UNLOCK Financial Freedom: #1 Career Mistake Women Make (Men NEVER Do This!)
Fear is paralyzing. I don't want to. fail. I don't want to get rejected, but. I always think back to will I regret it. more than not doing it. Will I look back. 1 year from now if I'm in the same. dead-end job? I will regret that. decision more than I fear making a. decision and having it be the wrong one. How are you going to move forward if you. don't put yourself in a position that. actually makes you uncomfortable? The. number one health and wellness podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The one the only. Jay Shetty.
Where I really want to start is so much. of my audience right now is probably. listening or watching. They're feeling stuck in a job that they. don't love. They might have an idea or maybe they. don't even know what they're passionate. about and they just don't know where to. start. What's the first thing you should do? Oh. my gosh, yes. I totally relate and. there's so many people that I talk to. that are saying. how they are stuck and I wrote I mean in. the book I talk about staying too long,
right? Staying too long in a job you. hate in the job you wake up and you. dread going to and how do you get out? And I call that my exit ramp strategy. Like what's the exit ramp? How do I get. from where I am today to where I want to. be? And the first step starts with. thinking for me, where do I want to be. in 1 year from today? It gets so. overwhelming if you try to have it all. mapped out, but if you can just think. what's my vision? What do I want to be. in 1 year and then work your way. backwards to today and take small tiny.
steps in order to achieve it, it's more. manageable and I think a year's a good. enough you know, a nice enough amount of. time to be able to put that first step. into action and and make that change. that you want to make. But it starts. with knowing and making you know, that. putting that line in the sand that I'm. going to change my life. Yeah, I. remember I'm thinking about when I've. been. on the verge of wanting to quit or move. and before I started doing all of this, I was in a corporate job.
I was stable. I was safe. I didn't love it and it I. wasn't necessarily that successful. I. was good at what I did, but it was going. to be a long time before I had a. successful career trajectory. And I. remember for me, it was asking that. question and also, funnily enough, another question which was kind of at. the other extreme, which was do I want. to be where everyone else is who's 20. years older than me in this company? So, I would look at someone who's at the. company who's 10, 20 years older, more.
senior than me. I I would think, do I. want to be doing that when I'm 20 years. older than myself? To also get a reality. check, right? Does that resonate? Like. >> 20 years, I got How many times? I mean, you definitely shouldn't stay that long, right? Well, someone actually told me. the other day, they were in a job for 20. years. I I I thought, oh my gosh, 20. years, right? My rule of thumb, if. you're not earning and you're not. learning, you got to make a change. And. if you're not there, say you've been in. a job less than. less than 3 years, but over 3 years, you.
got to really look at what is your. career path because you could just get. stuck. Yeah. And you just end up. staying. And honestly, I stayed too long. in a job. I mean, I had sold my company. I ended up staying cuz it was. comfortable. Mhm. But I wasn't living. the highest and best use of my skills. and my talents. It was just easy and. this it was scary to make change, right? >> Well, I think that's what it is. Like, I. think a lot of people, before we dive. into some of the mistakes that made you. a millionaire, like I think for a lot of. people, we're just scared because we.
don't see the options. We don't really know what's available. We maybe even have been in a workplace. that's made us doubt our abilities. Maybe you've not been in an empowering. place where you feel good about. yourself. Maybe you have a boss that. doesn't acknowledge you or your. commitments or maybe you have a team of. people that have made you shrink a. little bit or maybe you've just ended up. in a job based on something you studied. at college and now you realize I don't. even like this anymore. So, when you're.
scared and you're facing fear, what do what do you do with that? Because it can keep you so paralyzed and. so stuck. What do you do to break. through that fear of saying, "Well, let. me at least think about the next 1 year. Let me at least look at the options. around me." I mean, fear is paralyzing, right? And I've had that happen for me. Just paralyzing because I am scared. I. don't want to fail. I don't want to get. rejected. I don't want the pain that. comes with trying something new. But I. always think back to.
will I regret it more than do not doing. it? Like, will I look back 1 year from. now if I'm in the same dead-end job and. I hate my my you know, what I do every. day. I will regret that decision more than I. fear making a decision and having it be. the wrong one. Mhm. And so, really. thinking about is is the regret, you. know, bigger than the fear? Yeah, definitely. And I I love that question. and I've definitely sat with that and I. think that's what made me do what I do. now, which was I would have regretted if.
I never tried my hand at media. And I'm look back now and I think, "Oh. my gosh, I would have been the craziest. person in the world to not try." And. you're so right that regret is probably. the only emotion stronger than fear. Yes. >> And you have to kind of tap into that to. unlock and get better. Yeah, thinking to. your point, in 20 years I will regret. staying here and regret doing that. It's. also about just staying in. relationships. What you're going to look. back and regret being in that, too. Right? How But it's hard to change. I.
get it. Like, I've been there. It's so. hard to change. It's hard to make the. decision. But again, making sure that you think. about the regret of not making the the. decision is so much worse. >> Yeah. Mistake number one you say is. waiting to be 100% ready. I think this is you you hit the nail on. the head with this one. I really truly. truly believe that we're all wrapped up. in what you call the four P's like the. perfectionism like wanting it to be. perfect brilliant know everything about.
everything. We you say we want to be we. procrastinate like we'll just overthink. the thing. How ready do you need to be in order to. start like on a scale of one to ten or. actually let's look at percentages zero. to a hundred percent. what percentage ready do you need to be. in order to start? I think when I look. at being a hundred percent ready and it. is mostly the fear and I've been there. I wasn't ready when I started my first. company. I mean I was too young. I.
didn't have an experience. I've never. been a CEO. I didn't have any money. I. definitely I calculated because I was my. type A personality made a spreadsheet. it's like not ready. How can you're not. ready? You know and at that point you. have to decide are you ready enough? And. the way I decided was actually I learned. really early on I had heard this Marine. Corps rule of thumb which is a 70% rule. And so it said if you're 70% ready you. should take action.
If you're a hundred percent ready you've. already missed the opportunity. So I started using that rule the 70%. rule to take action. It helped me. balance analysis and action and move. forward and I still use it all the time. If I'm 70% ready I take action. I move. and I assume I'm going to figure it out. along the way. And if you think so to your point what's. the percentage? 70%. >> that. I like that. Yeah that that really. resonates. I I think that's right. I. think. one thing I love that you said about.
there is that I think most successful. people. they know that they'll figure it out. along the way. They don't believe that. the first thing they make will be the. best thing or they don't believe the. first thing they put out will be the. final thing. And I think when we're. inexperienced, we think, "No, the first. thing I have to put out has to be my. best thing." And you think about that, and you go, "How's that even possible?". Right? Like, the first pair of shoes. that Nike made were not their best. shoes. The first uh drink that we made. with Juni, like our first flavors were.
not our best flavors. Like, the first. thing you make is never going to be the. best. It's not going to be the last, and. it's not going to be final. And so, you. had this vision of I'll figure it out. along the way. How does someone. know they're 70% ready? Like, if they. were if they had an idea, what is 70%. classified as? What do you think that's. made up of? I think 70% is enough that. you're still like perfecting the edges, right? You're still thinking, "Oh, I. could make a tweak to my deck, or make a.
tweak to my business plan, or make a a. wait a little bit longer." You know, you. make up excuses. So, I think as the. point where you start making excuses for. why you're not ready, that's the 70%. >> Right. Right. And I think it's not I'm. I've done nothing, obviously. You have. to be 70%. So, you have an idea, you've. probably made a prototype, you're ready. to go to market, and then you convince. yourself why you can't do it. >> Yes. That's the point where you actually. need to go and get customer feedback. Me. and you both know, you got to get out. there, get the customer feedback, get. market feedback, because you're going to.
likely change. >> Yeah. Talk to me about those steps, because those steps that you just laid. out, I think are so important. You just. said, you go to make a product, you go. to make a uh you uh you you go to make a. prototype, you go to get customer. feedback. When you think about building. something, whatever it may be, that is. actually the fastest way to figure it. out. And this idea of having a. prototype, or a minimum viable product, is cool. Like, so if you want to write a. book, write a blog post. Yeah. And put.
the blog post out there, and see whether. people connect with it, engage with it, what comments they put on it. If you You. to start a podcast, interview I mean, when I first met you, I didn't have a. podcast. I was interviewing people on. Facebook live. >> Yeah. And I could see what the comments. were saying and I could engage with. people and that gave me confidence to. have an interview show and actually. build a podcast. To me, that is the. first step for anyone out there. It's. like, whatever you want to build, build. the smallest, cheapest, easiest version. of it and put it out there, right?
