If You Feel Stuck Watch THIS To Manifest Your DREAM Life (I Wish I Knew THIS Sooner...)
How many of you have ever tried to. manifest something? Not just think about. it, not just dream it, not just wish it, but actually manifest something. Now, here's the truth. Manifestation isn't. just about what you want. It's about. what you believe you deserve. Studies. show that 80% of our thoughts are. negative. And those thoughts are. silently shaping our reality. So, if you. have low self-worth, could it be. blocking what you're trying to attract?
Whether it's healing, chasing a dream, or rebuilding from rock bottom, manifestation begins the moment we. realize we've been creating our own. reality all along, just not always. consciously. In this special compilation. episode, we're exploring how your inner. dialogue may be the missing link between. what you desire and what you manifest. No fluff, no woo woo, just direct. insights on how to manifest the life you.
want. The number one health and wellness. podcast, J Shetty. J Shetty, the one, the only J Shetty. First, we're going to hear from a dear. friend of mine, Roxy Neusi. mindset and. manifestation coach where she talks. about how manifestation is tied to. self-worth. What happens when you're. manifesting from a place of lack? Roxy. shares her personal journey of. attracting rejection and loneliness. If.
you're someone struggling with your. self-worth and wondering why you're only. attracting negative or toxic situations. or people, listen to Roxy's discovery on. the connection between self-worth and. manifestation. What does it mean to. actually move forward even when it feels. like you're taking a step back? Now, you. may be journaling. You may be vision. boarding. You may have everything mapped. out. But if you still feel unworthy of. your goals and dreams, it's really hard.
to take a step forward. How did you. learn to manifest for yourself from a. place of a lack of confidence and a lack. of selfworth? Well, firstly, now in. reflection, I was manifesting but the. wrong direction. So, I was actually. attracting I think a lot of negativity. to me and I was constantly thinking, you. know, I wasn't making any money. Like, I. had no career. I was trying, but at the. last moment, they'd pull out or they.
wouldn't want to work with me. And I was. for sure manifesting that because I was. kept saying to myself, I know it's not. going to work. I know this person's. going to cancel. I spent so much time on. my own. I was so lonely. like I truly. know the meaning of loneliness at its. like deepest level. Um but when I. decided, you know, and I discovered. manifesting and like you say, I I. realized that it was so closely linked. to selfworth. Um how I started was to. start my healing journey and I the first.
kind of technique I used was to fall. asleep to affirmation playlists because. I realized that your subconscious was. susceptible as you're falling asleep. Um, but there was but then that was an. ongoing journey. And by the way, I'm. still on it. Yeah, of course. Like I'm. still on that self-worth journey. You. know, we spoke before, you know, there. are still things that are definitely. kind of my blocks, but I don't know if. you had this and cuz I I said before I. wish I wasowed. You're not allowed, Roxy. You're not allowed to interview me.
today. We will save that for another. time. Today is about you and your book. Yeah, when I first um heard about kind. of self-development and I would listen. to speakers and people would say, "Oh, it's a lifelong journey of healing." I. was like, "What do you mean it's a. lifelong journey? That sounds hideous. What's the point?" I was in this like. self-development honeymoon. So, at the. beginning, you know, when you find. healing and I'd been in this real dark. place and then I start to see changes. I. start to see the light. I thought,
"Well, this is it. I'm healed. I'm never. gonna feel bad again. Like this is. great. And it's exactly like being in a. relationship when you start and you're. like, I'm never gonna argue with this. person. We're gonna be together forever. And then, you know, time goes on and you. realize it's not the case. And now what. I realize is that yes, it is a lifelong. journey, but with every single kind of. layer you peel off, you open up this. huge potential for growth and abundance.
and opportunity. and you're constantly. upleveling. So even when you take a step. back, you're still never going back as. far as you went. And that for me is. really reassuring. And I hope for anyone. listening who's also thinking, "What do. you mean this is an ongoing journey?" It. it's ongoing but in the best possible. way. Yeah. I I think it's interesting. when you say that because I think I. believe that everything is a lifelong. journey. There's literally nothing that. you could actually say has a beginning.
