Ed Mylett: Set Yourself Up For Success With These DAILY ROUTINES!

we're still operating the same time. construct as people did 50 years ago 100. years ago 200 years ago that is insane I. have 38 hour days in a day I get 21 days. in a week his dream was to be a. professional baseball player he's an. entrepreneur a philanthropist podcast. host today he's recognized as one of the. Premier Business Leaders in the world at. my your identity isn't your career. that's not your identity it's a very. dangerous way to live your life it's a. hack to confidence nobody talks about is. Jay this is an all-time great. conversation right now before we jump.

into this episode I'd like to invite you. to join this community to hear more. interviews that will help you become. happier healthier and more healed all I. want you to do is click on the Subscribe. button I love your support it's. incredible to see all your comments and. we're just getting started I can't wait. to go on this journey with you thank you. so much for subscribing it means the. world to me the number one Health and. Wellness podcast J shett J shett the one. the only J shett.

Ed you're so confident you're so strong. you're powerful but at the same time I. know that you are going for your own. healing Journey your own struggles your. own challenges like what's what have you. been working on inside wow what a great. question thank you for that I have to. say I told you off camera I if I don't. say this I won't feel right you have the. most unique combination of confidence. and humility about anybody I've ever met. those are the people I love the most I. love being around confident people but. they have these high doses of humility. which keeps them.

humble it it causes them to still want. to learn and grow they don't think they. know everything those people last the. longest in business and in any Endeavor. same time if somebody doesn't have a lot. of confidence you're feel like you're. carrying those folks your friends. through life all the time so in my case. you know I grew up as a son of an. alcoholic and I think to some extent. there's these this wiring that happens. when you're a child and so some of the. wiring I've recently discovered I had. Bert Cher the comedian on my podcast and. it sort of came out of me when he was. there Bert's a very well-known drinker.

and it's almost a joke about how much. that he drinks and we I asked him I said. Bert what kind of a husband or father do. you think you are and he said I think. I'm a 10 out of 10 and I think he is and. I told him I said you know I just. discovered something about myself. brother and it was that my dad's. drinking it wasn't just that I was. worried you know is he going to get in a. fight is he going to be mean or Mom and. Dad going to a disagreement I said what. happened was I worried about my dad is. he going to come home tonight is he safe. is he in danger and that wired into me. as a little boy the neurology the.

pattern of worry and fear and so as I've. gotten to be an older grown man I've. uncovered that the last year or two I. have a pattern where I have a tendency. my emotional home so to speak as I go. back to worry and fear and I don't want. to I don't want to live that way and so. I've been working on unwiring that. that's the thing I've been working most. on my healing journey is you know it's. okay everything's going to be okay I'm. blessed I'm favored and it's undoing. that wiring of worry and fear because we. all have an emotional home we all have.

three or four emotions that no matter. what happens in a given week or month. we're going to get it so if your. emotional home is anger or worry or fear. frustration no matter what the external. conditions are you're going to find a. way to get your hit of it because it's. your home conversely if your emotional. home is peace or equinity or Bliss or. ecstasy passion Focus you'll find a way. on a regular basis to get that emotion. that you're familiar with because our. we're wired for it in our bodies and in. our minds to be familiar with those. emotions so I just chose what are the. emotions I want do I want to live in.

worry and fear even though my external. life is so great I still have a tendency. to worry and live fearfully or do how do. I want to live I want to live in peace I. want some equinity I want Bliss in my. life and so I've been rewiring that and. it's something I've been really really. excited about and proud of that I've. done that work at you know at 50 years. old 52 now it's been happening oh wow. I'm so glad I asked that question. already I'm like because I think you're. so right I think everyone who's. listening will be able to relate to what. their wiring is correct from childhood.

where do we go what's our emotional home. as you just called it correct where do. we disappear to and it's really. interesting because I always talk about. my childhood similarly being quite. chaotic and quite intense but my. mother's love was like this protective. shield you've told me that that really. helped me and now when I'm listening to. you I'm actually thinking what I want. and I think what we're both trying to. develop is peace in the storm amen it's. equinity in the INB that's correct and.

in my case not to create the storm all. the time so so no but in all honesty a. few things I discovered a few years ago. I used to brag a lot I am unbelievable. under stress I operate amazingly under. chaos which is true because I'm so. familiar with it but what I found out. about myself was to some extent I. created a lot of it in other words I. wasn't comfortable in my life maybe. people can relate to this if they really. take a look at themselves I was UN. comfortable when things weren't a little. bit chaotic because in life we move.

towards really what we're most familiar. with we keep moving back to the familiar. that's why some people will date the. completely same person in a different. body you and I have talked about with. your amazing work right because we move. towards what we're familiar with so I. had a tendency in my life to create a. lot of stress and Chaos because I. operated so well in it it was a familiar. state to be in even though it didn't. serve me and so a lot of that work I've. done in healing and digging deep in my. life it served me not just in healing. it's made me a better businessman it's. made me a better father in often cases a. better friend because I'm not constantly.

creating this stress and Chaos around. the people that I love the most yeah how. do you stop creating stress and drama. well one is why do we do it and how do. we we do it because we're familiar and. we wire these things in our bodies and. so this is really technical stuff but I. anchor the good States and so what. happened was is that usually where. wiring happens is in a highly emotional. state we anchor it in our bodies. physically that's what we do and so the. way out of that is to begin to Anchor. the great States so I take advantage of. great States so for example just a few. weeks ago my daughter was home from.

college and we took a walk on the beach. and it was just this Blissful experience. it was me and the you know one of the. people I love the most in the world and. I'm feeling this great peace and love. from my daughters were walking and I. anchored it I literally anchored it in. my body I literally snapped my fingers. as I went and I anchored that state and. so or when I'm walking on stage I'm. about to you know have to speak and that. that adrenaline hits me and that. Euphoria this Spirit the energy hits me. I'll anchor that state physically and so. what happens is I'm rewiring myself. physically for example like I pray on my.

knees every night and so I've been doing. that for a number of years I feel great. peace when I pray what's ironic about it. is not only is the prayer now peaceful. but the actual physical move of getting. on my knees triggers that state so this. is a very detailed answer but I've. rewired the detail we want the detail. okay so I've rewired so everybody you. when you're in that Blissful State. everyone's ever heard a song from your. from a different time and it just. triggers a state it's not the words and. the music it's what was going going on. in that moment you've anchored it in.

your body so when I'm in a good State a. great state I take advantage of it I. don't let it pass I anchor it in my body. and I've sort of rewired myself so that. when these ones that I don't want come. along I have a neurology I can change. out of that move and do something. physical and it's simple it's not. complicated could be tugging your ear. feeling something on your shirt. something you do on your knees so I've. created like triggers in my life to put. me back in that state and over time. that's become my wiring now not the old. one this is more familiar to me than the. old one one tendency now is to move.

towards the familiar state of bliss of. Joy I'd say 75 80% of the time now. that's where I live whereas before 95%. of the time I live the other way I love. that advice and and please be as. Technical and as detailed as you like. because you sparked so much for me I was. thinking that actually the truth is. everyone already has subconscious. anchors that we're not choosing and so. an example is when I'm working with a. client often they'll say to me the. moment their head hits the pillow yes.