>> Yes, totally agree with you. >> examples you've had to do that with. I. mean, yeah, I think for me it's dream. big, really, really big, and then start. really small, right? Start small and. people ask me all the time, do I need to. have money to start a business? The. answer is no. You actually don't. Today, I mean, you need to actually have the. grit and the ability to get your product. to market. So, it could be a farmer's. market. It doesn't matter. It could be. going door-to-door. You just have to get. a minimal viable product and understand.
if you actually someone will pay for it. Cuz if they're not going to pay for it, it's a hobby. Yes. >> come and they're like, I got a great. idea. Will someone pay for your idea? If. it's not, you're it's a hobby, which is. nice, but a business is here to make. money. Absolutely. Yeah, I was talking. about it with someone earlier today. We. had when we launched our smoothie at. Erewhon, a lot of people comment. So, I did this. launch, if you remember, and we did it. with the book and our drinks and. everything else at Erewhon and we loved. them over there and we had. a lot of people wait outside and they. came in droves and I met this one guy.
who was like really excited to make. content for me and like work with me. And he showed me some of his stuff and. it looked cool and I was like, cool, talk to my team and get connected. The. next thing I know, he was on vacation. and shooting Juni just for fun. I love. that. And then he sent me a picture and. now he's editing so many things across. different parts of our business. But it. was the same thing. He showed me a. minimum viable product. >> Right. So, he went out and did a photo. shoot. I never asked him to. No one told. him to. He went and did it. He was on. vacation. He shot Juni cans in the.
ocean, sent me pictures on DMs. I just. saw it and I was like, "Guys, this. picture's really great." I remember. sending it to our chat and the whole. team was like, "Oh, that's awesome." And. I'm like, "Yeah, we just got it for. free. Like, this guy just made it and. now he's working." So, in any regard, I. just feel like when you can build the. simplest, easiest, cheapest version of. what you believe in, that is the first. step. >> Yes. >> And then hear what people have to say. How do we get over that hunch that we're. scared of what people are going to think. of what we put out there? Because when.
it's the easiest, cheapest version, we. know it's not perfect and now we're. trying to like over justify and be like, "Yeah, but this isn't the final one.". And it But But how do you allow yourself. to put out something that's 70% knowing. that people are going to criticize, judge, and have an opinion on it? >> they're going to judge anyway, right? And so, I I mean, I look at it, the. naysayers and the critics and the dream. killers, they're going to. tell you why it's not going to work no. matter what you do. When I started my. first company, they're like, "That. internet is a fad." Like, that.
internet's going to be nowhere. Obviously, the internet became so large. But back in the day, you just It's crazy. to think. It's crazy to think that. people are like, "No, the internet. company's going to is a terrible idea, Kim." Obviously. But your confidence in. your idea has to be greater than anyone. else's doubt. That is the bottom line. So, you just have to believe more in. what you're building than anyone else. It's like, that's all noise. You just. got to shut out the noise and keep. pushing towards your vision. What have. you seen? Because you've also coached so.
many entrepreneurs. You've invested in. so many companies. You continue to build so many companies. yourself. What have you noticed about. the difference between. delusional confidence. and delusional confidence that works? Because it almost feels like. everyone who wins at life is delusional. to some degree. They had to over. believe. But then you also see a subset. of people who do over believe, but there. isn't anything there. Like, there isn't. value there. I mean, yeah. Where does.
that come in? Ideas are a dime a dozen. Execution's. everything. So, I get pitched all the. time. I got a great idea, great idea. You know what? The next 3 months from. now they're going to tell me I still. have a great idea. And then I'll see. them in a year. Kim I've got this. amazing idea. Honestly, I want the guy. or the woman, the man, whoever it is to. come with me, say I've got a great idea, and I already started. But I started. I. started my bait my bathroom, I started. my kitchen, I started my garage. I don't. care where you start. But I actually had. the courage to take the first step. It's. easy to dream, it's hard to do.
And so, I want someone that is doing it. >> Yes. The biggest mistake people make is. not asking. I did that. When I wanted to. go to college, I wanted to go to Duke, and I had a family friend that gone. there, he was alumni. I didn't ask him. to make write me a recommendation. because I just felt I was wasting his. time. What a mistake. Eight was where. the sweet spot for me. I think some. people can manage a lot more. But in order to really scale, like a. billion dollars on annual basis, that.
was where I found I was like. perfect. They're telling you it's not. going to work, you can't do it because. that's what they think, not what you. think. That's why when you're watching. Shark Tank or Dragon's Den, the. entrepreneurs that are the most. impressive are the ones who already have. sales data. Even if it's early days, the. entrepreneurs are always more impressed. by that than they are about someone. who's like, "Well, we haven't put out as. much yet, we don't know." Right. And so, that idea of learning and iterating, and. I think it's like shifting our mindset. because I feel like when we were at.
school, when you handed in a report, that was. it. Right. Right? So, we were trained at. school. that when you hand in a report or you do. an exam, it's final. It's done. Whereas real life and business is you. hand in your first version of a. prototype, and then you iterate, and you. improve, and you change, and you evolve. And so it's a real shift for people's. brains because we've all been. conditioned to believe that no, once you. hand it in, that's it. That's your. grade. Cuz if you got a grade A, that's.
great. And if you got a grade C, that's. it. You got a grade C on your scorecard. You didn't get to go, "Oh, well, now I'm. going to make that report seven times. better and I'm going to change this. paragraph and I'm going to do this. research." Whereas that's what real. life's like. So, how have you trained. yourself and trained other people to. change that mindset because I feel so. many of us get lost in thinking, "Well, no, it's final. It's done. I don't have. that ability to figure it out and make. things better." I think it's interesting.
to watch because. people. are trained to your point to want to be. perfect, right? These picture-perfect, I. get an A, I move on. But the reality, the most successful people that I know. are making mistakes and iterating along. the way. Mhm. And that's where you get. the most growth because you're putting. yourself out there. You're actually. being okay if you fail. Mhm. And if. you're okay to fail, you're probably. twice as likely to succeed, right? The. entrepreneurs that fail first are going.
to, you know, statistically proven to do. better the second time. So, you actually. should be putting yourself in positions. that you might not be successful. Yeah, I was watching a movie you just you just. uh reminded me of something. I was. watching The Founder again recently, which is one of my favorite movies. It's. the story of Ray Kroc and how he built. McDonald's. >> Mhm. And if you haven't watched it, anyone who's listening or watching, make. sure you go watch the movie. It's on. Netflix, I think. But I was watching it. again because it's it's truly one of my. favorite movies and there's this scene. in it where Ray Kroc, who's the who.
never founded McDonald's but built the. business because he took it off the. McDonald's brothers. But there's a scene where he's at like. this members club with his wife that his. wife wants to go to. And all of his friends have heard about. all his bad business ideas. And he's. executed on them, but they've all. failed. So McDonald's is like his. seventh business or something like that. It's not his first. And so all the. people around him are kind of laughing. at him going, "Oh, is this another one. of your franchise Oh, cool franchise. model?" Like everyone's laughing it off.
And in that moment his wife kind of. stands up for him and says, "Well, no, I. think this time it's different." And. they kind of listen to her because she. thinks it's different. But it's so. interesting that we're all scared of the. people closest to us because they've. seen us fail. And so making mistakes and. failing is uncomfortable because the. people around us kind of remind us of. it. Like everyone at that table was. like, "Ray, is this one another one of. your crazy ideas?" And so what do you do. when you feel like the people closest to. you are your biggest doubters? Because I.
think that's we're not worried about the. internet, we're not worried about a. customer cuz you don't really even know. that. You're worried about what your. mom's going to say. Like I remember when. I was quitting my safe job to do what I. do today, my whole family was like, "You know. you're getting married this year?" Like. you don't quit your job when you're. getting married. Like that's so unsafe. Or I was hearing things like, "Well, you. were so lucky to get that job after you. lived as a monk. You know you're not You were so hard for. you to get that job. Like now you're. going to leave that? Like how are you. going to give that up? How are you going.
to pay your mortgage? How are you going. to pay rent?" Like these are the things. people are hearing. And so. making mistakes and failing is hard. because it's almost like everyone. reminds you. of your past mistakes. So what do you. do? For me, when I was growing up, my. dad is a serial entrepreneur and he's. always on the brink of bankruptcy and. starting some very much like Ray Kroc. Always got some idea, chasing some. dream, betting the farm. But at dinner he would ask us what was. the worst thing that happened to you. today. And so from a very young age, he.
