fitness should be a. tool to better your physical, emotional, mental health. But I see a lot of women, including myself, I fell for the exact. same trap where it takes you right into. the opposite direction and it starts.

negatively impacting you. For me, the. gym, like I felt like I was so nuts when I. was younger. I played sports as a kid, but I think more because my parents. encouraged me to cuz I was on the. chubbier side, but I loved sports. I was. still really active. I just was on the. chubbier side. And then but I never went. to a gym. And then I would say during my. divorce, so like later 20s, I started. going to the gym and really falling in.

love with what it did for my mental and. not really realizing, oh, like I never. thought I could ever be thinner just cuz. I was big my whole life and everyone. told me, "Oh, you're big boned or. whatever they tell you to convince you. that this is the way you are." But then. I did start becoming obsessed with like, "Wow, I'm changing things or doing this. or that." Mhm. But now like I don't. weigh myself maybe like once or twice a. year but not like not to cuz I don't. care about what the skills is. I care. about how I look and but now I am sort.

of obsessed with like muscle cuts like. definition. I'm like wow I didn't know I. could ever have good arms. So like now. this is crazy. But I will say how much. it does for my mental. I feel like I'm. in such a better place when I get that. energy out of me. Yes. And it sounds to. me like now instead of training out of a. place of wanting to be smaller or. wanting to change everything about you. physically, you are training from a. place of self love. Yes. Which is so.

important. And I always think about when. you look at other women in your life who. you love, your mom, your sisters. I. think of my little sister Eclair. She is. gorgeous, charismatic, she is kind, she. is the funniest girl in the room. She is. so resilient. I never when I think about. how much I love her, I'm never thinking. about her physique. I know her body. Isn't that interesting? You're never. doing that to any woman you love. No.

And like I think about when you're, you. know, passed away, when people describe. you, they never are like, "Well, she had. a six-pack." Like no one says that. They. talk about your heart and your soul and. the way that you made them feel. Yes. So. imagine if we switched that mindset and. we reflected back on us because why are. we as women treating ourselves with so. much hatred using fitness as a tool to. get smaller rather than as a tool to.

become better physically and. emotionally. I will say that I. it could just be my algorithm, but I do. appreciate that I from when I was. younger, not even a kid in like my later. 20s, what I would hear is always the. comparisons. It was like, you know, the heroin chic, all the diet pills, you could go into. any pharmacy like a Wraid or one of. those and walk in and buy any diet. supplement. It was such the norm. Yes.

And it was the norm for me and it wasn't. weird if you were taking all these. different overounter things. I. appreciate now that especially younger. people from what I see it's not so much. about skinny think it's more about. health like the water consumption the. things that I don't even know if I drank. water when I was in my 20s like things. that nobody paid attention to. So I do. see that shift and I wonder if you see. that shift as well. I am like 50/50 on. it. I'm a little worried with what I'm.

seeing right now, especially on Tik Tok. I'm not a big Tik Tocker. Yeah, Tik Tok. on the house side is very scary to me. They call it skinny talk. I don't know. if that's scary. It's It's worrying me. for the. women who are stepping into the health. and wellness space. I think that's when. a lot of women start to realize like, okay, I need to change some habits or. live a little bit healthier because. that's my goal, right? I want women to. create sustainable, long lasting,

healthy habits that take you all through. life. And I think a lot of those habits. are built in your 20s. Yeah. And when I. get on TikTok and I see women saying, "I. reached my goal weight, but I'm still. not happy.". I'm 115 lbs. Now I need to be 100. That's scary. It's scary. And it's very. worrisome. And I think it goes against. everything that I'm trying to introduce. in the wellness space. I think what. people need to know about you is yes,

you are this fitness guru, but you also. are a huge mental health advocate. Yes. And how did you get into mental health. or advocating for mental health? I. started by being someone who was in the. trenches. I unfortunately was really. struggling with mental illness for many. years and I always say you don't know. what it's like until you really go. through it. It changes you and it.

changes you good and it changes you bad. But to me it started with grief. It. started with severe depression and that. led to suicidal ideiation. And it's scary because it happens so. quickly. And when I started going through it is. when I said maybe this is something that. I need to speak out about cuz I'm not. seeing a lot of people talk about this. So you feel so alone, right? And when.

you start sharing your story, you are. being vulnerable. You are helping other. women. Mhm. So that's how I started. becoming more of an advocate for mental. health is by being someone who's been. through it. Right. And I'm sure people. feel like they can relate to you so much. more and they can talk to you because. you're not just someone that's. advocating for mental health and haven't. been in the trenches. You're someone. that has been there and you created your. app Alive which I think the name is such.

a beautiful clever name. Thank you. Um. and what does your app have to offer? alive is exactly what I want women to. feel when they go into that gym. Whether it's weight training or Pilates, you have a live next to you as your best. friend, your mental and physical support. as you step into a gym. So, when I. created an app, I created an app that is. not overwhelming, welcoming, and makes women feel their.

best physically and mentally. I was. looking at other apps on the market and. I felt nobody was touching on both of. those topics, which is something that's. just very passionate to me. Fitness is a. tool. to better your physical, your mental, your emotional health. It is not a tool. to use out of hatred. I am so tired of. women hating their bodies. It is so.

devastating when I am in front of a. woman and I think they are the most. amazing person. I think of my sister, my. mom, and I hear them speak negatively. about their physique, things that we. don't care about, right? So, when I. started alive, that was my goal. I want. women to feel and know their worth. Mhm. I want them to feel supported in the gym.

outside of the gym. I want women to. understand it is not about your. physique. It is about your health. I. think it's so important to teach people. I have a daughter. She's seven and we. don't talk about like our bodies and. stuff like that. Like not about the. appearance of it. Yes. But I love that. she sees me work out and be healthy, but. not in an obsessive way. I just want her. to know like I'm active. And it doesn't. even have to be in the gym. we run around or we're outside. I like. that. And then I I also have like a food.