and an end because even when you look at. something that you don't think grows. anymore, it is growing. It's just. growing slowly or it's growing. differently or it's growing uniquely, but everything's either growing or dying. at any given time. And I think people. forget that. And I like the point you. made that you can manifest negatively. and you can actually manifest the other. way. Can you give us an example of how. we do that? like how do we almost. manifest things not working out? So I. think like really simple examples are if.
you wake up on the wrong side of the. bed, you wake up in a really bad mood. and then you miss your train and you. know your meeting gets cancelled and you. stub your toe or whatever it is. We've. all had those experiences in those days. where we're kind of just operating at. this low vibe. we're in a bad mood and. then that's what's happening. But. there's also I think a deeper level. where we, you know, so much is. self-fulfilling prophecies. So if we are. constantly operating from this belief.
system that we aren't worthy, that we. aren't enough, that we can't, you know, receive abundance, then we're going to. change the way that we interpret and the. meaning we attach to everything we. experience. So we might have a. conversation with someone which is a in. in perspective someone else's. perspective is just a like really normal. conversation but to that person who's. got that low selfworth and and believes. everybody's against them they might take. that conversation totally the wrong way.
and then sabotage the relationship and. then go see I told you I told you. nobody's here for me or I told you I. couldn't you know whatever it is and so. I think in that sense we are absolutely. manifesting negative negativity into our. lives because of how we're perceiving. the world through that lens of low. selfworth or low self-esteem. Yeah. No, that's such a great answer and I'm I'm. so glad you raised that point because I. think people think they're like, "Okay, well, should I start manifesting? Should. I not? Does it work? Does it not?" And. the point is you're already doing it in.
in one way or another. And I think a lot. of people struggle with the idea of. manifesting for people who are kind of. more skeptical or cynical and things. like that. And you know, you you said. you came from a non kind of spiritual. background too. To some degree, it. sounds or not open to these ideas and. and that's the same with me. If someone. told me about manifesting years ago, I. would have just been like that's weird. Like that doesn't work. It's just hard. work. It's just you got to put in the. time. And now I.
realize I was subconsciously manifesting. so many incredible things in my life, not knowing the term, not knowing the. process. And then I was like, well. actually if you know the process you can. use it better. Yes. Right. Like I think. that's something that we've don't. understand. It's almost like if everyone. is listening or watching if you think. about something you do actually ask your. friends this. Ask your friends what do I. do well? And whatever answer they give. you, there might be some things in that. that surprise you. Like your friends. might say, "Oh, you're actually a really. good communicator." And you're like. thinking, "Well, I never even knew.
that." Or your friends like, "Oh, you're. really great at mediating between us. when we're arguing and you didn't know. that." Often when you don't know you. have a skill, you actually don't know. how to use it well. And that's why I. find with manifesting, whether you're. using manifestation to create negativity. in your life or positivity, knowing how. it works makes sense. So, how did you. start to piece together your, you know, principles of manifestation? How did you. start to gather and say this is an. important part of the process? I think, by the way, I'll I'll start by saying.
that I think this conversation is so. important. these conversations and this. one especially. You know, it's I'm so. fortunate to have this platform to talk. about this. And the reason it's so. important to me is that because. manifesting has become such a trend, I. think it devalues it so much. And I'm so. passionate about manifesting that I I. get almost a bit upset. I'm like, no, it's so incredible. It's such a full and. fulfilling and meaningful practice. And. within it, there is science and.
philosophy and wisdom. And I think it. can get a bad rep, you know, from these. like 30-cond Tik Tok videos which maybe. just are m are giving so many. misconceptions around it. But this. really is like it isn't woo. It isn't. mystical. And actually my book in. particular is for the skeptics. So like. anyone who's a skeptic, I challenge them. to pick up the book and not feel better. about their lives afterwards. But how I. came up with the seven steps is honestly.
a terrible story. I love it. That's great. That's awesome. I um so when I had Wolf, I kind of. really was like, I'm going to who's my. son? I thought I'm going to make this. career for myself in being of service to. other others. I realized that that was. my purpose. It's what I'm here to do. Um. and so the first I did a workshop. I. used to watch like Bnee Brown and I just. love her and I and I saw her um called. Courage on Netflix. I was like I want to. do that. I want to be on stage. I want. to inspire people. So I thought I'm just.
