Charli D’Amelio: The 2 Versions Of Herself The Internet Never Separates

It was one day, no one cared what I did, no one cared what I wore, what I looked. like, what I said, and then all of a. sudden that was all anyone would talk. about. I think back to some of the. things that I said in interviews, yeah, hate comments don't bother me, and I was. like, you went home and cried all night. because of it. While filming season 3, our entire family was going through a. lot. It's hard to watch back those. episodes. I say I don't know to. everything, but the thing is, I don't. know who I am.

Before we jump into this episode, I'd. like to invite you to join this. community to hear more interviews that. will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All I want you to do is. click on the subscribe button. I love. your support. It's incredible to see all. your comments, and we're just getting. started. I can't wait to go on this. journey with you. Thank you so much for. subscribing. It means the world to me. The best-selling author and host. The number one health and wellness. podcast. On Purpose with Jay Shetty. I want to say this to you because I.

don't think I've ever talked about this. with you, but you come up in more. conversations or when I'm doing keynotes. on stages, and it's really funny because I kind of. think of you randomly and often. I want. to share this with you. I've never said. this to you. And it comes up because I. I've watched your journey from afar as. everyone has for such a long time, and. I've really deeply admired just how. phenomenally skilled you are at what you. do. I think you're a phenomenal dancer, an incredible performer. And if I'm ever presenting or talking to.

anyone about social media or digital or. whatever it is, I always bring your name. up because. I think you're one of those people that. obviously got your moment on TikTok when. it took off and everything, but I feel. like there were just years and years of. practice and hard work that went behind. it that we don't always see. And I just. I just wanted to share that with you as. we kick off today that I think it's. incredible, and I think you've been. practicing for this life that you live. since you were like 4 years old. And so, I I always try and highlight that. And.

so, I don't know. I I think of you in. that context often, so. No, thank you. I mean, I appreciate. that. I think when it comes to social. media, it's very easy to get on yourself. and say it was just luck, but to hear. that from someone like you is. definitely, you know, puts it into a. different perspective that I don't. always let myself feel, which is really. nice. Good. I'm glad. Thank you. Do you. still. kind of kid yourself and just say it's. luck to yourself now after all these. years? Do you still feel that way? I do.

And I think that, you know, having that in the back of my. mind definitely keeps me. a little bit more humble and helps me, you know, this wasn't something that. I was asking for or looking for, but I. mean, I've. all like my entire life I've been. filming videos, whether it's like, I was. 10 and look at how I do this or this how. I do my makeup. Like always just making.

videos. That was always something I. loved, and I never shared them with. anyone until TikTok. So, it's really. it's crazy to think back about those. times and how they probably really did. help me get to where I am now. I love. what you said that luck. or viewing your success as luck helps. you stay humble. I think that's such a. beautiful trait and quality to aspire. for and to always practice. At the same. time though, I'm guessing that when you. see it through the lens of luck,

sometimes it can affect your self-esteem. or self-worth because you're like, "Oh, I just got lucky and maybe I don't. deserve this." I don't know if those. thoughts come up at the same time as. trying to stay humble. There's this side. of like low self-esteem that we all go. through. I mean, absolutely. I think. it's hard not to feel that way, especially a lot of my journey was. everyone telling me that. I didn't deserve it, kind of feeding. into that and it's starting to really. affect, you know, how I think about.

myself. Do I deserve anything? Why am I. where I am? I don't do anything special. I'm not different than anyone. There's. millions of people that would probably. be better at my job than I am, but. somehow. it's me. And, you know, I kind of try and. separate myself online from who I am in. person. I always like to say it's Charli. D'Amelio, who everyone else sees, and. Charlie, who I am when it's just me. And, you know, you really have to.

appreciate the things that you work hard. for because I feel like those are the. moments where I really do feel proud of. myself because I don't always, even when. achieving these amazing things, I'm. like, "Well, it's not really. me. It's the people that are watching me. that got me here, you know? Like, they. could have done this to anyone." But, when it comes to things like Dancing. with the Stars or hosting the Kids'. Choice Awards, like, those were two. of probably my.

favorite accomplishments of mine because. I really felt like I had to work for. that. And, it was just. moments where I I really truly felt. proud of myself, and I don't feel like. that very often. Mhm. I'm so glad that. you shared that with us because. yeah, it's it's interesting, isn't it? It's like, the reason why you did so. well. on both of those is because you've done. it for. years and years and years. But, sometimes you need to have a moment. where you're working really hard on one.

specific thing so that you can see it. How long did it take you to. make this. awareness of like, there's Charli. D'Amelio and then there's Charlie. Like, how long did it take you to figure that. out for yourself and to even explain it. in that way? Yeah, it definitely took me. a while. I always knew in the back of my. mind I was like I would do certain brand. deals or ads and they'd have this. creative and I'd do it and I'd put on. this like super happy smiley like.

obviously catering to a younger audience. which I love doing but that's not who I. am at heart and I think growing up and I. started this when I was what 15 years. old and then I was turning 17 and 18 and. I was you know getting tattoos and I. would curse and everyone would be like. whoa this is crazy and I was like this. is what I do in my normal day-to-day. life like this is who I am. So I really. just had to. the version that people don't like isn't.

even me, you know, it's what they. nitpick out of certain things that I do. and I think coming to that realization. honestly over the past few months maybe. this past year I think has been probably. one of the most helpful things to not. let what other people say get to me. I. empathize and feel so compassionate for. how difficult that could be to be that. young and have millions and millions and. millions of people having an opinion on. everything from what you wear to what. you say to what you do and who you date.

and just everything, right? Like I can't. imagine being your age and being put. under a magnifying glass like in the way. you have which I think's also very. unique because I think TikTok put people. under a magnifying glass in a way that. it also never been done before. It's. like a first time thing. So what has. changed about. then 15 and you're only 18 now so it's. only been 3 years, right? 19. 19 now. You're 19 now so it's been 4.

years. Yeah. In those 4 years what has. what would you say is the biggest. change that you've seen in. who you thought you were then and who. you are now. I think I just. you know, I was in high school. It was. one day, no one cared what I did, no one. cared what I wore, what I looked like, what I said, and then all of a sudden. that was all anyone would talk about. It. It happened so fast. and I put up a a shield to kind of.

protect myself, which helped me, but. also hurt me a little bit because it was. hard to get out of that shell. And I mean, I think back to some of the. things that I said in interviews like 3. years ago, "Yeah, hate comments don't. bother me." And I was like, you went. home and cried all night because of it. Like I would say things to make people. think one thing, but inside I was very.

sheltered and I went through a. a pretty big stage for maybe like the. first 2 years where. I always looked out for the best in. people and I got hurt a lot. You know, people wanted to make videos together. and and they would invite me over for. collabs and then they would all hang out. and I wouldn't be invited and I would I. would be so confused and the excuse was. always you're too young or you know, whatever and I was like, you guys are. just hanging out at a house. Like how am.

I too young for that but not too young. to have you in all your videos? And it took a lot of. you know, distancing myself, a lot of. talking to my family, going to therapy, you know, figuring out who I am outside. of anyone watching to. be a little bit more content with myself. and understand that I don't need to. have all of these people like me, you.

know? I'm fine on my own. I love being. by myself. I'm fine with the friends. that I have in my corner that I've had. for years or the new friends that come. into my life that actually. love me for me. And. you know, there's nothing that. I can do. I feel like. now I'm kind of at a point where. you know, whatever. Like that's kind of my motto. I always I'm just like, all right, okay. I don't I don't know. I don't care. And.

focusing more on the things that really. matter to me. Like it sounds so lame cuz. I constantly talk about my dogs like. they're my children. But literally like spending the day with. them, taking care of them, my. responsibility being them and not. myself. I don't have to worry about work. or anything. They don't care if I have a. million followers or none. Like. I don't know. Just focusing more on the. things that actually matter. The fans. that actually love me no matter what. Like. have been there for years or are brand. new and actually like who I am and not.

just what I. put out, you know? Mhm. Yeah, and it's. and it's so hard because so much of what. you put out is you or is a part of you. Yeah. And it can feel like the biggest. part of you because it gets the biggest. response. Yeah. And it's it's almost confusing in. your brain to be like when you're with. your dogs Mhm. it's a small part of your. life or there's a small amount of people. there, but it's actually a bigger Yeah. of a bigger importance or bigger.

significance to you. I have so much life that no one sees. I. have so much about me that no one knows. about. And I'm fine with that, you know? I don't feel. like I need to change myself for anyone. because I've I did that for so long and. it was so exhausting and I worked so. much while being so burnt out and just. wanting to. kind of get away from everyone. Yeah. that now what I want to do is.

definitely a lot more important than. what everyone's telling me to do. Mhm. And that's And that's really tough. Like, when I've spoken to. even like young musicians and and music. stars, it's like most people get their. break when they're like 15 years old or. something like that. And naturally, everyone's older than you. And as a. 15-year-old, you're used to having. parents or people older than you telling. you what to do. And so, whether it's. your manager or whether it's your agent. or your team or whatever it is, they. book you and then you're doing what they.

say cuz you're doing what the adults. say. It's kind of normal. And now that. you're an adult yourself, you're kind of. like trying to take that back. What was. it that you felt you did that wasn't you. or that you felt you were doing because. the adults are saying to do it? Or what. were those things that you felt like you. moved away from who you wanted to be or. who you were? I think I. you know, for quite some time tried to. just. do whatever anyone said to make them. like me, whether it was how I dressed or.

