Simu Liu ON: The SECRET To Success NOBODY SHARES! (This Will Change Everything) | Jay Shetty

When you give yourself permission to. pursue your dreams, that is the moment. that your life. begins. It's when you stop being a. spectator and you start being the man in. the arena. Hey everyone, welcome back to On. Purpose, the number one health podcast. in the world. Thanks to each and every. one of you that come back every week to. listen, learn, and grow. Now, you know. that I love to sit down with fascinating.

people with incredible stories, and. especially people who share that through. the written word. I'm a huge fan of. books. You know I'm always sharing my. favorite books with you. And when I saw. this book come out, I I met this. individual and the author uh probably a. a few months before the book uh. was announced. And we connected at a. really special round table, which we'll. share in our interview, and I was really. taken aback by his journey. And as I. researched more about his story, I was.

blown away by the decisions he's made, the choices he's made. And I'm speaking. about the one and only Simu Liu, who. made history as the star of the first. Asian-fronted movie in the Marvel. Cinematic Universe. And of course, if. you haven't seen it, I highly highly. recommend it. And which garnered him the. People's Choice Award for favorite. action movie star. Simu also starred in. the award-winning CBC and Netflix comedy. series Kim's Convenience, which won the.

ACTRA Awards for outstanding ensemble in. 2017 and best comedy series at the 2018. Canadian Screen Awards. It was the first. Canadian television series with an. all-Asian lead cast. The series. chronicles the day-to-day micro-dramas. encountered by Korean immigrant family. that runs a corner grocery store. Now, Simu list of accolades now is. unbelievable. Beyond all of this is a. super cool guy, super down-to-earth,

a wonderful human being, and he does. insane backflips. I've seen them in real. life, not just in movies. Welcome to the. show. Simu Liu, Simu, thanks for being. here, man. Jay, it's it's such a pleasure. Thank. you. Thank you so much for having me and. for that pretty amazing introduction. Well, you have to live it. You have to. live it. So, I'm pretty sure you've. lived an amazing life if the. introduction is like and that's just. scratching the surface, but I really. mean it, man. When we met, we met when. Hasan put together, Hasan's been on the.

show, too. Hasan Minhaj put together a. YouTube roundtable, I believe it was, to. talk about the AAPI community. We had. this amazing dinner together. That was. the first time we'd met. You did a. backflip for us in the waiting area. outdoors. I wanted to say that I really. enjoyed connecting with you and then. like you were saying, we were just. together a week ago uh after the Oscars. Uh tell me about why that roundtable was.

important to you at the time. I'm just. intrigued like because obviously there. was there was such a diverse group of. us. Do you remember what it was for you. that that really inspired you to be. there? I mean, yeah. The the context of. that roundtable and what was going on at. the time and by the way, still continues. to happen to this day is is is just this. this rise in in anti-Asian, anti-AAPI. um sentiment and hate that's been going. around. I want to say America, but it's. really kind of just pervasive. It's it's.

been kind of everywhere in the Western. world um in over the last couple of. years, you know, in the wake of COVID. There's just this there's been this. sense that, you know, we are being. blamed for something that is that that. we have absolutely no part in and it's. partially because of, you know, the the. color of our skin and just just who we. are and and there are there are deeply. rooted um you know. aspects that that I made sure I wanted. to attack in that round table. You know,

this idea of a model minority myth, this. idea of a perpetual foreigner that you. know, no matter how many generations a. family could have immigrated from a. country that just because we have this. face, there's a perception that we're. always outsiders. And so you know, that's when when people ask me, "Where. are you from? No, where are you really. from?" And and a lot of Asian Americans. will know or will have been asked that. question. And it's like, "No, I grew up. I grew up here. You know, what are you. talking about? I'm I'm a I'm a Canadian. citizen or an American citizen. I pay. American taxes and um and I deserve to.

be treated as a citizen of the country, not scapegoated as an other." You know, and so I think that was the spirit of of. you know, what we were talking about. And um you know, again, yeah, it was. such an incredible pleasure talking to. you, Jay. Um and that backflip, I have to say I. Just for anybody who's wondering like. why the F does this guy just go and do. backflips? It was because Katelyn Ohashi. was one of the people on a round table. And so I was talking to her. I was like, "Oh, you know, I dabbled in tumbling.

back in the day." And she was like, "Oh, yeah?" I was like, "Yeah, I could I. could do a backflip." And she was like, "Okay, show me.". Yeah, I want I want to I want to support. you there, Simu, and say Simu just. doesn't just go around doing backflips. It was a very specific situation. But I. was more impressed because you were. doing it in like dress pants and like. dress shoes. It was not like you weren't. like ready for it. It's not like you. were prepared for it. So Yeah, that's a. risky maneuver looking back. I must have. I had a lot of faith in the in the. stretchiness of those pants.

You did. And it was before the event. But Simu, today we're talking about your. book, We Were Dreamers, which is. beautiful title, uh an immigrant. superhero origin story. And I just want. to say to everyone who's listening or. watching right now, I highly recommend. that you go and grab a copy of this book. uh when this episode is out the book. will be available. So, I highly. recommend you go to Amazon, Barnes &. Noble, wherever it is. There it is. Simu. has one of the early copies. I I have. the PDF on my phone. So, you see my. digital my digital version.

that I had for preparing for this. interview. I was very lucky to have a. have a early PDF copy. But, I highly recommend it. We were. Dreamers. that I highly recommend you go and get. Simu, I want to start talking to you. about you know, my wife and I saw. Shang-Chi with a mutual friend of ours, Dorothy, who I believe you know as well. And so, we. god, yes. Yeah, so we three went to see. the movie together. We loved it, you. know, huge fans of the movie. It was It. was phenomenal. But, what I know is that.

you sent a tweet years ago, right? Back. in 2018, where you kind of said that you. wanted to play the role. Now, you've talked about the tweet before. I. guess what I'm fascinated about more is. how did you have the confidence. back in 2018 or the lack of fear. to put yourself out there when that's a. really vulnerable space to be. Like, I. think today when I'm thinking about the. people that listen to us, they'd be.

