Down the Rabbit Hole | Khloé In Wonder Land
We asked for people to submit things. that they want advice on or guidance on. and man, did you guys deliver? >> Okay, some are a little unhinged. >> Love unhinged. >> I'm a big fan and I've always wanted to. ask you something. >> Okay. >> I fell in love with my best friend. I. told him how I felt about him. I never. heard of him since. >> Uh-oh. >> There's nothing in these streets. It's. all about being in these sheets, I'm. telling you. >> My partner left their phone unlocked. I. This is my biggest fear. I haven't even.
read the rest of her question. >> I could never pretend I never saw it. I. have to talk about everything. >> I would like you to discuss age gap. relationships. >> Like I don't know, what's a crazy age. gap? >> 30 years. >> That's crazy. I couldn't do it. >> Okay, that was like super easy. >> Poor girl. I do I have to give myself good advice.
Today on Chloe in Wonderland, we are. doing a very new solo episode and it's. called down the rabbit hole. So. basically, we asked for people to submit. questions or stories that they have, things that they want advice on or. guidance on and man, did you guys. deliver? We have tons. I'm going to read. for the first time on camera with you. guys and I will do my best to give.
advice or to hear your unhinged amazing. story and comment. So thank you guys for. submitting. I'm really excited cuz this. is new and I'm excited to try something. new with you guys. My best friend is. dating someone I really don't like. I've tried many times to spend time with. him to get to know him because obviously. I love my friend but there's such an. unwillingness to get to know me at all. Every time I'm around he could not seem. more disinterested. I'll ask him. questions about himself and he won't ask.
me anything back or carry on the. conversation besides what I initiate. This has been happening for over a year. Well, I'm done trying but want to be. happy for my friend. What else can I do. and how do I bring it up to my friend. that this upsets me? Okay, well, first. off, I think you're being such an. amazing friend for trying and trying for. over a year, gold star. Could you. talk with your friend and explain like. do it in a way where she doesn't feel. attacked or that you're judging. I think.
it's more like listen, you love your. friend so so much and you want to be a. part of this chapter in her life, but. maybe ask for advice for her. Say like, what can I do for your boyfriend to like. me more or want to engage with me more, want to make me feel included in this. part of your life. I remember when. Kim, one of her ex-husbands, I felt like.
we didn't connect. I would try and it. would I would always get shut down or it. just didn't. it didn't work and it's really hard when. you want to make it work for the person. that you love, but you also like you. don't really care to also give that much. energy at the same time. I really do. appreciate how much energy you're. putting into this. This relationship. with my sister's didn't last long, so. I'm I lucked out in that way, but also. you don't want it to have to end in that. way. So, I think maybe go to your friend.
and just be open and honest and position. it in a way that you're. you want to be more involved and be a. better friend, so like what can you do? Sorry, you're going through that. I would like you to discuss or advise on. age gap relationships. Oh, girl, I don't know. If you're happy. and everyone's of consenting age, do. your thing. Like, if you're not hurting. anyone, everyone. like, I don't know, what's. a crazy age gap?
>> 30 years. >> Yeah, 30 years is that's crazy. I couldn't do it. I wouldn't date an. 18-year-olds. I'm 41, but I also just think that's. like. I wouldn't want to. Like, I. you know, I think some things are. strange. when they're certain age. Like, I think. like once you're like 30, it's like, okay. It's like the older you get, it. just isn't that weird. But like the. early. 20s, I mean, that's.
that's crazy to me. I'm trying to glow up hard right now. No. sugar, 10k steps, early bed, 18-step. skin care routine, the whole thing. Now, my friend say I'm boring because I won't. go out late anymore. No drinking, too. And won't split fries. Okay. How can I balance both worlds? I. love my friends, but also want to. prioritize myself, too. So, listen, if. all those things make you happy, then. that's what matters. Do I think there's. some things that like are a lot, like an.
18-step skin care routine? For me, I. could never sustain that. The expression. you're it's lonely at the top. That's. because not everyone wants to take that. journey with you. Not everyone. has. the willpower to grow and evolve. This. is dedication. This is commitment. This. is it shows the integrity of you when. you are solid to any plan. It's so much. easier to give up. So many other people. are giving up, and they like the. distraction of.
drinking and being hung over. They like. not. having this schedule, no sugar, early. bed, 18-step skin care day, but they. want someone else. to do the riffraffy stuff with them, so. they don't feel so isolated on that. island. And what's crazy is then you, the one that's trying to glow up hard. and better your life, now you're the one. that's lonely on this island. But stay. lonely and get that tan on that island. because girl, this is the way to be. And.
then. when you want to pop out and have a. great fun girls night or whatever you. want to do, it's that much more fun. And. you can still then get crazy blackout. drunk if that's fun for you, but you. just make it specialty times. Like a few. times a year or. however much, but you're not missing. anything. There's nothing in these. streets. It's all about being in these. sheets, I'm telling you. I am the most type A person ever.
