(Exclusive) Nicky Jam Opens Up For The First Time: Fame & Wealth Made Me Relapse!

I've never opened up in in any of these. shows about this. I don't want to be. boxed as this role model just cuz people. want to see me as a role model. I'm a. human being. With more than three. decades of hit records, awards to prove. it, please welcome. Nicky, Nicky, Nicky Jam everybody. What age did you get to where you were. like, "Oh, that's not normal." You're. going really deep. My mom not being. there made me not care about living. Now, I'm going to tell you this though. I forgive, but I never forget.

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What would you say is your earliest. childhood memory that has defined who. you are today? Packing groceries. at the supermarket and freestyling. while I was doing it. That's the way I. was discovered. I would always go there cuz. I would make $20 by quarters cuz they. would give me always quarters every time. I packed groceries. And I'd make $20 with that. I'd buy ham, cheese, milk, cigarettes for my dad and.

stuff like that. And I will go every day. I will walk probably like 30 minutes to. go there and uh. that's me, you know, always try trying to like take care of. my family. Uh but at the same time. having fun while I do it, you know, rapping and doing music and making. people laugh and making people having. fun. That's Nicky, you know, that's. that's that's the Nicky I always have in. my mind even when I was in those dark. moments. That's what went through my. head in those moments. That's amazing. So, you're packing groceries, that's. your job, and you're freestyling to the.

customers groceries that you're packing. It wasn't really my job. I was I was 12. years old. It was illegal for me to work. there, but the guy, the manager from the. supermarket, he would let me do it cuz. cuz he knew I was trying to make some. money. So, every now and then he'd be. like, "Okay, Nicky, you got to go cuz. you know the supervisors are here. whatever." But I would let you know I. would I would I would pack groceries. I. would freestyle like you know the. lettuce and tomatoes and like I would I. would rap rhyme the food that I was. packing. I became like a little. celebrity there. And people were like, "Yo, this is kid that he be rapping.

while he's packing groceries." And. everybody wanted to see me over there in. Puerto Rico at the supermarket in. Bayamón. This lady came to me once and I. was I didn't I I wasn't in a rapping. mood. I was just, you know, packing. groceries. It was a bad day or whatever. She looks at me and she's like, "So, you're not going to rap for me?" And I'm. like, "Yeah, so I'll rap." And I started. freestyling and she was like she was. shocked cuz I was so I was a kid. I was. like 11 years old. And she was like, "Can you come with. me?" I'm like, "No. I don't know you." And she was like, And I'm like, "Why should I, you know,

go with you?" And she's like, "My my. husband. he's a producer for this record label. and I want him to hear you." And I'm. like, "Okay, in that case, yes, let's. go." So, I got in the car with her. She. took me to her husband and uh. I started rapping for him and um. next day he was in my house with a big. ass contract like this. I told my dad is like, "I don't even. know what it says." I'm like, "I don't. care what it says, just sign it." You. know what I'm saying? Like, I want to I. want to get my first deal. And that's how I got my first deal, you. know, working at that supermarket. Uh.

the album was. wack. It was horrible. I mean, how. creative can you be when you're 12 years. old? I had to write all the lyrics. myself. And I was I wasn't really good. writing in that moment. I was more. freestyler, you know? Yeah. Um but I did a album uh. it didn't sell. anything. Can I curse here? Yeah, of. course you can. Of course you can. It. didn't sell [ __ ] So, but the good thing. about it um. DJ's recognized me. uh all over Puerto Rico. The famous mixtape uh era was coming.

Yeah. I started, you know, recording in. these mixtapes and I became one of the. like one of the biggest artists in the. mixtape industry, you know, included. Daddy Yankee that obviously Daddy Yankee. was like the the boss in that moment in. in the mixtape. He He was already in uh. the boss in those days. I'm talking. about 1992, '93, '94, those those years. And uh yeah, I mean, from the album. nothing happened with the album, but. I got to be a little I got to be a. bigger.

singer and more famous in Puerto Rico. cuz of these mixtapes. Yeah. How did you. not let like at such a young age, I can. imagine that feeling like you're getting. a record deal, you've no idea what. you're signing, but then as you said, the album was. wack. How do you deal with the fact that. was there any negativity at that time? Like, no one cared. I was just I was. just happy I had a deal. Yeah. See, the. thing is, in those days. the urban music the reggaeton music was. not even something that was happening.

So, just for me to have an album and. show people that I had an album for me. was big. I didn't care about, you know, having hits or cuz I didn't know about. that, you know? I I I didn't even To be. honest with you, I didn't even think my. album was going to be a hit. You know, cuz I knew about the people. that was doing big in those days we had. Vico C, Brewly MC, all these rappers. that were killing the game in the urban. industry in Puerto Rico. So, I know I. was nothing. like them, man. To be honest with you, when I got to Puerto Rico, my Spanish.

wasn't really too good cuz I was born in. in the States. So, when I got to Puerto. Rico, I had to learn the language. So, if you listen to that album, um you know, closely, you would realize. my my Spanish wasn't really that good. So, imagine a guy a kid singing, writing. when he's 12 years old music, his. Spanish is not the best. Obviously, I didn't expect for it to be. the best. I was just happy I had an. album and I was signed. Yeah. That. that's that's makes a lot of sense. I'm.

just trying to put myself back into that. age and thinking how would I felt if I. was you. But, one of the things that I. saw, I mean, the docu-series that you. had on Netflix was incredible. Like, it. was. super powerful and I remember when I. think it was like 2018 when it came out, but there was something that was really. powerful in that there's the scene where. you're you have this experience of when. you run into watching your mom outside. of the restaurant having sex in a car. Yeah. Like, that moment feels like a. defining moment as well in your early. life.

Walk us through your head space in that. moment. Wow. Well, the reality of everything is. that I lived in a street where. girls would, you know, would uh work as prostitutes in the. corners. And uh I would see my mom, you know, in. in in uh. in those corners. And when she got into. a car, I knew what was going on. So, when you're a kid and you see stuff. like that, obviously it it affects you,

but at the same time, you think it's. normal. cuz you don't know better, you know? You haven't seen a different world. You. only see what's going on. The only thing. that would probably made me think it's. not normal is watching TV and seeing. families on TV. and stuff like that, but. I just thought it was my life and to be. honest with you, the whole street where. I was living, kids were living like. that. So, it was kind of like normal, you know, like. it was it was it was kind of like.

normal. The reality is it's not normal. Today, I suffer cuz of situations like. that, you know. Even if I I have success in my life, even if uh. I'm doing really good and stuff like. that, sometimes I go back to those. traumas, you know what I'm saying? I go. back to those moments that uh that. affects my life. A lot of people think. cuz I told my story it's done. And that's a lie. That's not the way it. works, you know? You still have it. there. You still have it in your head.

And. even the situation with my mom and. everything I went through living in the. hood and all the stuff that I saw, you. know, when people come from the war, they they have PTSD, right? They need to. get medication cuz of that and stuff. like that. The reality is when you live. in the hood and you see all these stuff, like stuff that I saw with my mom and. situations that I saw in my house and. stuff that I saw in the hood about. friends of mine getting shot and other. people that are not my friends getting. shot and stuff like that, you get PTSD, too. But, people don't understand that.

So, when you get a situation when you go. through uh you know, back to the. darkness, even if you're successful, people judge you and they like, "Oh, he's back again.". You saw my story. You saw what I went. through. Why would you. why would you judge me? When I came out with my story, you said, "You deserve everything you have.". It's funny cuz I always did deserve. everything I had cuz I worked for what I. had. All those moments, especially like. the moment that you just talked about, you know, my mom cuz my mom your mom as.

a man is everything for you. For sure. You know, she's the base of the house. She's the one that take care of you. She. you know, she she makes you think that. everything's going to be okay. Not having that. causes an effect in me in every. situation. Even with my kids, I don't I. don't know how to give the love that I. have to give cuz I never had it. You know, a lot of people be saying. sometimes uh. yeah, I'm going to give my kids. everything I didn't have. That's not the. way it works. If you don't know how to do it, how can. you do it? Mhm.

