DHAR MANN: This is How You Turn Your Setbacks into Your GREATEST Advantage

Failure is not the opposite of success. That is actually a part of success. >> You didn't go to business school. You. didn't have a business you inheriting, and you didn't have someone say, "Dhar, here's a million dollars. Go and start a. business." Where did you learn business. skills? >> There's a five-step process that if you. follow, I promise you, you will be. successful. >> Hey everyone, welcome back to On. Purpose, the place you come to become.

happier, healthier, and most healed. Today's guest is one of my dearest. friends, someone I've known for quite a. few years now, and I can't believe this. is his first time on the podcast. Dhar. Mann is one of the most watched digital. storytellers in the world, reaching. billions with videos that turn simple. stories into powerful life lessons. Dhar. has achieved so much success in his. career. He's been named as one of the. biggest creators by Forbes. Please. welcome to the show my dear friend and.

insane creator, Dhar Mann. Dhar, it is. great to have you here. >> It's such an honor, Jay. I really. appreciate it. It's been a long time. coming, and I'm so glad that it's. happening now because we've gotten what, 7-8 years of building this amazing. friendship together. >> One of the things I knew when I started. my career was that I never wanted to be. lonely on the journey. And I feel like. there are certain people, and we have a. lot of mutual friends that we've all. connected with, that we're all in the. industry, we all want to see each other.

win, we all want to support each other, we want to give each other advice and. guidance, and give each other insights. where and when we can. And I'm really. grateful to you for as a friend as well. is that watching your success, which we. will dive into today, watching your. story unfold and the incredible. businesses you've built, we'll get into. today. Dhar, I want to start off with a. question because I know a little bit. about you. You've told me your story, and I know I want to dive into it for. the audience. Tell me about a childhood memory that. you have. that defines who you are today.

>> You know what's interesting is that as I. think back upon my childhood, I actually. can't remember a lot of it. As I look back now as an adult, I. realize that's because I created this. emotional detachment because of all the. struggles and pain that I went through. as a kid. It was a tough childhood. I. grew up around, you know, constant. yelling and arguing and violence that I. tried to block a lot of it out. And it's. hard because as a child, so much of your.

perspective in life is shaped by your. parents. Right? As a child, you think. that whatever your parents tell you is. the truth. Is, you know, how you're supposed to see the. world. And then it's not until you get older. that can you actually start to realize. that my parents are also flawed human. beings. That they don't always know. what's right and what's wrong. You know, my parents had just come from India to.

America and they came with $6 in their. pocket. My dad, you know, didn't even. get finished like the equivalent of a. high school education. So, he was just. trying to figure everything out in life. in America in this world where they. didn't even speak English. And they made. a lot of mistakes in the process. And. that's the toughest thing as a child. when especially when you grow up. thinking that your parents are your hero. to have to now all of a sudden start to. see, you know, all of the mistakes that. they made and took a long time for me to.

have to try to unlearn some of the. things that I was taught. And also to. try to heal from them. But at the same. time, I'm so grateful for the tough. childhood that I had because now I have. the opportunity as a father to show up. for my daughters in a way to be the. parent that I never had as a child. And that means so much to me because my.

goal as a parent is not to try to be. perfect. There's no such thing as a. perfect parent. But my goal is to give. them so much love and support that my. daughters don't have to spend their. adult life trying to overcome the. traumas that they received as children. But, you know, I'm just at a place in my. life where I believe that everything. that happens is for a reason and I try. to see the positive from it. >> It's super powerful to hear that, to. think about how you're parenting. differently because of how you were.

parented. And I know that when you say that we. actually share a lot and we've had. dinners where we've talked about this. that we share a lot of history and how. we were raised and what we came up. through and of course both of us are. Indian, although you grew up in the. States and I grew up in London. I've. always joked that I had three options. growing up, which was to be a doctor, a. lawyer, or a failure. What did you think you were going to be. or what did you expect from yourself. when you were growing up as a young man? >> When I was growing up, I just wanted to.

be accepted. I just wanted to fit in. I. just wanted to find a community. So, when I was 8 years old, I actually. had a turban. And as you can imagine as. being like the only Indian at my. elementary school wearing a turban, I. was often made fun of. I was bullied. It. wasn't in like today's environment where. there's a lot more awareness. I'm not. saying that doesn't happen today, but it. was a really hard time. And so, I grew. up just feeling like I never fit in to.

the American community. But at the same. time, if you're Indian and you follow. the Sikh faith, um or you know, any sort. of religion, you know that there's. different aspects or there's different. levels of people that follow the faith. And so, the time that I would be in an. American school, I had never felt like I. quite fit in. But, also the opposite. happened. When I would go to our temple. on Sundays, uh because I may not be as. religious or I didn't wear certain. amount of garments or because I didn't.

pray as many times in a day, I also felt. like I wasn't good enough for that. community. So, for a long time in my. life, I just felt like I was too Indian. for the Americans and I was too American. for the Indians. So, I fell in some. place in the middle. I remember spending. a lot of high school just trying to find. people that I could have lunch with. Every day, that was my biggest anxiety. is I didn't want to have lunch alone. And my school was very racially. segregated. So, you know, everyone from.

each culture kind of ate at their own. table. And I just found myself as this. outcast. And so, there were a lot of. days that I would eat lunch inside of. the bathroom because I didn't want. anyone to know that I had no one to sit. with. And as I got to my junior and. senior years, I actually would start. having lunch with my teachers because I. connected with them more. I for a long. time chased that feeling of belonging. and feeling of community.

that I never quite got. And again, just. kind of looking back as to how I look. back in my life and realize that. everything happens for a reason. Now, today, because I was seeking to build. that community and didn't have one, I. was able to build one of the largest. communities in the world of other people. that also felt like they didn't really. belong at some time in their life. >> Yeah, it's it's incredible how the. stories you tell now. are so wired by the messaging of what. you experienced, even if it may not be.

just the South Asian American story, you're appealing to so many young people. around the world who are feeling. othered, who are feeling like they don't. belong, who are feeling like they're. bullied, who are feeling like they don't. connect, they don't know where they fit. in. And it really is this incredible. pain to purpose story, which sounds. cliche, but when you actually hear your. story back, you're like, "Oh, wow, no, that's true." Like, you're literally. telling stories that are helping people.

who are going through what you were. going through all those years ago. When. was the first time you actually felt in. your whole life that you did belong? I. wonder if you even feel that now. >> Very recently, I have started to feel. like I belong. You know, there's. different aspects of belonging, right? First is sort of on the professional. side of things. As a creator, as an. entrepreneur, and being successful. And. I'm very grateful to have received a. certain level of validation that has. come from my consistency in doing things. that have made me feel like, "Okay, I.

belong." As much as I could try to. convince myself of that before, I would. never have been able to until I reached. a certain level of success objectively. And I think that's important for anyone. that's like struggling with. self-confidence. What I would say is the repetition and. the consistency, and eventually the. success follows. That's when you start. to build that self-confidence, and that. continues to propel as you go further. into what you do. Right? Like, today you.

have interviewed the biggest guest. So, whoever I don't even know which is the. biggest celebrity that you've not. interviewed. Maybe Beyoncé, The Rock. I. don't know if you've interviewed these. guests yet. I'm sure they're coming. You. would not be nervous about that because. you've already put in all these. repetitions, right? And have interviewed. all these other guests and built that. self-confidence in yourself. And so, I. would say, professionally, I have felt. more recently like I belonged because of.