all of their anxiety goes crazy what is. that it's an anchored State it's. actually your head hitting the pillow. exactly that motion is creating a sense. of breathlessness maybe tight chested. mental anxiety and until you retrain. that act of I'm going to let my head hit. the pillow I'm going to experience peace. maybe I'm going to play a sound yes. maybe I'm going to feel a certain. temperature maybe I need to do some. breath work like until you reenter that. state like you're saying yes your head.

hitting the pillow will never change no. matter what you do no matter what you do. the external as long as the external. conditions of your life continually. dictate how you feel you're an. out-of-control human being so at some. point you have to do things internally. that change how you feel because the. quality of our life we you know this is. the quality of our emotions that's the. caliber of our life so I remember a long. time ago I'll tell you a quick Story. please I uh I was I had not made a money. for a long time as a businessman I. finally make some money finally right. but my OT tional home was fear and by.

the way the other side often times of. Fear Can manifest itself as anger it. shows up as anger but when you see an. angry person you're seeing a scared. person and so I was a worrier and a. fearful person anyway I was building my. first dream home and on the way over. there an appointment had canceled or. something and I was du and then the. contractor had messed something up we've. all had that moment and I walk into this. Mansion I'm building and I'm mad and I'm. stressed and I'm angry and oh where's. the contractor and I look into the. kitchen and there's five men there five.

or six men in there all men had come. from Mexico and these men had left their. families and the reason they had come. there was to send money home to their. families and work and they're in there. and they were doing work they loved that. they were great at working on my mansion. and I watched them for a minute I stood. and watched them and they had their. mariachi music playing and they were. laughing and joking and Blissful and. also doing work they cared about that. mattered that they were great at and in. that moment I stepped back and I almost. out of my body I went if life is the.

quality of your emotions they're kicking. my tail they're winning at life and I'm. losing I have all these things to be. grateful for around me but my home that. I keep going back to is fear anger and. worry these guys who had to leave their. families to come to another country just. to support them imagine how difficult. their life was there they had to leave. their country and their children to come. here to work to support their. families and they're joyous and Bliss. ful and doing work that matters to them.

and that they're great at and so I. decided it's not you don't want the. Mansion you want how you think it'll. make you feel you don't want the. relationship you want how you think. it'll make you feel you don't want to be. fit and sexy and jacked you want how you. think it'll make you feel so what if I. could get the emotions if I could have. these emotions maybe getting the things. I want would be that much easier and so. I focus now everyone has goals of their. physical things they want but for me a. lot of my outcomes now are emotionally. driven because I think if I'm in the. right emotional state I can produce the.

physical things I want yeah you make. better decisions you're more clear your. vision makes sense I completely agree. with you it's like and and I think a lot. of us feel like the more we do the more. we take on the more amount of things we. do the the more likely we're going to be. successful and I wanted to talk to you. about this in terms of your schedule. because I know that that's like you and. I have talked about this priv thing yeah. like walk me through your schedule what. does it look like right now it's been. but I have learned you and I just were.

talking about this I've learned to say. no and I've learned this is just recent. I am a people pleaser and so a lot of. times because I am you know have a deep. voice and maybe I look a particular way. you wouldn't know that inside as this. person I just want to please people and. make them happy because of my childhood. if my dad was in a good mood maybe he. wouldn't drink that day if I brought. home an A on my report card then he'd. show me love so I've I conflated in my. life brother love with signific ific an.

and I thought when I would do something. significant it felt like love but. they're two different things most people. are that way as well if I can just. perform if I can just do something. people will love me so I've changed that. and in my schedule so I I have learned. to do things that I love that make me. feel good that contribute my schedule's. busy though I mean I'm up very early in. the morning most mornings I've got a. routine that I do I travel quite a bit. just like you do but what I've really. learned to do is to choose things in my. life that both are productive Ive but. that also give me a sense of.

contribution and joy not just productive. anymore so I've said no to things. recently there's a TV show that I'm. doing right now another one came up and. I've always really wanted to do this. particular show it doesn't serve my. current dream so what I do is I check in. and I ask myself I audit is that still. my dream is that still what I want. there's this great clip on social media. going around right now with Jim Carrey I. don't know if you've seen this but I've. watched it I've sent it to so many of. our friends I thought I sent it to you. maybe I didn't and he says something in.

this clip I'll paraphrase it I'll mess. it up but he basically says in this clip. he says I'm goingon to say something. you've never heard an actor say before. and the interview say what's that and. Carrie says I've had enough I've done. enough I've made enough movies I've had. enough success I've won enough Awards. and now I want to just do things that. bring me peace and joy that's a. courageous choice in life and so what he. did is he audited is this still my dream. and I think a lot of times in life we. just have this dream that was given to. us by our parents or our friends or. there's an expectation and we're chasing.

a dream that was maybe never ours or no. longer is and so now I really audit that. I out it the fact of whether or not this. is something that is still my dream is. it consistent with where I want to go. now so but I'm busy you know I'm 1214. hours a day so my physiology matters my. hydration matters my juny water matters. all these things matter to me in my life. so that I'm feeding my soul and my. spirit so that I am my best when I come. do a a show like this today if anyone. doesn't know Ed was just on stage with.

our good friend Brendan bashad in La. came straight into the studio right and. and you always this energy like you have. the ability I think I talk a lot about. the difference between time management. and energy management and you're someone. that whenever I'm with you you're always. highly energetic you're always you know. there's that I feel that I feel your. spirit coming through your self well I'm. conscious Jade like you are I'm. conscious of something I think most. people are oblivious to and here's what. it is you you are always making people.

feel something most people aren't aware. of this no matter what you're making. them feel something it could be they. could feel important and needed and. loved they could feel slighted and. invisible they could feel that you're. demeaning to them but you're making them. feel something so I try to really focus. on my intentions when I met Wayne Dyer. when I was very young at that time he. was writing a book what a beautiful man. people meet him I've only read you. special well I got to tell you you. remind me a lot of Wayne a lot I mean. that and he was a dear dear friend just.

your spirit is very. similar and uh and I don't know a lot of. people that remind me of Wayne but you. do and he was so good to me but when I. met him it's a funny story it it's a. long time ago but I was I had luckily I. work out so I'd won my first trip ever. to Hawaii with the company I was at and. I got up in the morning before the sun. was up cuz that's my routine beat the. Sun up and I I ran on the beach and as. I'm running this man's coming towards me. I could see him bald guy sweaty hairy. back I'm like I don't want to bump into. this guy as he gets closer I go oh my.

gosh that's Wayne Dy it was in Maui and. he gets past me we're both wearing Sony. Walkman that's how old we both are and I. pull my Walkman I one of those too when. I was kid you're dating yourself now and. I go Dr Dyer you changed my life and. don't you love when someone says that to. you to this day I remember saying that. to him and he takes his head he had a. deep voice like me takes his headphones. off running and he goes I highly doubt. that he goes I bet you changed your life. but how did I help you and he stops the. Run Jay and he walks over to me and I. end up sitting on the beach for an hour.

and a half watching the sun come up with. Wayne Dy and at the end of the. conversation he says to me says Ed I. think you're going to change the world. now at that time I thought I was. probably the only person he ever said. that to in hindsight he probably said. that to a bun of people but and he said. and it's not because of your amazing. brain or your you have a unique ability. to communicate Ed but that's not why he. said uh you're a good. man listen to this what he said bro he. goes you're a good man he goes you have. great int intentions and he goes if we.