problem where I love the kids menu and. like nothing adult, which isn't great, but I like her to see the balance. Yes. And that's fine if other people eat. healthy and don't work whatever. I do. what's best for me, but I like her to. see like I'm active cuz I'm healthy and. I want to be strong, so I can always. play with you and do whatever, but I. like her to see me eat a pizza and that. kind of stuff. I never want them to see. people like even like picking your body. apart, those types of things. I get. really nervous about that stuff, but.

more so not what's in my household with. social media and those are the things I. can't control. So, I try to as much as I. can control what happens inside my. house. Do that. Yes. And it's also. teaching your daughter or our sisters. and our friends like we may be tracking. macros and we may be working out but. we're doing that to fuel our bodies. I. saw a mom show her daughter that she was. weighing out her food and instead of. saying I'm restricting myself she's. saying I'm making sure I am giving.

myself the proper fuel. And I loved that. outlook right because that is what we. need women to be seeing. Well, those. words are so powerful and especially for. a little mind. Sometimes we don't. realize the power. Like I remember. things people said to me when I was 10. that that person probably had no idea. what that sentence did to me and we. don't realize how much weight our words. carry. So we have to be careful. Yes. Saying the same thing just a different. way. Speaking of body checks, I have.

been thinking so heavily about that. because I think as you grow up and. you're growing into your body and you're. like what are these changes? what is. going on? I still remember the day I. grew hips. And I said, "Excuse me." I. sat in my grandma's basement to my dad. and I said, "I've never struggled with. my body image before and now I have. these hips and I look at society's. standards of beauty and I'm not fitting. it anymore.". And so. it's helping.

women understand that health comes in. all shapes and sizes. Yes, for sure. And. body checks. When it comes to body. checks, how many women stand in the. mirror at the end of the day? I've seen. my baby sister do it and she picks and. she pulls and she beats herself up. because she doesn't look how she thinks. society wants her to look. And so I. always encourage women, let's focus on. the good. Try speaking kindly to. yourself for 5 days straight. Don't say.

one negative thing about yourself. That's probably so hard. so hard. It is. But that's the mindset that shift that. you have to make. We need to be training. out of self-love, not hatred. So when it. comes to those body checks, stop it. And also, let's start speaking. kinder to ourselves. How did you start? Cuz I I believe well I know our brain is. a muscle, but retraining that. How did. you start. retraining your brain to do these kinds.

for yourself? Well, I would like to say. I'm definitely not perfect when I say. these things. This is hopeful, wishful. thinking. I want every woman to feel. like this, but I definitely still. struggle with, you know, I'm around some. of the biggest names in the fitness. industry, the most beautiful muscular. women. I'm in front of you right now, the most beautiful women with like the. most beautiful shoulders, right? So, it's so hard not to take that and be.

like, "Well, my shoulders don't look. like that and I don't look like this and. I don't look like this." So, it's just. doing your best every single day. Start. by challenging yourself to change your. mindset. What are things you love about. yourself rather than things you hate? How can we change the narrative to start. speaking kinder training out of. self-love rather than hatred? little. steps. For me, it was I needed to stop. the body checks. Mhm. Cuz every night.

when I stood in front of that mirror, all I could see was all the things I. hated about my body. And when I would go. to a event in the fitness industry, I'm. around the most beautiful, wellchiseled. women. How do I stop comparing myself to these. women? It starts with self-love. It. does. And I know self- loveve is so. cheesy. No, but it's it's really what. matters. And I know it is cheesy because. I think it's overused the expression,

but it is really all that matters. Yes. But even when you came in here today, you were like, "Oh, I'm so nervous." And. I'm so nervous. And I think we like when. you're in the room with all these. fitness women, I don't think you realize. they're probably looking at you and. doing the same thing. And it's sad that. we all feel the need to do that. But I'm. nervous being here. I'm nervous having. this interview. What if I don't ask the. right questions? Like I think all these. things when I'm like I know we're just. talking. If I don't ask the right. question, I can look like I know that we.

have that but still we're in our heads. and like you said, we're always. comparing whether we know it or not. Have you ever walked into someone else's. backyard and felt instantly ashamed of. your own? I'm trying to avoid that this. summer. I want my outdoor space to say, "Yes, I own a fire pit and I grill. things." Now, there is something weirdly. satisfying about building a little. outdoor setup that actually feels like. you. For me, I started realizing that I. had been sitting in a $15 folding chair. since like college. So, I went to.

Wayfair and wow, they did not mess. around. Wayfair's got everything. Patio. sets, lounge chairs, fire pits, umbrellas, hot tubs, and gazeos. I did. not even know what a gazebo was until I. saw how good they looked on Wayfair, and. now I want one. I picked out a clean, modern seating set. Super comfy, nice. neutral tones, very effortless dinner. party energy. I even grabbed a little. outdoor bar cart because I don't want to. make anyone else walk inside for a. second drink this summer. And the. shipping free, even on the big stuff, no. lift with your legs moment required.

What I love is that whether you have a. tiny patio, a full backyard, or. something in between, Wayfair makes it. easy to find pieces that work with your. space and your budget. You can go full. backyard movie night, or you can just. keep it chill with a couple chairs and a. side table. They've got options for. every vibe, every budget, and every I. saw this on Pinterest and I need it now. moment. So, if you're even thinking. about upgrading your outdoor space, even. just a little bit, this is the time. Don't wait. Make your outdoor space your. dream oasis today with Wayfair and enjoy. it all summer long. Head to wayfair.com.

right now and shop a huge outdoor. selection. That's w afir.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. So, just about every night, I tell myself, I'm just going to watch one episode, and. then suddenly it's 2:00 a.m., my pint of. ice cream is gone, and I'm whispering, "No, don't text him back." Yes, I was. Hulued. Why Hulu? Hulu gets it. Hulu. understands that reality TV is not just. a guilty pleasure. It is a full-time.

