Big Sean ON: How To Manifest ABUNDANCE, SUCCESS, & HAPPINESS Into Your Life | Jay Shetty
Hey, I don't often do this, but I'm. going to give you a note on how to. listen to this episode. I've never done this before, but I had. to do it because of how powerful. everything Shawn said was. The first. thing is, watch out for the subtleties. of what Shawn is saying. Mhm. Everything he's saying is experience, it's realization. So, you have to look. out for the subtlety. Don't just go, "Oh, yeah, I know that. Kind of have. heard that." Or, "No, no, no." It's it's. focus on the subtlety of the. application. That's step one for.
listening to this podcast. The second. thing is have fun while you listen to. this. Appreciate it, love it, let it flow. Uh, but definitely look out for the. subtleties. I hope you enjoy this. episode. Hey everyone, welcome back to On. Purpose, the number one health podcast. in the world. Thanks to each and every. single one of you that come back every. week to listen, learn, and grow. Investing in your mental health, investing in your mental fitness,
investing in your relationships. That's. why you show up, and you know that one. of my favorite things is listening to. your comments, reading your reviews, and. trying to figure out what resonated with. you. I'm on Twitter watching what you're. tweeting. I'm on Instagram stories. seeing what you're tagging. And today's. episode is a special gift from our guest. and myself to you because I don't think. we've had an episode that has had more. requests for a part two than today's.
guest. And that is not an. understatement. This is the most. requested part two that we've ever had. on On Purpose in the last three years. And the guest is none other than my dear. friend, someone that I met for the first. time on the podcast last time. Not only did that couple of hours create. a deep lasting friendship since, it's. created this desire to serve together, to have a brotherhood together, to.
create impact together. It's none other. than my dear friend, incredibly. talented, someone who needs no. professional introduction, big Sean. People have been waiting, crying, asking. for this. Yeah. And you've been so. generous and kind. We've been talking. about this ever since we did the first. episode. Yeah, we needed to do part two. It's. been like on our It's been on our to-do. list, you know? Absolutely, and we're. doing it. And I just I I just want to. let people know like off screen like, you know, I knew you were deep Mhm.
before you came to the show last time. I. knew that you were a deep thinker, you. worked on yourself, you have this. incredible relationship with your mom. who's influenced you so deeply. Yeah. But I didn't realize just how much of a. brotherhood we were going to have and. what a connection we were going to have. Right, right. And I didn't realize how. much people were going to love seeing us. together. When I saw the response and. you felt it, too, right? Yeah, of course, I felt it like the. people who are into me were just,
you know, blown like the interview, the. whole interview. is the only interview that I've been out. in public and people are like, "Yo, I. saw the the Jay Shetty interview. Like, I saw I saw I heard the interview. I saw. the podcast." Like, literally every. other time I go somewhere, you know, somebody approaches me like that. So, the impact is unbelievable, you know? That's what we do it for, right? And. since I came and linked up with you, we've had dinner at your house and Lemy, you, Janay, your wife, we all just been. like kicking it. So, it's cool to It's.
cool to deliver part two. I feel like. it's needed and necessary, you know? Yeah, and part two means there'll be a. part three and a part four, so we'll. keep going. So, there's no no limit, but. Yeah. Yeah, I want to thank you for. just, you know, saying that because even. your community that I got to connect. with Yeah. Yeah, for sure. Your fans and. your audience are incredible. Like, I. just saw this whole new group of people. connect with my work because of you, through you. Yeah. And vice versa, too. Yeah, and I was just like, I didn't. realize that all these people would.
would care about the things I'm talking. about. And so, I want to thank you. I. want to thank your community. I want to. thank your audience who just showed me. so much love, who they may not have even. known who I was, but thanks to you, they. they made a connection. a mission to be better, you know? They're on a mission to work on. themselves. And the whole world is going. through so much right now. It's crazy, you know? So, that's one of the things. I've been focusing on. I just been like. really. focusing on mastering myself more, still. putting time into myself, just trying to. be.
the silence and still in amongst the the. noise and the chaos. And then when. things are still and stagnant, to know. when it's time to move, you know? I'm. really trying to find that balance. It's. like the yin and the yang and how. there's like a little dot of each in the. parts of the yin and yang. It's like. that's what my life is trying to be. Like trying to be the stillness in the. chaos and the movement and trying to be. the movement in the. stagnation of things, you know? I love that. Trying to be the stillness. in the movement.
and trying to be the movement in the. stillness. And are you saying external. or internal? Like how are you how are. you learning to watch that in yourself? both, right? So, it's like the external. and the internal are so connected, right? So, I just have been realizing. that it it most of the things that are. external start internally, right? So, that's what I use it starts with. internal. That's why I start my day with. meditation, you know? And the fact that. we went through so many meditations last. time we we met up. Man, that was so. helpful because I learned. I meditate every morning. And I like to.
ask you, like what does meditation do. for you like when you do it? Like what. does it do for you? This this as we did. last time, so. I'm trying to figure out which which. ones everyone's going to see first, but. either way, Big Sean and I did a brilliant Men's. Health collab to talk about the power of. wellness and meditation. It was historic because it was the first. time Men's Health are doing a train like. me, but based on meditation, ever. It's. always been physical. Right. And so me.
and you got to do this. cool, man? It's so cool. We got to do it. together. It's awesome. And so I love that and you know, we. worked on that together. And I have. three different types of meditation. So. one type of meditation, breath work, is. for my body. Yeah. So if I'm feeling. like my body's tired. Mhm. or I'm feeling like my body needs. energy or my body needs to relax, Mhm. I practice breath work. Yeah. I then do visualization. So if I'm. going into a scenario that causes me. anxiety or fear, Mhm. I will visualize not the perfect.
outcome, Mhm. but the perfect process. So I'll visualize myself doing that. process. So for example, if I'm about to. speak on stage to thousands of people, I. won't visualize people clapping and. thinking you're amazing. I'll visualize. myself walking up those steps onto. stage, Mhm. walking back and forth on stage, looking at the audience in their eyes, Connecting with them. connecting with. people in their hearts and souls. So.
I'll visualize that. It's important. It's so important. And then the third. type of meditation I do is mantra. And mantra to me is what connects me to. the universe, connects me to God, connects me to my soul. It's what. connects me to my service to the world. And so mantra's my. third. So I practice all three every. morning and each of them give me a. different. practice and different benefit that I. need it for, if that makes sense. Yeah, it makes total sense. Yeah. I. change my meditations up frequently from. I do mantra meditation sometimes and.
sometimes I do just guided meditations. that are specifically for me, maybe for. that week, things I'm really like not. necessarily trying to accomplish, but. things that I put in my consciousness, things that I want to approach. uh right, but more importantly, it just. gets me right for the day, man. It's. like Like I said, it's like taking a. shower like after you work out and you. take that shower and you feeling fresh, like that's what it does for my. consciousness, my energy, and things. just flow better, you know what I'm. saying? I feel like I'm literally. lifting my vibration up to a higher.
place of like just to be successful, you. know what I mean? And it all starts. right there for me. And you can't do it. a right or wrong way. There's no There. is no right or wrong in doing it. The. fact you take the time out to just uh be. with yourself, to breathe. Your mind is. going to race all over the place. sometimes. Sometimes it doesn't, sometimes it does. You bring it back to. your breath, you bring it back to. maybe whatever you're listening to, and. just the fact that you take that time. out to breathe and to spend that time on.
yourself, you're going to feel a. incredible difference every time. It's. like a menu. Yeah. In the sense of when you go to eat at a. restaurant, you don't want to eat the. same thing every day. Right. So, one day you're feeling like, "Oh, I. need a little bit of this." So, one day. you need a little bit of that. And so, I. think we have to look at meditation as. like, "Okay, well, maybe I need to do an. anxiety meditation today.". Yeah. Or maybe I need to do a connection or a. forgiveness meditation today or an. empathy. And I think we're living at a. time right now where you can choose. whether you're on YouTube or Spotify or.
wherever you are. Right. has some phenomenal meditation mantras. and meditations. We actually just did one where we I led. a meditation and she was um sound. healing at the same time. It was like an. experience. seen that. I know. We You know, it was our first. time doing it, so we were trying it out, but it's something that. you know, we wanted to just test out and. try, and people really enjoyed it and. benefited from it, but. it's so many different ways of getting. that energy out there like like that,
right? So, yeah, there is no right or. wrong way to do it. It's just. you know, I realized that to. it's the richest thing you could do for. yourself. You know what I mean? And when. I say that word rich, I don't just mean it like money, right? Because. you could be rich in a lot of ways. And. I have experienced people who are rich. in money and still broke in a lot of. ways. Broke meaning broken, right? But. to me, the richest thing you could do for. yourself is to not only just make.
yourself a priority, but to take that. time out to be in the best position you. can be in, right? And to not be so. caught up on what you want. Just to kind. of put the attention out there because. when you're so caught up on what you. want, it's so specific onto something, right? It's like I want this new blue. mug. I want this new blue mug. But at. the same time, you're holding that. vision of that new blue mug, it could be. a a a green mug, a yellow mug, a gold. mug that's sitting there waiting for you.
that's just as good or even better than. this mug, but you are you're closing out. all those possibilities. So it's. important to you know, one of the things. I do is I don't get so specific with my. meditations. I just kind of say. for the greater. for whatever is best for me or what's. the greatest, you know, for my. happiness, for my joy, because that's. where the real richness is. You know. what I'm saying? We've seen. people who have all the money in the. world who have. committed suicide, right? Or you know, lead singers of groups, you know, we.
talk about Chester or. you know, we talk about um Anthony. Bourdain. All these different people. who, you know, from the outside looking. in, you would never guess, you know what. I mean, that they're going through. something. And everybody is going. through something. You know, that's. important as a society that remember. everybody is going through something. We. talk like we don't. care what people are going through or. like, you know, they're not going. through something. Everyone's going. through something really, really. important right now that's really could. be really, really hard. And even if they. show it or not. And uh.