It affects me in every way, but uh. the good thing I have a good sense of. humor. And uh even in bad situations, I. I laugh and I make people laugh. I try to uh enjoy myself the best. But uh I hope that answer your Yeah, yeah, it does. No, thank you for being. so open as well and vulnerable, man. I. think it's it's amazing to see that. because you're so right that when you're. living your life, it looks normal. What. age did you get to where you were like, oh, that's not normal. Like when when.

did it kind of register where you were. like, oh, wait a minute. That's not what life. looks like for everyone. Wow. You're going really deep. Okay. I could say this. Um. My mom used to whoop me cuz I used to. pee in my bed, right? Mhm. I don't know. She probably didn't. understand it. It was not something that. I wanted to do. It just. it happens. I wish. It's It's a normal thing kids do, yeah. I think when kids pee on their bed, I. was like probably 7 years old, something.

like that. It's just a problem that they have and. automatically it happens. It's not like. you wake up and you It's not like you're. like, I don't want to go to the. bathroom. It's more like it's something that. happens. You wake up and you just pee on. your bed. So, this uh this kid, this white kid, uh. his name is Billy. I wish I could find. him wherever he is. Uh. Billy Genetti is his name. I've been. trying to look for him on Google cuz he. was my best friend when I was a kid and. I can't find him everywhere. Probably. had a a his his name was different and I.

knew him as Billy Genetti. He studied. with in school and everything. I stayed. at his house. I stayed at his house, you know, it was. he was this kid, you know, typical white. kid that had everything, you know, Atari, Nintendo, and all that stuff, and. his mom had his room decorated with, you. know, a boy's room with, you know, posters on the wall and stuff like that. And I stayed at his house, and I peed I. peed on on the couch where I slept. I woke up fighting cuz I thought I was.

going to get my I thought I was going to. get my ass whooped. And she comes to me. and she sees me that I'm up cuz I turned. on the light. Billy's mom? Billy's mom. And um she's like, "What happened? You. okay?" I'm like, "I'm sorry. I I. I peed on my bed. I peed on the bed I. peed on the couch." And she's like, "Oh, it's okay. Don't don't worry about that. I'll take care of that." And you know, she she gave me clothes so I could take. a shower, and she gave me food, and she. took care of the situation. I was. shocked. And I was like, "Oh, so this is how it.

should be. This is how it should be. It's not. it's not a. it's not getting whooped, you know. And this is how she probably treats. Billy.". And that's when I realized that uh. what was going on in my house wasn't. normal. I that situation of me uh. peeing on the bed affected me so much. that cuz of my mom doing drugs and not.

taking care. what was going on in the house, I would. go to school with my clothes smelling. like pee. And the teacher. uh. in front of the kids would spray me. spray cuz I would smell bad. With cologne? With uh with the spray. with the yeah. Deodorant? The yeah. And she would spray. me in front of everybody. Obviously, the. kids would laugh and and. that affected me as well. Obviously, cuz. it's it's embarrassing, you know, like. in front of everybody.

That's how important it is for the. parents to do their job and take care of. the kids, you know, cuz. it's just, you know, it's not it's not. something that uh. a kid should go through, you know? Mhm. Why do you want to reconnect with Billy? What would you What what what makes you. want to reach out? Well, he was my best friend when I was a. kid. Yeah. I just want to know how he looks. like. I want to know is he okay? I want to. know if he's alive. I want to know. if he remembers me. I want to know if he. knows that I'm famous. He was my best.

friend when I was a kid and we went. through so much and I wish I could see. him again. I mean, I don't know, would. you want to see a. uh uh. You know what? It's so funny cuz I have. a similar probably How old were you when. you and Billy were friends? Uh probably. like uh eight, seven years old. So, when I was at primary school, elementary school in in in England, it. was I had a friend that I recently. connected with again cuz I was talking. about him on the show and then he. reached out. His name's Ian. And so, me. and Ian like he was my best friend in. primary school since we were like four,

five years old. Me, too. Exactly the same. lost touch after 11 after we were 11. years old and we went to different. secondary schools. How old are you now? I'm 36 now. 36, yeah. And so, it was like, but I haven't seen. him again, but we did message a bit and. it was just. Oh, I've googled his name 50 other ways. and I just can't find him. His name I I know I I wish you could see. this show. I mean, his name is Billy. Janetti. Yeah. I know him as Billy Janetti and if. if you see this show, please, you know, hit me up on Instagram and DM me and let.

me see if I could uh at least uh meet. you again and talk to you again. I would. love to. Yeah, that's beautiful, man. Yeah, no, that those kind of friendships. are uh different and yeah, that. nostalgia of being able to look back and. see. Oh my god, I love And I'm very. nostalgic. Like I really I I I I have. I'm fascinated with the past. And not. only with my past, with the past. Mhm. Like I see movies from the past and. I go crazy. I don't know why I like them. so much. Like I like to see how simple.

life was in the past. I think it's so. complicated now with all the mess and. you know, yes, we need it and stuff like. that, but I used to like the way it was, you know. Would you say your life's. become more simple or more complicated? It depends in what terms. Yeah. If you're going to say in terms of. temptation, it's simpler. If you're going to say in terms of. uh. a better lifestyle, no.

Even compared to what you grew up with? Yeah, I mean, I I. You My girl's here right now and she. knows that I don't even touch my phone. anymore. I don't care about it anymore. I just. feel that it's just toxic, you know? And even though we need it, I use it cuz. we need it, but it doesn't make me happy. anymore. I'm one of the first. influencers. of the Spanish reggaeton not reggaeton, the first influencers there was back in. 2014, you know, when Instagram started.

I used to do videos everywhere, sit down. here, sit down on everywhere, show my. lifestyle, show the way I would talk to. people from the streets and make people. laugh and make jokes and stuff like. that. And it came to a moment where. record labels wanted to obligate me to. do it and I it just didn't feel organic. And when something's not organic, um it. just doesn't feel good. What you're. doing right now, you're doing it cuz you. like it, you enjoy it. But when they. tell you you have to do it, it's different. Yeah, it's You know, it's different. You're doing this cuz you like it. I can.

see you enjoying your job. As nice, as. badass, but when you when they like, we. need you to do content because they like. Nicky Jam being an influencer. I'm like, no, I'm not an influencer, I'm a singer. I do music and I started. influencing people by Instagram, but do. not obligate me to do something cuz. automatically is not anything that's. obligated, it's not organic. And what's. not organic doesn't look cool. Yeah. You. know? Yeah, yeah. And it doesn't work. Yeah, it doesn't work, 100%. think we're living at a special time. right now where you can own your own.

media and you can, like you said with. this show, like we can make it as long. or as short as we like. We can sit down. with whoever we want to find. interesting. Like, yeah. Record labels. when I turn on a live. or I do something, they see how my. everything goes up, numbers go. and then they're like, "Oh, we need you. to do this.". I don't want to do nothing you need. I want to do something I need. Mhm. I. want to do something I like.

I want to do something I enjoy. Mhm. If uh you tell me you have to sing, I. don't want to sing. If you tell me, "Can you please sing?". I'll probably think about it. Mhm. But. there's nothing better than singing when. you want to sing. Mhm. You know, when you want to do. something, you enjoy it more. And that's. just the way I am. Even in a. relationship. if my girl tells me, "Go get me a cup of. water." I'm like, "Hell no.". If she tell me, "Baby, can I get a cup. of water?" I get her 150 cups of water.

And I rub her feet while she's drinking. it. Cuz that's just the way I am. Mhm. You know what I'm saying? That's just. the way I am. I I don't I I don't want. by command. Mhm. I've never been that type of guy. And that's why I have the success that I. have cuz I always live life the way I. want to live it. It's a beautiful way to. live, but the world's kind of set up. with all these rules and contracts and. things you have to sign and everything. So, how have you managed to hold on to. that? How have you kept that when there. are so many demands and "Nicki, do this. Nicki, do that." Like.

I don't do [ __ ] nobody tells me to do. I've never been that guy. And that. probably could be a a situation. Sometimes they call me and they say, "We. need you to do a video for this show.". I'm like, I'm not doing it. Mhm. I just I don't do stuff people tell me I. have to do. I don't work like that. I don't like people telling me there's a. structure of life. There's a There's a. blueprint of living. Hell no. I live the life the way I want to live. it. I'm a good guy and I always work. with everybody and I listen to people.

cuz I'm open, you know, for ideas and. I'm open for everything. I'm not open. for commands. Mhm. It's just that. That's just the way I am. And if you. tell me, "Nicki, what do you think if we do this?" You. know, and I'm like, "Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Why? Why? Why? I want to. know why." Yeah. "Well, cuz I think if. you do this and we do it this way, we. could do that and this could happen.". And I'm like, "Okay." Yeah. "Okay, let's do it. Let's work." You. know, I'd I'd rather work that way than. a command. Yeah. And telling me I have. to.

