The Happiness Expert: Don't Fall For This TRAP! How To Live A Purposeful Life | Robin Sharma

What's the point of climbing this. mountain that the world says we should. climb in order to be successful and. happy and realize at the end of a. career, at the end of a life, we've. climbed the wrong mountain. International best-selling author. 20 million plus copies sold. One of the world's top leadership. experts, Robin Sharma. I've mentored a. lot of super rich people and money is. all they have. How does one balance. ambition without attachment?

Hey everyone, I've got some huge news to. share with you. In the last 90 days, 79.4%. of our audience came from viewers and. listeners that are not subscribed to. this channel. There's research that. shows that if you want to create a. habit, make it easy to access. By. hitting the subscribe button, you're. creating a habit of learning how to be. happier, healthier, and more healed. This would also mean the absolute world. to me and help us make better, bigger,

brighter content for you and the world. Subscribe right now. The number one. health and wellness podcast Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty The one, the only Jay Shetty. When we talk about living a rich life, when we talk about living a full life, it's a really interesting conversation. because I think all of us have grown up. with definitions of what a good life. looks like. And obviously in the book. you break down the eight hidden. habits as you call them of of the areas.

that matter, but you you have so many. amazing chapters in it that they're. diving the depths of it. And the one. first one that resonated with me. was don't be a resentment collector. And when I looked at that chapter, I was. thinking about people I know in my life, I was thinking about people I speak to, and I realized that actually it's very. easy because life can be hard, because. life can be challenging, to collect our. resentments, to place them on a wall almost as art,

and to refer to them and talk about them. and find validation and value through. them. What's a resentment that you've seen. people carry around for the longest. period of time? Well, so you said a lot. of interesting things in there. And the. first the first thing is there has been. a cultural hypnosis, Jay, that you are. rich when you have a lot of money. You're rich when you have a big stock. portfolio. You're rich when you get to. the top of the financial mountain. And.

for 15-plus years, this is. something I've experienced mentoring. billionaires, sports superstars, CEOs, movement makers. A lot of these people, sadly, are cash. rich and their life poor. And so what's the point of climbing this. mountain that the world says we should. climb in order to be successful and. happy, and realize at the end of a career, the. end of life, we've climbed the wrong. mountain. So this book is based around, as you know, the eight forms of wealth. Now, I want to be really clear, money is.

one of the forms of wealth. Money puts. food on the family table. It gives us. freedom. It allows us to do great things. for people in need. Having said that, there's seven other forms of wealth. The. first form of wealth. is growth. We were talking about that. before we started. To be in hot pursuit of your finest self. is a form of wealth. To spend your days doing a little bit of. work on yourself so you know more of. your gifts and your talents, so you. build wisdom,

so you build wonder, so you build. bravery is a form of wealth. And so in that first section, there's 25. chapters. One of them is don't be a. resentment collector. And I really do. think that a lot of us go through life. and people hurt us, and rather than. process through it and metabolize the. hurt, and use pain as a purifier, we swallow it and we allow it to build. up and it creates what I call in the. book a resentment stack. And it's that.

old idea, you know, heal what hurt you so you don't go out. there and bleed on people who didn't cut. you. And so moving through as, you know, entrepreneurs don't really talk about. forgiveness and athletes usually don't, but if we move through the forgiveness. and let the people who've hurt us off of. our backs, we build intimacy with our creativity, we get to know ourselves, energy rises, wellness rises, and and we just become more of the. people we're meant to be. Mhm. I find.

often, don't you feel this, that. humans oscillate between extremes. So often we have a culture that. idealizes money. and then we sometimes develop a mindset. that demonizes money. We have a culture. that may idealize fame and then we. demonize fame. We idealize success and. then we demonize success. And we're not great at finding. the neutralized, the purified version,

which. not only are we deeply seeking, but. seems to be the healthiest place to. land. And so you spoke about, and I was. very happy to see that money is one of. the forms of wealth and you're just. expanding that there are seven others. But I find that often when people hear. like and and I think I I've been very. clear that I've never. talked about how money doesn't buy. happiness because I think money is a. really powerful energy and powerful.

resource, which you of course talk about. in this book as well. But why do you. think or how do we stop ourselves. from. idealizing and then oscillating to. demonizing and what is the middle path? Like what is that perspective that we. need to develop. That's a beautiful question. Allow money. to be your servant, not your master. And. it's that old proverb, be in the world. but not of the world. So, be in the. world, make money. There's 25 chapters. on how the billionaires do it. Make.

money, have nice things, go through. life, treat yourself, treat your family. Having said that, don't identify with. your wealth, your financial wealth. A. lot of people, they their self-identity. is determined by their net worth. Makes. me think of Jim Carrey. We're in the. land of films and movie stars right. here. And he said, you know, I wish. everyone could be rich and famous to. realize it doesn't make a difference. And so, it's almost as if we're going. through life, we all have holes within.

us, and we're looking for outer things to. fill the holes. And I guess what I would. humbly suggest is nothing on the outside. will ever fill the holes we're trying to. fill on the inside. So, have the nice. car, have the nice house, take the great. vacations, but don't be defined by those. And don't. think those things are going to somehow. make you wake up one Friday morning. feeling fantastic. And that's where the. other seven forms of wealth come in.

Money is one of the forms of wealth, but. there are seven others. For example, growth, wellness, family, craft. And. those kinds of things, as we pursue. them, I mean, I for example, number form. of wealth number three, family. I've mentored a lot of super rich. people, and money is all they have. I know, I've been to places where I. remember one in particular, I write. about it. I was asked to. attend. an assignment to mentor someone. Most. beautiful house I've ever seen. I walked.

by his art collection, walked by his car. collection indoors, walked by his book collection, went to a. subterranean passage, smelled cigar, finally got to the room where the titan. of industry was. and we talked for two hours. And through the conversation, I asked. him, I said, you know, "So, who do you. share all this with? Must be amazing. You must be able to do. anything with the people you love.". And there was just a long long silence.