I think that when you when you take the. time to create a rich life for yourself, uh that is the best thing you could do. because when you take time to work on. your. internal or your external, it kind of. takes the focus off trying to trying to. worry or have anxiety about the things. you can't change and realizing that the. things you can't change can't change. you. Mhm. You know, so you get to that you get to. that that that point. of uh being able to go through anything.
It's like having armor on. You know, you're going through the storm or having. like layers on. It's like they can't. even get to you for real. Every time I. hear you talk, I shouldn't be surprised. that you just constantly drop bars cuz. that is what you do. But literally, there were like there were like seven. things you just said that I want to like. piece apart. Uh. one of the things that I think you just. mentioned, which was so powerful, was. just you were like, "I don't I'm not I. don't get specific." Yeah. And I love. that. I think that's actually such a. fascinating thing because I think so. much of what we're told today is, "Be. specific about what you want.
Mhm. Be really specific about it.". Mhm. And the challenge is when you get. too specific into that extreme, Yeah. then you can't see what's right. there in front of you that could be. better. Mhm. be a different way. Mhm. And I've always. thought of it as like you have a. projector screen in your head, which is. your imagination of what it should look. like. Right. And then you have reality happening. here. Mhm. And you keep looking for this. projection and you miss out, like you. said, on the on the thing that's right. there. And so Yeah. I love the idea of not being specific.
because it releases you Mhm. from your. own insignificant goal. Yeah, it does. Right? It releases you. If I if I got. everything I ever asked for, Mhm. I wouldn't be here today. No. Because my goals were way too small, my. ideas were way too small. Yeah. And the universe and God and. energy had way bigger plans for me than. I had for myself. I actually saw the. interview you did with Lauren London, and she was talking about surrendering. to the universe. You do. You have to. surrender,
and you have to realize that, yeah, okay, and if you are specific, well, then just always make sure in that, you. know, specification that you put, and. more. Or, and I'm open to whatever. possibilities are are also available, or. what other, you know, options there are. You know, if you are specific, because. we can be specific somewhat, but it you. can't just be too specific and leave it. there, like you were talking about. You. know, you could say, "Hey, I want to. have the number. podcast for, you know, that talks about. mental health and all these things,
right?" But, you know, this this this. specification of that it it's it's even. bigger than that. Yeah. You know what I mean? Your your. your show everything you do is is way. bigger than that. You know, and it's a. but you're open to all of those. expansive options. So, I just hope. people realize that like whatever you. want in life, first of all, wanting. something is acknowledging the lack of. it, right? So, remember in our last. interview I talked about God gives you. what you ask for.
So, you have to really understand that. it's, you know, I kind of don't say I. want anything anymore. I don't say that. anymore. I say, "I desire, or my intention." You know, I. don't say I want it because I'm just. acknowledging over and over that I don't. have it. And I I don't want to match. that vibration of not having it anymore. So, instead, it's, you know, this is my. intention, my desire, and I put myself. vibrationally on that frequency of. already happening, already being there. And that for me works. You know, I don't.
know if that's works for everyone else, but you know, try it. If If If life. isn't uh going exactly how you want it. to go, which, you know, is 99% of us in this world, try it that. way. That's powerful. For me, that hit. right there, because. I've heard people talk about what want. means before, but the way you explained. it. Mhm. when you want something, it often. can remove gratitude. And that doesn't. stop you from desiring, and that's what. I love what you said. You say, "I.
desire, I intend, or my intention is.". It's not that you don't want to pursue. or grow or evolve. It's just that the. word want. as you correctly said, makes it feel. like almost a sense of ingratitude for. what you have. That's right. And the lack of it starts. eating away where you're chasing now. versus pursuing. I think of the. difference between the word chase and. pursue. Is there a difference? Chase feels desperate. It feels like.
fleeting. It feels like if I don't have. it, I'm incomplete. I want this. I'm I'm chasing this. It's. like, okay, like get I get that. And you. know, especially in the the industry. we're in, it's like, yeah, it's great to. have that hunger. You know, it is good. to have that, but it's never cool to. just be desperate. Like it's kind of. like just always like uh realize those. small things can make a big difference, especially when you're when you're. manifesting something, you know? Yeah. I I think that's great advice on. manifestation. I think that's really. powerful, and I liked what you said.
about. what you said about gratitude, though. Yeah. Yeah, tell me how important that. is to you. Like how how to how often do. you practice like gratitude? Cuz I wake. up every morning and I'm like. thank you, man. Thank you, God. Like. while I'm still half asleep, you know. what I mean? Because bro, like we're on. the blessed side of the spectrum. Just. the fact that we get to wake up. Yeah. I. think gratitude is a daily, multiple. times a day practice for absolutely. everything. I was saying earlier today. to someone that.
if something went wrong today. I would tell everyone about it. Mhm. But. if something went right today Right. probably wouldn't tell anyone about it. Right? Right? Like so, if if everything in my. schedule went to plan, no one would hear. about it. Mhm. But if everything in my. schedule went not to plan, I would tell. everyone, "Oh my gosh, my flight got. delayed. Oh, and then I like missed. eating my lunch. And then I was late for. this." And I would tell everyone about. it. does that mean? Yeah, what does that mean? It means that. we are not noticing the greatness and.
the gifts in our life when everything. goes to plan and we don't share that. You never go to someone, "Oh, it was. amazing. Everything went to plan." Like. everything Like you wouldn't you. wouldn't say, "Oh, my flight was on. time. That's amazing." We expect We. expect things to happen well. Mhm. And. when you expect something to happen. well, you stop feeling gratitude for it. You stop feeling like, "Well, actually. I'm really fortunate that this happened. on time.". Yeah, and it makes it more pleasurable, right? Absolutely. got when you got that gratitude and you. you know, you feel just better about it.
Like, "Yeah, man, like. Yeah, and and and I think also gratitude. for everything from the smallest things. Like to me, something I practice with my wife that's. it came naturally and now I see it being. beneficial, but if she's like helping me. out with something or she does the. tiniest thing, being able to be grateful for that. rather than thinking, "Oh, well, you're. my wife. I expect you to do that.". Right. think the word expectation and the idea. of expectations create a really. unhealthy relationship with ourselves.
and with others. Right? What? Yeah, setting expectations, that's. like. the recipe for disaster right there. It's like. you know, you got to just first of all, the gratitude and then somebody know. that they're I I That's why every every. almost I think every night at least that. I can remember, every night that I work. when I'm in the studio or working with. people, I always tell my engineer like, "Man, you did a great job. You did great. working.". You know, you could just see that they. are wanting to keep doing a great job.