thinking, "Oh, I'd never send that out. because what if I didn't get it? Or, I. would never go to that audition because. I'm too scared. Or, I'm feeling a lot of. anxiety around starting my own business. because I'm struggling with this, this, and this." So, we as a society struggle. to put ourselves out there. What gave you the confidence back then. or the. the lack of confidence, whatever What. was going through your head when you. sent a tweet like that? The delusion. No, no, that's a That's an incredible. question, Jay. Um it.

where I was mentally in 2018 and just in. general in my life, just being an actor. in the industry that was working, that was the culmination of of a lot of. years of work on myself personally. And. you know, if you've read the book, you'll know I had you know, I I spent a. lot of my life. that being that guy that was petrified. of judgement and of the opinions of. others and of putting his true self out. there. And where that got me was in a.

you know, I was I was working as an. accountant, hated my job, and then you. know, eventually found myself unemployed. because I was I was laid off. And the. moment that I started to give myself. permission, and of course the catalyst, I hope that the catalyst for everyone is. not this rock bottom moment where you. lose your job. But. if for for me that's what it was. It was. this idea of like I have nothing else to. lose. So I might as well do something. that makes me happy. And what you know, what incidentally that ended up being. was logging on to Craigslist and you.

know, searching for. acting jobs even even though I had no. idea how the industry worked. I didn't. know anybody. But you know, I remember. that feeling of being on set for the. first time as a movie extra and being so. enamored and blown away by the energy, by the people, and just wanting to do. anything that I could to get back, right? And. you know, in the years that I'm since I. made that decision, I just feel like you. know, that lesson has been has been.

learned in spades of this idea of like. it all starts with permission. And I. remember I said this when I was on stage. accepting my People's Choice Award is. that when you give yourself permission. to pursue your dreams, that is the. moment that you can actually that your. life. begins, right? It's It's when you stop. being a spectator and you start being. the man in the arena. You know, and and. for me, you know, that this tweet. and Jay, by the way, this tweet is only. one of the many things that I did over. the course of my career manifesting this.

kind of superhero role for myself. I. wanted to play a superhero ever since. from day one, you know, and and um I had. like written short films for myself. where I played a superhero. I, you know, I tweeted Marvel back in 2014, "Hey. Marvel, how about an Asian superhero?". And then yeah, in 2018 when they. announced the movie, I thought, "Well, why not, you know? What's the worst The. worst thing that could happen is that. they cast someone else." But no one's, you know, no one no one. no one's going to be talking about me. anyway.

And so kind of tongue-in-cheek, I I made. that tweet. I was like, "Hey Marvel, we. going to talk or what?" And of course, and I suspected this and I had it. verified multiple times, Kevin Feige. never read the tweet. Anyone Nobody at. Marvel or anybody along the. decision-making process ever read the. tweet, but I kind of love that, right? Because the manifestation is not for. anybody but yourself. It's for you to set a sight in the. horizon, be it wherever, you know, you. pick a direction and you say, "I don't. know if I'm ever going to get there, but.

that's the direction I'm headed and I'm. just going to I'm just going to go." And. and that's that was the mentality that. that I had been living with, you know, ever since I made the decision to pursue. acting. That I love. I I love that point you. just made. I think that is such a. brilliant distinction between how we. envision how manifesting works and how. it actually works. Like that distinction. that Simu just said, the idea that the. tweet was for him to believe it, to put. it out there, to feel it, to become.

really confident that that's what I want. to do. That was for him and no one saw. it and I love that no one saw it, too. Like I'm totally with you. I think. that's that's incredible. So, I want to. go back a bit into the book where you. talk about your childhood and I love. hearing about people's childhood because. I I think we underestimate how much our. childhood. impacts how we grow up. Like I always. say to people that their their adult. pursuits are based on the inner child's.

needs. Most people's adult pursuits are. based on what they didn't have as a. child. Now, can you share with us the. relationship you had with your parents. growing up because you grew up with your. grandparents, right? So, can you walk us. through that scenario? Absolutely. Yeah, so um I was born in a in a city in. northeastern China called Harbin or. Harbin. And um shortly after I was I was. born, my parents actually immigrated to. Canada. Um they were uh pursuing you. know, their higher education. So, my.

father was studying his PhD um and then. he was able to bring my mother over and. they actually ended up studying um at. the same university, uh Queen's. University in Kingston, Ontario. Shout. out to Queen's. And um. and you know, it was it was not feasible. at the time for them to bring you know, a a newborn baby with them. They would. have had to Basically, I would have been. a full-time job in and of myself, but. then they also had to maintain a full. course load. They had to do research, you know, um it just didn't make sense. And And of course, they there was not.

enough money. We we were so poor. Like. they didn't have any money to pay for. child care at all. So, um it really made. sense to leave me in the in the care of. my grandparents. So, um really like they were the ones who. who raised me. And And for about 4 and. 1/2 years, I lived what I believed to be. a pretty idyllic life um in in China. I. I knew I knew that I had parents kind of. conceptually that my grandparents were. not my parents, but I also didn't really. care. I had um I had people who loved.

me. I had a tribe. I had a family. And. you know, we we slept in the same bed. every single night and I just I went to. sleep feeling like. my heart was full and that I was loved. And that was really, you know, at the. end of the day, you don't really need. anything more than that. Um that being. said, one day when I'm when I'm about 4 and. 1/2, uh stranger shows up at the door. And he says, "I'm your dad. I'm your dad. and I'm here to take you to this new. life in Canada where everything is.

better, you know, um you know, we have. so many more opportunities in Canada. Your mother and I are working on. building a life in Canada. Um you're. going to come with us and be in our. family. And um. And I I was like, "Okay, but can I bring. my grandparents?" You know, that I like. the fundamental. you think about a child and what's going. on in his mind. He's like, "But but I. don't want to say good I don't want to. leave my grandparents. They're my. family." Um but, you know, that that was. you know, the whole family was kind of.

together on this kind of messaging, and. I was eventually convinced or coerced um. to to leave the country and to go with. my dad to to Canada. And um you know, effectively, if you. really think about it, Jay, I was I was. adopted by my own biological parents at. age five. And you know, whereas for my. parents, I think it it must have felt. like this happy ending because after so. many years apart, the family was finally. together, you know, we could finally. live our happy happily ever moment in in. this new country.