emotional commitment, a lifestyle, a. sport, honestly. And if you're someone. that keeps up, not just with the. Kardashians, but with everyone's drama, Hulu is your spiritual home. is where. the tea is piping hot, the confessions. are chaotic, and every episode ends with. someone storming out in heels that they. can't walk in. Of course, Hulu has the. royalty of reality TV, the Kardashians. If you've ever found yourself saying, "I'm just watching for the family. dynamics while fully screenshotting. Kim's outfits and googling Khloe's. workout plan," same here. But Hulu isn't.

just one family dynasty. It's a whole. neighborhood of unhinged, addictive, beautiful messes. If you're into glamour. and romance, things are heating up on. Hulu. Catch new seasons of Project. Runway and Bachelor in Paradise this. summer. And coming soon, catch the. allnew reality series, Love Thy Nater, starring the Nater Sisters. Plus, don't. miss an allnew season of Love Island UK. streaming only on Hulu. Whether you want. high stakes glam, real emotional. stories, or lots of fake crying, Hulu. has your reality lineup locked and.

loaded. Go ahead, tell people that. you're watching documentaries, and then. dive head first into season 4 of The. Kardashians. Next time you need your. reality TV, go to Hulu. Hulu gets real. This episode is brought to you by Opel, the first over-the-counter daily birth. control pill available in the US. Did. you know that about a third of women. face barriers to accessing prescription. birth control? Whether it's the struggle. of getting an appointment for a. prescription, taking time off of work or. school, a lack of insurance, and not to. mention just carrying the mental load of. it all. Women have been facing these.

barriers headon for years. But that's. starting to change. Opill is empowering. women by putting birth control in their. control. For the first time, women don't. need to ask permission. You don't need. health insurance, and you don't need any. opinions when deciding to take the daily. birth control pill. Opel is a daily. birth control pill that's FDA approved, full prescription strength, and. estrogen-free. Plus, there is no. prescription needed. You can find Opill. online and at most major retailers. Having access to something as essential. as birth control without having to.

navigate the usual obstacles is really a. powerful shift. Whether you're managing. a busy schedule, balancing multiple. responsibilities, or simply just want. more privacy and autonomy in your. healthcare decisions, Opill offers an. easier, more accessible option. Opill is. birth control in your control. And you. can use code Chloe for 25% off your. first month of Opill at opill.com. That's code chlo.com. Check out Opill to see if it's right for. you. A question I have for you that I.

often think about because you are very. much so in the limelight and. I am constantly critiqued for my. physique. I can't even imagine. how somebody of your level would feel. How do you deal with that? You know, at. first it's interesting. I what I do say. is the bigger I was, I was way more. confident. I think because like what are. you going to say about me? I know all. the things you're going to say and I. would have my days that I would feel low.

and all of that. And then I will say. when I started my fitness journey and. like becoming in shape, I felt such a. need that I had to keep this up. Like. even if it wasn't for me, I felt like, well, I can't get fat again cuz. everyone's expecting that to happen. And. it was also a different type of. attention I was now receiving. And then. once I got a little older, I I was like, well, wait, this is gross. It's like I I. hated that. That's why I was getting. more attention because I looked a.

certain way cuz it's exciting and you're. it's all this newness. So you're in. you're in it and you're like loving it. and then after a minute you sort of. remove yourself and you're like this is. all. so fake. Yes. And I think as long as you. know that and you're like I know this is. all smoke and mirrors. I know this is. all so fake and I'm not doing it for. them. I need to make sure I'm doing this. for me. I mean, it was a lot of like I. have a lot of selfch check-ins. Mhm. And. not that this is good, but sort of when. I have bad things happen to me in my.

life, I get to be really introverted and. have these major selfch check-ins and. then realize like, am I doing this for. me? Am I doing this because I'm trying. to impress somebody else or for society. or what? Yeah. And once you real like. whatever your answer is that you come to. I think when you realize okay I need to. do what's best for me and you start. doing that the rest doesn't really. matter. Yeah. Um I'm 40 now and I. honestly think the older you get I mean.

it that's the saying um with age comes. wisdom but it does and you're just like. you don't bother me the way you once. did. Yes. I definitely at first for so. many people it's really hard to endure. all that noise but it is just noise. Yes. And I've learned no matter what. I've never I'm never going to make. people happy because I was once bigger. I was thinner. and it I had the same amount of people. but from different ends. When I lost. weight I was a traitor to the bigger.

community. I'm not myself. I'm not funny. anymore. I'm not all the things that I. still am at my core. aesthetically different or a lot. I'm never going to make everyone happy, but am I happy? Okay, cool. Yeah. To. hear you say that you felt Yes. And to. hear that you felt more confident when. you had more weight on you. is crazy. It is crazy, right? And it's.

crazy because society was probably. telling you you needed to lose weight. Well, I never thought I was fat until I. got on TV and everyone told me how fat I. was. And I was like, oh, me? I didn't. know I was fat. And what's interesting. is looking back, I'm like, wait, I. actually wasn't as fat as even I. convinced myself that I was. But it was. a different time, too. People were. so thin during that time. I think about.

that all the time. I never dealt with. such bad self-confidence. and esteem until I started posting. workouts online. And every part of my. body that people did not like, they. wanted to tell me about it. And what's. interesting is those people, they're not doing anything. They're on. the couch judging you. Not that we care. to pick them apart, but it's always the. ones that are literally behind a.

computer not doing a thing or that they. I always hear like, "Oh, must be easy. when you have a trainer or it must be. easy when you have an at home gym." I'm. like, "Well, I didn't for years." Yes. That I got an at home gym four years. ago. Mhm. But what about the years it. took me to get here? Like, everyone. wants an excuse. Must be e. Okay. Well, it wasn't easy 15 years ago, but I. didn't use those excuses then. I was at. 24-hour fitness. I was doing, you know, what I needed to do to get there. So,

people will always have something to. say. And I feel like when you do put. yourself out there and especially. working out, people come for my form. I'm like, I'm not a trainer. Like, they. want to say something and tear you apart. just to be like, gotcha. Like, I never. said I was going to perfect form. I'm. doing the best I can. Whatever. Yes. And. I think the more vulnerable like because. you do something that people feel like. they can analyze. Like if you were. showing your accounting stuff, people. there's not a lot of accountants out.