Everyone who works with me like, "You. Man, you're doing a great job." Like. And that from just like my managers and. every down to my assistant to every. person who's involved in my life to my. family members, my friends, I'll be. like, "Man, you're doing a great job. You got to keep it up." And it just is. it's great to and I mean it, too. I'm. not just saying it because it's the. same. No, I mean it. If I didn't If I. didn't think they were doing a great. job, I wouldn't say that, you know? I I. would just be like, "Do better.". But but when they do a great job, you. have to recognize that and not set. yourself up for expectations cuz that's.
that's a recipe for disaster, man. It's. like expecting anything out of life, you. know, even expecting to wake up. It's. like you can't even expect that. That. doesn't happen everyone. Yeah. You know, so. uh that's one of the one I read the book. The Four Agreements and that's one of. them. Uh I think one of them was to not. have expectations or something like. that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like also what you. just said, whatever you recognize in. someone, they'll repeat it. Mhm. And it.
took me a long time to realize that if I. make someone feel bad for something they. don't do well, they actually get scared. to try and do it right. Right. If you make someone feel guilty. Oh, yeah. for something, they actually. get more scared. So, I used to do this. My wife's the best example where I got. this wrong for a long time. Mhm. When my. wife didn't understand how to, you know, what I wanted for my birthday or. something like that. Oh, wow. feel This is years ago when we were. dating. Like I don't know, like I don't.
know, maybe like 8 years ago or. something. Okay. And I would. tell her like, "You don't You don't get. me. Like you don't understand me. Like. that's not what I wanted." Wow, that's. harsh, man. So bad, man. So bad. But I always. thought that if I said that, then. hopefully she would change and she would. get it about how serious it is. Yeah. And then she told me years later. that that just made her more scared and. fearful. to try and get me a gift on my birthday. Wow. Because she just felt she got it wrong.
all the time. Mhm. And so we think that if we keep telling. people they're getting it wrong, then. they'll get it right. No. That doesn't work. If you don't take the. time to explain and to express and. communicate and articulate what you. really are looking for and why and where. that comes from. If you don't do that. work, you can't expect someone to read. your mind and understand you. No, you. can't. And we expect that so much from. our partners right in relationships and. everyone. We get attitudes with them and. it's just like like you said,
they don't know what you're going. through, you don't know what they're. going through. And on top of that, we're all just doing our best out here, man. Like when you if you honestly ask. me like. that's what that's usually my answer for. almost like how have you been doing? It's like I'm not I'm doing my best, you. know, and we all are doing our best in. these times, right? The world is going. through so many things at once. You know, I was talking to Sadhguru and. he was telling me about how the soil is. so messed up nowadays, you know, like. we're getting 40%.
of. the amount of food that. the amount of nutrition we used to get. from food is we get only get 40% of that. now because of the soil has not been. replenished, right? And that. you know, the population has gone from 4. billion to 8 billion people from 1960 to. now or 9 billion now and soon it's going. to go from 9 billion to. 13 billion in you know, the next 30 some. 40 years. And they're saying that at that point if. we don't replenish the soil.
and take care of the oceans and many. other things that the famine is going to. be. not only at a a crazy crazy level we've. never seen, but it's you know, food. won't even be available. Wow. And or or. affordable. And you know, I was I was. asking him like, man, how do we like. how do we replenish the soil? And one of. the thing there's a lot of ways that you. know, I can talk about that another. time, but one of the things I was think. he was saying that you know, as humans.
we're supposed to go back into the. earth. Mother nature, mother earth, we're supposed to go back into and. replenish the soil, you know, and enrich. the soil. And I was thinking how. sometimes we like, you know how we have. like caskets and we like fill our fill. our bodies, our shells with. you know, whatever it is, the chemical. to make us last forever. But it's like. we're never going to dig each we're. never going to dig I'm never going to. dig my grandfather up from his grave. It's like I. he needs to be replenished back into the. earth because if you think about it. that's just polluting.
the earth at that point. That's almost. like trash on the ground when you and no. disrespect, you know, I don't mean that. in any disrespectful way. I just mean in. a scientific way. It's kind of like a. matter that doesn't dispose, you know. I'm not trying to. I I get what you're saying. You see you. see what I'm saying because it is a very. sensitive thing. I you know, it's to. talk about my relatives or even my. grandfather who I love very much. But. what I'm saying is it would have meant. just as much as he would have disposed. back and became part of the soil in the. earth. Mhm. You know what I mean? And. that's something to really pay attention.
to as the population grows and the space. gets smaller and smaller and we need to. build more and more developments over. the soil that we really need to be. feeding ourselves and taking care of the. earth with, you know, what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, so that's that's something. that. the earth is just going that's another. thing the earth is going through aside. from the world you know, the possible. world wars that could be upon us and. besides from all the conflict and the. you know, all these borders and just. countries where slavery is still going. on and.
places is just you know, a. a crazy amount of problems on this list. that you know, that the world is going. through and. we just have to like really really boss. up and be our best selves and. you know, take care of ourselves to. present our greatest version to the. world, you know, to help out any way we. can. Yeah, how. That's why this is so important. Yeah, how how do you process that? I'm. intrigued because I I grapple with that. a lot as well that exactly what you just. said. You look around the world. Mhm. whether it's poverty, racism, war,
potential famine. Mhm. Like, you're just. seeing all of this, and I think a lot of. people look at all of that. Mhm. and they get really overwhelmed. They do. And then they feel. helpless. Mhm. And these are good. people. These are people who care. Of. course. They're empathetic people. Of course. But then when they see all this, they. just feel helpless and they feel. confused and they feel disheartened. Mhm. And then they don't know what to do. or how to help, and then they feel. paralyzed. So, in that situation, how do.
you process this, or how do you think. about getting involved? Because the way. I think about it is I realize that. working on myself, as you rightly said, that's not going to solve it, but it. helps me bring my best to the situation. 100%. Right? Like, if I'm in a mess myself, it starts there, to me at least. It. starts there. Yeah, it's like I'm in a mess myself, how can I remove any mess? The way it. was explained when I lived as a monk is.
that if we ourselves are not trying to. be purified, who are we to help cleanse. anything? Right? So, how can you cleanse. something externally if you're not. purifying yourself internally? It's not. not possible. Mhm. But then when you do that, the. whole goal of working on yourself, and I. think this is what's often missed, the. whole point of self-care is service. It's The whole point of internal. purification is to help detox and. cleanse externally, right? That to me, the whole purpose of self-care.
is the complete opposite of being. selfish. You know, it's um it's actually, like. you said, a service to the world. So, when you were overwhelmed with all the. anxiety of everything that's going on, you're overwhelmed with. your you know, your personal problems. and the world's problems, and just. things seem to be too much. We all go. through this. It is the most important thing to rely. on the faith that everything is going to. be okay. You know, and when you put your best.
foot forward, when you do take care of. the the extra steps to take care of. yourself to bring your best foot. forward, you realize like we talked. about last time. that the faith. that, you know, the reason that we're in. this moment in the first place is cuz we. have the ability. to change this moment. The great part. about being in any situation, and. whether you're up or down in life, is. that it's a amazing opportunity, and you. have the ability to change every. situation, right? So, you know, when you have that faith like.
I talked about that invisible bridge, when you have that faith that you can. just walk across and you don't really. see how you're going to get across, but. you know it's there, and you step on. that off that cliff and onto the to. where you don't see anything and you. still haven't fallen, that's what faith. is, and that's what we have to have in. each other as a society, and realize. that the the more conscious we are, the. more we work on ourselves, the the more. steps we're taking to get to the to the. other side of things. You know what I. mean? Yeah. And how do you think how do you.
develop that? Because when I saw your. face describing the the faith and the. invisible bridge and the steps, when I watch you describe that, I can. see that it's realized. Yeah. it's a realization for you. This isn't. just some idea or something you read in. a book or. it's it's realized. How did you develop. that faith over the years? Because it. was a step-by-step process in being able. to see that. Because I think a lot of.
people, if you try and fake that faith, it doesn't work. Can't work, no. It doesn't work. And if you try and. avoid that faith, that doesn't work. because you need to have something. Like. there was a. amazing study I read recently, and they. said that. people who are involved in wars and. stuck in trenches and stuck in the most. difficult. situations known to humanity. Mhm. when they had false hope Mhm. and this.
is hope not faith. When they had false. hope. they actually felt more dejected. So, if. they had the false hope that we'll be. back by Christmas. and they didn't get back by Christmas, that would break their resolve. Mhm. But, if they believed we won't get back. by Christmas, but we will get back. Mhm. That allowed them to have faith. to actually move forward. That simple. shift of not putting a timeline, not. putting a deadline, not having false.
hope. but having that long-term faith. So, I. wonder how do you how did you develop. that because I think that's something. that's not talked about enough is how is. it developed? I know it's a lot of yeah, I'm like. Through no, through life, through. experiences, through setting deadlines, setting expectations for myself and not. realizing them from. my worst fears. the what I thought was my worst fear, the things that I wouldn't ever ever be. able to. you know, uh recover from, right? Or.
bounce back from. It's like these things. when they even happen, you realize that. okay, I. in the first place should never. uh be mad at a timeline because how can. I be mad at a timeline or something not. getting done or a deadline when I'm on. God's when I'm on moving at God's speed? I'm not moving at my speed. I can set my. intention. I can give my attention to. that intention of hopefully getting. something done and make it done earlier.