Um what it ended up being was a lot more. complicated than that in in truth and in. reality. Um because, you know, first and. foremost, my parents. didn't know who I was. They had no idea. the person that I had grown to become. You know, a a lot of things set by the. time you're, you know, at the age of 4. and 1/2, 5 developmentally, you know, a. a lot of things about your personality. solidify, and I think they were. surprised by the child that they. eventually got, you know, and and.

you know, the other thing, too, is that. they had no learning curve in parenting. It's just one day. they were all of a sudden responsible. for this child. And you know, whereas if. you had given birth and you had stayed. by your baby day after day, you would. have at least kind of like had the. ability to learn as things were going, but then there was this whole gap in. time where they just, you know, they. they didn't know and um. and so what ensued in the in the next. like I want to say like one or one and a. half decades was um you know, a lot of.

intergenerational conflict and butting. of heads and and just like, you know, parents and and myself I didn't have any. siblings but it was just me and my. parents just having different. expectations of each other, you know, fundamentally misunderstanding each. other and often times getting into big. blow up arguments sometimes, you know, with with violence and um. and uh you know, not not great not great. times all together but uh. evidently, you know, the the book, you.

know, having been out and and having. come full circle so many years later, you know, um I'm my parents are my best. friends today and it's the recognition. of that journey that we went on together. um that um that really catalyzed the the. the creation of this book. So I'm really. excited to. talk about it and for people to read it. Thank you for sharing that with us. because I think, you know, today. everyone sees you as the superhero and. they see you as obviously you just. crushing it right now and. you don't realize that there's a real. person behind all of this and there's a.

real journey and a real story and. there's a real. real life is is the right word. I think. we disconnect superheroes and that's why. origin stories have always been so. fascinating as kids of like, well, how. did this person get there? And I love. that you called this your origin story. because it does feel very grounded. There's this line in the book that I. that really resonated with me. and I think it's even more fascinating. against the backdrop of what you just.

said. And you said that my parents, like. many in their generation, were willing. to sacrifice greatly so they could. provide financial stability for their. children. And the The why that resonated with me. is I think a lot of people can connect. with that. When I hear that, it sounds. like you reconcile. their shortcomings. with what they were able what they were. trying to do at least from an intention.

point of view. What do you think you. What do you think you learned during. that time? Not now. I love hearing that. you're best friends now and you've. really connected, but what do you think. you took away during that time when it. wasn't great and it was painful? What. were you What were you learning? What. were you developing at that time? I mean, I think I was I think I was. developing an an internalized sense of. of hatred for my own identity. I I could. every day at home was this constant.

battle of culture and values and and, you know, language cuz, you know, we. were speaking in different languages to. each other. How could we possibly fully. understand where each, you know, the. other came from? So, I, you know, I grew. up under the assumption of like, I've. got the worst parents in the world. They're embarrassing to be around. They're embarrassing to take in public. And they don't understand, you know, where where is, you know, all of my. friends and my peers, they have parents. who understand, "Hey, our children like. to go out. Our children like to go to. parties." You know, for for me and my. parents, you know, they were so fixated.

on this idea of academic success being. the only way out or being the only way. to maintain the level of stability and. and to keep a roof over our heads that. they were just like, "You shouldn't be. doing this. You need to be studying.". You know, that was a the messaging that. was constantly being repeated time and. time again and and, you know, without. kind of hitting too hard this idea of a. tiger parent that I. hate that narrative. Um, you know, it. really just comes from, you know, my parents coming to and I'm starting to.

I'm starting to look back now. So, you. stop me whenever it's starting to get. too. no. I love it. No, I love it. Do it. self-aware. But but, you know, my. parents came here. with with nothing. And so, the anxiety. of that an immigrant feels I I think is. something that, you know, even I never. understood because I was sheltered from. it. Right? Like, of course but but. looking back I'm like, of course my. parents were obsessed with the idea of. having a stable career. And of course. they they didn't pause to think about.

what they were passionate about doing. They just wanted to they knew they were. electrical engineers, so they were like, this is my trade. This is my craft. I. can get work like this and I can build a. future for my family. And if I teach my. son to do the same, he will be able to. do the same thing for his family. And. when you look at it that way, you're. like, of course they acted that way. But. but yeah, at the time it really made me. resent them and it made me resent um. their their value and their culture,

which incidentally was is my culture, you know? Yeah. And I and I regret that very deeply. No, I I love how real this is because I I. can relate to that. As a South Asian. growing up in London, it was the same. thing. My my mom moved to London when. she was 16. She had to like find a job, economic stability, like, you know, they. didn't they didn't have wealth and. family or anything in England. And then. you know, it's like I grew up with the. same messaging and it was for the same. reasons, but I think it's so important.

that that. time doesn't turn into bitterness for us. or that feeling of resentment towards. our parents long-term because when we do. try and understand what you're sharing. with us, you're like, oh, it may it's. not that you it's it's not that it's. okay that they didn't think about these. things, it's that you understand why. they didn't have the time, right? It's. like reconciling. So, you tell a story. in the book when your mother, I believe, locked you outside of the hallway. Uh do.

you mind sharing parts of that story. with us about how different you think. parenting was in your home compared to. others cuz I think that really. highlighted that difference you spoke. about. Yeah, and I mean I mean the way. that my parents treated me was also also. by the way very different than the way. that my grandparents, you know, ever. interacted with me and and I I truly. believe like, you know, with my yeah. yeah and my na na like we we they were. they were perfect in every every. possible sense of the word, you know,

they were affectionate, they you know, were were reasonable, they it wasn't. like they spoiled me to become this like. total entitled brat. Um you know, they. were reasonable, they taught lessons, they were patient. And and with my. parents I feel like, you know, that patience just wasn't there. And of. course they were you know, a lot. younger, they had you know, had to take. class, they were busy, they were anxious. about other things, but um. this I'll never forget the first time. that I was really punished was was when. I you know, what I wrote in the book and.