going to host my first workshop and it. was a self- loveve workshop and 100. people came. I couldn't believe it. Wow, that's amazing. Where did they come. from? I had a really small community on. Instagram. It was like I think like. 20,000 followers. So it was good but it. was small and I was really connected to. them because I'm very open and. vulnerable and they've kind of been on. the journey with me. And so I said, "Look, I'm going to do this." And. anyway, you know, I can't imagine, you. know, what your first one was like, but. I remember just my legs like jelly. before I stepped on stage, but the.
moment I got on that stage, I was like, "This is what I'm here to do." Um, so I. did that workshop. It went well. And so. I was like, "Okay, I'm going to do. another one." And so I said to my. audience, I said, "Guys, I've been. following manifestation. I've been. learning about it. Do you think I should. do this?" And this was Jan 2020. And. they were like, "Yeah." So I was like, "No, I have to do a workshop on. manifestation." How am I going to. explain this practice? There is so much. to it. So, I just thought, right, I'm. going to put it in a step-by-step.
process. So, I went on a walk and I got. out the notes on my phone and within 5. minutes, I had my seven steps to. manifesting. And I think it came so. instinctively to me, but I made this. claim that I said everything you need to. know about manifestation is in these. seven steps. And then I panicked because. I was like, "This is a big claim and. what if people realize that things are. not in these seven steps?" And when I. would listen to people talk, I was like. on the edge of my seat thinking, I hope.
there's not something that's not in my. seven steps. But I actually found that. everything slotted in to one of these. steps. Um, and 100 people came to that. workshop in. Jan. And then in the pandemic hit, I. took them online. 700 people were then on a webinar in Jan. 2021 and by Jan 2022 it was a Sunday. Times bestseller. So it was really. exciting journey and I still stand by. these seven steps. I live and breathe.
them. They are so practical, accessible. and easy for anyone to follow. Next up. is Dr. Tara Swat, neuroscientist and. expert in mindset and manifestation. Now, some people think manifesting is. just sitting at home fantasizing about. the life you want. But Dr. Tara Swah. explains how you need to take actionable. steps every day to move yourself. forward. In order to truly manifest the. life you want, you need to create.
alignment. Now, if you're someone who's. skeptical about manifestation, the next. clip is for you. Dr. Swap brings scientific research and. studies to validate manifestation. This. idea then that we have the power to. change our destiny. This idea that we. have the power. to propel our lives, whether it's. careers, whether it's relationships, we. have the ability to shift and. pivot. A lot of people will hear that.
and they think to themselves, well, that. doesn't happen to me. It happens for. those people. They hear that and think, "Yeah, you can't really think your way. into anything." Or people hear it and. say, "Nah, I tried that once and it. didn't work for me." How do you approach. that conversation of helping people. realize the power that they hold and the. power of what's possible for any one of. us? I love the way you've kind of. segueed that from nature into. manifestation because a few things here.
One thing is that if you just observe. nature, you see manifestation all the. time. You know, you see a flower growing. from a bard to a fully formed flower and. then its petals starting to fall. You. see trees growing, you know, all sorts. of things. And the other connection. there is that creating the environment. within yourself and around yourself to. allow things like manifestation to. happen. And that basically means at the. simplest level that you set a goal. You. say this is what I want my life to be. like or this is a specific thing I want.
in my life. And then there's a process. that leads that to potentially. manifesting in the real world. But I do. agree with one of those skepticism. points, which is that you can't sit at. home and think about it. So I've been. really really clear about saying that. it's manifestation is not creating a. fantasy and then waiting for it to come. true with no action from yourself. So, I. actually renamed vision boards action. boards as if to say that yes, create. imagery that represents what you want, but then you have to be doing something.