the practice and the effort. And that. all comes from all the failures of like. trying to figure it out. But I would say. the other part of belonging and the more. important one that I realize now as I. get into my 40s and my perspective has. changed, especially as a father, is just. realizing that you actually don't have. to belong. You [snorts] know, we're. actually born to stand out. And the. people that really support you and love. you, they're going to be there no matter.

what. And so, what I always remember is. if I have nobody else in this world, I. have my daughters. And as long as I have. a tight relationship with them and I'm. showing up to be the father that I want. to be, I'll always feel like I belong. >> Yeah, that's a great answer. What was. the first business you ever started? >> Oh my god. >> And not even like a not even it may not. even been official business. I mean like. what was your first hustle? Cuz I think. about it like I used to buy jackets of.

these streetwear brands from outside of. England and then sell them to people in. England. And so I'd order like Avirex. jackets and Schott jackets. These were. brands that I remember people in my area. loved having. And I'd always find them. early and then sell them. And I was. doing this when I was like 15 years old. at school. >> Yeah. And that was like my first kind of. entrepreneurial venture. I was obviously. I was delivering paper papers before. that. What was your first job? What was. your first business? >> Well, you had a lot more foresight than. I. >> [laughter]. >> did. Mine wasn't as calculated. I probably.

started my first business venture, quote. unquote, when I was in fifth grade, 10. years old, and I would just set up. little stands where I would sell. baseball cards. So, you know, I'd make like a couple. bucks. I've done everything from like. selling lemonade to selling I don't know. if you remember when the CD burners came. out and it was really popular to be able. to now have custom soundtracks on CDs. So, I was the guy because a lot of. people couldn't afford CD burners. So, I.

was the guy that for 10 bucks you could. say like what's your favorite songs. were, I'd put them on a CD and I'd even. learn how to like print custom artwork. and I'd put it like on the sleeve so you. could have this like really cool jewel. case. And then as I got older, you know, in college I would say like my first. real business was I was trying to find. um a place to live and at that time this. is pre-Craigslist, this is pre, you. know, all the tools that exist today. online. And so the only way to find. places to live was like you'd have to go. to the local bulletin boards. And it was.

really hard because bulletin boards were. messy, your flyers would get taken down, uh like a lot of times uh they just. weren't maintained properly. Um so at a. certain point I found a two-bedroom. apartment and I needed a roommate. I. didn't know anyone that wanted a that. was looking for an apartment, so I. decided that I was going to put flyers. all around these bulletin boards. I woke. up super early, there was probably like. 30-40 bulletin boards all around campus. I posted these flyers and then I went.

home, showered, came back like later in. the day as a student and I realized half. my flyers were like torn down, >> [laughter]. >> half of them were just like they fell. off the bulletin board. I was like, man, this is a real struggle trying to be. able to reach people. So I started this. business called Davis Marketing Services. where basically I would help businesses. that were trying to reach students post. flyers on bulletin boards and that. continued to evolve. I set up like a. sales team that was commission only. I. worked with a local sorority that would.

do my distribution, that would go and. like post all the flyers. I hired a. graphic designer that would create. really cool art and I started getting. clients like apartment buildings that. would say, "Hey, help us fill our. housing.". Um and I started making. You. team by the time I was like 19 years old. or so, which was cool. And then after. that I got into real estate and I I. what now is sort of known as like a. boiler room or like a call center.

and I probably at the peak of it had. like 40 students working for me where. they would just call people and ask if. they were interested in refinancing. their home or. selling their home. I became a real. estate broker pretty early on and so. that was like at the peak right before. the 2008 real estate crash. I got the. front page of like our student newspaper. highlighting like the business that I. built. We got to three offices and yeah, it was pretty cool. I even bought like a. Lamborghini when I was 21 years old. I.

bought two houses as investment. properties. The hard part about that is. life is going to give you certain levels. of validation even if you're on the. wrong path, right? Even if I'm doing. things for the wrong intentions, success. could still blind you because you're. receiving a certain level of validation. Maybe you're receiving a certain amount. of money or people that are around you. whether they're good influences or not. are saying, "Hey, great job." And. they're all sort of benefiting from like. what is happening anyway. But.

ultimately, if you do things for the. wrong reasons, it's never going to work. out and I had to learn that the hard way. multiple times in my life. So, I spent a. lot of my life in my late teens, early. 20s just misdirected trying to chase. money over meaning and that led me to a. lot of bad short-term decisions that. ultimately I had to come later in life. to realize weren't the right way of. doing things. And that's why I'm such a. believer in second chances, in.

self-growth. That's why I started my. whole studio to say that you can make. mistakes, you can get everything wrong. in life, hit rock bottom. and completely change your life and. become someone entirely new. That's what. I did with my life and that's what I try. to inspire others in knowing that they. can also do the same. >> You didn't go to business school, you. didn't have a business you're inheriting. from your family,

and you didn't have someone say, "Doh, here's a million dollars, go and start a. business.". Where did you learn business skills? >> I was always just really motivated with. a lot of big dreams, and I was never. scared to try and fail. Because what I. realized is I was working retail like in. my late teen years, like my very first. job was at Gap, and then I worked at. Macy's for a little bit. And when I was. thinking about starting my own business, I just realized, like, hey, okay, what. if it doesn't work out? What if you. fail?

Okay, then that means you just go on and. get a job just like everybody else. Trial by failure, right? How did you. become a great public speaker? It kind. of goes back to our conversation that. you had to probably mess up a lot of. times on stage to be able to have the. confidence that you have, right? How. does anyone become a great athlete? You. miss a lot of shots before you actually. score. The hard part about business is, let's say in baseball, you hit one out. of three balls and get on base, you're.

an all-star player. But in business, right, it feels like so much pressure if. you lose or your business fails or your. idea doesn't work out because we're. worried about everybody's judgment on. us. We're worried about failing in. public. But the thing is, is even if you. fail nine times in a row and you succeed. that 10th time, the thing that people. are going to remember you for is that. 10th time that you actually succeeded.

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head to drinkjuni.com/kroger. to claim your free can in store so you. can feel better and live better. What. would [snorts] you say to someone who. says, "I'm scared I'm going to put out a video. that's cringe. I'm scared that I'm not. going to have any customers for my. business. I'm scared that no one's going. to buy my product. I'm scared I'm going. to fail." You know, when I think back. about putting out my first video, I had. those same thoughts of self-doubt. And.

keep in mind, I started putting out. content in my 30s. A lot of times, you. know, people that are a little bit older. might think, "Oh, I missed my window. because I see a lot of creators that are. teens or in their early 20s, right?" I. didn't start my journey until my. mid-30s. And when I was recording my. very first video, I was stuck, you know, feeling that level of paralysis where, "Hey, what are people going to think? What if people laugh at me? What if no. one watches the videos?" And what got me.

over that hurdle. was remembering that even if one person. watched my videos and it made a. difference, a positive impact in their. life, then that's a reason for me to. keep going. And I put out that video for. that one person. And it was also a good thing I had that. realization because there was probably. only about one person that was. [laughter] watching my videos in the. beginning, and it was my mother-in-law, like Laura's mom was so good at like.

liking and sharing my videos to all of. her network. And for a long time, you know, I wasn't. getting any views. Then I kept at it, right? I kept switching formats. My. whole content was about not giving up. after failure, because I was somebody. who just found myself having failed so. many times in my life that I wanted to. inspire people that even if you have. failed, you can keep going. So, as my. content wasn't taking off the way that I.

wanted to, as it was failing, I wanted. to give up myself, but because my. messaging was to not give up, I had to. keep going. That inadvertently became my. own motivation. And so, I kept trying. new formats, new types of stories. Eventually, I landed on asking friends. and family members to be actors in. videos. Everything was shot in my small. little studio apartment on iPhones. And. one of the very first videos that ended. up going viral was a video that honored.

