Hannah Berner: Why I Walked Away From a Dream I Trained 20 Years For

I wasn't happy and I was burnt and I. just felt like a punching bag and I also. was getting really bad performance. anxiety right before I did my first ever. standup set I thought oh no I'm going to. start getting those feelings I would get. before a match of just like Dread and. shame and stand up I went on stage and I. felt a calmness I hadn't felt before. it's kind of like why I tried to fit. into something that isn't right so I. urge people to find their calm the.

number one Health and Wellness podcast J. shett J shett the one the only. Jett have you always been this confident. oh my God I think I always was. delusional like I I always was like. bored without having like a dream like. at like seven years old I wanted to be a. professional tennis player and someone. told my parents like she's too late to. start my parents told me like you can't.

be a professional tennis player someone. told us that and apparently I cried all. day like what kind of passionate little. seven-year-old was like how dare they. tell me I can't do that and then I just. was like that's my dream I just always. wanted to I wanted to be like different. and great in some capacity which could. be very ego now that I'm looking back. but like I just wanted to challenge. myself and Chase something had you ever. played tennis before I I go I still. haven't played.

no I was like I was an athle I was an. athletic kid and I think like I was the. Serena generation like seeing Serena I. was like why can't that be me it was. always kind of like yeah why can't I do. that I don't know if it was. intrinsically like my dad definitely. instilled a lot of belief in me and I. just always was like why can't me. especially in like spaces that I felt. like I didn't belong whether it was like. male dominated spaces or just like like. places that I didn't think easily could.

get into I even my dad has a story that. we were ice skating once when I was like. six and all the girls were in the middle. doing the jumps and then all everyone. else is like scared holding the rink on. the outside and I was like I want to go. to the middle and he was like you've. never ice skated before and I'm like put. me in the middle coach so I just always. had that attitude and it's it's hard to. always be chasing like lofty goals but I. think that's like the high that I like. yeah that's dope I mean that's such a. great mindset I mean you reminded me of. Mii skating when I was young I was I was.

like I could I'm so bad by the way I. could skate then and I couldn't stop. like I didn't know how to slow down so I. would just fall when I had to stop and. now it's like I'm the guy holding the. side going as you get older you're like. this is an insane hobby to have yeah. like there's so many things that can go. wrong totally I've seen people like. break their teeth and ship them and I've. seen fingers flying fingers flying I'm. like I don't need that to happen at this. age but it seems like you've channeled. that into your career right like that. energy it's not like it got lost. somewhere yeah but but before we get to.

that I wanted to ask you a few more. things because when I was looking into. parts of your journey and what you've. talked about what you haven't there's a. lot of lives I'm like a cat yeah you. you've lived so many lives but I feel. you've been amazing at pivoting and. you've been like what I what I like to. think of like an expert in quitting like. you've been good at you can say firing. you can say fir you don't have to. sugarco it no it's funny I recently was. like dming an astrologer as you do and. she was like you're really about like.

rebirth and you're all about like things. falling apart and then coming up like a. phoenix and I was like why couldn't I. have something easier be my purpose but. I've yeah I um when I outg grow. something or don't feel right like I I. get out of it and sometimes people get. out of it for me when I don't have the. balls to be like this isn't my space. anymore but um yeah I've been I had to. quit I quit tennis so I felt like a.

loser even though I spent my whole life. pursuing it and I played number one for. the University of Wisconsin full. scholarship like externally people were. like she's successful where in my head. I'm like I'm a loser failure cuz I. didn't win. winon and then I'm like why did I do all. that and then I got into eventually got. into video production and I got fired. from that and then I did reality TV and. I got fired from. that and now I have a Netflix special. but it really where some people might be.

like oh like you're getting fired I. really was like I was finding myself. every time and and the more you are. connected to yourself the more and. honest you are with yourself and in tune. with yourself the more spaces might not. be right for you I've never been good at. just like blindly following I don't like. being fake I can't pretend to be happy. like my body will reject situations same. with like relationship ship like I can't.

the second I'm like this is not right. for me I like blurt it out like like it. needs to come out how will your body. tell you that like what's the aniy and. it's funny at first I was like oh no do. I have bad anxiety and I've talked to. people and they're like no your. intuition is actually really good you. just have to listen to it but when you. question it that's when you like I've. been in places where I'm like am myself. s sabotaging but my body is just like. this isn't for you that's so powerful I. love that you said that because I think. we don't connect those two things we see.

it as oh I'm having anxious feelings I. feel. nervous yeah totally but it it is. signaling something it's telling you. something yeah cuz I feel like we can. lie to ourselves a lot especially when. you're like mentally strong and in. tennis you have to really suppress your. mind you have to be like I'm not nervous. I'm not tired I'm so ready for this. match and you have to like numb your. your inner thoughts and as I got older I. realized wait I have to start listening. to my inner thoughts cuz they're.

actually right and with tennis I. realized looking back all the success I. have now is because of the tennis. training I had it really was part of who. I am now like just cuz you lost a dream. doesn't mean that's not going to make. you better at something else it's not. like oh that was a waste which I love to. tell people um but also like I love. divorce I love I love firing I love. leaving places that aren't right for you. and I feel like so many times you think.

you have to stay I think the coolest. part about life is tomorrow I could wake. up and say I don't want to do this. anymore and there's a such a beauty in. that yeah why do you think we project. that expectation onto a dream like if. you think about it when you think you're. going to become a tennis player today. you're a comedian you've lived a million. lives in between I'm sure you'll live a. million more and you'll keep evolving. but a lot of us like you said we just. stayed glued yes to I could have been I. should have been if only I would have.

been and that way we never shift our. lens what allows you to be so positive. about going let me trust that that isn't. for me and I don't fit in here if if. people are listening and watching and. they're thinking their first Dream. hasn't come true or they failed at their. first Dream how do you start believing. in a second Dream It's so funny cuz. everything is perspective like even me. joking like I did that that was a waste. and I didn't win Wimbledon and you. laughed like it's funny but then also. like kept me up at night no it's like.

when I was little I was like the fact. you didn't win Wimbledon you're a piece. of cuz that was 20 years of putting. your heart and soul into this dream but. when I when I started doing comedy my. career like ascended like abnormally. fast and it's I tell people I'm like. it's cuz I had a career before this to. prepare me and I approach comedy the way. I approach tennis but like healthier I. was very hard on myself and I had the.

work ethic but I didn't always practice. smart I was very um like negative selft. talk and with comedy I'm now like Rec. coaching myself in a new way so I'm like. when you go on stage you're going to be. positive you're not a loser when you. mess up and I get to speak to myself the. way I wish I was spoken to in my past. career and I see so many people who are. like sad cuz they're ending something. and I'm like you're going to be so good.

at the next thing and. also I there's a lot of shame that comes. with like when you didn't accomplish. something you wanted to but these are. all just your own games you're playing. in your head of what you should be. because if I look back I actually my. first love was like acting and being. goofy like I love drama class I love. painting I loved creating but I happened. to be super athletic and that was where. I was kind of pushed towards and looking. back back I'm like wait I didn't think.

you could make money doing what you love. I thought you had to be like a tortured. athlete who was just like on the grind. and for anyone who's feeling kind of not. having a purpose right now think back to. what you loved when you were a kid and I. know it sounds crazy but like you can. still be that kid and have that Joy. before Society told you all these things. that you should do to be successful and. I kind of like realized tennis there. were too many rules and I like don't. enjoy playing by the.

rules like I don't like staying in the. box and tennis was all about like. hitting in the lines yeah and standup I. think I love cuz like I go on stage and. no one can tell me what to do and it. turns out that's where I can be my most. myself I love that you would have been. that player smashing the rackets oh I've. I've broken rackets I've definitely you. know had like coaches that wanted me to. change stuff about my game that I would. try but I didn't really believe it it. was a lot of like just trust your coach. and and don't listen to yourself and it.