every day to move yourself closer to. that. Whether it's being healthier just. so that your brain's in a better. environment, or it's networking or. dating or, you know, saving money, whatever it is that's going to get you, let's say, the house that you want, you. know, a great example is people might. say, I of course I'd love a house in the. Hamptons. But if that's not realistic. for you in the short term, then you'll. only reinforce the fact that you're. failing at manifesting. So it's better. to say, I'd like to be on the property.
ladder and start there and then. obviously build bigger. Did you find a. difference? And I want to get into the. science and research part to show the. validity of what you're saying. Did you. find a difference in the science of. measuring extrinsic and intrinsic. motivators? Because I feel like. manifestation is still always about what. do you want? Where do you want to be? And as you know, honestly, I can only I. can only really speak for myself, but. when I think about it for me, I've if.
someone asked me what that was, I've. always wanted to just wake up and do. what I love every day. Like that's. that's really all I care about. And so. it's all I care about is I want to wake. up and do what I love every day. And. hopefully it improves the lives of other. people. And if those two things can go. together. Mhm. And I find that a lot of. manifestation stems around like what. kind of house do you want and what kind. of car do you want and what what kind of. life do you want and and it gets very. extrinsic. And so I wonder whether I'm. I'm intrigued. I'm really curious to. know what the science suggests about. when you're having an action board. towards an intrinsic motivator or an.
extrinsic motivator. There's a lot to. unpack here. Please um I'm I'm all ears. I'm here as a student to just listen. because I'm so fascinated. So in terms. of the motivation to make it really easy. for people to understand I called it. magnetic desire which is something that. is so emotionally driven for you. personally and aligned with you know. what's logically doable in your life and. what your intuition tells you and you. know what your creative brain can help. you to achieve that if you have magnetic.
desire for something then you know I. always say if you follow your passion. you will be successful but I'm mindful. that that statement. And even your one of I just want to wake. up and do what I love are extremely. privileged statements. So with. manifestation, one of the criticisms is. that you know that's a luxury for people. who already have you know more than what. they need and then they can say oh well. I would love you know to do this or have. this. So I think what I've learned in where I.
have ever felt slightly defensive around. that statement is that whoever you are, wherever you are, there is one tiny. thing that you could do to make your. life better. And it's the micro changes. that build you up to getting to a point. where maybe you can actually do. something that you love rather than do. what you have to do to put food on the. table for your children. But having said. that, if your ideas for what you want to. manifest are things like, well, all my. friends are getting married and having a.
family, so I want to get married and. have a family, rather than I've really. thought about what I want to do, and my. passion and purpose might mean that I. have to delay having a family, and. that's okay. it's more likely to work. out with the second one than the one. that's kind of too guided by parental. expectation, societal. expectation, career, you know, aspirations. So, I do think people have. to dig deeper for manifestation to, you. know, really work well. Yeah. what walk. me through some of the science that and.
the research that validates some of. these claims because I think that's your. that's your unique perspective and. that's been the unique angle that you. brought to it and I feel like it's great. to understand that this stuff is. actually being researched, tested, discovered. It's not just being said. because it not just sounds good but that. maybe there's a couple of case studies. but there's more than that. So there's. two main sort of um areas around that. One is the sort of six themes that I.
narrowed down from the 12 laws of. attraction that I could explain with. cognitive science, which is neuroscience. and psychology. So when I first started. that research, I saw that there wasn't. even agreement over what the laws of. attraction were or how many there were. So I thought, okay, let me distill this. down to like something that makes sense. to me and then like see what we can do. with it. So the first one is abundance. because one of the strongest gearings in. the brain is loss avoidance. So to.
survive when we lived in the cave we had. to stay safe rather than take risk. Now. for most of us who are lucky enough you. know to live in the modern world and. have basic safety around us. It's. healthier for us to be willing to take. risk. So you actually have to override. that ancient wiring of the brain which. says no no don't go and like you know. fly to London and try to have meetings. with lots of different people who may. not want to meet you. Stay in LA cuz. that's safer and you've got your. community around you and you know you. know you've got a big network. So for.