And he has no family and they won't talk. to him. He's all alone. And so, what's the point of having the. beautiful house and all the nice things. if you don't have someone to share with. it with, you know? I was. um recently with my parents. My dad will. be 87 in in June. And. the more years I get behind my belt, the. more I realize like family is so. incredibly important. Uh there's a chapter, have three great. friends. Yeah, that's that's on my list.

Right? Not not a thousand or or whatever. digital friends, three great friends. They allow you to be seen and you can be. yourself with and that's what that's a. form of of riches. In that chapter on or. that section on family, there's also. something called the 10,000 dinners. rule. Mhm. And that comes from Ayesha Vardag, one. of the UK's most famous divorce lawyers. And she was asked, you know, "Look, you've seen so many. relationships fall apart. Can you share.

what makes a great relationships?". Number one, she said separate bedrooms. And number two, she said 10,000 dinners. If you can see yourself having 10,000. dinners with someone because looks and. fades, lust might dissolve, but if you. can see yourself having 10,000 dinners. with someone, hold them close because. great love is hard to find. How does one. balance ambition without attachment? Because I feel that the natural course. of events for most of us is we have.

ambition or drive, we then have. achievement, and then that achievement. leads to attachment because our value. becomes our ability to get things or. ability to have achieved. How do you. have but not have the attachment is the. question? I think human beings are built. to progress. I mean, I think we are happiest not when. we're resting. And there's there's. there's a lot in the wealth money can't. buy about recovery, enjoying life, and. all those things. Having said that, I think we are.

happiest when we are materializing our. primal gifts. We are happiest when we. are chasing what I call your project X. We are happiest when we're moving in the. direction of our Mount Everest. That's. So, ambition is not a bad thing. I would say. what's the root of it though? What's. driving you? Are you driving it Is it. driving you from an unhealthy place? Are. you doing it for FFA, fame, fortune, and. applause? Are you doing it because. really deep inside you're.

overcompensating? You don't like. yourself very much. So, you're hoping to. get the applause in the world to make. yourself feel better. But if you are. ambitious. in creating your Taj Mahals or your. Katchur in the Rye or your Moonlight. Sonata because you want to push magic. into the world. If you're doing it because you're in. pursuit of a craft, the fourth form of. wealth, pursuing a craft. If you're doing it because you want to. be of service.

Mahatma Gandhi, I know one of your. heroes as well. He said. to lose yourself in service in others is. to find yourself. So, if that's what's driving you, then I. believe your ambition is absolutely. healthy. and and and only good. Mhm. Absolutely. I couldn't agree more. I think And. what's really interesting about that. way you process ambition is that it's so. internal. Externally, two people could look like.

they're living the same exact life, but. internally they're living a completely. different one because one is motivated. by attachment and one is motivated by. service, right? One is motivated by FFA. as you said, and one is motivated by. service. It's It can only actually ever. be known by the individual and those. closest to them. And one of the things. that I know my audience struggle with, I. know that my friends struggle with, and. I know people in my life, and I read. this chapter and I was like, this is the. one that I'm going to tell them to. listen to and read immediately. You say.

the best way to start is to start. And I. find that everyone I know, or a lot of people I know, I should say, struggle to start because they're so. scared of what people will say, they're so scared of what people will. think, they're so scared of rejection, they're scared of failure. I spoke to a. friend the other day, he said to me, he. said, "Jay, I. struggle with trying new things because.

since I was young, I kind of followed a. path. I went to college. I knew I was. going to study this particular thing, so. I got that degree. I only applied to two. jobs and I got both of them because I'd. studied the right degree, and so I've. never really had a door shut on me. before. So now that I want to do. something different, it's impossible to. think that nine out of 10 doors may. close. So I find that so many people. struggle to start even though we know. it's the place to start because they're. so scared of rejection, lack of.

validation, or failure. So how do we How do we start when that's. what's going on in our head? How do you. write the book that'll change the world? You go home and you write the first. page. How do you get super fit if you want to. get super fit? You go on the first walk. How do you. find true love if you are all alone? You talk to that person in the grocery. store. As simple as it sounds, if you.

look at the great monuments, Taj Mahal, 22 years, one of the wonders in the. world, it started with the first block. Another wonder of the world, the Great. Pyramid of Giza, 2,500 blocks, 50,000 workers, one of the. monuments the world looks to, it started. with that first stone. So, I was in Dubai on a radio show, and. this wonderful broadcaster asked me, like, "You know, this is all fantastic, and so, where do we start?" I think. you're right, the very question. speaks of some degree of fear.

Because underneath it is really exactly. what you're saying. If I. stand. in my true power, if I live my values, if I chase my epic ambitions, if I live. the life I truly want to live, if I like. go the energy vampires and filled my. life with people whose lives I want to. be living, if I become all those things, what if I fail? What if I stumble? What if I get laughed.

at? And that's where I think it's really. important to remember the shortness of. life. And that's why people, when they talk. about mortality, they go they almost apologize. Sorry to. talk about the shortness of life or. But I think talking about the shortness. of our lives. is inspirational. Because when we. remember how quick a human life goes by, no matter how long we get to live, and. when we maybe every day in our. meditations or in our journaling and our.

private conversations, we remind. ourselves soon or late, we will be. nothing more than a pile of dust on the. mantle above a fireplace, next to Little. League trophies, number one, we don't. take ourselves too seriously, and number two, we live to the point. I. think what we are as human beings is we. are great postponers. We are busy being. busy. We are maximalists versus. minimalists. We put off we're going to. do these things later. But.

accident, illness, death, all those things are a part of. life and I think it as simple as it. sounds it's really important. One of the. chapters in in the book is put your last. day first. Another chapter at the end is. having have a living funeral. Buy the. cake, buy the daisies, invite your. family, hear what they would say about. you, tell them how much you love them. and remind yourself that life is really. very short. What have you seen in the.