how I talked or what I said, anything, what type of videos I make. I was. listening to every comment, whether it. was like. "I hate that hoodie." Well, I'm never. wearing that again. Like, this person. doesn't like it. And dictating every. decision I made through what other. people said. And. I mean, for. a long time the beginning, um. I was only surrounded by a bunch of.

adults and 25-year-olds and all of this. stuff and they. would always say how mature I am, but I. was just trying to fit in, you know? I. was. still in high school, still like, you. know, you want to be with the cool kids. So, the people that I thought was cool, I would do anything to be like them. You. know, dress different every day or or. speak about specific things or try to. sound cool or change myself and.

it's just so not worth it cuz why. why am I going to do that and how long. am I going to do that until they realize. that it's like okay, we get it like you. like whatever we like you don't have to. do that you know, it's just. I think it's it's so unfair to yourself. to. have to do that all the time. I love that I love that you used that. word unfair. Yeah. It's almost like it's. just unfair to do that to yourself. That. that really hit me and resonated with me.

because. it's it's almost like you're just doing. yourself such a big disservice by. molding yourself into what you think. someone wants and that was just a. thought they had on one day in one. second in one comment. and then you have no idea who you are. I. I had to sit with myself and say. I have no idea what I like. I have no. idea how I want to dress. I have no idea. how I want to do my makeup or what's my. favorite song or what's my favorite.

movie. I just. I don't know. Like I do not know. anything about myself and my answer to. every question was I don't know. And I actually had to. talk to my therapist about this and I. was like I say I don't know to. everything but the thing is I really. don't know. I don't know who I am. I. feel like all I know is what anyone. tells me to do and. I mean it's.

it's a really weird feeling because how. do you get out of that? How do you find. out what you like? But you really. just have to try things. Get out of your. house. I was not leaving my house. ever. Like I would go through these. phases where I don't want anyone to talk. to me. I don't want to do anything. I. just want to stay in my room all day, watch TV, like not get ready, nothing. And I've been really low a couple times, and I think this past time that I got.

really low was when I was like, "Okay, my parents even said, they were like, we're not going to let you We're not. going to sit here and watch you. rot in bed all day and not do anything. And just like we can't do that. That's. so unfair, and especially when you don't. live with your parents and they're. noticing that, it's an issue. So, I had to kind of. really dig deep and ask the questions. that. I didn't ask for so long for whatever. reason. Maybe I didn't want to know the.

answer, it was too much or scary to. figure it out and be your own person, but. I think it's just so much easier. Mhm. And I And I think it's also just, you know, being it's really hard when. you're living your own journey, and then you realize as you're getting. older and as you are maturing as as. everyone does, you're looking back. going, "I can't really expect my 15-year-old. self to know all this anyway." Like, I.

think, you know, for me, when I think. about being back to 15 and I didn't know. anything about myself and I wasn't. dealing with the pressures you dealt. with or the challenges that you had. And sure, I had different challenges and. different stresses as I'm sure everyone. does has their own thing, but the point. is that as a 15-year-old self, you don't. really know what you like anyway, because it is true. You are trying to be. with the cool kids or you are trying to. be like the other people and you're. getting involved in all sorts of things. just for people to give you approval and. validate you. And then all of a sudden,

it's amazing that you're now coming to. that point where you're like, "I want to. know." And I think what I love about. what you said is, and it's because I. said this often in my books and my work. is that knowing what movies you like, what foods you like, what songs you. like, that is the beginning of. self-awareness. Like, it's that basic. It's It's not this complicated. deep thing that it begins with. It. really starts with those things. It. starts with these really simple everyday. choices that we all have to make. So, I. want to ask you simple everyday choices.

What is it now that Charlie likes? Like, what is it that Charlie has discovered. that Not Charlie D'Amelio, but Charlie. enjoys and appreciates. So, what are the. joys of life that your dogs obviously. mentioned, but what are some of the. things that brings you joy that you feel. you're discovering for the first time? Things that bring me joy. I love. cleaning. That's something that sounds. so lame, but is so therapeutic. I love. um What about cleaning? Cuz I want to. know I want to know now. The way you. said that with so much genuineness, I'm.

like, all right, what about cleaning? Honestly, to me, it's just therapeutic. Like, put something on my TV, clean my. room, organize my stuff, make it. how I like it, you know? Because there. can be. certain things that. oh, well, you know, this is cool. I guess I like this, but. what picture do I want out? What am I. proud of and want presented? How do I. like my bed made? How do I like my.

chargers to be set up? It's like such. minuscule things that I think make such. a difference, and it also makes you feel. productive and makes me feel like I have. my stuff together. And I mean, as. someone who. struggles with obsessive-compulsive. disorder, that's one of my like. big things where I feel like when I'm. doing that, I'm almost clearing my head. So, I don't know. It's just something. that I genuinely enjoy doing, and I. think it's super fun. Like, this. morning, cuz I've had such bad jet lag,

I was like, "Okay, I can either try to. go to sleep for the next 3 hours or get. up and clean the kitchen and play with. the dogs." And I was like, "All right, let's just get up and do it, you know, I'll get up in 5 minutes and we'll start. to do the stuff. You order your coffee. and do all the things that you need to. do to feel together and that made me. happy and I was really proud I did that. And I started my day on a great note and. now I feel great. So it's just like. little things that I just I find so much.

fun in. Mhm. Yeah, no, I I mean, the. team will attest to this too. I'm like. addicted to organizing shelves and. bookshelves. Mhm. I I'll take you to the house afterwards. and I have like I have this bookshelf in. there that I personally curated and like. everything and like even if my wife. moves one book, I'll notice it and I'll. be like, where's that book gone? But. it's like I get that like organizing. spaces and creating spaces to be spaces. you want to live in and sit in. Like. even this room right now, like I curated.

it because I want to be in this space. and I want it to feel comfortable for my. guests and for myself and I want it to. also spark curiosity or whatever it may. be. And I think it's interesting how all. these tiny things, when you're. intentional about them, they can spark so much joy without. trying that hard. Yeah. And I mean, it might be a little. bit of like. the very few parts of my life that I. genuinely get to control, you know, it's. not up to anyone else, it's not. you know, do it this way or.

wear this or show this product. It's. like I just get to do this and make it. how I want, the way I want it, on my own. schedule and I'm fully in control of. this task start to finish. Mhm. Which, you know, Yeah. it's a way to deal with. being a little bit of a control freak. Yeah. No, and you're right. I think that's. such a great point. It's rare that we. have that much certainty and control. over anything in life. And if we don't.

do it at home, we're going to. potentially try and do it everywhere. else where we can't. Yeah. I don't know, I think that's a. great point. What else would you say. that you've discovered about your likes. and dislikes? Like what was something. that you thought you liked before or. someone had told you to like before and. now you're like, uh, I actually changed now. Like that's not. how I feel about it. Ooh, um, there's definitely a few. I'd say. one thing that I started to specifically. like my own way was music. I, you know, would listen to whatever's.

popular and I feel like now I really. only listen to the songs that I. genuinely enjoy listening to or I relate. to and even if it's the most random. playlist ever where it's like rap, sad. music, country music, like all in one, I. enjoy listening to that and I don't have. to listen to whatever everyone else is. listening to and I also can if I want. to. If I want to listen to. whatever's the top 100, I'm going to do. that, you know, even in front of other.

people. Like I can play. what I like and I'll take suggestions. and not just, "What's your favorite. song?" Well, whatever one's the top one. right now. Like, you know, having that. to myself is also something really nice. Mhm. Have you discovered any new artists. or anyone recently that you're like, someone that maybe we haven't heard of. or someone that maybe is less heard of. that you like? Well, my favorite artist, his name is Pimstones. He doesn't make. music anymore which is really, really. sad, but he's my favorite artist ever. He's made like.

some of the most incredible songs I've. ever heard and they're just so beautiful. to listen to and one of them has been my. favorite song for a while. Actually, someone at my dance studio when I was. like probably 13 had a solo to it. Wow. And ever since then, I've been. obsessed and he only has like two songs. out on Spotify, but I will listen to the. two of them just on repeat forever and. ever and ever cuz they're so good. Wow.