normal I mean it's very odd to ask. I. have four children, right? If I asked. them all the time what's the worst thing. that happened, I think it was. entrepreneur therapy for my father, to. to honest, but side note, it normalized. failure for me because it became okay to. fail. And so how do we have the same. conversation with ourselves? What's the. worst worst thing to happen to you. today? I mean like something we know. we're in business. Something goes wrong. every single day. >> Absolutely. It's inevitable, but how you.
respond to it is what makes the. difference. And so if we can just look at the. setbacks and the challenges and the. things that go wrong as essential. stepping stones to what will go right. Mhm. And it's just it's inevitable, right? Success isn't a straight line. It's a winding curving road and if you. can continue to push forward and know. that. okay, I'm going to get rejected. This. isn't going to go my way and nor start. normalizing failure for yourself and. making it okay. And with all the family,
I mean obviously my family is embracing. failure. I totally get in other, you. know, families obviously that's not the. case, but even when I started my company, they. told me this is a terrible idea. Like. you again, it goes back to you just have. to believe. >> Mhm. Like obviously not to delusion. You. have to get to market and ensure that. it's viable, but don't listen to those. naysayers. Yeah. How did you How do you. then pass down to your kids? Like you. said you wouldn't sit down with your. kids and say what's the worst thing that.
happened to you today. Like you wouldn't. teach it in the same way. Right. >> How are you thinking about teaching your. kids about failure and making mistakes. and not judging themselves or worrying. about judgment? Like how do you do that? And I know they're young, but like you. said, this starts young. >> It starts young. So for Will, I changed. the dinner table conversation. I use. something called pow wow bow, which is. pow the worst thing that happens to you, right? Wow the best thing that happens. to you and bow like what are you. grateful for. So it's a different take.
on the dinner table ritual, but it. grounds them in understanding failure. failure and mistakes are normal. Great. things happen and it's a different way. to. teach them how to bounce back from the. challenges. >> Well, you're almost teaching them that. it's it's 1/3. Like it's a part of it, but then there's something amazing that. happen every day and there's something. to be grateful for, which is really. which is a much more complete view of. life. >> Right. >> Rather than just looking at what went. wrong. >> Exactly. >> But but it is important. Yeah, I I feel. like I'm trying to think about it where.
it happened in my life like where I just. I feel like at school. it was probably my I I feel like it was. my art teacher who just he wanted things. to be imperfect and raw. Oh, that's. amazing actually. >> And and I was never good at painting or. drawing. So, I always thought I was bad. at art and he made me realize how art. was expression and it wasn't how well. you could draw a self-portrait, which I. can't do or how well you draw a person. Like he was like, that's not art. Art's. expression and story and creativity. And.
so, I think he took away that. perfectionist idea cuz I think when we. think of art, we think of the Mona Lisa. And then when you look at something like. Jackson Pollock, you're just like that's. just dots on a you know, what is that or. like lines and dots and you know, but. it's like no, there was some expression. There was some theory behind that that. worked. And whether you can appreciate. or not, the idea is that art is. imperfect. It's expressive. It's not. always like a picture-perfect painting. and the colors being amazing. So, I look. at in my childhood and I go, where did I. learn to fail and be okay with it? And.
even now, I know that we have to fail. every single day to get to where we are. in. the content we put out, the podcast we. choose to do, everything. Like it is the. only way and I always say to my team, 30% of our content always has to fail. >> Oh, see. Because that's a percentage and. it's kind of 70/30. And I'm like, 30% of our content has to. be experimental. 30% of our content has to be. experimental because we'll never. discover the next style, format, genre.
of content if we just keep doing what. we're doing right now. But I'm I'm. always trying to think like, how do I. help people really embrace that? Because. it's easy to say and hard to do when. you're like, well, Jay, if I fail, I may. never get another shot. And I think. that's how people feel. That if I get. the door shut on my face, where am I. going to go? Like if I go pitch my idea. and it's not good enough, isn't that the end? No, and I think. that's what we have wrong, because as an. investor,
and as an entrepreneur, I raise a lot of. money and I invest my a lot of money. You're going to get rejected a hundred. times. So when people come and they. said, oh, someone didn't like my idea, they want to invest, five people, listen, you got 95 more to go, right? This is a numbers game. So you have to. understand that if you want to be. successful, you're going to have to get. rejected a lot. And that's okay. It's honestly part of. the process. And knowing I usually say, you know, go for the no. Yeah. Go for. the no. Just show up and try to get the. no, because you're putting yourself out. there, you're getting better with each.
pitch, you're understanding what the. investor wants or doesn't want, and by. the time you get to a hundred, you got. this nailed. And you overcome your fear. of rejection at the same time, right? >> Yeah. Yeah, and you learn so much. I. remember yesterday we were pitching and. working with one of our brands, and we. sat on a meeting, the team had come up. with this really amazing comprehensive. deck, but I could see within 10 minutes. the CEO that we were talking to. was cut their head was in a different. space. They were present, but I could. tell that that wasn't turning their. wheels. And so it was like, let's just.
put this aside and have a conversation, and we learned so much more through. having a conversation rather than just. delusionally just talking about what. we'd planned. And I think that's part of. it, too. It's like actually being. present and going, well, I'm just going. to listen. Listen. >> Because actually, if I just listen, I'm. going to learn so much more about what. you actually want, what you need, how. your brain works, and now I can be. honest with myself and go, I remember. actually years ago when I was building. my coaching company, I went to. pitch at a coaching firm. This is so be. up before my content. And I was pitching.
a corporate coaching session on. emotional intelligence. And I was talking to the head buyer at. this corporate company in HR. And they told me what they wanted. And I. remember leaving the meeting going, I. actually don't have what you want. Like. but thanks so much. And I felt so proud. of myself for being able to admit that I. actually didn't have what they were. looking for and that was okay. But I. would be able to find someone who was. looking for what I was selling if that. makes sense. >> for sure. >> And and I think it's that belief of. recognizing that there is space in the.
world for so much more than we think. there is. I think we think there's only. space for. Nike. And then you think about it and. you're like, wait a minute, there's. Nike, there's Adidas, there's Reebok, there's New Balance, there's Converse, there's Lacoste. I can go on and on and. on. But we we kind of in our brain are. wired to believe there's only two. successful brands. Yeah, but there's. Lululemon. There's. there's Vuori, there's. Alo, there's you know, it's like now it. just starts expanding and you could have.
said, well, or you could have said. athleisure was already all done like 5. years ago, it's too saturated. But now. you've got Set Active, you've got. Fabletics. Like, you know, you it's you. start recognizing, oh, there's a lot of. space in the world. >> There's so much space and you don't have. to innovate, but you could iterate. And. that's what we have to understand is how. do you iterate the next generation of. that version of whatever it is you're. trying to create. >> I mean, I've been pitched. People are. like, this idea has already been gone, right? Like I was pitching an idea and. someone was like, ah, this never going.
to work. The idea is already The idea is. already had. I ended up investing cuz I. bet on the people and it went to like a. $30 market cap. So, honestly, if someone. tells you it's already been done, I. don't believe you. Like, it could be. outdone, it could be differentiated, there's better marketing, there's always. an opportunity to your point to create. Yeah. Yeah, and that's what you've got. to look for. Yes. >> We're too worried about being first or. being the best instead of being. different. Exactly. >> And and people are buying difference, not first or best. No, they would just.
want what makes you unique. >> Yes. Right? And like why are you. different? >> it talking to me? >> Exactly. Exactly. 100%. >> There's a reason why a brand speaks to. you and connects with you more than. another, no matter how big or small it. may be. Exactly. There's always. opportunity. That's where we need to put. our energy rather than like, "Oh my god, I'm going to be behind. Oh my god, I'm. going to be last." The the second. mistake you talk about is this idea of. trying to do it all alone. Oh, yes. That's so hard. I know, but I think a. lot of people can think like that. I.
mean, I grew up as a twin and from an. early age I was always in competition. with my twin sister and she was smarter. and faster and better than me at. basically everything. We took a test. She ended up being, you. know, aced the test. Genetically, we're. the same, so it didn't make any sense, but she got bust off to the smart school. and I stayed back because I didn't ace. the test and, you know, my friends. called me, you know, said, "You're not. the smart one." Which labels you. But. then from an early age I just became a.
lone wolf, right? Just like, "Okay, I'll. just do everything on my own. I'm not. going to try to compete with her. I'll. play tennis. I'll swim. Anything that's. a lone sport.". Because it just didn't like I didn't. want to compete. But that is such a mistake because. trying to do everything alone will not. get you very far. It's only till later. after I was burnt out, exhausted, working 16 hours a day by myself, at my. kitchen table, that I learned that. there's no way you will be truly.