housewives, because I realized that. housewives, especially at that time, there was not a lot of content that made. it obvious as to how hard it is to be a. stay-at-home mom. And so, I created a. storyline about a mom who has this to-do. list, and she wakes up in the morning, she has to get her kid ready, she has to. get herself ready, she makes lunch, she. takes her kid to school, she comes back, she cleans the entire place. She's doing. all this work, and then she's making her.

husband's favorite lunch for when he. comes back. And right before he comes. home, the child makes a complete mess. out of the house once again. So, the. husband comes home and he looks around. and he's clearly upset. And the wife. goes like, "What's wrong, honey? Do you. not like it? I made your favorite dish.". And he goes, "I like it, but what did. you do all day? Were you just sitting around doing. nothing?". And you could tell she was completely. heartbroken by that response. And she.

walks off in tears. And so, the husband. is upset and you know, feels like his. wife doesn't appreciate him because of. his hard work and he's the only one. doing hard work. He goes and he finds the notebook of her. to-do list and sees all the different. things that she had to do that day. At. the very end, it was make dinner for the. person that I love. And he instantly felt this guilt. realizing how much she actually did, but.

he didn't see it. And what was so special about that video. for me, it was the very first one to. ever go viral. But what was so special. was not just the amount of views. Yes, that video went on to get 250 million. views. But what was more important to me were. the comments. There were so many women. that said, "This video helped me feel. seen. This video helped me feel like. being a housewife or a a stay-at-home.

mom is appreciated." And on the flip of. it, there were so many husbands in the. comments saying, "Wow, I decided to. bring my wife flowers today to let her. know how much she's appreciated. I'm. going to start to tell her how much I. love her and I see the hard work that. she's doing." So, I started seeing the. actual change that happened in the. world. So, what I would say is if you. are looking to create content, if you. are looking to start a business, if.

you're looking to do anything that is. worthwhile, start with your why. Start. with your purpose. And if your purpose. is to try to help people, which I hope. it is as you and I can both relate to, no one wants to start something make the. world a worse place, right? We all want. to make the world a better place because. of what we have contributed to it, then. just remember, even if one person is. able to be better off because of what.

you have done, then it's worthwhile. pursuing. My very first comment on a video, do you. know what it was? It was one of my. quote-unquote friends that said, "Who do. you think you are? Tony Robbins?". And that hurt so bad because I was like, "Oh my gosh, who do I think I am?". But then I also realized that that video. is not for him. >> That sets a great story, man. I I love. the reframe. of putting yourself out there, being. cringey, being awkward, being. uncomfortable because it may help one.

person. I I love that reframe because. one of my friends recently started. making food content. And she was telling me, she was like, "Oh gosh, anytime I put out a video, I. just feel so awkward and cringe." But. the thing that keeps her going is. someone who messages her and says, "I. made your recipe for my daughter tonight. and she loved it." Or like, "I made this. for my husband tonight or my wife. tonight and they loved it." That is what. keeps us going and I think when you get. lost in the views and the numbers and. the digits, you lose that love. And I. think that happens even in the.

astronomical numbers. We've both. experienced. insane numbers. And if you don't look at. the comments with those insane numbers, you stop being fulfilled because the. numbers don't last for that long. Like. they can eventually get You can get used. to them as well. But it's that comment, it's that DM that makes all the. difference. If people start making content like. that, now talk to me about what makes. the shift where like, okay, you were. putting it out, it was making one person. happy, your mother-in-law, and that.

video you just told me about was your. personal story with Laura where you were. ungrateful to her, right? That's what it. was. >> [laughter]. >> I'll get that. I'll ask Laura later. I. have a to-do list. All these things are dying to know. >> This was at a time where she was not a. mom yet. >> [clears throat]. >> But, yeah. >> But, talk to me about the difference. between I'm making videos, it's making. one person happy, I'm doing it for the. right reason, I'm doing it for a. mission. But, hey, I need to get better. at this. Like, I need to understand how. to connect with more people because if.

I'm going to make this my livelihood and. actually have a team, I know you have a. huge team, you have incredible studios. now. Like, what it's grown to is a real. machine. And I think this is something I. want to make people aware of that you. can do what you love, but if you want it. to last and you want it to sustain and. you want it to grow, it is going to have. to become more effective, organized, and. machine-like to some degree. Talk to me. about how you tested them what you did. as a business person in order to go from. I want to make a difference in the.

world, one person is happy, but actually. we need to reach more people if I'm. going to make this real. >> There's a five-step process. that anyone who's looking to be a. successful creator or even to own a. business or be an entrepreneur that if. you follow this five-step process, I. promise you you will be successful. To make it on brand, right, I came up. with an acronym as to what this. five-step process is. So, the five-step. process is called heart.

H E A R T. Step one is H. Honor your story. You can easily follow trends, but. instead tell your truth. We were talking about this earlier that. there are so many people that want to be. creators out there. There are so many. businesses out there. It could feel. overwhelming. If you have a goal right. now, that's probably in the back of your.

mind. There's already so many people. How am I going to stand out? But there is only one you. There is only. one person that has lived the life that. you have lived and is able to tell your. story. So start by honoring your story. and I'll tell you a quick example. There is this friend that I have. She's from Colombia and she has this. thick accent. She's always wanted to be. in media. And so when she came to.

America, she was working as a news. broadcaster. But she would be given a hard time by. the producer because the producer would. say, "You're not pronouncing certain. words right. That's not how it's said.". And would constantly make her feel. insecure and criticize her because of. her accent. Eventually, she got fired. from that job because of her accent. So. she decided, instead of giving up on her. dream of becoming a content creator,

that she wasn't going to let any. producer control her destiny. So she. decides to start a YouTube channel. And. naturally, she just got fired from her. job. She's insecure about her accent. She's trying to sound more American, right? Because of that. But she's. putting out videos and she's speaking in. her authentic voice, creating whatever. the type of content that she was. creating. And ironically, the reason. that her content succeeded is because of.

her accent. There were so many people. that also had an accent that looked at. that and said, "I can relate to this. person because they sound like me.". So take the thing that makes you unique. and make that your superpower. >> Let's talk about that one for a second. because I really do like that one. And I. think that's why I've noticed, especially in short-form content, the. incredible rise in people just sitting.

in their car. It's so intimate and. personal and you're so in someone's. life. And I've heard people just ramble. Like sometimes someone's just rambling. Like I think there's a lot to be said. for people who are like, "I'm not a good. public speaker. I'm not well-spoken.". Some of my favorite videos are just. watching someone vent in the car because. it just feels so real and I feel like. I'm in the car with you and I'm feel. like I'm your friend. And then there are. some people who are more polished, who. are more clean about what they want to. say, are more clear about what they want. to say. And I think I love the part of. honoring your story and who you are and.

where you come from because that's all. you have anyway. Like you can't Like she. couldn't change her accent. This person. can't change where they live or what. they're doing. You are going to have to. put yourself out there and I love the. idea of just being really clear about. not thinking you have to be more or less. polished, more or less professional. Some people I love because they're not. professional in how they put out videos. at all. And there are some people I love. because they're so professional. And. then there are some people who I love. because they're really fashionable. And.

there are some people I love because. they don't care. And it's like that is. what's so fascinating about the point. you're making is that we don't all. follow one type of person. You might. follow someone who's just always put. together and then you love following. someone who's always a mess. It's not. like this. It's not like there's one. person in the world that everyone thinks. we should all follow and that we don't. want to follow other people who do it. differently. >> It's the hardest thing in the world to. actually believe this and take a chance. on this, but the things that you are.