um. I had you know, I think my dad had just. picked me up from school and he was you. know, kind of like, "Well, what did you. do at school today?" It was just this. this really innocent lie, but we had. gone swimming. So I said, "Oh, we were. we were swimming." And and my dad was. like, "Well, are you know, are you fast? Who's the fastest kid in the class?" And. because I I just wanted to impress my. parents, I was like, "I am.". And he was like, "Are you sure?". And and then I I don't know how this I. mean it sounds ridiculous to say now,

but I was like, you know, after a while. I was like, "No, I'm not sure. I was. lying.". I don't think I I mean like I mean like. how like it's not like we all hopped in. a pool and the and the and the. instructor was like, "All right, everybody, we're going to grade the. speed." Like everyone was just having. fun, but of course I just you know, I. just really wanted I just really wanted. to impress them. And and and so I was. like, "Yeah, I wasn't it was I was. lying." And and my dad was like, "Okay, you did the right thing, you told the. truth." And I was like, "Yeah, you know, please don't tell mom cuz cuz my mother.

is as you know, as as tough as my dad. is. My mom was like the real um. enforcer of the family like very vicious. and specific with her words like just. the words that cut you off. You have. this one parent that sometimes you know. whose words just cut a little bit. deeper. That was my mom. And so I was. like can you please not tell don't tell. mama like please. and and he was like okay okay I won't. And later on that night at dinner you. know we're we're together and my mom was. like so how was school. and I was like oh it was fine we went.

swimming and I my dad I I remember this. so vividly and it's so funny cuz when I. tell him about it he doesn't. But I'm like no this happened is my dad. sold me out. So he promised me that he. wasn't going to tell my mom and then he. was like Simu told a lie today. And. and basically like literally the moment. that he finished saying it my mom was. out of her chair you know and grabbed my. hand led me out of the door. you know shut it in my face and and.

locked it. And I was I was out I mean for a for a. five year you know for a six year old. it's probably like 15 minutes for me it. felt like forever and I was struggling. with so many things you know like. you know first of all I was I was being. disciplined in a way that I had never. been before. My dad had like betrayed my. trust so it was really it was a really. pivotal moment in my time in Canada cuz. I I really felt quite alone. You know I missed my grandparents I. wanted to be home I was promised I was.

sold on this utopic life in this new. country when it really all I wanted was. to go back you know. So so yeah that I mean that that kind of. was the was the. catalyzing moment for everything that. that came after it really foreshadowed. all of the conflicts that we would that. we would have issues about trust you. know the physical physical discipline. and just remember feeling so alone out. in that hallway. What I What I find so.

great about this book and why I Why I. want everyone to read it as as fans of. yours, as people who are struggling with. their own identity and their own. journey. Maybe there's people who've. listening and watching who've moved. city, moved country. Maybe you've. actually. gone through an adoption process. Maybe. you've moved with your family. Like the. reason why it's so powerful is your. memory is really vivid. Like it's it's. amazing how strong these moments are and. that's why I wanted you to share that. story because it's like a lot of people.

I speak to don't really have strong. memories of 5, 6 years old. Like a lot. of people's memories. don't start till a lot later. Memories. that they can really hold on to. And so. one of the things I do I think you do so. beautifully as a writer in this book is. that we really go back with you. Like. we're really there in that environment. Like it it almost feels like I'm. watching the movie, right? So I just. want to congratulate you from a from a. writing point of view that it's it's so. strong that I really feel like I'm there. and and that's why the book is so. powerful because You know who hates that.

by the way? Is my parents. Yeah. When. they read it they're like Like we've had. so many conversations and you know, they've been so wonderfully supportive. about the book and and I definitely. couldn't have written it without them. You know, without their cooperation and. the hours and hours of sitting together. going beat by beat. You know, um you. know, the the story starts in their. infancy and their formative years in. China in the 60s and 70s. You know, I. really wanted readers to have that. perspective as well. But it's really. funny. They're like they just they read.

those parts and they're like the world. is going to hate us. Like why would you air out all of our. dirty all of the worst things that we've. ever done? And you know, I've I you. know, I've been very I've tried to be. very diplomatic with them throughout the. whole process. I'm like with the most. amount of love ever I'm like. yeah, but you did those things. And you. know, when you're when you're young too, you're so impressionable. It's like you. remember those cuts. Those and you know, and every child has. them. They're those moments where, you. know, if it if if it's a parent not.

being there when they wanted them to be. And and you know, of course no parent is. perfect and you're always going to have. those moments as a child, but they exist. and I feel like. my goal is to, you know, in telling the. story is not some sort of retribution. for the way that they treated me or. spoke to me, but it's you know, comes from this idea or responding to. this idea that so many immigrant. families will will internalize what goes. on. And it's not, you know, it it it's. not common practice for us to share.

in these in these moments, share these. memories and these stories. And what it. can create is this really isolating. environment for for the children. And. you know, and and often times for the. parents as well. You know, it. when when you come to a new country with. no support system, it can it already. feels so isolating. And so what I wanted. to do with with the book and with the. story was to show immigrant children. everywhere that they're not alone. And. that, you know, it's okay to be. vulnerable. It's okay to share. And and.

you know, there are millions and. millions more stories just just like. this. And the way out, you know, the the. way to, you know, not necessarily the. solution to all things, but certainly, you know, a step in coping is is in. sharing and in, you know, finding community and a sense of of, you. know, of of identity and commonality. Yeah, well, I think when you're sharing. your private experiences publicly, that's going to help people in turn with.

their private lives, right? Like that's. what's happening here. It's like people. being able to see like, "Yeah, that's. exactly what I had at home." Or that was. similar. What I'm really interested by. Simu is like. actually the fact that you just said. that your parents were a part of the. process. And of course you talk about. them in the book and tell their journey. To me, actually, that's a beautiful. healing story in and of itself that here. you are. airing out, as you said, dirty laundry, but actually the people all involved are.

friends and are a family. Tell us about what were some of the. steps to repairing. and amending that connection as you grew. and matured, because I think that's what. most of us need help with with our. parents is. we may even understand what they did and. why they did it, but to really have a. positive relationship with them as we. get older, that's an amazing story in. and of itself. What were some of those. early steps that you took to reflect,

repair, and amend? I would say the first. steps toward Well, first of all, to. paint the picture of what things were. like in the first couple of years when I. decided to um throw away my entire. education and pursue a career in the. arts, you can imagine um you know, my. parents were were not pleased, and there. was a there was almost like 2 years. where we rarely spoke to each other. It. was it was just very you know, things. were very tense. Um and then I I booked a show called.

