Lily Singh ON: If You're Feeling Depressed, Sad, Or Anxious, WATCH THIS! | Jay Shetty

I never want to be in the position of. life where things don't excite me or. make me nervous. I never want to stop. caring. If I'm not super nervous, that. means I don't care about the outcome and. I always want to care about the outcome. Out of all your successes, all your. achievements, what's been the most. meaningful thing for you? Ooh, that's a. tough question. Besides this moment. right here sitting with you. Um, this, you know, I used to be. embarrassed with this answer, but I've. decided I'm now deciding I'm not. embarrassed by this answer. This is my. answer, okay. My answer is collaborating. with The Rock. That is honest and I know.

that seems kind of like surface level. basic, but I'll tell you why. When I was. younger, he was my biggest inspiration. Like I wish I could take you back to. little Lilly's bedroom with posters of. The Rock all over. My first email. address was the rock 85@hotmail.com. I. was just obsessed. On the announcements. when they'd call my name in elementary. school, they'd say Lilly The Rock Singh. Like literally it was an obsession. So, they always say don't meet your idols. because they might not be who you want. them to be. He is so incredible and not. only getting to work with him and meet. him, but just having him as a mentor who.

kind of like guides me, gives me advice, it's been a dream come true to know that. this person I looked up to for so long. is such a great human being. Yeah, and. that's really important to me. And. that's the I think that's a beautiful. answer. I don't judge you for it at all. I think it's incredible when your. 15-year-old self would high-five you for. something, right? Like yeah, it's like. that's amazing. And it's not only the. vanity of like he's so cool and famous. and The Rock and he's so hot. He's very. hot. But it's also just like oh, this. person has proven to you that you can. work really hard and be really. successful, really rich, really famous,

but really nice. And I think that's the. greatest lesson he taught me is you can. still be a good person even if you have. all those things. And you've built a. real relationship with him. Like that's. the most special thing too. I feel like. Yeah, my goal is just to build enough of. a relationship with him where in our. next life we get married. So, I'm really. trying to like pave that foundation. I. love it. It seems to be going well. I. mean, yeah. Yeah. I'm I feel good about. it. I love it. I used to be a huge Rock fan, too. I I reading his autobiography. Yeah, still is. I mean like when I was. 15, 16, I remember reading his.

autobiography and just being blown away. 100% I had it too. I wrapped it in Saran. Wrap. You did? Okay, I didn't go that far. But. I remember it being one of It was one of. the first books I actually read. Yeah. And and it was just. Same actually. Yeah, and it was just And I only read it. because I was so into wrestling and I. was like, "Oh wow, let me get this. book." And it was just mind-blowing. I. couldn't believe it that there was so. much to someone that I just saw as a. wrestler. Mhm, 100%. Amazing. We love you, The. Rock. We love you. This is This is why. I'm here. Yeah, this is why this podcast. is dedicated to The Rock. All right. No, I love it. Awesome. No, and that's a. great answer. Thank you for being so.

honest. It's a great answer. And and it. is beautiful to see your childhood. dreams come true or dreams that you. never saw. part of this whole journey, truly. Nothing fulfills me like when I can hear. the little Lily inside me going, "Oh my. god, I can't believe you're doing that.". I never want to be in the position of. life where things don't excite me or. make me nervous. People ask me all the. time, like, "Are you still nervous. before you go on stage or are you still. nervous to shoot with this person or. meet with this person?" I hope for as. long as possible my answer can be yes. Because if it's not, then like, what's. the point? I want to be nervous and. exciting. I like the There's the.

challenges of life disappearing, you. know? Yeah, I love that. I was so. nervous when we came to film the collab. over Christmas. stop with me. Get out of here. I was so. nervous. I was like, "I've loved you for. so long. I've watched all your videos. for so long. Like you're a pro." And I. was just like literally Jay came to my. house and literally did 100 times better. than me and was 100 times more. professional. That's what happened, truly. Not at all. But no, I believe in that as. well. Like even now when I'm speaking. and I've keynoting has been probably the. biggest part of my life for the last 13. years. And every time I go on stage like. someone said to me, "Are you nervous?". I'm like, "Yes, I'm nervous." I totally.

get what you're saying. care. I never want to stop caring. If. I'm not super nervous, that means I. don't care about the outcome and I. always want to care about the outcome. I. love that. And I and I completely agree. with you. Totally aligned. I wanted to. go back a bit. Where I'm I was a monk. You are a monk and I'm not. I am a monk. We're the same level of wokeness. That's. what I really want you to take away from. this. Yeah, I want everyone to take that. away from this. I agree. But Jay came to. my house and did a B2K move. He came. doing this weird thing with his hands.

and like Weird. Why do you keep doing. this? And sorry, WE WENT. HE KEPT DOING THIS COOL thing with his. hands and I was like, "What are you. doing? Can you just do it again for a. second?". No, I can't I can't do it with a mic in. front of me. It's harder. excuse. You can You can. And then he's like, "It's a B2K move.". And I'm like, we're we're going to we're best friends. Yeah, and the Simpsons and so many other. things. Anyway, anyway, anyway, yeah, back to. you. Back to you. I want to go back. because I know you've talked about this. I've heard you talk about it in. different places. I think it's important. for us to do this thing as we both share. Asian parents. Mhm. I want to talk about your.

relationship with your parents and how. that has evolved over the years of. seeing you start doing something that. was obviously not something that Asian. parents wish their kids to do. Oh yeah, no, they were thrilled. Yeah, to now to now them being famous. from it. Right. Right? Well, I mean, when I first told. my I would say, I'm very fortunate. because when I first told my parents I. want to make YouTube videos, they just didn't understand what I. meant. You know, they weren't like, "No, there's no way. You're not allowed.". They didn't give me the typical answer. of what will people think, which is. generally what Asian people say. Sure.

They were just confused. They're like, "What do you mean?" And I said, "There's. this site called YouTube. I'm making. videos. Give me a year." They said you. have a year to try this out. If it. doesn't work, we want you to go to. graduate school, but you have a year. So, that gave me a a countdown to really. just teach myself how to edit, teach. myself how to use a camera. I I have a. degree in psych, so I didn't know how to. do any of this stuff. Slowly I. researched, figured out how to edit on. iMovie, like I was made a tripod out of. books, did all of the things. Fortunately, it went somewhere. And so, my parents are very supportive now today.

because it went somewhere, but I've. always said my parents never said no to. me doing this. And that's a really big. deal because it's scary. You know, I. always say parents just want to make. sure you're going to be okay. Mhm. You. know, when I was younger, I was like, "My parents just don't want me happy. That's why they say no." But no, when. you grow up, you realize your parents. just want you to be okay. They want to. know that we came to this country. I. want to make sure she's going to have a. good living and be financially stable, and that's all they're concerned about, really. And once they saw that I could. be, they were like, "Okay, we can stop.

stressing out about this.". Yeah, I love that. And we need more. parents to be that way, I guess. Yeah. I. love the idea of them just giving you a. win-win. it's I honestly think it goes two ways, though. And I think this has come with. age, like I said, really putting. yourself in your parents' shoes is. something that I learned, especially. when I moved to LA. You know, I was the. first person in my family to move to. another country for work. It's not. because I got married, it was for work. And so, that was a really big deal, especially as an Indian woman, a huge, huge deal. And the more I had to And the more I. grew up and the more I moved away from.

my family, I realized why they do the. things they do, why they say the things. they do, and why they think the way they. think. And it's They're from a different. time and place, and they're honestly. trying their best. And they've done a. great job. So, when every time we do. have a little bit of friction, I have to. remember that. this is all very different from what you. were used to. So, I get why me making. videos on the internet is scary. Like, I. have to accept that, you know. You're so. woke. I try. See, here we go. This is I think what. you're saying is so beautiful. There's. There's an amazing statement that I. remember. I can't remember where it's. from, but it's. the day you realize your parents are.

right, your kids are telling you that. you're wrong. No, no, and my mom always used to say that to. me. She was like, "Wait until you have. kids. You're going to see." And And now. I have a dog, so I get it because. sometimes I'll be arguing with him, and. he's telling me things, and I'm like, "Oh my god, my mom was right about. this." So, I get it. But, I love that refreshing perspective. I I think you're spot-on, as well. Like, I was very fortunate my parents have. always been extremely open to every one. of my decisions, even when I talked. about becoming a monk, and then people. were like, "Well, your parents not just". And I was like, "Actually, they weren't. They were just like, make sure you take. care of your health, and make sure you.

take care of yourself." Like, it was so. much more open than you'd believe. Right. And you're right, when you grow up, you. you start valuing that. No, 100%. Thank you for that lesson. course. You're You're. You're like You're like dropping lessons. here and. And I think anytime I talk about my. parents, like always without a doubt, get people commenting being like, "Well, my parents just don't get it. My parents. would never support it." And I don't. want to sit here and pretend like I know. everyone's parents or I know your. situation. There very well may be a. situation where the reality of the. situation is maybe yeah, sometimes the.