you to say, well, I'm going to go to a. new I know it's not it was your home, but in terms of like recent work, you. know, kind of take a bit of a risk, take. a week out there, you know, see who I. can interview. That is you overriding. that part of your brain that might say. it would just be easier for me to stay. in LA. So it's it's as simple as that. It can obviously be a lot harder than. that as well, but it's understanding. that your brain will do quite a lot to. stop you from taking risk. It's 2 and. 1/2 times as strongly wired to avoid.
risk as it is to gain reward. And say. that part again. That's it's two and a. half times more strongly wired to avoid. risk than it is to get a reward. Wow. It's about believing that there are. enough resources out there for everyone. And that by, you know, perhaps entering. a new career pool or a new community of. people that it doesn't mean that you're. likely to fail if you've managed to be. in an abundant state. Because what that. does in the brain is it moves the brain. away from the fear and shame kind of.
states which correlate with the stress. hormone cortisol to the love and trust. and joy and excitement states which. correlate with the bonding hormone. oxytocin. Now when your brain is in that. state, it's much more likely to take a. healthy risk. It's much more likely to. ask someone for a favor. We were talking. about, you know, asking each other for. favors before. You wouldn't do that if. you thought, "Well, don't ask Jay cuz. he'll just shut you down." then you. would never ask anyone. But if you start. a conversation and someone looks like. they want to be generous and help you. then you know you go into that oxytocin.
mode but you need to be pushing yourself. into that mode as much of the time as. you can. So the second one is. manifestation which is believing that. with your abundant resources you can do. things in the real world that mean that. whether it's that feeling of I do what I. love or it's an actual house that you. have it in your capability to make that. happen cuz of course if you believe it. will never happen for me one of these. common statements that's likely to. become true that's manifestation too.
it's just negative manifestation um and. it's important to say that both. manifestation and the process of neur. neuroplasticity which I will describe in. detail which is how your brain changes. to allow you to grow and grasp new. opportunities. They both have a good. side and a bad side. And the classic. example of a bad side of. neuroplasticity is obsessing over an ex. after a breakup because what you're. saying to your brain is this is what. people do. you know, you trust them and. then they leave you and you just remind.
yourself of all the times that you. should have like seen the signs and. then, you know, all the times that it. went wrong. That's also inducing. neuroplasticity and potentially. manifestation in your brain because if. you don't make a change after that, your. relationship pattern will stay the same. and you'll reinforce it further with. more breakups and more, you know, sort. of choices of partners that aren't ideal. for you. The third one is the magnetic. desire that I already discussed which. means that it has to be really authentic.
to you but also aligned in simple terms. in your head, your heart and your gut. But in the source I talk about six ways. of thinking which are logical, emotional, physical, intuitive, motivational and creative. So if you. think of something that you want and you. ask yourself in six different questions, you know why do I want this logically? Why do I want it intuitively? and you. can get a really good answer to those. then it's likely that you know you will. be able to manifest that. Then there's. patience which is to do with.
neuroplasticity. So until we had. sophisticated scanning technologies a. lot of this work cognitive science work. was all thought to be psychological. rather than neurological. So it would. kind of be like oh you know Jay you're. not mentally strong enough you gave up. too quickly. And it would kind of infer. an intangible psychological weakness. that is kind of your fault. And I think. that's another criticism of. manifestation as well, that if it. doesn't work, then there's something. wrong with you. If you understand that.
it's actually physical work when you're. changing something, when you're striving. for something, you're actually. connecting up neurons or nerve cells in. your brain that weren't connected. previously. You may even be growing new nerve cells. from little embryionic, you know, baby. nerve cells that then connect up with. ones that already exist. And you may. also be adding an insulating coat around. existing neural pathways to make them. faster, um, to make them more efficient. So the patience piece is because a lot.
of hard work goes on. You know that. feeling of I'm trying to manifest but. nothing's happening. That's in the. patient's piece because when you get to. a critical mass of neurons that have. created a new pathway that is stronger. than the pathway you had before. So. let's say it's just the things like that. never happened for me pathway changes to. a well actually I've seen Jay do it so. maybe it could happen for me pathway. That takes a lot of effort but once you. get to the critical mass of enough.
