Working Hard But Staying Broke (Do This Instead)

You're not bad with money. You were just never taught how to use. it. You were taught how to earn it, not how to grow it. You were taught how to spend it, but not how to invest it. You were taught to chase it, not how to make it work for you. You weren't taught about investing, only about surviving. And it's not your fault you didn't know, but it's your power to learn now. The.

number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one, the. only, Jay Shetty. Hey everyone, welcome back to On. Purpose. I'm Jay Shetty, and I'm so. deeply grateful that you tuned in. I. hope that you've subscribed, so that you. never miss an episode, and make sure you. keep tagging me on Instagram and TikTok, and all your platforms. I love seeing. the clips and the parts that resonate. with you, and I love the community we're. building.

Now, today's episode is about something. that I believe is so important. It's. everything I wish I knew about money in. my 20s. Now, whether you're in your 20s, 30s, 40s, or 50s, this episode still. applies, because I believe that. financial literacy is something we all. learn far too late. It's something that. some of us never learn at all. I'm sure. you've had some challenges with this, whether it's been credit card payments,

whether it's been debt, whether it's. been understanding how to make money or. grow money, whether it's understanding, do I need a side hustle? How many. streams of income do I have? Do I really. know where I'm spending my money? Do I. know where I'm wasting my money? And chances are, if you've turned up. here, there's a part of you that's also. avoided money. I'm guessing there's a part of you that. doesn't like looking at your bank. statement, there's a part of you that. maybe wants to put it away, there's a.

part of you that doesn't check how much. you've saved because you're scared. You're scared to look at the number. It's hard to face. And here's what I want to start by. telling you. It's not your fault. You were never taught how to do it. It's not something you should know how. to do. I think we all feel like we grow. up and all of a sudden we're paying. rent, we're paying taxes, we've got to. figure out what a mortgage is, we've no. idea how that works, everything has. interest, and all of a sudden you grow. up and you go, "Well, wait a minute, no. one told me this in school." Even if you.

studied economics at school, you didn't. know how real world economy worked. Even. if you studied finance at university, you didn't necessarily know how to start. and run a business. It doesn't work that. way. So, I want you to take the pressure. off, and I want this to be the start of. you changing your money mindset. I want this to be the beginning of. transforming your relationship with. money. I think that's the main thing I want to. focus on here.

Currently, you have an avoidant. relationship with money. There are three. types of attachment styles in love. Secure, anxious, and avoidant. And I believe that those three. attachment styles are also our. attachment styles with money. We either feel secure talking about. money and what it is, we feel anxious. talking about money and how much we. make, save, and spend, or we avoid it. all together. Which one are you?

If I asked you right now, do you feel secure talking about money, listening about money, looking at your. bank statements, looking at your. budgeting and saving? Do you feel anxious? So, you might do. those things, but actually there's this. underlying anxiety. I don't have enough. I'm not going to have enough. I don't. like all of this. This is stressful. And then there's avoidance. I don't look. at it at all. I have no idea. We want to transform our relationship. with money to be secure. I'm not saying. we have to be overly confident. I'm not.

saying you have to become a millionaire. I'm not saying that you've got to have. an abundance mindset. I just want you to. feel safe and secure talking about. money, hearing about money, and learning. about money. We've all been taught this myth. I'm sure you've heard it before. Money is the root of all evil. You know what's really interesting about. that? When you actually check the actual. reference, the actual quote is the love of money is.

the root of all evil. Notice how different that is. It's not. that money is the root of all evil. It's the love of money that's the root. of all evil. It's the obsession, it's. the lust, it's the greed after it. that's the root of all evil. But money. itself is energy. Money's a resource. Money is a universal power. Money's a currency.