never talk again and we ended up talking. the rest of his life he said I want you. to always link your confidence to your. intentions not your abilities because. you'll be chasing that tail all your. life ahead so if he goes there's a great. he was writing a book at the time called. The Power of intention but I didn't know. that when I look for confidence like. before this interview or that speech I. just gave or for anybody listening. they're going into a sales call or a. meeting or a first date your confidence. isn't your beauty or your ability it's. your intent and so I always that's one. thing I know to be true about me I don't.

always believe in my ability or my. talent that's fleeting or what happens. when a a speech goes bad or a meeting. goes bad or a company goes bad I don't. want to predicate my confidence on that. I predicate it on my intentions and I'll. remind myself because I actually believe. I'm a good person and I don't think. enough people give themselves credit for. being good and kind and that they give. people Grace and they want to contribute. and help you should generate so much. confidence from that intent to serve. that you ought to walk into a room and. own it not because you're arrogant or.

you're amazing but because your. intentions are so good so this a shell. of confidence a hack to confidence. nobody talks about is intention and I. learned that most from Wayne and so it's. why I can bring an energy to something. because I'm pretty confident and that. confident isn't I'm going to say. something amazing it's that my intent is. to serve and so you vibrate at a high. frequency yeah this is why we get along. this is I can relate completely I've. always said whenever anyone asks me what. my morning routine is. the number one part of my morning.

routine apart from the meditation. workout all that stuff is refining and. purifying my intention I've always said. that because I feel like your intention. can either be a seed or a weed wow and a. seed is growing and a weed when it. starts to grow it looks the same thing. as a seed very good but my teachers. would always tell us that like a weed. will. strangle the seed like a weed will. completely destroy a great plant because. of its intention what are you I'm. curious that's so good that is really.

good what do you do with the weeds in. your life when they begin to grow around. you is you have a strategy for that yeah. I find that there's almost a mental. plucking and extraction process and it. starts with an awareness of why am I. making this decision or what is driving. me towards this and if the intention is. not love service Joy. growth then are if it's ego Revenge.

jealousy Envy greed if it's all those I. know those are weeds but that requires. me to sit still and sit quietly in order. to really be honest with myself when. it's uncomfortable to say oh Jay you're. just doing that because you're envious. and being able to say that to myself and. not hate myself for that but to realize. it's just a weed in a garden if you see. a weed in your garden and you start. hating the whole garden that doesn't. make any sense you just go and pluck. that weed out and so I feel for me it.

requires that awareness that Stillness. and then extraction that's really good. and it's and and I think that's partly. what probably why I think we get along. so well because of that intention but I. want to ask you how do you good develop. and build and help. people choose an intention that lives. off the page because I think we're all. used to now like my intention today is. right but that's not what we're talking. about how does your intention come off. the page and come into your day that's a. great question tell them all you. validate your intention with your action.

so I like to I call it validating it and. so I like to give myself evidence that. it's true I'll give you an example one. of the things right now that I'm really. working on in my life and it's not easy. for me because I've lived another way I. love to just share the things that are. negative about me because I think it. gives people hope if this guy as screwed. up as he is can win maybe I got some. hope and one of the things that I've. lived with a lot in my life is I think I. have judged people too much and not. extended enough Grace and but the last. 10 years of my life man I'm really proud.

of myself I've extended Grace to people. I feel better about me brother when I. extend Grace to another person I just I. just feel good about me particularly. maybe when they don't deserve it in the. moment give you an example give you a. quick Story please the stories are great. keep them coming I love it about three. weeks ago my kids were home for the. holidays and uh so we were at dinner and. this is treasured time with my kids cuz. they're both away at college and so we. walk into restur restaurant great. restaurant not like an amazing place but.

a good restaurant we walk in and from. the lobby I can hear these kids. screaming and I'm an introvert so I like. quiet meals I like to actually be able. to hear the people I'm talking with I. like quiet restaurants this was normally. a very quiet place is why I picked it. this night it was not quiet in there and. I can hear these children screaming and. you know when you're a parent like I am. sometimes you're like what is why don't. you I would never let my kids act like. that there's easy to judge and I didn't. so anyway we walk into this restaurant. and guess who we sit next to the table I.

could hear from the lobby there's five. kids at this table with two parents and. the kids are yelling and screaming and. one of them's running a circle out they. want them through some food and the. mother had kind of had her head down the. whole time and she really the my. tendency would be to judge that family. this is an extreme story but it gives. you an example of why I work on the. validating so it's good enough to say my. intention is to give people Grace but I. need to validate it Y and so my kids. were kind of looking at me cuz they know. they're dad you know and I went um I'm. going to extend Grace to that family.

right now and I actually told my family. I said you guys okay it's going to sound. crazy can we just say a quick prayer for. them over there they were like very. close to us and the rest of the. restaurant had noticed them too and so I. said let's say a quick prayer and they. go Max say the prayer I say it to my son. so my son says a quick blessing for that. family and my daughter says daddy let's. buy them dinner I'm like now you're. pushing me but okay but okay we'll get. their dinner too but we're not going to. tell them anyway so we extended Grace. and the entire meal they were noisy and. chaotic anyway the end of the meal they. left before we did and um so they left.

and it got very quiet in there and like. ah but the whole time I had extended. Grace I didn't judge them which would be. a tendency I would normally maybe do in. my past but now I'm validating this new. intention of mine anyway we pay the bill. and we leave and two days later I'm. hitting a couple golf balls at the golf. course and the server that night was. hitting Balls next to me and he said oh. Mr milet that was so kind to you to buy. the meal for that night for that family. in light of the. funeral and I said what he goes that. family that night he goes you know they.

had they had come there to celebrate. they had just left the funeral of their. grandmother I said you're kidding me and. he said no and the grandmother would. come in here with them they're a very. close family the kids don't normally. behave like that the mother that night. was so down it's her mom the kids are. extra close to her because their husband. when he was deployed in Iraq the. grandmother lived with them and sort of. raised them and so they had just left. the funeral that night and were having. the dinner and I went there you go you. never know what someone's carrying you.

don't know the burden they're carrying. it hurt people hurt people people in. pain typically will create pain for. other people and I was like what a. blessing that I've got to this point in. my life that I do extend grace even when. it doesn't seem like somebody deserves. it because you don't know what they're. carrying so I validated that intention. with my behavior and thank God I did not. knowing what they were going through so. it a really beautiful culmination of the. story that you just don't know what. someone's carrying extend Grace give. people kindness do everything you can.

not to judge yeah wow that's powerful. man that's St St yeah that's crazy but. it's and sometimes we don't always get. the reward of that Loop true but we have. to recognize as we know in our own lives. that we know we're always going through. something we know our friends are going. through something our family is going. through something everyone on your team. is going through something how we can't. extend that is is crazy but I wanted to. ask you something there's a lot lot of. people who I know will be listening and.

I know that our community and our. audience are good-hearted. loving wanting to be better people we. all want to improve as as do I I've got. so much more healing left to do and I. know our community does but they often. feel like even though they lead with. love everyone around them is causing. them pain is negative is toxic they. don't feel that around them and they. almost get exhausted trying to be this. bigger graceful Kinder person yeah and.