I may want to finish something by April. and it might get done in February. You know, I may want to get something. done in April and it won't be done till. next April. Who knows? Because it's. unknown. But, when we embrace that. unknown. which a lot of us is hard to do because, you know, we always like to think about. what's the worst that can happen instead. of what's the best that can happen. I. had to change my whole mindset to think, "Okay, what's the best that can happen?". You know, because I don't even want to. attract what's the worst that can. happen. That's like such a normal saying.
that I'm like, "That saying is whack." I I had to. switch I had to flip it over to what's. the best that can happen. You know what. I mean? Because. I have 100% faith. Just the fact that we wake up every day. that everything is going to be all. right. Yeah. You know, just you know, and and get down to just the simplest. things. I like I love how you talk about. breathing. because you realize how much of a. pleasure it is to to breathe. If you. hold your breath. and don't breathe for, you know, I can.
hold my breath for like a minute and a. half and you don't breathe and then when. you breathe. and exhale and inhale, you realize how. much of a pleasure it is for real to. even just be on be here today breathing. Yeah. You know what I mean? so well said. Yeah, it's just. we would choose to breathe over anything. if you had to be forced to choose. Right. Right? Because everything else. would not be an experience if you. couldn't breathe. Yeah. Right? not promised. Breath isn't promised,
right? Your lungs could shut down. The. The earth, the environment could change. at any moment, you know? Something a. natural catastrophe or disaster could. happen and that could be immediately. taken away from us. Recently I was. reading from. I was reading from Victor Frankl's Man's. Search for Meaning Again. Mhm. And. I think it's called 12 Gifts for Life by. Edith Eger. So, they both survived the. Holocaust. Mhm. And I was reading that. because of what's happening in the world. Mhm. and to me at this time when the.
world's going through these things, the only people I can turn towards. are the people who've lived through it. Right. I often think that those are the people. that can guide us the deepest. Yeah. And. so, when people ask me for my guidance. at these times, I go, "Let's look at these people's. guidance.". Yeah. Because they were actually there. Like Edith and Victor talk about them. being in. the concentration camps, seeing people.
dragged, seeing children abused. Like. this is all happening around them. Mhm. And Edith Eger said something that I. think you'll appreciate so much. She said, "I realized, and I had to realize, that I wasn't the. prisoner, but the guards were the prisoners of. their own conscience.". And she goes, "When I realized that I. wasn't imprisoned, the people who were. being imprisoned by their hatred, and.
imprisoned by their own pain, and. imprisoned by their desire to dominate. and control and to abuse people, that's the real prison. And isn't that. the real prison? Like you hear someone say that going. through the most atrocious, horrendous thing they could possibly go. through, but that was her mindset. She's. still living, she survived. And what a. crazy thing to survive through. Right. And to have that perspective. And she. was saying that it was that perspective, it's what you're saying, that in that.
moment she had to rewire how she saw. what was going on, so that she could get. through it. Yeah. If she just accepted it for what it was, she said she would have lost that. resolve. That's one of those lessons. only life can teach you, right? She was. she That's one of those lessons. Like we. go through these things and these. experiences that there's no other way to. uh. I just hope that people realize when. they go through things, it doesn't have. to be such a traumatic experience, or. such a detrimental thing, or such a you.
know uh. immeasurable loss or anything. It's you. know the fact that you're able to. survive through the day. You know, there was somebody who got. murdered around the corner from. in the neighborhood I live in and I'm. just like Oh, you're saying actually. like right now? yesterday. Wow. Yeah, like in the same neighborhood and. nice neighborhood but my point is is. that we take for granted how much of a. blessing it is to. be here right now and to wake up and be. here. You know what I mean? So.
you know, we we we learn these lessons. and I I just hope that we can pay. attention to the lessons that life. teaches us. You know, because you have to really. make a mental. you have to really. acknowledge what you're experiencing. Or else it just goes in one ear and out. the other. Totally. You have to learn. the lesson, you know? And even that. story you told me, she learned that. lesson while she was in that. concentration camp in the Holocaust. She. learned that okay, you're actually the. prisoner because you're trapped in your.
prison of your consciousness and you. know, you wanting to dominate another. person and trap another person. That is. already a prison. You know, I'm in here. I'm in a cage but I'm the one who's. free-minded and free-thinking and you. know, has faith that I'm going to get. past this and told two totally different. experiences, right? So just embrace the. experience that you're going through and. realize it and you know, we got the. we're leasing these bodies for a limited. time only, right? Like our experience.
here is very very limited so we got to. we have to make something. You know, we. can't just sit around and watch other. people live their lives. We got to go. out and figure out what that means for. us. You know, and how you do that is you. do do the work on yourself. You A lot of. people may be watching this and may not. know what they want to do. They don't. don't know what they're passionate. about. Maybe they just like being on the. internet all day. Maybe they just like. watching movies and TV all day. But you know, you can't figure out. exactly what you're all the way. passionate about until you actually try.
things. Try things out. I had to try. things myself cuz I didn't really know. what I was passionate about besides. music. I had to go jump out of a plane. I had to like try new things, start. working out. I had to, you know, do. hikes and be like, "I really like. hiking. Like, I really like this." You. know what I'm saying? You know, I think that's one of the. things that one of the quickest escapes. people can go to is like drugs, right? It's like an instant escape and a way to. get high. But, man, there's so many. other ways to get high, you know what. I'm saying in life without without using. that. And I don't not even to sound.
like, you know, inspir- you know, corny. or whatever whatever people may think. that sounds, but it's like there are a. lot of ways, you know, to that I've been high off of. life that a drug could never give me. You know what I'm saying? Like, the type. of high that is like God-given, that. only the universe can provide, you know? so well said. That's the best That's the best high. It's so well said. And, you know, it's. in the scriptures it's called the higher. taste. Yeah. Like, the idea that when you it's almost.
like when you look at a child, Mhm. if you give a child a popsicle, the. child will want that. Yeah. And if you try and give a child a. diamond or a million-dollar investment, they won't understand it. And they'll be. like, "I'd rather have this popsicle.". Yeah. But, then when that child gets older and. matures, they go, "Oh, that investment. or that thing could have been more. valuable." And so, what we see as a. valuable experience changes as we.
mature. And it's What you said about. experiences is so true. Uh Raddy and I. recently We try and do something every. month that we do that's random that we. wouldn't expect to do. So, recently we. went to a rage room. Yeah. And I had no desire. What's that like? So, a rage room, they give you baseball. bats and lead pipes and stuff. Oh, I heard about this and you smash. stuff up. And so we went to that, and me and Rod. here are both not angry people. Like. we're not aggressive people in general.
But we were like, we have to go. experiment, because if we don't. experiment, how do you know, right? You. got to go check it out. So, Was it fun, man? hilarious to watch us, because we were. both like, you know, we were both like. not violent people. And so we're. struggling. Then we realized something. really interesting. They told me. afterwards, I wish they told me before. They said if you go there, and you're stressed out because your. boyfriend broke up with you, or. someone's been rude to you, or you've. been offended, then it will de-stress.
you. Mhm. But if you go there when you're not. stressed, the research shows that you. leave stressed. So that was me and my. wife. We We went there not stressed, and. we left with stress. It was actually. stressful to cause rage when you don't. feel any. Uh-huh. And so, but so that was an. experience that didn't go well, right? Right, but you got to try it, though. okay. You got to try it. And so, And you And the fact that you. two were together, it probably just It's. something that you'll always remember, right? Yes. So in in hindsight, it probably was a. pleasurable experience, like. Exactly. It's a funny story now that we.
get to tell and be like, we did this. thing, it didn't work out. But I think. that's what you're saying, that we have. to just experience more and experiment. more, Mhm. rather than turn to the obvious. things that we've seen over society, like as you said, like drugs and. alcohol, or any of these things that can. become painful in the long run. Mhm. As opposed to what you said, hey, whether it's going for a hike, or. whether it's doing this thing, or that. thing, or whatever it may be. So I think. that's That's just really simple, practical advice that anyone can follow. Yeah, and you know, and I'm not judging.
anybody who does that, too, you know, because how how how do we have That's. one thing I want people to remember, too. Like we don't have the right to. judge anybody going through anything. And we sit up and judge each other all. day on social media, or on in real life, too. and. you know, that's. uh. you know, I want to tie that back to. uh another thing that I was talking. about because everyone is going through. something. You never know, right? But. that's not even a it's a it's a very.
conditional thing to try and keep up a. uh image or a uh facade, right? And. you know, even like money is such a. conditional thing. Like, that's why when. I say rich. yeah, you could be rich in money, but. it's conditional, right? So, when that. money goes, you're not even rich. anymore. It's like if you took all the. money away from me or any or anyone. around me or my family, we are at a. point where we we were rich before we. had money. You know what I'm saying?