there, but everyone thinks they can talk. about someone's body. They just feel. like they have the right to do so. Yes. I don't know why, but they feel like. they do. It is absolutely heartbreaking. to me. And so, how do you deal with it? It's been very difficult. I think when. you ask me about my mental health, it's. the online harassment that I receive. about my body played a huge role in the. mental illness struggles that I had. I. remember like it was yesterday and I've. shared the story before, but I had just.

gotten done reading an entire thread, over 130 comments about. every reason why I should not be in the. fitness industry. Oh my god. from she. doesn't have enough muscle. Well, then. she has too much muscle. Now she's. overweight. Now she's underweight. She. doesn't even look fit. Right? Who are these people that feel that they. can comment on another woman's body,

right? And I've heard you say before, words are so meaningful. And I got done. reading this thread and I was already. really struggling. I was in the depths. of my depression, not getting out of. bed. Um, I was just I remember my. husband, it was during, you know, CO. times, he was upstairs working and I was. just so embarrassed that I was. struggling so deeply with my mental. illness and depression. I couldn't get.

out of bed and I was so embarrassed to. have him come downstairs and see me like. that because that wasn't the woman he. married. That's not the woman he met. Right. And he's thankfully loved me. through every phase. But in those deep. dark moments, you see all these comments. about you. And in my head, it's like, well, sure, they're not wrong. Let me. take care of this. And that was the day, that was the first.

time that I really thought I could no. longer be here and it's going to be. okay. Wow. And I was driving and I had. just dropped my husband off at the. airport and I said goodbye and I was the. whole time I was driving there I was. thinking about all these comments and. all these people that you will never. please they hate you and they want to. hate you and you will never change their. mind and I'm such a people pleaser and I. said if they hate me so much let me just. take care of this I'll just leave it's.

horrible let me be done and that's how. meaningful words are especially when. somebody is strugg struggling so deeply. I was just going to say cuz when I am. having. a dark time and then if I. see something or hear something or read. something, it affects me so much more. Like if I'm in a good headsp space and I. read the same thing, I can brush it off. But if I'm already down, I will believe. this like it is the Bible and it I take.

it to my heart and I I carry it with me. the whole day. Yes. And the older I've. gotten, I've learned how to manage like. have self-control, I guess, because I've. learned, okay, I'm not in a good headsp. space today. It's just a bad day, not a. bad life, but I'm not going to read or. go on social. Cuz sometimes if I go on. and on my explore, I'm going to, you. know, it's a not a relatable. circumstance, but I might see something. on the explore page. I'm like, I know. I'm not strong enough today to do that.

And then there's days I'm like, I'ming. amazing. So I'm going to go and do. everything and if I want to read it but. I think it takes us. to know either through experience which. is horrible like you yes age whatever it. is but it has to be now it's an social. media has to be a tool that we control. and not have it control us I love that. that's definitely something I need to. work on because it did it does still. have such an impact on me and I do feel.

through therapy and through self love. and working so deeply on being happy and. comfortable in the skin I'm in and and. being confident in who I am that it does. allow these comments to just brush off a. bit more. But it has taken a lot of time. for me to get here. So I look at you and. I'm like this is so admirable because. you have so many eyes on you and for you. to be able to sit here and say I brush. this off my back. It is amazing. But. it's taken me years as well. I um met.

with this brain doctor named Dr. Aean. And what I loved, he's like, "Name your. brain." And sometimes if you're getting. out of control, whatever the name is, you know, like Sarah, shut the [ __ ] up. right now. What? It's so silly. Like. sometimes you need something to identify. or else you just feel like, okay, I'm. I'm spinning and spiraling. Yes. Because. in that moment, right after I dropped my. husband off at the airport, I just got. done reading these 130 plus comments. about everything they hate about me and.

my body. My brain said, "Let's just end. it all. Let's be done." And I'm driving. There's this huge concrete wall. And. that was the first time where I had that. thought. And I reached out to my mom and. I said, "Mom, I'm really struggling for. the first time. I think that I'm dealing. with suicidal ideiation and I've lost my. grandma to suicide, her mom. So, that. was a really hard moment for me. But, and I'm sure so scary for your mom. Yes.

And I know that my mom's also struggled. with thoughts like that before as well. And so, it's hard because I don't want. to break my mom's heart. I don't want to. go to her and say, "This is what I'm. struggling with.". But that is why I continue to advocate. for mental health because in that moment. I needed help and I need women to. understand that there's no shame no in. asking for help. No, there's not and I. feel like people. are getting a little more comfortable. with that. But still there's a lot that.

needs to be talked about more and I see. sad things on my explorer page of. there's no look to suicidal. thought people. I don't know the term. but you see like oh the day before this. is what the person was doing and then. you see the tragic event the next day. and that breaks my heart cuz you're like. well how do you know if someone's. suffering or going through that? A lot. of people don't feel comfortable talking. about it. And I see the same thing. And. the comments, they were so happy. They.

were happy golucky. You could tell. nothing was wrong. But the day before, I. saw a whole video full of hate comments. for that same person. And so that is why. our words are so powerful and why we. need to be so careful with them. Especially in this world that we live in. right now where you can leave a comment. on any platform, under any post. How can. we take a step back and just be a little. bit more careful with our words because. it is affecting people and it is heavily. affecting women's confidence and.

self-esteem. Do you think. laws different laws need to be passed. for social media? I don't know. That's a. great question cuz I like I think it was. Alexa, weren't we talking about this? It. was something with or maybe it was my. sisters I was talking about this with. but with social media they were in I. think it was like 13 and older then you. can go on Tik Tok or Instagram something. like that but then the government I.

think recently just said that they. admitted it you probably shouldn't be 16. or 17 to go on it but it was something. where they just said all of this. So I'm. like, then why are we still saying that. in order to sign up for these platforms, you can be 13? If if one is saying one. thing, but then whoever owns all these. apps are saying another thing. I find. that so irresponsible and why aren't we. more concerned about this? Agreed. I. always think about when I see a photo of. somebody online, whether it's on my.