Blood and Water. It was my very first, you know, series regular role. I was in. the main cast, and um. the reason I booked this role, um. you know, apart from giving a a not bad. audition, was was I was one of the only. actors in the country who could speak. Mandarin fluently. And so, I I had a. bilingual character. I was in a hotel. room in Vancouver. I had monologues and. monologues in in Chinese, and I couldn't. read. I I was I'm not literate in. Chinese, right? So, it's a very. difficult language. It's It's I think. easy to be able to speak it relatively,

impossible to learn um the word because. there's no alphabet system. It's just. really you either know the word or you. don't. And um and I needed help, so I. rang my parents up, and I was like, "You. need to You need to help me with this.". And. they very begrudgingly were you know, got on the phone with me. And I feel. like in the process of that connection. you know, the process of that of that um. you know, learning, there was a. connection that was formed. And my. parents came to understand just how hard. I was willing to work. You know, because.

I think up until that point, their. mentality was oh, Simu Simu doesn't have. the toughness. You know, he he couldn't he he wasn't. tough enough to maintain a job at you. know, Deloitte, with the accounting firm. that I worked at. Um you know, Simu just. lacks mental fortitude. And And I think. that was the first time that they had. their belief system challenged. And they. were like, "Oh, Simu's met very mentally. resilient and he is willing to work. hard. It's just that he it's you know, it's just different passions. It was. something else that was calling him.".

And from that point on, I think they. started to really buy into my career and. they started to share in the wins and. the losses. Because before then, they. didn't really care. And I'd say, "Hey.". They'd they'd be like, "What's new?" I'd. be like, "Hey, I booked I booked a. commercial. for this restaurant, you know. Uh it's. going all across Canada." And they'd be. like, "Great. So, we So, you threw away. an education in private school and 4. years of university to make commercials. for people to watch. Congratulations.". Like they were pretty savage about it.

Um so, this was the first time that they. they started to really like, you know, maybe respect my decision and what I was. doing. And um you know, shortly after. that I I. thankfully booked a show called Kim's. Convenience, which ended up being this. you know, big hit in countries all. around the world. And you know, catapulted me out of this like destitute. state of like credit card debt artistry. to you know, being kind of somewhat. middle class and and you know, just not. worried about where my my next job was. was going to come from. Um and from.

there you know, from then on, I think. they they really started to be to be. cheerleaders. But of course, you know, that doesn't. mean you know, just because there was. this an external success in our in our. lives, it doesn't necessarily mean that. the relationship is all in good, you. know? I was still very aware that I had. trauma and resentment inside me. And so, in. uh somewhere around that time, I'm not. going to say when cuz my mother's going. to murder me, but my mother turned 60. And uh. You know, she's so sensitive about it.

Oh my god, she's going to kill me. And. uh. for her 60th birthday, I was writing her. this card that was that was very kind of. just generic by all means, you know, happy birthday, I love you, that sort of. actually not I love you. Just kind of happy birthday, all that. sort of stuff. And then, I kind of. stopped myself and I was like, I there. are so many things that I want to say to. this woman, you know? And I just I can't keep going pretending. like things are fine. I felt like that. we were all just kind of in this.

playing out this this act. We were all. acting this scenario where there was. just no trauma and everything was was. all good and sunshine. And I was like, I need to I need to get. some of these thoughts down. So, instead. of this card, I actually wrote her like. a eight-page letter, you know, talking about my feelings as a. child, talking about how I always felt. inadequate, how I was constantly chasing. their expectations of me and feeling. like I was coming up short, and how. ultimately through it all, you know, now I I I understood, you.

know, that that where they where it came. from wasn't wasn't this place of malice. or evil or anything like that, but just. of of. intense anxiety and wanting the very. best for for their next generation and. and having sacrificed so much to be able. to provide that opportunity, right? So, I ended the letter with, you know, I'm. I'm so extremely grateful for everything. that you've done. I love you. We don't. say that to each other enough. I hope, you know, this will change the course of. our relationship, but even if it. doesn't, I feel like these are the words. that I need to say to you right now.

And, you know, I was very very nervous, but I put it in the envelope. I, you. know, I. handed it to her and and she read it. later that night. And, um, you know, I knew that one of. two things could have happened, right? Everything could have stayed the same, it could have been a status quo. My. mother could not have, you know, reacted. the, you know, positively. Or, she could. really take the letter, really. understand and absorb its intention, and. then, you know, join me in charting out. a new path. Because one of the other. things that I said was, "It may seem. like we've spent so many years at each.

other's throats.". Um, but we still have so much time. Mhm. You know, if we if we started today, we. still have so much time. Mhm. And, um, and my mother wrote me back, and she. said, "I've been I've been crying. I've. been, you know, sitting with this. letter, and I'm I'm ready to join you.". And. that really was the moment that our. relationship stopped being, you know, surface level, and started to. get so much deeper. And the more that.

we, you know, the more time we spent. together, the more we realized just how. much we enjoyed each other's company. I. took my mother out on a Mother's Day. date for the very first time that year, and it was like the two of us just. sitting across from each other. It's. just the most beautiful moment, um, that, you know, I I just I'm so. incredibly grateful for. Um, yeah, and. everything that's happened since, the. success, the fame, and the accolade, I. mean, that's allowed me to really fully bring. them along for the ride, and to let them. in, you know? Whereas, I feel like we.

didn't have those conversations, there. would always be a part of me that. suspected that, you know, hey, what what. would our relationship be like if that. success didn't come, if I didn't book. this role. But, I feel like, you know, because we did the work. before, um, you know, I I that there's not even a. single part of me that feels that feels. that way, you know? And instead, I'm. just focused on being able to give my. parents the best possible life in their. third act, you know, and and being able.

to for for immigrant parents who are so. who literally like even when we went to. McDonald's would would would try to. convince their son that they weren't. hungry, you know, but but would get. their son the happy meal, you know, and. would watch him eat. Like my parents. never wanted anything, you know, like. for themselves. And uh. it's just an incredible feeling to be. able to give back to them, you know, and. to and to show them the things that they. deserve to have. It's. It's really wonderful. Sameer, that's I'm so glad you went into.