really it made me who I am and I. actually couldn't watch Tennis for years. after I was very like it was like an. ex-boyfriend like cuz it was the longest. relationship I ever had so um but now I. like love tennis like I have it on all. the time I played a lot this summer to. get fit and I was like wait it's it's a. part of me and it makes me who I am and. me calling myself a loser is just that's. a perspective you can take or you can be.

like by the way actually was really good. at tennis back in the day Isn't that. cool the dating stuff is so funny cuz I. have a friend who like loves dating like. drummers who were in jail like that's. her thing I heard somewhere very briefly. that you were hit by a car oh what if I. became like the biggest comedian I could. be which again not a normal thought. someone should have but that's I always. think big I can relate to you in so many. ways like my life's so different but as. you're speaking I feel exactly the same.

way like I I think even when we sat on. your show I was talking about how. leaving being a monk felt like a divorce. at the time yes and because I felt like. I was getting married it was a. commitment it was something I was really. excited about and then now it's been 11. years since I've left the monastery and. I am so happy I left and I can agree. with you more that I to have lived so. many lives in between that and this I. went back into the corporate world I. worked in a massive Corporation with. 500,000 employees and and all of what. that looked like and then I worked at a.

media company I was at huff post for. briefly and so there's I've lived so. many lives and I couldn't agree with you. more that I've just constantly tried to. move closer to who I really am and align. with how I want to express myself who I. want to be and you can't just know it. you can't know it you have to go through. those trials and tribulations like I. tried entertainment in so many different. ways like I worked at a company I did. reality TV like I did a lot of things. that I did it and I was like doesn't. really feel right but I do like parts of. it so then you grow and you just take.

what you learn that's why anyone who's. having a tough time in their 20s you're. supposed to have a tough time like the. 20s everyone's flailing and you take. that time so by the time you get to 30. you're like oh first of all I'm tired. I'm too tired to be like upset about. things and two I kind of know what I. like and what I don't like yeah is it. true that I've I heard somewhere very. briefly that you were hit by a car oh is. that is that like I because I couldn't. really I was trying to well I don't like. say it that much I don't want people to.

think I stopped tennis cuz I got hit by. a car right but my last year at. University of Wisconson I was playing. number one for the team and I kind of. had this idea that if I had a great. season I would then go pro and this. season it was it was going pretty well. and then right before like the big 10. tournament I got hit by a car going to. practice and it was like 700 a.m. University of Wisconsin it was like 0. degrees I had a big Park on. and a guy hit me in the car and I'm.

lying on the ground and the first thing. I thought about was like tell my coach. I'm going to be late cuz I'm going to be. in trouble cuz like he's going to be. like why is she not here like I was so. it's almost cultish like you're just so. obsessed with this team and and doing. your best and winning and I recovered. after a couple months but I wasn't like. my sharpest and I lost this is very. Sports Talk but I lost five matches in. third set tiebreakers so it basically.

means like I'm like one or two points. were the difference in five matches and. if I had won those five matches I would. have like won all these Awards I would. have probably gone. pro and for whatever reason like these. are really just these minuscule moments. I I didn't win those matches and I. remember being like I think the universe. like a person can only take so much and. I but the thing is I could have kept. playing tennis and I would have been. fine but uh I knew there was more.

happiness in life that I just wasn't. living and I wasn't happy and I was. burnt and I just felt like a punching. bag and I also was getting really bad. performance. anxiety and what's cool about the. performance anxiety is. that I thought I would have it in comedy. too and I. didn't like right before I did my first. ever stand upet I thought oh no I'm.

going to get start getting those. feelings I would get before a match of. just like Dread and shame and like. Judgment Day like whatever happens is. going to there's a lot Weighing on it. and stand up I went on stage and I felt. a calmness I hadn't felt before so I. urge people to find their calm it's kind. of like why try to fit into something. that isn't right and I do think I was. playing for other people besides myself. I wanted my parents to be proud of me I. wanted my peers to think I was.

cool and that's all you know when you're. younger yeah yeah I I like that idea of. moving towards your calm I mean it's the. same in relationships I feel like I had. uh you're so right one of my friends. she's going to hate me for putting it. out I'm going do it anyway one of my. friends one of my friends messaged me. the other day and she was just like just. went out with this guy he was perfect we. had the same values he'd be an amazing. dad but I just didn't feel it and I was. like dude did you feel peace did you. feel calm and she was like if so. peaceful felt so calm I was like you.

should at least give it a second date or. a third date like you don't just write. it off and it was so interesting to me. how we're so averse to things feeling. aligned like we have this kind of. allergic reaction when something feels. aligned and something actually feels you. almost feel guilty when something comes. easy you're like that's not how it's. supposed to be the dating stuff is so. funny cuz I have a friend who like loves. dating like drummers who were in jail. like that's her thing and she's gorgeous. and like such a but she loves these like.

projects to take on and she recently met. this guy and she was like I love him but. like I feel like he needs like a neck. tattoo or something and I was like let's. just take a breather keep seeing him um. because yeah there was this addiction to. tennis that almost wasn't that healthy. like I was addicted to the drama and the. the just like the anxiety it was. provoking in the highs and I was. actually still able to find those highs. and comedy that was just like less.

torturous to me yeah I I really like. that comparison between the two because. obviously you were brilliant at both and. it's hard to decipher like I I meet a. lot of people who are like Jay I could. do this or I could do this which one. should I do it's like a very common. question that I get like I'm passionate. about this and I'm passionate about this. and what I hear what you're saying to. kind of decipher and divide the two is. well maybe you're addicted to this and. maybe you have a lot of affection for. this over here and go with the thing.

that feels less overtly stressful L. dramatic less like the high is really. high and the low is really low yes right. yes I mean I'm kind of obsessed with and. by obsessed with I mean I heard about it. once and I like it um. stoicism because that was not my life. it's like especially as an athlete as a. tennis player you're like losing all the. time you're or or you're like I'm the. greatest that ever did this or you're. like I suck I need to quit um and I. think what I realized with tennis and it.

was hard to admit but I actually did not. like the. competition but I thought that was just. a problem that I had to overcome I was. like you're you're just not doing it. right and but all the girls around me. would be like I actually hate practice. but like I love the competition and the. competition is literally what it means. to be a professional athlete when it. came to Comedy some people will be like. I hate going on stage I live for the. stage like I'm more uncomfortable at.

like a group dinner but if you give. because I'm like when do I talk do I do. less do I do more but when I have a mic. on stage I know exactly what to do and. it's corny to say but like go towards. your purpose and go to and the calmness. is where it's like oh this is where. you're supposed to be it's almost like. with friend groups like you know when. you're with people and you just feel. like I'm saying everything wrong I'm. awkward oh my God I hate myself I'm so. embarrassed you could say those same. things with the right people and you.

would feel like comfortable so I feel. like that with careers so going back to. your question of which one should I do I. literally did not like competing but I. liked I was so comfortable with the idea. of being a tennis player and overcoming. this this performance anxiety and. getting to the next level and it's like. if you're going to do something for a. long time and be good at it and want to. be successful you have to like it and I. know that sounds so simple people come. to me they're like I want to start a. podcast what should I do and I'm like do.

something that you would do for free and. talk about for years yeah you can't just. do it cuz you're like oh I want to see. my face on a chart that's not there you. won't make it there's no longevity in. that they're also my people I was going. through a hard time with reality TV. actually and I started doing standup and. I would tell people what I'm going. through and the stand-ups were just like. making fun of me and seeing it through. their lens I suddenly felt safe I felt. calm and I started to relate to them I'm. like wait I think like these people.