Wow. That's amazing. Yeah, I love it. I'll check it out. Only two songs on. Spotify. So, Kim Stones. All right, I'm. going to go check it out after this. interview. No, I love that and I think. it's. really refreshing and it must feel so. good. I can see it in your face. So, you. just seem so like genuinely happy. talking about the things that spark joy, that bring you that sense of comfort and. ease and make life that much more. What. if someone right now is. listening and they're like, "Charlie, I'm struggling with what what you just. said. Like, I find it hard to.

be open and honest about the things I. like because people make fun of me or. ridicule me or maybe people tell me. that's not cool or whatever it is. Like, what has slowly given you the confidence. to get there and what what do you think. people need to hear to almost feel. confident in themselves to say that? I. think it just starts with giving. yourself permission to be open with. yourself. Because it really like. as much as it sucks to hear, like, it is.

all in your head. You have to work on. your self-talk and. I think positive self-talk is something. that is so often overlooked because. everyone's so overly critical of. themselves. You see your face, you know, in the. reflection of your phone. You're in. pictures, background of photos. You're. like, "Oh, I hate this one, but this one. posted it and I can't do anything about. it." You know, you have to once you. start speaking in a more positive tone. about yourself and the people around. you, the easier it is to feel more.

positive, you know? Instead of, "Oh, I hate the way I look. today." Well, you know what? My hair's. doing something different and I kind of. like it. You know? Starting with those. little little things that sound so. so. like, it's so tiny. Who Who even cares, you know? It's in my head. It's not. affecting anyone, but it's affecting. yourself. So, I think just the more you. can be positive and open with yourself. and. not so overly critical of yourself. If. you like a movie and no one else likes.

that movie, doesn't mean it's a bad. movie and you you can't like it. You can. still enjoy watching it and. Okay, we just have different opinions. That's normal. And. they probably like like stuff I don't. like, but that doesn't take away from. what they like. It's just, you know, the. way you talk to yourself is so. important. Yeah, you're so right and it's it's so. subtle. Like those thoughts as you just. said, like I love that switch that you. just made between I don't like how my. hair looks today or oh, my hair's doing. something different today and that's.

interesting or it looks cool, whatever. it may be. There's an amazing book uh for those of. who who are more interested in what. Charlie's talking about right now. It's. called Psycho-Cybernetics. and it's this whole idea of how our. thoughts completely define our reality. and how as you just said, studies show. that we have 60 to 80,000 thoughts per. day and 80% of them are negative and. repetitive. So, we're often having the. same thought which is like I don't like. how I look or I don't like.

how my hair looks or I don't like this. about me or whatever it may be and you. keep having that thought. Oh, yeah. And. then it just spirals and then that's all. you feel about yourself and then it. becomes your reality. So, that book. really helped me. It's a it's an old. school classic in this space, but it. convinces you that you can change your. thoughts and it's not like you're lying. to yourself, right? Like I I want to. address this for people who think that. positive This is not about positive. thinking. This is not like looking at. yourself and going, "I'm amazing and I'm. special." Like that stuff doesn't work.

either, but it's almost just tweaking. your thoughts slightly to being How do. you change from being critical to just. being curious? And that little switch. can change everything. Exactly and it I. think it's so important because. getting to the point where you have a. more positive self-talk, it's. it's not linear. You know, you're going. to have dips and and bad days and good. days and bad months and good months. You. just that's that's how it works. But I. notice when I start to see myself slip.

and realize I've been super critical of. myself and you know what? I've had such. a bad week. That's probably why I'm feeling so. insecure and maybe I'm taking it out on. other people or I'm I don't want to. leave my house because I've critiqued. everything about the way I look and not. focused on one positive thing at all, you know? It really that's when I noticed when I. started to dip again, how important it. is to really focus on being. kind to yourself.

Mhm. Yeah, and I and I I I hope people. really hear that because. I think the reason why we're hard on. others is because we're so hard on. ourselves and the reason we're so hard. on ourselves is because we're so hard on. others and it's almost like if we were. just able to be kinder to the stranger, our friend, our family member, then I. think we'd actually be able to be more. kind to ourselves and vice versa as. well. like in friendships and relationships, I. think it's important uh. if you're.

telling jokes back and forth to each. other and maybe they're like, you know. how you joke with your friends like. sometimes it can be a little mean. I've. you know, I've done the why don't we try. and just be really really nice to each. other for a little bit. Let's really. focus on bringing each other up and I've. actually had that conversation before. and I think it's something that sounds. almost corny like let's be super nice to. each other, but it really is helpful to. have the people that you love and maybe. you say it when you're a little bit.

down. So, you know, you're not asking. for compliments, you're just asking for. a more positive environment around you. and I think that there's something so. special about that and the people around. you that love you will definitely be. open to it, you know? And I think that. there's also something in that the. people that you have around you every. day, you need to. try and build up with you. Mhm. Yeah, and that's I get I get that people find. that hard because I'm also in England we. banter a lot and so I banter a lot with.

my team, with my wife. Like if you if. people see me and my wife together. they're like they're like you guys hate. each other. Because we'd go so hard and even my. friends, I just came back from London. for my sister's wedding and I was there. with all my boys and I was so we're so. intense with each other. And that's how close we are. Like the. more intense we can be. But you're right. that sometimes and it's really. interesting because when you get into a. one-on-one with a friend, they'll say. how much they need the opposite. Mhm. Like when you're with a group of. people and you're all bantering it's. great. But then when you're one-on-one. with someone, you hear how someone's.

like, you know, I need a bit of. encouragement or I I need I need to know. that you think I'm doing good at this or. whatever it may be. So. And also like don't be afraid to be the. person that is going to text all the. people around you every time you see. them do something. I'm so proud of you. Like you looked amazing at this or this. was so cool that you did this. Like be. that person. Be the annoying person. You. know, I wish I did it more and I should. and that's something that I'll take into. the rest of the day. Um but this morning.

even I I had a conversation with my mom. and she's got back into modeling. She's. in Louisiana right now. So I haven't. seen her in a couple days and she was. sending me photos and I didn't answer my. phone for a little bit just because I've. been jet lagged and crazy and. I was like. jeez, like if I sent her something I. would want to hear back how proud she is. of me. So let me just go over the top. because sometimes you need to be that. person. Especially if that's the energy. that you're trying to get back. You. can't get that without giving it too.

Mhm. Yeah, well said. And how's that. been because obviously that's a big part. of it, right? Especially with the new. new docu-series as well. Like the new. season. Like this idea of. your whole family's now in the spotlight. and it's almost like people just lump. everyone together especially when it's a. a big family and everyone's got exciting. things happening and you know I've. obviously interviewed your whole family. before so I've I've sat with them and. it's it's wonderful and at the same time. it's hard to find your own space and. carve your own identity right like.

that's challenging. Yeah, I think that the family dynamic is. something that is really really. confusing. especially for me I'm the youngest so. you spend all your time trying to. impress your older sister you spend all. your time trying to. prove something to your parents even. when they're already proud of you you. know it's. really confusing you don't know where. you fit in I'm like. I live with my sister I don't live with. my parents but you know I still want the.

same support that I got when I lived. with them but I can't just go up to. their room anytime I'm having a bad day. they don't know what's going on with me. all the time when we're working together. on a shoot you know I I hate to say this. but sometimes they want more stuff of me. or whatever it is or we want this at for. the family and then they'll you know. expect extra from me and it's like. well where do I fit in because I'm. the youngest but sometimes they want the. most and.

well you know it gets to a point where. it's like. well they they're they're not there for. me and it's like well you know what. everyone's doing their own stuff like. everyone has their own stuff going on. Dixie has music my mom's modeling my. dad's doing business stuff like. there's so much going on for all of us. at the same time it can get hard to. celebrate every single achievement when. there's just. four of us all doing different things. all at the same time running from place. to place traveling you know.

we're still figuring that out now I. think while filming season 3 our entire. family was going through a lot, like. mentally and with work. So, it's hard to watch back those episodes. because. we were just all in such a different. place and so confused at where we all. stand and. taking it out on each other, which I. think is probably the biggest regret I.

have through all of this with my family. is like. we need to have each other's backs. through everything. Cuz, you know, through it all, you work. with people, you make friends, whatever. You have to have family or people that. you've kind of adopted as family that. are there to support you when there's no. cameras or when there's no likes or. followers, anything. Like you need that. And the hardest time for all of us was.

when we didn't have each other to lean. on. And that is really, really shown in. season 3. And like. even when I see clips, I'm like, I don't. want to see it at all. Like that was. such a hard time for all of us and it's. so. embarrassing at times to see that like. people posting it, reposting it, edits. of it, edits of times where I was like. really, really, really struggling and. hearing people, she's so dramatic. But. you hear a tenth of what was actually. going on, you know? So, it's it's a lot.

Or things are, you know, maybe I was upset about one. thing, but in the show, it looks like. I'm upset about something else. It's. like a whole bunch of stuff that's just. I don't even want to pay attention to. it. It must be so challenging. Like I've. always. I've always thought about it. Like. having a show where every one of your. feelings and emotions is being. documented. and then broadcast sounds like the most. challenging thing ever. It's a lot. Yeah, it's like even just that as a.

premise. And I know it's been around. forever and you know, families have been. followed forever, and this there. this format has been around forever. But, I'm like, it doesn't get easier. because of that, because. as humans, we love to watch drama, we. love to watch the gossip, we want to see. the scoop, the show has like twists and. changes, and you know, characters that. are upset at each other, and you have. all of this going on, but then behind. all of that, there's a real human with. real emotions. Yeah. trying to figure it all out. Have.

you been able to separate like yourself. and then the character on the show, too? Like, do you feel or do you feel that's. just so in interrelated that you're like. In ways, yes, for sure, but. like people don't realize when you're. filming, sometimes you forget you have a. mic on and you say something, and you're. like, I really wasn't that deep, like. Yeah. it's not that important. Sometimes, you're really, really upset, or. you're maybe mentally struggling a. little bit, and you don't have.

a reason, cuz sometimes you don't need a. reason. Sometimes, you just feel really. bad, and that happens. So, you. go through these, well, why are you? Well, what was happening? You know, was. it this person's fault? And it's like, well, I don't know, I was just really. feeling bad, and I didn't have a handle. on it, and I had to film. So, you know, it's like, I don't get a choice of how I. how I go into filming, you know? I can.