people that you've coached, people that. you've worked with, seminars for you. know. 25 years or more now? What have you seen. has. allowed people to give themselves the. permission to fail? Like where have you seen people become. comfortable with discomfort and failure? What has been that habit or that. practice that has made them go this is. okay, this is normal? Wow, I would say first of all MVP as you.

know in athletics MVP is most valuable. player and that's an acronym I use for. meditation, visualization and prayer. So. you know, I wrote the 5 a.m. club and. for years I I get up at 5 and I do the. victory hour. But these days I get up at 4 and it's. really beautiful for me. I I live in. this old farmhouse in Tuscany and I hear. the roosters off in the distance and I. hear these dogs barking and I just lay.

there in bed and I meditate and I. visualize and I pray. And it really works. Now it doesn't. transform your life in a day, what does? But small daily seemingly insignificant. improvements when done consistently over. time. And that practice of meditating. on becoming. less fearful. Visualizing yourself as. the person you want to be. Maybe in a. scenario, maybe it's in a business, maybe it's in a presentation, maybe it's.

asking someone out, maybe it's running a. marathon or just getting to the gym. Seeing yourself with your eyes closed. while the world is asleep and just. feeling it at cellular level and the. colors. Visualization is incredibly. powerful. And then prayer. It's so easy to forget this time-honored. truth. Every prayer is heard. And if you don't believe in God or you. don't believe in spirit, then I'm sure. you believe in. your subconscious.

And so prayer, MVP is a very powerful. tool. Second tool, I call it the. pre-performance paragraph. So, what you're right about deepens. commitment. What you write about. sets a default about how you're going to. be. So, writing a paragraph as part of your. morning routine in your journal about. who you want to be in that day. Brave, strong, resilient, positive. Writing it out in detail, just. a paragraph is a very very powerful.

tool. And then third thing, I could. continue, but the third thing is. you become your conversations. The sixth. form of wealth in the wealth money can't. buy, and it's a form of wealth is your. community. You become your social. circle. It's like I don't know if you like good. wine, but great wine comes down to a. great terroir. The terroir is the. surrounding, the ecosystem. The wind, the soil, the sun, etc. Well, as human beings, we become our. terroir.

And if we are around toxic people, if we. are around people playing victim, if we. are around people who stand for low. standards, if we are around people who. minimize the power of personal growth, we are met people who are takers. We will become the people we surround. ourselves with and we could get into the. science of mirror neurons which causes. us to mimic our social circle. We could. talk about emotional contagion which is. the scientific phenomenon of us adopting. the dominant emotions of the people we.

are around. So those would be three. things. The third thing is really clean. out your social circle, get rid of the. toxic people. I think you can change the. world or be around negative people or. you can't do both. Yeah, the last one's. such a. you know, we know it to be an age-old. truth yet we struggle with it so much. and I always wonder. why that is and before I ask you that I. wanted I wanted to share yeah, I find. that. I found that whenever I'm. complaining about someone in my circle.

I'm in that process becoming more like. them. Like I remember years ago I was. complaining about someone because they. always were complaining. And I found. myself becoming the biggest complainer I. knew because I was complaining about. this individual. And so often we're. becoming like them not because. we're even mirroring them. We're. becoming like them because we're. behaving like them subconsciously. without knowing. Why do we find it so. hard? We've heard that million times. Why do we find it so hard to change our.

circle and to transform the terroir. around us? Like why do we struggle so. badly even though we know that we are. the average of the people we spend time. with? Why is it that we're still stuck. in the same circles? Often it's because we love them. Mhm. And I would I would say reason, season, lifetime. Some people come into our. lives for a reason. Some There's that old idea which is some. people come back into your life to see. if we're still stupid.

So you know, some people come into our. lives for a reason. Some people come into our lives for a. season. and then some people come into our lives. for a lifetime. Like I think of my my. partner L. You know, she's just that. person who gets me, that person who you. know, I could have 20,000 dinners with. So, I think we struggle because. sometimes these energy vampires J are. our parents or our sisters.

or our best friends. And so, we say, "Well, I love them. That's been my friend for 10 years or 5. years." But I would say. you know, if if you're growing and. you're reading and you're doing all. these modalities and you want to live a. truly your richest life and you want to. materialize your gifts and talents and. live at your best and someone isn't. growing and they're always questioning. you or you say, "Here's a new idea. project." And they're just going, "That.

would never work. Here are the reasons, etc." Then you really have to ask. yourself if that person is is is good. for you and healthy for you. And I would. say if you love them. maybe it's a parent then love them from. afar or practice selective association. and see them once a month versus texting. with them or chatting with them on the. phone every day. I'd say the second. reason why we keep people who are not. good for us or who are bringing us down. in our life. is the human being doesn't like to. change. We just don't like to change.

And so, it's so much I would put it to. you this way. I would say the. the discomfort of growth is always less. dangerous than the illusion of security. Mhm. And so, I would say, "Yes, it's. difficult to let people go.". And yet that is always less dangerous. than saying I'm going to allow these. people to stay in my life if they're. just bringing me down. It's it's that's. an interesting thing because I often. find also that as we're growing in our. personal growth self-development.

journeys. we're often becoming less compassionate. in the beginning. Like there's a. immature arrogance that develops. If I'm. moving faster than these people, I'm. better than these people. I'm I'm I'm. the one doing the self-work and they're. not doing it. And even that mindset in itself is a. sign that we've got a lot more work to. do because if we're working so deeply on. ourselves, our compassion should more. likely expand. And hopefully we'd have. the ability to set better barriers and.

boundaries with those individuals and. develop the idea that we can. have a group of people that we grow. around. And then you have a group of. people that you have to give to often, right? Like I think that's what our life. is made up of. Like life isn't just. we're not just run by people that help. us grow because we're obviously taking. from them as well. And we don't want to. be in a position where we're only. giving. We want to be able to grow. So. it's almost like we all have we have two. sets of groups in our life at any real. given time. Would you agree with that or. No, I would just say trust trust your.

joy. I think joy is a great GPS. And so. yeah, I'm not in any way suggesting be. around people only who fuel you and who. help you become you at your best. Yeah. I'm simply saying it's it's about what's. healthy. It's about your joy. It's about. being around people who you vibe with, who understand you, who have similar. values, who support you and and who. encourage you. So I think your community is definitely. a key an absolutely key form of wealth.