finding Community is a huge part of my. happiness where tennis is very lonely. yeah everyone was my competition and. comedy's lonely too but I was able to. find a community within it it's. interesting I'm like figuring this out. right now as as as I'm speaking because. people will say like it's not about. money it's not about Fame it's about. Community but I'm a pretty like I don't. love partying. socializing but comedy I almost. accidentally found. people who accepted me which I think has.

overall helped my day-to-day like. happiness you've reminded me of this. great book that I read a long time ago. called Flow State it's all about flow. and it talks about this idea that. comedians speakers musicians athletes. experience Flow State flow state is. defined as when your skills meet the. challenge so when your skills and. challenge are perfectly aligned you. experience flow but what most of us. experience are the opposite so we. experience our skills being above our. challenge so we feel bored and.

frustrated and kind of lethargic or you. experience where your challenge is way. above your skills and then you feel. depressed and you feel annoyed and you. feel angry out of control and so we've. got to constantly find a space or find. the thing where your challenges and your. skills meet and I've always liked that. idea and how does competition look like. as a comedian to me it was like arts and. craft I was like we're all just painting. and like I like your painting you like. mine and I think some some Comics get. really into the comparison game cuz it's.

easy to be like why did they get picked. for that or they get picked for that and. I think I don't have an ego with comedy. because I'll be honest I have an ego. with tennis tennis was my everything so. comedy to me was something I no one even. anticipated me to be in so I have a lot. of. gratitude and it's almost like CU of my. failure with tennis I'm able to have. such a nice Outlook in the comedy space. every now and then you know I do have.

that like tennis voice that comes in I. remember before I shot my Netflix. special it started to hit me the result. voice that I that with tennis which was. like oh your whole career is riding on. this and comedy I consider myself in a. flow State because I'm not trying to be. perfect on stage it's about my energy. it's Vibes I always say people don't. remember the joke you said they remember. how you made them feel yes but then for. the Netflix special I felt like oh my. God this is like a final like I have to.

get every word right and the. perfectionist like tennis player start. coming back I like called my therapist I. was like getting a beta blocker like I. was I started to get this crazy anxiety. and I feel like it was almost like if. you want to get to the next level you. have to face those demons that you. thought you could just like leave by. going to another career I'm still the. same person who was having trouble with. tennis so I was able to to kind of. battle some demons I remember a quote.

that I loved that was like What if you. let your dreams come true and I remember. being like I think you're not the same. girl actually you've grown you've. matured you're safer mentally and right. before I went on I was very nervous. right before I went on I was like you're. in control and your skills are ready for. the moment and I felt the same with. Fallon where I was like you could go up. and fumble all your words and and blank. out cuz that was what would do on the. court I would anything I was scared of I.

would do like oh no I hope I don't. double fall I double fall like it was so. frustrating and comedy has been a way. for me to like just like a new Avenue. for me to express myself in a much more. like safer positive Place yeah but I. have the same like drive and work ethic. I think I had with tennis I really love. the way you analized both and I think. anyone who's listening right now would. gained so much from it because I think. so many people are doing this mental. exercise in their head like the pros and. cons of like if I stay in this job.

what's it going to feel like if I quit. my job what's it going to feel like or. if I if I start a podcast as the example. you gave or if I do this what's it going. to feel like and the truth is this is. what you've got to move towards and I. also think we're told a lot like keep. chasing your dreams push through don't. quit so I'm not telling everyone to quit. but I actually think that you know when. you're supposed to get out of something. and I think I knew it with tennis when. the winds I was feeling nothing it was. like a drug where if I lost I'd feel.

horrible and then the winds I wasn't. even getting the highs anymore so in my. head it's like why am I doing this if. I'm not even getting a high anymore and. I think that's when I knew like we're. not even chasing anything anymore we're. just at we're just trying to stay afloat. and that's when you know like oh the. love is gone mhm and I also tell people. like when they're confused about jobs. relationships I'm like and if you made. the wrong decision go back then no one's. like there's no police. that are policing your decisions of.

being like Oops I messed up yeah and. sometimes when you give people the. freedom to be like you can go back they. leave yeah what's really great is that. it sounds like you evaluate things as. how you feel about them and so I wonder. what's your relationship like with. wanting to be liked I am a people. pleaser I mean I think to be a comedian. like you you want everyone to have like. the best time ever and that brings me. joy I think I have to thank reality TV. cuz my reality TV my biggest fear was to. be.

perceived not who I was but when you're. 26 you don't know who you are like I. remember I'd go into social situations. and I put a lot of pressure on myself to. be like I want everyone to think I'm. really funny and I'm really nice and I'm. and I care about them and I'm smart and. it's like putting so muching pressure on. myself every time i' interact I want to. be control of everything I was like a. type a student and achiever and reality. TV you give up control my first two. seasons were good my third season I.

experienced what people like tell you. could happen which is like you lose the. narrative and they're not showing your. perspective anymore they're showing it. through like other lenses and it was my. biggest fear to be. misunderstood like there's one thing for. tennis or comedy for people to be like I. don't like how she played I don't like. her jokes but to be perceived based on. like things that didn't actually happen. was very painful for me and I think I. realized I also didn't have the heart. for it like I was too sensitive to be in.

a show that was about kind of like who's. good who's bad who we're rooting for. like WWE type stuff where I was like it. really is like sports for women of being. like let's who we're going to root for. this season who who actually sucks that. we didn't know and that energy was I I. was not good with it and I got fired and. at the time I was like I got a talk show. from it and I was like you just up your. chance and so I was confused cuz I was. like I was engaging with everything I.

was responding to Everything I did. everything everyone wanted me to do so. the math wasn't mathing my like tennis. mind of like I worked hard I'm doing. well and I got fired if I didn't get. fired I wouldn't have a Netflix special. I also would probably not be in a. healthy marriage and I also would. probably not feel like myself so but. also when I got. fired I laugh but um o I got a fire in. me and I think it goes back to that. rebirth thing I realized the one thing I.

can control that I'm so proud of myself. is that I can handle adversity the stuff. I went through with tennis it was I went. through some bad stuff like Yips like. Simone bils type stuff not to that level. obviously but I will bounce back and I. don't care what people try to do to me. or what happens to me the cream will. rise like I'm kind of annoying we're. like I'm all about Justice and I want. everything to be in the right place and. for everyone be treated right that's not.

life but you're not a victim you have to. again have the perspective of like just. cuz I failed just cuz I got fired that's. doesn't have to Define you so I kind of. got this silly idea where I was like. okay I fired from reality TV show and. didn't feel like my I was shown to be. who I was authentically what if I became. like the biggest comedian I could be. which again not a normal thought should. have but that's I always think big like.

that's how I've always thought I really. like put the head down and was so. motivated by the firing like I wouldn't. be here if I wasn't fired and it wasn't. like a these people it was like I hear. you I see you let's find a new outlet. even I remember after tennis when I. discovered comedy I felt like a horse. that was like walking around lost and. then finally they put me in my Lane and. I was like I found my Lane so I just.

wanted to find my lane and then I could. go and finding your lane is is very fun. cuz you're just like self-exploratory I. dealt with a lot of depression a lot of. you know questioning why why why me but. I do think I have a lot of gratitude now. you start realizing I don't want to be. in a relationship just be in a. relationship it's too risky if someone. is bringing me down like I'd really. really rather be single 100% of the time.