neurons suddenly it feels like. everything's easy and everything's. manifesting. And I do feel like people. have to get a taste of that before, you. know, at least once with a quick win to. have the courage to take it to the next. level. Our next clip is from my good. friend Big Sha, rapper, entrepreneur, and mental health advocate. Now, he. explains how to shift your mindset. That. feeling a sense of acceptance of where. you are isn't giving up. It's preparing.
you for what's next. He breaks down the. importance in understanding the. difference between chasing and. attracting energy to unlock your true. power. If you're someone who's. struggling to overcome your difficult. past and don't know how to move forward, this clip is for you. This idea that. your journey only begins when you accept. that where you are is your starting. point. That your experience have made. you exactly who you're meant to be with. the skills, the talents, the gifts. So.
if someone's sitting and listening and. going, "Sean, that's so hard for me to. accept that I am where I need to be. because my life's just been full of, you. know, the worst, horrible, difficult. things. How do I accept and start from. there?" What would you say to them? I. would say that I I understand some. people's lives are not ideal. I'm. someone. who has seen that, experienced that, can. relate to that firsthand. And what I can. say is that when you accept it, that.
doesn't mean that you are giving. up. Those are two different things. Accepting it just means, okay, I'm ready. to go somewhere else. And I'm thankful. for all that the all that this has. taught me, all that this has brought me. I accept where I'm at, but I know I'm. made for something else. I know I'm made. to go to go higher, right? But no, but. really I'm made to to be somewhere else. in the world some, you know, and I think.
that until you accept that, you can't. move forward because you're just in the. middle of it. And I think when you. accept something, that's how you get. ahead of it. Yeah. Yeah. I I agree. I. feel like it's the resistance to. acceptance that blocks us. Exactly. It's. like when we're fighting Yeah. When. we're fighting, we're going in the. opposite direction. It's like it's. telling you it's going in this direction. and you're trying to force it to go in. the other direction and that's what's. causing tension and accepting it means.
like you said not that you're giving up. and you're like all right well I just do. what you want it's going no this is how. it's flowing now what am I going to do. there's always a like thread of where. you are to where you desire to be at no. matter in what situation there's never. not a way or else you wouldn't feel it. or else you wouldn't be have a desire. for it, but it wouldn't even be in your. consciousness. You know what I mean? Like, I don't have a desire to go to. Saturn because I that's just not in my.
thing, right? But I have a desire to the. things that I've had a desire to, I. always knew that there was a way. So, always know that no matter what. opportunity you're in against the. impossible. odds or against odds, you know, whatever. it is, you always have your way to get. to where you are. There's always a. thread leading you. And there are maybe. multiple threads. So never be down and. out and think that it's impossible. It's. really not. I mean, Mission Impossible. is is a movie that where he defines.
impossible missions, you know. But my. point is is like there is nothing that's. impossible for you. It's all meant for. you and it's it's up to you. You know, one of my favorite quotes is every day I. wake up, I'm one day closer to death. So. what you going to do with the time you. got left? It's like understand that this. is our time right now. The moment is. now. These moments, we only have the. moment. So, a lot of us live in the. future and a lot of us live in the past. And that's something that we have to get.
out of the habit of. And I think when. you accept where you are, you're kind of. letting go of that and making an action. plan to putting your attention on your. intention. And you, of course, you have. an idea of where you would like to be, but God doesn't always give us what we. want. God gives us what we need and. sometimes those are the same thing and. sometimes they're not. Yeah. And uh it. it all works out, you know. Yeah. For. sure. What What's the uh you know, when. you're manifesting, as we're talking. about this, like finding your path, what's the difference between attracting.
energy and chasing energy? Oh. boy. Attracting energy and chasing. energy. Well, like I. said, when you're chasing something, you're already implementing the energy. of it running away from you. You know. what I mean? And not to say you can't. get it, but it's a lot of effort to. chase something. It's like even police. on a high-speed chase, it's like they. might have to crash into other cars and. they're chasing you. And when you. attract something, it's uh you are using.
the powers that have been granted to you. from God, universe, whatever you call it. or believe in of it magnetizing to you. And you have that power. It's been the. power that's been, you know, we use it. on a level on small levels every day. Even if you just set an intent, hey, I'm. today I need to take a shower. That's. literally you set a goal, you did it, it's done. You can do that on a scale of. anything that that happens. And some.