people closest to you can be toxic for. your life. I'm very aware of that. reality. But, I do think it's worth that. effort and that genuine effort to really. get to understand why your parents are. the way they are. I think it's it really. helps you understand yourself as well. I. love that. I really do think that. So, I'm not encouraging anyone to be in a. situation that's like toxic to them. But, I just know when I recall from my. teenage years, I used to write off. things as toxic all the time. Be like, "They just don't get it." Without. actually even trying to understand. Mhm. Put yourself in your in their shoes. before you write it off. That's great.

advice. I love that. I love that. And I. guess it's so much more. healing and liberating, too, to do it. that way around rather than just be. like, "Everyone hates me. Like, my. parents hate me." Exactly. Whatever you. say is true. I've always said you can. build your universe. So, if you say. everyone hates me, then yeah, everyone. hates you. Yeah. You know, that is what. it is. How did you get so wise? You. know, Tumblr quotes. No, I've had I've had many. opportunities in life to dive deep into. my soul. So, I think I've done that. several times. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me about.

some of that. I'm going to dive into. that. you know, the reason I started making. YouTube videos in 2010 was because I was. a very sad person. I was at the end of. my university career. I was getting a. psych degree. I didn't like what I was. doing in school. My whole life I was. believe like I was taught to okay, you're going to go to university, then. you're going to get out of university, you might go to graduate school or you. might get a job, then you'll get. married, then you'll have kids, and I. just couldn't grasp that very linear way. of living. And so, when I was at the end. of my university career, I was like, "Oh, well, I'm not ready to do any of. those things and I actually have no idea.

what I want to do." And so, I was in a. very dark just sad place. And so, my career on YouTube was founded me. really digging inside myself and trying. to find something that made me happy. Mhm. So, the only reason I made YouTube. videos because it made me happy, not. because of views or money. That wasn't a. thing. 2012. a thing, yeah. That wasn't a thing. It. was literally to make myself happy. Yeah. So. And when I look at you and and. you can see that, it's like, what's kept. you going that long? Because that's the. beauty of it, right? Like, then you did. it to make you happy, and I know that. that's still a big part of your life. today. Right. But like, what I admire about you.

the most is like, you're still doing it. And that's harder. Yeah, I think you. know, I've really analyzed what it is. Yeah. because here, if I'm being really. honest, thing isn't good. I've honestly learned. that. I loved making YouTube videos, I. still do, but then I got to a point in. my life where I made so many and it. became such a business and such an. overbearing job where I was like, it's not as fun and I'm not enjoying it. as much, and I think that happens to. everyone when your passion and your job. kind of collide like that. Mhm. But, I forgot where I was going cuz I. instantly got stressed. I was like, "OH.

MY GOD, MY LIFE IS IN SHAMBLES." BUT, I. think what it is is that why I've kept. going for so long is I'm really obsessed. with the idea of growth. It's always. been a thing. I really like challenging. myself, I like growing, and so now that. I've, you know, I did the eye movie. thing, now my life is kind of like, "Can. I build a team?" And you know how. passionate I am about my team as well. And this, "Can I build a business now? Can I now increase my social good. efforts?" It's always about just growing. in some capacity. So, I really think. that this desire to not waste time and. not waste opportunities and not waste.

this life is honestly what drives me. Because I know what it feels like to not. like life. Yeah. So, I don't want to go. back to that place, I think is what. drives me. That's awesome. No, it's so. true. If you're not moving forward, you. have to move backwards. Yeah. So, it's that kind of experience. of like. what you said. What you said is my. answer. You gave a much better answer. I love. your answers. Your answers are amazing. It's like, it's it's it's amazing. because it's it's honest. Like, when I'm. hearing you, it's it's great to hear a. creator say, "I stopped loving creating. and so I shifted." Like, it's amazing. here you being that vulnerable and.

honest and open, and we all going to get. into that about you know the recent. break you took from YouTube and. everything like for me I fell in love. with you more when you said that. Like I. was just like that's so special for. someone to say that. Like even even me. sometimes like when I'm saying no to. things that I say no to now for before I. say no I have to just say wait a minute. I would have died to get this. opportunity one day and I have to just. be grateful before I say no because it's. like if I just say no and I'm like oh. yeah now now it doesn't matter it's like. you're losing that part of your life. that when it once upon a time this is.

what you wanted right? Right. And it's such human nature. I. feel like so much of my job is. recognizing human nature and then. developing habits that literally go. against it. Mhm. That's a prime example. Same with. me there's so many opportunities that. come my way where I'm like oh I don't. want to do this or I don't want to I. don't I don't want to travel to this. place where before I would be like. dying. The first person that ever hired. me international was actually London. First place that ever hired me. international I was over the moon that. someone would want me to travel and now. I hear myself being like oh my god a.

trip to. some beautiful place that sounds. exhausting. So I had to like stop myself. to be like woah you're being ungrateful. and you need to put yourself back get a. gain a healthy perspective because human. nature does allow us to get used to. everything. You'll get used to. everything. You take a hundred trips to. a vacation destination you're going to. be like oh I'm sick of it. Something you. would have really died to do before and. so I really think a lot of my job is. just checking myself in those moments. and being like don't do this don't go to. this natural pattern of just becoming.

ungrateful. Yeah and for anyone listening and. watching right now that's an awesome. tip. Like that's an awesome tip awesome. insight and just whenever you catch. yourself getting used to something. familiar to something a person a place. something happening in your life. whatever it may be just catch yourself. Yeah. And just switch it. Catching yourself is half the battle. No. one's perfect but catching yourself. that's that's where the real honesty. comes in. Yeah absolutely. Yeah just being aware. Yeah absolutely and I you were talking. about social good and I wanted to talk. about that for a bit because. and and you've got to remember like for. me this is an interesting interview.

because even though we only met last. year, for me it's like yeah, I've been. watching you for so long. So it's it's a. very The fans are the best. For me it's. it's it's that's an interesting point. because I've been kind of been watching. from a big distance. Like we didn't know. anyone we didn't have any friends in. common. We haven't known each other. And and I just I was like wow, like. she's using what she's doing for social. good. And I I I would love that. I was. like wow, like you're using your. platform for a higher purpose when you. don't have to. Whether it's Girl Love, whether it's UNICEF, like all the. amazing work you've done. Tell me where. that started. Like where did that come.

about in the whole Lilly Singh journey. and world? And and how did it become. such an integral part? Yeah, you know, I. when I first started to realize that. people were calling me their role. models, I remember I sat down with. myself and I was like interesting. People are calling me their role model. I don't How do I feel about this? And I. made a rule for myself that was you will. never do anything. that's not genuine to be perceived as a. role model. That was a very big rule for. my sanity. I was like you can't Your job. is so 24/7, you can't start being like I.

believe in this this this to be a role. model if you actually don't. So my. rule's always been to be myself. Having. said that, when I garnered such a large. audience and I understood that I had an. influence, I was like well, I have the. opportunity to also do something. positive with this. And I feel in my. heart that if I don't do something. positive with it, it's just a wasted. opportunity. Now add that with the. grudge on my shoulder from being an. Indian woman, and you have this really large desire to. help issues around gender equality. I. think that's where my heart lies the. most. A lot of my work is around.

girls being able to go to school and. girls having equal rights in parts of. the world and access to health care and. all that stuff. That comes from the fact. that, you know, when I was born, a lot. of people were unhappy with having an. Indian girl, especially cuz I have an. older sister, so we're a family of two. sisters. And so many people were so sad. at my birth, literally. Um and so I've. had that grudge on on shoulder, and I. know that quite transparently. I can say. that very honestly. My whole life has. kind of been a little bit of a I'm going. to prove you wrong and I'm going to and. I always say, don't work hard to prove.

people wrong, prove your lovers right. instead. I always believe in that. Having said that, there's still a lot of. people suffering because girls are born. and and so I I do feel a strong passion. in my heart to do something with the. following I have. Mhm. You know, I I. think that's the the greatest when you. go back to one of my greatest. achievements, the one that's not as. shiny as the rock. is actually when I announced my world. tour, the first one, A Trip to Unicorn. Island, I made sure I did it in India. first. That was important for me to. announce it in India, my parents'. motherland, and I went to Punjab to.

visit my dad's dad, um my grandfather, and he greeted me. with like flower garlands and he said. something to me where I was like, "Whoa." Probably met him like three. times in my life, maybe, and he goes, "You know, I was wrong. You are the. girl, the person, and a girl in our. family who has had the most success out. of and that was like a huge statement. for him to make because I remember what. it was like for my mom when I was born. and so I don't remember, she's told me. But yeah, so that was a really big. achievement for me. That's huge. Yeah. And I it was awesome. I like felt.

it for my mom. My mom was like, "Damn straight.". You know, and so like I have that force where my. mom like was like, "No, I have a second. daughter and like she's going to be. awesome." and she believed in me and I. just hope I've done justice to that. I. think you've done so much more. I think. it's amazing to see someone. defy cultural. Mhm. traditions and someone who's. especially I didn't realize that it was. that like somewhat closed off when you. were born as well around the belief of. having a girl that's a relief like blown. out of the water. even me like.