Because. of the the the rich practices that we. were taught, you know, which is, you. know, to take care of your you know, to. take care of yourself early on, which. which is a lesson that I kind of put on. the back burner and went through. experience life, and life was hitting me. and beating me up. And I had to take a. step back and reaffirm uh the things. that I already knew, but really. strengthen them up. You know what I. mean? And that that is that is being. rich for real, you know? Because money. is conditional, and that's the energy we. have assigned it. It's the currency of.
our. you know, our our uh. I guess you could say just our. countries, our our living the way we. live, but. really, you know, time is like the. currency of our. uh universe, you know? And love is like. the currency of all, you know? Love is. every Love is God, right? So, I know I'm kind of rambling, but. not at all. No, that resonates, man. Yeah, I just want people to get that. though, man, because it's like. try not to judge. You're just wasting.
your You're judging somebody else, you're really just wasting your time. Yeah. You're really just giving somebody. else your energy that's so valuable. Mhm. You could be building so You You be. building a mountain with that energy. You could be building a mountain or a. future or a career or something else and. instead you're really worried about. somebody else or tearing somebody else. down. And that just it just doesn't make. sense. It's so easy to do though. It's. so easy for a lot of people. you a quick boost. It gives you a quick.
boost. Makes you feel good in the. moment. Yeah. It does because I think it makes. people feel good in the moment or you. know who I can't speak for people but I. think. we can get obsessed with validation and. like retweets or like a lot of likes or. like getting a reaction or getting. attention but. you know, one of the things that I've. realized is that people kind of put. morals to the side. You know, they will. literally leak something of you is very. private. It could be a nude. It could be. a thing. It could be something and they. put all the morals aside and be like, "Oh, this is going to get a lot of.
attention. So, I'm going to put it out. I don't care what he's going He doesn't. matter what he's going through." Like, you know, but really and I'm not just. speaking about me. I'm talking about. anyone like that person could be going. through. could be on the edge and that pushes him. over the edge. You never know. So, just. always keep that in mind like. That's huge. Don't don't like it's okay to, you know, want a lot of retweets and want a lot of. love and likes and stuff. We all, you. know, we all do that. We we. we're professionals. So, yeah, when we. touch and communicate with a lot of. people and people show love, that's. great but.
I just wanted to pri- I want to. prioritize that, you know, at least I do. and realize that my morals come first. though. Yeah. You know what I mean? And not And what. you just said is making sure that. whatever is not at the expense of. someone else. You know what I mean? So, you want to act in a way that. doesn't cost anyone else anything. Exactly. Right? That's exactly what I was trying. to say. Yeah, you don't want to make someone pay. for. what you behave as. Mhm. Right? You. never want that and because none of us. want to be in that situation. No. And I think that's what we we disconnect.
with and one of the things I had to. learn. is to learn to stop judging people who. judge others. Yeah. So, I had the judgement of people who. judge and I'd be like, "Well, you should. stop judging." And I'm like, "Wait, but. that is a judgement.". That's a judgement. Like, that's a judgement. And so, it's. like, "Okay, well, well, let me meet. that person with compassion." And. understanding. Yeah. You under- I under- cuz we. understand it. Cuz I do it. Yeah. And we can't judge. We don't We only. have to like, you know, at least I I can. only speak for myself. Like, I I I've.
learned to just stop judging people and. realize we're all humans. If we weren't. here to learn something or if we were. perfect, we wouldn't even be here. We. would already be on our next on the next. wave of, you know, existence or whatever. Yeah. comes next, you know? Absolutely. What's. what's been the most recent thing You. were talking about learning life's. lessons. What do you think's been the. most recent life lesson, big or small, that's come across your path that's kind. of stayed with you or been on your mind? I just wanted to because.
you know, we always talk about learning. lessons through life and people think. that they have to be these huge big. ones, but sometimes it's just something. everyday. But, what's it been for you? Has there been anything that's stood. out? Yeah, to have fun. Nice. Yeah, I see. To make everything you're doing fun. Period. Because we're here for such a. limited time and when we see somebody. pass away that's close to us or someone. we idolize, our heroes, our family. members, our friends, whatever, just, you know, you got to realize that, "Okay, I do work, but I need to make this fun.
because. that is the key to. happiness, right? And I feel like that. is to me. the only thing that really That's real. success is when you're happy. So, you. got to have fun with whatever you're. doing. Like, you have to And if it's not. fun, you got to make it fun. Or, do. something else, you know? Even if it. pays your bills or anything, like, you. got to like. if you just approach it like that, I'm telling you the whole Something that. may be so depressing to you can. completely change. That job you may have.
been working on. I've been doing this. since I was 11 years old, by the way, making music, you know? And obviously I. want to do other things with my life, like how I mean you were saying, I want. to write a book. I can't wait for that, man. Yeah, because, you know, I've learned so. many lessons like from you or from. Deepak. You know, I get to sit with. Sadhguru and. my mom especially. I used to get to sit. with Jenay. I get to sit with all these. amazing I get to sit with Marie Diamond. I get to sit with a lot of people who. know so much. And that I know that it's one of my life.
purposes to to put that information into. you know, and all the experiences I've. been through, all the testimonies I've. seen, all the just magic that I've. witnessed in my life. You know, that's. the reason I want to write a book. I'm. not doing it because oh, it's a cool. thing for your career to do like write a. book. Like I feel like I have to write a. book because it's like one of my. missions for humanity. I want to read that book, man. I I I I. think it's fascinating hearing about. everyone's journey to how they started. going inward. Yeah. Right? Like that's what's.
fascinating. Right? Like we always books. are always written about the journey. outwards. What did you succeed? What did. you achieve? Where did you get to? But. to me, books that are about the journey. inward, we need to tell those stories. because those are the journeys we. struggle to take even more. Yeah, and. those are the and those are the journeys. that are a little bit more untold, right? Yes, and unseen. Yeah, unseen that we. need to relate to and especially my. people who listen to me like I I feel. like I really need to do that and but. that is one thing I've learned though to. just to go back to what you said is like.
to have fun with it. Mhm. Make sure you. have fun with it and make it fun. Like. bring whatever you think is fun to. whatever you have to do. Like if you. think, well, I think that playing video. games is fun. Well, then bring that to. work somehow. Like figure out a way to. like incorporate that or figure out a. way to balance that into your life. somehow. Like you can't let go of the. fun fun of anything cuz then there. everything just gets depressing. Yeah. You know, you get wiped out and you're. not even doing a service to anyone at. that point. Yeah, and I think that's the interesting.
thing about. It's a simple lesson though, right? It's a But that's what I love about it. because it doesn't have to be this deep. profound lesson like. Yeah, usually the simple ones are the. are the are the good ones, yeah. Yeah, like like for mine it's been. prioritizing rest. Mhm. Like I love prioritizing rest and. refuel. Like one of my favorite things. to do like That I need That's a That's. something I still have not mastered. rest, right? Like. Deep rest. deep rest, like letting. yourself just have this deep silence, stillness, calmness, whatever gives that.
to you. I find like being able to. One of the things I really do enjoy. doing and and I think it's fun and. that's why fun is such a wide word. Uh-huh. is um doing like a sensory. deprivation tank. Oh, yeah. when I'm sitting in a sensory. deprivation tank, all my senses are off. Yeah. It's actually a beautiful. experience. For me that's deep rest and. that is fun for me. Yeah. Because I'm no longer like dealing with. any of the challenges or stresses or. pressures. I'm able to just be Yeah, so.
inside the. you're it's magnesium in water. Yeah, that's right. float for anyone who's never done it. before. You can go in there for a half. an hour, hour, two hours. It's pitch black. Yeah, it's dark. Some of them if they're. a bit bougie, they have the uh The. lights. the lights, the music, like a little bit. of like. yeah, moody lights, moody music. Uh-huh. Uh. but the idea is to just not let your. senses be triggered. Mhm. And I find that's what I crave is. letting my senses no longer be.
overexposed or overstimulated. One of my favorite things to do is look. out into the distance. Mhm. To watch sunsets, to watch the. sunrise, to just look at the sky because. I find it's the least overstimulating. thing in our lives. When you look at. your phone, you're overstimulated. You. switch on the news, you're overexposed. Everything's overwhelming. You got to take that time for yourself. Correct. I love to do anything that. helps me understand myself, that helps. me underwhelm myself, you know, that. helps me Unwind. Un- unwind, yeah,
unwind myself. That That's what I crave, and I've realized that that's my reward. to myself. It's not just a um luxury. that that's necessary. It's a part of. richness. It's a part of richness. It's a part of. success. It is. Um and I think that the. mentality that I've experienced and that. I've always had is like. you have to like stay on it. You have to. stay on it like and almost to a point. where I feel like I didn't deserve rest. sometimes. I didn't I just I didn't.