Explorer page or or, you know, Tik Tok, anything, and I go and look at the. comments. Well, I first see this image. and I'm like, how beautiful is this. woman? I love this post. And then you. read these comments and they are just. the nastiest, vile, most hatred. comments. And I think about somebody. like your daughter who gets on social. media in a couple years or my little. sister or my mom. I really will. I'm not a mother and I. would as well twitching like it's not.

going to happen. But that's what worries. me because if I see these comments and. I'm younger, I'm in my early 20s and I. look at this beautiful photo of somebody. and then the comments are just hateful. How what how does that affect anybody. who sees that post and thought, "Wait, this woman is gorgeous inside and out. How is that affecting girls, younger. women, women in their 20s, when they see. these comments of somebody saying, "You're overweight. you look like this,

you look like this. Well, I'm going to. take that and say, "Well, then I must be. really ugly, right?" You know, it's it's. a tricky thing to navigate. I've also. have never and I I don't care who I am, like I think at any level, I've never. ever looked at someone's page and been. like, "Let me write something demonic to. them." Completely agree. And so I think. for women like you and I, it's so hard.

to relate to that and understand why. it's happening, especially when it's. happening to you. That was something I. really struggled with. I would never. leave these comments about another. woman. I don't even know if I think. them. And if I am like talking [ __ ]. about someone, it's all internal. I'm. like, "What is she wearing?" It's still. nothing super nasty. It's more like, "Girl, what is she doing?" Yes. But. that's it. I'm not like, "Look at that. fat roll." like I cuz I don't even look. like that. But there's so many people. that feel that they can leave these.

comments and it is having such a. negative toll on people that share their. life online. So where do you go from. here? Cuz also what you're doing is. helping so many people. But I don't want. it to be at the cost of you. Yes. Do you. know what I mean? Like but also and I. don't want you to feel like you can't. stop because you are helping other. people because also if you ever want to. stop that means you still helped all. these people and it's fabulous and you.

still have your live app and all those. things but have you because of this. pulled back posting like your workouts. and all of that? For a few years I. pulled back on my vulnerability online. I needed to protect my mental space. So, while I was working through my mental. illnesses, I got on medication, I was in. therapy, I decided, okay, I'm going to. take a step back and just not share as. much to protect my own mental health.

And I've definitely like here I'm so. comfortable now to share my story and. I will continue to share my story. because that's my job right now is to. help women feel comfortable in their own. skin but with remaining pulled back. I've definitely taken a step forward. again but only because I think because I. don't think being pulled back is bad. Yes, I agree. I don't I agree cuz I. definitely at one point was sharing too.

much. Right. I don't think there's. anything wrong with taking a step back. And I think if you look across my. platforms, I am still a few steps back, but definitely a few steps forward than. I once was when I was struggling. And. maybe that middle ground is perfect for. you cuz I think we all you try things. You're like, "Okay, I didn't like the. way that made me feel or whatever." I. know for me, I pull back in ways that I. can cuz my job is to be vulnerable and. all of that. But if it does me a.

disservice, then I'm not going to have a. job soon cuz I don't have myself. Yes. So, I pull back in areas that I'm just. not comfortable with. And then in. others, I lean in and give. And that's. okay. It's also like when people, oh, you've changed. Thank you. I hope so. Yes, if I'm the same person I was 20. years ago, just. I get that comment all the time. I've. been online for 9 years now sharing. every part of my world and my life and.

my family and I get that comment all the. time. She's changed. I wish she looked. like she did in 2016 when she had this. much more muscle. I wish that she acted. like this. Well, then I'd be acting like. I was 23 years old again. I'm 32 now. I. hope that I've changed and that's okay. if you don't want to continue following. along my journey, but I need to continue. doing what I feel I'm called to do. And. that is to help women. And so, you'll.

see that across my pages. I constantly. talk about, you know, when I was at my. thinnest is when I was struggling the. most with my mental illnesses. and I put. that weight back on and I call out the. people who feel that they get to comment. on my body. As I've worked through my mental. illnesses and I've worked through. training and using training as a tool. for self-love, I feel confident enough. to present that and say, "Hey, I know.

that I've gained weight. I see that you. guys are calling me out for it. Now. you're saying I'm pregnant because I'm. holding on to lower belly fat, which is. very normal as a woman. Yes. Oh, the. pregnancy card all the time is always. always. Can they be more creative? I. know you're not a mental health doctor. Absolutely not. So, this is just from. your experience. Do you have any advice. or suggestions for someone that isn't. sure if they have mental illness but. maybe has dark thoughts? M cuz I think.

some people get confused cuz I think. social media is such a dark place and. sometimes they see things and I'm not. saying it's like munchous you just start. believing things but sometimes people. are sort of fed information and they. start having these thoughts cuz they're. seeing these things. Absolutely. Do you. know what I mean? Yes. Do you have any. advice or what someone should do if. they're questioning? I don't want to. give any medical advice. Yeah. But my. first step was seeing a psychiatrist and.

getting help. And I do think a. psychiatrist or a therapist is more. common. Before it was so frowned upon, yes, to look for those doctors, see. those doctors. And now I feel like. there's help in every city. There's. support in every city where before it. was not as available as it is now. And. there are so many resources online now. Now we have a suicide prevention. hotline. Yes. So there are resources.

online that are accessible. But you know. the first step for me after seeking. professional help was talking about it. Talking about it with my husband, my. sister, my friends, my parents, opening the conversation so that they. know where I am and how they can support. me in those moments. And a lot of times. you won't know, you know, my husband. asked me, "How can I help you?" I have. no idea. But we learned through that and.