I I you know, I was just working on a. writing a script and that's when I. really like dived into my childhood and. I was like, "Well, I had my wedding. entrance song picked out before I knew. what I wanted to do in life." Like. that's not who I am today, but as a. young girl that was true and it it just. goes to show how much it was bedded in. my mind that my. optimal achievement would be getting. married. You know what I mean? And so. and so I just don't want to continue. that path. So whatever I can do with my. following to teach young girls that. you can get married, that's great,

congratulations, that's fine, but that. doesn't have to be your. defining moment, you know what I mean? And I think that's important. I agree. Tell me about some of the. stories of. the girls you've worked with and amazing. things that have happened or. Oh my god, I've you know what? Every. time I meet a young girl so I've had the. opportunity to go to so many parts of. Africa, specifically in South Africa, so. many parts of India, and I meet these. young girls and they tell me these. stories and I'm like, "Whoa, like you. are way more powerful and cool than I. will ever be, truly." Cuz they do some. like awesome, awesome stuff. I just met.

a girl recently. who talked about the fact that in the. community she lived in in South Africa, they didn't have a certain program in. her school, and so she walked to whoever. was in charge of this I mean, forgive my. lack of terminology, of whoever was in. charge of whatever that school board. was, like 17 hours to go there. And then. when she went there, they're like, "Yeah, we'll look into this case and. we'll get back to you." And they never. did. So she walked back of like, there's. girls doing amazing things in the world.

that I'm just blown away by. And it's. even more inspiring to me when I hear. these stories cuz I think. if all of you had opportunities that we. all have, like think about the the space. the world would be in right now. All of. these amazing people that don't have the. resources and don't have the. opportunity, it's just they need it. The. world would Think about how many cures. we would have, how many more inventions. we would have, how many solutions we. would have if all those people with. brilliant ideas were empowered with. resources. Especially because they've. seen pain so first hand. 100%. Right? Yeah, I couldn't agree with you. more. That's a beautiful point and and.

that's it's great that you're using your. voice and platform and that they're. getting a voice from it, too. Yeah, that's honestly what I want to do. It's not even about like Girl Up being. Lilly is the champ it's. the people People the really good ideas, I want to just lift their voices cuz I. have the platform to do it. It's not. about my ideas, it's not about my. beliefs, it's not about me. It's really. about just lifting the voices that don't. have a platform. Absolutely. Yeah, I was. I interviewed one girl recently who. actually doesn't even know her actual. age because she escaped from a child. slavery like space. And I interviewed.

her on the podcast and I was just like. blown away. Like, you know, being put. into that terrible position and from day. one not knowing your age, like never. knowing who your real family are, like. not even having people to trust, and. actually not even knowing that you're in. a bad space. And then running away, you. know, like being able. Yeah, that's real. Not even knowing. you're in a bad space. Yeah, as in not even knowing that that's. bad because that has become your. normality. Right. Right? It's crazy. But yeah, thank you for everything you're doing. though. And and. it's a it's truly a team effort. It's. truly it's it's not only myself and my.

team, but it is very much so my. following as well because I know that. there's so many. fan bases online that. really want entertainment, really want. to laugh, my honest like that, but they. really care as well. They really anytime. I do a campaign whether it's a Girl Love. or with UNICEF or with We, they are. really behind it. And so my following is. a lot to thank as well. Yeah, yeah. Thank you for having attracting such an. amazing following. Yeah. Thank. you. Thank I absolutely love it. So I. want to. And also, my posture's horrible. So if. you're watching this, I I apologize. Lilly's Lilly's being comfortable. I'm.

being comfortable. I have horrible. posture. Yeah. Can you help me fix that? What do you want to do? a way to meditate my posture? can. We can talk about that. Okay. Okay, we'll talk about that. Okay. in. Yeah. All right, you have great. posture. Do I? Yeah. Oh, thank you. Mhm. I think. it's all the ballet I did as a kid. Did. you really? No. Okay. Cool. Cool. Cool. But uh. I was my my mom tried to get me into it. at one point. I feel like you'd be. really great at that for some reason. That's worrying. Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I'd be that. good at it. Next video I do, you guys comment below. But uh I want to talk to you about this, you know, recent announcement that you.

made. Mhm. around taking a break from YouTube. to take an anxious gulp of my drink. Do it. Mhm. Do it. I I when I saw you do that. and I think I reached out to you and you. did it. I was like that is extremely. brave. I thought it was super sincere. It was really genuine and I and I looked. and I was just like again you're just. being a real model like you know being. someone that people can look up to to be. able to do that. I can't imagine how. hard that is to do. Like it's it's so tough to be able to do. that and I want to acknowledge that and. I want to. recognize that. Yeah, it's so tough to.

just turn around and tell everyone that. you're doing this for that hey I'm. taking a break because I want to make. content with better quality and stuff. I'm really excited about like the way. you explained it I was just like this is. so real and and I think it's we live in. such a like clickbait world of like. people can say anything on social to get. clicks and it's like when I watched that. I was like wow this she's being so real. Like it was just so real and I and I. really want to acknowledge that and. recognize that. Thank you. I appreciate that. It was. really difficult you know especially. it was really difficult because of the. obstacles and reasons I created in my.

own mind. I my whole brand is hustle. harder, productivity everyday, do as. many things as you can and I believe. that I believe in working really hard. So for me to then turn around and be. like I'm going to take a break and not. work hard was very difficult not just. from a public standpoint but for even me. because there was a voice inside me that. was like is this because you're lazy or. is this because you're making excuses. and I had to really learn. as I talked to you earlier the word. balance. I had to understand and I think. it really hit me hard before that break.

was I'm not being the best version of. myself because I haven't given myself. that little bit of balance I need. And. so actually if I want to hustle harder I. need to take this break. That was the. biggest moment of clarity for me. And so it was really tough for myself. My fans are super supportive. But in. that break it was about a month. It. wasn't a super long break but in that. month what I allowed myself to do was. think and I know that sounds very. don't can't you think anytime but the. answer was no because my life was so. work work work work, home work be so.

tired go to sleep without addressing any. of the cloudiness I had in my brain. There was so many days where I got home. and I was like, "This thing is really on. my mind, but okay, I'll I'll deal with. it later cuz I have to do this email. I'll I'll deal with it later after I. write the script." And so, there was so. many of those I'll deal with it later. that I never dealt with the later. And so, really during my break, I just. sat and I thought, and I cleared some. stuff in my brain, and I started writing. things in my journal. And I came to the conclusion that, yeah, I could be happier if I took more time.

to create the art I'm so passionate. about. And I've made a whole bunch of. changes in my life that were prompted. from that 1-month break that I'm very. happy about. Tell me some of the personal lessons. that you garnered in that month of. things you wanted to change. Uh yeah, I. You know, it's so funny when people. Isn't it interesting when people You. probably do this all the time. When. people tell you about their problems, you give such a good answer, but you. don't apply it to yourself all the 100%. all the time, all the time. will tell me about like fatigue, and. I'll be like, "It's okay. It's okay to. take a break. It's okay to be balanced. Like, it's okay to re-energize. It's the. best part of hustling." Never did it. Yeah. Never took time for anything to do.

I got my nails done during the break, and I was like, "I am such a. well-balanced. human being right now." I tweeted about. it four times while I was getting my. nails done, ruined my nails. It was a. whole thing. But, I think the life. lesson I learned was it does not mean. you're being. unproductive if you're taking a break. Mhm. It actually helps you be more. productive. So, that is something I've. learned. I've also learned that. if you I'm big on loving yourself. I. always teach my audience that the most. the most difficult thing you can learn.

to do in life is love yourself, but it's. the most important. Mhm. Loving yourself. also means it's okay to ask for help and. say you're not okay. So, that was a big. thing. I I tweeted all about finding a. therapist and all that stuff. Where. before, it's not that I thought it was. wrong, but I think, you know, we grow up. in a culture where it's a little taboo. 100%. what I mean? You hear a lot of older. Asian people being like, "When we were. younger, we Nothing was ever wrong with. us, and we didn't need So, I think. learning that was was a big deal during. my break. And also just like putting priority into.