I'm sure you felt that I know you're the. right person to ask this question to. what do you do when you feel everyone. around you is bringing you toxicity. negativity and poor. energy how do you operate I reduce. proximity to them in those moments and. sometimes they they are the weeds that. needed to be weeded out of your garden. that's the most difficult decision but. sometimes it's not weeding them out it's. reducing proximity and then I've created. some Havens that I can go to to sort of. Escape that for a few minutes and so. some of those are actually people I've.

got two or three people in my life that. when these other people are losing it. and act acting in a toxic way or acting. out or antagonistic towards me or other. people I've got another person or two. that I can go to that shifts my state. that is my rock that is someone that I. can express myself to for some people. that might be therapy but in my case. I've got two or three just great friends. that I can go to they set me straight. they give me um they give me perspective. yes what great friends give me is they. give me perspective this will pass.

they're going through something Rise. Above This and see when some people walk. into a room they adapt to the energy in. the room greatness is walking into a. room and Shifting the energy and so I. have I believe I'm built for those. moments that over time I'm built to. shift the energy in the room shift it. and the way that you do it is to me it's. just really speaking truth to people and. sometimes in a kind way speaking truth. to them about their behavior and their. conduct and letting them know that. you're better than this you are better.

than the way you're conducting yourself. you're better than this and here's why I. do that truth I think vibrates at the. highest frequency and so if you want to. influence somebody you have to be. vibrating at a high frequency that's. telling someone the truth in the moment. you can tell the truth to somebody in a. kind and gentle and generous way but. when you don't address someone's. Behavior that's toxic towards you you're. not operating in truth and what happens. is you reduce your own vibrational. frequency and that can get worse so the. way you rise above and shift the energy.

in the room is actually by operating in. truth with somebody saying look I love. you I believe in you and that's why I'm. going to tell you the truth right now. yeah and here's the truth this thing. you're doing right now this way you're. handling yourself is so much it's so. beneath who you really are you're. capable of so much greater and I want. you to know I love you and believe in. you enough that I'm going to share with. you the truth and by the way there comes. these intentions too if someone if. you've sewn enough seeds into someone. they know your intention I think you can.

challenge people I think great people. are good at challenging other people and. the only way that you can challenge. somebody is they have to know you love. and believe in them first like even in. your companies you're just listen Jay's. life is just exploding right everything. about that he's got going so a lot of. people depend on you a lot of people. work with you and you've got to be able. to challenge them to to raise their. standard you can't do that first you. have to make deposits into people before. you can make withdrawals because anytime. you're challenging someone and saying I.

need you to step up that's a form of a. withdrawal it just is you have to have. made the deposits in someone of belief. and love first and then if you operate. in truth man your frequency is vibrating. real high you can shift an environment. and shift the energy oh I love that I. love that I love that and it's and and. it's not a technique it's it's real like. it's not like I always find like it's. not like you're being nice to someone so. you can ask for something back and. that's where you the way you're saying. it it doesn't come that way and I I love. that idea of raising and shifting.

frequency and I actually want to give. more people the encouragement and. courage to be able to do that because I. think we all do feel I can't shift it I. can't do anything I'm not in control my. reminder would be um truth is what. shifts the room and when you come from a. loving place in a truth-telling place. here's the other thing I said this to. you one other time I don't know if it. was on the show or not but I think a lot. of people feel inadequate about that. like I'm not qualified I'm not what. there's nothing great about about me. like I've never I've not achieved.

something or or the other thing they do. is they hold their sins or mistakes of. their life as like weapons against. themselves like you don't know about my. divorce you don't know that I did this. thing I'm not proud of you don't know I. had this business failure I didn't I you. know I've gained some weight and so I I. made a commitment to get fit and I'm not. anymore I'm not qualified to shift the. energy or change other people and one of. the best examples of that ever I've. shared this with you before is my dad. when my dad got sober it changed our. entire family's life life I mean it just. changed everything that one decision my.

dad made and after I wrote my book and. after my dad passed away I woke up one. night it's like 3:00 a.m. and I was. crying and kind of startled my wife and. she's like what's going on babe I said. babe I just realized something here I am. 52 years old my dad had been sober for. 35 years that's never dawned on me I. went someone helped my dad I've told you. this before and I she goes what honey I. said someone helped dad and that person. change my entire life like that act of.

helping one person the ripple effect is. I'm his son and I've been blessed to. reach millions of people around the. world that person doesn't know that. helping my dad changed millions of lives. and and she goes my gosh that's. incredible I said that's not the most. incredible thing the most incredible. thing is what qualified that man to help. my dad who I didn't know who he was at. the time she goes I don't know I said. not how perfect he was not how. stupendous not his amazing achievement. what qualified him to help my dad was.

that he was also an alcoholic at one. time he was a drug addict he lied he. lived in the shadows and so actually in. life we're most qualified to help the. person we used to be oh yes and so in. life it's not that you're better than. these people it's that you can help. people that used to be like you that you. used to operate in a way that didn't. serve you maybe you behaved in a way. that wasn't conducive with your. character because of that you're. qualified to help people that are. operating that way so you're immensely.

qualified in life to shift other people. if you're willing to be vulnerable and. Reveal Your imper you don't connect with. anybody going I'm amazing like imagine. the podcast I'm like brother you honest. with you I have no problems there's no. healing left I'm just kicking butt. everywhere I go and you're like well me. too man we're just trolling the globe in. Dubai together you know that's not the. truth the truth is the way you connect. is by going here's all the things that. aren't this is what we did in that which. we did in the car with each other right. so like that you're revealing your. imperfections that connects you with. people and just for everybody to. remember you were born to do something.

great with your life and when you were a. little boy or a little girl there was. probably one person who made you feel. that way and you ought to give yourself. the gifts right now of who is that. person when you're a little girl or a. little boy they made you feel special. and there's probably only one maybe two. maybe it was your parents or your. grandmother or grandfather a coach a a. religious figure there's someone that. was in your life and you felt something. about you because of the way they looked. at you or spoke to you and the amazing.

thing about that is they were right. about you they were right for me it was. my papa my dad's dad I'm named after him. and he used to drive and pick me up on. Sundays we'd go get donuts Jay to get. for my cousins before church and he'd. drive me I'd look up at Big Papa. everyone when you think about that. person you'll get emotional for you it's. your mom right and he would look down at. me and he'd go Eddie you're my favorite. he had all these gr you're my favorite. you're amazing you're going to do. something great with your life you're.

the special I go I am big papa I am and. this little boy I just could feel his. belief and his love he was the only. person who ever treated me that way the. rest of the world's never treated me. that way but big papa did and then when. other grandkids were born I remember my. cousin Peter was born Jay you'll laugh. at this and he called me goes hey your. cousin Peter was born today he's amazing. 6 lb 7 o he's got our blue eyes Eddie I. go that's awesome big pup and he go but. you're my favorite you're my favorite.

and all my life I've carried that. feeling from Big Papa with me yeah and. the truth is if you've had that person. in your life they were right about you. yes you're supposed to do something. great with your life and the reason it. makes you emotional when you think about. it now is because it's true and Truth. vibrates at the highest frequency so if. you're listening to this or watching. it's like have that reminder give. yourself the gift maybe your Big Papa's. gone now and not even here anymore honor. them with who you become honor them with.

the life you build honor them with the. choices you make and take that belief. imagine what God believes in you if that. person believed in you take that belief. and use it as fuel in your life to have. some strength and confidence to shift. other people's lives and for me that was. big papa yeah I know you've you I was. going back with you when you were saying. it and there's something known as a. loving kindness meditation it's very. popular in Buddhism in in Hinduism. there's a similar practice and I led.