And just That's just the way I am and. that's That's the way I've been living. for years, you know? That's what I was. going to say. It makes sense for you. because you've had to. be your own boss and make decisions in. tough times and you've had to. I know and I've paid and I've paid. my dues cuz of that, too, at the same. time. I've been. I've been situations where I almost got. killed. a lot of times, not once, probably like. 50, 60 times. Uh been in jail. I've been through so many things.

cuz I do whatever the I want to do, you. know what I'm saying? But at the same. times, I've done so many good things cuz. I do whatever the I want to do, you. know? I've had so much success and it's. not even about success. It's about. helping people, too. Mhm. Cuz the mean. of everything is. my whole way of thinking about things is. I want people I want to inspirate. people. Mhm. If I open a restaurant, if I do a song, if I give away a uh uh a squad a.

scholarship, anything I do, even if I. [ __ ] up, I want people to get. inspi- inspirated by it. Cuz the reality. is we all. Mhm. We're human beings. We're not. angels. We're not We don't have wings. and [ __ ] We all up. So, I want people. to, you know, see things as inspiration. I And I like, you know, to be honest. with you, I know people think, you know, they saw my story and and they see it. like, "Well, you know, he's already has the his success. He had.

his bad moments. He He woke up like the. phoenix." Cuz they call me the phoenix. in the in the in the urban music game. Cuz I came from the ashes and I came. back and I did a comeback and, you know, I conquered the world and the world. soever soever. But the reality of everything is. I still go through [ __ ]. I still have my bad Not bad days. Bad. months. Or I could say a whole bad year. Even if. I have success.

You know, cuz we have these skeletons in. the closet that are trying to pull me. back. You know, the past is killing me. And a. lot of people be like, "Let the past. go." That's not the way it works. You know? We have. a lot of people, especially men, going. through mental health, you know, mental problems. And. they just don't talk about it. They're. scared of talking about it. It is not. easy for a man to do it. Cuz a man. always have to have [ __ ] together, you.

know? Like, "I'm a man. I never have a. problem. I'll take care of everything.". But that's not the way it works. You know, I go through anxiety. sometimes. I get panic attacks. I get nervous. I get the shakes. I get a lot of [ __ ] I start thinking. about cuz I'm a human being. You know, and I went through a lot of. [ __ ]. And I'm paying. a lot of things that I went through and. a lot of things that I did in the past, you know, even if I have success, even if I help. somebody, even if tomorrow I'll give.

$100 to a homeless guy or give away a. scholarship through the Grammys, or or I. don't know, give away a whole concert. for free, or whatever I do, I still I. have my I smile, but I go through, you. know, my bad moments. So, it's just. you know, it's just life. Yeah. It's just life. Yeah, what creates the. It sounds like it almost feels like you. have that to share today. Like you've. come here with this feeling of like, I. want people to know that despite the. success, despite the outcome of my.

journey from like a lot of pain to. finding my genius and flow and the. greatness that you've achieved, that you. want people to know that I still have. human emotions. I still have issues. What would you say are those things that. come up now? What are the roots of. those? What are those. No, I I I going to I'm going to be. honest with you, and I have I've never. opened up in in any of these shows about. this. I've been going through alcohol problems. these last. this whole last year. Mhm. It's cuz for some reason the past. came back to me. And people have seen.

this, you know. And and it it affect me. in a way that even um. I. uh. I even said I was going to. retire. And that's a lie. I'm not retiring. I. will never retire. I even posted a. video. I edited a video, and I posted it. that I was retiring. It was the alcohol, you know. I've been. battling with this for a couple of years. now. I could say one or two years. You know, I can't say I'm a alcoholic. cuz I I say I'm an alcoholic, I'm lying.

An alcoholic is a person that sees. alcohol and starts shivering and drinks. every single day, but I go through my. days where I go crazy five or six days, and. and people seen this, and. to be honest with you, I'm uh I smoke. weed today. cuz I'm dealing with the anxiety of not. drinking. And I've been stopping, you. know, drinking and all that cuz of the. weed. The weed been been helping me in a. way, and people seen me smoke, and they. like, "Oh, he went back." Well, weed was. never a problem for me. It was It was.

perks and cocaine and other stuff. I. We was never a problem for me. So, when people start seeing me smoking. weed, they were like, "Oh, he went back. again." And all they saw me drinking. alcohol, "He went back again.". Reality is, I've always been battling. with my situation. You know, I just I've. just had good years. Mhm. Seven, eight, nine years. And then I, you know, I have. my struggles again with other stuff.

Mhm. You know, you could say the. alcohol. The weed I don't see as a drug. It's just the way I see it. I smoke, it. makes me chill. I get hungry sometimes, I eat. I laugh. And it make gets my mind off all the. negativity and drinking and stuff like. that. And I just felt judged by people. Like, you know, like, just cuz I stopped. doing the other stuff, and I've been. clean for so many years, and then they. see me smoking weed, or they see me.

drinking alcohol, they judge me, but. they saw my past. Mhm. And it's it's. contradicting, cuz it's like, okay, so. you see my past, you say you feel bad. about my situation, you understand my. situation, but then you see me fall in. any situation, or you see me do anything. to deal with my anxiety or my present. moment, and you judge me. And yeah, I do feel a type of way. It pisses me off. I ain't going to be. lying. But I can't I can't get mad at the same. time, cuz people don't understand. And.

you can't get mad if people don't. understand your situation, you know? But at the same time, can you judge somebody if you don't know. the situation? Hardly, yeah. Who are we talking to? I judged my mom. for so many years until I heard what. happened to her in the past. And that's why today I respect my mom, and I understand my mom. She had a crazy. past. So, you know, I wish I could share it, but out of respect for her, I I won't do.

it. Cuz I don't I don't know if I have. the green light. Like stuff that I did. talk about my mom is cuz I had the green. light from her to talk about. But uh probably one day. I come out and do another series. Hey, you know, and and she gives me the. green light to talk about whatever. But. I don't think I'll do another series. about my life. I think what I did was. enough. And I don't want to. In a way, I don't want to I don't want. to be in a box. I I feel people box me. like this like the um.

How do you say this in English? Because. I think in Spanish so much. Um like a role model. Mhm. I'm I'm I don't want to be a role model. I I I appreciate that people see me as a. role model. But I'm a human being. Mhm. And if I. have to be a perfect human being to be a. role model, I don't want to be a role. model. I want to be a human I want to keep. being a human being. I want to be able. to fall and get back up again and fall. and get back up again and and fall and.

get back up again. I don't want to be. boxed as this [ __ ] role model just. cuz people want to see me as a role. model. And after I did this series. people see me as this guy that can't. [ __ ] up. Why? Mhm. I'm not an angel. When you go. to church. a lot of people would say, "Ah, I don't. like going to church cuz I see [ __ ] in. church that I don't like and I see. people from church doing things they. don't have to do." They're not angels. Mhm. They're fighting their battles. Mhm.

You cannot expect them to be perfect, even the pastor. He's going to [ __ ] up. Mhm. He's a human. being. Now, we in the we in the sky, we. with God, and there's angels [ __ ] up. I understand. But none of these. [ __ ] got wings. They're human beings. People don't. understand that. And it's easy to judge people, you know? It's easy to judge people, but. if you had my money, and you had my. power, and you had my past, and you had.

my career, how would you manage it? You know? You can't say. you know how you're going to do it cuz. you never had it before, you know? Hey, you're just catching me as I have. my midday pick-me-up. I'm sure you've heard about Juni. Radha. and I put all of our love into creating. this amazing drink. It's full of. nootropics and adaptogens. Great for. that little boost of energy, enhanced. focus, and a happy mind. And guess what?