The fifth form of wealth is the fourth. excuse me is your craft. And I think, you know, it's very easy to fall into. the trap of thinking a job is a job and. not realizing that our work. offers us an opportunity to get to know. who we truly are. You know, there's a. there's a chapter in there about do your. project X, you know, which is build your. and I think the world right now needs. more magic in the world. And I think a. lot of us, what we do is.

we try to push out a lot of content, put. out a lot, and I would rather do one. master work than a thousand. mediocrities. And I think, you know, seeing your craft as a chance to change. the world is is is a form of wealth. Mhm. And what would you say to people. who go, "Robin, you know what? I just. want to check into my job, clock my. hours, and come home.". Is that okay? Is there a better way to live? What would you say to that? I'd say, "Of course." I mean, the great. thing about a human life is well, get to.

live in the way that we want to live. I. I've never subscribed to the hustle and. grind culture. I think that. rest is not a. luxury, it's a necessity. I think we have to enjoy the fruits of. our labor. Having said that, I think almost in the. world right now, hard work has. a bad reputation. Mhm. And I And I just think that, you. know, seeing your work as noble, seeing. your work as a chance to pursue mastery, seeing your work as a chance to serve.

and delight and astonish. is a great form of It's a great form of. happiness. If someone wants to say, "I. just want to finish at 5:00 and go. home." That's absolutely fantastic. I. would humbly suggest though they might. be missing one of the greatest sources. of joy and well-being and inner peace. If you look at people, really happy. people, a lot of them say, "I would. never retire. Why would I retire? It's. It's my oxygen." Mhm. And for me, I've. got a great family life, and I I think I.

have a good lifestyle. And yet, I just What I do is this is. year 31 in the field of leadership and. personal development, and the. opportunity to calibrate the craft. I. spent one year of my life on this book. I did 20 different manuscripts, probably. 10,000 little optimizations. every version. And I really suffered on. this book. And you know, I have to I it. was suffering. It was hard. I felt like.

giving up. I could have mailed it in. The publisher would have said, "Absolutely fine.". But there's a whole series of values. here. Like my family name is on that. cover. I'm only as good as my last book. I think, you know, pushing yourself to. the jagged edges of your potential is. how you grow. And and you know this, but. I I really feel. I have a sacred. trust relationship with my readers. And you set an intention before we. started. I set an intention here, too,

which is. you know, to. to celebrate you for all the good that. you do in the world. And to have this this studio full of. light. And also I I just did a little. visualization and prayer before I came. over here for all the people around the. millions and millions of people who. listen to your show. And you know, as you know, these are. real human beings with hopes and dreams. and fears and insecurities. And and I thought about as many of them.

as I possibly could. Some are at the top. of the mountain. Some people are. struggling. Some people are in bad. relationships. Some people are in the. relationship of their lifetime. Some. people are starting a new tech company. Some people are multi-billionaires. Some. people are entertainers. Some people are. athletes. What am I offering? I'm I'm simply. saying. I think through our work we have a. chance to change lives. I was in London recently and I got into.

this taxi cab on London black cab. And the gentleman outside it. it's almost like he was on guard doing. noble work. Jay, his car was shining. His tires were polished. I walked. inside. The carpeting on the floor was perfect. And as we went to Heathrow, I sort of. tried to deconstruct his winning. formula. And this is on this fifth form. of wealth, the. fourth form of wealth, seeing your work.

as your craft. And he said, "Well, you. know, I take my job seriously. It gives. me so much pride. I get to meet. interesting people." And then when we. got to the airport, he goes, "Look, look. what I do before every person comes in. here." And he had this shampooer, and he. goes, "Look." And he turned it on, and. he started shampooing. the carpet. And then he had like. the Windex. And And I'm just saying, you. know, whether someone is a CEO or a. billionaire or a famous tycoon or a. pizza maker or a yoga teacher or an.

astronaut, work has incredible. potential to help us build intimacy with. our mastery, but also give us incredible. fulfillment. So, it's a form of wealth. You know what? I love hearing that. because I had personal experience of it. as well just last week. So, last week. was one of my my best friend's birthday. He was in town. And so, I took him and a. friend to Disneyland. Uh you know, which is not a couple of. hours away. for his birthday. And. it was amazing. We were fortunate enough.

to, you know, have a have a. uh. private guide, like a a tour tour guide. Her name was Lexi. And I have not met someone. this like just for a long time I'd not. met someone who was like that. passionate, knowledgeable, smart, charismatic about their work. She knew. every detail. of history of the Walt Disney Park, right? She knew everything. She knew. where Walt Disney had spent time. She.

knew what year that ride was built. She. knew the little Easter eggs and the. hidden stories about every single ride. Like, it was just spectacular to be. around her and to learn from her. And. when you're talking about mastering your. craft, I was so amazed at how, you know, 26 years old, like fully mastered the. craft of hospitality, tour guide, entertainment, knowledge, smarts. And I. said to her at the end of the day, because we were just so happy with the. experience, I said to her, I said, "You're going to run that park one day.".