But when we get lost in this belief that. it's bad, it's negative, our. relationship with it becomes anxious and. avoidant. When we feel it's unhealthy, we're not. being told to not master our money. We're just being told not to fall in. love with it and think it's the be-all. and end-all of everything. That's the. beginning of transforming our. relationship from avoidant to anxious to. secure. Let's dive in. Number one, you don't have an income. problem,

you have a decision problem. Most. 20-year-olds think they'll be better. with money once they can earn more. I'm. sure you've said this as well. When I. have more money, I'll be better at. dealing with it. Right now, I don't have. enough to even think about it. But, science shows that your sense of. control, not your salary, predicts your. financial well-being. People with an internal locus of. control, who believe they influence their.

outcomes, are more likely to budget, save, and bounce back from financial. stress. One of my favorite quotes from. Jim Rohn is he said, "Formal education. will make you a living. Self-education. will make you a fortune.". But, here's the takeaway. The moment you. take responsibility for your financial. habits, even if you're broke, is the. moment you start building wealth. Here's an action.

List three money-related decisions you. can make today, even if your income is. low. You could set up a free budgeting app. You could cancel one unnecessary. subscription. You could transfer £5 to. savings or $5, even if it feels small. Don't avoid talking about money. Don't avoid talking to people about. money. Don't act broke to stay relatable.

Don't play so small so no one feels. uncomfortable. Don't pretend you don't care about. wealth. when you're struggling without it. Don't shame ambition then envy the. results. Don't wait to get rich before learning. how to manage it. Don't hide your. financial goals. Speak them like they. already belong to you. Don't stay silent about money and expect. your relationship with it to improve.

It's like not talking to your partner. and wanting to stay in love. Imagine if you never talked about love. You never talked about your. relationship. You never talked about. connection or intimacy. How good would. your relationship be? How healthy would it be? People who believe that they can control. their destiny, that they can change. their reality, that they take control of. their financial habits, will see change.

I want you to recognize that. You won't. feel better about your financial. situation because you avoid looking at. your bank statement. You'll only feel. better about your financial situation. when you actually turn towards it. Number two. You won't save what you don't see. This. is a psychological principle. We spend. what we mentally label as available. If. your paycheck hits your account and sits. there, your brain sees it as spendable.

This is why automation and separation. are more powerful than discipline. We think, "Oh, I'll be disciplined this. month. I'll spend less." But no, if. there's no automation and separation of. how that money is divided, you will. break your discipline. Mental accounting helps reduce friction. between what you want and what you do. There's an amazing quote I love. It.

says, "Do not save what is left after. spending, but spend what is left after. saving." That's from Warren Buffett, one. of my favorite quotes. "Don't save what. is left after spending, but spend what. is left after saving." You want to. create an automatic save, and then spend. what is left over. You don't want to be. in a position where you just have this. amount in your current account, and. you're thinking, "Okay, I'm going to try.

and save some of it this month." And. then at the end of the month you're. looking at it, and you're back at zero. You've got to remember this. your brain. is lazy but programmable. Make savings invisible. Open a second. account today, automate 10%, 20%, whatever you can do of every paycheck, even if it's $10 to go straight there. And label it freedom fund. Label it your freedom fund. Give it a. name. Give it something exciting. Don't. just call it savings cuz even the word.

saving sometimes can feel boring and. kind of, you know, unenthusing or it can. feel scary to look at a savings account. with not much in it, but a freedom fund. Whatever inspires you. Make it automated. and make it separated. Don't just make money, learn to keep it. Don't spend to look rich, save to stay. free. Don't let every paycheck pass through. you like you don't matter.

Don't confuse lifestyle with wealth. Don't buy comfort now and borrow stress. later. Don't think saving is boring. It's the. most rebellious thing in a world that. wants you broke. Don't wait until you make more. Save now so future you has options. Don't treat saving like a punishment. Treat it like self-respect.

A lot of people that I've spoken to. finance experts as well will talk about. the dangers of how everyone online will. tell you, "Invest, invest, invest." You. may end up losing a bunch of money on. crypto. You may end up losing a bunch of. money on NFTs. You don't need to do any. of those get-rich-quick schemes. What you need to focus on is building. your future. Number three, buying things won't make you rich, but. learning about them actually might. Most people think money is for spending,

not studying. But impulsive buying. triggers dopamine and short-term. pleasure, while financial literacy. builds long-term gain. Studies show. those with higher financial literacy. experience lower anxiety, more saving, and better life outcomes. Warren Buffett. said, "The more you learn, the more you. earn.". Money grows when your brain grows first. Talking about investing, spend 10.

minutes today reading about a financial. concept. Compound interest, inflation, investing, swap one scroll for one. financial insight. Investing in yourself and your knowledge. is a far better investment at the. beginning of your wealth journey than. any other asset. I promise you that. Buying things won't make you rich. Impressing people won't build your net. worth.