successful until you surround yourself. with the right people. Mhm. And that was. a game changer for me. >> Mhm. And I think for so many people out. there, for whatever reason, ego or you. just want to do it alone because you. want to prove to the world that you can. do it. Again, maybe. But. statistically, you won't be able to do. it alone. And until for me, mentorship. has been such a key factor in my I mean. even us, we have a great mentor in our. business. So, just having a mentor.
statistically, 93% of self-made. millionaires have mentors. Mhm. It's the. lowest hanging fruit for any person that. wants to be successful, right? And a. mentor doesn't have to be someone that's. hugely successful. It could be the local. business vendor. It just needs someone. that's a little bit ahead of you, right? And that's the key. It's someone that. you can learn from, who's been there, who's done that, who can teach you. Because you will not be successful. alone. No one is. Yeah. I think that's. the I think that you just nailed it. That's the biggest mistake, I think,
when we make trying to find mentors. because we want to be mentored by the. people we see on TV. And that person's. either not accessible, available, doesn't have time. But also, they've found that success in such a. different way. And you're so right that what you really. want to do is talk to your local bakery, talk to your local design store, talk to. your local, you know. And now. everything's local, it's online. Right. >> And there's so many companies and so. many people that would be happy. Talk to me about how you build an.
effective relationship with a mentor. Because I think people are struggling. right now where. some people don't have time. Everyone's. very busy to give time mentors. Then. mentors sometimes feel like everyone's. just take, take, take, take, take. And. then there's people saying, "Well, let. me do some work for you." But then that. comes with like a hidden agenda of like, "Oh, and you're going to give me free. mentorship." So, I think it's kind of. messy space right now. Like, how do you. actually build an effective mentoring. relationship? How do you find one and. how do you build an effective. relationship with one? Okay. So, those.
are good questions. One, how do you find. one? Three words. Let's have coffee. In. our case, tea. But yes. Because you can easily ask someone for. 15 minutes of a coffee date or a tea dip. date. That is like to me, and I've been. doing this for 20 years, 15 minutes. Jade, do you want a 15 minutes? Granted, you cannot email someone on TV and ask. for them to have 15 minutes of your. time. But you could email someone, I. guarantee, five people in your network. that you actually want to learn from and.
try to find a personal connection point. So if you email me and say, "Hey Kim, you're a twin. I'm building something. for twins, women in business, children. under the age of 10." I need a personal. connection, and then I I have the desire. to mentor you. >> Mhm. And it becomes I mean, mentorship. is personal. If there's a price tag, that's not a mentor, that's a. consultant. >> Mhm. Right? So if someone's saying, "I'll mentor you for $10,000, $2,000, $1,000, whatever it is." That's not a. mentor. I mean, I mentor a lot of. people. It is truly I want the person to.
be successful. >> Mhm. And so I'm going to dedicate my. time to ensuring their success. And you. want someone who actually cares about. you, who really cares about you, what. you're creating. And that. type of mentorship is so priceless. Mhm. And so finding that, I mean, if there's. only one thing you do ever, is finding. that mentor, that person, because. you're going to hit roadblocks, you call. them. They It's such a beautiful. connection if you can find the right. one. But again, if you call someone and.
they don't call you back, that's not the. mentor. Yeah. You Yeah. And you And you. get hung up. You want to find the person. who has time to give, who cares about. you, who wants to do that. And just because someone doesn't want to. do that, doesn't mean they're a bad. person. They're just not your mentor. Because they might be doing it for. someone else. >> Yeah. Yeah, the time's not right. That's. okay. And don't take it personally. Go. out and find another one, right? Make a. list of 10 people that you'd love to. mentor and start reaching out. >> Yeah. I mean, again, take action. Because I'm like, "Oh Kim, I need a. mentor." It's like, "Okay. Well, show up.
and ask." I mean, the reason I have some. of these amazing people that I mentor is. because they just asked. >> Yes. Like Yeah. Asking for help is so. hard and people don't do it because they. feel embarrassed, they don't want to. look stupid, they don't want to show. weakness, but asking for help is the one. thing that will help you exponentially. increase your success. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. And. And sometimes it's small things where. like people don't even ask. Like I had. this So, I was in tour recently and I. was flying Delta.
and one of the air stewards. at the end of her service when we were. about to land, she wrote me this really. beautiful note and had left it near me. because I'd fallen asleep on the flight. And so, when I woke up, I read it. And. they always give you these, I think it's. these little wings from Delta or. something like that on top of it. And. so, I read it and it was really really. sweet. And I said to her when I was walking. out, it's like a full note. Like it was. a real letter and it was very very. sweet.
And I just asked her on the way out. I. was like, "Oh, hey. Like, are you guys. in here Are you in town tonight?" She's. like, "Yeah." And I was like, "Well, why. don't you come to my show?" And she. ended up coming to the show. She had a. great night. Like it was amazing. It was. a town that we had a big Genie presence. in and I'm trying to remember what what. town it was, but what city it was, but. it was just one of those moments where. like it was just a really thoughtful. letter that really affected me and made. I didn't mentor her, but made me want to. reciprocate. And so, I found that. sometimes expressing something really. beautifully and thoughtfully about what.
you're doing and with the mentor like. you who's giving great advice, follow. that up with saying, "Kim, you know you. told me to do this. I did this and this. is what happened. Kim, you know you told. me to do this. I reached out to this. person." Because the mentor needs to. know that you're putting into practice. I think mentors get exhausted when they. feel they're giving you time, they're. giving you advice, they're giving you. insight, but you're not moving. Oh, yeah. I wouldn't mentor you very long. There you go. So, talk to me about that relationship. No, I I think like, you You I'm here to.
give great advice. I don't have a lot of. time. If you're not going to take it, find a different mentor. Yeah. I'm not. the mentor for you. But to be honest, it's that's a you problem, not a me. problem. Yeah. Yeah. >> I'm here to help take you to the next. level. And I want to be able to give my. experience to someone else that I mean. people have been so grateful with their. time for me, and I feel so lucky because. it's been such a gift that I want to. give that and pay that forward. And so, I mean even with the book because I.
don't have enough time to mentor as many. people as I would like to, I do have the. time to write down what I've learned so. other people don't have to make the same. mistakes. Well, I think books are. mentorship for that point. I think. that's a great great point that I feel. in my life some of my best mentors have. been books. >> Yeah, me too. >> believe that. >> gosh. And I think this book's going to. be a great mentor for people who are. making mistakes, who who want to be. successful, and they're like I want to. be coached by, you know, a really. successful entrepreneur. That the book.
is that. >> It is. And I think we undervalue and. underestimate the value you can get from. a book. Oh my gosh. >> I I feel like I've been mentored by some. of my favorite entrepreneurs who either. died before I had the opportunity to. meet them or are people that I haven't. connected with. through books. Well, and especially if. you're young. When I started, I had no. idea what I was doing. So, I would just. read books of old great operators and. actually execute what they said. Like. Jack Welch. I mean he was GE. This is 30.
years ago. You're just looking reading. books and be like, "Okay, I'll I'll do. what this guy says. I mean he must know, right?". >> Yeah. >> And so, my hope is that to be able to. share those experiences so you can say, "Okay, I know what to do when I'm in a. toxic relationship, when I don't, you. know, have the right partner." Like I'm. going to give you tips to get out of. situations that I was in that I wish. someone would have told me, right? Oh my gosh, please help me, Kim. Okay, here's the here's the playbook. I'm. giving you the playbook. Read these 10. and then come back and tell me if you. need more. Yeah. What are you When you.
say don't try to do everything alone, finding a mentor is important, but then. also finding a business partner is. important sometimes, or like co-founders. and connecting. What would you say you. look for in a business partner or a. co-founder? I've learned there are four. pillars that you need, just as a house. has four walls to stand. I think there's. four great pillars that every successful. person that I know needs. And one is a. mentor, two is family and friends, supportive family and friends, right? Three's the team. It doesn't matter if.
you're a solo entrepreneur, it could be. a consultant, could be someone in your. network. And number four is peers. People that are actually in the. day-to-day and can relate, because my. family can't relate to the trials that I. go through every day. But a peer in the. same category, in same business, doesn't. even in the same office, they can relate. to what you're going through. So if you. can find these core tenants, game-changer. And so once I started. putting these people pillars into place. for me, my business took off. But it's.
making space, right? It's It's saying, "I'm too busy. I don't have time." I've. heard it. "I don't have time to do this. game. I'm too busy. I'm too busy." Well, I'm busy, too. >> Yeah. But how do we prioritize people, because that is how we will be able to. grow exponentially. >> Yeah. Yeah, I was actually saying to. someone yesterday that one of the. mistakes I've seen successful people. make. is the only friends they have are people. they pay. or people that have been there from day. one. Mhm. And those are both important. parts. One's your team and one's your.