most insecure about are actually what. makes you the most relatable and makes. you the easiest to connect with others. Your greatest struggle is actually your. greatest superpower. And I'll give another example cuz we. both have a mutual friend, Jamie Kern. Lima, the founder of It Cosmetics. She started. her career also in media, and she was always ashamed or made to.

feel uh bad about herself because of. different skin issues that she had. >> Yeah, rosacea. >> She had rosacea, and she can never find. a product in the marketplace that. actually worked for her. So eventually, she decided to create her. own product. She turned her biggest. struggle into her biggest superpower, and eventually sold her brand to L'Oréal. for $1 billion. So think about those. areas in your life that you feel you're.

actually trying to hide from, and those actually might be the things. that take you to success and grow you. into having the biggest audience of. people that are experiencing something. very similar to what you're going. through. >> I love that. All right, what's E? >> The second step is E, earn your. audience's trust. It's easy to get somebody to watch a. video one time, but if you're going to. build a sustainable career as a creator, you have to get them to keep coming.

back. And how are they going to keep. coming back? Is if they trust you. And. the only way to get your audience to. trust you is if you know who your. audience is. What do they like? What do. they feel? What drives them emotionally? What do they connect with? What are. things that they're struggling? If you. help your audience become seen, they'll. want to come back and watch your videos. over and over again. So the number one. comment that I get with our stories, because we tell stories that have very.

diverse characters. This was in a time. where, you know, Hollywood traditionally. has been mainly white. And when I. started creating content, I created. content with people in the videos that. look just like me. I mean, I'm Indian, my wife is Hispanic, our team is very. diverse. So, those are the types of. people that we put in our videos, and it. represented all types of people. And all. the story lines from the beginning came. from my own life experience of failure. And because other people could relate to.

what I had been through or experienced. similar types of hardships, they said, "I see myself in your content." And. that's what was able to connect with. them. And so, similarly, we were just talking. about this actually before we started. the podcast, you have so many people. that want to come on your podcast. And. sure, maybe you know it's going to get a lot. of views. Because they might be a controversial. person. And as we know in today's. environment, if you say things that are. controversial, you'll probably get a lot.

of views. But you made the decision. that your platform, your brand, your. mission stands for something. It's who. you are. So, you have made certain. decisions to not platform someone that. might have gotten you a lot of. short-term success, but because you. believe in your long-term success, and. more importantly, because you wouldn't. ever want to disappoint your audience. So, everything you do, you need to think. about earning your audience's trust if.

you want to build a sustainable career. as a creator. >> What do people do when they feel like. everyone's watching, and then now no. one's watching, and everyone's watching, and no one's watching? Like, you almost. feel like you're trying to earn your. audience's trust. You thought they'd be. interested in this, but now they're not, and you're feeling disheartened by the. fact that God, the last video got like a. million views, this video got like. 10,000 views, the next video, or let's. not even talk about that, astronomical. My first video got 1,000 likes, I felt. really good. My second video got 100.

likes. What do you do when you feel like. it's flip-flopping? What are you doing. wrong? What are you not understanding? I. think. when it comes to pivoting, right? In business, in life, there's going to. be a lot of times where something is. working and it no longer is. So, how do. you know when is the right time to. actually switch your strategy? Because. what is the common advice? Don't give. up. Keep going. Guess what? I peddle. this advice, too. But, there is a point. in time where I.

You might want to go do something else. >> Yeah. >> And there's three reasons, I would say, that you ever want to pivot. Number one. is when your inner goals no longer align. with the outer outcome. And what I mean. by that is your purpose is no longer. aligned with what you're doing on a. daily basis. And a lot of times, we. might feel that when you're trying to. become successful and it's not working,

that's when you probably need to pivot. I know just as many people that are. actually very successful at something, but they're successful at doing. something that no longer serves their. mission or fulfills their why. And. that's the hardest thing in the world to. take something that is already. successful and decide that I'm no longer. going to do this because it no longer. aligns with who I am. But, if you don't.

make that decision, it's always going to. end badly. So, if you're ever feeling. like you no longer are aligned with your. purpose, that's the first reason to. shift. >> Mhm. >> The second reason is when the market has. changed or the audience has changed. We. keep wanting to put out the same thing. because it's worked one time or it's. worked for many years. But, at certain. points in time, trends change, the.

algorithm changes, desires, public interest, whatever it. is, changes. And so, we have to be able. to face the hard truths of reality, and. those will often get you to try new. things. There's this great book called. Who Moved My Cheese? >> Yeah, yeah, great book. >> Yeah. And it's basically about mice. trying to go to the same place that. they've always found cheese, and then as. an experiment, that cheese gets moved to. a new location. There's a certain group. of mice that keep going back to that. same place that that cheese was not.

found, and they keep going again and. again, and they never give up. And then. there's another group that after a. couple times where they realized the. cheese wasn't there, they actually go a. different path and start looking at. different areas. The ones that were able. to move on the quickest were actually. the mice that survived the longest. So, if the cheese in your industry has been. moved, you have to be able to to see. that. >> Yeah. >> The third thing. I would say is if you are not pivoting,

is it because you are worried and not. facing the truth about reality? Because. it is scary. It is so scary when. something has worked for so long, and. the idea to now, all of a sudden, have. to do something new that you've never. done before. But, the longer you stay. stuck in that place, the longer it's. going to take for you to find that new. way of success. So, just ask yourself, are you not pivoting because you think.

the data is wrong, or is it because you're in denial? And. if you are in denial, then you have to. face that that hard truth that it's time. to make a change. And I will say, there's always greatness on the other. side of that mountain. I know it sounds. scary. Anyone listening to this right. now, you are at a place in your life. right now that if you look back 5 years. ago, you're probably at a better place.

And that's because you embrace certain. hard changes that might have felt scary. at first, but you made those decisions. to get to where you are today. So, don't. doubt your ability to overcome whatever. new environments and changes that are. going to be there for whatever this new. chapter of your in your life is going to. bring. >> By the way, thank you. >> for being so systematic. This is why I. love Dha, cuz Dha has a system and a. methodology for everything. And and. those [snorts] three points helped so. much. And one of the ways I practically.

applied that in my company from day one. was what I call the 70/30 rule, which. was that 70% of our content would always. be what we know works, and 30% would. always be trial and error. And so, we. were okay if 30% of our posts absolutely. tanked and didn't work because the one. that did work would become the next. phase of the 70%. And we've seen that. time and time and time again. You will. see us trialing new formats and trialing. new types of content all the time, but. that's 30% of our output because that.

30% will become the future 70%. The. mistake we make is you do 100% of what. works, and when it ends, you don't know. what's going to work, and now you have. to go 100% in trial, and then you'll. have 90% failure, and that gets really. really scary. And so, these points that. you just shared are huge, and that's. been one of the ways that we've. implemented it. I even saw in the early. days, like I saw a lot of my. peers in the space when I started, which. was actually just 10 years ago, 2016, Jan this year, I saw a lot of my peers.

become one platform people. And I saw a. lot of people become like a YouTuber. At. that time, I was a Facebooker through. and through. Like, that's where I made. content. And I saw people like I saw. peers of mine, or even actually even. people before me, hindsight, the OGs, who literally paid off their parents. mortgage because of how much money they. made on YouTube, and then the next year. couldn't pay their own rent. They were. living with their parents living with. their parents. [laughter]. >> And I have to pay that house that I. bought you that I got to move into now.