Hello. Because of this, I became the. person who plans every birthday, trip, dinner, etc. I'm tired. How do you. gently retire from being the group's. unpaid event coordinator without causing. too many problems? That's a great question. So, I remember. when I was younger and I used to date, I. would never tell anyone that I could. cook or anything like that cuz I'm like, then they're going to ask me to cook. Like you only do it for special people.
I think it's the same. Like. you do the planning and the extra work. when you really want to and need to, but. if you're going on a girls trip, someone. like you guys each have to take turns. You can be like, I'll plan the dinners. Someone book the hotel rooms. Like. whatever you want to do. But I think. whatever will make you still enjoy your. trip or birthday or whatever, release. the easiest piece to release first. And. then see how that person does, but trust. me, everyone is capable. We just don't.
give people room to be capable because. we are so controlling. I love that I'm. saying we because I am you, you are me. I definitely need your advice. I'm on my. senior year in high school and I'm in. the midst of applying for colleges. It's. hard whether to decide if I want to stay. in California or go to college somewhere. else, maybe Michigan since that's where. I'm from. What things would you take in mind when. taking an important decision like this. and what might you recommend for me? Oh. my god.
I have a lot of questions. So you're. from Michigan, but where is your family? Like for me. family is everything, my support system. I lean on them all the time. I do think. about moving outside of California, but. I never could if my family. didn't come with me. So I know that's. just not going to happen unless I can. convince all of them too. So. it also it's very personal. I don't. know, does your family live in. California or back in Michigan? Does. that matter to you by being in close. proximity with them? Does it matter.
where your friends are going to college? Do you want. that sense of community already? And I. don't know, do you want I would take. those, those would be like my top into. consideration. And then sometimes people. just need a break. Like do you really. just want to start over and do something. new and different? Like are you that. type person? I like safety and comfort and I need my. family and I would not be moving to. another state, but that's just me. My question I would love advice on and.
think and hope I wouldn't be the only. one who needs this is for someone who's. struggling with self-confidence issues. I've had a tough few years and. unfortunately my way of coping with a. lot of trauma is to binge eat. I'm. slowly recovering, however, I'm finding. it hard to not always think about how I. look and feel that my friends and. everyone around me are always looking at. me or my body and judging. I also am. single and 31 and. all my friends being slim and in. relationships, engaged, or married and I.
feel like I won't find anyone unless I. lose weight. I went through a bad. breakup and feel extremely rejected. I. also went on some dates and was then. rejected. It's very hard to not think. that it's about my appearance. I just. need a bit of advice on how to deal with. this. I am as of 4 months ago exercising. and eating healthy, but I'm afraid of. how much the thought of my weight is. consuming me to the point where I'm. anxious to go out in public. Well, I'm. so.
sorry for you that you feel this burden. of. trying to emulate your friends or to. have whatever this perfect body idea is. in your head. I do relate to you though. When I was younger, I used to binge eat. I went to like therapy about it. It was. something like any emotional thing I. turned to food and just there was no. stopping me. I would eat eat eat. literally get sick, then feel disgusted.
with myself for how much I ate cuz it's. like you're eating pizza or. fries. It's horrible food. Then feel. disgusted with myself. Then be in such a shame spiral that I. start eating again because I'm in such. shame. So it was like this vicious. cycle. So I do understand that. It. really took for me. So my divorce was. really the catalyst to why I became. obsessed in a healthy way with working. out. I realized during my marriage that.
I ate so much and I would eat my. feelings and and I didn't like how that. made me feel. It then turned into, you. know, you have bad skin and all these. things that then as a ripple effect from. eating so poorly. And I was like, you. know, I'm just I'm over this. I'm over. feeling this way. I'm over never feeling. like I could be in a bathing suit. I I. compared myself to everyone. People. compared me to my sisters. I've been. there. And then something just sort of. awakens inside of you that you're like, I don't want to live like this anymore. And I've never had a body type in my.
head that I wanted to have. I just knew. I wanted. to be toned one day, or I wanted to be. able I think I always wanted to be able. to show my stomach and like feel. comfortable and be in a midriff. And. then. the first 6 months at least of working. out are torture. And I started slow. I. worked out two times a week by myself. I. got a membership alone at Equinox. because I was too embarrassed to work. out with a trainer.