deserve it. Like I'm not almost finished. with my stuff. I got to keep going. I. can't you know, but that was totally the. wrong That was me coming from a place of. desperation and not a place of knowing. and having faith. Because you know, rest is one of the. many joys of our life, man. Going to. sleep, having that good sleep. Like. those and you know, by the way, that's. the moment a lot of times when we're in. that deep sleep, those those are the. moments that a lot of visions and a lot.
of inspiration and a lot of ideas are. transmitted to us and. you know, we're just a vessel. So, you. know, that we we sometimes we go to a. higher place when we're sleeping and our. at our most relaxed state, right? So, I have been learning to get rest. I go. to sleep kind of weird times, but. especially when I'm making music like I. go to sleep at like 3:00 or 4:00 in the. morning, which is It's music too. You know what I mean? But. it is nothing like getting some good. rest, man. Nothing like it. But what you. just said.
deserve it. And you And people deserve. it. People will think that they don't. deserve rest or you know, they work two. jobs and all these things like you. deserve that rest, man. And like. longevity is better than anything. You. can burn yourself out and go double. shifts, triple shifts, don't need sleep, only need two, three hours of sleep. All. that. Get your rest, man. Get that rest. Get as much rest as you need because. when you fully rested, that's when you. can really make real waves in whatever. industry or whatever dream you have, whatever thing you got going on, you.
know? Yeah, I was actually just about to say. that. I think that's the most powerful. thing you said there. Mhm. As you were. sharing that, the idea that we don't. give ourselves permission for things we. don't deserve. Mhm. So, we don't give. ourselves the permission to rest if we. don't feel we deserve rest. Mhm. And a lot of us don't feel we. deserve rest. We don't feel we deserve. fun. We don't feel we deserve joy. And. so, we don't allow ourselves to have. that feeling.
And as you were saying that, you used. that word deserve, I was like, I just want everyone to. stop. Everyone who's listening right now. to this episode or watching this. episode, to just stop and think, what. are you not. feeling like you deserve? Yeah, people. feel like they might not deserve real. love. I'm a I don't deserve a partner. I don't deserve the rest. I don't. deserve to go out and have fun. I. haven't been getting enough work done. Like, that's all crazy. None of that stuff is. connected to each other, man. Like, take. care Take care of yourself first and.
foremost and watch how more beautiful. your life unfolds. Absolutely. I want to. ask you something though with on the. flip side of that, Mhm. you know, I've been thinking about. recently this idea of. how do you do things that are good for. you even when you don't feel like it? Because you don't always feel like doing. things that are actually good for you. Right. And so, we try and avoid them. because of how we feel right now. Right.
How do you find yourself doing that with. the gym, with meditation, with. everything that you're saying, whether. it's in the studio? How have you been. able to go and get over that initial. feeling of I don't want to meditate. today. Or I don't want to sleep early. today, or I don't want to work out. today. How do you work through that. voice in your head? When it comes to. self-care, it's not this you can set a. schedule, but there are times where. you're going to have to wake up earlier. You're going to have to get right to. something, right? You're going to have. to maybe meditate later on in the day. You may not even get a chance to, but.
that's the beauty of first of all, that's the beauty of the short. meditations that me and you went over, like the 2-minute meditations, right? It. doesn't have to be 15 minutes where you. know, cuz I like I take a thing I do. things where I like write my goals down. I do this, I write my intentions for the. day, I met I write I meditate for 15, 20. minutes. Then I sip my tea, you know, I take time. like I take an hour to myself. And a lot. of times I don't always have that, right? Sometimes I do it later in the. day when I do have time.
And the days that I don't have time to. do that, I'll be like, well, I'm at. least going to do this. There's a bare minimum. And if if it's a. 2- or 3-minute meditation, or. to be honest with you, there have been. days where. I was completely exhausted and did. nothing. And honestly. I deserved those days, you know? There. are days where. you turn your phone I had a day that. like not too long ago where I put my.
phone in the drawer. I had to leave it. I didn't pick it back. up till like midnight. And when I was. about to go to sleep, and I didn't go to. the studio that day, I didn't do. anything. I just needed time to myself. You have to listen to yourself. And when. you listen to yourself, you have to ask, well, why don't I feel like doing this? Why why who doesn't want to take care of. themselves, right? And maybe you just. need some time to just be lazy, man. That's okay. Yeah. That is that is okay. But it's the. fact that you know better. When you know. better, you're already in headed in the.
right direction. So, when you when you. don't take care of yourself, right? When. you don't work out or you don't. meditate, you're going to be like Ah, man, I don't feel I I I I feel like I. should have kind of, you know, yeah, yeah, Yeah, yeah, yeah. and it'll eventually get you right back. on track uh. if you're a disciplined person, right? Yeah. So, which I advise people to try. and be disciplined with the things that. give you joy. Mhm. You know? Those two. things don't always You don't feel like. they go together, but that's beautiful. but you got to remember having fun is a.
serious thing. You know what I mean? Yeah. It is. You got to be serious about your. fun. That That is actually it. Yeah. We We. got there. That That was the idea of how. you strike that balance. Yeah. You got to be disciplined about. your joy. Fun is a serious thing. For sure, man. And I think that's what we lose. We go, "No, fun just needs to be completely. random.". Mhm. And then, you know, joy needs to be completely. random. Yeah. it's that.
concentrated, focused. creation and development of that. Yeah. That builds that in a life. And at this. point in your life, you know, we we. talked about this last time. We talked. about your journey. Mhm. We talked about. where you got to, the reflection you. had, the mountain you climbed and then. looked around and was like, "Well, is. this it? Like this, you know, Yeah. at. this point in your life, what have your new dreams, heart space. been like? Like what's been going on in. your heart and mind about who you want.
to be and what you want to do and and. what you want to create? Man, I've really just been like, "Okay, how can I impact the world at this. point?" Cuz I'm in a position, right? I. have a platform. I've done a lot of things I wanted to do. um. musically, right? I've experienced like. so many beautiful things and. I remember all I wanted was a song on. the radio, right? But I didn't limit. myself to that, right? By just being so. specific. I always was like, "I want a song and. whatever else I can get, you know,
whatever else comes with that, and. uh so lately I just been. thinking, how can I. impact the world? How can I use my. platform to change the world and look. back and be like, wow, that was. something that meant something. That's. something that my grandkids can look at. and say, man, granddaddy really did. that, you know, and uh make that impact. to people or listeners or anyone that's. tuned into my frequency, you know what I. mean? How can I impact them? How can I. make the best use of this opportunity,
this life I have, this body I have? That's that's kind of where my. motivation has been at. So I put that. into my music, I put that into okay, or. getting my book together, I put that. into. you know, since these recovery. restrictions are up, it's kind of like, how do I want to see people live? What. experience. at Coachella this year. Yeah, Coachella's coming up. Yeah, like. what experience do I want to give. people? Yeah. You know, and also to not take. away from what makes me happy. Mhm. And. you know, that's being with the people I. love. Mhm. You know, just figuring out.
how we can change the world and aligning. my people, my team with that, and. you know, I'm looking forward to just. living life. I'm looking forward to. starting a family at the right time, you. know what I mean? Yeah, and just. got to time that. Yeah, we've got to. It's all on God's time, you know what I. mean? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah, relationships are deep, boy. They are deep. But the But that is uh. That is to me like. where I'm at in my life. Mhm. You know. what I mean? I'm not really trying. I'm. not in the same place I was when I was a.
teenager, when I was in my 20s. It's I'm in a whole different way of, okay, how can I impact the world? Yeah. You know what I mean? Uh with with. the opportunity that I've been given, with this platform I've been given. Yeah. And that And that's such a. brilliant acceptance because for so many. people when they get up the first. mountain it becomes about the second. mountain. Mhm. And then the third mountain. And. then the fourth mountain. And they They. keep climbing mountains. Yeah. And it doesn't change how they. feel. And so for you to already have.
that realization and go the real. mountain I want to climb is the impact. and the service and the the joy and the. happiness. That's that's a beautiful. thing. And we were talking about this. earlier offline but about relationships. And you know, your relationships. obviously with Janelle was something. that you've been investing in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Like it's been a. it's been a commitment. It's been an. investment. Obviously we've spent time. together and she's been an amazing guest. on the show as well. And I actually met. her first before I met you. Uh and. She was the one who told me like you got. to meet And she's incredible like you.
know, and when I found out you two were. together, I was like this makes so much. sense. Mhm. But but walk me through whatever. you feel comfortable with. Walk me. through some of the. the journeys and and what it's meant to. create a conscious partnership. And. what's the real work that goes behind. that? Because you know, we all have our. baggage and our trauma and our issues. from our past relationships, our. parents, so many things. Mhm. What. what's gone into crafting and what. you're trying to craft? Wow, that's that's really deep too about.