things may take a lot more time than. others. You know, we all we have these. ideas and expectations we set for. ourselves, but that's on us. You know, that's our ego sometimes. That's our. our, you know, wants and desires and our. mind sometimes getting the best of us. And I think that things do take time, but there's always a way. And you know it's you can never count. yourself out. M What's been the most. difficult thing you've ever had to.
accept? The most difficult thing that. I've ever had to accept is that I the. things that I can't control. I used to let the things that I can't. control me. Give me an example like how. some perceives your art. Mhm. As an. artist, like Erica Badu says, we're. emotional about our you know? I. think she said something like that. Yeah. That never changes. But you can't. control how someone perceives you. You.
know, all you can do is put first of all. to make something, to write something, to have an idea and it actualize it is. like that is really the win for real. I'm not just saying that. Like that is. like come on. You know what I mean? you. literally manifested something how. people consume it. If you impact anyone, you that's literally a a bonus to it. You know, that's why we do it. But. that's that's you literally changing the.
world. So that one one thing I've had to. accept is like yeah, how. people like I can't control what people. think of me, their perceptions of me. And when I try and control that, it. takes me off of my path that I'm on of. where I need to go. Yeah. You know, so. that's been that's that's that is. something hard. And you have to separate. like that said that power of separation. of um doing what you love to do and not. tying it into how people perceive it.
Those are two separate things, which is. so hard. It is. It's so hard, isn't it? And and I loved what you said that when. you get fixated on what other people. think of you, you're just getting. distracted from your path cuz now you're. placing energy on and then you might. even shift what you're doing to try and. appease them and then they still won't. like it. And that's the craziest part, right? You do what you want and they. don't like it. And then you do what they. want and they still don't like it. And. then you don't know who you are anymore.
and no one likes it and you don't like. it either. Yeah. And you end up not. liking yourself, trying to get everyone. else to like you. That's where you don't. want to be at. And that's where you. don't want to be at. And then you're. kind of like back to a square one, you. know, position of like, okay, having to. reestablish yourself. And, you know, you. got to be right with yourself first. So, you you you nailed it right on the head, man. It's like, you know, you can't you. can't really do live your life for other. people. I always say that's a business. you'll never be successful at is the.
business of trying to please everyone. And then when you do please everyone, it's like, are you pleasing yourself? It's a hard it's a hard lesson as well. for people. Next up is one of my best. friends, Will Smith, award-winning. actor, producer, rapper, and. entrepreneur. And he talks about the. double-edged sword of discipline and. manifestation. This is for those of you. who are starting to see some success. you're starting to make the right moves. and you want to stay on track. Will. explores the connection between intense.
focus and creating your reality. If. you're someone who's using discipline to. seek validation or prove something, that. can be dangerous and ultimately serve no. real purpose. Even with fame and. success, a lack of inner grounding can. leave you unfulfilled. If you're really. wanting to use your discipline for real. manifestation, this next clip explains. the importance of building a strong. spiritual foundation and why true.
manifestation comes from trust and. faith, not force or pressure. Sometimes. we feel momentum, but we're acting out. of fear more than love and growth. when. you when you look at um the athletes, right? There's a certain extreme mindset. that you I was going to say you have to. take on. I don't know that you have to. take it on. What I do know is that in.
this society um we worship that mindset. that. um you know it's the the the can you. become Michael Jordan without that. mindset. Yeah. You know and that is a. that is a. really powerful difficult question. It's. like mo most people can't sustain the. mindset. Yes. That you know,
fortunately, because it's it can be so. destructive, but most people can't. sustain that level of discipline to. manifest the things that they want in in. their life. And there's just. a there's a poisonous edge to that kind. of discipline. And I've been to the edge. of that kind of material world. discipline in my mind. And I can tell.
you, you can have a whole lot of stuff. and be miserable out there on that edge. And I found a much more comfortable uh. and productive space in my life. And you. still need that discipline. Yes. But it. it it's like when you're when you use. that kind of power to achieve things, it's like there's a uh there's a there's. a a uh a brutal reckoning. Yeah. There's a brutal reckoning at the at the.