my relationships was something I really. And that's something I say and joke. about in my videos all the time like. haha I'm single haha I have no friends. But that's so sad. Haha I have no. friends. Haha funny. Um but I think in. that break I also learned that that. takes effort. And if I'm really honest I. am constantly surrounded by people I pay. to be near me. And so it's also a. reality of like you need to foster. relationships with people you also do. not pay to be around you. Your family,

my siblings, my friends back home. And you need to know that they don't. work for you. So when they say Lily shut. up, we're not doing what you want to do, like that's what friendship actually is. You know what I mean? And so I had to. really work on that. Yeah. I also cooked. a few more times. Oh wow. Yeah. These are real life lessons. These are amazing. Thanks. And and this and and you're so. right. We're all so great at advising. everyone else. 100%. We're all so great at. People ask me for advice all the time. and I'm like, okay, here's what you do. But literally sometimes my life is in. shambles, truly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can relate. I can. relate. It's so it's so true. It happens. all the time. And I think just the fact. that you were brave enough to do that, to take that time out, it's a it's a. great lesson for everyone else out there. who needs to do the same. I just started. this year without not doing any work in. January at all, which everyone was like, how can you not work in January? Like. that's like the year where you got to. get going. And I was like, yeah, cuz I. needed to go and I needed to meditate. and I needed to reflect and I needed to. just go and have space. And and I felt. it just coming back. I was like, oh my. god, I've got so much more space to be. creative creative now and so many more.

ideas are coming to me and all the rest. of it. And and like you said, like it's. it's not a substitute. It's not like. you're being lazy. You actually come get. to come back to do better. You know. what, Dodie? I I have to tell you, I. don't read all of the comments I get. One because there's a lot and two. because my sanity. But I did see a. comment when I I this, I was like, oh, being taking a break makes you more. productive." And then someone wrote a. comment and it really like made me think. and their comment was, "That's a really privileged thing to say. because people can't take breaks." And.

it made me think and I was like, "I. totally understand this perspective.". And so I think, you know, for the people. listening or watching this, if you are cuz it is true. We're. privileged sitting here like, "Oh, we. got to take a month off work and cool.". But I think it's also just about if you. can't take a month off work, even just. taking some more space for your mind is. what I'm trying to get at. You know what. I mean? where I came back to work and it's not. like I'm I'm much happier now because. after work I take time to myself and I'm.

making decisions that make me happier. So I thought that was a really brave. comment to make. Of course my initial. reaction was like, "Hater." But then I. was like, "No, let me actually think. about this.". And that's really true. Like if you're. not in the position to be like, "Oh, let. me go away for a month or let me take a. break from work." I still think there's. little ways you can balance your life. and make yourself a priority. There we. go. I love it. No, you're so right. Thank you for grounding that actually. That's a beautiful way of putting it. And you're right and and that's the. truth of it. Like whether it's 1 hour, whether it's 1 day a week, 1 hour a. week, whatever it is. 1 day a month.

have It could be as simple as having. conversation with someone that you've. been having tension with. You know, it could be as simple as. calling someone you haven't talked to in. a long time and like grounding yourself. with an old friend. It could be very, very simple. It's just making time for. those little actions, I think. 100%. I. love that advice. I sound so smart. OH MY GOD. JEEZ. GOOD. Good job. I. wasn't expecting any less. Aw. Yeah, this is like No, but it's. great. This is what happens and for. everyone listening and watching, this. what happens when you do the work. Like. when you're actually taking a break,

when you're actually thinking about this. stuff, when you're being honest with. yourself, the natural It's honestly, if. I had to pick what It's being honest. with yourself. It really is. And I think. I learned that the hardest with Girl Up. You know, Girl Up, for those of you that. don't know, is my social good campaign. that's women supporting women. It was such a hard. It was such a just hard journey for me. because I myself have caught myself. various times. competing with other girls. I think it's. natural like all of us have this thing. inside of us every once in a while. So.

for me now being like girl love, I'm all. about girl love, I'm wearing the pin. right now, but then inside being like, oh, this girl is like I had to check. myself so hard and really learn how to. be honest, especially cuz I was pegged. as like. the girl on YouTube, you know, the. colored girl on YouTube and. I had to. believe truly and I do believe now that. it's not about being number one. It's. not about It's about how many more girls. can now do this because I've done it. Yeah. You know what I mean? And so girl. love has taught me to like really in the. most honest way check yourself. And I.

think that's what self-care is. I think. that's what self-love is. It's about. looking those nasty habits and thoughts. and beliefs you have right in the eye. and being like, I don't hate you for. having this, but we're going to work on. this, you know? And it's the hardest but. the best way. It is the hardest thing to. do. Yeah, 100%. It's the toughest thing to. do. Mhm. How do you How did you do it in a. way that it didn't bring you down? Like. how did you look at those negative. things and then not start judging. yourself and beating yourself up about. it and take yourself down rather than. use it as a way to lift yourself up. How.

did you do that? I think I did it. through. quite simply changing it. I think once. you identify the parts of yourself you. want to improve, you then have a choice. to say, okay, I'm going to continue to. ignore this or I'm going to make. positive change. So I I'm a very. pragmatic person. I believe everything. can be like scientifically It can. to do. list broken down every part of me. Like. you should see me when I'm doing my. reflection like to do, to reflect on. I'm like very like that. So when I. recognize these things, I actually like. write them down. Like this is a habit.

you have, this is a thought you have. Now what are you going to do to change. this? Step one, two, and three. And then. when I go back if I haven't done step. one, two, and three, I know who to. blame. I know what the issue is. There's. no mystery there. It's laid out right in. front of me. And so, when it came to. girl love specifically, when I thought, "Okay, you are jealous of this. situation. You don't feel adequate. You're comparing yourself to these. girls.". I made actions one, two, and three. One. was reach out to the girl. You're going. to have a conversation with this girl. Two would be. find out why you feel this way and.

address that. So, there was very like. pragmatic steps on how to That's me as a. person though. I love. like a crazy person. No, you don't. You know, I'm going to. say I'm going to share something with. you right now. When So, when we were. monks, we we had to do a similar process. in the sense of like getting over So, we. would identify what was wrong with us. So, things like ego, pride, envy, lust, greed, anger, like the the common things. that we all deal Wait, greed is bad? Yeah. I know. Yeah, sorry. You got to go to. monk school to recognize that one. But, we literally would write down our. internal default dialogue. Like, what do.

we say to ourself when we feel envy, for. example? So, like, "Oh, why does he have. that? Or she has that better than me.". So, we'd write down exactly what we say. And then, we'd have to replace it with a. new fresh internal dialogue. So, we. actually had to write out what we wanted. to think. So, same as your three action. points. Like, what do I want to think. when I actually feel envy? Like, what do. I want to choose to think? What do I. want to select to think? That's so great. the same thing. That's so great. No, it's exactly it's exactly the same. thing. And it works. And it's. a natural monk. You are. There we go. We. just keep coming back to this.

realization that the monk. That's beautiful. That's really awesome. Yeah. But, I love that because. I feel so often when we talk about. self-love and self-care and really. analyzing yourself internally, people. think it is very abstract and they don't. know where to start. And I I know I felt. like that. I don't know where to start. How do I fix this? How do I even address. this stuff? I think that's why my. default is to go pragmatic is because it. feels a little more um able to control. in that way, I guess, you know? Well, it's good I think if you're not. pragmatic, you then don't know what the. source of the problem is. Like, you.

don't know what to look at. If you don't. look at a process, like you don't know. what to change. solution. It's like, I feel envy. Okay, I'm just going to I'm just going to try. to be a better person. What does that. mean? Like what does that mean? You know. what I mean? It's like you got to really. get In my book I call it send the GPS. deep. Nice. call call this I believe we have like. many layers and as soon as you get to. the real layer like why you do something. the way you do, you have to address it. like that. Being pragmatic helps with that. Instead. of just being like be better. Be a. better person. I just like quotes like that, you know? Like just just try try. Believe. I'm.

like no, me believing is not going to. help these effed up issues I have down. here. I have believed enough, okay? I. have danced like no one's watching. enough. They're not fixing the problems. Definitely. I'm glad I don't post quotes. like that. Just putting it out there. No, your quotes are great. Actually. Jay's quotes are great. No, I'm just putting it No, I agree with. you. They're also formatted so nicely. Thank. you. But that's that's also the part of. self-development and and me being in. that world. That was one of my biggest. issues with it. And when I came into it. it was just like I wanted to get away. from saying things that are easy to say.

and they sound good, but if if you give that to someone, it's. like well they're like well how do It's. like give showing someone a picture of. an amazing cake and say bake it from. this picture. Right? And it's like you. can't. You need the recipe. So you're. giving people recipes. Yeah. That's 100% always my issue and. especially in LA, I feel like every time. I'm on a red carpet people go. so how are you excited to be here? And. I'm always like yeah. And I'm always like one day I just want. to be like. no, you know what? You know I feel like.