It's only 5 calories and absolutely no. sugar. I hope you're going to try it. out. It's available right now at Target. If you're a Target shopper, head there. right now. And at Sprouts as well this. summer, go grab your Juni. It's powerful. to hear that having context of your. mom's past was so helpful in you making. sense of who she was and why she was. that way. I want to know for you, what. was it that took you to drugs the first. time, and what was it that took you back.

to alcohol this time? Like what were the. two motivations that took you there the. first time and now as well? Drugs was some was part of my family. since I was a kid. My uncle died of AIDS cuz he he shot. heroin. uh using somebody else's needles. He. died in my face. My dad did drugs. My mom did drugs in. the house. My uncle did drugs. My other uncle did drugs.

Everybody in the house would come to my. house to do drugs, and I would see that. A whole bunch of zombies in my house. So, this started since that. And then when I'm 11 years old, I moved. to Puerto Rico, and kids in Puerto Rico. were doing drugs like nothing. in the hood. I'm not saying everybody in Puerto Rico. does drugs. Where I was raised, it was normal for to see kids doing. drugs. And at 11, I started smoking weed. And from weed,

couple of years after I went to coke. What made me do coke was a. What's the first girl that I had? She. She left me for another man. When I was. 14 or 15 years old. She left me cuz I. was a kid and I didn't have a job or. nothing like that and she left me for a. man that had a job and had inspiration. and had all that, you know, blah, blah, blah. And uh. My mom abandoned me.

So, to have another girl abandon me, it. affected me in a way so big that uh. I did I started doing cocaine. Mhm. And. from there, I uh. It went from cocaine to. heroin, heroin to ecstasy, ecstasy. to. any type of drug until I got hooked with. the with the perks and you know, codeine. and I was doing perks, 30 perks a day. for years. I cleaned myself for years.

cuz you know, I got my [ __ ] together and. I said I know it was destroying me and. it was destroying my body and destroying. my mind, destroying my health. But uh when I had success and I did it. all and I was. all this money and. you know, it's lonely at the top. For some reason, that lifestyle took me. back. to the past. And. I started going out. I didn't do.

anything and I was bored and somebody. had a. thing of champagne and I just took one. and I started drinking one and from. there went to give me another one and. there give me another one and then I. started traveling and I went to Europe. and then the base where I was staying. was Amsterdam during the week and um. I had a little bar in the front and I. started. drinking and drinking and drinking and I. I thought it was something that I could. do, you know, and and while I was. touring during the week and then. weekends I would perform.

Went back to Miami, it wasn't the same. I was still in Amsterdam even if I was. in Miami. Mhm. And that's how I got back to it. Mhm. Where do you go for help? Like when you. clean the first time and now you're. being so. open about this challenge that you have. right now. Like how have you been able. to find the right help to support you. through that journey? Myself. Myself and my people, my girl. You know, my girl would tell me, "Nikki, you drink and you sleep for two a whole. day.". And I'd be alone.

That affected me. I'm like, "Oh [ __ ]. Like really? Like. I'd leave you alone for like 8 hours and. shit?". And all this [ __ ] that I've I would do. that I wouldn't remember. You know, and I'm like, I don't want to. be that guy. I don't want to be a guy. that does things and don't remember. So that that that helped me a lot. People around me see people around me, you know, not liking me being this guy that's. drinking and you know, I've had fun. I. ain't going to lie. This whole time I. I don't want to make it a sad story. I.

don't want people to think that I've. been like sad and crying and. I've had a lot of fun. A lot of fun, but. too much fun is not good, you know? Yeah, too much fun is not good and uh. and if you forget [ __ ] and you don't. remember [ __ ] is bad and that's why uh. I um. I started smoking cuz I would get a I'm. very anxious. If you see me here, I. can't stop moving. That's just the way I. am. I've been like that since since I was a. kid. I've never told this story before, but when I was a kid uh I ate uh lead.

paint with lead. They paint the house where I was living. with lead. and I used to eat that. Oh, wow. When I was a kid. So, that lead got into my blood. And that lead affected me in a way that. it makes me very anxious. Mhm. Uh my sister had it, too. And um. so, you know, all the drugs that I did. in the past and all that affected my. nervous system, so. I'm a very anxious person.

And I ain't going to lie, the weed helps. me a lot. It's been helping me a lot. I. probably somebody hears you like, you. stupid, you know, you leaving something. for another thing or whatever. I mean, I. do whatever I got to do to like to feel. better and I'd rather. smoke than drink and I'm not doing the. percs I used to do in the past with the. cocaine, etc. And I don't even know why I'm telling. you so much [ __ ] I appreciate it. No, man. I I I think it's I mean, it's real. It's real and Oh, I'm real. Yeah, and. and if anything, I'm.

it's impressive how aware you are. of yourself having had so much trauma. stress, pain. Like, you're so aware. Like, that's what I'm noticing in you. I'm listening to you, I'm like, well, this person is so aware. You're so open. to people in your inner circle being. able to share their feedback with you. Yeah. You said it's lonely at the top, but it seems like you've surrounded. yourself with people that can be honest. with you and are honest with you and.

that's beautiful. you could have good people next to you. and still feel lonely. Yeah. It's weird. I don't know how to explain that. Mhm. For some reason, you can have uh good. people next to you. Have a good circle. of people. Have good friends. Have a good girl. I have a. I have beautiful kids. My kids are big now, you know, they're. all in college and high school and. I'm not the typical guy that calls the. family every day and checks on them. I'm. the guy that when you call I'm there,

you know? My dad calls me and I'll be there in a. second. Anything he needs. My mom as. well. My my kids as well. Even my friends. Mhm. Uh sometimes I. just don't want to be next to people, but it's not cuz I'm a jerk cuz I love. my friends. Mhm. And my friends have. been my family for a long time cuz. you know, I've been on the road so long. I've been more on the road than in my. house, you know, traveling the world. I've traveled the world. I've done so. much. around the world that. to be in my house is just.

something that doesn't happen. But, uh. but yeah, sometimes you still feel. lonely. It It's It's just a. Yeah. the traumas, man. The traumas take. you take you there. But, I deal with it. I mean, I'm just opening it up to you. I'm not It's not that I'm like I was. I've been laughing my whole way here. Yeah. I have a good time. I make fun of myself. I joke around. everywhere I go. Yeah. I have a lot of. fun. But, you know, I'm a human being and that's what I want.

people to understand. I have my days. just like you. I have my depressions just like you. I. have my insecurities just like you. I. have my. all that [ __ ] that people think we don't. have cuz we have money. We have cars. We. have. all that [ __ ] that the reality is. just nothing, you know? The end of the day. is just when you're alone in that bed, you know, and you're dying in that bed, you don't. have a Ferrari next to you. You don't have. a whole bunch of girls next to you. You.

don't have a whole bunch of friends next. to you. It's your family who's there. with you, you know? So, I Mhm. I'm real. Yeah. Now, walk me through. there's there's some things you said to. me that I think, you know, people won't. experience once, let alone 50 60 times. You were saying like nearly been killed. Like, what is that? That must be a life altering experience. But, when you've had it 50, 60 times, I. mean, do you become immune to that? Does. that just become normal? Walk me through. that. now. No, not now, cuz I left that life a. long time ago, but yeah.

At that time? At that time, yes, of course. Yeah, I. was I didn't care. Walk me through one of the events of. that was the worst, like that was the. closest. Oh, my god. I mean, there's so. many things I can't even talk about cuz. there's a thing Well, I could I could I. could almost talk about. I was at this. club and um. um I just bought a gun. I bought a gun and for some reason this. gun if you if you if you if you lower. the safety. it shoots. Cuz it. cuz the gun was they they put it fully.

automatic. in a in a street in the street way. So, I bought this gun. I went into a club. The way I got into the club with the gun. is funny. I put it in my chain and I. tucked it in. Security guy touched it. I said it was, you know, it was it was a. if you had like a. like a How do you call that? Like a rosemary or something like that. or Santa Maria or anything gold Yeah. they you can't they can't touch it cuz. it's prepared. It's it's a Puerto Rican.

thing. And so I got in my gun and I shot the. the gun inside there and then. the Not at someone, just No, no, I I. didn't want to shoot it. I I lowered the. safety and it and it shot. Right. So, I'm in the club and the the big guy. from Puerto Rico, the one that it was it. was I'm not going to say names, but the. big guy. he was there and his right man was. there, too. Then they tell him, "Yo, Nicky's shooting in the club." And then. the big guy knew me, they you know, the. top guy, he knew me and he was like,

"No, you know, it's Nicky. I'll deal. with him. Don't worry about that. It's. my boy.". But then I was hiding myself behind this. guy cuz I knew I just shot some. shot the roof of the club and I didn't. want nobody know it was me and I had an. argument with the guy and the guy said. he was with the top guy and I said, "I. don't care you with the top guy, but he. told the top guy is like they can say he. don't care about you.". So, his right-hand man came to shoot me, and then I shoot my way out. I shot him, too, and. and they gave me that phone call.