Like you have that energy. Like you're. going to run that park one day. And she. said, you know, she said to me. afterwards, she was like, "It's. experiences like this that give me joy. for what I do." And I was just thinking. how special it was to experience that. I. love what I do, but to feel that from. someone, it was it was amazing. So shout. out to Lexi, if you're listening. But uh. it was it was such a beautiful. experience, and I think that. what's happened, I feel, Robin, I know. you work in leadership, you work with so. many organizations all across the world, like I think for so long, because.

culture perpetuates and cascades down, because you've seen the person above you. not love what they do and not master. their craft, but do the job, you then do. the job and don't master your craft. And. then the person who's coming up beneath. you sees the same thing, and then we. repeat that culture, because we see it. being rewarded. We don't see what you. just said. You just gave this beautiful. example of you know, it took you a while. to write this book. You suffered to. write this book. It was it was hard work. to put it together, and you said, "I'd.

rather create a mastery than lots of. mediocrities.". But we see mediocrity being celebrated. and rewarded. And masterpieces generally. are hard to find these days, right? Because of the amount of consumption and. the amount of creation. And so it almost. feels that we have to be able to break. generational cycles, or break the. generational curses, or break. multi-generational culture. How do we get the courage to do that. when we see everyone doing the opposite.

around us? Well, I I think there's a few. things that come to mind. And the first. thing is. you know, I I love going to art. galleries. Me, too. And I am absolutely. inspired. I don't know if all your. viewers can see it, but there's that. almost looks like a Basquiat behind me, you know. So, I I'm just I'm an. aesthete. That's a French word, as you. know, for a lover of beauty. And this is. not expensive beauty, necessarily. I love the beautiful flower. I love.

going to art galleries and seeing the. work of the masters. And I often have. here in LA the other day I went to a. whole bunch of galleries. And I was. around Cy Twombly. Yes. Oh, I love Cy. Twombly. around Thorg, you know, and I I just. love these amazing whether it's a Oh, I. went to Basquiat. I don't know if you've. seen the Basquiat in the Gagosian. Please, please go. And what I'm offering. is don't do it. Don't do beautiful work.

for the applause. The applause will come. as a byproduct. Do beautiful Do your most beautiful. work. Work hard on it. Calibrate it. Make it magic. See your work work as. part of a magic shop for what it. introduces you to within yourself. And even if no one sees it, I think. about Vincent van Gogh. One of the greatest artists of all time. He sold two. paintings.

So, he didn't do it for the money. He. didn't do it for the fame, fortune, and. adoration. He did it because he had to. do it. And he did it because he was an. explorer. He was a magician. It. It did something inside him that made. him feel very good. I think about J. D. Salinger. One of my favorite books is. Catcher in the Rye. J. He only wrote one book. And then he. checked out into a subterranean passage. in New Hampshire. And he probably wrote. I think it was 30 other books, but he.

never published one of them. So, how do you develop this kind of a. philosophy? Well, you stop plugging into the cultural. majority and doing what everyone is. doing and you do you take a radical act. and you start thinking for yourself. And. I think that's the power of the eight. forms of wealth the book is based. around. It's a framework. It's a Mount. Everest for the eight most important. elements of a life well lived. Doesn't.

mean you're going to do them all in a. day, but every day you advance on. growth, on wellness, on family, on. craft, on money, on community, on. adventure, and on service. And you start. to think for yourself. And I guess what. I'm trying to say is you start to live. your own life versus your neighbor's. life. And I think that's a. a powerful way to live. No one wants to. get to our last day and say we lived. like the tribe, we lived like our. neighbors. I.

There's a an acronym in the book called. PENUM. The five forces of PENUM: parents, environment, nation, associations, and media. These five. forces program us and here's what they. do. They cause us to forget who we truly. are. And so I think we're born into genius. and then we resign ourselves into. ordinary and we become busy being busy. and we're playing with our phones and. we're doing what everyone else is doing, but deep inside we have a voice of. wisdom that sees the self-betrayal.

and we're in pain. Because potential unexpressed turns to. pain. So, we're in pain, but we don't. know it. And so that's why we medicate ourselves. with too much phone, too much digital, too much work, too much. scrolling, too much gossiping because we. don't like ourselves. For sure, well. said. I mean, one of the it's so funny you say that. One of the things I work on with my. clients that I work with privately will. uh I'll ask them to.

we write a book. for them, which is called their book of. values. And it's a book of values, mindsets, habits that they practice. We design the. cover. We print the book, only one copy, and. they carry it around with them in their. bag wherever they go. So, that wherever. they go in the world, they can pull it. out, and whenever they forget all the. self-work they've been doing, they can. look back at a guidebook for themselves. And I always tell them, "We're only ever. going to publish one of these. This. doesn't get shown to your family, it. doesn't go to your friends, it's not.

something you have to promote, you don't. market it, it stays with them.". And I was inspired by it because I. remember reading uh Benjamin Franklin's. uh. 13 virtues. To me, that was the idea of it. It's. like, how could you have a book that you. carried around that represented you, that held your identity, that made you. like yourself because that's who you. were? But you often have to remind. yourself of who you were while you get. caught in the penum. Uh you know, the. the five points you just mentioned now,

and. and I and I think that idea that and. anyone can do that. You don't have to be. well-known to do that. You don't have to. be successful to know that. I know you. talk about the value of journaling. Like, that's what a journal is. It's. it's a space where you carry around your. heart. Uh if you see it that way, right? You carry around your thoughts, and you. can re-edit, and you know, systematize. your thoughts and make sense of them. Uh and and one of the things I've been. hearing from a lot of people. recently is this thought of like. realizing they need to rewire their.

relationship with money. People have either been trained to. believe that money is bad, money is. evil, money doesn't buy happiness, money. is the root of all evil, money will make. you lose friends. There's so many statements about money. that have been programmed into our. penum, whether it was our parents, whether it was media as you said, you. know, all the others that have. programmed us. And all of a sudden you get to point in.

life where you realize. well, now I just have unhealthy beliefs. about money. So, whether I have it or I. don't, I don't have a healthy relationship. How. do you start rewiring that? I- I- If I. could before I answer that, you talked. about something that I think is so. important. Your the book you do with. your clients. Yeah. And I think. that speaks to something that is so. essential in the world right now, which. is solitude. I think genius loves. isolation. I think we are so in the. world right now.

and there's so much noise we can't hear. the signal. And so I think spending some. time every day alone is so powerful, whether it is in a journal, whether it. is on a nature walk, whether it is one. of the chapters in the in the craft. section is go ghost for a year. You take. a one year. Go to Bali. Go to Vietnam. Go to Medellín. Go to Stockholm. Leave. your phone. Take the classics. Read them. Study. them. Learn MVP, meditation,

visualization, and prayer. Take long. walks and get lost. Talk to strangers. Find yourself and after that year or 6. months or 3 months, come back to the. world reconnected with who you truly. are. So, I think being alone and going. ghost. Mhm. is important. So, you talk about. how do we rewire our relationship with. money? I think the DNA of transformation. is awareness. So, it's it's the process of first of. all realizing that money. is something, but it's not everything.