we grew through that and it takes time. But I was so happy and relieved to know. that he knew what I was struggling with. finally. Right. I think a lot of people. feel that they're when you're in that. low of a place that they're not even. worth someone standing by them. And. everyone is everyone. And especially. when you have that support system and if. it's not your family, if it's the family. you've created, allow them the. opportunity. Yes. To show up for you. That is exactly it. It's a beautiful.

thing. What do you do to protect. yourself when you feel like the internet. gets too much for you? Put my phone. down. Yeah. Take time away and be okay. with that. Do you have like set hours or. are you on your phone whenever you want. to be in touch? I'm more of, you know, how you said like it's a bad day. If. it's a bad day and my anxiety is through. the roof, what are things and steps I. know I can take that I learned through. therapy that I learned through the years. that will help me? So, number one, I.

love a walk with my dogs and my husband, being able to go outside, breathe fresh air, have my phone down, going to the gym. Yeah, I'm sure you, you know, you talked about that you felt. such a increase in your mental health. from training. Yes. Whether it's getting. steps in, a walk outside or a at home. workout move your body. Get out of that. bubble where you're just so anxious and.

not feeling good. Sometimes just. sunlight. Yes, I know. Getting outside. every morning and just sitting in the. sun for a moment changes my whole day. I. know it does. It's that small and silly. And for me, like everyone's different. I. lean on my faith a lot. And so for me, one reason why I wake up at 5 or 4:30, it's not cuz I'm like, "This is so great. to be up at this hour." But a lot is, you know, I have young kids and it's. always so noisy in my home. I love all. the noise, but I need those little bit.

of time, like an hour to myself that I. have my coffee, I have my prayers. I. like to start my day from a day of. gratitude cuz I feel like that sets the. tone. Yes. And I'm like, "No, it's going. to be a great day." And I really see. right there, the positive talk. The. positive talk, taking that moment for. yourself. It is so important. I'm not a. mom, but I constantly see moms that. don't take that time for themselves, and. they are run down into the ground. So, I. love that you wake up early to make sure.

that you're prioritizing yourself and. your mental health to show up better for. others. And all of that is through. trial. like I had to do a lot of other. things to be like okay I'm still not. feeling well. I don't I'm just not the. best that I can be. Yes. And I. experimented did other things and I'm. like this is for me it's not I say. prayers at the end of the day with my. kids but I love to start my day like. that and take that time and when I don't. give myself that like if my kids wake up. early I notice it's not a bad day but.

I'm not as chipper positive as I would. be when I have that time for myself and. the gym for sure. Like I notice when I'm. going through something, I am such a. beast in the gym and I'm kick ass and I. but like I have good energy all the. time, but I just get it out in the gym. and I leave it there, which is why I. love it. I love that. And that is why I. circle it back to why are we training? Why are we using training as a tool for. self-hatred when we can switch that.

mindset? I know. And it will change the. whole trajectory of your day and how you. see yourself. I know we don't think like. this all the time, but someone and I. don't remember who said this, but. someone was like instead of saying, "Ugh, I have to go to work today, I get. to go to work today." And obviously. there's not every day that we're like, "I get to go to work today." We have our. days. Absolutely. But switching just. those one word in a sentence. It doesn't. have to be the work thing. I get it, everyone. But it can be I get to see.

Whitney today. I have to see out today. I get to work out today. It it is such a. privilege because you when you shift. that mindset to I'm working out because. I love my body because I need to take. care of myself. It is how you are able. to stay consistent and disciplined. And. it is so much more of a positive. outlook. And it doesn't have to be. weight training. I know that there's so. many different genres of working out.

that so many people love. Pilates, yoga, walks, walks, rowing, whatever it is. It's it's a form of self-love, and it's. so important to take care of yourself. and and have that mindset that I'm doing. this to take care of myself, not because. I hate myself, right? And I love the. people that are like in the Zumba class. or the dance classes that it's just all. about fun. Yes. And yes, it's dance and. getting your cardio in, but these people. really just want to be healthy and do it.

in a fun way. And I love that. I I love. my weight training for me, but I admire. the ones that are just like having a. ball in the gym at all times. That's why. I think like the gym without music, that. is no place for me. I need to have all. my jams on. Like I love an ambiance in. the gym. You would die. I've been doing. miked up contents where like a miked up. workout where I have a mic on and I have. no music. Oh my I just can't get into. it. I just get into it with the jokes,

you know, crack the jokes kind of gets. you going. I'm like, all right. Well, and that you would have to have the. jokes cuz that's literally I would be. like, "What are we doing? I don't want. to hear me breathe." Yes. My knees cracking while I'm squatting. No, no, no. I can't. Hey friends, I'm. not one to gatekeep, so I had to tell. you about my latest obsession. It's. small, colorful, and helps me get. everything I want. So, you've probably. heard of this little thing called Venmo, but did you know that Venmo could be. used for more than just paying your. friends back? Yep, it's true. Allow me. to introduce you to the Venmo debit.

card. It's this little thing called. Venmo that you all know about, but did. you know that now it's for much more. than just paying friends? Venmo has a. debit card that connects directly to. your Venmo balance so that you can Venmo. everything. Food, drinks, rides, the. clothes on your back, groceries, gym. membership, everything and more. It's so. convenient because you can just spend. the money that's already in your Vinmo. balance. So, getting paid back for. dinner can turn into paying for coffee, yoga classes, new shoes, whatever you. want. Speaking of dinner, for the.

girlies who are trying to pick up the. bill, this is one of my favorite hacks. Settle up before you pay the bill so. your balance is ready to cover the. total. And then just swipe your Venmo. debit card. Boom, it's taken care of. But here's the main selling point for. me. The card actually Venmo you back. Similar to a credit card, but not a. credit card. Phew. When you pay your. Venmo debit card, you can earn up to 15%. cash back at some of your favorite. places. This card really stands out. Literally, it's so cute. It comes in all. different colors so you can match it to. your vibe and aesthetic. You have to.