And then even at the gym, I was. convinced everyone was looking at me. They're not. Everyone's doing their own. thing. And then I remember about 6. months in then I finally hired my own. trainer and I liked my trainer because. he had a gym that he only took one. client at a time, so I didn't feel so. much shame. But I would say like the. first 6 months to a year it's just. uncomfortable cuz you feel you're still. insecure, you're busting your ass in the. gym. You're not really seeing a big shift on. the scale, but you got to keep going. For me it was mental that kept me going.
I loved how I felt. I felt so. accomplished that I did something I set. out to do. But for me it was baby steps. I didn't even think about diet yet. It. was just about getting into the rhythm. of working out. All those little things. it sounds like you're doing way more. than what I was doing so soon. You're. eating healthier, exercising. I honestly feel that the more you. exercise the clearer your mind will feel. and the stronger you will feel mentally. If you can, I think going to therapy is so helpful.
I know it did wonders for me of feeling. when I went through breakups and not. feeling like myself, feeling like people. took. a part of me away. Going to a therapist and just sort of. talking out your problems. You don't. have to stay with one even if it's just. 2 months of therapy. I really think. that's. something is something and I I it's so. helpful. And you really start to get. this closure on things, and you start to. get strength that you forgot you had.
And then, the comparing yourself to. others, I really think that will go away. the stronger you feel mentally, but I. think you feel really broken down from. probably the shame of the binge eating. I know that feeling cuz I've been there. The bad breakup, some of the dates where. you feel rejected, and these people. might not think anything about you. aesthetically. They might think you're. the most beautiful person in the world, but if you don't feel that way about. yourself, you're always going to think.
this is why people are, quote, rejecting. you, end quote. So, I do think therapy and. continuing the workout. is really, really helpful. I'm praying. for you, and I hate that you feel. anxious to go out in public, but I. honestly think that you're doing so, so. great by exercising and eating well, and. I think it's just the beginning of you. feeling good. Lately, I've been really into this idea. that spring is basically your permission. slip to reset. Not in some dramatic way,
but in those tiny little daily moments. where you get to choose what feels good. for you, how you show up, how you take. care of yourself, and how you move. through your day. And one of those. moments for me, Starbucks. It's one of those rituals that always. feels familiar, but I also love that I. can switch it up depending on my mood. Everyone knows my order is an extra hot. venti chai latte, whole milk, seven. pumps chai, seven pumps classic, no.
water. Yes, it's very specific, but. that's the point. I love that Starbucks. lets you customize your drink to. actually match how you're feeling that. day. Now, you can play with the. sweetness and the chai spice however you. want. Swap your milk, even add cold foam. if that's your vibe. It's literally. designed so you can make it your own. Now that I can play around with the. sweetness, my usual go-to order might. look a little different, but still it's.
totally me. Some days I want it cozy and. comforting, and other days I want to try. something new. And I love that chai is. the perfect starting point for that. You. can keep it classic or tweak it until it. feels like your exact mood in a cup. I. love how it's such a small thing, but it. honestly turns a routine moment into. something that feels personal. That's. where I'm at this spring, choosing. little moments of self-expression,
even in something as simple as how I. customize my drink. Customize your chai. your way at Starbucks. Order now on the. app. You guys know I recently got a. puppy, Peppermint, and I'm not even. going to pretend I'm normal about it. I. fully accept that I've become one of. those dog parents, the kind who takes. way too many photos, talks to their dog. like they're a person, and somehow she. ends up having a better daily routine.
than I do. Peppermint already has. multiple beds around the house, a. rotation of toys, and honestly, I catch. myself checking on her like she's a. toddler. But if you're a dog parent, I. feel like you get it. They really do. become a part of the family. And if. anyone understands that level of. obsession, it's Ollie. They're just as. obsessed with your dog as you are. Ollie. makes fresh food for dogs that's. developed by real chefs and backed by. vet nutritionists, so you know your pup. is getting high-quality meals made with.
ingredients you can feel good about. And. what I love is that everything is. personalized to your dog. When you. start, they create a plan based on your. dog's needs and portion the meals just. for you. It even comes with a pup tainer. and a scoop, so feeding them is super. easy. But, Ollie doesn't just stop at. food. Through their app, you can. actually check in on your dog's health. with real vets. You upload a picture, and their team can check things like. your dog's weight, digestion, teeth, and.
coat. It's honestly such a great way to. keep an eye on how your pup is doing. Get ready for both you and your pup to. be obsessed. Head to. ollie.com/wonderland. Tell them all about your dog and use. code wonderland to get 60% off your. welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus, they offer an obsession guarantee. If you're not completely obsessed, you'll get your money back. That's. ollie.com/wonderland.