the person you marry is the person. that's going to be with you when like. your parents pass away like who do you. want to be with you in those hard times. it's not who do you want to be in the. wedding photo with you how does Bravo. tell you that you're fired over Zoom. really well it was during Co I think it. was kind of like you're not coming back. and I think it's hard cuz with a lot of. people your whole thing is about your. story which is like the es and flows of. evolving and Bravo's very like we'll. break you down we'll build you back up. so I they kind of were like and this is.

the end for you so then it was like. really in my court to be no punen. intended but to be like where do I take. this from here and I learned a lot about. like production reality and unscripted. stuff that definitely helped me like do. fun stuff and will make help me do fun. stuff later in my career wow yeah and. how many people on this Zoom I think it. was me and two people okay okay yeah. yeah so it's quite intimate it's yeah. yeah it was and it's also so you're. getting fired for like being you so it.

was pretty hurtful did you cry yeah yeah. yeah for sure and also you felt like you. lost all the friends who the show was. about it basically was like no one wants. to be friends with you anymore looking. back it was such a blessing and people. kept telling that to me they were like. you're so lucky this is for a reason and. don't you hate that when you're going. through the worst when you're in there. yes this is for a reason and I'm like I. need to make money like I lost both my. jobs like I was on a talk show too and I. was just like I have nothing and I have.

a guy who I'm engaged to who in my head. was like why would he want to be with me. when I'm a failure cuz whenever I used. to win and do well people loved me more. so this was a really like pivotal moment. of like I had to love myself and believe. in myself cuz like no one was going to. fix it yeah what's the difference. between self-confidence and. self-worth and and how did you work on. the. latter I think I realized that my power. is how I deal with adversity it's not. avoiding adversity and I think for. people who deal with that in.

relationships I realize like when you. marry someone you're dating someone um. you're dealing with their life which is. full of ups and downs so when someone's. with you it's not about being perfect. and an easygoing and cool girl like. that's what I wanted to be but like. realistically I just got fired and. you're finding someone who's going to be. with you through the highs and lows and. no one's life is perfect and no one's. relationship's going to be perfect who's. going to be in the trenches with you and. like I found my person to be in the. trenches with me how did you stop.

yourself from letting any bitterness or. Revenge mindset creep in I do want to. say I fully do have a Revenge. mindset but my revenge is never to hurt. people they're already hurt they're. hurting you obviously they're hurt if. they tried to hurt you it's like the. classic quote but like you being mad at. them is just like you adding Venom to. yourself and they clearly don't give a. about you cuz they hurt you I realized.

that people's hate towards me was. because they saw something in me and I. almost took it as a compliment honestly. getting fired is there's some star power. to it like there's a and I'm not telling. everyone you know get fired cuz you'll. find your purpose but it's like I. listened I wasn't like trying to undo. the past I was like I can't change what. happened I can only change going forward. and I think great athletes are like that. like you make a mistake. and instead of harping on the mistake.

that's not going to help you in this. next Point yeah and I dealt with a lot. of depression a lot of you know. questioning why why why me I wasn't just. like completely you know strong out of. it but I do think I have a lot of. gratitude now I even like I went to some. like Hotel recently and someone was. complaining about like how the hotel. sucked or whatever or something happened. and I was like I remember when no one. would have even booked me to be able to. stay at this hotel to perform absolutely.

so the lows actually have given me the. mindset for success but also the right. seeds planted in those lows because in. one sense that's what I was getting at. that if you had planted it out of this. bitterness I'm going to show you yes you. know you you'll realize how great I am. when you do it from that perspective. which which is natural by the way I'm. not even judging anyone who has that. intention it's just that if that's the. seed you plant then even if you make it. to that hotel or make it to that Podium. or make it to a Netflix special you will.

never go sleep happy like it's just not. possible well that's yeah that's what I. meant by like they never liked you. they're not going to like you um like. everyone's dealing with their but I. do have to say I don't forgive people. I'm not going to be friends like I learn. from situations but I also feel like my. particular situation like I was on a. show about friends getting drunk and. starting fights with each other and I. wasn't fitting in and people kind of. turned on me and I was like that's. actually a compliment that like you. weren't thriving in that environment the. friends that I've been able to make.

recently like I found the most smart. powerful inspiring people like Ali. Risman has she been on this pod you have. to have her on she's incredible gymnast. who was like the captain of the Olympic. team was like hey I love your special. I'd love to get coffee and I was sitting. there talking to this girl feeling so. like lucky that I can even like. understand how her brain works and be. connecting with her again you go back. and you're like thank God I got kicked. out of where I didn't belong yeah you.

reminded me of a commencement speeech. that fedra just gave and he was talking. about I love him he was talking about. how he's only won 80% of games in his. career and he's only won just over 50%. of points in those games yes and so he. was like I have to get so used to losing. a point I always say as a tennis player. to win 64 64 you lose 40% of the points. exactly and it's and I do think that. tennis mentality helped me like when.

something bad would happen I'd be like. yeah that's part of the ride and I also. do love storytelling that's why like. this pod is so fun for me I love when. bad things happen cuz I am that person. that's like I can't wait to go on a. podcast one day and be like I was fired. and sad and then I I Rose From the Ashes. and I do think people connect with me. cuz they see like okay if she can do it. I can do it and that's what I want. people to feel cuz it's it is just your. mentality when you get up in the morning.

you're just like I'm not going to let. that past pain Define me when you're. putting it into comedy where's all the. content coming from the storytelling. well the funny thing about comedy is I. definitely never wanted to be a stand up. comedian and I think it was a blessing. in a way that like I very have my own. distinct voice and way I am on stage. like I wasn't ever trying to copy anyone. else I didn't even think I was going to. get a Netflix special so when I did I.

was kind of just like cool and then I've. been joking I was like what do you do. next do another Netflix special like how. many Netflix specials does a person need. but it's been a interesting moment. creatively cuz with a standup after you. do your hour the materials burned they. call it so unlike a singer who can like. you write great hit and you can do it. forever like my my hit is like my great. hit I love my like gun joke or my queef. joke I can't do that anymore so. now I'm doing these new material shows.

where it's basically like watching your. favorite athlete start as a beginner so. I'm literally on stage being like. cankles are cankles funny do we like. cankles and I've had some insecurities. being like this is difficult I went from. a tried and tested like hour that I know. every single moment what will happen and. the laughs I'll get to being just like. feeling naked on stage and my husband's. been inspiring because he's like you. don't even know like this special is. going to be better than the last one so. I think with comedy I like that it keeps.

me on my toes it keeps me I don't feel. completely like I got this all the time. and I think it keeps me motivated. because I feel so CH I'm constantly. learning about myself and challenging. myself last week I even I went on stage. just with a bunch of papers which I've. never done before and just was like. let's see what happens so look maybe I'm. sick in the head as we're talking it out. and I'm saying it out loud but um I like. to put myself in uncomfortable positions. and see how I can get out of it I think.

that's what crowd work is which is. something that I've taken accustomed to. I actually think it's the only mindset. like if you know what you're going to do. every month you'll end up living the. same year again and again and again and. part of me is jealous of those people I. do have to say there are maybe some like. neurotypical people that are like I want. to just like like I want to go to work I. want to enjoy my friends I want to go. home and I'm so thankful for this life. and I'm envious of those people like I. wish that are you actually well I I.

think that they act are fulfilled and. then there's people like me who need. some crazy to like feel alive all. the time and I definitely am neurod. Divergent like I'm realizing now like I. do think I have ADHD in like a powerful. way like when I'm doing a joke I could. like know what crowd work I'm going to. do next and I'm also going to do a call. back to this joke like I have a. bazillion tabs open in my head and I. need constant dopamine hits but it's. it's made me a creative and and a.