Saying, "Bro, wherever we get you, it's done." That was a scary moment cuz. I know who this guy was, and he was one. of the biggest guys biggest guys in. Puerto Rico. Long story short, the whole. music industry helped me not get killed, and. I had to pay my way to help the guy cuz. the guy had a. uh he had. uh how do you call this? Um.

He was uh he had diabetes. So, when you. get if you get shot having diabetes, for some reason, it affects you way. more. And I had to like pay a lot of money in. that moment. We didn't make that much. money in the industry in the music. industry. And I got out of that, but that's just. one of the stories of of a whole bunch. of stories I could tell you. Wow, man. And like you said, it's there's real. fear there. There's No, man. If a guy. like that calls you and tells you it's. done, it's. you know, it's it's one of the worst.

thing you could hear in your life. Yeah, it's just I went through a lot of stuff, man. I went through a lot of stuff, and. I was just a rebel. My mom not being there made me not care. about living, you know? And just just. It's just the way it was. How long were. you ever in prison for for the longest. time? Like 3 years. 3 years in one. stretch? Yeah. Walk us through what 3 years in. prison looks like because I feel like. again, most people only see it in the. movies and you know, it's glorified in a. TV show. At the beginning, you get all. claustrophobic, and you feel like.

uh you feel like you're going to die. I. mean, come on. You used to living in a. house, and from living in a house, you're living in four walls. Like this? Like smaller than this? is huge, bro. No, I mean. from your from your from where you are. to where I am and probably a little bit. over here. That's it. That's all you got in a toilet. But the reality of everything I've. always been. the soul of the party.

So I made these people have fun. I sang. for them. I made jokes all day cuz I'm a. joker. I'd be doing jokes. And uh. people love me, you know, people love me. and uh. they were going to give me 6 years and. from 6 years I came out in 3, so I try. not to talk too much about that cuz they. were crazy days, but. but I could tell you that I I I thought. for one moment everything was going to. be done when I got into that place and. uh as soon as I came out. coming inside it is not a problem.

When you come out and you uh. front everything that uh you left before. you went inside jail. Just like drugs, you know, you stop doing drugs and then. you got to. confront yourself with all the things. that made you. get into drugs, so. I don't know. I uh. I I just I'm just happy I'm not I'm I'm. outside. Yeah, yeah, No, I'm fascinated. because it's such a unique life. experience that you know, I don't get to. speak to someone who's had that.

experience and then had the other. experience that you've had. So to me I'm. just curious because I feel like we have. such a limited understanding of. that life experience from the outside. in. Like you have no clue what it looks. like to have that experience. And I love. what you said that it's actually harder. when you come out and you've got to see. where everything's kind of. you've got to catch up with life. Catch up with life and you know, you. know, and then. come back and do a comeback and it was. worse. I came out and it was worse and worse. and worse and I did more drugs and more. drugs and it was.

it came to a moment I I looked all. messed up cuz perks. was a drug that would not will make you. eat. Mhm. So, I was a drug addict. I was a big drug addict, you know what. I'm saying? I was a overweight drug. addict. I would rather be a skinny drug. addict, it makes more sense. But, uh I wasn't. I was eating all this. [ __ ] and you know, and overweight and. just, you know, embarrassment embarrassments. embarrassments. So, it was just like it.

was just horrible. But, uh. you know, moving to Colombia. changed my life. Mhm. Why? Why did that change your life? Well, the reality is uh. sometimes you have to move. You know, you can't stay in one place. and uh they called me for a show in. Colombia when I was in my worst moment. And I went over there and I performed. Reality, I I acted like I was my own. manager and I changed my voice.

They're like, "Yo, can we get uh Nicky. Jam for the 18th of. One moment, let me let me let me put my. manager. Yes, what do you need right. now? Hello. Changed my voice and acted like I was my. own manager. And um. I went to Colombia and I'm thinking over. here I'm the worst guy on the [ __ ]. list of singers that's going to be in. this concert. You know, all these kids. were popping. They were like killing the. game. I haven't been in Colombia for a. long time, so I go over there and.

I'm over here thinking, "Damn, I'm. singing these old songs, you know, I've. been. out of the game for so long and I'm. doing well and. you know, I don't I don't know if I want. to go on stage, you know, like I got. even nervous and everything.". And I'm seeing that all these kids are. performing and they're saving me for. last. And I'm I told the promoter like, "Bro, why are you leaving me for last? I mean, you got all these kids they're killing. the [ __ ] game right now. They they're. doing everything perfect. Like, why are. you leaving He's like,

"We're saving you for last, bro, cuz. you're the one people want to see. Mhm. You never did a show here when you was. really popping, so people want to see. you. So, when I got on stage, it was standing. ovation. I mean, people were like crazy. And it went from that to that same 2. weeks, I was doing like. 15 shows I did. Cheap, but hey, I made some money, and I paid the rent. Went back to Puerto Rico, paid the rent, bought me a self a car, da da da, da da.

da, and I'm thinking, what am I doing here in Puerto Rico? I. have this country that loves me so much. I'm working, and I feel good over there. So, I started It started for me like. staying 2 weeks, 3 weeks. to me saying, "You know what? I'm moving. here. I'm moving to this country, and uh I was. going through a bad moment there, you. know? I was going through a really bad. moment in Puerto Rico, and I went. through a lot of embarrassment and stuff. like that. So, people in Colombia was.

seeing me as an idol. An icon. They're like, "Nicky, you're an icon.". I'm like, "Icon? What do you mean? I'm. I'm broke.". An icon? I'm overweight, broke. How you going to call me an icon? And. but people. See, when people give you that love, and they say you're the best, you. believe it. So, thanks for that people giving me. that love and saying I'm the best, I did. believe I was the best until I became.

the best. And I conquered the world. I realized the country had more than 65. million people, and it was the YouTube era, and I said, "You know what? If I have one number one hit, national. hit in this country, I could probably have so many views that. I can make other countries want to. know why I have so many views.". And it went to from having one national. hit to five national hits.

and having. 15 million in one song. 20 million in another one, 30 million in. another one. People was like, "Yo, Nicky's popping." And from there it went. to Chile, from there it went to Ecuador, from there it went to here, Europe, da. da da da and then from there I did five. number one global hits. Did the World Cup, did movies in. Hollywood and. etc. etc. I did everything and. thanks to Colombia, you know? Thanks for.

the love they gave me. Thanks for the support they gave me. Thanks for making me think that I was. somebody bigger than I thought I was, you know? And that's just something that. I appreciate so much. Mhm. And that's why I love the country. everywhere I go. And I every country I. go, I talk about Colombia. I could be in. Mexico and I talk about Colombia. I. could be in Puerto Rico and I talk about. Colombia and I say, "Hey, if you got to. see two Colombians walking around the. streets, give them love. Why? Cuz they. took one of yours and they gave them.

love.". And that's just the way I see it. That's. the way I believe it, you know? If I see somebody from Colombia. struggling in my country, if I mean, I'm. living in Puerto Rico, I'll get them in. my house. I'll take care of them cuz Colombia did. it with me. They gave me love when I needed it. I owe them so much. That's why I always. try to, you know, show love and do. whatever I could do to help the country, you know? Mhm. Yeah, I really believe in. this idea of having a power place or a.

purpose place in the world. There are. certain places that. you move to that it feels like the whole. universe is conspiring for you to grow. and become something. Yeah, Colombia's exactly that. is that for you. And I appreciate that so much, you know? Even if I I wish I wish. um. I would have went before. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's I mean there's a reason. why like places become iconic for. something. Like you look at Silicon. Valley and tech, or you look at LA and.

entertainment, you look at New York and. finance, you look at you know, even I. was with my friend in you know, we're in. this we're in Oxford in England and like. literally every book that we grew up on. whether it was Alice in Wonderland or. Lord of the Rings was written in that. area of Oxford. Of course. So it's like you've got all these hubs. in the world where writers, creatives, artists, entrepreneurs gravitate because. there's an energetic pull in that place.