this meditation when I was on tour with. every audience across the whole world. and what you have to do in this. meditation is you have to close your. eyes and you have to allow yourself to. re-experience a moment you felt the most. love for some people it's their wedding. day for some people it's their car with. their grandpa for some person it's their. mother whatever it may be and you have. to relive it feel it through the five. things you can see the four things you. can touch the three things you can hear.

the two things you can smell and the one. thing you can taste really immerse. yourself in it and then feel it in your. heart and then feel it Cascade from your. heart all across your body and then if. you try and give it out to your friends. and family to the stranger at the. restaurant wow to the rest of the world. it's so possible because your feeling as. you're saying that will never run out. amen your memory of your grandpa saying.

that to you that will never ever expire. it will always be there and the amount. that can be recycled into giving love to. others into feeling loved always whereas. what we do is we try and search for the. next person to love us you're right. we're searching for that next person to. say something amazing about us and with. that you're always running out you're. right because it comes once and it goes. and it comes and it goes whereas that. one person you're so right that loved. you Jay this is an all-time great. conversation right now by the way it's. cuz we just went deep we did went deep I.

think there's a validity to what you. just said too a truth that's just so. profound it's very difficult in life to. transfer to somebody that which you're. not experiencing so in order to transfer. true love and true belief in somebody. you have to be experiencing it so that. you can give it to somebody and so. giving yourself that gift allows you to. give it in abundance to other people. that's really good that was that's. awesome meditation I think one of the. reasons again why we get along but why. we're having this conversation is that. we both believe in this Paradox so we.

both talking about currently at the. beginning of this conversation have. talked about very like spiritual. emotional Universal ideas of existence. but at the same time we're both good at. getting stuff done yeah just yes not all. philosophy correct and I think that's. something that I've always tried to do. in my work where it's like I don't want. anyone in the world to just think that. oh if I change my mindset everything's. just because I don't want to fool people. people and I don't want to mislead. people because I know in my life that.

spirituality and strategy have had to go. together that sincerity and structure. have had to go together and I find that. that combination is what's allowed me to. live a fulfilling and successful life. and continue to create it you haven't. made a decision unless you've taken an. action to validate it yes exactly and. that's the thing that you're exactly. right people that come to our events or. may just hear this conversation go oh I. just really need to sit around and. really vibrate high and think about. things no you don't you have to put your.

feet on the ground and you've got to go. to work and you've got to the real truth. is if you've made a decision and it's. real you'll validate it with your work. you'll validate it with your effort and. the choices that you make and the truth. is this like here's the other thing a. lot of my confidence comes from I'll be. candid with you and I know this about. you I'm G to outwork you here's the. truth I'm going to outwork you the one. thing I learned from my dad is that. listen a lot of my confidence comes from. the fact that I deserve to win and I. deserve to win because I'm working my. tail off and and I don't think enough. people give themselves the gift of just.

super hard work I mean I know your. schedule you know mine we were talking. about that but the truth I I've just. this is just something I'm saying if I. don't validate with an action it's like. you said with with your books like I. love you no that's a verb there's an. action that's taken to validate that I. love you there's things I can do to give. evidence of the fact that I love you and. so no you can't just sit around and. think about these things you've got to. get to work you've got to implement them. and then by the way when you do that all. listen the reason I can speak with. Clarity on this stuff is I've done them. I've been in situations where this stuff.

has been tested and tried and true so. I'm a huge huge advocate of work of. taking the steps necessary to do it and. I know that that's something with you. like when I met you I had a notion about. you that wasn't accurate which was that. you were more of just this listen we're. just going to get quiet and meditate and. empty our minds here and everything we. want's going to come our way then I met. you and I said this to you off camera. there's a fire and an intensity and a. work ethic to Jay that I think would. surprise most people you're this very.

unique combination of this very tranquil. peaceful loving kind being who's also. wound tight and wants to win and is. intense and is going to make things. happen and wants to max out his life and. isn't just sitting around waiting for it. to come his way he's going to get a lot. of it and that's one of the things I. admire about you absolutely walk me. through how you've translated that Grace. that love that kindness into a plan for. like 2020 24 like how do you translate. that like what does your day look like.

what does a quarter look like you've. built businesses that are successful I. want to know that part because I love. that that connection that I'm trying to. make here between this sincere heart but. this strategic mind it is my perception. of time and so I have um I believe you. can bend and manipulate time and and so. here's what that looks like I don't buy. into a 24-hour day that's an archaic. time frame see you and I live in an age. where think about it 100 years ago if I.

wanted to get something done I'd have to. write it down somewhere stick a stamp on. it or put it on the back of a horse a. few hundred years ago and you'd get it. in a month and then you'd translate and. get it back to me in a month now I can. text you in 3 seconds but we're both. going to manage time in 24 hours when I. was in school I had to go to a library. to research something in in a thing. called an. encyclopedia right and then write it all. down type it on a typewriter if you make. one key mistake you got to redo it now I. can Google it print it out and it's done.

yet the same time frames are managed and. so that's insane right I can email I can. text I've got all these things on my. phone so we're still operating the same. time construct as people did 50 years. ago 100 years ago 200 years ago that is. insane so I have a huge advantage in my. life that my days are manyi days and so. I have 3 eight hour days in a day I get. 21 days in a week 21 days in a week and. so my first day is 6: a.m. to noon and. in that day we've all had that day where.

we go man I've got more by 8:00 a.m. done than I've done in a week that. should be every day if you want it to be. it's your expectation of time here's the. thing when something is scarce it's more. valuable okay so that's why a diamond is. worth more than a piece of paper because. it's more scarce when your time becomes. more scarce it becomes more valuable and. other people treat you with more value. so that's one benefit but my first day. is 6 a.m. to noon and in there I'm. trying to get in there the amount of. prod activity Joy business fitness. whatever it might be that I would get in.

a 24-hour day compressed and manipulated. that time into to the 8h hour window why. because of all the technology at my. advantage now there may be some days. that's a Netflix and chill day for me. I'm not saying you have to be. hyperproductive that's okay that maybe. on Sundays a lot of people have that. I'll have a day like that but it's not. every day and so the second day starts. at noon and it runs all the way usually. I sometimes I even shrink them to 6. hours sometimes sometime I'll go 6:00. a.m. to noon so that's a 6 hour window I. give myself a 2hour buffer the second. day starts from noon to 6:00 p.m. and in.

that second day I'm trying to get the. same amount of stuff I would get in in a. 24-hour day in my 6 to 8 Hour window. this year there's 6 hour days there's. 6:00 a.m. to noon noon to 6:00 p.m. and. 6:00 p.m. to midnight now I'm going to. sleep in there I'm going to get rest I'm. going to have laughter I'm going to have. faith I'm going to have cooling at time. but now what happens is at about noon. every day this thing goes off in my head. and I evaluate what did I get done what. do I need to double my efforts on what. can I celebrate what did I learn so when. an average person does it at the end of.

their day I'm doing it at noon and it. now automatically goes off it's weird my. my mind knows when noon is and it knows. when 6 p.m. is and the same thing. happens at 6 p.m. and then I'll run it. again and so I'm getting 21 days a week. you stack that time frame up over a year. when you get seven days and I'm managing. time this way compressed and bent time. I'm probably going to win you stack that. up over a year five years 10 years and. all of a sudden I've had all these more. days and here's the other thing I just.