performer so I think like both ways of. life like you know you see a kid and. you're like this kid is Happy chilling. and you see a kid that's just running. around being chaotic and you're like. they're just different Vibes totally. totally yeah and and I feel like. everyone's needing to balance out by. doing the other like someone who lives. crazy A crazy life like you can find. more joy from relationships and the. simple things and someone who's living a. more as you called it a neur typical. life also needs to find new goals and.

things to grow towards because both end. up feeling out of balance and out of. sync are you good at vacationing I. really enjoy it I wouldn't say I'm good. at it in the sense of I I don't like I. could go years and probably did in the. beginning and then I got a bit better at. it and then probably got bad at it again. I'm okay at it I'd say I've recently. like this summer after the special I was. like take some time and like you're you. wake up and you're like what are we. doing oh I'm good at that oh I'm good at. that once I'm there I'm good once you're. there you're good I have I find with.

vacationing or like giving yourself. breaks especially as an entrepreneur cuz. it's always like when you're not working. you're just not like making money or. whatever you'll be like okay let's relax. and then it takes you like four days to. relax then you're finally relax and like. we got to go back home and you're like. oh no so yeah I'm really lucky I can. like lock into any mode that I'm in. immediately well you meditate more than. me correct but but finding the time to. get away that's what I was thinking like. I was like you have to prioritize that. I'm not I'm okay at that like sometimes.

I'm good at planning it out sometimes. I'm not I'm good at starting my year off. right like I always make sure that I. start my year off in India back at the. monastery taking time out and I've done. that every year religiously for the past. seven years or whatever it is maybe even. more now and that to me is I'm good at. doing that I heard that Dua always takes. July and August off I Al also could have. started a rumor there but I heard that. and I was like Dua is always like. crushing it and I Part of Me Like Love. loved that not May it's like European or. something but I'm realizing in this life.

that like no one's going to make you. take a break and you actually have to. have the selflove even if you think you. don't need it to be like you do need to. have balance and I'm a workaholic and I. I love the highs of it but I've also. been working on like also when you're. relaxing like don't be mean to yourself. don't spend the whole day relaxing being. like you should have gone to Pilates so. it's you yeah creating the right. narrative in your head of like that. you're in the right space at the right.

time is kind of what I've been working. on yeah now that you've started a crazy. rumor about du now you're interested. you're like okay no I was going to ask. you what's the craziest rumor you've. ever heard about yourself I mean. honestly the biggest rumors were like. stuff that would happen on reality TV. cuz like there would be scenes where the. back of my head would say something to. someone and I was like that was not what. the response was so it was like living. with like moments that just didn't. happen that you had to kind of just like. own I didn't really own it I I would be.

like no it didn't happen everyone like. shut up. stupid but I think my support system has. been really great and I I took it for. granted or I just I have very small. support system so I never thought that I. was like special in any way but now I'm. realizing like it really is quality over. quantity like I I always have that one. best friend my mom and my dad my brother. and my husband hband maybe a couple. other friends depending on the time and.

I thought like you're kind of a lonely. but then these people are so. special that I can call it any time and. they get me so well that um I'm. realizing more like oh they got me. through that like I could not have done. it alone yeah my poor mom the the calls. she has to take oh that's that's so. wonderful to hear though and it's it's. interesting isn't it because I think as. things grow also you realize the. different values of your community as. well as you get older you realize the. value that they're playing different you.

go through more you grow through more. and so you rely on them for more things. like when you're a kid maybe they helped. you move to college or maybe they you. know it's things like that whereas when. you grow up you're like no I just called. you and cried and I remember for me it. was like my mom saying something I was. going through a tough time and I don't. really call my mom for advice I never. have she's always been loving and. supportive very guy of you like my. brother will call my mom like once a. month and I call her call her I'm like. I'm eating chicken nuggets exactly. that's my wife like my wife would call. her mom like six times a day and I never.

I literally call my mom once a month and. and I remember my mom just like once. like we were on a call and I didn't tell. her things were hard but obviously she's. my mom she can sense that things were. hard this was like seven eight years ago. and she just said like one of the most. motivational things to me ever and she. never does that so like I'm not used to. that from her and it was about me and. about something in my past I'll tell you. off camera later and it was just one of. those things that I was like no way like. I I didn't even know we had that. relationship or you just gave me like a.

really big gift in my I was just turning. 30 maybe like at that time and I. couldn't believe that she said that to. me then and so I would never have. realized that if I wasn't going through. that point in my life and she didn't. sense it so I didn't see the value my. mom could offer me it's so funny how. heavy a mom's words could be so heavy. like I remember I was in t like tennis. craziness and I called my mom and I just. was like just dark and my mom was like. you're not being yourself and I was like.

who what do you even mean and she's like. you're a light-hearted funny silly like. goofy girl like that's who Hannah is. like I don't know who this is right now. but I'm just you know trying to figure. out who I am it's 18-year-old and. looking back I'm like she's so right. that I was I was turning into someone I. wasn't cuz I was just forcing things I. also think with friendships and. relationships in your 30s you start. being like I don't have time to force. things and also why would I force.

anything like me and you for example. like I feel like if I was like I need. Jay to like me and like was obsessed. with like connecting with you who knows. if that would have worked but like we. naturally hit it off and we have a. friendship where like I feel like. sometimes people will be like if I if I. ask them to get coffee and I do this I. live my life kind of like put your. energy out there and the right energies. will come back yeah three authentic. relationships are better than thousands. of people that you're you're like they. wouldn't be there for me when I need to. bury a.

body yeah I'm still trying to get you to. like. them I was trying like like I do message. you no I do think it's there's Vibes. there's Good Vibes yeah yeah no for sure. and and I and I could agree with you. more there isn't I think tactics and. hacks and things like that get you very. don't get you very far with humans like. they work on things they work on tools. they work on strategy and projects and. things like that but they don't really.

work well with people I also find with. dating I used to be like if I construct. the perfect text message he's going to. realize that I'm fing cool I was so in. I'd get nervous and be like if I say. this or like I wasn't funny enough and. looking back you're like the Emoji or. not Emoji did not change like it's funny. cuz my husband he met me going when I. was in the middle of this like insane. reality TV time which argu like I was. crying more than I've ever cried before. like that's not what it's like being.

with me I'm I have other issues but. crying was not a thing so it's talk. about like someone loving you at your. worst it's almost like he saw me as like. an open wound and he loved me through. that so I joke now I'm like first date. get in a fight like like start crying. tell him all your trauma and like if he. can't with it be on to the next one why. are we pretending to be perfect for 3. years and then realizing you hate. them abely I really thought that like if. I was perfect perfect things would.

happen to me and that's just not the. game so we've talked so much about like. your confidence in these places how do. you apply to your love life like what. was that like in relationship and dating. were you as analytical were you able to. make sense of stuff or in that area. where you like oh my it's so funny how. everything's so similar I was like. tennis where like even when I was like. could not hit a serve I had this. confidence that I could still win and I. did win a lot but like I always I joke. like I always think everyone loves me.

like I'm I'll have friends I'll walk. into a room like I I have reverse bi dis. morphia like I think everyone's. attracted to me and but I just had this. confidence that no matter what was going. on like that I'll fall in love and I'll. have the most amazing relationship and. everyone's attracted to me and wants to. be with me and that was just what I put. into the world but I also had an ego. with it where like I realized that I. would go after emotionally unavailable. guys cuz I wasn't ready I was like no. one's rejecting me like no one's.

rejecting me and I would go after like. really good-look men who I didn't. respect emotionally so that if it didn't. work out I'd be like he's fcking stupid. like obviously I didn't like him or like. they wouldn't make me laugh or like I. liked having hot men around me and it is. kind of I always like male dominated. spaces I'm wearing tie right now but I. kind of like I thought it was powerful. to be like a girl that like could date a. lot of hot guys it's like I didn't want. to be fully seen. either and I finally like my husband is.