So, our society says. measure your success by your net worth. In many ways, that's how society. tells us to think. We pedestal the. billionaire. We don't. put the gardener or the teacher or the. firefighter on the front cover of the. magazine. So, understanding that money. is not everything and it won't be the. source of your joy. Like, I've I I've. met so many people who have sold their. companies. I have I think one person in. particular, he said, "We We had a. liquidity event. We were waiting for the.

funds to wire into the account. My whole. family was sitting around the table. We. watched the funds go into the account.". And he goes, "It went into the account. and I didn't feel any different." And. it's that Zen proverb, "Wherever you go, there you are." So, realizing that trap. Number two, realizing, of course, money's important. Gets you. better way to journey through life, in. in some ways less stress. You can do. great things for your family. You can.

help people in need. You can get things. that that you like. There's nothing. wrong with material objects. But, not defining yourself. by your art collection. Not defining. yourself by your net worth because then. that becomes just another drug of. choice. So, it's what I was saying earlier, which is making money, prosperity is a. wonderful thing. I mean, if you look at. the universe, there's no scarcity.

There's flowers everywhere and there's. clouds and there's there's so much the. universe is abundant. So, there's. nothing wrong with abundant forms of. money. I don't think we need to make it. bad at all. But, not being not using it and having. it as our god to the point where. actually we become so busy chasing. money, we forget about the other seven. forms of wealth. We forget about our. family. We forget about our wellness. What's the point? There's There's one wisdom tradition.

they say, "When we are young, we would. sacrifice our health for wealth. And. when we get old and wise, we would. sacrifice all of our wealth for one day. of good health." So, making money is not at all a bad thing, but let's not sacrifice the other seven. mountain tops that are important for a. truly well-lived life. Yeah, having a. more expansive definition. is so required because we're often only. measuring. our success in life and happiness based.

on that one metric. I think that. measurement piece is so interesting. because I was saying to a friend a. couple of years ago, he really slowed. down from his work because he fell in. love. And he found love. And he's gone on to get engaged to that. individual and at some point soon. they'll get married. And he always felt that that year was. such a wasted year in his life because. he was looking at it through the lens of. the business didn't progress, the. you know, my financial life didn't.

progress. And I I've said to him so many. times, I said, "That was one of the best. investments of your life because you. found love. Like you'll look back at. that year as the best year of your life. of all time, but if you're only. measuring your success." And I was like, "You have no idea how that stability is. going to impact your career in the next. few years. You could have been. distracted looking for love for the next. 5 years and your work would have been. distracted. Here you are, you found love. in 1 year and now look, you'll you'll. have that stability." And it's so. interesting what we measure makes such a.

difference. And I like that you're. giving us. eight things to measure as opposed to. one thing. And then you start to realize. how rich you truly are because. no eight are going to align every year. anyway. These are eight priorities Yeah. of a truly great life. And you talk. about that love story. You know, how how rich, how wealthy. are those are those two people? I even. think about the times that we are.

dealing with heartbreak. You know, the times we're dealing with. tragedy. The ego says this is a waste of time. The ego says I should be productive. What's more productive than navigating. the hard times. and using the painful moments. to introduce us to our strengths, using. the difficulty to make us wiser, to. teach us forgiveness, to help us learn. the great human virtues of patience and.

understanding. So, I think it's our ego Mhm. that tells us, "Oh, we're wasting time. if we're building love. We're wasting. time if we're healing. We're wasting. time if we're going through a hard. season on our journey." But, it's all. grist for the mill, you know? I think. the person who experiences the most. wins. And work is important, but let's not. confuse productivity. with busy. And let's not confuse movement with. progress. And I think a great human life.

has many different seasons and many. different moments. And maybe there's a. time for each of them. Mhm. Absolutely. You You talk about knowing your scarcity. scars. This one really resonated with me. because I think we don't realize what a. scarcity. mindset we've built up over time. in all of these areas. I don't deserve. love. I manifest bad health. I must be going to get sick.

I'm going to ruin this and throw it all. away. Like these are repetitive thoughts. in people's minds. In scarcity in each of these areas that. you break down as the eight priorities, somewhere deep inside of ourselves we. believe we don't deserve career success, love success, wellness success. Craft, I could never be good enough to. do that. That's for special people. That's for the Kobe Bryant, Michael. Jordan. That's not That's not for me. Like those people mastered their craft. So, these scarcity scars that exist,

how do you even develop the idea. that your scarcity scar doesn't have to. be your reality forever? So, there's an idea. that I share called. recruited dead board of directors. Mhm. And recruiting a dead board of directors. is about the power of mentors. And all it takes is one conversation. with an interesting person to. revolutionize the way we see the world.

And we talked about the penum. programming, the five forces. In so many. ways we adopt the. when we're little kids, we have these. social cues and we watch and listen to. how our parents see the world. And. that's what parents do. They teach us. how the world works. And for a lot of. parents, they teach us scarcity. Money doesn't grow on trees. I had one. client, his father repeated over and. over and over again, "All rich people. are liars, cheats, and thieves.".