try and go in with a positive mindset, but after a couple hours, you know, like, I'm tired, and. you see how maybe I was really feeling. that day. Maybe it's nothing that was at. all in the show. Like, people watching have no idea, but it is. so many real emotions that it's really, really hard. to. separate the two, but hopefully, you. know, if another season happens, I'll be. able to do that. And why did you feel. though in season 3 that it got harder.

with family than easier? Like you'd hope. that season 3 like made it easier, but. why do you think it got harder? Is it. just that everyone's more busy now or. Yeah, I think we were just all going. through so much individually and. constantly taking it out on each other. and you know, that's building blocks to. working with your family. No family that. works together is perfect all the time. and if you say you are, you are so. wrong. Especially when, you know, we. talk about it all the time like family. is everything, but when you're in those. moments where you're like. I'm pissed at this person in my family.

because of maybe it's something stupid, but to me it's like. it feels like a lot. It feels like the. entire world on my shoulders for maybe. something that isn't that big of a deal, but it feels like that to me. You know, it's just. we were all going through so much at the. same time that there was no way that. these cameras weren't going to catch it. It sounds like even even though. obviously you said that, you know, when.

you're a kid you still want your family. to take care of you and obviously now. you're in a position where obviously you. take care of yourself. You you live with. your sister. But what would you say has. been the biggest skills you've learned. in how to take care of yourself when you. don't have your family to rely on? I don't even know. I feel like. that's something that. is so confusing to me still. I feel so independent because, you know, I'm traveling without any of my friends.

or family. I'm on these big work calls. Like I have no training for this. I I. didn't even finish high school. Like I. don't know how to do this. I don't know. if I'm making the right decision. I. don't know if this is, you know, good or bad. I still call my. dad all the time and I'm like okay, but. seriously, what do you think about. this?" Because. I. like the sound's not that cool to me, but apparently it's really like I have. no idea how this works. And, you know,

the more I do it, the more I. get comfortable and learn, but. I missed so much of the normal growing. up, going to college, and then coming. back for Thanksgiving or Christmas or. whatever it is, that I kind of had to. like race to figure it out because it. was. one day you're a kid and you're in high. school and you have no responsibilities, and. now you have people that are working for. you and and you're responsible for them.

and you're responsible for everything. that you do, and you're not allowed to. mess up, but I'm 16. I don't know how to. not mess up. I don't know anything. Like. how am I supposed to learn that without. having these real-life experiences? So, I think the more. as time goes on and the more I'm put in. these situations where I have to be. independent and grown-up, you know, the easier it gets, but it's. still something that I really have to. figure out in each individual situation. Yeah. I'm 36 and I still don't know how.

not to mess up. Like it's just because I. think what we don't realize is you've. got yourself and your identity, like you. as an individual, which is always. changing. So, whether you're 36 or. whether you're 19, you're still dealing. with that. On top of that, you've now. got the industry's always changing. So, like the platforms are changing and the. business is changing and the social. whatever, all of that's always changing. So, you've never done it before and most. people have never done it before. So, no. matter how smart someone was 5 months. ago, everything's changed. And so,

everything's being updated. And then on. top of all of that, you've got everyone. around you who's constantly changing and. growing and evolving. And so, it's so. hard to ever feel you ever have. a handle on on all areas of your life. Yeah. And so, definitely as a. 16-year-old, now a 19-year-old, like. it's it's so much to learn quickly. And. I think you had your You recently had. your prom or you did your prom here, right? Like you. Yeah, I had I had two. We did one on the. show and then I went to my high school. prom back in my hometown.

cool. Yeah, which is really fun and like the. bit of senior year that. I got to have, which was really nice. because I didn't get that. at all. And a lot of kids didn't during. COVID and everything. So I'm definitely. not the only person feeling like this. A. lot of freshman, sophomore year college, like people didn't get that. People. didn't get that very, very integral part. of growing up or whether it's your first. job, like this was my first job. I had.

never had any true responsibility. before. And I don't know how and there's no. rulebook to say, "Well, this is how you. be an adult." So it's kind of just. figuring it out and messing up along the. way, but when you mess up and you have. so many people telling you how you. messed up and how that's horrible and. you're doing all of these things wrong, you're like, "Yeah, I know, but this is. all I know how to do." You kind of just. every day learn a little bit and just.

continue to do your best cuz that's all. you can do. Yeah. Yeah. And I And I Do. you know what? It's interesting because. we're hearing that from you and I think. everyone who's listening right now is. going, "That's me, too." Like, you know, I think it doesn't matter how old you. are or how wise you are or how smart or. whether you have your own business or. you don't or whether We're just all. feeling that way because. everyone. is just trying to do their best and. sometimes their best is not good enough. for everyone else.

Mhm. But that's all they could give. And. I feel that for anyone and everyone. today. And so. I think what you're saying resonates or. feels very relatable, at least even to. me. And I'm sure everyone who's. listening is thinking that as well. Like, I'm just trying. Yeah, and that's. like the normal human experience. Yeah. And I definitely get on myself about it, but. everyone's just doing their best. Like, my parents are still figuring out who. they are. You know, it's. ever-changing. Like, my grandmother,

before she passed, started to get a a. handle on all of the social media stuff. and like how to watch me. She would. watch YouTube videos or like see see. things online articles, and she would be. like, "I heard you did this." And I'm. like, "Well, that's not true. That's. just like an article, you know." And. she's like, "No, no, no, but I saw it in. the press." And I was like, "Yeah, I. know, but it's not it's not true.". So, we like had to get a handle on that, but she was changing and she was. evolving with the times, and she didn't. know how it worked, and she was, you.

know, she was she was a lot older and. and still figuring out who she is. And. well, how do I do this? And and I want. to watch you, but I have to discover. this whole new thing. Like, everyone is. learning something. And she was just. doing her best to watch her. grandchildren on social media. Like, it's something that is so cute and. something that seems so simple to me. Like, well, just download Tik Tok and. watch my videos, you know? But to her, it was like this whole new thing that. she has to learn. And I think once you.

realize that literally everyone is just. trying to do their best to get to the. next day. Like, you can be a lot easier on yourself, but. also a lot easier on everyone around. you. Mhm. Mhm. And also, even just what you. said about your. grandmother, like, learning about how. she's reading something that sounds so. true, and you're like, "No, it didn't. happen that way." And it's funny cuz I. go through similar things with me and my. family. So, my parents will read an. article about me or whatever, and.

they'll get really upset for me, or. they'll get offended for me because. there's something in it that they don't. like or whatever it is. Or there's. something said about the family which. you must have to deal with way more than. I do cuz your family's in the spotlight, too. But then they're like, "Oh, well, why did they say that about the family. and this and that?" I'm like, "I didn't. say anything." Like, you know, it's. almost like I didn't even talk about. that. I didn't mention anything. It's. just someone coming up with something. Yeah. And I can't imagine you like. the clickbait articles where I'm like, "I'm telling you that this.

isn't real." Or she'd like see someone. online she's like, "I don't like them.". I'm like, "Why?" She's They said. something about you 3 years ago. And I'm. like, "Well, they're my friends now.". She's like, "I don't know. I don't like. them." I'm like, "All right.". You you're going to think whatever you. think. Like, that's fine. And she was so. cute and so so supportive. Like, she. spent all day on her iPad just watching. YouTube compilations of my TikToks. And. every time I see her she'd be like, "You. need to stop cursing on the internet.". And I was like, "I know. I know.".

That's so sweet. That's so funny. Yeah, I mean, and and you nice of you not to. block her from those videos, either. Oh, yeah. Even I know so many people. that do that. My other grandma she like. still swipes up on all my stories. She's. like, "You look great." Or she'd like. reply to fan pages. Like, a lot of. people's grandparents I hear this all. the time from all the social media kids. It's like, "My grandma responds to my. fan pages thinking they're me." And I'm. like, "But it's so like it's so sweet.". And I love it. And I mean, my grandma.

that's my grandma on my dad's side. Like, she it's like she still texts me. all the time like, "But you look so good. in this." Or "This is so cool." Or. anytime I do anything where it's like. something that she would like I'll like. send her a photo. And, you know, she's. just. proud. You know, that's also a good. person to talk to that's just like. always going to be proud of me. Just. really nice to have. Yeah, definitely. And to allow that in. Do you find that. you found like I know you're close with.