a guy who very good-looking but I really. respect. emotionally and he sees me and he calls. me out on stuff and is okay with all the. things that come with me and it was like. scary and vulnerable but it also felt. really safe cuz I think I it was with. the right person I have been in. relationships where I felt confident. like this guy on paper is like.

everything someone would want like girls. probably look and go like oh yeah he's. great but I didn't feel like myself and. I'm proud of myself I got out of a. relationship when I was younger that. like other people were like why would. you leave that guy but because when I. was alone at night I didn't feel like I. was able to be myself with him and I got. out of it and I realized your partner if. they're not an asset I don't mean it. like they have to make everything great. and life happy no if they're not.

enhancing and supporting you and who you. are there's no reason to be in a. relationship yeah someone said something. kind of powerful that the person you're. with directly reflects how much you love. yourself even though I was like dating. and confident I wasn't like really. putting myself out there fully because I. didn't know if someone really saw me. they would be scary if they didn't love. me so I was like well I don't love them. I don't don't need. them but I I honestly think having a bad.

relationship that hurts your mental. health is so nice because bear with me. you start realizing I don't want to be. in a relationship just to be in a. relationship it's too risky if someone. is bringing me down like I'd really. really rather be single 100% of the time. so once I got in that mentality like in. my late 20s when the right guy finally. came I I knew it cuz I wasn't just. dating to date yeah I feel like so many.

of the people I know right now are just. struggling with dating like I'm sure you. have loads of single friends too or yeah. right you were just like Jay can you. introduce me to someone or I don't know. how to meet someone I'm on all the apps. I'm doing this I'm doing that and it. feels like it's just the wild wild rest. for people like it's so hard at least. that's how it seems I know my advice I. really do joke about it that like first. date if you go back to his apartment. like hide his remote and see what his. true character is like cuz I really feel.

especially in La everyone's hot and I'm. like I could get along with a hot person. for. months before I like realize what's. going on and I think life is so short. it's like you can convince yourself that. so many people are great for you but. like stop lying to yourself and. immediately just be like do you feel. like yourself with them and is it. someone that you want to sit on the. couch with for hours let's stop with the. Instagram let's stop with how. it looks aesthetically and find someone. that's good for your soul yeah cuz your.

relationship is like a mirror where like. it's a voice that you have to listen to. for the rest of your life make sure that. voice is someone you want to talk to and. like they create the vibe of your life. yeah I love quitting I love getting out. of stuff if you're not with the right. person like there is a right person. there get out yeah no but I think you're. so right that the halo effect so strong. like we can stay with someone off of. like the tiniest thing like people will. stay in a relationship because someone's.

hot because someone makes lots of money. because someone's really good at one. thing yes and it's so easy to do that. because the halo effect is so powerful. you were saying in a very sincere way. like do you want to listen to their. voice for the rest of your life and I. was just thinking of someone going to me. I really like the sound of his voice and. it's like you're just attracted to the. sound of someone's voice but not really. the content of what they're saying or. who they are and what you're talking. about someone's soul and it's it's so. hard for our brains to detach from that. which is pleasurable to that which is. actually oh my God you're so right I. loved having a crush I would make it up.

he would just have to show like a little. bit and I was like I love this I want to. wake up with that Hive like is it going. to text me and then you finally like. meet him and you're like oh my God like. this is not it it took me a while I. would really just be like as long as. he's tall I could figure this out and. then I remember feeling like I was. signing my soul to the devil I was like. you deserve better and I do think like. you love yourself the person you're with. is showing how much you love yourself. you deserve serve the best also with. someone who's just got married like I do.

have to say when you're growing up. you're like who's my soulmate who's my. soulmate and not to be a debie downer I. believe there are soulmates I don't. think at all that there's one person I. really think of marriage as like a best. friend and that it's very similar to. friendships you know when you meet. someone like I'll meet a girl and. immediately I'm like where the has this. been on my life she's amazing I'm. obsessed with her and you'll have a. couple of those kind of relationships in. your life and that's how I feel with men. as well romantic relationships so it's.

like the person I'm with right now he's. so right for me he's amazing I do think. there's other people in the world that. potentially I could have married and had. that I haven't met so it's like you. create your own adventure and you find. the person that's right for you in that. moment people will be mad like why did I. marry this guy and I'm like maybe he was. right for you in 1997 whenever it. happened and he was perfect for you in. that time so stop putting so much. pressure on this like one insane thing. it's like no it's it's Vibes and it's.

like finding your best friend yeah and. you'll have a lot of beautiful. relationships in your life what were. some of the surprising challenges that. came up in marriage that maybe you. didn't expect I do have to say my. husband has a joke he's a comedian too. he actually has a really good bit about. mindfulness that I feel like you would. like I'll send it to you but yeah please. do yeah it's just about how mindfulness. he jokes about back then it was just. like watching precipitation go down. she's like you can't even sit and take a. without like scrolling like. mindfulness used to just be existing I.

butchered that bit but it's about that. you're now doing his bit I'm do but he. he has this joke about marriage how. he'll tell people like we don't spend a. lot of time together cuz I'm on the road. a lot he's on the road and how people. like 35 and under are like oh that must. be really hard but that people 35 and. over are like you guys are going to make. it so like we never get into that like. roommate situation where you start feel. feeling like oh this is just a roommate. that I have that lives with me it stays.

kind of exciting because we don't have. that routine our our careers are very. kind of crazy and we're really good at. communicating I think the funny thing. about marriage is that dating is a lot. of chasing there's a lot of like are we. going to get engaged are we going to get. married what is this going to be and. then you become it it reminds me of life. where like if you don't love the. journey there's no point to it MH and. you realize like oh this isn't about. getting the ring like this is just about.

finding someone I want to be with with. him it's like we're married we're not. I'm not playing any more games the games. are over and I liked kind of being like. what's going to happen and there's no. game. playing that's your person yeah I. remember reading a study that talked. about how what we really get addicted to. at the beginning of a relationship is. stress and excitement yes so the. excitement of I just texted them the. stress of will they text me back the.

excitement of like I just told all my. friends about this guy the stress of I. don't know if he's talking about me to. his friends and so that keeps you it's. what you're saying the game keeps you. going and then all of a sudden when you. actually end up with someone then over. peaceful yeah and then everyone goes. wait a minute there's no excitement. anymore it's like no no no you were just. addicted to stress yes like it's not and. I do have to say the peacefulness of. marriage has been really nice for me in. terms of like dating actually was really. timec consuming and stressful so I feel. like I'm able to focus more on my career. and being myself I used to like not be.

able to enjoy friends sometimes because. I'm sitting there thinking about a guy. we're at dinner and I'm just like I. don't really care about this cuz like so. and so hasn't texted me back where now I. have this like comfort of like I have my. person who's my sidekick and there for. me and I can actually be myself more. which has been really nice when I was. single I was boy crazy and I was like. putting it on a pedestal so I've I've. done that and been that I think once you. realize you just you don't want to force. it yeah my ultimate dating tip is that.

do the things you love and it'll track. people who will love you mhm where it's. I tell people like I know this is corny. but like if you like volleyball join a. volleyball league you can't just like. sit around hoping like be you and they. will come yeah it's the baseball field. as they say if you build it they will. come for men I think it's similar like. all the most successful men that I've. spoken to have all said that. their success came when they committed. to one woman yeah and then they actually.

had time and energy to build everything. else exhausting rather than the. exhaustion of thinking that it was cool. to date multiple women or have affairs. or whatever they thought it was when. they were growing up that again the. stress they addicted to exact but I do. have to say to be a little positive my. parents have a really beautiful. relationship and like they still like. they flirt they love each other they. make each other laugh and in my. relationship like I still my friend. makes fun of me but like I still get. butterflies with him like I do have it. it's not you know we're we're 2 years in.