Mhm. How many times do parents say, "Oh, that's a great idea. You want to be in. the NBA or you want to be a painter, you. want to be a best-selling author, you. want to be a billionaire. Be. reasonable.". Makes me think of George Bernard Shaw. He said, "The reasonable man adapts himself to. the world. The unreasonable one persists in. adapting the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the. unreasonable man.". Mhm. So, what is. recruiting a dead board of directors all.

about? Well, it's like if you can't have. a mentor who's a possibilitarian and who. mentors you and teaches you how to do. it, then find some dead people through. their books. that influence you. Mhm. And so, how do. we heal these these scars? Well, we. realize that genius is less about. genetics and it's more about your daily. habits. Mhm. And if you look at the people we. put on pedestals, The Hedy Lamarrs, the great actors,

the great athletes, Aristotle Onassis, Nelson Mandela, one of my greatest. heroes in in my life. And you read their biographies, these. people are all cut from the same cloth. as. as we are. You know, the the the story of human. greatness is all about people from. ordinary circumstances. wiring in new habits, taking a risk, getting knock getting knocked down so. much and being and being resilient. So,

I think having a dead board of I even. think of Kobe, you know, you mentioned. Kobe. So, he actually said, "You know, I got in the NBA and I. thought everyone would want to be best. in the world and want to be iconic." And. he said, "I realized a lot of people got. in the NBA and. that was their badge of honor. They were. good and they just started partying and. they might do one workout every day.". And he said, "I realized that if I got. up. at 3:00 every morning, practice from. 4:00 to 6:00, went home, had breakfast,

etc., went back, did another workout. 11:00 to noon, went home, had some. lunch, recovered, rested, did another. workout, went home, had dinner, and did. a fourth workout, to use his words, after a period of 4 or 5 years, I would. develop a an advantage so great that no. one would ever catch up." So, all I'm. saying is people whose lives we want to. be living, they're not cut from some magical cloth. You know, you scarcely scratch like the.

richest people. I mentioned Aristotle. Onassis, he started with $250. But, they're just doing a series of. practices and they're adopting different. ways of seeing the world and they're not. playing victim and giving away their. power to external things. And steadily. through time they build the lives that. we now admire. Mhm. Well said. I The. reason why that resonates so strongly. with me I've I've often said and I love. your language around it. I've often said. that I've been mentored by people I've. never met because I had the fortune of.

reading Martin Luther King when I was. young, reading Steve Jobs, you know, when Walter Isaacson wrote his brilliant. book on Steve Jobs, reading. uh. Einstein, you know, it's just it's. amazing. that we're so obsessed with what people. think of us as opposed to how people. lived. And it's we think a mentor is about who. can give me direct advice. And we're so. interested in advice as opposed to you. can actually study the action that that.

dead board of directors did in that. scenario. How did they deal with stress? How did they deal with pressure? How did. they deal with failure? How did they. deal with success? Like what did they. do? Like it's so great to have a dead. board of directors. I love that language. because you can actually study the. actions, not just the advice. And we. often get so lost in advice that we miss. out on realizing it's behavior change, it's action, it's it's habit change as. you're saying that really makes the. shifts in our life. And you mentioned. this earlier, I wanted to come back to.

it was this three great friends rule. And I love that you talk about having. three great friends. I heard recently. somewhere, I can't remember, I was I was. browsing on social media and someone. said you need 3:00 a.m. friends as well. Like friends you can call at 3:00 a.m. and they'll pick up the phone. How do. you know? What is the quality of a great. long-term friend? What What is a great. friend? I'm not sure we even know. anymore. A great friend is someone you. can be yourself with and they still love. you. A great friend is.

I I had a line in the book, you know, you're in a foreign country and 3:00. a.m. they hop on a plane and they come. get you. A great friend is someone who you can. laugh with. A great friend is someone who you're. going through your most difficult times. and they'll listen to you for hours. A great friend is um. Yeah, someone who who accepts you. Someone who helps you be seen. A great.

friend is someone who when you're with. them you feel joyful versus depleted. So, I think it's really important, you. know, in this world where we are. maximalists. We want we want to be all. things to all people. We want to have so. many different friends. Focus on three. great friends. We want to read a hundred. books. Master three books. Maybe it's. Jobs'. Isaacson's autobiography on Jobs like. you mentioned. Maybe it's The Prophet by. Kahlil Gibran. Maybe it's.

The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. Maybe it's Meditations of Marcus. Aurelius. One of my favorite books of. all time. You know, but. I think just being a minimalist is is so. powerful. Build your life around a few. things. Even in work, I mentioned it. Rather than pushing out a thousand. pieces of. mediocrity. Do one thing incredibly well. You know, even if it takes 5 years, 10.

years. There's a chapter called Make. Your Project X in The Wealth Money Camp. by. And the example is the Duomo in Milan. You know, how long they spent on it. In. this world where we want to do something. in an hour and they get the rewards. Or. maybe a week, maybe a month. It took 600 years to create the Duomo. These are values of a unspoken age. 600. years of calibrating, refining,

optimizing to create the Duomo. And so, that's what a project X is. Rather than. doing lots of things, you do one thing. Maybe it's one of art. Michelangelo took four years of working. on the chapel of the Sistine ceiling, but he got the job done. So, minimalism is is very very powerful. Mhm. And one of the things you said that. this idea of. we're almost trying to be so many things.

to so many people. that it's hard to find the right. friends. One of the things you talk. about is do not be a doormat. And I find that that becomes that. people-pleasing mentality, that ability. that I can mold and I can be whatever. you want me to be, and I can be lots of. things, and we feel validated that way, but in the end we're just becoming a. doormat. Everyone crosses over a. doormat. And a doormat welcomes everyone in the. same way. So, when I read that, I was. like, how do we be kind but not be a.

doormat? How do we be service-oriented. but not be a doormat? How do we. balance that art of being welcoming but. not being a doormat? Well, I you know, for for many years, like you, Jay, I've talked about the. power of just being if being kind. Mhm. You know, and it sounds so simple, but being kind. Staying in a hotel, remembering there's someone going to. clean my room after I leave the room. So, put the bath of the towels in the. bathtub. Straighten out the bed. Leave.