I don't I just genuinely dislike answers. that have no substance or or or ideas. that have no substance. I feel like. that's I feel like a lot of the quotes. you see online do that. They have this. like shiny platter, no substance and you. don't know how to apply it. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, thank you for giving. the real tips. Be as pragmatic in this. as you like. Oh, I'm going to. If you want to give. steps, you want to give tips, do it. My. audience loves that. Like everyone who's. watching and listening will will love. for you to be as. hack like. No, honestly, I mean if they have you. leading them then there's really nothing.

more I can provide. I promise you. I. promise you. I genuinely don't believe. that. Like genuinely I wouldn't be. sitting here talking to you. Tell me. about some other hacks and hit trips and. habits that you have daily, weekly, monthly, anything that you do. Cool. To help me in my life? Yeah. Um. okay. This is This is again very. pragmatic. I think I'm a nerd. Damn. Okay, so I'm a big believer in removing. as many obstacles in my day as in my day. as possible to be as optimal as. possible, right? And so I every time. throughout my day something goes even. mildly wrong, I write it down in my.

phone. I have a little note. And it. could be like really simple. It could be. like, I'm driving in my car, my lips are. chapped, I don't have chapstick, I'm. annoyed. Like it could be really really. small or it could be like really really. big. And then I actually dedicate time. before I go to bed to solve those. problems for tomorrow. And so my goal is. every day to have as little friction. that I can control as possible because I. know there will be so many obstacles I. can't control that will come my way. So. whatever I can control will be. controlled and whatever I can't, I'll be.

prepped. That is amazing. Yeah. Super small. thing. So you'll notice like I have. obsessively have chapstick everywhere. In my car, in my desk. Um phone charger. is another thing. Have them everywhere. all the time. So I think it's just about. understanding you can't control things, but the things you can control to do, I. guess. Um so that's one. Another one is. that one a lot. Mhm. Thank you. Another. one is. Okay, this is This is what I believe and. I'm not admittedly not the best at. putting it into practice. I'll admit. It's.

It is a quote actually. I don't know who. said it, but it's say what you mean, don't say it mean. I'm a big believer in. speaking in straight lines. So there's. very little room for assumption, but not being mean. Mhm. So I struggled. with this because I I really dislike. confrontation. Um and so when I have to tell someone. something like, you didn't do this or I. didn't like when you did this, I'm I'm. honestly like, okay, let me rehearse. this. I don't know what the hell to do. here. And so I find myself like really. beating around the bush. So what I've. been trying to work at is just saying. what I want to say, but that does and in.

my mind that equals being mean, but it. doesn't. It's really just talking to. someone with respect still, but loving. yourself enough to say what actually. bothered you. Yeah. So, I'm working on. that still, but that's that's a a point. when say what you mean, don't say it. mean. That's a great piece of advice. I think. con- Our our common friend Humble is. someone actually that if you guys don't. know Humble the Poet, he's super dope. But, I feel like I communicate the best. of everyone in the world with Humble. because we speak in very straight lines. Yeah. And neither of us. ever get offended. It's like, "I didn't. like when you did this. Yeah. Please.

don't do it in X, Y, and Z." And he's. like, "I understand. I will not." And. it's like done and I'm like, "Wow, that's like really great. I just can't. seem to do it with other people. I don't. know what it is." Wow. Yeah. No, I I. think conflict resolution or like. managing conflict or difficult. situations. is probably one of the skills that. everyone avoids learning as well because. it's just so awkward or it can feel. awkward and it's like, "My feelings and. their feelings and everything." So, I. think that's a great piece of advice. I. think a lot of people benefit from that. Yeah, I'm still working on it. It's It's. a hard thing, but say what you mean, don't say it mean. I try to I try to say.

that in my mind before every little bit. of confrontation. Also, some things that. I consider confrontation that really are. not. I'm like, "It's okay if you want. extra guac." They're not going to care. Just get the extra guac. And I'm like, "I'm so so It's a Canadian thing. I'm so. sorry. Do you mind putting Can I pay you. to put extra guac on it?" It makes no. sense. Why do I think that's con- I'm a. weirdo. Yeah. Yeah. No, I think I think. that's the thing that we all commonly. share. I used to do this weird thing. where I'd say something really like. straight to someone and then I'd follow. it up with something saying something. really nice. LOL. Yeah, that LOL has honestly.

destroyed my ability to confront people. or emojis cuz I'd be like, "I really didn't like when you did this. LOL." And. he's like, "Well, really I shouldn't be doing. that." That's my like buffer. That's my. Totally same. I used to do that all the. time. I think I still do that sometimes. I say something that I really mean and. then I'm like trying to trying to cover. it up. me it's like X. You know X, the the. little kiss. There's like. So X, just want to say X. There's like a. whole bunch OF THEM LIKE, "STOP DOING. THIS. JUST SAY WHAT YOU MEAN.". And yeah, my sister is literally.

laughing at me right now because I. probably have done this to her multiple. times. Yeah. But I'm just so like I. don't know I just I'm so scared of being. mean. Yes. But I have to understand that. it's not it's it's like it's not saying. what you mean with and it's possible to. say without being mean. Yeah. And it's. beautiful when like what you're saying. about between you and Humble, like. having a relationship where you can have. that. And I think I'd want to encourage. any anyone listening to this with their. friends, etc., like build that. relationship up where you can give each. other regular feedback, right? Build that relationship where you can be. honest with each other.

Because wouldn't you want that? And like. I know all these things, but it's hard. to put into practice, but wouldn't you. want a friend that like, "Hey, no one. else is telling you about this whack. mother ever baby you have, so let me.". You know what I mean? 100%. I would want that. And so it really. makes no sense logically why I wouldn't. do that for somebody, but I just it's. hard. Yeah. No, I definitely want that. And that's one of the questions I wanted. to ask you actually is like, how have. you managed to continue to and you. mentioned it earlier, but to continue to. keep and build meaningful relationships. as your success has grown, as your.

business has grown? Like how is that how. are you making a priority in that? And. how and how hard is that? Yeah, that's the easy answer. I don't. Yeah, yeah, and it's hard, yeah. It's really difficult. I you know, I. always say I I think I gave a percentage. earlier and now I'm changing it. 99% of. my job is psychological, 1% is actual. work. I always say that. Because once I. start to get garner a certain level of. success, my you know, my Facebook inbox. was full of. so many old friends that are now really. proud of me. And you know, and I'm sure. you relate as well. It's a lot of.

peop- your closest friends messaging you. because they need something or they want. something. And so I've had to really. look at that and decide how I want to. perceive that. And for a long time it. was not positively. It was I got a. little bitter. I was like, "Oh, well, no, you're. you're not my friend. You're actually. just someone that wants something, right? Yeah, yeah. But I've had to adjust my. mentality to now think, well, don't you want to be in the position to. help people? You know, it's okay to love. yourself enough to be like, "Hey, I have. to respectfully say no because I I'm not. able to do this." But just how I.

perceive it had to change. For my own. sanity, it had to change. So, now I I. try to think of things of like, "Well, why else would you want to have. this if you can't help all these. people?". You should think of it like that. You. should want to help these people. So, see it as a positive. Don't see it as. something that sucks your soul out. See. it as a positive. And so, I've had to. really work on that. Trust is still a. really hard thing. You know, people ask. me all the time, when you meet someone. new, or like, "How do you date? Doesn't. it feel like people just want to talk to. you cuz you're Superwoman?" Sometimes, yes. Yeah. Sometimes, yes. It's true.

Someone will talk to me and then very. quickly make it transparent that it's. because I'm Superwoman, you know? Yeah, yeah. Um so, it's been a it's been. a delicate dance of figuring it all out. But I am just now choosing to live my. life believing. and giving everyone the benefit of the. doubt of being like, "You know what? It's okay if you're talking to me. because I'm Superwoman because I'm proud. of Superwoman. I'm proud of who I am. I'm proud of what I've built. And I. should want to talk about it, and it's. fine.". That's the only way I And that might. sound weird or unhealthy, but that's the.

only way to really live my life without. being completely bitter all the time and. thinking negatively, you know? That is such a brilliant answer. That's. amazing. know. Someone watching this is going to. be like, "Girl, you stupid because. you're going to get used." And I know. that. Like, trust me, I'm well aware. that there will be people that talk to. me and have an ulterior motive, but but. what's the alternative? To then not talk. to no anyone? Or to not, you know what I. mean? I'd rather just give people the. benefit of the doubt. Well, I loved what. you said specifically about the other. option for you is to live in bitterness.