Wearing your salary won't grow your. savings. Spending like you're wealthy won't make. you wealthy. Every time you buy to feel better, you're selling off your future peace. You don't need more stuff, you need more. strategy. The goal isn't to look rich. The goal is to stop worrying about. money. Now, I'm not saying I don't want you to. treat yourself. I'm not saying that. I like nice things, too. I'm I I don't.

think there's anything wrong with that. You just don't want it to be. imbalanced. You don't want it to be that. you're stressed every time you buy. something. I was talking to a friend about this. He didn't go to university. He found something that he loved early. on in life and started making a living. Now, in the beginning, it didn't make. him loads of money, but he learned very. quickly how to not get wrapped up in. building a lifestyle and actually how to.

invest it and learn about it. And that's. the point I really want to bring about. here. It's not just investing. Before. investing, there's a learning piece. Okay, is it property? Is it compound? Is. it this? Is it borrowing? Is it It's. figuring that out. And I think a lot of. people today will be like, "Hey, invest. in this cuz this is the next big thing. Hey, invest in this cuz this is the next. big hit." And the challenge with that is. you do something with very low learning. Usually, it's a very big investment. I've got another friend who knew nothing. about crypto, put practically 50% of his. life savings into it,

and then the next week when crypto. dropped, he took everything out cuz he'd. lost 10K and got worried about it. And. then the next week, it all went up. again. And then he'd lost all of it. And. it was just this mess of getting. involved in things and investing in. things that you have very little insight. over. At the same time, I've got friends. who got great jobs out of university, but their lifestyle changed so much that. their lifestyle was competing with their. income. Right? When your lifestyle is competing. with your income, the pressure that we.

experience, that makes it extremely hard. to turn that into future value. A lot of the times, we can look at. people. and think that they're spending. lavishly, but we're looking at a number, not at a percentage. I would start. looking at your life as a percentage of. how much you spend on your lifestyle. versus how much you spend on your. future. It's not about the amount. Someone could spend. 10,000 on a wedding. Someone could spend.

50,000 on a wedding. Someone could spend. a million on a wedding. It's not about. the amount they spend. It's the. percentage of their income that matters. about how they spend. And so, stop. looking at numbers at face value. Start. looking at your life as a percentage of. what you're walking home with after tax. and figuring out how that feels for you. I think the before and after tax is a. whole conversation in and of itself. So. many of us look at how much we make as a. revenue standpoint or as an income. standpoint and not looking at what does.

that look like after tax? What does that. look like after rent? What does that. look like after my car bill? Right? I. see so many people with really great. amazing cars that is their entire salary. is the amount that car is worth and all. of a sudden when you start looking at. those payments monthly, it starts. getting really painful. Don't ignore the. reality of trying to present your. lifestyle in a certain way. I've also find it. to be what's known as the golden.

handcuffs. A lot of people get so used to their. lifestyle that they can't quit a job. they hate. So you actually hate what. you're doing, but you can't stop doing. it because it pays for the lifestyle you. want. The question you have to ask yourself. is, do I want to do something I hate for. the rest of my life. to pay for things? And it's okay if you. do. If the answer is yes, that's fine. But often times we get an opportunity to. do something closer to our heart, but we. don't want to take it because we'd make.

less. In my own life, I went through. that. I had a stable job as a. consultant. I was doing okay. Okay being. very important as part of it. And I wasn't doing well and I wasn't. doing badly. I was doing just fine. And I gave that up to pursue my passion. and I'm so grateful for that because I. am so thankful that I get to do what I. love today, but I had to take off the. golden handcuffs. I had a safe stable. career lined up, but I was willing to. make less. I was willing to make nothing.

at all in the beginning to get it going. and I'm grateful that I was able to put. those down. So don't be tied by the. golden handcuffs. Step number four. Debt isn't evil, but ignorance is. Most. 20-somethings are taught that all debt. is bad. It's not. What's dangerous is. not understanding how it works and what. type of debt you're getting into. We. avoid debt education out of fear, yet. the avoidance is what leads to mistakes.