Let's make sure we touch back on like. traumas and Yeah. Um. things that we inherit from our parents, you know, because we inherit I'm I'm. actually I'll do that. We'll talk about. that now and then I can go to that like. One of the things I've had to do in my. life is clear. some of the blockages that I've had and. you know, all in different ways, all through. different people. And that's something. that I may want to get more detailed in. with people too because people are going. to say, well, how do I clear these. blockages within me?
And there are many, many ways and many. people that people's that I've met with. that have been able to, you know, help. me and you know, I used to have a. worryment of money was one of them. Um. just like you can inherit. your parents hair or you can inherit. their eyes or you can inherit their, you. know, I remember my dad used to be like, "Oh, I used to smile just like you did, you know?" it's like you can inherit a. smile. You can also inherit someone's. fears. You can also inherit someone's. beliefs that aren't in alignment with.
it, you know, your own and you feel very. conflicted. Uh you can inherit. uh just a lot of you can inherit uh. pain. You can inherit racism. And you can be like, "Well, I'm not a. racist person." But I know I know. someone who's like, "Bro, I'm I'm not a. racist person." But then they call every. black person a kid. You know, "This is good That's a good. kid." And I'm like, "You got to watch yourself a little bit, man. That's like you know, just pay. attention to that cuz you don't refer to. people who are who look like you as a. kid.".
You know, you might refer to somebody. who's a kid that's the same age almost. the same age as you, you know, so it's. like. you inherit these things. You may not. even realize it, right? And it's. important to just do the work on. yourself because to push the next It's. like also breaking generational curses. It's like I broke one of the blockages I. had and now my family. we are living. we are getting more of our dreams out. My mom is doing things that she never. thought she would do. My dad, my. brother, you know, um.
we grew up in debt essentially and we I. had to break that debt. That was one of. the blocks I had to break was uh. the block of money of not be scared to. have money, feel like there's a scarcity of money. and it's not, you know, it's it's all. just energy, right? And you can have as. much energy as as needed. And uh. to clear all these blocks, but. um to get back to my point, it is so. important to go through these blocks and. these traumas because when you pass it. on to not only just the next generation,
you pass it on to the people around you, your friends, your family, you know, you. are you are the company you keep. And. the more like-minded and better you are, the the better everyone around you is. including your family, right? And you. guys can have the opportunity to do. anything that is possible, anything you. want, any any empire, any business, any. ownership, things that you didn't even. know was imaginable, but it all starts. with you working on yourself, and that's. the importance of.
you know, the traumas. It's almost like, well, why would I want to correct, you. know, if cancer runs in our family, breast cancer runs in our family, why. would I want to correct that? Well, you. want to correct that so you don't pass. it on. Mhm. And, you know, the vibration. of cancer is a low vibration, you know. what I'm saying? So, you know, uh it's. important to take care of ourselves and. get rid of that trauma, but, okay. That. was beautiful, but I'm so glad you went. there. Yeah. I'm so happy you went. there, because that the idea of being. aware of what we're inheriting Mhm. is. so important, especially when you went.
that we are aware of we inherit what we. wear and how we think and how we look, but then. how we behave, how we communicate, how. we talk to people, how we think about. people, how we think about women, how we. think about men, how we think about Oh, that's a good one, how you think about. women and men. You know, that's another. thing. Or or them, how you think about. trans, how you think about LGBTQ, like. just like every just how we think about. other. Mhm. I'm so glad you went there. I just wanted to say that. I'm so happy. you took us on that. Yeah. I can just. imagine like aliens or people from.
another world being like, man, these. people really tripped that they're have. different shades of. skin. They really be like. It's just They really kill each other. over this, like. You know, I've never seen a cow look at. another cow and be like. You're a brown cow, you're a. black and white cow, I don't want to be. around you, like nah, they don't I just. like, you know, and it makes me realize. that like if we. kill each other and hate each other over. things like that or who we love, right? Or things that even have nothing to do.
with us, then I wonder how we would handle a. extraterrestrial or alien or really. something that is really different, like. you know, I always am like, maybe that's. why the the government or whoever. doesn't ever want to really break it to. humanity because who how are we going to. react, you know? But that's a whole. another conversation. What I wanted to. ask you something about relationships. because you go through times where you. don't see your wife all the time. And. how important is distance. in a relationship, you know? Because I. know some people may feel guilty like. not being with their partner all the.
time or maybe even enjoying time away, you know, that that could be a guilt. thing like, "Oh man, I'm really having a. good time by myself." Or also spending. too much time with your partner and. losing a sense of who you are and your. individual self. So, I. as you I I look at your relationship, you guys are are beautiful couple, you. know what I mean? And I'm not saying. that and idolizing that or anything, but. that's just me making a you know, recognizing that. Yeah, it's my friend, yeah. Yeah, how do.
um. how do you balance. the distance in your relationship and is. that necessary? Yeah, I think for us and. and I agree with you, by the way. Like I. don't there is no such thing as a. perfect couple, perfect marriage, perfect relationship. So, we should. remove that idealization. just as just with everything. Just as we. were talking about earlier, I found that I'll take a bit of a. detour, but I find that as humans, we. like to idealize or we like to demonize.
So, we demonize people. We go, "You are. terrible. You're wrong. You're the. worst." Or we go, "You're the best. I. love you and I adore you." And sometimes. the people we idealize become the same. people we demonize when they let us. down. All the time. All the time. And so, we don't have this. ability which what we talked about as. monks was neutralized. How do you just. neutralize everything and look at it for. what it is and look at it for the. reality of it rather than idealize or. demonize. You just just learn to accept. So, Yeah. when I look at my.
relationship, we found that when we. first got married, I'd say in the first. 2 years of our marriage, so my wife and. I have been married for 6 years and next. year we would have been together for 10. years. So we've been together for 9. years now in total. And the first 2 years of our marriage, I. reckon we spent in total 6 to 8 months. apart in 2 years. And the reason for that was because my. wife missed her family in London. We'd. moved to New York because of my career.
and I wanted her to be with her family. to be happy, but I also wanted to be in. New York so that I could build my career. and build my purpose. Right. And so that became a. all valid. Which is all valid. She. wanted to be with her family which I. respect and love and I wanted to be. here. And I said to her I said, I will. fly back every weekend, every month if I. have to, if that's what's going to keep. this marriage together because I don't. think you should give up what you care. about and I'm not going to give up what. I care about. We both should not give up.
what we care about the most because we. care about each other. Can you Oh my. gosh, see one of the things I'm not to. cut you off but people always say. oh you have to give things, you have to. sacrifice so much, you have to let go of. like. No, you can't sacrifice yourself to the. point where it's it's a it's torture. You know, you can't sacrifice yourself. to where you're not yourself anymore. That. You know what I mean? And that's. that's really important not to cut you. off. I just wanted to add that in there.
Dude, everything you just added I'm like. that because that's the fine line. You. just gave the fine line of you can't. compromise when compromise becomes. torture. Mhm. Compromise is healthy. Everyone has to compromise. I may cancel. a dinner or I may reschedule my weekend. Like that's compromise. That's every. day. in tune with yourself. Yeah, exactly. But you you just defined. it perfectly. Like you can't sacrifice. cuz not lead if I gave up the pursuit of. my purpose in New New.
I would have been sad, depressed, and tortured, using your. words. Yeah. And if my wife was. kept away from her family, and couldn't. travel back to see them, because I. didn't want her to, because she had to. be with me in New York, she would have. been tortured and trapped. I don't want that as my loving. relationship. No, that's not a union. Exactly, that's. not a union. And so, what we found is. that we got used to it, but we've got. better at it. Mhm. So, at that time, we got used to.
it, but what happened is we would really. disconnect, this was a mistake. We would. really disconnect, Mhm. we would barely talk, barely check. in, and then when we'd get back. together, it almost felt like we were. strangers again. Wow. And so, that wasn't it wasn't good or. bad, I just think we had to get better, like today it's changed. And so, I just. want to put that out there, that when we. first got married and we did that, I. don't think we had the healthiest. version of distance. And this is my. point, that you can evolve and grow and. learn. And then it was COVID, right? So,
during the pandemic, we lived together. for 2 years, and we saw each other every. day, and that was amazing. It was. actually brilliant, because that was the. first time in our lives that we'd spend. every day together for 2 years, and it. was beautiful. We we loved it. And now, this year, I will have been. away from my wife, when she finally gets. back, uh but she's been working in London, I've been in LA, where where we. currently both live, but she's been We. will have been apart for around 4. months, and maybe we'll seen each other. once in 4 months, hopefully. And we're.
going on this mini vacation together. I feel this time we've both found a. healthier way of being distanced. So, she's in London, because she's working, and that's her purpose. I'm in LA, because that's where my purpose is. Mhm. Again, I respect her purpose, and she. respects mine. I value her values, and. she values mine. And if I had to give up. mine and be there for 4 months, or she.