the room service tray clean. Little acts. of kindness not only are a gift you give. to someone else, it's a gift you give to. yourself. You respect yourself more. So, then people come up sometimes say to. me, "Well, if I'm kind, people will take. advantage of me." And I would say, "People will only take advantage of you. if you allow people to take advantage of. you. Let's not confuse kindness with. weakness." There is a time to always be. kind, but that doesn't mean you'll let.

people walk over you. Mhm. And that makes me think of another idea. that I write about, which is the. importance of. you know, in this world right now, it's. so easy to live the same year 80 times. and call it a life. And there's one. chapter called be a perfect moment. creator. And the story I tell in there. is of Eugene Kelly. O'Kelly, excuse me. And Eugene O'Kelly. used to be the former CEO of KPMG, the.

accounting behemoth. And one day he walked into his doctor's. office to get the results of a routine. medical, and the doctor came out with an. expression you never want to see on the. face of your doctor when you go to get. your results. And he was told he had 90 days left to. live. He had an inoperable brain tumor. So, confronted with his mortality, he. realized for the first time he had. never, in all his years as a corporate. titan, he had never taken his wife to.

lunch. He had missed so many Christmas concerts. of his daughter. He had never spent time. with his friends walking through Central. Park and having conversations. And so, he decided to. re-engineer his last 90 days. And he said, "I wanted to become a. perfect moment creator." And he spent. those last 90 days. He actually died. roughly 90 days after um the report from. his doctor. But I think that's so powerful, you. know, when you're with your family, when. you're with your work, when you're with.

yourself in each and every day, find some way to create a perfect. moment. Maybe it's giving a gift to. someone through a compliment. Maybe it's. taking some time to do something that. fills you with joy. But being a perfect. moment creator, I think is a form of. wealth money can't buy. Mhm. For sure. Uh Robin, I have one last question for. you. Which I think is such a interesting. challenge for so many people right now. Your. rule is see another's winning as your.

victory. And I think we live in a world right now. where. seeing others winning. is. we take it as a reflection of our. losing. Right, we see others winning as a. reflection of us being inadequate. We. see someone winning as a feeling of. we're behind. We see someone else. winning as a feeling of there's not. enough space. It's too consumed. It's. There's There's too many podcasts in the. world. There's too many books in the.

world. There's too many Instagram reels. in the world. Like, how can I do. anything? Like, if that person's. winning, then they've taken my spot. We live in a world believing that. there's a finite number of seats in the. theater of happiness and in the theater. of dreams and that. there isn't a seat with our name on it, rather than seeing another's victory as. our own. How do we train ourselves to do. that? Well, this is such an absolutely. important point. And you're right, a lot.

of us look on one of the social media. feeds and we see someone and as we all. know, a lot of that isn't real. So, that's the first thing. We don't know. the truth of how someone's really. living. The second thing I would say is. you do want to train yourself to see. someone's victory as an example of. possibility. Mhm. And you want to train yourself. And how. do you do it? MVP. Meditation, visualization, and prayer. Prayer is. very powerful. You know, or when you're. writing, write about your insecurities.

Write about how you're feeling when you. see someone else winning. You know, metabolize the feelings of. inferiority by noticing them, by. journaling about them, simply by sitting. with them, processing through. That's. how you move through, as you know, so. well. How do you move through a feeling. of insecurity, not enoughness? You. acknowledge it. And you don't give away. your power. You don't make excuses. You. don't throw rocks at those people. You. go, "What is it about their winning that. is bringing up my in not enoughness and.

you work through that not enoughness. through journaling, through meditation, through prayer, through silence, through. stillness, through nature walks. And so I think if we can train ourselves. to say wow, that person is doing so well. and applaud them and feel good for them. and say if they can do it, I can do it, I think we're going to be much more. peaceful. I would also say about the. podcast, someone is going to launch a. new podcast that is going to do. incredibly well, why not you?

Someone is going to write that new best. seller tomorrow that is going to. dominate the list, why not you? Someone is going to launch that new. business that's going to change the. world, why not you? And then the last thing I'd. say about is we all know but. this kind of a. way of being where we see someone else's. success. as something that brings out, you know, like we have resentment for it, it's coming from a place of great. scarcity and fear.

versus generosity. And if we are stuck in scarcity, then. we're never going to bring our magic to. the world. We're operating, I mean, everything we do reflects who we are. And if we're in scarcity and we're. really it's it's about jealousy. And then if we're feeling jealous at. someone else's victory, then it has. nothing to do with them. We need to work. through our feelings of jealousy until. we get to our next level of. consciousness and evolution. I think. it's a great opportunity to see what. other people success bring up for us.

Robin Sharma, everyone. The book is. called The Wealth Money Can't Buy, The. Eight Hidden Habits to Live Your Richest. Life. Robin, I'm so grateful for your. time, your energy, for pouring into this. book, for us picking some of my. favorites today. But like I said, there. is so much in this book to unpack. Please tag me and Robin on Instagram, on. X, on TikTok, on any platform you use on. social media with your greatest. insights, the chapters that are speaking. to you. Take pictures of the book and. post them and tag us so that we can see.

which moments inside this book are. resonating with you strongly and which. ones you're trying to apply. And as. Robin beautifully said, it's not about. reading 100 books this year, about three. that you can master. If we can learn to. master the wealth money can't buy, uh. it will hold such a deep and profound. impact in our life that we'll value 30. years from now, 50 years from now. Uh. Robin, thank you so much again for your. time, your energy, your presence. Uh. always grateful to be with you. And I'm.

so grateful that you put this book. together. Thank you so much for your. time, Jay. Keep changing the world and. uh really a joy to see you again. If you. loved this episode, you'll really enjoy. my episode with Selena Gomez on. befriending your inner critic and how to. speak to yourself with more compassion. My fears are only going to continue to. show me what I'm capable of. The more. that I face my fears, the more that I. feel I'm gaining strength, I'm gaining. wisdom, and I just want to keep doing.

that.