that with us, man. That That is just so. wonderful to hear about the real work, and I love that you drew that important. connection that. you didn't assume that the external. success was solving the internal. problem, and that the internal needed. its own work. And I think that that. requires so much maturity because for. most people they go, "Well, once I get. this, that solves everything because now. everyone's going to be happy." And I. think that that's a very.

uh undeveloped viewpoint because they're. complete They're two completely. different things. And And actually, I. want to point out a few other things to. people who are listening. The connection you made with your. parents around learning Chinese and them. seeing how hard you had to work, I think. that that's genius is a lesson for all. of us that if your parents or your. friends or your family members don't. believe in you, they're not coming on. the journey with you, let them come on. the journey that they can understand,

right? If your parents are accountants, bring them in and have them be involved. in seeing how you're managing your. finances. If you're someone who's trying. to do something artistic, your parents. may not understand the art, but they may. understand the engineering aspect. Like. I think that is such a refreshing way to. think about it because we want to be. recognized by our parents for the art, but that's not what they understand and. appreciate. And so there's such a. brilliant lesson there for for all of us. in how we connect. And and then another.

Oh, sorry. Go on, Steven. Sorry, go. ahead. Oh, no, no, no. I was just going. to I was just going to. echo echo the importance of that and to. say, yes, like, you know, you know, parents are like we are all capable of. evolving, but only at a certain speed. Yes. And so for my, you know, for many. parents, I would say, not just mine, if. you were just to show up one day and. say, I'm going to be an actor. I'm going. to be a professional basket, you know, basketball, like that's a bit of a. mental leap. And so you do, like, you. know, maybe start to take them on that. journey or or and maybe understand that.

it's not going to happen overnight, you. know? Yes. Um our value systems are just so. different. Anyway, yeah, please go on. No, no, I I I love hearing this from. you. I I think the mistake we make is. that when we share our passion with our. parents or our family, we've already. been thinking about it for 3 years. And. we just told them in 3 minutes. So now. we're expecting them in 3 minutes to. catch up with our 3 years of thinking, and that just doesn't correlate. That. doesn't correspond. And I love I really,

really appreciate how you've thought. about this and and how you've made their. choices. I never The funny thing is I. don't know if you know this, I spent 3. years working at Accenture. So I before. I did Yeah, so when you said Deloitte, I. was like, I know exactly what that looks. like. I was a consultant at Accenture. So when you said Deloitte, I was like, I. know exactly what the world looks like. When you told your friends or your. colleagues at Deloitte that you were. going to make a career switch, what was their reaction then? And are. you in touch with any of them now? And.

and tell us about that journey from a. friend's point of view. You know, you. know what's really funny? I I don't I I. I don't keep in touch with like a single. person. almost a single person from that entire. kind of business school era of my life, right? Which was like the you know, the. latter half of college as we were. kicking off recruiting and you know, it. was like so so you know, Jay having. worked at Accenture, which by the way is. a very prestigious consulting firm for.

anybody who who who doesn't know. You know, there's a bit of a hierarchy. at business school and it's like you you. know, you all get together, you talk you. know, you you learn, you talk about you. do cases. I'm sure you did case studies. and all that and then you know, after. when when it starts. getting to time to recruit for summer. internships and full-time jobs, it's. like investment bankers, management. consultants, everything else and then. you know, accountants at the at the very bottom. So I was already like my marks were not.

good in business class. I was not the. guy that read the Wall Street Journal. every day. You know, just like woke up every day. passionate about capital markets or. about you know, corporate strategy. I was the guy that that went home and. played video games with his roommate cuz. I just like. wasn't engaged. And and so yeah, I just. felt like I was constantly a fish out of. water for that entire period of my life. And the day I got laid off at Deloitte, you know, I remember very vividly again.

We all remember our traumas and I. remember going into my managing. partner's office. I remember the woman. from HR that that was like standing next. to him and then the moment where he was. like we're going to terminate we're here. to terminate your employment and then. the HR lady stepping in and and saying. you we're going to give you 10 minutes. to collect your things and we're going. to escort you back into the into the you. know, the office and and of course it's. an open concept office. So everybody can. see. But we're going to escort you there. so you can you know, pack up your final. things and I remember you know, walking.

back out onto the floor and not a single. person made eye contact with me, spoke. with me, you know, people that I thought. were my friends and I don't necessarily. put that blame on them. I mean, obviously, there is just a really. awkward moment, and they probably were. just like, "Oh my god, I can't believe. this is happening.". But, um that was it. That was my goodbye. to a lot of those people was like, I. would looked around, nobody said. anything. Everyone's heads were down. They just like wanted to pretend like it.

wasn't happening. And so, in complete. and utter silence, I packed up my. things, and then and then I left. And it. was almost like that There's such a such. a clean break. Um I did run into. somebody I used to work with, um a few. months later, or I'd say maybe like a. year later, when I was, you know, just. starting out as an actor. And I'm And of course, auditioning more. than I was working, getting rejected. more than I was getting hired. I And as. one of my other jobs to kind of, you.

know, pay the bills, I. I was handing out dog food uh samples on. the on the on the side of the street. And that job took me into the financial. district near where I used to work. And. um this fellow was on his lunch break, and ran into and kind of tapped me on. the shoulder and was like, "Simu?". And, you know, he had been like. promoted. I could tell by his suit that. he was like, you know, he he he's at. least a manager. And I was I was handing. out dog food. And um that was a That was. a really hard moment for me. I had to. come home and like, you know, it was.

like a re- re-evaluate all your life. choices moment. But, thankfully, you. know, I think I had become so happy with. the person that even if I wasn't getting. the work necessarily, I was so happy. with the person that I became. Right? Out of the shell of somebody who just. didn't care about anything, couldn't. seem to find any sort of motivation in. life, came this person who was just like. hungry every single day, ready to attack. the day, and um was even willing to uh. you know, hand out dog food samples uh.

to be able to support that dream. That. That's what I'm hearing when I'm. speaking to you about this today. And of. course, when I was reading the book and. when we've had interactions before, what's really clear for me today is even. though in the book you talk about how. you wanted to always find approval and. validation from your parents and other. people, what I'm actually feeling when. I'm hearing you today is that you've. kind of had to do that for yourself the. whole time because there hasn't always. been that external validation. So at.

least from our conversation today, what. I'm garnering is that at every step you. validated yourself because no one was. there to validate you. Would you say. that's true? Would you say that that was. part of building that confidence in who. you were no matter the external position. of your journey? I mean, yeah, absolutely. Um, you know, I I wasn't you. know, and I I don't necessarily think. I'm the most confident person in the. world. I think I struggle especially. like you you want to know what imposter. syndrome feels like? Try being me at the.