and enter code wonderland to get 60% off. your first box. Ollie, feed the. obsession. I truly admire the way you speak so. openly about healing, boundaries, and. rebuilding yourself after painful. chapters. Your honesty has helped so many people. feel seen and understood. Thank you. I'm. currently pregnant and navigating a very. complex emotional season. My partner and. I have been together for 18 years, and. after a 5-month separation, we're now.
working toward repair and rebuilding. trust. During that break, he entered. another relationship, which has added. layers of grief, comparison, and. triggers I didn't anticipate, especially. as that person continued reaching out. even after he ended things and shared. indirect posts on social media. I'm. doing the work, but pregnancy has. amplified everything. I find myself managing constant. triggers, hypervigilance, and the. challenge of learning. how to feel safe again while also trying.
to protect my peace and prepare for this. next chapter of motherhood. I would. truly value your perspective on. rebuilding trust after betrayal, navigating forgiveness without. minimizing your pain and staying. grounded when past wounds resurface. If. this is something you'd feel comfortable. discussing on your podcast, I would be. honored. I know many women, especially. mothers, would deeply relate to this. kind of experience. Well, one, very beautifully written. Thank you for. that.
Two, I'm sorry for everything you're. going through. I know pregnancy is one. of the most special times of any woman's. life, and so to have. these extra layers of emotion and burden. and stress, I'm really sorry you're. going through all that. I will say from. reading what you wrote, the positive is you guys were on a. break. So, it sounds like he didn't. betray you. from what I'm reading. That does not take away how it feels now.
that you guys are back together, but I. think if you can put in your head that. this was like no wrong was done on his. part, maybe. anger towards him would diminish a. little bit. It's really hard. I think. it's totally natural to be jealous, have. these thoughts of. Like, I remember when I would get back. with people. and if they would kiss me, all I would. think about is like, well, how was it.
kissing her? Like, your brain just sort. of like goes back into that place and. it's so unhealthy. And it's hard. I. think the best advice I can give you is. if you're going to get back with someone. and that's your choice, you definitely don't have to minimize. your pain. You shouldn't. But, you need. to forgive if that this is your choice. Don't forget, you both need to have very. open, raw, and honest conversations with. one another. That's the only way The.
only way to get through something is to. actually go through it. So, you have to. go through these feelings. You have to. go. right to the eye of the storm and have. these very real and raw and very. uncomfortable conversations. Hopefully without a ton of emotion. involved, meaning like screaming and all. that so you guys could hear one another. No one is hearing one another when we're. yelling and calling people names. So I. think and this might be. a conversation that happens.
many times. And that's okay. And if you need to do. this with couples therapy, I think. that's beautiful. Cuz that person would be more like your. referee, so you guys can talk. And also. if you do all this work and you still. feel not safe in your relationship, like. emotionally, if you feel that you're. constantly looking over your shoulder, maybe you have to reconsider and say say. that this person served a purpose in my. life. He gave me this beautiful baby.
We've been together for 18 years. I know. he's an amazing father and partner, but. if you don't feel safe, if this is. something you can't get over, then you do have to be honest with. yourself, but I think. every relationship that involves a child. specifically. deserves a really strong fighting. chance. I really really do. And I think and at. the end if it doesn't work out, at least. you guys would have. great respect.
for one another and know that you guys. are just going to be awesome co-parents. My friend got into a relationship and. now I barely see her. I don't think I'm. jealous, but I'm suddenly very aware of. how often she says we instead of I. How do you support your friend's. relationship without feeling quietly. replaced? The tough truths about growing. up. I don't know how old you are. I do. think the older you get, the more you. experience this with your friends. And. even for me, I think there's this. honeymoon stage in every relationship.
And probably when I was younger, I used. to be jealous of it or. like that's my friend. Like you just. have this possessiveness. and you would maybe tease your friend or. whatnot. Like, "Oh, you don't. hang out with me anymore." But then the. older you get, you're like, "No, that's. what you want for your friend.". The point of life is to yes, have your. circle of friends and keep that circle. And you do learn how to balance it when. you become older. But there is a stage in life that you.
aren't good at balancing it. And that's. what this pain, it's like growing pains. of life, comes from. But I think with. you expressing yourself in in a way that. doesn't feel attacking or jealous, I. think there's a way to say, "I would. love to have a girls' night once a week, once a month." Whatever whatever you. want. I think you saying that to your. friend is beautiful and your friend. might love to hear that. You don't even. have to bring up the boyfriend cuz it's.
more. your girlfriend needs to know how to do. the balancing a little bit more. But. then the older you get, you do have so. much more grace for people that are in. new relationships and that they are in. their honeymoon stage and that they are. hoping this will turn into their fiance. one day and then their husband and you. want to encourage that chapter in all of. our lives. And the beauty of life is. learning that balance. I'm a big fan and. I've always wanted to ask you something. As someone who has been to university, what advice would you give to a.