Yeah. And for you, you know, Colombia. sounds like it was that power place that. pulled you in. It was 100% and I. I'm really grateful. Yeah, I can see. that. For the country and I would always. give love and show love to the country. Yeah. Until the day I die and I don't. mind dying in Colombia, you know, cuz uh. I feel like I'm dying home, you know? Mhm. What was it like having that. conversation with your mom after you had. context of whatever she went through? What did it feel like to like approach. that? Cuz the reason I ask it is I feel.

like a lot of us judge our parents. for not giving us enough, for not being. there, for maybe, you know, creating our. trauma, etc. How do you then have that conversation. be like I don't judge you? Like this is. how I like how do you even navigate a. conversation like that? Um. my mom is not an easy individual. My mom is very complicated. She's not. she's not uh. Well, you got to understand my mom was a.

lady that when she was a drug addict. most of her life, you know? So I'm not going to talk to a typical. mom that's going to like talk to you and. say, "Yes, son, how you doing?" And the. it's, you know, a person that. literally was raised in the streets, you. know? So, having a conversation with my mom is not. the easiest thing in the world, but. I should I give her the message in a. strong way cuz I have my mom's. um character.

I don't know if that's the right way of. saying it. My sister has. my dad's. And my mom is a strong. woman and she don't take [ __ ] from. nobody. And I'm a strong [ __ ] I. don't take [ __ ] from nobody. That's just. the way I am. I've always been like that. since I was a kid. I was raised like. that and you know, my mom raised me like. that in in the small time she was with. me, she would tell me in school. She was. like, "If you go and you fight in school. and the kid the kid you was fighting. with,

he beat up more than you, I'm going to. whoop your ass when you get home.". Automatically, my mom gave me that. I got to whoop people's asses. If I go. back home, my mom's going to whoop me. and I'm scared I'm more scared of my mom. than the kid in school. So, she made me a tough guy, you know? She made me a tough guy. The conversation. was just me being strong strong to her. and telling her, "Hey, you know what? You did this. You went through this.

I understand you. I went through a lot of [ __ ] myself. I needed you. But you're here now and we're here. And that's all that matters, you know? And I take care of her. I bought her a. house. You know, I give her money monthly, anything she needs, you know? I take. care of her, you know? She It's hard. cuz, you know, to have a relationship. She lives in Dominican Republic. She. can't travel. You know, I've been fighting for her to. have her, you know, a pardon from the United. States so she could come back.

She can't have it right now. But, uh. I'll leave everything in God's hands. Um. Do you pray a lot? If I say I I a lot, I'm a alive, man. I have so much uh. It's so funny, man. I have so much ADD. that even if I pray, I can lose my self. frame. So, it goes from. know if I'm the only one that has that. situation. have that. Huh? I think we all have like.

a situation. But, I talk to God. Yeah, yeah. I don't pray. Yeah. Cuz praying has a process. Mhm. You. know, you praying is just not like uh. yeah, God, I need you to hook me up with. this and that. No, praying is more like, you know, like. you have to first say. you know, thank thank thank you for. everything I have. Ask for other people's. uh. you know, blessings and health and all. that and then Mhm. you talk about.

yourself. That's the right way of doing. it. That's the way the Bible says you. should do it. Mhm. I don't go through all that process uh. every time. I do it sometimes. But, I. talk to God here and there. You know, I. talk to God and uh I have conversations. with God. I feel like God is my best. friend. I know it's not the right way. I. know I should pray more. No, I mean, that sounds beautiful. Yeah. That sounds like the essence of. prayer. Yeah, I mean, I I I I well, me. being a guy that knows about the Bible. and knows about the word of God,

I know there's a better way Mhm. of. having a connection with God. and a better way of praying. They say. that you wake up every morning and you. get on your knees and you pray is the. right way. I wake up. nauseous in the morning with now like I. feel like I'm sick in the morning. I got. to eat something first. So, if I sit if I get on my knees and I. start praying and I don't feel good, I. don't feel like I'm giving the best. Yeah. I don't know if I'm I think you're.

all of us. I think that makes sense. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I feel like. I mean, can I at At eat a piece of bread. or something so I. so I could like really focus on praying. the right the right way. Um That's brilliant. I mean, look at my. passion. Look at everything I've been. through and I'm still here, you know? Um. I feel God has a purpose for me. He has. a huge purpose for me. And I feel God loves me the way I am. I. I mean, I I feel if I go to heaven and.

I'll probably like joke around with God, you know, and play around with his beard. and and you know, just just the way I. see myself. He made me. He knows the way I am. He knows my. essence. He made me. I have respect for. God. I love God and I know it will the time. will come where I would have to like. really. dedicate myself to God cuz he has given. me so much. and I haven't given him what I have to, you know? Mhm. So, I know I owe God a. lot. Mhm. You know, I.

That's beautiful, man. I'll pay him. back. I'll pay him back. You've had a lot of figures in your life. that have been important at different. times and of course, as you mentioned. earlier, like Daddy Yankee was in that. mixtape time and you know, growing you. and then of course, I believe the. relationship didn't go as you know, relationships fizzle out and don't. always work the same. Have you found a way to reconcile those. relationships as well or are you kind of. sometimes like if it didn't work out, part ways, move on? Well, the only person who I had was. situations like that or person was Daddy.

Yankee and I. me and him are better than ever. He just. He texted me. I think it was yesterday or today. He's in church now. He's he's he's he's. with God now 100% and I'm really happy. for him and he knows what I've been. going through and all that and we've. talked before. We had conversations and. uh. you know, me and him are like better. than ever now. So, I can't say. forgiveness. cuz. he didn't do anything to me. And. if we could say it was the other way.

around, he always tried to be the big. brother and I always tried to be the. wreck. Getting that a Yankee out of the. situation, any any person. that I've had problem with that done. something to me, I forgive and I feel. better cuz the forgiveness is not for. for them, it's for yourself, you know? And I. I feel better, you know? I've had. problems even here today. I have a. friend, he's right here with me and we. we didn't talk to each other for uh. I don't know, 4 years or something like. that. We was mad. We had a bad situation.

and now we're joking in the car like. nothing happened. I think that's the way it should be. Mhm. Life is too short. Mhm. You know? And uh. to hold grudges and be mad and [ __ ] and. be bad with people. just go back to people and. they gave me so much in a moment that. it's. it's crazy like not to be with them. They could [ __ ] up, too, you know? Mhm. You know, people [ __ ] up and sometimes. do things that other people will never. forgive. Now, I'mma tell you this, though.

I forgive, but I never forget. And with that, I'll say everything. Mhm. Last year, when I went on my world tour, something that I was doing throughout. the show was I was creating moments of. growth, but that were discomfort for people from. the audience. So, I would bring people. up. and I would guide them and coach them. through an uncomfortable situation in. their life. So, at the end of the show,

there was this one moment that we did. across the world. So, we did it at 40. shows across the world and I would ask. people in the audience if there was. someone in their life that they loved, but that they haven't talked to in 5, 10, 15 years. And people had crazy stories. There were. people who like hadn't talked to their. kids for 10 years, brothers and sisters. who hadn't talked for 5 years, you know, people who hadn't talked to. their ex for 7 years, whatever, all. these stories. And I'd invite someone on stage you felt.

comfortable and I'd coach them through. and they'd have to I'd ask them to call. that person on stage. in front of everyone, but not tell them. that they're at an event and share how. they really felt. And it was amazing, man, to see like out. of the 40 phone calls, 20 went to. voicemail, but 20 went through to the. person. And it wasn't about happy ending or it. wasn't about like a perfect. reconnection. It was about what you. said, life was too short to carry that. weight. Right. Of I love this person and. I haven't said it or I used to really. appreciate this friend and I we lost.

touch. We fell out over nothing or maybe. we fell out over something. When you're. reconnecting with people in your life, what what's been the thing that's. allowed you to. to have the courage to do that? Like. you've done it with your mom, you've. done it with Daddy Yankee, like where's. that coming from? That's just sneaky. I only have one friend that I didn't. talk to. that I had problems with. It was the one. I just told you. Mhm. I'm the stupid one. that always forgive people. When I say stupid it's cuz that's what. people tell me.