old school friends. But the peers part is so important, because that's the only person that. understands your current pain. So your. person that you were friends with back. in the day, they understand your. journey. And my best friends are still. my best friends from people I was. friends with 20 years ago. That will always be there. I have a team. that I love. I have great relationships. with, very, very important to me. I. really value and invest in. But the only. person who can truly understand where. I'm at in life is my peer who's doing. the same thing at the same level. And.
what's really interesting is those are. the people you end up competing with. rather than actually collaborating with. >> Right. And I was reading Bob Iger's book. and he was talking about how at one. point in time. and I may get a couple of the names. wrong, but the principle was there. Bob. Iger was saying that at one point. Steven Spielberg, George Lucas, and a couple of other famous directors. of their time used to preview their. movies to each other. Love that. So they. would actually get into a little room, a.
theater room, watch the movie, and ask. for feedback. Yeah, it's the best advice. ever. >> Ever. But that's because they were so. confident that their style was so. different that they didn't feel like. they were competing. Does that make sense? Like the reason. why we're scared to do that today is you. feel like someone will steal your idea. They trusted that these people were so. creative and no one would need to steal. the idea because everyone was a genius. in that room. And so they actually. trusted and respected each other's. ideas. >> that. I love that. And I think if you. can find those peers, that makes such a.
difference because. no one can relate to what you're going. through except for the people already. already going through and they can give. you great advice. Like that advice is, oh, I've just been in that situation. Let me tell you what to do. In a hiring. situation, in a partner situation. So I. don't know if you should have a partner. or not. I mean, that's a personal like. values-based question, but having other. people to. collaborate on the highs and lows and. kind of behind the scenes, right? Because your team you can't if things go. wrong, you can't tell your team some of. the things you would tell a peer. You.
need to. You're going to tell them one thing as a. leader. Then you can tell your peers. like, oh my gosh, it's crazy out there. Yeah. Yeah. One of the One of the. mistakes you talk about is this idea of. like having a toxic inner circle. >> Mhm. Like you got to get rid of that. And so you say that one of the mistakes. is keeping toxic relationships in your. inner circle. I want to ask you, what's your take on starting a business. with a family member? It's hard. But I think anything could work as long. as you have very clear roles and.
responsibilities. Right? You know what. you do, I know what I do. I mean, think. about you and Roddy. Obviously, husband. and wife. I actually seen it work really. well if everyone knows their strength. The problem it doesn't work well is if. you want to do what I want to do and you. think you could do it better. Yeah. >> And you're like, "Okay, this is never. going to work out, right?" Yeah. >> You need to trust that you will be in. charge of this, I will be in charge of. this, and division of responsibilities. Like, that's number one. So, actually, I. I love family businesses because I like. legacy and I like the I mean, in the.
best case scenario, my children will. work with me, so I hope. That would be. like the joy of Yeah. It would be so. cute, right? They're five, so I don't. know. We got some time. I'm thinking. ahead. But yes, but that would be the. ultimate gift for me is to have. something that I could leave to my. children. However, it's really important. to, you know, not impose what you think. should be done. You really have to have. trust Yeah. in how you It partnership's. hard, right? So hard. So, I think uh.
partnerships are really hard, but. trusting that the other person will. always act in your best interest, that. they always will do what, you know, you're you have the same values. I think. values are really important because you. know where you're coming from all the. time. And whether you have a partnership or. not, but I do believe it's so much more. fun to do it together. >> Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. I having started. my my kitchen table alone, it's so. lonely. Like, entrepreneurship is so. lonely. I'm now at the other side where. I I never want to do it alone. I want to.
do it with a team where you can share. the joy and the fun and the challenges. and the disappointments. Like, you're. just not alone, right? >> Yeah. I've had a lot of friends who've. like. built a business with a friend or a. family member and then it's gone toxic. or difficult. Have you found any great. mentorship or insight on how to. disconnect from that relationship once. it's gone bad? That's in the healthiest. way possible. Yes, I mean, I've had a. lot of toxic relationships over time, and sometimes you don't even know. because they don't start toxic, right? They start as friends, and then over.
time they go really badly, and then. you're in this relationship, and you. don't know how to get out. But, what I. look to do is really annually I I audit. my inner circle. Mhm. Religiously. >> Tell us about that. >> Right? So, every year I look at all the. people in my business, all the people in. my personal life that I'm spending time. with, and if they energize and inspire. me and encourage me to achieve my. dreams, like I put a plus. Very simple. This is a very simple exercise. If they.
are negative, critical, tell me why it's. not going to work, I put a minus, and. then I actively audit them out. No, it seems mean. You know, people are. like, "What about my family?" I know. I. get it. But, if you want to achieve. great things, you will not be able to do. it with toxic people around you. They. will drag you down. Yeah, it's so true. Like, it's. >> And it's hard because people go, "How do. I cut out my family? How do I leave the people that I live. with?". In one sense. Yeah, I I. Yeah, it's hard. But, it's also about.
balance, right? So, I understand that I. mean, that's an internal struggle that I. can't help with. >> Yeah. How do you You know, my advice is about. balance. So, if you are in a situation. where you can't leave your parents, obviously, but you can minimize the time that. you're spending with them, right? Because those thoughts that they're. putting in your head, you know, once you. leave, and this is what happened to me. when I was in a very toxic relationship, you think about it. Over It consumes. you, right? And then it seeps into every. part of your life, your business part, your personal life, and you have to.
eventually audit it out in order to be. able to move forward, in order to grow. And it's seems very harsh, but honestly, game-changer. Talk to me about the. connection. between toxic relationships in your life. and money. How do the two connect? If you have. toxic relationships, likely you're not. going to have a lot of money. >> Yeah, why? How how talk to me about that. connection and how you've seen it. transpire? I think that. having been in some toxic relationships,
they're not looking out for your best. interest. And if you want to live to. your highest and best use and your. greatest potential, you can't afford to. have people that are draining your. energy because you need that in order to. create and ideate and innovate and. build. So, the more you have pressures. that are dragging you down, the less. likely you will be to be successful. Mhm. Unfortunately, I mean, it's just. truth, right? And so, I really look hard. at who I spend time with.
And surrounding myself with people that. love me, Mhm. want to see the best for. me, believe in me. It doesn't mean they. can't challenge me, which is great. But, I don't want to be with someone that's. going to tell me why. my dreams aren't going to work. >> Yeah. Like, >> Yeah. that's not going to work because. likelihood, I mean, you have to be so. confident in your dreams that having. other people talk in your ear all time, terrible, right? >> Yeah, yeah. Unless they have. constructive, thoughtful insight. Yeah, if it's love, it it doesn't work. And.
and and I think that's spot on. I think. I love what you said. There's two sides. to it. The one side is you've got to. limit your time with them as well. It's. agency because. we can't blame our lack of success on. the people around us because then we're. not taking responsibility and agency for. the change we can make. And I will say. to people, for every one negative person. in your life, find three positive people. because you have the percentage. Now, 25% of your life is spent with negative. people, but 75% of your life is. surrounded by positive energy. And you.
can do that today. there's so many clubs. and events and communities all around. just dotted everywhere like. entrepreneurial societies just popping. up everywhere because all entrepreneurs. are looking for community because 99% of. them didn't have family support because. they had a crazy idea or they took a. risk or whatever it may have been. So, you're not alone. There's going to be. other people like you in the community. who are looking for that as well. Right, and reaching out and being proactive, right? And it goes back to asking for. help and being vulnerable and saying you.
don't know everything. Like who wants to. be with someone that knows everything, right? And usually the toxic people are. self-imposing their limiting beliefs on. you. They're telling you it's not going. to work, you can't do it because that's. what they think, not what you think. >> Yeah. >> And so it's trying to make sure that is. this what they think or is what I think? And it's hard if they keep telling you. what they think. It's It becomes noisy. in your head, right? >> Yeah, and it's what they think because. someone told them that. >> Right. So, you got to stop the pattern. >> Exactly. You got to stop the pattern for. your family, for your for your for your.