Yeah, exactly. just being bitter. Like, it's just being. like, "Oh, everyone wants something for. me, so I'm not going to talk to anyone.". Right. And that option is so toxic for you. I I did that. And I'm such an outgoing. person. I've always been very. extroverted and I found myself last year. suddenly not wanting to go to social. settings as much, saying no to invites. all the time because I felt just. exhausted being around people. That's fair. You know, I was just like, "No, everyone I go is going to be. bugging me about something." And so, I. changed my mentality be like, "And then.

so what? Go to these events, ask other. people about their lives and let them. ask you about your life. It's okay. It's. only exhausting and soul sucking cuz. you're defining it to be that.". Right. Like this me being in the public. eye is not changing. I can't reverse it. I can't stop it. You know, I could stop. making videos today and still there's. going to be people coming up to me years. from now being like, "Hey, I love you.". You know what I mean? I can't reverse it. so I have to make an active choice to. define it as something else. Yeah. You. know? Absolutely. Yeah, and I think protecting. your energy is important. I do think.

that, too. Like what you're saying is. spot on. Like No, and I know you know. this. I'm just throwing out for anyone. who's listening is just like that. protecting your energy is so important, too. Right. Like not going everywhere you think you. have to be, etc., which I know you. already know, but that's that's an. important part of it, too, because it. can be exhausting to just turn up and. have to be someone and all the rest of. it. And then I've told myself, "If you. do have to go somewhere or if you want. to go somewhere, don't define it as being soul sucking. It's fine." Yes, exactly. I found myself when I go out to places.

now I actually like just find people and. really get into their stories. And I. like leave with many more friends. Mostly because I've like had like seven. or 14 drinks, but it's also because I. like people and I want to get to know. them. So, you know. I love it. This is This is You're. amazing. I I love how. when I'm listening to you, all I can. think of is you're such an introspective. soul. No. Like you're like you've like. literally like gone over things which I. think are really tough. And when I'm. hearing you, the only energy I'm sensing. from you is that it's real. Like it's.

it's like you've just Yeah, it's it's. real work. It's amazing. It's definitely been a work in progress. I was not always like this. I did not always I was not always. introspective like that. Um, and I think. that's the biggest silver lining of any. heartache I've had in my life. People. are always like, "What are you most. thankful for?" And I'm like, "Uh, being. depressed." Because literally it's given. me so much silver lining of. just how to how to befriend my mind and. how why I think the way I think. I had. to be in a really bad place to do those. things. And so, yeah, I wasn't always.

like this, but I. tried to make something out of bad. times, I guess. It's amazing. Tell me Tell me you said. 2019 was the year you wanted to take. more risks. Mhm. Tell me about some of the risks you. took. Yeah, when I said 2019 was the. year I wanted to take more risks, I was. talking creatively, for sure. I want to make. building. Yeah, not yet. Yeah, not yet. We'll see. Um, but I wanted to. create content that. you know, I think when you're a YouTube. creator, you kind of get into this. mentality of like, I know what works on.

YouTube. I know what kind of title. I. know what kind of subject. My mind would. be like, okay, let me just do something. with the boy. Let me make it seem like a. relationship. Let me make a thumbnail. this. There is a formula that works to. get people to click a video. For me, that feels very safe because. it's a tried, true, and tested formula. I want to do things where the thumbnail. might not be enticing, the title might. not be enticing, but it's a piece of. content that I feel is really risky in. terms of putting it on that platform. because it might not get any views, and. that's okay. Yeah. The content I've been. putting out this year so far, I'm super. proud of. I've probably the person.

that's watched them the most, more than. my fans. I love them so much. Yeah. And that's what I meant by taking. more risks. I also want to take more. risks in terms of business. Mhm. I I. think business is art. I am not trained. formally in business. I have a. psychology degree, like I said, so. take that for what you will. But, I own. a business, and I I want to take more. risks in terms of the in terms of the. production company I have, you know, try. to push stories that I know traditional. Hollywood would be like, no. That's. like, we're not putting that on a. screen. That's the type of story I want.

to push to create. You know, I've gotten. notes like. a story about an immigrant girl from. India is not relatable. I've gotten that. note. I walk into rooms with. old white men. Not that there's anything. wrong with old white men, but I've. walked into many rooms where I'm trying. to tell a story and they're not. understanding it. And so, I want to take. risks and still push those stories even. though I know it's not the safe way to. get a deal or have someone buy. something. Like I don't care. I want to. push those stories. Um and also in terms. of like being edgy business in terms of.

like requesting meetings with people. that are like completely absurd. Yeah. You know, just a couple days ago I. emailed my agency and I was like, "I. want a meeting with this person. Make it. happen." And then I just walked into. this room with a gift for the person. I. was like, "You know who I am? You're. going to know who I am now." And you. know, just kind of do those little risky. risky moves. I love that. Make waves. Why not? Why not? I always believe if you can't. give up before you try. And even once. you try and there's a no, like figure it. out. You know, just make it happen. Absolutely. And I love that you're. taking those risks because I think I.

think everyone who watches those things. eventually is going to benefit from. them. Like anything that gets made will. benefit from them. Exactly. And also just I mean, I'm sure. from your side like what you were saying. about you earlier, it's just more fun. Yeah. Right? Like to take more risks, to keep. it exciting, to be nervous. It's also. helps me hustle harder because. one of the biggest risks was my. production company. I started it last. year. It's only about 9 months old, but. a major financial investment. Like I'll. be super real with you. As someone I'm. super frugal. I'm very cheap. My last my. my sister knows. She's like I'm. literally I'm so cheap. But when it came.

to my company, I was like, "I'm going to. put so much money. I'm going to put so. much resource into this." Yeah. And. that's a huge risk. Yeah. But because of that, I'm like on. my toes now being like, "What are we. going to do to make this work?" We need. to work really hard and that's what. makes it exciting, right? Yeah. Absolutely. I I want to I don't know if. you've heard about this thing called. flow state. No. No. So, when I when I'm. hearing you, it it sounds like you enjoy. flow state and I think you've probably. experienced it multiple times. So, flow. state is when your challenge matches. your skill. So, your challenge level.

matches your skill. So, when your. challenge is below your skill, you get bored because you're more. skilled and your challenge is low. And then when your challenge is above. your skill, you get frustrated because. your challenge is so high and your skill. level is low. And so, if you're. constantly upping your skill and upping. your challenge, you keep experiencing. flow state, which is like where you feel. like in the zone, moving, like things. are happening, like you have. breakthrough moments, right? And so, from hearing you speak, That's yeah, good. Yeah, that's what I. do. Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Wow, yeah, that's cool.

did you get Where did you get that Where. did the the mindset of. hustle harder come from into your life? Like where did that even come from? I. think innately it's because of my. parents. You know, my parents are. immigrants from India. My dad. The The story my dad has told me many a. time was I young, came to Canada, had. two jobs, worked the night shift. You. know, my parents had to work so hard to. provide for me. They did a fabulous job. for me and my sister. We have We had a. great upbringing because of that. So, I. think innately I have that immigrant. hustle in me. But I think otherwise um.

any job I've had growing up and I and I. honestly don't even know why. My first. job was fast food and I remember even at. that job, someone came up to me and they. were like, "You You like work really hard." I think. I was like refilling the forks like. relentlessly. I was like, "Just refill. the forks." And they were like, "Okay, put in this mic." And they were like, "You're fired.". It's just something about not I I feel. like if I'm not being productive, I'm. not taking advantage of everything I've. been given. You know what I mean? I.

don't want to waste all the resources. and opportunities I've been given. I. think that's where it comes from. Wow. Yeah. that. Yeah, no worries. I can't be in my house in LA. in this wonderful life with these. wonderful people around me and then be. like, "All right, we'll just chill out.". Like no, like I need to do something. with it or else what what did I work. hard for? And also then what did my. parents work hard for? And then what. why? For what? I need to know, I need to. give it yeah, purpose, you know. Purpose. and meaning and. and and feeling. And I want my dog to have a better life,

you know? Like honestly, when I'm. working really hard I'm like. I want to work hard so that you can have. whatever car you want and whatever house. you want. And dog stuff is expensive in. this place. I've looked. Oh no, 100%. Anytime. I go to the dog store, they're always. trying to get me on that organic raw. mix. STOP, STOP. I'M TRYING TO MAKE the. raw food a thing. Fetch is not going to. be a thing. Stop. No, it's just true. No, but really it's just because I want. my dog to have a better life. Yeah. Yeah. It's the most meaningful thing. I think he can be whatever he wants when.

he grows up and I want him to know that. So do I. Am I going to get to see Scott. Borchetta? Oh no, he's not feeling well. Oh no, he's in he's not in the office. I. didn't think he should be there for the. meditation cuz he'd be like biting your. leg. Oh yeah, I'd love to see him again. He's. super cute. know. Yeah. That that story you put up. recently of of him taking all your. pictures instead of you. Yes, yes, yes. Yes, I love it. This is a pod this. podcast is about my dog. You should. follow him. About the rock and your dog. Like that's. what this podcast is about. Cuz of my. priorities. I love it. I want to ask you about this.

because I think you've just been even in. this whole conversation been super. honest, super reflective. What what's. been your biggest failure? Like what's. been the thing that. went wrong for you or or at least felt. like it was going wrong for you. Um um. If there has been, maybe there hasn't. I. I have two. I have a professional one. and a personal one. I think my biggest. failure professionally. has been. subscribing to a system and putting that. above making art that I believe. I can.

honestly say that. When I first started. making YouTube videos, I was very proud. of everything and I enjoyed it and then. I got a lot of success and a lot of. views and YouTube became even bigger. When I first started YouTube, I could. name every creator and I was I could say. like I know you you now there's so many. creators and there's so much content, so. I told myself that no, you need to just. do whatever it takes to make sure that. the algorithm likes you and people watch. your videos. So, I was very much so. writing a script very quickly and. shooting a video, and I think.