it's early but I found someone who keeps. me like excited so that's possible it's. not like oh you meet someone and then. you're just like yay we're bored no like. I found someone who he definitely is. emotionally like we say like our love. language is laughter so we're making fun. of each other and it's like we're. constantly playing the game of how can. we make each other laugh absolutely yeah. we we banter all day me and my wife so. important when we're around you guys. have a really fun Dynamic we laughter is.

our love language for sure too and we. always feel like when we're around new. people or new couples they're like do. you have have issues with each other I'm. like no no no this is just this is who. we are like we're constantly bantering. and that's that's our way of showing. love to each other and it works for us. and I'm I'm I can also get really. emotional like when Rad's traveling or. whatever I'll literally be like there's. no light in the house like I'm just I. get fully like I'm like no the house. feels different like it's not the same. cuz I'm so used to walking back there. seeing her giving her a hug whatever it. is even in in the work day and then when.

she's traveling I'm like no where is she. but I love the idea of missing her it. yes yes I was going to say it makes you. not take for granted them being there. when you wake up yeah and we also are. very good at communicating like we'll be. on the phone like all day even if it's. just like a two-minute call to be like. this thing happened to me yeah it's just. natural and I joke like be with some. your relationship is a conversation you. have for the rest of your life like do. you want to have it I saw like a random. probably a Tik Tok about how the person.

you marry is the person that's going to. be with you when like your parents pass. away like who do you want to be with you. in those hard times it's not who do you. want to be in the wedding photo with. you mic drop yeah that's real no that's. so real that's the realest thing ever. it's and then I wish I I wish more. people would internalize that because. that is exactly what it is and having. and I have a friend who was with his. partner through the loss of her mom. recently yeah and it was the hardest. thing for her and he was he was the best.

partner I think she could have had. during that time and she she needed him. and I realized I needed my husband. during my hard time and I also think. that trauma bonding is real obviously. trauma bonding can be bad but like I. think we are so much powerful of a. couple because early on we were dealing. with so much adversity that now when. something happens like we're so easily. able to handle it um so when things. happen to you when you're in a. relationship it's actually going to show.

you if you're in the right relationship. which is awesome yeah I wanted to Pivot. slightly because I feel like you you. pointed out your tie earlier and I think. this is great outfit we have we have to. talk about it but you know I feel like. your whole career from day one it's been. operating in a male dominant like even I. mean this article headline was so this. one 15 years ago New York Times she. plays with boys and Rivals don't like it. it's crazy. right it's like 15 years ago even now. like comedy's definitely more male.

dominated has been and I think it's a. really interesting thing because I've. been speaking to a lot of my uh male. friends recently either married or have. have girlfriends long long-term. relationships and a lot of the women. they with feel really scared about. pivoting careers feel scared about. changing their identity about how. they're perceived in their small. community of friends and these aren't. people who are saying I want to be. really famous or I want to be really. rich it's just people think like maybe I. don't want to be a doctor or maybe I do. want to do this or maybe I do want to be.

a yoga instructor or maybe I do want to. do Fitness or whatever it is it's people. making just genuine choices and it's. funny because when I'll talk to my guy. friends about it they've all done it and. it feels really easy for a guy to like. somewhat change his perception and. identity whereas for women it feels a. bit harder if if you had to say. something to them what what would you. say to women who are feeling like it's. hard two things one I do think that. women do have like they have the. biological clock in their head where. they're like okay if I switch this and.

then I have kids at this time and then. I'll be behind like there's they're. dealing with like that kind of stuff I. do have to do a shout out to my parents. I think I was raised a very I don't if. it's Unique but I was raised very like. genderless like I wore whatever clothes. I wanted to wear I my dad really treated. me I wouldn't even say like a boy just. like I was never said I was pretty it. was about like being hardworking and I. think growing up as I got older and. people started to be like you're a girl. you're not allowed to do that I was like.

that's hilarious and I'm going to show. you that that's not true and I think. even like wearing the tie I joked that. like it makes me feel people are like. listening to me more like I could say. things I don't know about and people are. like she sounds like she knows what. she's talking about and I love playing. with the gender roles cuz I think. they're socially constructed in a way. but I also do realize now that I'm I'm 3. three and some male Comics their careers. are popping off like mine where I'm like.

if I want to have a kid I have to do it. in the next couple years how is that. going to affect my trajectory where they. cannot have they don't give a about that. and I'm used to being like there's no. difference between me and you but then I. realized like oh there is. differences but I like to be in terms of. like my feminism people get confused. thinking that feminists are like men and. women are equal we're not we're very. different in so many beautiful ways and. like we want equal opportunities but. we're going to go about it our own way.

so it's finding like what is your. superpower as a woman and I do think. with women this is good women love to be. over prepared and overqualified for. things before we do it I'm working on. this new bid about like I say a lot of. men are pilots because no woman would. just wake up and be like I could fly a. plane like she would have to be like so. good at flying planes to finally be like. can I fly a plane yeah and then I joke. like if women flew planes we'd literally.

be lost all the time and like need. snacks and stuff like that but. anyway there's it's. multifaceted so I think with women stop. waiting to be like overprepared to do. something good advice and I think so. many men will just be like a little bit. confident and be like I'll figure it out. where women like even at job interviews. I feel like men will be like I'll figure. out where girls will be have to be so. overprepared to even go into the. interview M like even when I was like a.

sports reporter for a second I had to. show that I knew Sports soing well to. even get in the same room where like a. dude they just assume he knows it. because it's like sports so for girls. I'd say do things you're you're not. qualified for I was not qualified to get. a Netflix special but I did it if you. looked at my resume you'd say that girl. should not have a Netflix special. but I did and it was top five on Netflix. so I think for the girls don't wait till.

you're overqualified challenge yourself. and you gain confidence when you're able. to do something you didn't know you. could do that's great advice I love that. and your spot on I remember looking at. the studies a few years ago it literally. said that if a guy looks at an. application and he can do four out of 10. things he'll apply and if a girl looks. at and she can do eight of of 10 things. she won't apply I literally have chills. I have chills cuz that is so true and. women are so competent but I guess they. like there's like a safety thing with it.

I do have to say something about. experience they did a study somewhere I. swear this wasn't from Tik Tok but a. study about like doctors and how some. new doctors were actually better than. doctors who had like 40 years of. experience because they were actually. like fresher more open-minded more. upto-date and just how like just cuz. someone has more experienc with you. doesn't necessarily make them better. than you at something yeah my advice for. like job interviews is. I would go in and be like I don't have. the year's experience you want but this.

these are all the ideas I have of what. I'm going to do so don't wait till. you're overqualified like do things. you're underqualified for and see what. you're capable of so needed that's great. advice I love that Han I love that. Hannah if your younger self was to look. at you now if you were to go meet her. and she saw you having the Netflix. special doing what you're doing today. touring what what do you think she'd say. she wouldn't imagine it but I feel like. she'd be like that's awesome M I do. think there was a time when I was like. 24 and I was like in sales or something.

and one of my cousins said like he was. going to move to LA to be an actor and I. remember getting like a. guttural jealousy that I was like not. expecting and looking back I I was like. why are you jealous that your cousin's. moving LA to do acting that's insane you. don't even want to be an actress but. deep deep down I did and I like didn't. admit it to myself cuz it's like a lot. to admit that you want to be a performer. or want your dreams it's scary to say.