>> Totally. And I was so heartbroken. I was. watching that and I was like, "God, that's scary." And I noticed that you. couldn't be bound to a platform. So, even though one platform was killing it. for me, we were always building multiple. platforms and multiple businesses off. the back of that because you couldn't. rely on So, everything you're saying are. practical things that even in my life, even though I didn't have that. methodology you just laid out, those are. the practical ways we were doing it. Let's go to A. >> The third step is A, architect a system. What you're describing right now is a. framework for success. The goal.

shouldn't be to create a piece of. content. The goal should be to create a. company. or a content machine. It doesn't matter. even if you want to be a one-person. practitioner or if you want to have a. 5,000-person team and become the next. Disney, the goal should always be to. think about content as creating a. company. And what I mean by that is you. have certain systems in place. You have. certain methodologies. ways of testing. new content and also super serving the. content that is working. And so, for us,

you know, we have processes when it. comes to how do we greenlight content, how does something flow from script all. the way to screen, and all the different. processes that are involved in between. We have a great team that's always. leveling up and learning new skills that. we've empowered in order to make sure. that the content has continuity because. I know so many people that have gone. viral once and that should never be the. goal because if you have the company.

infrastructure underneath and all of. these systems and processes that make. sure that you can keep putting out new. content every single week or new. products or whatever your goal is, that's what's going to ultimately lead. you to long-term success. >> There's one more thing you reminded me. of that I loved. We did this years ago. We used to do something that I learned. called the bored test. And so, what we. would do is we'd watch a video or we'd. watch a podcast as a group as a team, and people would start putting up their. hands as soon as they got bored. And it.

was almost like when you watch America's. Got Talent and someone presses the. buzzer, and the person has to keep. performing until everyone puts their. buzzer out. And it was amazing because. we got to see every moment in which it. was like, "God, this podcast got boring. at 30 seconds. What are we going to do. at 30 seconds to help people feel. connected?" Or "This video got boring at. 3 minutes 17 seconds. What are we going. to add there to keep attention?" And it. was these systems that allowed us to. create engaging content, and I think. people don't realize how much.

engineering and how much thought and how. much intentionality. goes into serving a great piece of. content. When you look at the best TV. shows you love, when you look at the. best movies that you're fixated on, it's. because someone has obsessed over every. single line in that script and every. single visual and angle that you see. You're not just watching it because it. happened to capture attention. And I. think we almost have this false belief. that like, "Oh, when you make art, it. just works." And I'm like, "Mm, I'm not.

sure about that. It's It's as much a art. as it is a science.". >> Half of our revenue from content comes. from just repurposing the same videos. into other platforms or into different. types of content. Here's what I mean. In traditional media, if you create a. hit franchise, right? Let's say Friends or Seinfeld. How many. times are you able to sell that show to. so many different places? We are. watching it on Netflix, you're watching. it on Hulu, you're watching it on. Disney, all these different places. So,

the people that created that that. content, they can keep monetizing it. over and over. But on social media, it. doesn't work that way for creators. You. put out one piece of content, whatever. it's going to generate in the first 30. days is typically about 95% of the money. that you're ever going to make. But, it. doesn't have to be that way. And so, what I started doing was I started. figuring out ways to give that content. new life. I started doing this several.

years ago. Now, it's a little bit more. known of a system, but let's say I. create a YouTube video. And that video. is 21 minutes. I am being served. an audience that is watching that video. who wants to consume 21-minute videos. These are people that are probably. eating dinner and have about 20 minutes. to watch, watching in their living room. But, there's a whole 'nother group out. there of people that want 2-hour videos, and that's what the algorithm is serving.

them. And then, so what I did was I took. my existing videos, and I would combine. if they're about 20 minutes each, I. would combine combine six of them, and I. would come up with the theme. Let's say. there's a whole theme around kindness, you know, the kindness you put out into. the world always comes back to you. That. is what I consider packaging. I'll put. six videos together that have that sort. of a lesson, and then I will put that on. a stand-alone channel as a separate. video, and now YouTube is going to go.

and serve a whole different audience. that content. So, now out of those six. videos, I'm getting another life out of. that content. You do this with the. content. A lot of people do this with. content. That's a known thing. The other. thing that we do is cutting down the. content. A lot of people know clipping, of course, now. You take that same piece. of content, you find 1-minute versions, you put it on TikTok, you put it on. Instagram Reels, you put it on YouTube. Shorts. Yeah, great. That might not be. generating much revenue, but it's. helping you gain a certain level of.

exposure that ideally is going to lead. to long-form views back to your main. YouTube channel, your podcast, whatever. it is. But we also do something called. reversioning, which is taking a. 20-minute piece of content, and we'll. cut it down into, let's say, a 7-minute. video. We'll look at the retention. graphs of the video, we'll take the most. interesting parts, and before we post. it, we have a whole system of testing. that piece of content. We'll take a. 20-minute piece of content, create 20.

different versions of it in a 7-minute. video, run Facebook ads, and by the way, when I say this, I know I know it sounds. expensive. I'm talking about we'll spend. like $5 testing each video, see what the. best-performing one was, and then post. that one on our Facebook. So, it just. goes back to having a system in place of. testing, of optimizing. These are the. things that are going to ultimately help. lead you to long-term success. That's. the difference between what big creators.

are doing and smaller creators that they. may not understand. It's not that big. creators have more time in their day, they're not necessarily working harder. than you are. I know lots of small. creators are probably working just as. hard, if not harder, as I am. They just. have a method of doing things. And so, if you can learn what those methods are, that's going to give you the advantage. for success. I'll give you one last. analogy. If. someone asked you, "Go out and cut as many trees as you. possibly can." And they're going to give.

you 30 days to accomplish that job and. hands you a pickaxe. What are you going. to do? Most people would grab that axe. and start chopping. And sure, in the beginning, they're. making progress. Let's say that they can. cut one tree a day. I don't know how. this all works, how many trees you can. cut a day. I'm not encouraging anyone to. cut trees. Let me get that [laughter]. Let me also get that out there. All. right. Um we love trees. But that one person can, let's just say. cut one tree a day for simplicity. The.

other person goes and thinks, "Hey, I'm. not going to start cutting trees. I'm. going to create a system for cutting. trees. I'm going to create a tree. cutting company. I'm going to go out and. recruit people now or build a whole tree. manufacturing facility and I'm going to. spend 29. days doing this." So, on the surface, it. looks like that one person that's. cutting trees, they're way ahead. They've cut 29 trees in 29 days while. the other person hasn't cut a single.

one. But on the 30th day, >> [laughter]. >> when that person shows up with an army. of tree cutters and all the. sophisticated tools and supplies and a. whole factory, they're going to cut 300. trees on the day that someone was going. to cut one. So, focus on building the. company, not the content. >> Yeah, well said. >> So, step four is R, reach people. emotionally. And the whole idea is that. we're so obsessed about having the. perfect edit or the perfect lighting or.

the perfect angle. All those things at. the end of the day, yeah, they help a. little bit, but that's not going to be. the reason why people watch. No one is. listening to this podcast right now or. watching it on a video think, "Oh my. gosh, the podcast isn't great, but the. lighting, the lighting is amazing or the. sound effects or whatever else." So, it. goes back to what we're talking about. early. Don't try to worry about being so. polished. The real success is in trying. to keep that emotional resonance with.

your audience. We call it retention, but. really what is retention of any video? It's your ability to connect emotionally. with an audience. The only reason that. people are still listening right now is. they're feeling something. That is the. ultimate retention graph. So, don't get. overly concerned about all these metrics. and the data and all those things. Yeah, they matter in architecting the system, but you also have to reach people.