Psychology shows that we react more. strongly to losses than gains. So, we. emotionally shut down around debt. One of my favorite quotes is if you. don't find a way to make money while you. sleep, you will work until you die. That's Warren Buffett as well. So, the. takeaway is you can't beat a system you. don't understand. Action point for you. Learn the basics, APR, credit score, interest. Pick one.

debt, could be your student loan, credit. card, and break down how it actually. works. Then make a plan. Do one thing at. a time. Don't just look at debt as this. one big bubble. Student loan is. different to credit card debt. Go and. understand it deeply and see what. support there is out there as well. Number five, you're not lazy, you're. overwhelmed. We blame ourselves for being bad with. money. But often it's not laziness, it's too.

many small unresolved financial. decisions draining willpower. Science. shows that decision fatigue leads to. avoidance, impulsive spending, and. missed opportunities. P.T. Barnum famously said, "Money is a. terrible master, but an excellent. servant." Here's the takeaway. Simplify before you scale. What does that look like in action? Pick. one financial goal for the next 30 days,

just one, and track only that. No. pressure to fix everything at once, and. remember, you're not bad with money, you were just never taught how to use. it. You were taught how to earn it, not how to grow it. You were taught how to spend it, but not how to invest it. You were taught to chase it, not how to make it work for you.

You weren't taught about investing, only about surviving. You learned to feel guilty when you had. money, and ashamed when you didn't. You inherited stress, not strategy. And it's not your fault you didn't know, but it's your power to learn now. Number six, your money beliefs aren't. yours, they're inherited. This is from a. psych principle of cognitive scripts and.

money archetypes by Brad Klontz. What we. don't realize is we grow up absorbing. money messages. Maybe in your house people always said, "Money's hard to make. Rich people are. greedy, or we don't talk about. finances.". These unconscious scripts drive your. habits until you rewrite them. T. Harv Eker said, "Your money. blueprints are not set in stone. You can. change them." So, here's the takeaway.

You can't change your future until you. challenge your programming. Write down three money beliefs you heard. growing up. What were the things your. parents said? What were the things your. family members said? What were the What. was the rhetoric around money? And ask. yourself, "Do these still serve me?". Then rewrite one. Instead of saying, "Money is selfish,". write, "Money is fuel for generosity.". Notice the difference.

You can change your relationship with. money. You can stop chasing it out of. fear, and start building it from wisdom. You can stop using it to impress and. start using it to invest. You can stop. hiding from your bank account and start. owning every number. You can stop. saying, "I'm bad with money.". and start learning like your future. depends on it. Because it does. You can rewrite the. money stories you were raised on. You.

can replace guilt with clarity. You can. replace shame with strategy, scarcity. with intention. It's not about how much you have. It's about how you treat it. And how you treat money. determines whether it stays or leaves. Think about a partner. Is your partner going to stay if you. don't respect them? Is your partner going to stay if you. don't invest in them? Is your partner. going to stay if you don't learn about.

them? Is your partner going to stay if. you avoid them? No. Money is exactly the same. But why do we treat it so differently? It's because of these narratives that we. built up since we were kids. I grew up. in a house where we always had just. enough, which meant I looked at my bank. account growing up with zero in it a. lot. I started working when I was 14. I paid for my first phone bill, paid for. my car, my car insurance. I started. paying for things very, very early in.