Mac Miller who I love too. He's such a. Yeah, I I love Markel's energy. I've. only met him a couple of times, but he's. so awesome. Have you found that you've. got a good group of friends around you. in the industry? Because what I've found. is that so I have a bunch of great. friends back in London who are like my. best friends, like my best man at my. wedding and like my closest friends that. I grew up with. And I speak to them like. I speak to my best friend like three. times a week still because it's so. important to me and and I need it. And.

at the same time, I also need friends. who are in the industry because there. are certain things that we can all. understand about the industry, kind of. like the idea of yeah, don't trust the. press on that and whatever because they. already know that because they go. through the same stuff. Do you find I. know it sounds like you have a great. group of friends back at home. Do you. find that you've also found good friends. in the industry that you can kind of. compare notes with a bit too and be. like, oh I just went through that and. this is how I'm feeling. Yeah, definitely. I mean, Markel's like. he's family to me. Yeah, beyond friends,

yeah. shown. so much to me just as a person, whether. it's. talking to me one-on-one or defending me. online or, you know, defending me to the people around him. Like he is someone that every person. that meets him has so much amazing. things to say about him and I'm so. thankful that I have him in my life. Whether it's like we're doing nothing or. we're out with a bunch of people and I. we want to have a dance party in the.

middle of the dance floor and it's just. us two, like we'll do it. Or in the. middle of a restaurant, whatever it is, like I love that. But I've definitely. found a lot of people that are in the. industry and a lot of the friendships. that I have I tend to keep quiet about. And a lot of the friendships that I have. I've met them in very, very weird ways. cuz how am I supposed to meet people, you know? I don't go out super often. I. don't I'm not usually around people my. own age. Like a lot of my friends that I.

met, they were actually. dancers at the Kids' Choice Awards, and. we just. clicked, and I started hanging out with. them, and I really liked them, and. they're really cool people, and they're. in an industry that I'm so fascinated. by. And yeah, they do so much similar. things to me, but it's also different, and. I think that that's really special. And. after meeting them, it was. really refreshing to be around people my.

own age, and also just. have people that are hard working and. determined and not competitive with me. at all, and just happy to see me happy, and I can have fun with whether we're. filming or not, you know? But even like. my boyfriend, he's in the industry, and. you know, we we tend to handle things a. little bit differently, but sometimes I. I have to be like, "It's not worth it, you know? We don't have to respond. We. don't have to do anything. Like, it's. not worth it. I know you, you know me.

Whether people are saying things about. me, or people are saying things about. our relationship, you know, having each. other. to kind of navigate that. on our own is is really nice because. it's also. what two 19-year-olds in a relationship. have their lives together, you know? There's. ups and downs. Like, whether I'm working all the time, or. he's working all the time, or I'm. traveling, or whatever it is. Like,

there's always so much going on that can. so easily put a strain on a. relationship, and also. just coming into adulthood with two. teenagers that have no idea what they're. doing, and just trying their best. Like, you know, it's been really confusing to. navigate, but also really refreshing to. have someone else there that's like. just trying to figure it out day by day. Mhm. It's almost Yeah, it's almost. easier in one sense because you have. someone to bounce it off of.

Yeah. as opposed to. You're like, am I crazy or you crazy? Is. this like is this okay? You know? So, it's it's really nice. Do you Do you think the hardest part. about success and fame is having a. relationship in the public eye? Would. you say that that's the hardest part in. terms of when it comes to your. relationships or that's not? Sometimes, I feel like. you know, when two people that are in a. relationship have like. an off week or whatever.

there can be the whole this person. didn't like their photo or they haven't. posted together, they're broken up or. this person's starting a rumor. Like. even if you you two are struggling, that's for you to go through and handle. it however's appropriate, whether you. guys part ways or continue to work. through things together. Like no. relationship is perfect ever. You have. moments where. so much is going on. Like during Dancing. with the Stars. I was dancing 7 days a week. I was never.

home. He was like, I felt like I didn't. have a girlfriend and that was really. hard. It was hard on my parents, you. know? Like. it's a lot and especially for two young. teenagers to go through. Like we don't. we don't know how to do this. No one. knows how to do this. So, we're just. doing our best and there's ups and. downs, but. we work through it and that's just being. a person, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Absolutely. And And And just the idea of.

it is interesting when you've got two. people who have crazy lives and and have. different journeys and have different, you know, commitments and family. commitments and there's just so much. going on to keep up with it all. What. have you found? What has helped you both. kind of keep up with each other's. schedules and each other's lives because. that's not going to change, at least not. right now. And so, how it What What has. helped? What has worked? I think, you. know, we've obviously talked about this. so much just as a whole. I was I was.

just gone for almost 2 weeks and we were. on different time zones just trying to. text and update each other, but it it's. figuring out what each other needs, you. know? If he wants me to keep him. updated, then I'll keep him updated. because that's what he needs. If he If I. need him to. tell me what's going on in his week so I. don't feel left out, like that's totally. cool. That's what I need. It's just. having that conversation and realizing.

that people's needs change and adapting. with that and not feeling like. Well, I don't want to make him upset. Like. he's working a lot and I know he's super. busy. Like I need a shoulder to lean on. It's also having the conversation like. sometimes I'll literally say. I'm really, really sensitive right now. Like I just need some extra support. And. then he knows to. Well, she needs this right now. Okay, like that's totally cool. That's two. people in a relationship doing whatever. they can to make the other person happy.

Just normal human things and. definitely not worrying about what. anyone online has to say. It's so not worth it. It really isn't. cuz 99% of these people are looking for. you to respond. Like even today, I woke. up to some. crazy person talking about me in like. the most wildly disrespectful ways. like I've really seen in a long time. And the thing is, like me and this. person were at an event together and. this person introduced themselves, I.

introduced myself, we tried to be nice. This kid was not nice to me and then. went and talked very poorly on me. And Lennon's like, "Well, let me call. this kid." And I'm like, "It's not that. big of a deal. Like, it's not. That's. what he's looking for. Is it taking. everything in me not to respond or not. to text him? Yeah, but I know if I text. him, he's going to post it, and that's. going to be a thing, and he's going to. get exactly what he wants. Me to respond. and give in to whatever story he wants. to portray to the people that watch him.

It's not It's not my problem. Like, I. know who I am, and that's good enough. for me. Like, it doesn't matter. Yeah. And it's so hard to get to that point. Mhm. But it's so liberating when you do. Like, it's so freeing when you realize. that where you're like, actually not. responding is not getting caught up in. someone else's. Yeah. Yeah. And like, then it just gives. people an opportunity to Well, if I say. this about her, then she's going to. respond. And it's like,

I don't have time to respond to every. little thing that people have to say. about me. And it it takes so much. It's so draining to to. have to see that. And the more you talk. about it, the more your fans talk about. it, and people in the press talk about. it, and it's like, for what reason? Because. I was angry at this kid who I met once? Like, who cares? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And it And it's hard. when the person you're in a relationship. with wants to defend you, too, and like.

he's so sweet. He is so quick to defend. me in every way possible, and I just. have to be like, it's cool. Like, it's. good. I feel like I tell him that all. the time cuz he gets. so upset whenever people have something. negative to say about me or his family, and. I mean, I think. I definitely told him like many, many. times, it's cool. Like, it's it's. totally fine. They're going to say it no. matter what. And even if you respond and. are like, well, this isn't true because.

this is this. They're not They're They already read. it, and they think what they think about. you. They're not going to change their. minds, Yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're arguing with people that don't. care what you have to say. Mhm. Yeah, it's already lost. Like, yeah, it's it's. a lose-lose situation. So, moving on is the best thing you can do. Yeah, no. And it And it's wonderful to. be with someone and have that with. someone who you know cares about you. that deeply. Like, my wife's like that. Like, my wife gets very defensive about me and. like can get really activated and she. gets really upset for me and whatever it.

may be. And I I really always appreciate. that because. I can see that she knows who I am. And. that's kind of what it goes back to. Where I've always said the same thing to. her. I'm like, "I'm just glad I have. someone who knows who I am." Especially. like when someone cares about you like. that to see you upset because of. something and not being able to fix the. problem cuz they just want to see you. happy. Yeah. Like, I understand how. upset that might make you, you know? And. I I feel bad cuz sometimes I feel like I. drag him into the drama just because of.

the relationship. But, I think knowing that, you know, we have each other and. I can tell him like, "This was This. actually really hurt my feelings today.". And And it was it was a lot. And I just. need some comfort and I need you to. be by my side and that's good enough for. me, you know? Yeah, definitely, definitely. Charli, what are you excited about right now? Like, what's kind of like, you know, you've done so many amazing things and I. feel like this journey that you're. saying with your identity of like.

getting to know yourself better. Yeah. You've done so many things and I'm. guessing some of them you're like, "Oh, yeah, that was Charli D'Amelio." And. then this is Charli. It's like, what is. Charli like really excited about or. curious about or passionate about or. like, what's coming up where you're. like, "Oh, I really want to try that out. or learn that." Or whatever whatever it. may be. Like, open floor. Um. Okay, I think first thing that I'm most. excited about is my dogs. I have a. puppy. Um I know I sound so lame. But, I have a. puppy.

I'm I'm not laughing because I think. it's lame. I'm laughing because it's. cute. It's just like Yeah. You're going to have to open up a dog. shelter or something. I know. I'm like. in love with her. Uh I have my like. older dog who's nine. She's literally me. as a dog and I'm I'm obsessed with her. She's most adorable dog ever. She's a. literal human. But then I have this. puppy that Landon and I adopted from. Nashville and she's like. she was abandoned and she was like it. was a horrible story and it really like.

pulled at my heartstrings and I was. like, "Okay, I need to take you home. now. Like I will take care of you. I. love you." And like watching her grow up. and being responsible for her, I think. has been very refreshing to me because. my older dog she's. you know, she's very self-sufficient. She's also very lazy, so I'll be up in. the morning and she'll wake up 2 hours. later ready to be fed. Like she is not. She has her own schedule and I love that. about her because that's how I raised. her. She's a very like laid-back dog.