what dreams you want for anyone who's. feeling like a jealousy towards. something that's the Universe telling. you you want to do it yeah and it's. crazy that years later now like I'm. getting into acting and I tried so hard. to fight it but the universe was like. you're not doing that you're not doing. that until I got in this Lane I like to. say even though I've never surfed it's. like surfing where like when you find. the right wave it's going to feel easier. and you're going to love it it's going. to be fun so like find your wave that.

jealousy point is so clear I feel like. we're living at a time where it's so. scary to share your dreams with someone. else because you're scared it might. remind them that they're not chasing. theirs and you're scared that they may. react and tell you not to chase it. because they don't believe in you and. the truth is they never had the strength. to even give themselves the Worth to. chase theirs yeah and then at the same. time you're scared of hearing it because. it might remind you of the doubt you. already have in your own abilities and.

the fears you already have and the. insecurities you have that it's not. possible for you and it creates a really. messy situation in society I feel. because you have less people wanting to. chase their dreams less people rooting. for them and less people admitting what. their dreams are and that feels like a. really bad place to live where dreams. are becoming buried deeper and deeper. and deeper inside someone's soul and you. know never get seen yes and so if. someone's feeling that and they're. feeling that jealousy which you so. beautifully said could be a sign or a.

signal that that's what you want to do. what would you say is the first three. steps someone should take if they think. they have a crazy dream they may never. have done it before they don't really. get it but they they feel that deep. inside of them it's always been there I. was always obsessed with successful. people like I'd look at like Rihanna and. I'm like what is different about her. than other people and it when you strip. it down it always starts with she tried. like 80% % of it is being like I want to. be this and I'm going to do it and then. I like to literally sit down and like.

say something crazy like okay I want to. get a Netflix special then I literally. go backwards of all the things you have. to do to get there okay get a Netflix. special you'd have to perform in front. of someone on Netflix how do you do that. you'd have to be selling out theaters. how do you do that you'd have to get JFL. how do you get JFL you'd have to go in. the clubs how do you get in the clubs. you'd have to start writing how do you. start writing but doing it tomorrow so. then it's like you literally have the. path and it starts so small and I think.

so many people don't want to go through. the whole path and then when you think. about it it's like you just have to to. go do it it's actually a lot less. overwhelming when you think I just have. to write tomorrow then be like I have to. get a Netflix special in two years but. realistically I got a Netflix special in. like five years of Comedy plus Co which. is crazy but it's cuz that wasn't the. plan it was just I wanted to be my. myself and have fun doing comedy yeah. it's so funny uh seven years ago I had a.

production company reach out to me from. La they' seen my first ever video that. had gone viral and they loved it and. they' reached out and said we want to. build a TV show around you and so I was. like I couldn't believe it because I. just started creating content and had a. viral video and I thought that was cool. enough as it was so anyway I like flew. to LA on my own dime I didn't have a lot. of money then sat down had meetings went. back and forth worked on creative on top. of my day job came back to pitch it. again on my own dime like I was trying. to figure out how I was going to do it.

we pitched it and no one wanted the show. but I built loads of great relationships. and so I built all these great. relationships at streamers production. companies became really good friends. with some of them but no one liked the. show idea that we had and it's and it's. so funny because I always look at that. and I go I'm so glad that an idea that I. didn't fully own that wasn't fully mine. got rejected because then I built this. even though at the time you probably. were like at I didn't make it yeah at. the time it was just like it felt like. everything was going not everything was.

going wrong but that that was the big. moment and I fumbled it somehow and like. right it was like I felt like I fumbled. yeah you just felt like you just dropped. the ball yeah you were like that was my. moment and that's it when life has like. so many moments I one of my favorite. things to tell people is especially with. like video creation people would be like. what if I told you the 15th video you. post is going to go viral how quickly. would you post the next video I kind of. am obsessed with the gritty work it was. this concept I think like with tennis.

people would say like are when are you. practicing when people aren't watching. are you practicing in the rain like that. type of like sport stuff so I feel like. yeah people will go and do the flashy. stuff but I think I get ahead cuz I'm. doing this boring stuff that people. don't want to do so when you realize. like oh someone got a Netflix special. cuz they did the little tedious things. that are actually anyone could do it's. just people don't want to do it so it's. like put your head down and like you can.

accomplish anything well said Hannah it. has been such a joy talking to you. honestly I so much fun I love this is. actually like the I love talking. about I mean I'm I'm like we have to do. this again I feel like a um motivational. speaker but just through like queef. jokes but like I actually feel connected. to you cuz I love through my jokes like. inspiring people to see the world. differently even though it's not that. serious at all but I do love like. motivating and I love coaching and I. love making people inspired in some way.

yeah well I think everything you shared. today has been super powerful and I know. my community is going to love it you. bring it out of me oh no I love it you. you brought it you brought it we we end. every episode with the final five the. Fast Five that we asked to all guests so. Hannah Berner these are your Fast Five. question number one what is the best. advice you've ever heard or received oh. I like this quotee that says even when. it's raining the hoop is always there. not to give like more Sports. but it's basically like you're not. seeing it but like you're actually okay. and the world is your oyster you just.

are there's a cloud right now yeah I. love that uh Second question what is the. worst advice You' ever heard or received. probably people who just think they know. better than you about your own life and. like telling you based on their own. experiences when you're completely. different to be like I wouldn't do that. if I were you well you're not me so uh. question number three what is something. you think people don't know about you. people probably would not be surprised. they heard but I'm like really messy. like I have trouble keeping the.

home like okay and I but I lean into it. and I'll be like I'm a creative but like. some of my friends are so organized I'm. so jealous of them but like I will. always go to edit a video before like. putting the dishes away and then I will. never put the dishes away so I'm kind of. like don't have my together in the. home I love it uh question number wait. what St side are you a Leo Sun Virgo. moon but clearly just about work and um.

Scorpio Rising okay oh wow you know all. of it wow all right question number four. question number four apart from your. apart from your astrologer was it that. you DM who's the last person you DMD. it's probably Paige my co-host because. after the show we see all these like. funny videos from the shows and I'll. send it to her and be like that was. funny that was cute um so we're just. like enjoying when we get home looking. at all the stories I love and question. number five we ask this to every guest. who's ever been on the show if you could. create one law that everyone in the.

world had to follow what would it be I. think children should have more mental. health in schools like I think it should. be a law that kids should learn start. learning more about like happiness. mindfulness meditation like I don't know. why that wouldn't be in the curriculum. when that's like the most important. thing to having a happy life mental. health by Hannah banon yeah mental. health. school I love it get the kids start them. young. I love it everyone go and watch uh we. write at dawn right now and if you don't.

follow Hannah already make sure you. follow her across Instagram Tik Tok and. all of social media Anna I'm so excited. for us to continue our friendship and. thank you for having me honestly you are. so much fun to talk to if you ever want. to just I might have to open for you on. one of your live oh oh my gosh I would. love oh my God I would love that you're. so kind people would be like okay you're. so kind to oh my gosh that's an honor I. love that that's such a kind offer. that's so sweet I'm going to take you. off on that we we'll see if your your. team allows it.

yeah what up to Helena she'll definitely. allow it uh Hannah burner everyone as. you can tell not only hilariously funny. got so many great insights thoughts. wisdom I mean you can drop the mic today. Han amazing and uh I really hope we get. to hear you do more tennis commentary. more sport comment like all of it yeah. I'm excit yeah I'm excited to see it I. think I work for ESPN yeah I love it uh. anaba thank you so much thank you so. grateful if you love this episode you're. going to love my conversation with.

Matthew hussy on how to get over your ex. and find true love in your relationships. people should be compassionate to. themselves but extend that compassion to. your future self because truly extending. your compassion to your future self is. doing something that gives him or her a. shot at a happy and a peaceful life.