professionally that was a failure. because I think that. my audience could probably see that. Um. and I put quality above quantity. I. mean, sorry, I put quantity above. quality, and I think that was a. professional fail for sure. Um. personally, for sure, without a doubt, my biggest. personal fail is that during this. journey of Superwoman and and this. career, I have placed very little. importance on my self-care, for sure. And people would be shocked to know that.

because in my vlogs, I'm like very happy. and very energetic, and that's not a. front. I I am that way, but, you know, some days when I am down or tired, would. I then feel obligated to like be that. person? Yes. Would I. place work over priorities with like. relationships with friends? For sure. Um I've been single for my whole life, so. I mean, you know, so I think there was. definitely moments where I convinced. myself that the only success that.

matters is professional success. Whereas, no, doing things that mean a. lot to you personally, that is also. success. And I had to redefine what. success means to me because it did truly. only mean professionalism. until recently. Well, the best thing is. that both of those things you're talking. about, you're working on both of them. I am I'm actively working on them. Yes. And I had to really evaluate And you. called them out to everyone. Like you've. actually Yeah. You know, every year what. I do at the end of every year, not only for myself, but also I have a. year-end review video, so I'm forced to.

go through all of my achievements, and I. noticed at the end of 2018, I had so. many personal achievements I had made, but professionally, it was like a little. bit less than previous years. You know, I remember looking at the list. being like, "What a bad year." Like I. felt like I didn't have a successful. year. Then I had to check myself and be. like, "Um actually, personally, you had. the most successful year. You're just. not defining success that way." You. know, which was a huge issue. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah, anyone listening, make. sure you define your own version of.

success. Yeah, 100%. so easy to get carried away when things. are working. Mhm. When things are. happening. Mhm. And then just forget what's. important. Exactly. to see you do it. Thanks. It's amazing. I'll keep you posted. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Well, you better. You better. I want weekly updates. Well, don't worry. Anytime I'm You know. what? Honestly, now that we're like. good, good friends, I'm going to text. you all the time like, "Jay, I have this. problem. Can you help me?" I'm always. Yeah, like But I have to say, Jay is so sweet. When I went on my. break, he sent me the most lovely text. And it wasn't even like.

"Proud of you, fluffy, fluffy." It was. like substance and like a text from. someone that genuinely thought about the. text and cared about what they were. saying. And I really felt that. I was. like, "This person is not just texting. me for a connection or for a network or. like because they think they have to. They actually care about what they're. saying and they care about the outcome. of this." And that's what Jay was. And. truly, that was like blown away by that. So, thank you. I I thought a lot about. that text. I know. It was like so well. formatted. It was spelled well. It was. It was great.

Maybe not that stuff. I know. I know. I. know. I know. Exactly. know because I just I really respected. you for it and on a genuine level. Like. I was just like, "Wow, like I genuinely. respected you for it." And I And I was. just like, "I never wanted I just I. didn't want to belittle what you had. done." And at the same time, I just. Yeah, I just It was from the heart. It. was from the heart. And I just. And I'm glad it felt that way. That's. always like my worst. And that's one of the things I worry. about. I don't know how much you have, but I definitely worry about in this. space. I'm like, "When I reach out to. someone, I only reach out to people I. really want to connect with.".

And so, the last thing I want them to do. is get a a wrong impression from you. That I'm reaching out to them for the. wrong thing. And I genuinely have that. as an insecurity as a as a questioning. of like. I don't want them to feel that way. And. but I also want them to know me for who. I am. I don't want them to like me. because of the way I portrayed myself. So I. hear that loud and clear and I think. nothing but genuine I see nothing but. genuineness from you. Yeah, feelings. mutual. When we when we collaborate. together over Christmas, I had so much. fun. And I was just like this that was that.

was I was like it was so nice because so. many of people that I know back in. London and I went back for Christmas. and they were just like oh we saw the. video with Lilly and like obviously. they're huge fans of yours and and they. were just like what's she like? And I. was like she's amazing. You know, it was. just so nice to be able to say that. after having spent time with someone. that. I feel like the number one. question people ask everyone else that. they were just like what is she like in. real life? And I kind of want people to. like tell weird lies about me. I kind of want someone to be like she. has a tail. Yeah. You know what I mean? Or something like that. She has a tail.

Like I'm really into that. Yeah. Okay, so next time I should do that. That's. okay. weird. Say something weird. Yeah, say. something weird about me. Like she's she's not really Punjabi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, or like her hair is. fake. Her hair is fake? Yeah, that'd be a good one. Yeah. What. else? Tell me some more. Um abducted. Abducted? Yeah. Abducted, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um you could. say. she's actually married to Scarborough. She's actually married to Scarborough. That's a good. I can get pictures made too. Oh, we have them. Don't worry.

I love that. I love that. Awesome. We uh. I want to ask you I always ask this to. my guests because I I think it's. important. I want to talk actually no, before we do that I want to talk about. your production company. Do it. to talk about some of the ideas that. you've been coming up with. There's. Polly who also was part of introducing. us and head of development of course. But Polly's wonderful by the way. She's. she's so sweet. So lovely. Like yeah, I've I've enjoyed. all the time I've spent with her briefly. too but. she's the head of development. She's. told me about some of the cool ideas. Whatever you can share Yeah. I'd love to know. Like I don't want to. yeah.

No, for sure for sure. We I'll give you like the top line of a. few things. Um, we are working on a. arranged marriage thriller. I love it. When she told me that, I was like Which. I'm very excited about because an. arranged marriage, it's the perfect. environment for just a lot of cool. freaky stuff to happen. And I feel like. so often we see movies that are only one. type of relationship, but honestly, the. percentage of arranged marriages in the. world is very high. It's not only Indian. people, it's many cultures across the. world. So, that's an example of like.

making stories that people can relate to. and be like, "Oh, this is like another. perspective we haven't seen." So, I'm. really excited about that one. Yeah, I. love that. Um, we also are working on a. few animated projects. So, we're working on a kids animation. based off Unicorn Island, which is this. fantastical world in my mind. And again, I want it to be very like female voices, diverse cast. It's going to be animated, so I might voice one of the the. characters. We'll see. Amazing. Excited about that. And I'll tell you. about one more. We are working on um. a It's another animation, adult. animation, and it is about a.

feminist woman who. agrees to get her parents to introduce. her to a guy to get married. So, she. goes this very traditional route, and. she's in this environment where she's. super feminist but has to like address. all these like cultural things that are. coming her way. And so, she's kind of on. on the edge of like what what she should. do. So, it's super cool. That's me. trying to tell you it without telling. you No, no, I know, I know. And then she. does, but I can't say that. So, it's. it's going to be good. No, I love the ideas. And I wanted you. to share them just because I I love how. much you're a injecting parts of your. own culture into the work and looking at.

it through a completely different lens. Like when I first heard the idea of the. arranged marriage thriller, I was just. like, "That is so cool." Like it's such. a great idea. And I loved it. I also Something I'm really passionate. about, which I don't know what we want. to do with this yet, but there's this. really cool book called Once Upon a Time. Once Upon a Story That Never Happened. Uh, don't quote me on the title, but. essentially it's about It's a It's a. kids book. It's a kids animated book, and it's about a princess trapped in a. tower, but she doesn't want a prince to. save her. She wants a princess to save.

her. And so, I posted about this, of. course, tons of backlash about this, but. it's essentially a story that's not so. And why I think it's beautiful, it's not. so about like, "Let's discuss sexuality. and all It's just a princess trapped in. a tower, and she just describes the. princess she wants to save her." You. know, and it's really fun because the. dwarf at the end is like, "Yeah, I get. it. Well, I live with like 12 guys, so. like I get it." So, it's like a really. fun story, but I think those are the. types of like risk-taking. boundary-pushing stories I want to tell. because I think it's so important for. people to grow up seeing people like.

them. You know, I didn't grow up seeing. things like that. The only reference I. have of people that look like me was. Bollywood movies growing up. You know. what I mean? And so, I think it's. important for people to There's. something really nice, and that's the. one thing I like with Not the one thing. One of the main things I like with the. entertainment industry is that they tell. stories that make people feel like. they're not alone. That's the best way. When you're watching a movie or reading. a book, and you're like, "Whoa, like. there's this person that is like me. Like I suddenly feel 100 times better. about my life." I think that's the the. magic of story. And so, it just makes no.

sense, and it's counterintuitive to me. that so many people in power. think they can decide which story should. be told and not told. It just makes no. sense to me because our job is to tell. stories that relate to people. You know? Absolutely. And then it's not all It's. not just diversity, but it's. representation, right? It's like that. feeling of representating representing. the reality of the world. That's exactly. what I mean. It's right. It's like. anytime I get a note about something, I'm like, "This is what the world looks like.".