get a longer life I'm getting multiple. lives in one life simply because I've. taken control of what time looks like so. they used to be 8 hour days you asked. about 2024 they're now 6-h hour days and. so I've get more done often times by 10. a.m. then most people will get done in a. 24-hour day and here's what that here's. what that looks like really quickly too. many people schedule one hour long. meetings if we're going to be tactical. most meetings don't need to be an hour. but we schedule them an hour because. everybody's always done that so my team. knows is this a 20 8 minute meeting is. this a 5 minute meeting very rarely are.

they hourong meetings cuz when you have. an hourong meeting now you're pacing. yourself to fill the hour in but I've. only got a 6-h hour day here so there's. a lot of 28 minute long meetings that. other people are taking an hour to do. we're just that much more productive. that much more efficient in our time and. so that's how you actually get the day. done is because this one hour concept. isn't it you say I'll meet you at 9:00 I. got 9 to 10 blocked off well why most. meetings don't need to be an hour long. most business meetings don't most. conversations don't and that by the way. will give me more time maybe my lunch is.

now an hour and a half with a friend. because I bent to manipulated time in my. I called them mini days that's so I'm so. happy you shared that because I just. just even that concept of us. understanding how we're using time in an. archaic way and thinking about how many. hours in a day in an archaic way it's. bananas to me Concept in in itself is. mindblowing you can create your own. version of a mini day maybe you're going. to have two maybe you're going to break. your day into two you know me it was. eight hours and I've moved it to six and. I felt no difference but I love that.

time clock there's not enough time most. people evaluate their goals like really. productive people they'll do it at the. end of a day in the middle maybe the end. of a month how did my January go and you. know this most people it's the end of. the year so most people's a year some. will do it a month really productive. people maybe the end of the day I'm. doing that three times in a 24-hour day. now the breakthroughs the learning the. course correction the Strategic moves I. make that get me back on track when I'm. off track and my bad days are only 6. hours long right so I that gives me.

permission to shift at noon okay this is. a new day I get I get a doover I get to. start again so it's just a matter of. using a Time construct that fits with. technology in these times yeah it's. almost like saying yeah we're driving. cars now but it would take me a months. to get to yeah it doesn't make any sense. make any sense 24 wow what's been the. Habit because you also said you shifted. from eight hour days to 6 hour days why. first of all why did you do that what. what was the benefit of that the shift. for me was that it was the one hours I'm. like why am I taking these 1 hour long. meetings if I move them to 28 minutes.

and and by the way it's awesome and and. even you and I even when we communicate. it's often times it's like you and I. have these beautiful quick conversations. but they by the way there are sometimes. with my friends I need to go deep and we. need three or four or five hours but I. also I know there's a lot of times in. life like ever have that friend that. doesn't know when the text exchange is. done you know that person you're like. all right man we've got okay it's over. now like we're both going to go now text. other people or do other things I've. just gotten a little bit better at. buttoning things. phology andology I was in a meeting a.

with Alex Rodriguez I'll never foret. this it was a really great meeting and I. know you you know them as well and so I. was meeting with Alex and uh I'll never. forget he's such he's a gracious dude. he's a good dude but our meeting was. supposed to end at 1:00 in the afternoon. and I remember we were in the middle of. something and I was at his house and we. were in actually we were actually was. back in the day it was actually at JLo's. house but Alex was there anyway and I. remember at about 1258 he looked at his. watch that gave me a queue and at 1:00.

he just stood up kind of in the middle. of the meeting and that signified the. meeting was over and it wasn't rude his. team just knows when the meeting time's. up we're done we're done and what that. did is that set a context and a tone. that when we have a meeting that's this. long that's how long it is and setting. up those kind of disciplines and kind of. barriers around your life guard rails. around your life protects your time and. it's uncomfortable to do that because we. feel as people Pleasers which a lot of. us are we're scared to do that because.

we're thinking oh God if I stand up is. everyone going to think like I'm like. stuck up like you know there's going to. be that sense how do you deal with that. discomfort and that awkwardness of I'm. setting a boundary to protect myself but. I'm scared how people are going to. perceive me it's just being gracious. when you do it and it's also eventually. what I've found is like I said earlier. people now respect my time a little bit. more I become more listen Len there's a. pace and a rhythm to success here's. here's something no one talks about when.

it comes to success and being productive. and you know this there's a rhythm and a. Cadence to it it's an invisible thing. that the people that are winning somehow. have found themselves you know this with. the actors you've worked with or. entertainers it's hard to express but. they found a rhythm and a Cadence to. their life that creates momentum in. their life momentum is a major magnifier. in life when you get momentum but. there's a rhythm to it and when you sort. of aren't disciplined with your time and. a meeting runs over 10 minutes or 20. minutes you are not in the rhythm of.

success there's a pace it's not hurried. it's not hurried or rushed but it's a. little quicker than most people know. successful people walk a little faster. they're in a little bit more of a hurry. they talk a little faster there's a. rhythm and a pace and a intensity a. passion to the dialogue and the. conversation you know exactly what I. mean and it's invisible maybe you can. express it well right now too have. you've seen it and until you find that. you're not really in the rhythm of hyper.

productivity or Bliss or success and. when you're around people that possess. that Rhythm you feel it and it isn't. demeaning when they do it it there's a. graciousness to it and a respect you. have that they respect themselves and. you enough in that moment to be. organized enough and disciplined enough. not to let it bleed into a place that it. doesn't need to go you know what I mean. right yeah it's actually looping back. it's I'm so glad rais that because it's. such a subtle point and to me it comes.

back down to something I raised earlier. of this energy and time balance because. the question I ask myself is the time. that I set the meeting is based on when. I think my energy will be best and the. amount of time I give a meeting is the. amount of time I can give intense 100%. energy so I'm not for example when I'm. recording a podcast we do two podcasts a. day maximum the reason for that is I. know if I did a third one I have the. time to do a third one but my energy is. not there my presence is not there I'm.

not at a 100% intensity which means the. quality drops so it's also not just. doing more as you're saying it's not. just doing more because I can squeeze. more in a day I just know the third. podcast is going to be the worst one. that I record and so we don't do it by. the way you should have told me that. about two years ago no seriously that. you're 100% right and I make that. mistake sometimes of doing four in a day. and it's not fair to the third and. fourth person it's not I can't do it you. might be able to do it we all have. different no you're right and the other. thing I do in my schedule since we're. being tactical is I like to load up my.

Mondays and Tuesdays with heavy things. early in my week and I like the the. later part of my week to be a little bit. more peaceful and joyous so that I'm. sort of building toward it's almost like. my Super Bowl almost my Mondays and. Tuesdays those are going to be heavy. days the other thing I do is my most. important meetings I kind of know me I'm. not particularly a great early morning. person nor am I great late at night I'm. really in a good space about when we're. recording this right now that's a noon. to 300 p.m. window for me I don't know. if I'm the most hydrated I've already.

worked out so my really important. meetings I try to schedule in my highest. energy State when I know I'm peing in my. given day so you're 100% right about. that yeah and I think these are the. mechanics of how you connect energy and. the real world because you can't just. say I worked out this morning I feel. good everything's going to go all right. now and I think we have that kind of we. have this checklist mentality of if I've. done these three things then everything. else will go okay. but actually all the other stuff needs. to be managed and intentionally designed.