>> your children, right? >> Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. And people. forget too. They try and you know, I. remember having this conversation with. my mom cuz she left she had to leave her. country when she was 16 years old and. moved to England. And when I was moving. to America at 28, she was like, "Oh my god, I can't. believe like you're moving like full on. like to another country and you know, all the rest of it." I was like, "Mom, you did it when you were 16.". >> Yeah. Oh my gosh. Go, Mom. You did it. when you were 16. And she did the same. when I was becoming a monk at 22. She. was like, "You're going to India and.
you're going to be away and like, you. know." And I was like, "Mom, you moved. when you were 16.". Like to a country with no education, no. money, and you figured it out. Like, you. know. And it's And it was so amazing to. see that like mom's protective love. Like I know it came from a place of. love, but it was like. "But Mom, you had did something way. harder than I'm doing." Yeah, she's. trying to protect you. It's so cute, right? >> It's a mom's love, but it's really. interesting because it's. counterintuitive to the fact that she. had to do it. >> Right. >> She had to leave her parents to build a.
life for them and, you know, all the. rest of it. be able to provide for her family, but. we we forget that. And so, sometimes we. pass down even though we lived a really. difficult, challenging life, we pass. down insecurity to our kids. >> Right. Oh, yeah, for sure. >> down freedom. Yeah. >> Which is a really fascinating thing. It's interesting, right? >> You know what I mean? Like In your it's. Cuz you want to pass down security that. you didn't have. >> Not realizing that it was the. same thing that gave you the capacity.
and the intensity Right. >> a resilient Like when you said people. got to have resilience and grit, you. don't get resilience and grit by. everything going your way. You get. resilience and grit by being knocked. down, things being hard and difficult. Like, you know, that's what it takes to. build muscle. So, it's funny how we. try and make everything easy for. everyone else. Even with my own. children, making sure that. I mean, their life, obviously, is not I. grew up on. I mean, we were like trying. to pay the bills and go have heat. You. know, they obviously don't have the same.
challenges, but how do we instill the. same work ethic in them? That's what I'm. thinking all the time. I mean, it's just. like a struggle in my own mind. Like, what do I need to do? How do I like like. everything in our family is just looking. at how do we instill and passion, right? Like, we want them to have passion about. what they do and what they want to. create. So, we have to be very. thoughtful and mindful about not. self-projecting. how we grew up. Yeah, definitely. Definitely. >> Kim, how many people have you hired in. your lifetime? Oh, thousands.
>> Yeah. Thousands. >> Thousands. Thousands, yes. The last. company I ran had over a thousand. employees. I mean, I have thousands. And. how many of them did you personally. interview, look at resumes, and actually. get that deeply with? >> Uh, I mean, over 20 years, probably. at least over 500, maybe more. >> When you manage people, how did you set. up your teams? Like, how How. people maximum do you personally lead. and manage? Did you find a sweet spot? >> Yeah, usually anything over eight was I. mean, if you have a thousand people. globally or anything over eight starts.
to get very difficult. Why did you find. eight manageable? >> I don't know, just because I could at. least have one-on-ones with them. I. could spend time with them. I could. still have the personal connection to. make sure that that they had knew the. vision, they knew I cared, and then it. was and usually it was cuz we had. offices all around the world, so usually. those eight were actually. distributed. So I had a country manager. in Tel Aviv, one in Australia, so. depending on what the function was, but. eight was where the sweet spot for me. I. think some people can manage a lot more,
but in order to really scale like a. billion dollars on annual basis, that. was where I found I was like. perfect. Wow. Yeah, that makes a lot of. sense. I think that's fair and when you. think about you only have seven days a. week and you only have five work days. Right. >> If you're managing more than one person. a day, It's very hard. >> hard. >> Yeah. And so eight is, you know, at that. like one. >> Probably the max, right? Some people. would say like six is probably the best. The challenge is when you build from the. ground up, everyone wants to report to. you, so it becomes emotional, too, when.
there's other factors that aren't just. black and white, that aren't as easy as, "Okay, it's six and we're just going to. do that." It's like, "Well, you just. have to you have to be agile with the. circumstance, right?" And it it makes a. difference and you want to keep people. motivated and. and especially I mean, I've acquired a. lot of companies, and when you acquire. companies, they don't want to be put under layers. of people. Like there's different. challenges with every phase of a. business. So the reason I asked you that. is because I actually have four resumes. here. >> to hire someone? and I want you to tell.
me who we should be hiring. >> Okay, okay, I love it, love it. >> So I'm going to hand you these. You can. take a second to look through them. >> the position? These are all for. different roles. >> Okay. And one's for a creative director, one's a product manager, one's a. marketing specialist, one's an. operations manager. So they're not. competing. >> Okay. But I want you to be able to look. through them and tell me what you think. is good and bad because a lot of what we. heard from our audience was that Jem, I'm applying to 400 companies and I feel. like I'm ending up on a stack that never. gets looked at. I don't know how to.
stand out. Tell us what's standing out and what's. not standing out. Say I post a job on. LinkedIn. I get 3,000 resumes. No way a. hiring manager anyone can go through. them. If you want to stand out and you. want that job, you better find the. hiring manager, DM them, send them a. letter. I don't care how you get a hold. of them and tell them how bad you want. that job. Because most people just send. in the resume and hope someone's going. to call them. Nobody's calling you. If. you really want that job, you will find.
the hiring person and get in there. So, dare to be different. I think that goes. with the guy that you said earlier that. just started making content. >> Yeah. You have to be proactive. So, forget just the resumes. No one's going. to look through three I literally will. not look through 3,000 resumes. I mean, maybe the hiring manager will somewhere, but. >> No, it's the truth. Or find a contact of. someone that you know that's in the. company. You know, I think statistically. so many more hires are done by. referrals, right? So, who can refer you. in? But I'm going to look at the resumes.
just so I can see. >> Yeah. Yeah. Take a look at what what. what you like and what you don't like. Okay, they all look very good. But the. one I'm going to hire is the product. manager for growth. Why? >> I'll tell you why. Because they tell me. in the resume that they did 120%. year-over-year user growth. They. increased adoption by 35 They gave me. data that supported the job that I want. to hire them for. I mean, honestly, they. launched analytics feature resulting in. 2.3 million in the first year. Everything is data-driven and I like.
that. I I mean, it they are product. manager of growth. They're going to. track the growth. Amazing. 6 years, 12. years, none of it actually matters to. me. I mean, honestly, like great, you. have experience, but I want to know what. you you are doing right now. Yeah. >> So, I like that. I like that. >> the claim up. You can't just be like, "I'm a marketing specialist with 6 years. experience." But, it's like, tell me. >> that you actually Tell me what you did. differently and how you grew the. company. But, the biggest. thing I would also do, and this is what. I regret and huge mistake, is you know,
you overlook it. I I call it the POP. They She looks perfect on paper, right? Amazing. You know how many people I've. hired that look perfect on paper and. then are dis- daster once they get in? Oh my gosh, so many. So, the one thing. that I mean, I talk about in the book. First, I have specific interview. questions that I ask. >> Tell us some of your favorite ones. Okay, so one would be, in 3 months, what would I learn now that I will not. learn during this interview process. about you?
Cuz I I don't know. I mean, you only. have so much time. Yeah. What would your. last hiring manager tell me that the. they would want to change about you? And like And then, what would your peers. want to change? I want to know things. that are challenging, so I know if I'm. going to be able to live with them. And what you need to change about. people, what they need to change, and. are they self-aware? Yeah. And then, living or dead, who do you. most admire? Because usually it's a reflection of who.
they want to become. And so, I want to know who they admire. because is that the type of person that. I want to have in the company or not? >> Right? And so, all of these little. specific things that I've learned along. the way because so many people look. great on paper, just like online dating. They look so good, and then you get in, and you're like, "Oh my gosh, you're. terrible." You know, just because you. have 20 years doesn't make a difference. What do you do in the last year? >> Yeah. Right? Well, I haven't been. working for 2 years. That's I mean, that's okay, too, but I want to know. that. Yeah. And then, referrals. If. you're hiring someone, we always skip.
and I Oh, the resume looks great. I. don't need to do Oh, so not referrals, references. We look at hiring someone, we think, "Oh, they look amazing on. paper. I don't need to do the. references." Oh my gosh, huge mistake. Please call the references. Usually they. can't say anything anyway, but if it's a. really good and they really like the. person, they'll tell you. >> Right? They're just not going to tell. you if they don't like the person. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll get a sign. >> Yeah, you'll get a sign. You get a gut. feeling of I can't tell you talk to you. about Kim.