20-year-old student? Sometimes I feel. like I haven't accomplished much yet and. there's this pressure about succeeding. and worrying about the future. I'm not. sure if you ever experienced something. similar. I'd really love to know how you. managed the stage that stage of your. life and did you feel pressure when. making decisions about your future? If. so, how did you handle it? Oh my gosh. I think I feel those pressures now when. I'm 41. I will say I think it's unfair. how society makes 20-year-olds feel. Cuz.
now that I'm in my 40s, like you're a. baby. I got married at 24. I loved that. chapter in my life, but in hindsight, I'm like, what? A baby. Like I can't. believe I made such an adult decision. and did something so grown. It's crazy. in hindsight. And I think the same thing. in your 20s. I think your 20s are made. for figuring it out, not really knowing. what you're doing. But that's the beauty. of having a beautiful family and. hopefully a great support system that. will be there to catch you when you. fall, be there to help guide you and.
navigate you. I don't I know you don't. have to have it all figured out. Ever, but specifically in your 20s. I. really think your 20s are made for. experimenting, figuring out what makes. your heart happy. If you're one of the. lucky ones that. knows and you move on with your life and. you can get married in your 20s and you. know your career, beautiful. But there's. definitely there's no race. Like no one.
gets anything at the end of this. Like. we all are just trying to live and. create these happy. lives for ourselves, but I really do. think the 20s are your time. to try new jobs, see what you want to do. career-wise. Maybe start dating people more. seriously, and then I think your 30s, if. you can hone in on that career more, I. think that's beautiful. If you're. younger than that, then great that you. got that, but still, I think we have so. much time that we don't really realize. So many people don't have it figured.
out. I love my mom always says, keeping up a. changed how people perceived her as a. businesswoman. It changed in so many. ways for my mom. And that was in her 40s. And so and that wasn't something that in. her 20s she thought she was ever going. to do. She's lived so many different. lives and it's the beauty of Kris. Jenner. It really really is. So I think. just don't be that hard on yourself, but. I get it society and outside noise, but.
just try to have a beautiful happy life. What's meant for you will always find. you no matter what. I want to feel. confident, strong and hot. Here here. Me. too. I also want snacks at night. Me. too. And to lie on the couch. Me too. Can both exist? Is balance real or a. myth invented by people who love salads? Love you. Love you, too. Oh, no, no, no. I am the. queen of balance. I work out and work my. ass off in the gym, but I love crap.
food. Like a milkshake? Yes. Chicken fingers and french fries? Hell. yes. Pizza? Yes. Like I am so that girl. And then of course, I'll balance it with. like fruit, veggie, whatever. Like. moderation. And I really do that just. cuz I feel like I have to. And I do love. salads, but. my heart is on the children's menu and I. do that. I do that quite often.
Definitely. if I never had to leave my bed, then I. would never leave my bed. I would be. terrified if I didn't have kids cuz I. would just probably. I read this news story that someone. literally like melted into their couch. cuz like they never left. That would be. me. So. thank god for the kids. I think I'm on a. totally different tangent now, but yes. I think if for me at least my body type, when I was at the beginning of my health. journey and I had certain goals for. myself, no, I couldn't eat like the.
beast that I can eat now. But now that I'm at a place that I feel. really good about myself and I I still. work out 5 days a week, but now I eat. literally. sort of whatever I want in moderation. I. still have. the good stuff. I'm not eating every. meal is not junk, but I'll pick probably. one and I do that. So, it just depends. where you are, but I think if you are. working out, you can eat whatever you. want. If you're at the place that you.
like. And then I know like if I have a. photo shoot or something, then I'll like. I'll get it together. And I'll control myself, but. typically. I live a very balanced life. And I need to be happy. So, yeah, I'm. going to. >> You're also probably not like finishing. the blizzard. Like you eat. like your portions are. >> Yeah, I'm not a big portion girl, but I. I'm a consistently snack person. So, like I love a handful of this, a handful.
of that, but like through the whole day. Like. I I call myself a grazer cuz I would. rather graze throughout the day than sit. and have a big ass meal for lunch. I just don't like the way I feel and I. just love hand like it's like the hand. to mouth thing. I can't help myself. My. partner left their phone unlocked and a. group chat popped up. Oh my god, I think. this is my biggest fear. I haven't even. read the rest of her question. I didn't. go digging, but I saw enough to realize.