end of that. But the amazing thing about. you is you've been on that path in that. direction. I think people sometimes see. these flips where they're like, "Oh. yeah, now that you are rich and. successful and famous, now you're going. this way." But actually from our. conversations and how you've shared with. the family or even when we've uh worked. with some of the friends in your life, it's like this has actually been a long. process. This isn't just 10 12 months. This isn't just a couple of years. This. has planted a seed from your grandmother.
through your whole life to always be. reminded of it to study spiritual paths, world religions, to study philosophies. like this is just a long process. Tell. me about that belief your grandmother. had in you and tell me a bit about how. she planted that deep seed because I. think what you said at the beginning. that we need that example. I think. everyone if they really reflected. there'd be someone in their life either. indirectly or directly but sometimes we. forget them. But when we've been talking.
everything your grandmother's been such. a pivotal figure. Yeah. I I'd love for. you to share what you think she did that. was so powerful because maybe there are. some parents listening today and. brothers and sisters and grandmothers. and grandparents listening today and. they'll be able to do that for their. children and grandchildren. my father, my mother, and my grandmother. Whenever. I think about the the three of them, um. I I picture a triangle in my mind. And I. see like my father was the the base uh.
as discipline. And my mother didn't care. about anything but education like that. You had to learn, grow, study, travel. like my, you know, my mother was really. serious about educating the mind and uh. my my. grandmother uh was love and God. My. grandmother was that grandmother at.
Resurrection Baptist Church and she had, you know, we doing our Easter. recitations and we was at the nativity, you know. So she was that she was that. grandmother at the church and her life. was deeply devoted to God. um and Jesus in the form of loving. service. Right? So the form that it took. was she was working hard to love.
everybody. You know, my I remember my. grandmother uh bringing homeless people. into our house when we were little and. washing them in our bathtub. I thought. that was the nastiest thing. Oh. But she would be in the bathroom. with her hands washing homeless people, you know. And as a child, it was like. no. But as I grew older, I just I just saw.
how dedicated and devoted she was to. living her life in service. Um, it took me 50 years to figure, you. know, to figure out what the secret of. that was, you know, but it it's it was. um there was there wasn't there was a. day of her life that wasn't devoted to.
uh loving and and serving, you know. And. I just watched her. She worked the the. the graveyard shift at the hospital and. she watched us, my brothers and sisters, during the day while my parents were at. work, you know, and then when my parents. got off work, then she went, she would. take a little nap and then she would go. to work at the hospital, you know, and. she was the just the the the happiest. person that I had ever met. Nothing.
faced her. She was okay. Um, and I. remember I was about 12 and I had. started uh. rapping and you know, so I had my rap. book. So I had all of my all my little. curse words and everything in my rap. book and she found my rap book and she. she never said anything and she just. opened the cover and she wrote uh a. letter to me. Um, dear Willard, truly. intelligent people do not have to use. words like this to express themselves.
Uh God has given you the gift of. words. Be sure to use those words to. uplift people. And I you know I. was sitting I was reading that and just. love GG. Yeah. And you know that was. part of the reason why I never used. profanity in any of my music. And it was. like she she missionized me in that way.
to make sure that what I was doing was. uplifting others, you know. And when. you're telling stories, you can always. find the part of the story that is a. gift for the potential upliftment of. somebody that would see it. Now, I want. to share a few takeaways with you. Manifestation isn't just about wishful. thinking. It's about healing from what's. holding you back. Whether you're just. starting your self-worth journey or deep.
into it, every step counts and it. continues to be a process for the rest. of your life. Remember, you're not. behind. You're exactly where you need to. be to create what's next. If this. episode moved you, share it with someone. who needs to hear they are worthy of the. life they want. If you love this. episode, you'll love my interview with. Will Smith on owning your truth and. unlocking the power of manifestation. Anybody who hasn't spoken to their. parents or their brother, call them.
right now. Don't think you're going to. have a chance to call them tomorrow or. next week. That opportunity with my. father changed every relationship in my.