check it out. Sign up today to Venmo. everything with the Vinmo debit card. Visit Venmo/debit. to learn more. Venmo purchase. restrictions apply. The Venmo Mastercard. is issued by the Bank Corp Bank pursuant. to license by Mastercard International. Incorporated. card may be used. everywhere Mastercard is accepted. Summer is here and we are not. gatekeeping our glowup secrets. Okay, this is a season to feel good, look. good, and give your body the love it. deserves. And Symbiotica has become a. key part of my self-care routine. I've.

been loving their liosal glutathione and. liquid colostrum. This duo is next level. for skin, energy, and gut health. Guys, glutathione is packed with antioxidants. to support detox and brighten your. complexion. It's my secret to detox and. that bright glowy look. I personally. take it in the morning on an empty. stomach and I swear it just wakes up my. whole system. And the liquid colostrum. is my go-to for gut support. Anytime I. feel bloated, off, or a little inflamed, it helps calm everything down and gets.

me back in balance. It's clean, simple. ingredients, and I can feel the. difference. Taking Symbiotica. supplements is one of the easiest ways I. have found to stay consistent with my. health goals, even during a busy summer. Thanks to my friends at Symbiotica, I'm. sharing a special discount so you can. try my favorites. Go to. symbiotica.com/clo. to get 20% off plus free shipping. That's symbiotica/clo. to get 20% off plus free shipping today.

Again, that's Symbiotica. C Y M B I O T. I K A.com/clo. to get 20% off plus free shipping. Feel. good, look good, and give your body the. love it deserves. Check it out. Going back to the post you did where you. posted yourself from your body um from a. year ago to now. Yes. Even though it was. traumatic for you, I would say, and even.

though you got so much criticism and. people analyzing you, I love that you. have it pinned on your Instagram. Thank. you. Cuz you're sort of like, well, all. you guys just had to Well, I just want. when somebody comes to my page like, "This is me. This is what you're going. to get." Stunning both photos, by the. way. People are insane. I look at that. girl on the left and I'm so sad for her. Genuinely, because that was when I was. struggling the most. The most. And you're the only one that.

knows that though. Yes. I look at her. and I'm so sad and I look at the girl on. the right that's put on weight and she's. so strong. I came back to the gym and I. said, I'm training to become stronger. I'm sure you feel the same way. I love. weight training because it makes me feel. so empowered. I feel so badass. Like I. can't believe I was able to do that. When I'm shoulder pressing 40 lbs, I'm. like, "Oh, if I can do this, I can do. anything." Oh, yeah. No, I feel the same. way. It's so empowering. And that's why.

I love that post and that's why I have. it pinned is because this is what you're. going to get on my page. I am not here. to help you become a smaller version of. yourself. I am here to help you. If I could speak better, I would. Physically, mentally. Yeah. So, no, I. love that. Has your definition of. success changed since you started. prioritizing your mental health? Absolutely. In what ways? When you. suffer and are struggling, I'm sure. you've been there. I always think about. you and how resilient you are. Oh my.

gosh. You are one of a kind. Thank you. Your story is so inspiring and I'm so. happy that you feel vulnerable to share. your story because I think it's changed. so many lives including mine. And for. me, when I was struggling so much with. my mental health, you really take a step. back and say, "Oh, let me think about. what's the most important in my life.". Mhm. And focusing on bettering my mental. health. And like you said, you still.

have up days, down days. I don't think I. currently struggle with depression, but. that doesn't mean you don't have. depressive thoughts, right? But what's. most important to me now when I think of. success is can I show up for the women. who show up for me, who support me in. every post, every comment, every. message. Can I show up for them how I. want them to show up for me? I want them. to show up feeling confident, kind. I want them to love themselves.

And so that's what's most important for. me. I know people are afraid of getting. older, but just this conversation, it I. love getting older. Like just cuz I. think anyone can relate to not maybe. exactly what you're going through, but. for the experiences that you're going. through. Yes. being picked apart, being. insecure, not knowing what to do with. that, having depressive thoughts. Um, but then just sort of which you're going. to have ups and downs. I'm not saying.

like, oh, it's all sunshine and. rainbows. Absolutely. But the older you. get, the more you're like, you can't. hurt me anymore. You don't affect me. You'll have your days. But even like how. you have that pinned, that's sort of. like because I'm confident. A lot of it. is, yes, your self love, but the. self-love I also think comes with age. I. don't know any young 20-year-olds if. they say I love myself, like it's more. of a cockiness as opposed to a. legitimacy. I don't know. I like I just.

met you today, but I'm so proud of you. Thank you. And I don't want that to. sound like I'm being patronizing or. anything. I really am. I can feel the. same way about you. So, thank you. I. could feel the joy. I do agree with you. as you get older. The minute I turned. 30, I said, "Wait a minute. I know who I. am." So, you can say all these things. about me. Yeah, I'm excited. Amazing. Like, you can say all these things about. me, but now I know who I am. And I'm. surrounded by people who love me for who. I am, not your perception of who I am.

that you create of me online. I know who. I am. You can leave these comments about. me. They still hurt. I'm never going to. say that they don't hurt, but at least. they don't take me back to where I was. because as I get older, I am more. confident and comfortable in who I am, right? And I don't know if you are ever. going to have kids and if you do, you're. going to be the best mom. Thank you. Because any child that grows up in a. household with this type of mentality is. so so lucky. Thank you. And I don't.

think our parents meant any harm at all. It was just a different time and the. things that we focused on or didn't. focus on were just very different. And. then, you know, now we're in this social. media craze and it's hard to navigate. Like I when I came up, there was no. social media until. a few years into the show. Yes. My. little sisters had to endure more, but. they were so good at it, I think, cuz. they also had us. But I'm like, if it.