their friends do not like me. Nothing. crazy, just little comments. Do I. pretend I never saw it or is this. something you actually talk about? Okay, so. I get this. I am someone I don't go. through phones. You're just always going. to find something that you're going to. need to ask a question about. So, I. don't look. What is meant for me will. always find me. Every single thing that. I have found out about with ex-men of. mine, they have fallen into my lap. I do. not search. They just come my way. My point in.
saying that is I relate to this. So, you didn't look, which is good. But. I feel like if it's this innocent, you. can just say that. And I I will I'll say. that a group chat, if anyone saw my. group chat messages, they are dark and. we go low at times. Like we just you. talk. open. about no one is safe. No one is safe. But that's like the. beauty of a group chat. Do we mean everything we say? No. You're.
just like on a rant freely talking sh. But I will say that now this is going to. make you uncomfortable. Now you know. something that you probably wish you. didn't. If it's that innocent, just say. it to your boyfriend. Like your phone was unlocked. I saw your. group chat. I wasn't deliberately. digging or anything, but now I can't. unsee this. Let's talk about it. I could. never pretend I never saw it. I'm just. not built that way. I have to talk about. everything. You guys know how intentional I am about. what I eat, especially when it comes to.
protein. So when my friends at. goodranchers.com informed me that over. 85% of grass- fed beef in stores is. imported, I was shocked because I think. a lot of us assume we are buying local. We assume we're supporting American. farms and that the labels mean what they. imply. But that's just not the case. And that's. what made good ranchers stand out to me. This company was started by a husband.
and a wife who just wanted better food. for their own kids. After realizing how broken the American. food system is, they decided to fix it. themselves. At goodranchers, they source. all their meat from local farms and. ranches in America and then they deliver. it right to your door making it easier. than ever to get access to high quality. American meat. I personally love their. chicken and wild caught seafood. The. quality is incredible. No added.
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I'm actually a Good Ranchers subscriber. myself, and I love how easy it is to. manage my orders. When life gets busy or. I'm traveling, I can pause or move my. order in just a few clicks. It's simple, flexible, and actually built around your. schedule. To get the kind of. high-quality 100% American meat you. can't just find in the grocery store. anymore, visit goodranchers.com. today. When you start your plan, you'll.
get to choose a cut of meat that'll be. included for free with every order. And. you'll get $25 off your first order by. using my exclusive code Chloe. That's. Chloe for $25 off your first order and. free meat in every order. goodranchers.com. American meat delivered. Here's my story. I need some advice. I. fell in love with my best friend and. it's ruining my life. Oy. It all started.
like fun and games. We were touchy and. flirty, but in a very innocent way. Turns out I was feeling more than just a. friendship. Fast forward, things started. to get even more flirtatious as kisses. began. All in a friendly way. I don't. even know what that means. All in a. friendly way. Nonetheless, it was more. obvious by the day how badly I wanted it. not being friendly. What does that mean? Friendly kisses? I'm dying. We planned a. trip to another country with some of my. friends and my best friend, and by the. end of the trip, I gained all the. courage I could and told him how I felt.
about him. I never heard of him since. Shut up. You're lying. This happened last September 2025 and it. wasn't until November that he replied. back and said he didn't feel the same. way but that he still loves me and wants. things to be as they were. Now I'm torn. apart because I don't know if he loves. me or not. Because I was left dead. silent for 2 months eating my feelings. apart and he didn't even mind to check. how I was doing. What should I do? I am.
the one ghosting him now because I. really don't know if he cares about me. enough or even if I care about him now. I know you are the one to ask for help. Well, baby, he doesn't love you. He says. he loves you because he's put in this. awkward position and I'm sure he's still. like a nice guy and loves you probably. as a friend but nothing more than that. I If he did, then he would have told you. but he's told you. that he doesn't feel the same way and. that he loves you. I just think he's.
being nice and saying that. I mean, actions speak louder than words. If he loved you, he would be all for it. You guys. are clearly flirty. You've given him all the signs, all the. energy, like come and get it and he. didn't come and get it. So, I think. you've gone this far by dealing with the. grief because now you've lost someone. that you considered your best friend and. someone that you were romantically. looking forward to.
So, you've already dealt with the. hardest part which is trying to get over. that. Don't go back in. Trust what the. universe is showing you. My partner is. amazing in every way except gifts. Like. impressively bad. I don't care about. expensive stuff. I just want. thoughtfulness. How do you teach someone. how to be better at this without. sounding ungrateful? Ooh. That's a tough one. That is hard. I love. gift giving but that's one of my love. languages is giving to other people. I.
love it. It's not everyone's gift. Like. not everyone has that ability and I. really try to give someone a gift that I. either would want for myself. But normally I like to know that person. cuz not everyone let's just say if if I. want a Chanel bag, not everyone cares. about that stuff. So I don't try to just. an expensive gift doesn't really matter. The more thoughtful, that person never. forgets that. You teach people how to. treat you.