Oscars for the first time. That is a. crazy environment to be in. And all of a sudden you're looking at. everyone around you and you're like, "Oh. my god, what am I doing here?". But um, you know, I would say this. I spent so. much of my life. trying to live up to somebody else's. definition of success. What what, you. know, trying to be somebody else's. definition of successful. Whether it was. my parents, whether you know, in some. cases even my friends. You know, I have. a a lot of friends who went into law and.

medicine and management consulting. Um, and um, and you know, I really it it wasn't. until I had that rock bottom moment that. I said, you know, that none of that is. working. I can't live for someone else. As much as I can be grateful for what my. parents have done for me, I cannot. surrender my then surrender my own life. in service of what they did, you know? I. have to live for myself. And once I made. that that and I focused and I became.

more I mean I honestly became more. self-centered, became more selfish. Um. you know, I felt like a new life started to kind. of come out of me. And it it is to this. day the best thing that's that's ever. happened. What what are some of your daily, weekly, monthly, yearly habits or. practices that you've done to kind of. build that resilience and mindset. because I feel like. you know, it's you've you've made that.

decision and then like you said, you. have to build around that decision. It's. not just oh yeah, I'm going to become a. movie star. You know, it's it's not as. basic as that and it isn't how you talk. about it either. Talk to us about some. of those habits, practices. You spoke. about manifestation earlier. Like tell. us about some of those concrete examples. of things that you've done that you. think have been really integral to. getting to where you are today, which I. believe is truly just the beginning of a. whole another journey. But you know, you've you've been on this massive. journey to get here and I still feel.

like you know, there's just so much more. for you to uncover. I'm sure you feel. that way and that's what I felt from the. book too. Like but tell us about some of. the ones that have worked so far. It is so important in in my line of work. specifically, but all in all lines of. work really to identify. what is in your control and what is not. And if you're going to base your success. on factors that are outside of your. control, then I believe that you are. setting yourself up for failure. And not. the good kind of failure, the kind of.

failure that you learn from and you. evolve from and you think critically. about, but failure like you know, you're. going to just wonder where the time went. and you're going to wonder why you never. got your opportunity, right? And so I. you know, having an internal locus of. control and being hyper-focused on the. things that are within your grasp, it. has been the the critical critical. factor of success over when I look at. the last 10 years of my life. And and as. an actor, this is so hard because so. much of, you know, career progression.

for a lot of us on the surface looks. like, "Okay, we go into acting class. We. we I, you know, work on our craft, and. then we get an agent." And if you get an. agent, there's this expectation that an. agent is going to do a lot of the. legwork for you, is going to set up an. audition, is going to help you book a. job. And so, I feel like it's a very. dangerous place to be in when you start. to place When you start to offload that. responsibility to an agent, who a third. party, who maybe doesn't have your best. interest in mind. I mean, that's the way.

it's supposed to work, but an agent. is worried about so many other things. They might be focused on a client that. is earning more than you. They might. just be focused on protecting their own. relationships because, you know what? Actors come and go in the industry, but. an agent, you know, has relationships. with casting directors and with studios, and that becomes the more important. thing. Those are the people that, you. know, at the end of the day pay them, um in in my opinion at least. Um and so, the idea of for me of waiting for the. phone to ring.

um for my agent to give me my next. opportunity felt like death. And so, for. me, you know, from day one, I had it in. my mind that I was going to create. I. was going to be a creator. You know, I. was going to be um somebody who wasn't. just like acting in front of a screen. So, screenwriting was something that I. tried to develop in myself very early. on. You know, I I I couldn't take a lot. of, you know, usable skills. I couldn't. salvage a lot of usable skills from. business school, but I feel like my.

writing was maybe one of them. And so, um you know, I just I just wrote. I. wrote and wrote and wrote, and I wrote. some of the worst scripts you'll ever. read, um but I I constantly put myself. in in situations where I could um be a a. a more self-sufficient artist rather. than somebody who is dependent. And that. led me to apply for production, you. know, conservatories and intensives, you. know, one of my one of my most.

fulfilling experiences was with this. company called the Reel Asian. International Film Festival in in. Toronto. And and what the film festival. did every year was they had. a filmmaking collective. So they. accepted, you know, people under 25. years of age and they basically ran them. through. you know, what it what it meant to write. a script, what it meant to crew, you. know, to crew a production, to find a. DP, to you know, take. a film project from pre-production.

through to principal photography, through to post-production, how to do. basic editing and mix sound. And from. there, I you know, I really came out of. it feeling like, okay, I hold the keys. to my destiny. Of course, the way the things played. out, I had a few lucky breaks along the. way. There is no getting to this level. without, you know, pretty significant amount of luck. But. that being said, you know, I I have. always believed that luck is is, you. know, where where preparation meets. opportunity and I wanted to be as.

prepared as I possibly could be. And so. for me that meant, yeah, that meant. doing the things around being an actor, you know, whether that was production, whether that was screenwriting, or you. know, even honestly, even doing stunts. At one point, I was like a substitute. stuntman. I. wasn't incredible at it, but you know, I. was just trying to find different ways. to diversify my revenue stream and to. find just pay me to do something in the. industry. I'll do it. And and. I feel like, you know, people would ask.

me all the time, well, what if you don't. make it, Simu? And my answer I was. always like, don't you see, I'm making. it. I'm making it right now. Look at all. the stuff that I'm doing. There's, you. know, I don't know whether I'm going to. make it as an actor or as a as a shooter. or as a you know, as a production guy or. even as a stuntman, but I've got all. these things going for me. You know, I'm and I feel like I'm. filling up my days with meaningful work. rather than just waiting and waiting for. something that I have no control over.

I love hearing that. I'm so glad that. you. you brought that up because I think so. often we get so fixated on we get so. fixated on I want to do this or I want. to be this and if it's not that, I don't. want to do anything. And that mindset. pushes that dream away. Like you get. further and further and further away. because actually if you're in and around. the circles of that journey, you get. closer and closer and closer and closer.