I think I've been talking a lot about. this recently with people that I think. often we think if people are casual or. relaxed or laidback then things will. work out better but actually you find as. you're saying most success productivity. and joyfulness is intentionally designed. in order to create an. experience and I wanted to get your. thoughts on that like you're a billion. percent right J the higher you climb. there's all this other stimulus. happening in your life right so if you.

don't create those constructs now when. you get to a point where like you get. the things you want in your life the. demands on your energy and time only. increase and your ability to manage that. and create structures around you that. keep you productive that is a huge thing. you've just shared I've watched a lot of. people climb to a point and when they. get to that point they didn't create new. structures around them to support the. next level every you climb requires a. different type of energy and structure.

and so some things even that I'm doing. right now I know maybe four or five. years from now I'm going to have to. re-evaluate those that'll change with. the conditions of my life for me right. now as busy as I am it requires more. intent to structure than ever in my life. and if I didn't create them when things. weren't quite this busy I don't think I. would have continued to flow into the. next state and I've watched a lot of. people get to a place and then they. can't navigate that next level because. of the structure maybe the lack of a. team around them quality people.

management of those things and so I'm. always trying to be ahead structurally. to my results yeah what most people. think is I'm going to produce this thing. and then when I get there I'll figure it. out from there that stagnates your. growth you've got to be preparing and. expecting that growth and creating the. structures around you to facilitate it. so it continues to flow so good so good. and I think we get sentimental that we. get sentimental like so good I can't let. go of this habit or this structure or.

this thing because it got me here and I. feel like you have to get really. non-sentimental like right like what. you're saying about is preparing Well. mine's my morning routine I used to have. a very long morning routine cold plunge. meditate pray gratitude ritual stretch. you know and the thing got so long that. I'm like my gosh I'm two hours into a. routine here I got to get the work I got. to get some stuff done and so you kind. of and what it was is I started to. accumulate these sentimental things that.

man that day I cold plunged I haded a. big speech that day so I better keep. cold plunging every day and I better. keep I started stacking up this closet. full and I had to come in it's like an. old closet full of clothes I had to go. which of these don't I wear anymore yes. and I'm going to take this one and give. it away like and so you're right it's. it's the sentimental holding on to. things that got you where you are won't. get you where you're going and so I have. to constantly kind of audit my closet so. to speak and so my morning routine now. is nowhere nearly as sophisticated as it.

used to be it's much more brief but it. serves me now it serves who I am now it. serves my ambitions and goals now and so. you're a th% right about that yeah a lot. of people I speak to as well they. struggle with and I've struggled with. this in the past where you know what you. need to do you know how much time you. have but then you procrastinate you. overthink and I'm sure you get asked. this question all the time like. but I still see it again and again and. again in the same people where they tell.

me J I'm going to have this done I'm I'm. accountable I'm going to commit but then. somehow it still doesn't happen for them. Y what have you found is really useful. insight for someone who finds thems. constantly getting stuck they know what. they need to do they know how much time. they have but they keep procrastinating. and overthinking one you're you're. trying to get your life back to your. identity you and I talked about this. analogy before so I'll be quick with it. but your identity your personal belief. in yourself your identity is like the. thoughts beliefs and Concepts you hold. to be most true about you it's a.

thermostat setting on your life we. talked about this before give you two. things so like this studio we're in I. don't know 72 degrees in here right now. something like that the external. conditions it's a cold rainy day here in. La the external condition 50° outside. that does not affect the internal. thermostat in this room it is 72 degrees. if it was 90° outside the air. conditioners will come on and cool this. room back to 72° you procrastinate. because your results are about to exceed. your identity and you're turning the air. conditioner on so if right now you're. getting 72 degrees of you believe in.

yourself at 72 degrees of wealth or. abundance or productivity and you've. started to heat it up to 85 90 100° you. subconsciously turn the air conditioner. on of your life to cool it back down to. what you really believe you're worthy of. and you deserve so the Deep work is you. got to raise that identity of what you. believe you're worth to 85 990 100° how. do you do that typically proximity to. people who live at that thermostat. setting they will heat you up to theirs. so that's a huge one that is a Hu I just.

want to make that you made that sound so. simple and you made it really easy that. is the huge one that is it it is at that. gut level I watch that's why you'll see. somebody who for example um their love. thermostat is 72 degrees and you you go. on you double date you they're with. their dream person you're like oh my. gosh they're in love it's Blissful. they're at 90 100 degrees of love in. their life and a year later you run into. him and you're like so how is Steve or. how's Janice oh it didn't work out what. happened was they turned the air. conditioner on and cooled it back to. what they believe they deserve often.

times or wealth we've all had these. friends that they're 72 degrees of. wealth and all of a sudden man their. business is kicking 85 90 100 and what. happens is it seems coincidental oh. supply chain oh this or that um a. customer broke off a car broke down I. had to loan money to a friend no those. were circumstances what really happened. was you turned the air conditioners on. and you cooled your life back. financially to believe what you believe. you're worth same in your body someone. 72 degrees of fitness they're getting in. shape they've lost the 10 lbs they look. great and you see them in a year and.

they've come all the way back and gained. it back and you're like what happened. they turned the air conditioner on of. their life and got back to what they. believe they're worth you got to change. that thermostat setting and it's. typically like in my faith life if I was. a 72 degrees in my faith I started to. surround myself with some men in my. faith life who man they live in their. faith at 95 and 100 they heated me up by. proximity now my thermostat setting is. different so that's a biggie m the. second one with with procrastination is. you've developed a false belief system.

in yourself of what you need to know to. take action and so successful people are. willing to step into the unknown and the. unprepared more than people who are. unsuccessful I'm not saying I don't like. to research like P You're super prepared. for today so am I but there are just. situations in my life of what I think I. need to know is much lower than most. people to step into the space and. perform so procrastination is really. saying I got to know a little more I got. PR a little bit more I got to get a. little bit more ready a little bit more. ready a little bit more ready and you. keep raising the Readiness quota to a.

point where you never take action and so. you got to get to this point where. you're like I'm going to get into the. room I'm going to start to write that. paper I'm going to start the book I'm. going to get into that and I'll figure. it out when I get there and most people. that are successful have this internal. belief system that I don't need to know. everything to take action I just need to. know enough to get in the room and I'll. figure it out from there and you've. known this with all the successful. people you've coached that is something. they possess in droves is the ability to. get into a space and step into a room.

and figure it out from there and not. have to know everything and that's how. most of them discovered their passion. they even discovered it because they. were just pushed into it I remember the. first presentation I ever gave uh the. speaker had cancelled really and my. friend said to me well there's no. speaker you've got to give the tour and. I was just like what do you mean I've. got to give the talk like the speaker. was really like well known and like in. the community and all the rest of it and. they're like no no no but we haven't got. a backup and we can't invite someone. last minute cuz it would look bad on. them but because you're a nobody.

basically you can give the talk wow and. I was just like so I I started preparing. and I had three days so I started. preparing I started doing it I went up. there and I just did it and I loved it. and I was like oh this is my this is. this feels right for me and I would. never have discussed that if I didn't. get pushed into it very it would never. have happened that's a beautiful story. never have happened and so I think so. many times that so right and I love that. you addressed the first part about. belief of what we deserve I just want.