But that's the thing, you want to get a. 360° view, the person in person, the. person on paper, the person through. another person's lens. It's not good. enough to just look at one thing and I I. loved your advice by the way, I fully. agree with you. I don't think I've ever. got a job or a partnership or. invested in a company or had a company. invest in me in any way when it wasn't. personal. Right? And that's one of your. biggest mistakes that you talk about, which is believing that business isn't. personal. You say business is always. personal. >> Always. And and that comes down to this.
point because it's so easy to think, "Oh. no, but there's a system and there's. rules to apply and no, it's personal.". >> It's always personal. If you call me and. say, "Kim, I have a great candidate.". The probability that I take the. interview is so high. And if you say, "Kim, I've got a great investment." I. will also take that. Everything is. personal. If you're vouching for them or. I'm vouching for them, that means a lot, right? >> And that that's a really important one. Anything you want to add to this? I. mean, no. I like who I mean, I'd be an.
interesting to see who you hire here. Thank you so much. >> get it's not on these resumes. If I have. to vet it's someone else. Somehow they. get through the system. Somehow they go. around, they go up, they go down. I. don't know, but it's not someone that's. coming in through 3,000 people that you. can't find. Yeah, it's a great point. It's a truly great point. I I I love it. and and I hope it encourages anyone. who's feeling stuck and lost right now. and feeling like your resume is not. being looked at, it's not because you're. not good enough. It's got It's actually. not a reflection of your resume or your. skills, it's a reflection of the fact.
that people hire people they know or. people that know people they know and in. some way differentiating yourself that. makes you stand out. >> Right. Yes. And finding a connection. point. I love a personal connection. point. I'm a much more likely to. to talk to you if you went to my It's. like there's a there's a bias that you. just have. You're from my hometown. You. went to my school. You like my favorite. sports team. Start going through your. birthdays in March like mine. Yay, me. too. We're Pisces. Whatever that.
connection point that you can find and. make it personal, ground it in personal. connection, the likelihood you will be. successful is far greater. Yeah, I would. always reach out to when I was applying. for jobs initially, I would always reach. out to alumnus of my university who are. at the company that I'd like to be at. because they're just three years ahead. of me or five years ahead of me and I'm. like, "Hey, you went to the same school. as me. I'd love to follow in your. footsteps. 15-minute coffee or like. tea?" Right? Can I hang with you for 15. minutes? If you can't, I'd love an intro.
at the company. And all of a sudden, you've just skipped those 3,000 resumes. that are sitting there and you're right. at the top of the pile. The biggest. mistake people make is not asking. I did. that. When I wanted to go to college, I. wanted to go to Duke and I had a family. friend that had gone there. He was. alumni. I didn't ask him to make write me a. recommendation because I just felt I was. wasting his time. What a mistake. I. didn't leverage the. the assets I had. Obviously, I didn't. get in.
And I went to Pepperdine. But. regardless, if I would have asked for help, if I. would have asked someone for the job. referral, for the contact, people want. to help. I think it's our own internal. voices telling ourselves that people. don't want to help. So, this might be. uncomfortable, but I think it's. important to say. So, someone will sometimes present me an. opportunity, but they'll present it in a way that's. trying to make it out like it's mutually. beneficial, but really it's just. beneficial to them. And now it's not an ask, it's a.
presentation. Whereas if that person. would have just asked and said, "Hey Jay, it would mean the world to me. if you did this.". It's going to be really easy for me to. say yes, because I want to help. But I. don't want to make be made to feel like. this is some mutually beneficial thing. when it isn't. And I just want to be clear on that. And. that happened to me yesterday with. someone and I. I don't have the relationship with them. to tell them that, but I was just. thinking about that. I was like, "No, be. humble enough to ask." And it's. something I've loved watching you do,
you know, building a beverage company. with us and everything. Like I see you. in every room. You're always happy to be. the person who asks the most ridiculous. question or the hardest question despite. being such a successful entrepreneur. And it's what makes you so successful. because you're humble enough to ask the. question. And people are willing to help. you. I've seen it. We've had buyers, we've had investors, we've had friends, we've had board members who are willing. to help you and me because we both are. okay being like we don't know. Like I. don't walk into beverage as a.
an industry and go, "Oh, because I am. really good at doing podcasting, that. means I'm I really know what beverage is. all about." It's like I don't have a. clue. And and I'm okay with that. Like. that's not a weakness, that's my. strength because I'm willing to ask. questions that I don't want. And so I. think sometimes having humility in the. ask is actually more endearing and. attractive than trying to make it look. like a proposition that feels like it's. >> Does that make sense? I don't know if. that's landing, yeah. >> It goes to mentorship, too, right? Because. I and I ask we ask people all the time.
cuz we have no idea, right? We're asking. our way to success over and over again. We're asking for the intro and someone. people could say no. And people sends can say yes, but at. least we asked. And just if you only. take one thing away, just start asking. Again, what's the downside? You're I. don't want to get rejected. Again, it. doesn't matter. How are you going to. move forward if you don't put yourself. in a position that actually makes you. uncomfortable? Yeah, it's it's something. you really live by and I watch you do. all the time and it's always so.
impressive to see someone so successful. do that because. and and I and I think it's actually a. trait of very successful people. They're. very happy. to know what they know and not know what. they don't know. Right. >> And and they're not trying to and and I. think sometimes when we're on the. come up, we we feel we have to pretend. like we know stuff. in order to make sure that we don't look. stupid and then you end up looking. stupid in the process. Right. You don't. want to show weakness, but the reality. is I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm.
learning along the way and I'm smart and. I can pick it up very quickly, but I. actually have to tell you that I've no. idea what I'm doing. >> Yeah, yeah. And that's the important. part. You're smart and you pick things. up quickly. That's really important. You. know, one of the biggest mistakes and. this is the last one I want to talk. about. There's 10 in the book that Kim. tells personal stories, shares insights. Like she said the interview questions. you should ask. Like the book is packed. with so much great advice and I want you. to really think about the mistakes that. she's sharing, but we all feel like.
we're not qualified and I think women. Mhm. statistically feel more unqualified. than men and you write about this and. talk about this. >> Talk to us about that because I think. that's sometimes what trips us up so. much. I spent a long time believing I. was under-qualified and honestly it. stemmed back to. my childhood because I was told I wasn't. the smart one and I was told that I was. the dummy of the family and I mean that. those words haunt you, right? And so you. create these labels that you take with.
you which are not true. and it makes you second-guess yourself. all the time. Am I supposed to be in. this room? Am I supposed to Am I Am I. able to be a CEO of a tech company even. though I don't know how to code? Am I. able to be a CEO of a beverage brand. even though I have no idea what I'm. doing. But, I feel that in my own. career, believing I was under-qualified. limited my ability to grow. So, you know, I was asked to be on a board. seat. I said no. Why? Because I believed.
I was under-qualified. What a mistake I. made because that was an amazing. opportunity for growth, for intellectual. understanding of how corporate boards. work. And later, I met the person that. asked me and said, "Why didn't you take. this board seat?" I made up some excuse. why I couldn't. I'm too busy, you know, some excuse that normally. I shouldn't have done. I said, "At least I didn't think I had. the experience. It's a lot of MBAs and. people that have been VCs." And they. said, "Your. experience as a CEO is exactly why we.
wanted you to be on the board." But, I. made up these excuses in my head why I. was not qualified enough. And after that. happened, I said I would never do that. again. I would just say yes and figure. it out. So, the next time someone asked. me to be on a board, obviously I said. yes, but you have to overcome those. limiting beliefs that you are not. qualified enough. And yeah, women especially, right? We. just don't think we we think we need. more experience, we think we need. another degree, we think we need a. better pitch. I mean, I love to invest.
in women startups. I don't even see a. lot of them because. the guys will come pitch with their deck. at 70%. The women that I see, they've. perfected that deck. It looks amazing. And I unfortunately, I don't want it to look amazing. I want. I know your business is going to change. So, come. Like, just put yourself out. there, right? Like, you got to just put. yourself out there. Be okay getting. rejected, even if you think you're. under-qualified. Doesn't matter, do it. anyway. You'll figure it out along the. way. Mhm. And so, learning that for me.
was a huge learning lesson. And I talk about how do I overcome that? How do I start believing and gain the. confidence that I am not. under-qualified. I'm just learning along. the way. Yeah, absolutely. It's such an. empowering message to hear. Kim, is. there anything I haven't asked you today. that you wish I did or any story that. you wanted to share that I haven't. brought out of you? I think the only one. that maybe is just how important. pivoting is to a business. >> Mhm. Or relationship or anything you're.
doing. And how Listen, 90% of businesses pivot. I've invested over 100 companies. Probably one hasn't pivoted the business. model. One. Okay, so. if you're out there with an idea or a. business or plan. and you're stuck in the plan and you put. your head in the sand you say, "Market. changing and I'm not going I'm just. going to keep doing the same thing.". That's a mistake. Because if you look at. the most successful companies, YouTube.