So you either teach him how to treat you. by you getting him thoughtful gifts and. hoping he'll get. the memo. And even when he opens it if. he's like, "Oh, this was so great." And. you you guys have to like talk about it. a little bit so it's registering, "Oh, okay. Like this is the direction I. should go." I think what like me and my. friends do, we tell. someone on his side. Like it could be. his best friend. Like you steer the. friend in the right Like doesn't even.
have to be you. It could be one of your. besties is talking to his bestie. You're. like, "You know what. Chloe would really like for her. birthday? This candle and a massage.". Like and it's coming straight from the. horse's mouth, but you're like. giving them a little to make it easier. for them. In my opinion, someone spending their hard-earned. money, that person. wants you to enjoy it. They're not. getting you a gift cuz they don't want. you enjoy it. I think people would like.
a little guidance. I'm jealous of my. friend. She has a new relationship, new. job, and is so pretty. I'm happy for. her, but also low-key comparing myself. and feeling behind. How do you stop. yourself from doing that when someone. close to you is really in a shining. chapter? Great question. So I used to. feel like this with my sisters. when I was really young. And then I. realized no, I'm not really jealous. I'm. more like, damn, I want that, too. Like, not in an envious way, in a motivational.
way. But I had to learn what those. feelings were. This was when I was. really young, and I had to learn oh, cuz. I would feel so guilty that I would. think I was jealous. Cuz I'm happy for. my family. Like, we all are. And so, once I really put everything into. perspective, I was like, well, no, cuz. would I want to take that from my. sister? Like, would you want to take all. those things from your best friend and. have her have nothing? No. I mean, I. wouldn't from my sisters. Like, I start.
Once I started really laying it all out. there, I was like, okay, so I'm not. jealous because I don't want me to have. it and them not to. I want us all to win. together. So, let me take these feelings. and reposition it and use it as. motivation. And like, okay, I'm going to. hustle. I'm going to get my together. I'm going to be on this glow up. I'm. going to do Whatever your. goal is or whatever you want that. someone else has, don't be jealous. Use. that as fuel. Use that as motivation.
And be so happy for that other person. Because that is truly when you all win. is when you can find such happiness and. be that cheerleader. Like, I am. rooting for everyone in my life all the. time. So, I think it's really just. repositioning the way that you see it, cuz life is all about perception. Life. is all about the angle in which you view. something in. I tragically lost my. father 10 months ago. He tragically fell off the back of a.
golf cart. I've been in the depths of. grief. I found your last podcast with. the medium so helpful and comforting, especially when she spoke about the. woman's father dying tragically. How did. you cope at such a young age? I'm 32 and. I've found it to be such a profound. emotional roller coaster. I can't fathom. going through this at such a young age. Do you still find yourself experiencing. or reliving those early days? Does it. feel so far away or like yesterday? Time. has become so warped to me.
Thank you for your vulnerability and. sharing so many personal moments with. your audience. I am so so sorry for the loss of your. father. Listen, losing anyone, specifically a parent, you never get over it. You never It's. never okay. You never. not feel. the great loss of them, but every day. you do become stronger and stronger. I. would say the first 3 years after my dad. died, I was.
horrific. I was horrible, emotional. outburst, crying all the time, mean, nothing good. It was bad bad bad. And then eventually, you do become stronger. You never. forget. Like for me, every single day I. think about my dad, but every single day. I talk to my dad. Like I talk to him. like he's still here. I love speaking to him. I love to. believe that he's watching over me and. my kids. I love to believe that all of. this is possible because he's one of my.
guardian angels guiding me through life, and I genuinely believe that. I think. you and I both like feel robbed. I see. people that have. their parents in their 90s, and I'm. like, "Oh god, like I wish I had that. I. wish. I was able to introduce my kids to my. dad." Like I have all these things that. I wish for, and that's normal. And you. should have You don't have to be angry, but you should have those You should.
have those feelings. You're allowed to. have those feelings. It's human to have. them. I promise you it gets easier. I. think the more you talk about it, the. more that you continuously keep your. father's memory alive, it's so special. And it's so beautiful. At first, if I. spoke about my dad, my voice would crack. and I would be on the verge of tears for. no like I. wouldn't even know why. And I just could. not say his name. I could not talk about. him. And then I would try to cuz I. wanted to talk about him. I didn't want. to pretend like he didn't exist. I.
didn't want to pretend that. he was on this band list. And so I would. talk about him and I would finally get. through those tears. I would get through. that feeling. And I'm able to talk about. him as if I was with him yesterday and. it's. beautiful and it gives me so much. comfort. So I know it seems. like forever. Give yourself time. Give yourself grace. There's no straight line with grieving.