emotionally. And with my content, I. think that's why it has worked. I have. so many families, for instance, that. watch our videos. So many moms come to. me and they say, "Dar, I have a hard. time trying to get my teenager to listen. to anything I say, but for some reason, when they watch your videos, they. suddenly get the lesson. And because now. I've been able to embrace watching your. videos with them as part of our nightly. routine, that's actually improved the.

relationship that I have with my child.". That is an emotional connection, right, that exists and has been the secret for. our success. Because people feel. something, they'll want to share it with. others. They'll want to comment. My. favorite comment is, "This video made me. cry. This video improved my relationship. with my spouse. This video helped me. realize that even if I failed, I can get. back up and try again." And I'm sure.

your comments and your DMs are flooded. with those sorts of things. So, I would. say that's step four, try to reach the. heart. >> I couldn't agree more. I remember years. ago, this is before. I mean, this is this is an old old. article. There was research done. on I think it was like 7,000 pieces of. viral content. And. I believe it was in the New York Times. and they found that. there were only five reasons content. went viral. And it was because you made people feel.

one of these five things. It was. adventure, so when you see someone like. skydiving, or you see someone like water. skiing, or whatever it is, someone's. doing something that makes you feel a. sense of adventure, or they're traveling. and like you feel this. thrill and this burst of like wow. they're on a journey. The second was humor. So our good friend. Adam W who knows how to do this best. Like when people laugh in the same way. as your comments are this made me cry,

people who said this made me crack up. I. sent this to my friend. We're rolling on. the floor laughing. Like making people. feel humor or comedy videos. >> Or laugh so hard I cried. >> Yeah. Or or that. >> Yeah. >> [laughter]. >> Or that. Or that. >> Then you get both. >> Yeah. Then you get both. Or cried so. hard I laughed I guess. >> Yeah. >> The old guys too. But like yeah I was. watching a clip of Trevor Noah the other. day from his new special and it was so. funny that again is one of them. So. humor. So adventure, humor. The third. was negativity. So the news makes you. feel a certain way. That's why we don't.

skip a news story. It's why we share it. It's why we talk about it. It's because. it makes us feel something in that case. negativity. Fourth was inspiration. Which is yours. and what I try and focus on as well is. that our content makes people feel. inspired or that's at least our. intention. And the fifth was surprise. And I think you do this really as well. as well cuz your stories have so many. like turning points and twists and. things like that. And so a sense of. surprise. So the point is I always say. this to creators, if your content. doesn't make you feel adventure, humor,

negativity hopefully not, inspiration. [laughter] or surprise, >> Yeah. >> it won't be shared and therefore it. won't be seen. And I feel a lot of. people are like what is this going to. teach someone? Or what is this going to. like. what are people going to remember? And. it's like no no no, what do people feel. when they watch your content, when they. hear you speak, when they hear your. voice, when they look into your eyes, what do they feel? And so I love that. uh reaching your audience is the fourth.

aspect. >> Yeah. Reaching their hearts, reaching. them emotionally. Yeah. And number five. is turn views into impact. Right? You can get a lot of views. and still be unsuccessful. You can get hardly any views and still. be very successful because at the end of. the day. I think we're all here. on this earth to make some sort of a. positive impact, right? Nobody wants to. spend their life doing something that. they're not proud of or didn't feel like. someone was better off because of their.

existence. So, more important than just. trying to chase numbers chase meaning, chase adding value and giving back. And. that's what the whole brand has been. built around is letting people know that. even on your worst day that brighter. days are at, that you can fail, everything can go wrong. But. you still will get a second chance. Everyone deserves a second chance. If. they never ask for your side of the. story, then the side that they heard is.

already everything that they already. feel about you. So, don't waste your. time explaining yourself to people who. are dedicated to misunderstanding you. >> The five-step system is absolutely. brilliant. The three reasons to pivot. were fantastic. I really feel like if anyone follows. that, they actually have the exact. blueprint you need to build a successful. business, whether it's a YouTube. channel, whether it's a product, a. podcast, or whatever it may be. And I. know how dedicated you've been to your.

mission, like it's so clear to me cuz I. know all the ups and downs that come. with everything you go through and the. fact that you've held on to that and how. important that was to you. So much of that is based on your own. story. And I want to kind of go back. there for a second. I'm sure it almost brings tears to your. eyes to like think about. how. when a kid messages you or sees you or. runs up to you at like Disney, which. I've seen videos of this happening. When like you're at a Disney with your. kids and other people's kids run up to.

you and they want pictures with you and. they recognize you and they are moved by. your videos. I mean, I'm sure that makes. you just go "God, I never thought when I. was going through all that stuff that. this would be happening.". >> I'm so grateful for where I am in my. journey because. when I turned 30 years old, I reached. the lowest point in my life. And I truly felt that my life was over. I was broke. I was depressed.

I just got out of a bad breakup. I had. anxiety. I had depression. I had family. issues. I was days away from getting. evicted from my apartment. And honestly, I'm sure like those. listening have probably felt this type. of feeling before. It just felt like everything I have ever. dreamed of was falling apart and my life. was not going to amount to anything. And I stayed in that low place for a.

long time. The one thing that really. helped me was reading stories of. inspirational people. And it turned out that every person that. we look up to that is successful, they've encountered a lot of failures. leading up to that success. So, I read. stories about how Michael Jordan was cut. from his high school basketball team or. how Oprah was fired from her job as a. radio host or how J.K. Rowling had so. many publishers turn her down before.

Harry Potter came out or how Walt Disney. um went bankrupt multiple times before. even coming up with Mickey Mouse. And reading those stories made me. realize that failure is not the opposite. of success. That is actually a part of. success. Those people didn't become. successful because they didn't fail. They kept They became successful because. they kept pushing through those failures. until they finally got to success. So, that motivated me to keep going.

And what I decided to do was that's when. I started thinking, how many other. people are out there that are struggling. like I am? What is the one thing that. makes me unique? What is my superpower? I just failed a lot more than everybody. else. I made a lot more mistakes than. most people out there. So instead of. hiding from that, I'm going to embrace. that. I'm going to talk about that. openly because that's not something that. you hear quite often people say. I.

messed up. I'm wrong. I failed. I'm sure. a lot of women hearing this probably. wish that their husbands would say this. more often or vice versa, you know? [laughter]. So I started saying that, right? That. here's what all the things that I did. wrong in my life. And in the beginning I. would just talk to camera thinking that, you know, my videos would go viral. because I was giving this profound. advice. And I remember posting my very. first video on my birthday cuz I. thought, oh I'm going to get extra love, you know, I'm going to get prioritized.

in the algorithm cuz everyone's going to. be coming to my page. So I post this. video. and I refresh and I refresh and I. refresh. And that video. got no views. It didn't even break 100. views at that time. And I kept thinking. like, if I could just get a comma in. that number, right? And for a long time. I thought that the algorithm was broken, that something was wrong because this. video was so good. No one was watching. my videos early on, but you know what?