affects me and when I'm in my 20s, 30, later 20s, 30s, I don't I don't want. teenagers on these apps having to deal. with this stuff. I was very lucky to be. raised with parents that were so. incredibly encouraging of me. They never. made me feel anything other than I'm. amazing and I can do anything I set my. mind to. And so when I think about you. as a mom, I know that you're the same. way. When I think about the mom I hope. to be one day, that's those are the kind. of thoughts I want my kids to have. You.

are a are able to do anything. They. will. Yes. I love your motto. It's a. beautiful day to be alive. Yes. What. made you start believing in that again? What a great question. Cuz when I started that motto, when I. started saying that, it started on my. YouTube channel. When I started saying. that, I loved it. It's a beautiful day. to be alive. It was so representative of. who I was at that moment that that. Whitney that was showing up on YouTube,

it that was everything I was. But that. has taken a whole new meaning since. being in the trenches, since becoming a. more mentally strong person. Mhm. Now I. look at that motto and that's really. what created the Alive app was it's a. beautiful day to be alive. That's why we. call it the Alive app. So when you open. the Alive app, that's the first thing it. says to you. That motto has taken on. such a new meaning to me because when.

there's moments in my life where I was. really struggling like I just told you. about and you no longer want to be alive. and this motto has just taken on a whole. new meaning and and it is a beautiful. day to be alive to want to be alive and. have the opportunity to be alive. Yeah. So it has shifted dramatically and now. it just means so much more to me. It's. very cosmic like how that was something.

you said and recited prior and then all. of this it was just sort of meant to be. your motto and I stopped saying it in my. content for so many years because I. didn't believe it anymore. So to be able to say that and say it so. confidently and it has this whole new. meaning. It's beautiful. It is beautiful. and it means so much more to me now than. it ever did. Do you have a message that. sticks out to you that. sort of reminds you why you do all of. this? Like does somebody have you heard.

a story from someone? Is there one. person or do you get a similar comment. in a positive way of why you do this? You know what it really is? Is when I. meet the women who support me every. time, whether I'm at Target or I'm at a. fitness event where we're doing a meet. and greet and I'm meeting these women. That's what does it for me. It is women. who share their own stories with me and.

how when I started sharing my experience. with mental illness, they shared their. experiences with me. And it was the. first time in that moment that I didn't. feel so alone. Because when you are in. the trenches like that, your brain makes. you believe you're the only person. dealing with this. And it's not true, right? You are not alone. And these. women showed up for me. And they shared. their stories with me and they gave me. hope. And that's what I want to give to. women. Yeah. Well, you are. Thank you.

You are giving that to women and men. I'm sure there's men that look up to you. and you're doing so much and that's such. a beautiful thing. Thank you. Is there. This is a silly question, but do you. think that there's one platform that's. more negative than the other? People. always ask me that. That's so. interesting because I always ask my. friends that, my other content creator. friends and it is just so 50/50. It is. my most supportive community, kindest.

community, and I feel that it's the. women that know me the most cuz it's my. most vulnerable platform is YouTube. Okay. Nicest, kindest, most supportive. women. And then Tik Tok. When Tik Tok. went down for 10 hours. Yes. And people. spiraled. Yes. But I was like, just go. to Instagram. Like cuz I'm not a huge. Tik Tocker. People would post, they're. like, "These comments are so dark." Like. that would be the overall note that I. would hear from Tik Tockers that went to. Instagram. It was too dark for them.

Instagram I it's very interesting to me. cuz my demographic on Instagram is. older. Okay. And that makes me sad that. it's it tends to be older women who. criticize me more on Instagram. But it. gives me hope for our future because. then I get on TikTok where I have a. higher younger demographic and it is. full of the kindest, most supportive. women. So it gives me hope actually that. like we're working hard to change and. disrupt the industry and it might be.

working. Yeah. Because you have this. younger age group of women who are. coming in and they are showing up with. kindness where I go to Instagram and I'm. like right it's heavy over here. Very. heavy. Instagram comments are very. heavy. Very critical. I don't know much. about YouTube but that is what I hear. about. Yes. Tik Tok versus Instagram. I. want to end this on. just if you have for anyone that's. struggling whether it be if they're. struggling with mental health or if.

they're struggling with the commentary. Um is there any message that you I mean. I feel like you've given such beautiful. insightful messages but is there. anything you want them to know or hear. from you? I just love to remind women. that you are not alone. You are never. alone. You never are. There are so many. women and men who are struggling. And. it's okay to not feel okay. Mhm. And.

there is a way out of this. When you're. in those deep, dark trenches, you feel. like you will never see the light of day. again. You'll never see that light. But. I promise you. not to give up. And if you do not give. up, you will find happiness again. And. it doesn't mean everything's perfect, right? Like I told you, we still have. depressive thoughts or hard days, but. you are not alone. And it might take a. little bit of time and work, but you.

will get there again. I feel like I lost. happy, goofy, silly Whitney for so long. And you think she's back? She's back. She's cracking jokes left and right in. her content. I love that. And it just. reminds me of like old Whitney again. where I lost her and I feel like my. brain didn't even let me have access to. her anymore. But through a lot of time. and work and selflove, she's back and I missed her so much. But. I'm so happy she's here again. I'm so. happy she's here. Thank you. A this was.

so nice. Thank you for ch. No. And thank you for being so. vulnerable and sharing. I know a lot of. these conversations aren't easy, but you. know, and I'm going to remind you that. every single thing that you've done in. your life have brought you here. And it. makes such a difference for so many. people, whether you see them all or hear. them all, so many people are so. appreciative that you're this. vulnerable. Thank you so cuz I'm sure. people also look at you and see this.

gorgeous, beautiful woman, body, hair, face, all of it, and then hear how. articulate and poised and smart you are, and they're like, damn. It's like, damn, damn, damn, damn. And then even someone. like you can have intrusive thoughts. And I think that makes people feel seen. at the same time. And you give people a. lot of hope. And I love hope. Who. doesn't love hope? doesn't love help. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thanks for. having me. Thanks for coming.

Like a little warm. [Music].