You know, not cuz I think I'm stupid cuz. I forgive people and I reconnect with. them again. I just. I don't care. Yeah. I just don't care. It don't affect me anymore. Like cuz. something affect me in the moment, but I. like I don't it makes me forget it. I don't know why. It's just the way I. am. I don't stay with that [ __ ] here. Probably it makes me a better person. I. feel No, probably it makes me a person a. happier person. Mhm. I feel that I'm a. happier person cuz of that.

I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm not. saying I don't go through [ __ ] Yes, I. have a whole bunch of situations in. life, but. I. have better quality of life cuz I. forgive. Mhm. I have no problem with. forgiveness. I have no problem with. sitting in a car with somebody that me. in the past. I have no problem with that. I don't. feel like some people with the ego them. off like, "Oh yeah, you think you me? I'm going to get you [ __ ].

I don't have that situation. Mhm. If I. love you back again, I love you back. again. You know, it's just the way I am, you. know? And I I'm I don't want people to be like. me. I just want people to. do whatever the [ __ ] you do to make you. happy. Mhm. You know? Whatever to make. Whatever makes you happy, just do it. That's what That's what I do. I ain't trying to live life the way. people tell me to. I'm trying to live. the way life the way I'm happy, you. know? That's just the way I am. Does. that apply to you as well? Do you think.

you can forgive yourself easily as well? You know, I've never seen me in a. situation where I do not forgive. where where where I need forgiveness for. myself cuz I've done people things to. people. I've been a good human being to. people, you know? Stuff I've done in the streets and stuff. like that are to people that are really. bad people, you know? So, I I don't know if I need. their forgiveness, you know?

But, uh. I feel good about me as a human being. You know, I'm happy and I'm proud of. myself. I've helped my family. I've. helped people in the streets. I've helped my friends. If I buy a motorcycle, we all have. motorcycles. If If I eat, we all eat. That's just the way I am. The guy in the corner, if he's there, he. ain't eating, come eat with me. You know. what I'm saying? I like helping people. I enjoy the smiles on people's face when.

I help them. I'm proud of myself cuz I'm that human. being. If I wasn't that human being, I. wouldn't be. I'm not a selfish [ __ ] I will. never be that guy. I see movies where. people help other people and then I cry. Tears like that. My girl's been with me. in the same room and she see me crying. like like a girl. movies. Why? Cuz I'm a good human being. When you a good human being and you see. people doing good, you cry. But if you.

see [ __ ] like that and you don't give a. I just think you a piece of [ __ ] too. That's just the way I am. Cuz you don't care. Why would you not care? Why would you. won't why why won't you see somebody. helping somebody else? Don't see that and. why wouldn't that that not affect you? It affects me in a good way. And it's. like [ __ ] So that I'm proud of myself. as a human being. I'm proud who I am. I'm proud that I like helping people.

I'm proud that I'm a real person. I'm. proud that I'm a person that if I up, I'll say it. up. You know? That's just the way I am. And I'm not perfect. I'll never be perfect. And I'll up tomorrow and I'll fall. But. I'll wake up and I'll clean my [ __ ]. I'll keep going. You know? Why did Why did you say you were going. to retire when you said today you were. like I would I would never have done. that? And then what has inspired Insomnia?

What what part of your heart and mind is. that coming from? Drinking. Drinking makes you say stupid. things. Make makes you get depressed. Makes you see everything Everything. closes It's not really. And that's what was going on in that. situation and it made me post a. a thing that I was retiring. I'm not. retiring. Never. Hell no. I will never. retire. Music is my life. Music is everything for me. But that's. what alcohol do. It up your judgment.

You know what I'm saying? And I've been. through that a lot. For some reason it. made me not care in that moment. But once I stopped drinking, I'm like. hell no. I erased that video and. everything. But no, I'm not retiring. You was asking. about the. Insomniac, the album. Yeah, what's that. been inspired by with this whole new. journey you're on right now? Like you. said you. If you listen to the whole album, Insomnia, all the songs. has something to do with the night time.

and me drinking and me partying and me. going crazy and me smoking and me. my love lives and stuff like that. So, the album has that. situation that I've been going through. these last years. Music is my art of expression. And I. uh. took my time to do this album. and I think it's one of the best albums. I've ever done.

Everything is just everything has the. same color. The album cover is amazing. It's really. what I've been through and like if you. see the picture, you would automatically. say, "Okay, this I can understand him. just seeing his face.". The songs from the number one song to. the 15th song. and not only that, apart from that, this song, Insomnia, that's the single that's coming out.

for me is going to be a global hit cuz I. went hard on this song. It talks about the situation of my. drinking and. all that, but at the same time, it's a. sad song, but it's a happy song. It's crazy. Like if you listen to it, you would never imagine. the way it started cuz it started as a. slow R&B sad song. And I told my boy, the guy that, you know, wrote the song. with me,

Sneakers is a badass, by the way. Thanks, man. I was telling him, "Yo, the song is. badass, but we need a upbeat. We need to make this [ __ ] upbeat, man. We need to [ __ ] This song is too good to. be just one of the. one of the songs in the album. You know, just one of the songs in the album. I. was like, "Hell no, we need to make this. [ __ ] a [ __ ] hit.". And I said, "Well, let's do merengue.". And I was in the bathroom with my girl. I started around, you know what I'm. saying? Like, singing the song. I don't. know what I can't can't look at.

it. I did it with my mouth. And I said, I call I call him a producer like, "Yo, let's try to do this." And And we took. it that route. Mhm. And bro, I think we. cooked a mega hit. So, I think the album. is just me expressing myself of what. I've been through these last years. And at the same time. it made good ass music. So, I want. people to enjoy it. I want people to have fun with this.

album and. you know, sit down and analyze the. lyrics cuz. everything Every song has a little. something that tells you about what I've. been through and what I've been going. through these last years. I know it's something amazing when you. start talking about the album you went. completely still. When I When I was When. you start talking about the music, your. whole body and leg everything went. completely still. Completely still. If. everyone rewinds and just goes back to. that you just you when you were locked. in talking about the music and the. album. I mean, it's my art, man. It's my art.

It It's what It's what makes. It's my psychology my psychology What is. that? Psychology, yeah. It's my. psychology, you know? And. I feel like it it it. it tells my story. It tells my. situation. It makes me happy in a way where I can. like express myself. And we're always misunderstood as. artists. And there's no better way to uh. clear the misunderstandings by your art. You You what I'm saying? Yeah. What's.

something that people don't know about. you that you wish they did? I don't know. I'm I'm so open. Yeah, that's what I was That's why I asked. I. was like, you. You share so much of your life. You're. so. people the way I am. I don't care. I. speak what I think. Uh it's really hard. What's something people misunderstand. about you that. you'd like to clarify? It could be my situations in my. relationships. A lot of people see me. jumping around from relationship to. relationship. Well, not jumping around, but I'd say uh.

I've had a lot of relationships that. haven't worked. And for some reason people think that I. just I'm just unstable. And not necessarily unstable. I just. think that. sometimes it doesn't work. Mhm. And it's. not easy being a. an artist and doing what I do and having. stable relationships. And if you've seen. my past and you see what I've been. through, you can't expect me to have. the typical picket white fence. relationship. You know, it's just not the way it. works. You know, I I didn't have that in.

my house, so why should I have that now? And. I'm always on the road and it's just. really hard. It's not like I'm a picky. guy and I don't care and I just throw. away girls like nothing, you know? But I don't care about that. I don't. care. The end of the day people will. never understand. you Yeah. 100%. For sure. And you can't try to make. people understand you. You don't need. to. Mhm. You know, I I I envy old people and. they're 60 years old and 70 years old. I. don't give a.

They don't care. They wake up in the. morning, they take pills, they eat, go. to sleep, and they don't stress about. anything. But in your age and my age, we're all. like, "Uh. life, I got to make money. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like. I want to be them. I want to not give a You know, I want to. not care. I want to just enjoy life, enjoy my friends, enjoy my family, enjoy. my girl. Yeah. Enjoy my fans, whoever.

are my fans cuz there's fans and there's. people that are not your fans that are. just talking [ __ ]. Fans don't talk [ __ ]. Real fans are there with you. Mhm. No. matter what you go through. If you're. up, you're down. You're fat, you're skinny. That all life. Mhm. They're fans. So, shout out to my real fans. I love you. [ __ ]. to death. For sure. For sure. How how hard was the. gastric bypass surgery you went through?