This was mission driven and because I. was trying to help people. get through hard times, I kept going. I. kept putting out video after video. And ultimately I started switching my. formats. That's when I started. storytelling. My views went from 100 to. maybe 500. So then when I started. storytelling, you know, the ceiling that. I got up to was about 1,000 views. And I. couldn't seem to break past that. And so. as much as I tried, I kept putting out. video after video, nothing seemed to.

break that ceiling. And I got a little. discouraged. And so, one day I told my. wife, I said, "You know, I'm thinking about giving up. Maybe I. want to still inspire people, I want to. but maybe like creating videos is not my. way of doing that. Maybe it's writing a. book or maybe it's talking on stage.". And God bless Laura, she's like, "No, you you I can't give up. Like, I see how. passionate you are about this. You have. to keep going.". So, I keep putting out videos. I keep,

you know, every single week, no matter. what, I kept being consistent, kept. showing up, kept putting out video after. video, and still none of them were. breaking a thousand views. So, one day I. told Laura, "All right, you know what? I have tried. my best. It's just not working out for me. I'm. just not meant to create videos. So, this next video that I create is. going to be my last one." She didn't. want to accept that, but you know, she. supported me in my decision. So, I used.

to write my scripts on napkins at that. time. And everything was a story that. taught some sort of a positive lesson. And at that time, my brother-in-law was. visiting me and my wife's friend was. over. This was in our small studio. apartment. So, I'm writing this story on. a napkin, and I decided to talk about. infidelity. And about how infidelity can start with. seemingly small innocent acts, such as. liking an ex's Facebook post. So, I came. up with this idea about this husband.

who's liking this ex's Facebook post. while his wife is cooking him dinner in. the kitchen. As I'm staring at this. napkin, I look up and I see my brother-in-law. scrolling Facebook on his phone with my. wife's friend cooking something in the. kitchen with her back to him. And I suddenly got this inspiration. I. don't call it serendipity, call it fate, call it God, whatever it is. Cuz at that.

time, keep in mind, I wasn't doing any. visual storytelling. I wasn't creating. scripted content. So, I walk over to my. brother-in-law and my wife's friend and. I said, "Hey, will you guys be in this. video?" They're like, "What do we have. to do?" And I was like, "Nothing. Just. literally stand there and do what you're. doing." I mean, in hindsight, I probably. should have told my brother-in-law that. I'm portraying him as a cheater. >> [laughter]. >> But, I just was like, "No one's going to. watch this anyway." So, I had one team member at that time. I.

asked him to record on an iPhone, right? And instead of me telling a story, just. talking to camera, I narrate a story. while my brother-in-law and my wife's. friend are just doing what they're. doing. And I'm saying, "Hey, you know, cheating can start relatively innocent. acts such as liking a I'm narrating this. whole story. I shoot the video. I go to bed that night, don't think. anything of it. I schedule that video to. go live at 6:00 in the morning. The next. morning,

Laura's waking me up. She's shaking me. She's like, "Dar, Dar, wake up." I'm. like, "Oh, what's going on?" She's like, "That video that you posted, it's going. viral." And I'm like, "Yeah, right." I'm. still half asleep. I'm like rubbing my. eyes, like trying to see it. And sure. enough, the last video that I ever planned on. posting was the one that went viral. And I say this story because I want. people to know that you could always be.

one opportunity, one phone call, one. door, one piece of content away. from massive success, from achieving all. of your dreams that you've ever wanted. And you'll never know unless you keep. going. Because imagine if I had given up. one video before, none of this would. have ever happened. So, going back to. your story about. how it feels now when people come to me.

and they say, "Dhar, I watch your. content." The reason that it feels so. special to me is because I know that I. started putting out content for people. to be able to overcome their toughest. times in life, to be able to know that. if you failed, failure is an event, it. is not a person, that you can pick. yourself back up and keep going. So, it's more so the way that people. describe how my videos have affected.

them or how they've my videos have. brought them closer to their mom or. their spouse or their children or helped. them believe in themselves or feel seen. in a way that they've never felt before, that's the greatest gift of all. >> I couldn't agree with you more. I mean, it's. it's so interesting to me how. you always one win away. >> Never underestimate God's ability to. change your life in an instant. You're. much closer than you ever think.

And it could happen. tomorrow, but you would not know unless you keep. going. >> If you put yourself back there. and someone told you this is going to be. the journey you're on, I guess you. wouldn't even believe it. >> It didn't even seem possible, you know? I was just so broken. I had failed so. much in my life that I honestly felt. like my life was over. That I was never going to amount to. anything, that none of my dreams were.

ever going to work out. I had worries. that on my tombstone. people were going to say, "Here is Dhar. Mann, the biggest failure that has ever. existed." Like literally, that is what. went through my my mind. And so, if you could tell me back then. that I would be where I am today, like I. would just say you're you're crazy. Like, there's absolutely no way. And I think that's what gives me so. gratitude so much gratitude like for. this journey, and that's why every step, every win. I am so appreciative of that because I.

remember what it's like to be on the. other side of this and feeling like. completely hopeless. >> Talk to me about the importance of. having a good partner. when you're. an aspiring entrepreneur. >> For me, having the right partner. is the biggest decision that you will. ever make in your life. And when you're choosing the right. partner, don't choose someone that you can have. fun with.

You should choose someone that you can. struggle with. Because anyone's going to be there. during your good times. When you're high. on life, when money is flowing, when it. seems like everything you touch turns to. gold, guess what? There's going to be a. whole army of people around that want to. be your friend. But when you're at your lowest moment, when you're there sitting in the. emergency room at 3:00 in the morning, how many people are going to show up to. hold your hand? Very few people.

And when you find that person, that is the person that is meant to be. in your life. And Laura has been that person for me. I'm so thankful that she came into my. life because she came from a different. set of values and upbringing than I did, and she helped straighten my life in a. way that I never would have been able. to. I grew up where operating in a gray. area was okay. Right? Like, if as long.

as you made money, it was okay. The means didn't have to justify the. ends kind of a thing. But Laura came in. and she was so black and white about. everything. Her morals, about, you know, the way that one should live. And that. really helped to get me on a better path. in my life. She believed in me when I. had nothing. Like, in the beginning, I couldn't even afford the ticket for. the parking garage when she came to. visit me. Like, that's how broke I was. But, she.

still saw something in me that I. couldn't even see in myself. And she kept believing me and she kept. making me feel like. all these big dreams I had, all these. ideas, that they weren't silly. That they weren't over. That I could. still achieve them if I just focus and. worked hard enough. You know, I remember. early on, >> [snorts]. >> uh there was this influencer brand trip. that we got invited to. And the brand.

that was paying for it would only buy. economy tickets. They wouldn't buy. business class. I was just grateful to. get a plane ticket, but what I didn't. realize is that every other influencer. paid to upgrade their ticket. And at. this time, Laura was the influencer. I. wasn't creating content. So, these were. all her friends. So, all of her friends were sitting in. first class. And Laura and I came onto the plane, and you probably know this feeling,

anyone listening to this probably knows. the feeling. We walked by first class, and all of her friends are watching. And we went all the way to economy, and. like the friends in the seats, they're. kind of like looking at us, somewhat. judging. I felt so embarrassed. And I said, "Babe, like, I'm so sorry. that I couldn't afford to upgrade us to. first class." And she's like, "As long. as you're next to me, that's all that. matters. I don't care if we're sitting. in economy. I don't care if we're riding.

the bus.". And like at that point where I felt like. I was nothing and I was just humiliated. and was, you know, sort of laughed at because of that to. have someone that believed in me and. stood by me despite that, that meant so. much to me. And you know what's interesting is like. fast forward to today. >> [laughter]. >> A lot of those people, you know, riding. in first class are now the ones riding. in economy. Because they didn't manage their money.

well or they were spending, you know, incorrectly and I'm grateful to have. built success. in a way where, you know, we've managed. our finances well and made good. long-term decisions where we've built. something sustainable so we can fly the. way that we choose to now. >> I mean I I love hearing about your. relationship cuz I know Laura, she's. incredible. Like she's unbelievable. She's such a special force of a human. And I know how much she loves you and. cares about you and so hearing about you.

speak about her in that way. is is super super heartwarming. What has love taught you that success. never could? >> I think in success you think about the. big wins. But love is actually in the details. And I'll give you a great example of. this. One time Laura and I were flying. to go see her favorite artist perform. Laura was so excited. She gets. unbelievably excited when it comes to.