Can have all the lights on and she's. sleeping. Like I love that. But this. puppy, you know, you have to train her. You have to It's very specific and these. formative puppy years are so important. to who this dog becomes. There's no bad. dogs. There's only bad dog owners. So I just like am loving this journey of. truly cuz you know, I got my dog 9 years. ago. I was 10. I wasn't actually raising. her and now I'm getting the chance to. raise a dog and it's really really. exciting and special and seeing the two.

of them together is like my favorite. thing ever. I think something else that I'm excited. for is. I have a dance room in my garage. So I. love just going down there. anytime of the day whether it's 4:00 in. the morning or 1:00 p.m. and just like. letting go and being open with myself. and using movement as therapy and also. getting a little bit of a workout in, you know, like being productive. I love. that. And. probably.

experimenting more with my style. That's. something that I've just recently. started to get into. I think Landon and. my sister had a lot to do with that. because I I love the way that they put. together outfits. I think that they both. have really good styles and it comes. very natural to them. And to me, it's a. lot harder because I always go for what. I know instead of stepping out of the. box. But, I'm trying. So, that's. something exciting and it's fun to. experiment, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love how personal. all this was. That's a great They were. great choices. Thank you. Yeah, I love how none of them were. career career related and like none of. them were work related and that's. awesome because I can tell that you've. you've really started carving those two. things as separate. Yeah. Um work wise, you know, using my. voice more online. I think that, you. know, even doing a podcast is something. very outside of my comfort zone. A lot. of my career has been not talking. So, it's been very hard for me to get into.

using my voice and figuring out what do. I want to say, especially when you don't. know yourself. How do you answer. questions? I don't You can't just say I don't know. for everything. So, that's something. that's been special and I've been trying. to make more content for my fans and. trying to use my voice more and like. even little things, finishing a get. ready with me, which I filmed 50 of them. and I post one of them. Like trying to. get more into it and. go back to the reason why I started.

social media because I like it and I'm. finally at a point where I like it. again, which is really refreshing and. nice. It doesn't feel like work. Mhm. Mhm. I love that. And what what's been. What is that? When you say you want to. use your voice and even doing the. podcast today, like you coming on today. and, you know, being open and and. trusting me and trusting this space and. just being vulnerable with the idea of. like you said, I don't know, I'm trying. to figure out who I am. Yeah. And and being okay with that, which I think by the way for a. 19-year-old is is completely normal and.

wonderful and good and like I think. that's amazing that you want to spend. this time in your life figuring out who. you are. I think it's the best. investment you could ever make. I'm so. happy that you're doing it and I'm. hoping that you take your whole audience. and community on a journey to do it for. themselves because you're going to save. so many people from so many stressful. 20- to 30-year-old journeys, right? Like. literally like you can either do it now. or you can do it when you're 30. And if. you do it now, it's like you're going to. help so many people. What.

is is that kind of like when you say. using your voice, is that the type of. journey you want people to go on with. you or. are you are you still figuring out what. that journey it is that you want people. to go on with you? Yeah, as of right. now, it's literally just talking. Talking online. Just actually using my. voice, you know? For so long it was. a song and no words. Like. it sounds so little, but just talking. I feel like that's something that is.

which is so weird, but it's so outside. of my comfort zone. And I feel so. like weird doing it, but has honestly. been really refreshing for me because. you know, I'm growing up and a part of growing up. is being confident with what you have to. say and using your words and just. talking with, you know, a little bit of. purpose. And I'm growing up, but also so.

are all of the people that are watching. me and I think bringing them on that. journey of this is literally just what. I'm doing. I'm not talking about. anything that's really of any importance. sometimes. Sometimes I'm just talking, but that's what I need to do to move. Yeah. to this next step of my life to. hopefully talk about something important. and talk about what matters to me. I. think that that's This is a very. integral step of growing up. I think.

that's really smart. I genuinely do. I. think that takes a lot of courage to. even say that. I don't think it's I. don't think it's like insignificant at. all. I think it it makes a lot of sense. to me that in order for you to stand for. something. you need to get to point where you just. feel comfortable being open and sharing. Yeah, and so much of the beginning few. years of this journey, every time I. talked. someone had something to say. And you. know, you get canceled every 5 seconds.

Like that was what was happening to me. for so long anytime I opened my mouth, so I just stopped talking. I stopped. saying anything that was important to. me. I stopped doing anything that was. outside of the box that I was put in. where I couldn't go wrong if I just. didn't do anything, you know? And I have. opinions. I have thoughts. I have things. I like. I have things I don't like. Why can't I just say it? Like who is. stopping me? The people that actually. care what I have to say, they're going.

to support me even if they disagree, you. know? Whether it's I really like. this outfit and they don't. Like that's. cool. They respect my opinion. I respect. theirs. That's awesome. The people that. don't like me, they're not going to like me no matter. what. They didn't like me when I wasn't. saying anything. They're not going to. like me now. That's fine. I'm I'm not. making my videos for them. Yeah, definitely. When when you say you. still. want to get to know who you are and your. identity, what are the parts that you're. like, I'm still just trying to figure. this out or this part I'm like really.

curious about. I'm trying to learn about. this about myself, but I don't know what. it is. Like what are those parts of. yourself? Yeah, I think a lot of it has. to do with the way that I present. myself, whether it's. how do. I like my makeup done? How do I like to. dress? How do I like to look? How do I. like to show myself to other people? Not just what is. going on at the moment. How do I like to.

smell, you know? I like Born Dreamer. I. know I like that. And let's discover for. future with Born Dreamer, what else do I. like, you know? Whatever I know I like, go a little bit deeper. And you know, something so simple. I've. been doing more colors with my nails, which is so random and so small. It's. your nails, you know? People get their. nails done all the time, but I did. bright green and I thought about that. for 3 weeks before I did it. And like, why? I enjoyed it. I liked the color I.

wanted on my nails. It made me happy. Every time I saw them, I was like, I did that. That was something. different. I normally do nude. Let's do. something fun. Like, that little thing. was so much fun for me and it brought me. so much happiness. And I would match. this color to this and it's just so fun. Why am I robbing myself of fun because I. don't want to put myself out there? Yeah, good for you. I honestly like. you're literally doing all the practical. steps that it takes to build your. values. Like, and that's what it is. All.

of these little habits, for anyone who's. listening, all these little habits and. these little changes that you're making, they turn into values that you. appreciate about yourself. So, a value. could be, and I'm not putting a value on. you, I'm just throwing it out there is. for a reflection, but a value could be, I like freedom or I like self-expression. or I like uh. random can be a value or whatever it may. be. And like, and then those values. become things you can use in the future. for how you make decisions. Now, when. you make So, one of my values has always. been to take risks. I feel like I took.

risks ever since I was 14, 18, 21. And. I've noticed that pattern in my life. And so, now when I'm taking a risk, I'm. not that scared anymore because I've. always taken risks my whole life. And I. love how. when I first took a risk, I didn't even. know what a risk was, like when I was 14. years old or 18. I just did it. And now. when I look back, I'm like, "Oh, no, that's a skill I have now." And so, it's. almost like when you're doing all these. things, you're just collecting lots of. different like skills. And then one day. they'll evolve into values, which will.

form an identity. And then you'll be. able to be like, "These are the three. things that I value and that really. matter to me." And, you know, I love. that you I love how simple you've made. it for yourself. And I love how you've. broken it down because. I think a lot of us try to like leapfrog. to like, "This is who I am now." And we. almost want the. the performance part before the work. part. And it's like I feel like you're. doing the work part. Yeah. And it's it's great to watch. It's. really great to see. Thank you. Charlie, what have I not asked you about.

that you like, "I really want to share. this." Or this has been on my heart or. my mind or like something you want to. talk about that you're like, "This is. what I want to use my voice for." And. that you haven't asked me about it or it. just didn't come up. Something for me. that I think is very. interesting, which is very random and. has nothing to do with my career, my. personal life, or anything. I love the San Diego Safari Park, which. is so random. But I've recently found I. watched this like whole video on it. This like very specific thing that you. have to go through a lot of steps to be.

able to get it for like a zoo or. aquarium or anything. But it's a. certificate that shows if it's humane to. the animals. And learning about that has. been really interesting because I love. going there and I love how free the. animals are and how it's just like they. are in the wild and how they help the. animals. And that's definitely something. that I want to get more into as like. figuring out exactly what it is and. going to more places like that. And, you. know, not appreciating places like. SeaWorld that treat their animals. horribly. You know, like little things.

like that that I think is so interesting. cuz I love animals. So, that was something. I I need to find. the name of exactly what that little. like thing is, but it's really cool and. like to get that, you have to go through. a lot of work and every place is. constantly trying to outdo each other, so the bar is constantly being raised, which I think is so interesting and I. love. quality of how they treat the animals. there. And they have to process a. certain number of Right, right, right. Wow. Yeah. So, that's really cool and. something random that I discovered. that. Yeah. But, my my wife's a big fan.

of uh. visiting animals as much as we can and. so she's she's kind of always led that. and we've gone to some of the randomest. places in in LA because of her, but. her relationship with animals is really. beautiful and she can like, you know, start a relationship with I love that. Yeah, and it's really special to watch. and it's really interesting because we. went to a couple last year and she'd. always come back really like even more. calm and even more just still and and I. and it was really beautiful to see just. how.