You will go up, you will go down. And also in 10 years, you might have a. day that you are sobbing your eyes out. missing your dad. And that's okay. If anyone tells you. it's been 10 years, get over it. That person. There's no right or wrong with grief and. there's no straight line. All this grief. is because you had so much love. You wouldn't feel this way if you didn't. experience that. depth of love. So if you position it that way,
like. I had my dad for 19 years. I was robbed. of a father. I really was. But some. people have a father for literally a. hundred years. That's a piece of human. being. And I'm able to say I had the My 19. years were short. I had the best. dad. The best memories, the best. morals and all these things that are. instilled in me, I'm so grateful for. And so a lot of it again is perspective.
or how we position things. And I think in anything, there's light. and there's positivity. Not all the time. do we want to see it. You might be like, "Shut the up with your positive. crap." But, also go through the grief. Again, you have to order to get out of. something, you have to go through it. You have to go straight through it, feel. all the feelings. Do what you got to do. Also, want to get. to the other side. Don't want to sit in. that dark place cuz life is beautiful. And you will see your dad in almost.
everything you do if you want to look. for him. I want to be kept anonymous. My. sister slept with with an ex. situationship of mine. Okay. I've always. been extremely close to her and have. trusted her more than anyone, of course. I want to forgive her because I'm a. Christian. I feel like I have been. forgiven more than I deserve. She's apologized and I know she regrets. her actions. We've gone into normal. dramatic sister arguments before, but. this feels different. I don't feel in.
control of the emotions I'm feeling. towards her. Disgust and hate, and I. want nothing more than to get back to. how things used to be. She did this. years ago, but I'm just now finding out. about it. It has less to do with the man. and more about my sister betraying me. She's held onto this secret for so many. years. She knew nothing about this man. aside from the fact that I had been. seeing him. I normally have answers. Navigating this has me so lost. Well, that's definitely a tough one. And.
I get it. It's not really about the man, it's more about the action. And I would. say. probably more about that she's kept a. secret for years. Cuz that feels pretty. and that sucks. I think Listen, men. come, they go. It is what it is. That would hurt me, too. More the lying and keeping the. secret. So, for me, not that I want you. or myself to ever be a doormat. Not at. all. I think it's your sister.
You have to forgive your sister. Doesn't. mean you need to forget and doesn't mean. that your feelings need to be minimized. in any sort of way. But the life you and your sister are. going to have with one another is far. exceeds. the act that was done and we all make. mistakes. I don't know how old she was. when she did this, but I think that does play a factor as. well and I think you will really regret. later in life if you don't try to make.
amends with your sister. cuz there's nothing like a sister. She. knows what she did was wrong. She feels. great remorse about it, but you guys. also have to have really honest. conversations about this so you're not. treated like oh she forgave me. I can do. something else. Like you would never. forgive, I'm assuming, someone else for. this, but your sister it's different. There are different rules, but you also. want your sister to have. great respect for you and it's. depending on the age, but it's almost as.
if she didn't have great respect for. herself and that's why she did something. like that. And so maybe your sister, not making. excuses at all, but maybe she was going. through something really. rough in her life to do something like. that because that's a lot for a sibling. to do. But I I want you. to know that your heart's in the right. place. You are wanting to forgive. It's. just hard for you, but again I really do. think the more you talk it through and.
you set the tone and you're like I. forgive you, you're my sister, I love. you, but this was wrong. X, Y, and Z and. you guys go through the whole list and. you guys talk about it, but talk. No. screaming, no yelling. Really try to. listen to one another. Maybe ask her why. would you do that? And why like you know. why she kept it a secret cuz she was. humiliated. What You only are. keeping a secret about something cuz. you're embarrassed. I think there's a. lot of conversations that need to happen. here. But I honestly think once you have them,
I do think your relationship. will be much better. You never have to. forget. I do think it's the right thing. to do is to forgive and to have the. really hard talks. I absolutely loved doing this Down the. Rabbit Hole podcast with you guys. These. questions were so good, so vulnerable. I'm so so grateful that you guys wrote. your hearts out, truly. And I really. hope I'm doing you all justice with my.
answers. Again, I'm just doing what I. think is best. I am definitely not a. therapist in any way. But I do really I. honor that you guys are trusting me with. such personal information. And so I'm so. so so grateful. Thank you so much. And I. can't wait to do this again with you. guys. You know what Wednesdays are for, and that's Wonderlands.