life. I but I was lucky to live at my. parents, so I wasn't paying for rent. But I started learning the value of. money and I remember growing up just. looking at my bank balance and seeing. zero because my money mindset was, "I. need just enough." Would I ever say I. need just enough oxygen? Imagine you had all the oxygen for the. next 3 months in a bag. And you're like, "All right, I've only. got 3 months, but I've got just enough. for 3 months." You'd You wouldn't do. that. You'd be like, "Oh god, I need to. figure out how to get more oxygen." Or I. need a I need to have more available. oxygen. I can't live like that. Money.

and oxygen are very similar like that. And by the way, I've been there. I've. been nearly 4 months away from being. broke. I know what it feels like to be. living paycheck to paycheck with only. enough money for rent and groceries. Having been there, what I know is that. there was a lot of fear. There was a lot. of stress. It was because I was avoiding. conversations about money. I was avoiding looking at where the. money was going. It was just coming in. and going out, and I wasn't breaking it. down. If you're not aware of how much is. being saved, how much is going to bills,

if you're not budgeting, if you're not. taking a look at this at a very basic. level, you will always be scared. I don't want you to be scared anymore. Number seven, generosity multiplies wealth, not drains. it. We're taught to hoard money when. stressed, but psychology shows that. intentional generosity improves. well-being, long-term wealth mindset, and even motivation. People who give even small amounts are. more optimistic and productive. One of.

the things I love to see is I've been. very fortunate over the last few years. to lead some fundraisers. We led one. online during the pandemic for Give. India, and it was phenomenal to see so many of. you jump in. And it was because of. people like yourself who jumped in at. $5, $10, that we were able to raise over. $5 million. in 24 hours. People often think, "What. will my $5 do? What will my $10 do?" I.

promise you it makes a difference, because what we need is a lot of people. who give a little. That great giving that happens connects. us, and I saw that in action. I remember. we did this live broadcast where we were. raising money. We had big donors who. were matching it. I had friends like Ray. Dalio come in and give a million dollars. to match whatever we were doing. We had. in diaspora who were matching whatever. we made as well, but it was you who. raised millions of dollars that then.

were matched by these other donors, and. that's what created this beautiful. feeling of giving. And one of the things. I think about is if I have more, I have. more to give. It's a beautiful mindset. to have. And that's what it is. It's the. responsibility of those who have more to. give more. That's what it's there for. And so. you don't have to be greedy. There's a. famous quote. that I've heard many, many times. And it says, "Money just makes you more. of who you are.".

Right? It just amplifies who you were in. the first place. A lot of us are scared to become wealthy. because we're scared it might change our. hearts. I'm here to tell you that it will only. make you more of who you are. If you're a generous person, if you have. more money, you'll just be more. generous. If you're a greedy, small-minded person, it will just make you more of that. And so, don't feel like it will change. you. It doesn't have to change you. There's a famous Drake lyric that I love. where he said, "I like when money makes a difference, but doesn't make you different.".

And that's what I think we have to. approach it from. It's how can we use. money to make a difference in our lives, the people that we love, and people. beyond. So, that's the takeaway. And. here's the action I want to leave you. with here. Give something small this. week. £5, your time, a referral, or a. skill. All of that is giving. Watch how your energy towards money. shifts when it serves others as well. Here's my final thought. Money isn't just numbers. It's emotion.

It's energy. It's identity. At 20, you're not too young to build. wealth. You're early enough to build it. with wisdom. Start with just one of these shifts. today, and remember, the wealthiest people aren't always the. ones who made the most money. They're the ones who built the best. relationship with money. Let me know. what resonated with you, what connected. with you. I'd love to do more episodes.

about our financial health and. well-being. I'm always approaching it. from an energetic standpoint. I have. some amazing experts on the show giving. you much more tactical, practical, specific insights on what to do with. your money. Make sure you go and check. out those episodes. We've had everyone. from Cody Sanchez to just breathe to. many, many more. Do not miss those. episodes on financial well-being. I'll. see you very soon. If you love this. episode, you will also love my interview. with Charles Duhigg on how to hack your.

brain, change any habit effortlessly, and the secret to making better. decisions. Look, am I hesitating on this. because I'm scared of making the choice, cuz I'm scared of doing the work, or am. I sitting with this because it just. doesn't feel right yet?