when you're connected to nature and we. are nature and, you know, we're a part. of that, but now we feel so disconnected. from it. But, animals are such a great way of. reconnecting. What What do you find. I guess fulfilling or. meaningful about being Obviously your. dogs, but with these animals like what. is it about it for you specifically that. you appreciate about it? I think it's. just so. peaceful and to learn so much. Like when. you go to these places, I will come back. only talking about animal facts for like.

a month and I love it. And sometimes. people are like, "That's like what Where did you even. come up with that?" But, I think it's so. cool and so interesting to see all these. animals in. uh what with each other and and how they. respond to things and I love places. where it's like if they're out and you. see them, that's great. If not, they. don't feel like being out. That's just. how it is. I just think it's so. interesting. And I literally. I've been to the San Diego Safari twice.

and the first time. talked about animal facts for like 2. months. The second time. I leading up to going that was all I. could talk about and I brought I got so. many other people excited about because. I was like, "But you don't understand. how cool it is." Like you are 20 ft away. from a cheetah with like there's no big. fence up, you know? Like it's crazy. Just to see. these animals just living not worried. about.

anything that is so materialistic or. anything like that. Like I don't know. I. just find so much joy in it. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Have you been to. anywhere in Africa I haven't and I. really want to go. I've like I've seen. so many videos and so many of my friends. have gone and it just seems so cool. Yeah, I I've I've talked about this. before on the podcast, but I'm sharing. it because it's naturally in our. conversation. I went to Rwanda last. year. Wow. And Rwanda reveres gorillas. So. literally every time there's a new. gorilla in Rwanda that the community. comes together and they name it and they.

have this whole ceremony for it. And so. they've had these. gorilla sanctuaries for years and so. same as what you're saying, there's no. fences or walls or whatever. It's. basically the mountains and you take. treks into the mountains and you. discover gorilla in their natural. habitat and there's families. So we. followed we I went 3 days and one of the. days we discovered a family that had. like 20 gorillas in it then we. discovered another one and you get to. see the babies and the adults and it was. easily one of my favorite things I've.

done in my entire life and. it was just the most magical experience. because you're truly in nature. The. animals are in their habitats. You're. going into their home. and they're going to res- they're so. respectful and let you do your thing and. at the same time you get to learn about. them in this really intimate way. It was. beautiful to just see how they took care. of the kids, how the kids played around, how they were defensive if we got too. close. Like, just everything about them. and. the guides that we had said that you can.

also go and walk. So, this was walking. with gorillas, but they said you could. go walk with elephants, too. That's cool. And me and my wife have been talking. about doing that. We're like, I'd love. to go walk with elephants. Like, how. cool would that be? And so, there's all. these incredible experiences out there. and, you know, whether it's a local. safari or or whether it's being able to. go there and have this experience. I I. definitely feel And my other team. Someone on my team's been talking about. going to see the great migration, which. is what So, the easy version of it I'm. giving a very bad explanation, but just. to make it relatable for everyone, it's. basically what happens in The Lion King.

when all the wildebeest are like. running across. Like, so that's the. great migration where they're like. stampeding across the stampede where. Mufasa unfortunately dies. Like, that. moment is what the great migration is, and it happens every single year. That's. so cool. yeah. Anyway, I'm I'm getting carried. away, too, but No, I mean, it's so easy, too. Yeah. It really is. Yeah, and it's magical to think that. these things exist and you can go and. witness them or even watch them online. or on a documentary or whatever, you. know. Well, at the San Diego Safari, they're.

literally like with the southern white. rhinos and the northern white rhinos, it's like one of one of them is going. extinct, and they're literally figuring. out through stem cells like how to bring. it it back. It's so so wild and so. interesting. And hearing these people. talk about it and and all of the steps. they're going through with scientists. and zoologists and literally everyone to. help, you know, bring back this species. of rhinos. It's like, this is so cool. and has nothing to do with anything that.

I do in my normal everyday life, but how. interesting is that to just hear and and. see and. like what? That's crazy. But, I don't. know. I just think that that's so cool. I love it. I love it. And I hope you. just keep pursuing and following all of. these things that you think are cool and. you know, you're it's not that you don't. know yourself. I wouldn't say that you. don't know who you are. I just say that. you're you're firmly on that path. Yeah. Like you're on that path of. self-discovery and you're doing it at a.

perfect time in your life and you're. taking every one of the right steps. Like, you know, it's not that you don't. know who you are or you're confused. You're just you're just taking those. steps and and all of it's going to. become more and more clear as you. continue to take more steps. Yeah. this part of the journey with me because. I'm hoping. that in a few years time you'll come. back. Yeah. and then you'll be like, "Jay, I figured. this out. I'm doing this.". my favorite things that I've decided. Yeah. Yeah, and I and I hope and I hope.

they'll change again and you know, I but. I I'm glad that you came and shared this. part because this is the hardest part to. share when you're not sure and you're. figuring it out. And I'm glad that we. had the opportunity to capture that. today. Yeah. And I'm really really appreciate you. sharing that with people because it is. the hardest part to share when you're. like, "I don't know." I'm not quite. there, but this is where I am now. Yeah. Perfect. Charlie, thank you so. much. No, thank you. on the show today. And we end every.

episode with a final five. And these I'm. going to totally ruin these because I. enjoy doing that. But you're meant to. answer them in one word to one sentence. maximum, but I will probably ask you to. expand because they always lead to more. thoughtful answers. So, all right, Charlie. Here's your final five. The. first question is, what is the best. advice you've ever heard or received or. even given to someone? This is probably. the only thing that keeps me sane. Whether it's good or bad, everything. happens for a reason. You can't control.

it. Mhm. And that's something you hold. on to, it sounds like. Yeah. Makes me feel like I'm not going. crazy. When have you used that the most? You can expand beyond one sentence. I. mean, when I feel like I have no idea. what to do next or I feel like. everything's coming crashing down, this is important because it's helping. me get to the next step of my life. And. as much as this sucks right now, I need. it. And some of the worst parts where I. I feel like I'm at an all-time low,

that helped me get to that next step. So, next time I'm I'm feeling like that, I know how to I know first I can get. myself out of it. And second, that, you know, maybe it's not that big. of a deal. In a year, not even going to remember it. Absolutely. Love that. All right, second. question. What's the worst advice you've. ever heard or received? Probably that I need to. say yes to everything because you don't. know when this is going to end. Mhm. Sometimes you just need to say no.

and take that time for yourself. I'm so. glad you brought that up. So many young. creators here that just overwhelm. themselves. And it's. you're doing a disservice to yourself. Like, give yourself time to figure out. who you are. Mhm. And I think you're so right. Like, I've. I've said this to a lot of people, too, that. it will only end when you want it to. Like, nothing can end if you're if. you're alive and you're creating and. you're building, like, things just don't.

end. And I think we use the end as a. scarcity tactic or a fear tactic to get. more out of someone or to get the most. out of it right now, not realizing that. someone could take a break for 3 years. if that's what they wanted to do and. come back even stronger and bigger and. better and whatever. And I just don't. think we allow. people to have that space. And I think. it's really unhealthy for anyone to. think that, "Oh, if I'm not don't do. this, I'm going to be irrelevant or. whatever." It's like, actually, if. you're an artist, you could take time. out and come back in years from now and.

create a masterpiece. Yeah, I mean, the. first like. 3 years of my career, all anyone was. saying was it could be over like that. No one's going to care about you. And I. spent so much time when is it going to. end? Everyone keeps telling me it's. going to end. Like. do I want it to end? Maybe I want it to. end. Maybe I want a break and it just to. all be over and go back to my normal. life. I've taken breaks. I've taken step. backs. I've done everything that was. coming to me at the moment. And it's.

like. letting whether the people that are. watching you are going to stay or leave. dictate every move you make. Those. people that really care about you, they're not just going to leave if you. stop posting for a month or a week or. however long. Like put your own. mental state first. Yeah. Yeah, because if you don't put. your mental state first, then it's. definitely going to go away. Yeah, you're going to get burnt out and. then no one's going to care cuz you. don't care. Exactly. Or you're not going to be able.

to put anything out. Like, you know, and. if you look at it that perspective, it's. like, yeah, you just keep pushing and. pushing and pushing. You lose yourself. and then you have nothing to share and. then you've definitely, you know, lost. out. Now, really, really great answer. I. love that. Question number three, what. is the craziest. rumors you've heard about yourself? One. that made you laugh and one that made. you cry. The ones that make me laugh are. probably. the ones where I'll like I'll seem super.

I'll see like blind items about myself. And it's like she did this crazy thing. at this party and it was wild. And And I. was like, didn't even go to a party. That's so like. Like where did you guys come up with. this? I wasn't even there. Um so those ones always make me laugh. when they're like so not true. I just be. like, okay. It's crazy. Yeah. I I It's funny you. said about not being at the party. Like. so.

I I officiated Ben and Jen's wedding. last year. Mhm. And there was a guest. list that was printed. And the guest. list just had everyone's name on it. Mhm. And everyone was like asking me. like, "Oh, did you see this person? Did. you see this person?" I was like, "They. weren't there.". Yeah. Like it was a really private wedding. Yeah. But it's like everyone assumes that all. these people were there and now that all. these magazines have printed it, everyone assumes that it was just this. big celebrity wedding. It's like, "Well, it wasn't. It was just a really intimate. friends and family wedding.". Just makes me laugh like you guys.