that to sit with people because Ed the. way you like just put that out there. like I'm like that is exactly it that. there is some part of us that just. doesn't believe we deserve the level of. success we're striving for right and. those those those subtle subconscious. air conditioners of Our Lives that cool. down show up as coincidences you know. but really they're not they're by Design. because you're going to pull your life. back to what you believe you deserve. every day when I work with athletes. they're like what do you do with the pro.

athletes you work with I'm mainly you. know this even what do most people want. like when someone's really successful. what are you working on I go usually. their Identity or their confidence it's. usually those two things and their. identity is the more important thing now. the other thing that happens for a lot. of people with their identity is they'll. attach their identity to the external to. their beauty to their performance to. their career and then when they lose. that career or they lose that NFL. football career they've got then they. don't know who they are without it so. this identity should be deeply rooted in. who you are not just what you do that's.

a long let's talk about that cuz I've. been I've been playing around with that. a lot myself lately and in in trying to. articulate that because I think the. world has convinced us that what we do. is our value so even people's. introductions to themselves is oh yeah. I'm an accountant I'm a lawyer I'm an. author I'm a coach I'm a podcaster. whatever it is we're describing I am. followed by a doing word not a being. word and so even our value in society.

also and so went to that college or so. and so has that job like we see value. and even in the past the way you had. value was someone was a blacksmith and. someone was a baker and that was their. value and then even before that we used. to barter because of what we did and. then we could trade that so so much of. identity for hundreds of years has been. tied up in what we do by the way it's a. you're so brilliant bro I love our. conversations it's a very dangerous way. to live your life when your identity is.

tied up in what you do is a rather than. who you are as you say being you're in a. very dangerous place because if it's. tied to those things and they then they. don't exist you're completely lost. without them and it is a very shallow. and I don't mean like shallow in the. sense that like you know shallow like a. CR I mean it's not a very there's not a. lot of depth to that identity that is. longlasting when it's attached to what. we do or what we look like or what we've. achieved you know you'll say that you're. right I just I just met someone the. other day who I knew immediately they.

lacked a strong identity because they. can they immediately just resumed. me I did this I did that I achieved this. I was written here I was that and I went. I actually stopped them and uh cuz I. really liked them and I won't say who. she was but I said you know I really. like. you I like you what impresses me is you. who you are your kindness she's. brilliant by the way this woman too. you're so brilliant you're so kind. that's your identity your identity isn't.

your MBA your identity isn't your career. that's not your identity but they've. linked it to that and it is a dangerous. way to live your life and it's not a. deep way to live your life a deep way to. live your life where you can make impact. in multiple areas is to root your. identity in who you are those intentions. the things that you believe to be true. your character the way you conduct. yourself your value in life your value. your valuable that's where identity is.

deeply rooted not in the external it's. okay to be proud of your degree or your. achievement or your career or your. company that's different being proud of. something and and having a sense of you. know gratitude for what you've achieved. that's great but when you link your. identity to it you're in a dangerous and. shallow Place absolutely uh last. question Ed we've talked about peace MH. we've talked about productivity how does. it not not lead to burnout when you're. trying to do all this right you're. working on the internal self you're.

working on the productivity it's like. gosh Jay I'm I'm exhausted trying to do. all this and exhausted trying to manage. like I I want to be successful but I. want to be spiritual I'm trying to do I. want to be everything and do everything. like how do you how have you managed and. what have been your Reflections on. burnout exhaustion and then of course. ruining relationships in the process. well I've done all those so I have. experience in Burnout and ruining. relationships and messing things up and. and here's what I've learned I want all. the things I want but I don't have to.

have them right now and it's the right. now of life I got to be in a hurry I got. to do it I got to do it I got to do it. now now now now there's a power of now. some people lack the ability to operate. in the now but for me it's I have built. into my life rest last night I slept 12. hours wow and the reason was is I've. been getting to the point right now. where I'm tinkering on the edge of too. much now too much now too much now and. so I reflect back on my faith I reflect. back on I love I mean there's basic.

things I know you do but I'm a big. person on earthing and grounding I love. to get outdoors I love to put my bare. feet in the ground and let that recharge. me I'm real big on my recharge stuff now. and sometimes that means lots of sleep. believe it or not I used to brag that I. got five or six hours of sleep and I. could operate on that and I've learned. over time maybe there's a season for. that that's great but there's also a. season where I listen to my body you're. the best at this but I've gotten better. at listening to my spirit and my body.

and when my spirit is screaming at me. you need to rest you need to recharge I. listen to my body especially at 52 years. old my body will speak to me even more. now than sometimes it ever has in my. life and I listen to it and I've given. myself the gift I'm not afraid anymore. you and I have talked about this. privately I'm not afraid anymore that. I'm going to lose momentum I can say no. to something I can rest I can recharge I. can reflect and it doesn't mean I'm. going to lose momentum I used to believe. if I don't keep going I'm going to lose. the momentum I've got and the truth is.

that's an insecurity in me that's my. lack of identity screaming at me and. there's really three things whether you. believe in whatever your spiritual. beliefs are but if I if I was the. adversary or the devil what would I do. to try to get you off track what would I. do there's really three things the first. thing I would do is I get you to doubt. three DS I'll get you to doubt can I get. Jay shett doubting himself doubting that. it matters doubting his ability doubting. he can go to the next level I'm going to. get him to doubt well that's been. happening yeah yeah if I me too me too I.

can see it on your face right now me too. doubting me the second thing is I'll get. them discouraged I'll have a real critic. I'll have some hits have them have a. miss or two swinging a miss right if I. can get him discouraged then I got him. and the third thing if I can't do that. or I'll do both I'll get him a bit. delusional delusion is believing. something's worse than it is or better. than it is and you thought stack and you. start to stack it what about this what. about this what about this what about. this and I get you magnifying something.

to believe that it's a far bigger. problem than it is far more dramatic. than it is or far better than it is dude. you just explained my last 12 months oh. my god wow and so those are the 3DS and. so it's it's doubt discouragement and. delusion wow and what I try to do is. when I see them showing up and they do I. go I know exactly what this is this is. this is the negative coming to get me. this is this is trying to get me off. course in my dreams and my vision and my.

contribution and I am not going to let. other people be cheated because I doubt. and I'm discouraged and I'm delusional. and so I really focus when those things. come up and I identify them when they're. there and I root them out because I know. where they're coming from and they're. not coming from good they're not coming. from God they're not coming from high. vibrational frequency they're coming. from the worst of the worst and so I. absolutely rid them out when they show. up and that is a huge gift to me you. have no idea you have no idea okay.

brother well good genuinely you have no. idea that we you're a gift to me every. time that no that's a real gift Ed my. let everyone uh follow Ed on Instagram. if you don't already go and listen to. his podcast max out and books I mean no. no no new books right now just a power. one. more was the book we discussed last time. power one more H to help anybody any way. I can man Ed you're the best uh thank. you so much for coming back love these. conversation honestly they're so healing. and therapeutic to me I feel like I'm. that 72 spending time with the 95 it's. like it really does heat me up honestly.

genuinely like these these are such. life-giving conversations for me so I'm. so glad we recorded it I'm so glad we. got to share it and grateful man. genuinely grateful so am I brother. you're blessing in my life you're. blessing yeah thank you if you love this. episode you will enjoy my interview with. Dr Daniel aan on how to change your life. by changing your brain if we want a. healthy mind it actually starts with a. healthy brain you know I've had the. blessing or the curse to scan over a.

thousand convicted felons and over a. hundred murderers and their brains are. very damaged.