And and I think that that that switch. you just made and you've talked about. and to hear that you had to do that, I I. genuinely love hearing that because. whenever I'm speaking to someone too, I'll say the same thing to them. It's. like be around the industry, be in the. industry, somehow be in those spaces and. those rooms because then it's more then. you're closer to where you want to be. rather than just saying, well, I only. want to be a movie director, but I'm not. ready to direct a ad or a commercial. And it's like that doesn't that doesn't. work like that. So, you know, I think.

that's a huge huge lesson amazing. advice. Simu, you've been so generous with your. time. You've been. you've been so kind. I know it's late in. London. I want everyone to know right. now it's like 7:00 p.m. in London. 8. hours ahead where Simu is right now. So, he's been doing this at the end of his. day after a busy day. so that we can make this happen. I'm in. LA. So, our 8 hour gap. Jay, it's a pleasure. Don't even No, no, I want to I just want to acknowledge and. recognize you, man. Like I I I.

understand how how busy you're working. out there. You're not you're not there. on vacation. And so, we end every On Purpose. interview with the final five and these. have to be answered in one word or one. sentence maximum. So, you can do one. word to one sentence. So, Simu, these are your final five. The first question is what is the best. advice you've ever received or heard? Good things come to those who do.

Ah, I like that. Nice. We've never had. that. It's a great one. Okay, second question. What is the worst. advice you've ever received or heard? Good things come to those who wait. Nice answer. All right. Question number. three. What's the How would you define. your current purpose in life? You want. me to answer that in one word or one. sentence? Um Yeah, yeah, you can you can. play with it. You can be You can take. your time. Yeah, you can be You can take. your time. You've been good so far. You've been like You've been killing. these two questions already. They're. like.

And then they got. They got harder. Um Yeah. My current purpose, um. it's to. it's to amplify. uh. voices of color. Mhm. It's to champion. projects, um you know, featuring myself. or otherwise that I believe. um speak to, similar to my book, um you know, the the stories of. immigrants, the stories of people who. have been traditionally. underrepresented, who have traditionally.

not been uh given a voice. And to and to be a a a living example. of, you know, of. of the importance of diversity and the. importance of inclusion. And um not just. as an actor, but, you know, as we've. talked about, um being a a. multi-disciplinary and being a producer, you know, and being being somebody who. who can really affect the way the. decisions are made in Hollywood. I love that, man. All right. Question.

number four. What's the first thing you. do in the morning and the last thing you. do every night? I am so bad with mornings. Go for it. Tell us. I'm not a good. morning person. That's what probably the first thing I. do in the morning is wish I could go. back to sleep. Yeah. Yeah, that's great. Um the last thing I do every night. what I. I brush I brush my teeth. That's lame. Yeah. That's cool. That's That's cool. That's good. my teeth. I think about I think I think about my.

lessons of the day. If I have What What. What What did this day teach me? Yeah. That's a great one. We never had that. too. I love that. Uh fifth and final question. I'll put. you out of your misery. Fifth and final question. If you could create one law. or one habit that everyone in the world. had to follow every day, what would it. be? Write down the five people. that you most want to speak to to pick. their brain and message all five of.

them. I love that. That's a That's a. great tip. Never had that before. I love. that. There There is, you know, the one you know, it's like the other. part of like the be self you know, be. self-sufficient, be a creator is also. this recognition that you actually can't. do it yourself. Yes. And And in order for you to be, you. know, a creative you you have to find. the people around you and you have to. steal ideas from people that you admire. and you have to look at other, you know, ways in which people have found success. and cross-reference against that. That.

is so critically important. I feel like. for sometimes there's a sense, you know, to put for us, we maybe romanticize. putting blinders on and just saying, "I'm working on my grind. I don't need. anybody else. It's just going to be me.". That's never going to happen, especially. in the arts. You need to constantly be. talking to people that you admire, perspectives that you want to hear. You know, that's the only way that you. learn and that you evolve. This has been. way longer than one sentence. It's a. good answer, though. It's a good answer.

No, it's a good answer. Simu, the book. is out. It's called We Were Dreamers. We. Were Dreamers is the name of the book. Highly recommend you go and grab a copy. We will put the link in the caption, the. bio, everywhere. An immigrant superhero. origin story. Simu Liu, it's been so fun talking to. you, man. I'm so grateful that I. actually got to do this with you because. the opportunity to sit down and and. peruse through your book, the. opportunity to sit down and have this. conversation with you, I already.

respected you so much from our meetings. and conversations when we bump into each. other at things, but. I genuinely am so happy that I've got to. learn about your story. I can't wait for. everyone. We just shared like the tip of. the iceberg of the stories. Please go. grab the book. Simu, any final words, any last messages, anything that's on. your mind or heart? I'll say this. I'll. say this. Um. regardless of where your parents came. from, what their story is, um. you know, you belong. You belong. You. belong. And and you deserve to be to.

feel proud of where you came from, and. you deserve to take up space and to be. unapologetic about it. And, you know, for for me that was a long it took a. long way for me to get there, but um. you know, if I could if I could leave. you with one parting thought, it's it's. just just feel feel proud. Feel proud. and and feel like you don't don't feel. like you have to apologize for the color. of your skin, language that you speak, anything. I love that. That is a great message to. end on. Simu, thank you so much. Make. sure when you're listening and watching,

everyone, make sure you tag us both on. Instagram, on Twitter, on any social. media platform you're using because I. love to see what resonates with you, what connects with you. And please go. show that On Purpose love to Simu. Make. sure he feels the positive energy from. all of our listeners. Simu, you've been. incredible. I hope you have a amazing rest of your. visit to London, my hometown. And I. can't wait to hang out with you when. you're back in LA, man. But thank you so. much. for your time today. I really appreciate. it. Thank you. Thank you. I'm still waiting. on your list of restaurant reccos. Oh.

yeah. Okay. Okay. I'll send them over. right now. I'll send them over right. now. All right. Thank you so much. If you. want even more videos just like this. one, make sure you subscribe and click. on the boxes over here. I'm also excited. to let you know that you can now get my. book Think Like a Monk from. thinklikeamonkbook.com. Check below in the description to make. sure you order today.