Yeah, it's just like. pulled this out of nowhere. Nowhere. Like it was just crazy to me. I. was like, "How do you make this up?". Like, you know? And so, there was no. official guest list printed externally. All right. Yeah, and then one that kind. of like got to you or if there was one. that like made you more emotional or. things that make you more emotional in. general. Like. Things that make me more emotional are. definitely ones that. try to display my character. in a way where, you know, I. I don't want to defend everything that I.

do. I don't want to defend every rumor. that comes out about me, but it's like. to think that people. think I'm capable of doing. these things that, you know, are. sometimes so horrible or, you know, they're especially when I was. like. 16. 16 was really hard for me and I. would hear these grown adults every. single day, "Charli did this. Charli did. that. Charli did this." I literally It.

was actually right when I hit 100. million. I think I was at the lowest. mental state possible and I looked so. happy online. And it got to the point where I was I. was like, "I'm not doing this anymore.". Like I physically cannot do this. Like. it got really dark to where I was like, "I don't even want to be here anymore.". And I I back to those times and the. grown adults that put 16-year-old me in. that mindset.

And I'm just like. Like you guys have kids now. Like. You guys are are grown. And first of. all, never gotten apology through a. direct message, never gotten apology or. anything besides if it was for other. people or that they want something from. me. And I just like. I wish that they could see what they did. to me and how truly horrible they.

treated me. And like what if that was your kid? What. if What if that was you? How would you. feel? And like I'm so proud of myself for. getting myself through that. Cuz that really like. depending on how I responded to that. could have changed the trajectory of my. life, whether I started to cope in. unhealthy ways or or harmed myself or. did something that, you know, wouldn't. make these people feel bad. Like.

I'm just very glad that I have the. people around me and also got to give. some credit to myself was able to get. out of that. Mhm. I can't I mean even just hearing. you talk about it like it feels so hard. and heavy and like I can feel how. intense it could have been. Like what. got you through that? Like what was it. that because at 16, I mean you don't. have a lot to pull on. Like what gets. you through. all of that especially being around, you. know, now your family's more used to it.

So everyone has a bit more. Doesn't make. it easier. I'm not saying it makes it. easier, but people are more aware of it. Yeah, for sure. But at that time it's. like right at the beginning. You know, it was really hard for a long time and. especially at that point I showed myself. in a very specific light and. didn't want to let anyone know it was. getting to me and then I would go and. and cry online and and I think back to.

that and. I think it was the people that I had. around me. Like it was getting to the. point where like people were coming to. my house to check on me. Like it was bad. and like I don't know if these people. that did this like I think they know who. they are but are ever going to see this. like first of all, I think I deserve an. apology. Second of all, not that I need. one because I'm content with how it. happened, whatever, but the fact that. there's no accountability for those. people, but there was so much. accountability for a 16-year-old, I.

think is so wild. And there's so like. honestly, the hardest stuff to deal with. was the people that were grown adults. that were like just ripping on me every. second of every day. Like 20 videos. Like what? I now look back and I'm so. disgusted by the fact that these people. like thought that that was okay. It's so wild and I'm just I'm very. thankful that I had. my friends and my family and.

enough in myself to want to get through. it and come out the other side and show. these people that they can't ruin me and. I have more to show people than what. I've done so far. That's so powerful and it's so No, it. really is. It's so powerful to hear that. and it's and it it breaks my heart. hearing it too because. I totally get what you're saying in. terms of just like when you have kids we.

live in a world that wants to prioritize. mental health, but then when we take. people apart, whether they made a. mistake or not. Yeah. we're not mindful of their mental. health at all. Yeah. And it's almost. like if someone's made a mistake or. maybe not even made a mistake, it's. almost like well, now we don't have to. treat them as if they have mental. health. Yeah. At all. Or it's like people loved me. because I wasn't perfect and I was. authentic, but then anytime I would mix. up my words or make a mistake or do.

anything outside of what was okay for. these people, it was like Yeah. Well, I. hate her and everyone should hate her. and she's a horrible person because of. this. And I was like, but what did I do? Like, it was so hard. to come to terms with the fact that so. many people hated me. Mhm. And I was. just doing my best. I was like, but I I don't get it. Like, all I do is. try to please everyone around me and. they're not happy. Like, how do I.

how do I do this? I'm never going to. win. And, you know, that's really hard. Like, I give myself so much credit for how I. handled this stuff the best way I knew. how. Like, so wild. If you ever doubt how tough you. are, you just got to remember. 16-year-old Charlie cuz She was a beast. Yeah, that's so tough. Like, that is. really, really intense. That is really, really intense. How have you dealt with. that feeling of like trying to keep.

everyone else I know you've talked about. it before the idea of like trying to. keep everyone else afloat and you want. to kind of let go of that pressure. Do. you feel like you've let go of it or do. you feel like you're letting go of it? I. think I am in certain aspects, but also. leaning into it a little, you know? Like, maybe not what the internet wants, but. what does my family want? What do my. friends want? What does my boyfriend. want? You know? Like, those people. What do my true fans want? What do they want me to put out that. would make them happy? Cuz I'm doing it.

for these people. And. maybe if I'm feeling a little bit burnt. out right now, I really think back to. well, this is the reason that I started. doing it, you know? But, also. understanding that I have to listen to. myself and what I need. Yeah, figuring. out that balance, which I don't think. I'll ever truly get the hang of because. it's always changing, but at least acknowledging it. Mhm. Mhm. All right, question four and five. Last.

two questions. What's something new that you're trying. to learn this year or something that a. skill that you're trying to develop? I. want to get better at packing. I love that. like traveling. travel so much, yeah. Yeah, and it's such a stressor for me. Literally, every single time before I. leave for a trip, I will have. a little mental breakdown, full like. tears, everything. It's a It's another control thing and a. very.

obsessive-compulsive. thing that I do because I like to have. my stuff around me. I like to have my. things. I like to have. everything that I could possibly need. even in my purse. I have everything that. I could possibly need for if I go on a. 3-day vacation. Like, it just causes me. so much stress that I would like to be. able to take a. overnight trip. Mhm. and just like pack and go without. worrying so much. Like, that would be. the dream. Yeah. That's a great that I. think that's a great skill that I wish.

everyone was taught how to do. Definitely, there are great packers and. there are bad packers and I'm a bad. packer for sure and I get that. Do what. my wife does. My wife just takes six. suitcases. She just does My sister, she will go places, pack like an hour. before. She's like, "Only brought one. shoe." Yeah. How? How do you do this? This is insane. Yeah. That's amazing. I love it. All. right, great. Charlie, final question. Fifth and final question. If you could. And you can take your time with this. If. you could create one rule or one law.

that everyone in the world had to. follow, what would it be? Lead with empathy. Don't be so hard on. every single thing, every situation, everything, no matter what. Like you. never ever know what someone's truly. going through. Even. you can ask me what's wrong and I could. tell you one thing and maybe deep down. it's something else that I'm embarrassed. to tell you about. Like. you just never know the struggle that.

someone's dealing with when they're by. themselves. So just be a little more. empathetic. I feel like COVID. really, you know, caused people to react. fast. Just take a step back, you know? Hear people out. Just calm down. Calm down a little bit. yeah. It's so needed for ourself and. others and it's amazing how many of us. we all know we need that world. But it's almost like the system and. society and the way it works is set up.

to make us not be that. Yeah. Right? Like we all want that, we all say. that and then something happens in the. press and then everyone jumps on it and. like it just And I have to say that to. myself, too. Keep yourself in check, you know? Definitely. Charlie, I love how this conversation's. been so fun and deep and like. random and unique and I love that. because that's what all of us are, right? Like I think if you try and have. a conversation that's just deep or just. cool or just whatever, it doesn't work, but when you just get to know someone.

360, it's it's a bit quirky, it's a bit. funny, it's it was super thoughtful and. insightful and I'm so glad that it was. truly you. I hope you felt that way. Yeah, definitely. This was refreshing. for me. Good, I'm glad and thank you so. much for trusting me and being here and. I'm so grateful and everyone who's been. listening or watching, whether you're. walking your dogs because I know you do. that, whether you're at the gym, whether. you're driving to and from work or. whether you're editing a video right. now, I want to say thank you to you for. listening and I hope that you're going. to share your highlights of so many.

great insights, thoughts, just. reflections I think that Charlie shared. with us today. Make sure you share the. ones that stood out to you. Tag both me. and Charlie as well, whether you're. using TikTok, X, or Instagram, cuz I. love seeing what you related to and what. you connected to. There was so many. parts today I felt when I was listening, I was like, "Oh, I get that. Like, I. hear that." And I want to know what you. heard and what you understood and what. you learned. Uh Charlie, thank you so. much again. I hope you'll come on many, many more times. Yes, thank you for having me. Seriously, this was.

really nice to be able to have the space. to talk about anything. Well, you're. always welcome. Thank you. welcome. Thank you. If you love this. episode, you will also love my interview. with Kendall Jenner on setting. boundaries to increase happiness and. healing your inner child. You could be reading something that. someone is saying about you and being. like, "That is so unfair, cuz that's not. who I am." And that really gets to me. sometimes. But then looking at myself in. the mirror and being like, "But I know. who I am. Why does anything else. matter?".