like seeing her favorite artist. And she. spent all this time on her makeup, on. her outfit. She had all the pictures. planned that she was going to take. We. get to the concert. and her phone dies. She forgot to charge. her phone. Now I could look at that and say. "Why didn't you think to charge your. phone?" and blame her for that. But instead. I took it as something I missed. Because. I know my wife. She's not the best at.

charging her phone. >> [laughter]. >> And it's also very important to her to. take great content for moments that she. enjoys. So going forward after that day, now. today, whenever we go anywhere, whenever we. travel, as soon as we get to the hotel, I put her phone on the charger. I always look for any opportunity that. she could run into a problem and think, "How could I prevent that before she. experiences that pain?" And by the way,

because of things that have gone wrong. in the past, that's why now I always. have snacks on me. I always have Advil. I always have safety pins. I always have. boob tape or tampons or whatever it is, because sometime in the past, Laura has. really needed something that she didn't. have, and I saw it as an opportunity for. the way that I could serve her better. So literally and figuratively, Laura's. gas tank is always full, and she doesn't.

have to worry about it. So love taught. me that it's in noticing the small. details, and you win when you serve. others. Taking that same application can also. apply to business. And when I did that, that's when I started winning big. When. it came to my team members, for. instance, or it came to certain brand. partners. If I'm in a room and I happen. to overhear someone say that their.

favorite artist is coming to town, I'm just going to surprise them with. artist tickets. They wouldn't even know that I was. listening. Or if I happen to overhear a. conversation of someone saying they. always want to learn how to play guitar, I'm going to surprise them with a guitar. and try to sign them up for guitar. lessons. If there is someone that tells me that. they have a child, I'm not going to say, "How old is your kid again?" the third. time I met them. I'm going to say, "Your. kid is six, right? Her name is Ava.

She's in kindergarten. How's. kindergarten going for her?" That makes. somebody feel seen in noticing the small. details, and that's what transcends. people feeling like the reason that they. exist in your life is for some sort of. business purpose and that you truly care. about them. >> So, it's a love has actually taught me. quite a bit in how I can actually apply. those same lessons to business that has. made me more successful. >> There's so many connections in how we.

treat one person into how you treat your. company into how you treat your partner, and it's almost so much of it is so much. more interconnected than we give it. credit for. And I think a long time ago. everyone would be like, "Well, this is. how I treat this group of people, and. this is how I treat this group of. people." And you start to realize that. our mind's not that good at. segmentation. It's almost just bleeding. the energy that you have for one person. into the other. Don, I've learned so. much today. You have. uh. as always, even though we've had many. many dinners, Indian dinners usually,

where we're having these conversations, I feel like I've learned so much more. today, not just about your journey, about strategy, about growth, about your. approach to business. I think people are. going to get a lot of value from this. We end every episode of On Purpose with. the final five. These questions have to. be answered in one sentence maximum. >> Oh, shoot. >> So, Don, man, these are your final five. brought to you by State Farm. First. question, what is the best advice you've. ever heard or received? >> The reason that you have certain big. ideas and dreams in your head is because.

God put them there for a reason. God wouldn't put these big ideas, these. big dreams, these. big notions in your head that keep you. up at night because you're so excited. about this vision of what your life can. look like if you weren't meant to. achieve them. So, always remember that God's vision. for your life is bigger than your own. Don't doubt him, and sometimes all you. have to do is get out of your own way. >> Second question, what is the worst.

advice you've ever heard or received? >> The worst advice that I ever received. was someone said, "Dar, you should. change your name.". >> [laughter]. >> And that's because at that point in my. life, I had failed so many times that. the only thing associated with my name. was failure. And for a long time, honestly, I did. think about changing my name. But then I realized.

there's so many people out there. just like me that feel like a failure. I wanted to create a brand that lets. people know that you can have second. chances in life. You can get knocked. down and get back up again. And so, instead, I decided to create a whole. studio that is now one of the biggest. storytelling studios in the world that. lets people know that regardless of how. bad life has been, better days are.

ahead, and my name is associated with. positivity and overcoming hardship. So, I'm glad that I didn't listen to that. advice. >> you thinking of? What were the ideas? What was the. >> I probably would have changed my name to. Jay, you know? Like, good things would. have happened, I would say. >> list? >> [laughter]. >> Question number three. What makes a good friend? >> Someone that focuses on giving more than. getting. A good friend is not somebody. who shows up just when times are good. When money is flowing, when it feels. like you can't miss, cuz there's always. so many people wanting to be in your.

life then. A good friend is someone who. shows up during your hardest times. Someone who shows up at the emergency. room at 3:00 in the morning and is. holding your hand, letting you know that. you're going to get through this. So, whoever is with you during your. struggle, they're the ones that deserve. to be with you during your success. >> Question number four, what do you say to yourself. when you're. at rock bottom in your most difficult. moments? >> Don't underestimate God's ability to.

change your life in an instant. God's vision for your life is so much. bigger than your own. And a lot of times, the reason that. stops us from getting that life is us. We're holding on to the things that he's. trying to remove. How many of us have. stayed in that bad relationship, or. stayed in that bad friendship group, or. hung on to those bad habits, or those. bad ideas, or the bad job, or. situations? We have to get out of our own way. When.

God is trying to remove certain things. from your life, let him. Because you can't hold on to today's. burdens and also receive tomorrow's. blessings. >> Fifth and final question, we ask this to. every guest who's ever been on the show. If you could create one law that. everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? >> Just be kind to one another. You never know what someone is going. through. People don't walk around with signs. saying, "I'm trying to hold it all.

together right now.". We tend to think of the people that have. like the big public breakdowns as the. ones that are really struggling, but. there's so many people out there that. are struggling in silence, and you never. know. So, just be compassionate because you. never know what someone is going. through. >> Doll, obviously I'm so excited about. this because you just launched your own. podcast, which I know has been in the. works for many, many years. Tell us. about the podcast. >> It's called What Happens Next. And the.

reason I came up with that name is every. successful person in life, they've all. encountered so many failures, so many. hardships, but what matters the most? What happens next? So, this podcast is. just a platform where I sit down with. some of the most inspirational people in. the world that have overcome some of the. biggest challenges and have still. gotten to unbelievable success. And so, for anyone that's looking to get. inspiration or advice, I think it'd be a.

great podcast to listen to. I'm really. excited and I hope that one day that. you'll come on. >> Absolutely, man. Absolutely. Congrats. I. can't wait to tune in and so excited for. people to check out what happens next. >> you so much. >> man. Dah, I'm so excited to see what you. continue to build with your company, your mission, your drive. I. am your friend all the way. I'm excited. for you. I'm pumped for you. I can't. wait to see you keep winning. I'm. excited to see the content you're going. to create, whether it's film, TV, movies. I know you've got so many.

incredible plans in the studio you're. building and it's amazing to see what. you've created. I can't wait to be able. to I can't wait till you start building. theme parks. Like, I'm like I'm just. ready for it, man. [laughter] So, I'll. be right there lining up to attend all. of it and I want to thank you for being. such an incredible source of inspiration. in the world to millions of people. across the world and for being a dear. friend. I appreciate you deeply. Thank. you, man. >> Yeah, it's a huge honor. Thank you so. much. Love you, brother. >> you, man. If this is the year you're. finally ready to start that business, level up your goals, or build real.

momentum in your life, you need to hear. my conversation with Alex Hormozi. >> I have a a very simple framework that I. encourage people who are starting out to. follow, which I call closer. So, C. stands for clarify, which you begin the. conversation like, "Hey, why'd you. respond to my thing?".