Like we're no longer living in the. sheltered like what you think No, this. is literally what the world looks like, and that's what should be represented on. TV. 100%. 100%. Yeah, absolutely. How much. do you miss Toronto? I don't miss the weather at all. My mom. I FaceTimed her yesterday. She said it's. minus 30° C. Celsius? Mhm. So, it is do. sales and stuff. Celsius. too. Yeah, yeah. It's really, really cold. Mhm. Um. obviously, you know, my friends and. family are there. So, I miss it a lot in. terms of the some of the stronger. relationships I have, but.

if I'm really honest, I. was too in my comfort zone in Toronto. Mhm. Moving to LA was me stepping out of. my comfort zone and really challenged me. to. get to the places I am at now. I could have stayed in Toronto and I. would have been. a big fish in a small pond probably and. I hope I I hope that doesn't come off. the wrong way, but I really had to like. thrust myself in a scenario where I WAS. LIKE. OH, DAMN. WHEN I MOVED TO LA, I was. freaking out. Yeah. I had like literally an anxiety.

attack and I had to pull over on the. side of the road truly because I moved. here. I didn't really know anyone. I. remember I went to Ralph's to buy. to buy. like a bottle of wine or something and. then they didn't accept my Canadian ID. and I was like What have I done? Truly. So, like there was just so many things. that I didn't know. Yeah. Um and it was. really, really scary. What? And so now I. always think about that. Like that's. from Toronto to LA. Imagine India to. Toronto, my parents, you know. I know. It was very scary. And. especially because like soon as I landed.

here, I was like auditions, meetings, all this and I'm not from this world. Like I had to learn it all. I had to sit. in meetings and nod and like kind of. like fake it till you make it mentality. and so it was a lot of that, you know. Yeah. You've been on such a steep. learning curve. Uh truly. I've been in. some situations where I'm like I'm going. to learn a lot of things very very very. fast. Exactly. But you have. Like that's. the incredible thing. Yeah, like no, but you have. Like you've. you've learned how to set up a business. You've learned how to even now even just. now like taking care of yourself. I. don't know. My company always asks about.

like my employees joke around like do we. have an HR department? I'm like shut up. Do we have an HR department? It's No, I'm definitely learning and. it's super stressful. I don't know if. you can relate, but. when you're running a business. it's like a whole thing. Yeah. It's a. whole thing. And there's so many times. where I'm like, "Oh my god, I'm not. equipped to do any of this stuff." And I. think one of the lessons I've learned is. the smartest thing you can do is be the. dumbest person in the room. So, I make. sure that when I hire people on my team,

I'm like, "You are all better than me at. the thing you do." You know? So, that. makes me really smart cuz I chose you to. be here. So, like I make sure I have really good. lawyers cuz back in the day my mentality. was like, "I will learn to edit very. well. I will learn how to do my taxes.". Why? I'll never learn. But, I will hire. very smart people to do those things so. that I'm the dumbest person in the room. 100% Yeah, Steve Jobs used to say, "We. don't hire smart people to tell them. what to do. We hire smart people so they. can tell us what to do." And it's like I. I completely agree. And and I think.

everyone should when they can and when. you have the ability as an entrepreneur. to outsource the areas that you don't. have an expertise in. Which was. Which was also a huge struggle for me. because as a as a creator online, people. kind of guilt you to for doing that. Totally. A big hurdle for me was when I. I had to like hide the fact that I had. an editor for so long. And I can openly. honestly say that that I was like, "No, I have to make it seem like I'm doing. everything still." Cuz when I started, yes, I was doing everything. I was. editing, I was shooting, I was writing. But, then I got to a point where I could.

and I was. I could have more time to be more. creative and do other things. But, I was. made to feel so guilty about that. You. know? And I think a lot of creators. relate to this idea of you have to put. up this facade like you do everything, but you don't. Wouldn't you want What I. want for everyone else is for them to. grow. And I I genuinely believe people. should want that for each other. You. should want that for each other. I want. you to go to a place where you can have. a team and and and be mentally stable. and good. And so, I was like, "It. doesn't matter if people are mad that I. have an editor. I have an editor because. he's better than me Yeah. Exactly.

It used to take me 25 hours to edit a. 5-minute video. I I cuz I same with me, no film. background, no media background. I I to. teach myself. It was just so long and I. did it for a long, long time. And then. when I could finally have it, I was so. happy. like 6 years of me shooting my all my. videos myself, editing all myself, and. they looked like trash. So, everyone. should be very happy that I don't do it. anymore. Absolutely. Yeah, I love it. Is. there anything we haven't talked about. that you like, "Jay, I wish you asked me.

about this. I wish we talked about. this." Cuz I'm happy to go there now. I You were pretty thorough, to be. honest. Um. No, but I'm happy to as in if I missed. stuff, I want to know. No, I don't think so. me telling you you can tell me, Jay. No, I I I definitely would, but I don't. think so. Yeah. Yeah. How fun was it. designing your merch? I merch was very fun to design. Um. everywhere. But I will say, for someone. that is big as a control freak as me, um. I have this bad habit of wanting very. nice things, but for very cheap. I have.

this thing in my heart, and I swear to. God, I'm not just saying this because it. sounds good. I'm genuinely meaning this. I really don't want my merch to be. expensive, because I know what it feels. like to be a young kid bugging your. parents to buy you something and it. being and then being like, "Shut up. You're not getting this sweater for $80. F out of here." So, that's something I'm. struggling with. I'm struggling with I. want my stuff to look really cool, but I. don't want it to be expensive. That. doesn't exist right now. No, I don't think that exists anywhere. So, it's a lot of fun, but there's still.

a lot of work to be done in that regard. Cuz that's the hardest bit, right? When. you buy something and it was cheap, but. then in the first wash it goes bad or it. bubbles up, and then it's like then you. have a bad case because of that. Because. some things I do some things I do. because I like it and also because it's. like, "This is a smart business. opportunity." That's not how I view. merch. I'm fortunate enough to have a. lot of other revenue streams, where I. feel merch is just like a fun thing for. me to do that's exciting, and I know for. my fans it's exciting as well. So, it's. not it's truly not my.

priority to like make a lot of money off. merch. Yeah. You know? Yeah. I'm really honest, I'd rather make money off a tour where I. can actually meet my fans. That makes. more sense to me. Sure. It's not about It's not like a very big. business financial endeavor that I'm. trying to go on. And I know I'm going to. say this to people and they're like, "Shut the up. You're trying to sell. merch." Take it for what you will, but. I'm being super honest that the most. frequent email I get is like, "You're. going to make $0 on your merch. Just. wanted you to know that you're a. horrible business person." And I'm. replying like, "But it's so cute and I.

love it and my poor fans." Yeah. Then I. also like send a lot of the stuff to. like India and that's like literally. sent somebody to India and it was like a. $900 to send there and I was like, "This is fine.". So, you know. I love it. And Lilly did. not pay me to ask for merch. Just. putting it out there. She did not pay me. to talk about my merch, all right? did not. I I asked. you some later today. Yeah. I asked because I I missed your. pop-up when you had it here. I was. traveling. So, that's why I asked. because I knew it looked fun. Thank you. And and I was sad that I missed that so. the thing. Like, I had a pop-up in LA. and it was fun, but.

Yeah. what I really want to do is like a. pop-up in like India. Mhm. You know? But. then again, my merch company's going to. be like, "Oh, sorry. Are you going to. pay for these 9 million boxes to go to. India because we ain't going to pay for. it.". So, then I run into issues like that. See, this is This is why I need someone. telling me what to do. I love it. No, but I I think that's part of it. I. genuinely think that part of it is going. with your intuition, Mhm. doing what makes you happy, doing. what's like meaningful to you. And like. you said, like you're smart enough to. know where you can take risks and make. mistakes and give more.

Sometimes. We'll see. Yeah. We'll see. I love it. All right. So, we end We end. every interview with my final five, which are like my final fast five. questions. Okay. So, that I'm going to ask you. Yeah. Speed round. So, one to three. words maximum. One to three. Okay. Cool. Right? Okay. So, what's the hardest. thing about being Lilly Singh? Balance. Nice. Second question. The best. thing about being Lilly Singh? Hair. Okay. Question number three. The worst. advice you've ever received.

Max three words? No, no, this can be. longer. If you wanted to, you could be a diva. Ah, wow, okay. Fourth fourth question, best advice you've ever received. No. one's going to take care of you like you. can take care of you. That's three. words, yeah, okay, cool. No, no, that. can be longer. That's what The Rock was saying. And the. fifth question, one word to three words. or a sentence, seeing as you're so good. with words, to describe how you feel. right now.

Peaceful. That's need one word. You make. you have a peaceful energy. You make me. feel. at peace. Good, I'm glad. Yeah. And I feel like I'm in a safe. space. Thank you. That's why I feel peaceful. Thank you so much for watching that. video. If you enjoyed it, here's another. one I think you'll love. My therapist. told me stand in the mirror. naked for 5 minutes. Put a timer on and. just look at yourself. Day one, I was. literally shaking cuz I was like. like it was already tough for me to love.

but after the C-section scar and there's. no fixing that. So I was like staring at. that like. and all that drama that comes with it. But day three when I did it, I was like, you know what, her thighs are cute. You. know, I started complimenting her and I. was like, oh, I see my brain changing. already.