started as a dating site, Twitter. podcast platform, Shopify started as. selling snowboards. I mean, every single. company has pivoted. So, you just have. to have the courage to start. I mean, look at Judy, right? >> Yeah. Yeah. We pivoted. So many times. So many times. And we'll keep pivoting. because that's what successful people. do. So, give yourself permission to. pivot. I think I talk about this a lot. Failing to pivot is a such a huge. mistake. And recognizing when to pivot. and when to not. I mean, that's a that's.
a whole we I talk about that as well and. it's important to know that. But just. knowing that it's okay to make change. Right? Just. >> staying the course. We've learned this. so many times and we'll continue to make. mistakes. We'll continue to pivot. We'll. continue to change course and that is. what will make us successful. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I mean, we've. done it with Juni. You do it in every business. I mean, when I started I used to make Facebook. videos. Right. And no one today would. ever say, "Jay, you make Facebook. videos." Like we you know, we just don't.
do that. You look at companies like. Netflix and we both know Mark Randolph. and he talks about how they were a DVD. company. Right. >> Like they used to mail DVDs. I know Mark. wrote the forward to my book because he. can relate so much to how. was how many mistakes they made, right? On the rise of Netflix and look, yeah, they started mail-order DVDs, now. they're streaming company. Yeah. That's. an insane pivot. >> Totally. It's it's so different. They're. producing films now. They have their own. original slate. They you know, it's it's.
unbelievable and that is the biggest. thing everyone out there who's worrying. about having the perfect business plan. is that actually you just got to believe. in something that you want to commit. your life to or commit the next couple. of decades to. in the area of what you're trying to do. Like, you know, they were trying to. entertain and provide home entertainment. and Netflix sending DVDs and being the. platform it is today is still home. entertainment. And so if you have a goal. and a vision of how you trying to help. and change the world, like ours with.
Juni's we want people to have healthy. habits. We want people to have healthy. options. We want people to have. happiness in their life. We want them to. have a happy mind. >> Yes. And so if we want them to have. that, that could mean so many different. things. It's you know, it's bad when you. just go, "Well, no, my only purpose is. to build this one thing." Right. >> "Well, no, I'm I'm standing for more.". Talk to us about that of. when you. need to pivot and when you know you need. to pivot and when you shouldn't. How how. do you get that balance right? I think.
you need to know if you have product. market fit. So people are willing to buy. the product, you're in a great place. The way you. know if you need to pivot is are your. sales declining or no sales at all. I. mean, it's a revenue sign, right? Or it. are your sales dropping? Okay, well, that's not a good sign. You. have to look outside and think, "Okay, the market's changing, the customer's. Something's changing and I have to find. an area that I think I can win in." And. be bold enough to be able to try it,
right? Like I'm not saying overnight. pivot your entire business, but you have. to be able to start and try and test and. learn and adapt. And I think today in. the age of AI, so many things I mean. this isn't just pivoting businesses. This is pivoting. how you think in your mind, right? Because AI is coming. So you need to. develop an agile mind, flexible mind. that when something happens, which is. going to do. I don't know what's going. to happen, but your mentality is that to.
adapt with it. And that will be the game-changer for so. many people. But if you're just trying. to put your head in the sand like I'm. just going to do this. You will this. will not end well. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, no and again it comes back to that. data point of what you're measuring. Because if you're not looking at what. customers are saying, it's not if it's. always about how you feel. after you do it or after you built it, it doesn't really make a difference. So. it has to go back down to that. No, I.
love that. Kim, we. end every episode of On Purpose with a. final five. These questions have to be. answered in one word to one sentence. maximum. So Kim Perales, these are your final. five. The first question is what is the. best business or entrepreneurship advice. you've ever heard or received? No one is. successful alone. It's great great. answer. Question number two, what is the. worst entrepreneurship advice you've. ever heard or received? The worst advice. that I've received is that you need a.
lot of capital to start a business. And. you don't? No. I started at my kitchen table. No. Yeah. How much did you start with? My grandma. gave me a $10,000 loan. And that's what. it took? That's what it took to build a. $100 million company. That's incredible. That's truly incredible. If I can do it, so can anyone else listening out there. You just have to have the courage Yeah. To do it regardless of circumstance, regardless of everyone telling you you.
can't. I was blessed to have my nanny. who bet on me and that's why I pay it. forward and that's why I invest in. others and I acknowledge that it was. amazing gift, but you do not need a lot. of capital to start, especially today. I. think a lot of people feel like it's. hard cuz they're like well, I don't know. how to code. Code is cost a lot of money. or I want to build an app or I want to. build something with AI and I don't, you. know, obviously to be able to do that. So, how how do you get your head around. that? Like, what does that take? I This. is where you need You're not going to be. able to do it alone. Yeah, you're going. to have to find someone. You're going to. have to find someone to partner with. For me, once I got out of the mindset of.
I'm a lone wolf, I'm going to build this. and I hired and partnered with the CTO. and I had had a sales like you have to. find people that complement your. weaknesses. and and your strengths, right? And. that's where the game changes. You're. not going to be able to build If you're. not a coder, you have to find someone, a. partner that can, right? I can't start a. tech company and not be a CTO. Yeah, that makes sense. Uh question number. three, what's something you used to. believe to be true about. entrepreneurship, but it's not true.
anymore? I used to believe that skills. beat passion. Mhm. And now as an entrepreneur. passion beats skill. You can learn. skills. You cannot That passion is. >> That's so good. You are the most. passionate person I know, for sure. And. that will drive you to success. regardless of circumstance. >> I You know what? I couldn't agree more. That's such a great I'm so glad you said. that. >> Yeah. Well, that one that's a great one. because. I used to also hire people based on. skills and now I hire people who are.
passionate and coachable Right. >> more than skills because You can learn. the skills, right? Skills are always. changing, too, like AI is changing what. skills are needed. Like, half the skills. we'll just get AI to do. So, what I need. is a passionate person who's coachable, who wants to learn and be adaptable. You're so right. Great answer. Really, really great answer. I love that. question. When it When you get the. answer for it, it's like you find so. Yeah, no, it's such a good one cuz I. feel like yeah, for years I used to just. hire people based on skills and then you. either find out they're lying about the. skills or they don't really have the. skills or they have the skills, but then.
they're not passionate to learn other. skills, which you always need. You can't. train passion. >> train passion. Yeah. You can't Okay, so. that's a question. Question number four. Why can't we train passion? Where Where. does passion come from? Where What is. that? That's a great point. Even if. there's not a question in there, it's a. great point. I think everyone has. different passions. So, it's just making. sure that. when you're hiring someone, they're. passionate about your vision. Mhm. Because that passion will push you. through. Mhm. And I think that's most.
important as an entrepreneur. That is. what's going to keep you going after. everyone else is going to give up. >> Yeah. Right? And so, that passion is. that red thread regardless of. circumstances going to that's going to. to put you and keep you going. Yeah, I. love that. Uh fifth and final question. we ask just to every guest who's ever. been on the show, if you could create. one law that everyone in the world had. to follow, what would it be? I would say. to be generous on every occasion. It's a. nice one to. to let settle. It almost feels like.
we're at the opposite where we're always. so scarce with our energy, our time, uh. because everyone's struggling. It's. hard. It's hard. >> Right. Everyone, the book is called Mistakes. That Made Me a Millionaire, How to. Transform Setbacks into extraordinary. success. Kim Perell, go and grab your. copy right now. Like I said, the book is. in the comment section. You can go and. order it right now. It's available. I am. such a fan of Kim as a human, such a fan.
of Kim as a business person, and I truly. believe that this is the mentor that. you've been looking for that's going to. help you get over those mistakes and. those hurdles in your mind that keep. coming up, whether it's the noise in. your head, the noise from outside, the. noise from family and friends. This. book's going to help you overcome that. Go and grab your copy right now, you. won't regret it. Uh Kim, thank you so. much for tuning in and being here and. just opening your heart and sharing your. mind and insights. It's always such a. joy to be with you and I'm always uh I.
you are the person that I think of as. having the most and the best energy all. the time. And so, I'm so glad that the. world's going to get to experience it. through this beautiful book. So, thank. you for writing it. Thank you for. dedicating 2 years of your life of. putting in all two decades worth of. insight into it. So, thank you so much. >> Aw, thank you so much for having me. Thank you so much for listening to this. conversation. If you enjoyed it, you'll. love my chat with Adam Grant on why. discomfort is the key to growth and the.
strategies for unlocking your hidden. potential. If you know you want to be. more and achieve more this year, go. check it out right now. You set a goal. today, you achieve it in 6 months, and. then by the time it happens, it's almost. a relief. There's no sense of meaning. and purpose. You sort of expected it and. you would have been disappointed if it. didn't happen.