Uh. Was it very physically challenging? Was. it stressful? It was. It was stressful when I was in bed. before the surgery. Mhm. But after that, man, it was awesome. Yeah. I I enjoyed. it. I'd do that I'd do it again. I enjoyed it a lot, you know. Um. and it helped me a lot. Mhm. A lot of. stuff was messing up my stomach like. food that I was eating. Now, I don't. have that situation. Wow. You know, I. I feel better I'm better health. Play. basketball like I'm 20 years old.

I'm good, you know, I feel good. I enjoy. it a lot. It helped me a lot. Yeah. A. lot of food that I couldn't eat before, I could eat now, you know, healthy food. Yeah. So, yeah, I mean it. it was a hard process. after cuz you know, you're just drinking. liquids and [ __ ]. Mhm. But once you can start eating the, you know, How long do you have to be on. liquids for? I think it's like 2 weeks. Oh, wow. Just liquids for 2 weeks. yeah. 2 weeks is not easy. That's not. easy. I'd be eating popsicles. I was eating.

popsicles the whole time. I'm like pop. pop pop. Popsicle. [ __ ] it's been such a joy getting to. know you, man, and I appreciate the. honesty, the vulnerability, and it's. impressive to just see how aware you are. of everything going on when you've been. through so much. You've had some. incredible life experience and to be. standing where you are with being having. the ability to look in a mirror and be. able to see yourself and your. challenges. It's It's really special, man. So, I commend you and I respect you.

for that. and. at the end of the day this is therapy. for me, too, you know? So, I I. appreciate you. Sometimes we need it. Of. course. I think probably most of the times we. need it. So, of course. For me having. you, you know, you know, make me talk. all of this makes me live a lot better. and have a better day today. So, I I. appreciate you so much. I hope that uh. all of the people enjoy the show and uh. enjoy what we talked today and uh. you know, learn from what they hear and. and see it as as a constructive way and.

not a negative way, you know? Cuz. sometimes people. they try to see things a negative way, but uh. like I said, I've learned this. More stupid is the stupid that argues. with the stupid. Mhm. I don't argue with stupid people. anymore. I just. I ain't trying to be stupid anymore. They say it like that. So, I just sit. back, enjoy life, and keep going. Yeah,

for sure. We We end every interview with. a fast five, which means you have to. answer every question in one word to one. sentence maximum. So, you can have one. word to one sentence for each question. So, I'll ask you a fast five. It's a. light lightning round. So, can say I can answer with one word? Or. one sentence. You can give me one full. sentence, but no more than that. Okay. The first question is what is the best. advice you've ever heard or received? Live life. Second question. What is the. worst advice you've ever heard or. received? Don't live in Colombia.

Did someone say that to you? That's. funny. How many times did you hear that? Okay. And they said I was stupid. I was. I was like literally like. I was going to mess up my career and. look look what it gave me. Question number three. Your funniest. memory or the silliest memory you have. You can give more than one sentence. Oh. I have a funny story. The way I threw him.

So, I'm at this club. He's laughing, so that's good. This is a. good story, yeah. Yeah. I'm at this club, right? I'm at. This is This happened in in It's a kind. of long story, though. A little bit. Yeah, yeah, tell us. Yeah, yeah, go for. it. Yeah, so I'm at this club, right? And. then. I'm I'm I'm at a VIP party, there's some. girls there and stuff like that. And. this big, strong guy, ripped like this, he had so many muscles looking at me. He looked like a body builder or. something like that. He's like, "Yo, I want to go into the VIP.". And I didn't really want him to come in.

cuz I. I knew he was problems, you know what. I'm saying? So, I'm so I'm like, "Yo, you I don't know, I don't work here. You. talk to the to the to the bouncers." And. he looks at me, he's like, "I'm going to destroy you.". I'm like, "What the fuck?" He said, "I said I'm going to destroy you.". I'm like, "Shit." I'm like, "What?" And. I punched him. Boom. And he goes, "This is the best you have?". I'm like, "Yeah.".

I'm like, "It didn't hurt.". So, he punched me really hard. Boom. And he punches me really hard, and then. he takes me against the wall, my neck. like that. And he's And he's hitting me, and then I'm I'm calling my boys, and my. boys are not looking at me, and then I. had a watch in that moment, and. a big, heavy watch, and I take the. watch, and I hit him in the head with. the watch, and he just let me He still. doesn't let go of me. He has blood. coming out, and then the bouncers pick. him up. The bouncers take him, and then.

when the bouncers take him, I go like, "So, I guess he don't mess with me." And. then they they let him go. I'm like, "Yo, take him Get him again. Get him. again." They pick him up. And then we. get into this limo, right? We get to the. limo, and we have Imagine that how old. this story is. I'm in a limo. I'm I'm telling my boys like, "Yo, bro, you guys can help me. This guy. hit me up." And he's like, he's like, And then out of nowhere, they throw a. bottle at the limo. And then the little. Mexican dude is like, "Hey, this guy. wants some problem." And he said, and. I'm like, "Yo, yo, yo, yo, you don't. understand. This guy is not a human.

being. Do not stop. I hit him with. everything. Watch, he's everything. He's. not a human being.". And um. he wanted to stop. He wanted to fight. with the guy, but I knew the guy was not. The guy was. a Hulk, you know what I'm saying? So, they take me to the hotel, you know what. I'm saying? I'm all hurt and [ __ ] I'm. in the bed. And then out of nowhere, I hear the door going boom boom boom. boom boom boom boom. And I hear, "That. why y'all is three." Like, "I'm going to. destroy you." And I started. I'm trying to What did I do to you, bro?

Like, I'm screaming and all that. Then it was. my boys. They were making fun of me. They were making fun of me, man. But the story doesn't end there. Years go by. Years go by. I'm talking. about I don't know, probably like 10. years. I don't know, 12 years. I'm at I'm at uh the. Canales, where I'm where I had the. situation. And guess who I found next to me. This guy comes to me, strong. Not that. Not as strong as that time. And he's.

like, "You know who I am?". And I'm like, "Nah, man." He's like, "I'm that guy from that club you had a. problem." Like, "Oh, yeah, the You're. going to You're the destroying guy.". And he's like, "Oh, yeah, yeah.". He's like, "I'm sorry. I just want to. say I'm sorry, uh. you know, the steroids were messing with. me and. and I got messed up. But I just want to. say that if you ever need security, you. have me." And blah blah blah. And then. he became my friend. And now he's outside as your security. Nah, I wish I wish the story was that.

cool, but nah. That's awesome. That's just one of the. stories of my 100 stories I could tell. you, but That's a good story, man. man. That was a good pick. I like that. That was a great story. It was worth it. Loved it. Uh question number four, what chapter title would you give this. phase of your life? If it was a chapter. in your book, what would this chapter. title be called? Insomnia. Mhm. Nice. And question number five, it's the. question we ask to every guest who's. ever been on the show, final question. Uh if you could create one rule or one.

law that everyone in the world had to. follow, what would it be? Everybody give yourselves a hug. Mhm. That'll be my rule. I like that. Everybody give yourselves a. hug. That'll just be my rule, cuz I think the. world needs a hug. Mhm. This world's going crazy. And every day is going more crazy. And this [ __ ] is making it more crazy. I'm sorry, Steve Jobs. We need a hug. I love it. Nicky Jam everyone. Insomnia is out now,

September 6th. Uh Nicky, this is such a. such a joy. I've laughed. I've been reflecting with you. I feel. like I've been in your pain with you. I'm so grateful that you just opened up. One of the realest people I've ever met. So raw, so open. So vulnerable. I'm grateful, man. I hope. I get to spend more time with you, so. You will. Looking forward to it. If you. ever go to Miami, hit me up. I will let you know now. Yeah, I promise. on one drink. You can drink, man. You can do whatever. you like. man. I'm joking. Thank you so much. I.

appreciate you. Thank you, man. All. right, my friend. If this is the year. that you're trying to get creative, you're trying to build more, I need you. to listen to this episode with Rick. Rubin on how to break into your most. creative self, how to use unconventional. methods that lead to success, and the. secret to genuinely loving what you do. If you're trying to find your passion. and your lane, Rick Rubin's episode is. the one for you. Just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value. Like as. an artist, if you like it, that's all of.

the value. That's the success comes when. you say, "I like this enough for other. people to see it.".