had to give up hers and be here for 4. months, I wouldn't feel happy because I. know she's not happy. Mhm. And she wouldn't feel happy because. she knows I'm not happy. So, what we've. realized is that in the times we're. apart, we can both be more productive. We get to catch up with our own friends. and deepen those bonds and connection. because we both have more time. Yeah. I find that I miss her every day. I have never texted my wife this much Of. course. We were dating. I haven't called her this much since we. were dating because now it's like I wake.
up in the morning, the first person I. call is her. Yeah. do that. You You She's next to me, right? Right. Uh the last thing at night, I know she's. already asleep in London, but I'm. messaging her messages so that when she. wakes up in the morning, they're the. first thing she sees. Yeah. It adds a beautiful dynamic. And. there's something really beautiful in. the Bhakti tradition, which is based on. love and devotion uh to the universe, to. the divine. And it talks about how love in. connection is beautiful, but love in separation. is one of the most beautiful.
experiences. To want to be back with. your beloved and the person that you. love, that's what all the songs are. about. Yeah, that's what all the songs are. about. the music's about. Like the the missing. of someone, the yearning of someone, the. the separation from a loved one. Mhm. is sometimes where you get to. experience the deepest joy and even. process some of your biggest fears and. weaknesses. Mhm. And that's what I find that when. I'm away from my wife, I have to process. my weaknesses and my fears head-on.
Yeah. And that I find to be joyful. because it deepens my love for her. Mhm. And so, I personally find that distance. and personal time is critical. And the way I define it for someone in a. week because someone may say, "Well, Jay, we don't work like you guys where. we're away from each other for months. because. we live in the same home, we don't have. careers that take us across the world. I. believe and I've I've been planning this. out that here's an ideal 7-day week,
right? Yeah. You should ideally spend one to two days. by yourself with yourself. Even if. you're married, even if you're dating, have two nights a week that are for you. Mhm. Even if you're in the same. house. Same house. Have two nights a week. separate that is for you to listen to. your inner voice. Mhm. That's two nights. a week. Now have two nights that are. together, just you two. Date nights, experiments, events, whatever it is, but just you two so that.
you develop and you water your intimacy. That's four nights. You've got three. nights left. In those other three. nights, one night you spend with your. own friends. So she's with her friends, I'm with my. friends. Mhm. And then the other two nights we're. with a collective group of friends, friends that we share. Mhm. Now you can. make your own ratio of your 7 days, but. notice how the ideal 7 days include time. alone, time with each other, time with your own friends and family, and time with collective friends and.
family. Yeah. If we can't look at our. lives and say we do all of those, it. means we're not watering a really. important part of our relationships. If. I don't water myself, I've got nothing. to give. come up later. And that's what you're. going to feel is or is hurting you. Yeah, what you're talking from is is. from experience. I can see like this. isn't like a textbook formula. This. isn't some This is some experience that. you guys have been through and that you. made it through. So I respect that and I. realize that uh. you know, the crazy thing about being in.
a relationship and having distance. between you is it really can bring you. closer to the one that you're missing, you know? It kind of is almost. I would say almost a a great test to see. how close you really are, you know what. I mean? Because. being like being so far from someone can. bring you so much closer. You can learn. so much about someone. you know, through texting them or. through the phone as opposed to waking. up next to them every day. So, I think. it's beautiful to give each other that. time apart. And that's when you really.
know. that person is still all you want. That. that's that's who that's special for, you know? I definitely been able to experience. that. So, that's that's a beautiful. thing, you know? And uh it's it's a key. part in any relationship. I think in any. marriage the key to it is is having some. distance. between, you know what I mean? And. uh. Yeah. And having someone who you. energetically match with. Yes. one thing that.
That's the most important thing. That's the most important thing right. there. Because this is funny cuz I don't. know how to even say this. say this properly or I don't know. whatever, but I'm going to just say it. like. when you have sex with someone who you. feel are you guys are equally. energetically on the same level, that's. how it's really supposed to be, right? Because in other in in other. ways, I just hope people realize that. because if not, if you're not with. someone who you energetically feel like. you're on the same level with, then that.
person could be taken away from you. It. could throw you off track. It could. uninspire you. It could do all these. crazy things. So, it's important to. realize um. the power of that energy that you have. when you when you with somebody who can. match your energy Definitely. sexually. No, absolutely. And I I'm so. glad you raised that because. so the Sanskrit word for celibacy. is brahmacharya. Now, celibacy in the.
Western world feels sounds like. abstaining from sex. That's what you. think of the word celibacy. Brahmacharya, it translates as the. proper use or direction of energy. When you talk about a poor energy. exchange, when you're just wasting. energy, when there isn't an equal. energetic exchange, Right. that's why we feel drained, we feel. depleted, we feel Or afterwards you're. like, "Oh, this is a waste of my time.". Or like, "Oh, any however you feel.". Like. years later it takes. And but when you.
have someone of equal energy exchange, that impression is so much more powerful. and deeper. And so I'm I'm I'm glad you. brought that up because I guess the. question though is like, obviously when. you meet someone, there we're all at. different stages even in our vibrational. energy. Right. How do you know. because today we live in a world where. anyone can use the language, everyone. can say the word energy, Right, right, right. everyone can use. the word vibration, Uh-huh, right. everyone can use all the. lingo and you think, "Oh, yeah, yeah,
this person like they've been reading. about chakras and da da da da da.". Right? Mhm. How how do you actually know that. someone is of a similar energy. in a relationship? Like how how do you. how do you look for that? Because and I. don't think there's a formula or there's. a perfect science. I'm just saying how. do you look for that or how have you. found that and looked for that? There's only one way. Feeling it. It's simple as that. You can. it's something you feel. And you have to. really be in tune with yourself, right? That's another reason why working on.
yourself is so important because the. more you in tune with yourself, the more. you're able to feel like this isn't. right, right? And it could make sense in. a lot of other ways. You could be like, "Oh, this person is. my ideal of like the perfect person in. my head, you know, like physically." But. it just doesn't Well, I don't care like. you disregard those feelings when you. put that egotistical spin on things, right? Or you put the like the image or. like the expectations or things, check. marks you think you should be hitting, but it's really just a feeling process. And when you realize.
when you know, when you have the feeling. of that feeling like you're just being. productive, you know? Like I'm not ever ever going to like. physically be involved with anyone if if. it's not productive, you know? And I and. I feel like I'm being productive, you. know what I mean? And that's how you should feel with your. partner. Like you feel like you're being. productive, you know? And you feel you. have a good feeling about it. Yeah. Yeah. Anything else is just kind of. like, you know,
you think that you may. fun. Yeah. And fun. And it's fun. Yeah. You know, if it's not fun, productive, and all these things, and you know, if. you feel weird or feel like you're. wasting your time afterwards, then then. that's probably not right for you, you. know? And you can eventually kid. yourself for a little while, but. eventually you're going to. move on or something's going to happen, and you know. Yeah, I think one of the things I look. for in energy exchange. in in every level is the idea of. you know, it's almost like how long have.
your energies been invested together. deeply. Mhm. When my career started to. take off, I would often point to an. achievement. and look at my wife and say, "Love me. for this. Right. what I did.". Right. And then I'd win another award, and be like, "Look at this. Like love me. for this.". And she wouldn't feel anything. She. wouldn't She wouldn't. respect me for like she wouldn't care. about that. Not that she wouldn't. respect me. She wouldn't care about. that. care about that. And She would be happy. for you.
happy for me, but she didn't care about. that. She didn't love me for that, but I. was saying, "Validate me for this. Love. me for this." And then I realized that I. was trying to get her to love me. for what my achievements are, when she. loved me for who I am. Isn't that. beautiful? was the most deepest reminder to me that. my wife's been with me since. when I was in $25,000 worth of debt, when we were 4 months away from being. broke, when I was pursuing my purpose. and no one cared, and I'd five people.
turn up to hear me speak. And my wife's. been through all of that, and she loved. me then, and she loves me now, but she's. never been enamored by the achievements. or the successes. She is always. exchanged energy with me on the level of. she loves who I am. So, she had to love. me that way to remind myself to love. myself that way. And I think that's what. I look at as energy exchange is. does someone remind me to love myself.
through how they love me? Like, does the way they love me remind. me to love myself for the real reasons? And that, you know, that is just. undefeatable. Like, that you can't beat. That's the champion of love. Because you're like, you're teaching me. how to love myself based on what I. actually should love myself for. Man, that's again talking from. experience. I see. Yeah, it's Yeah, it's it's it's real. Like, I've I've been that man that has. wanted the validation of my wife for my. medals and my honors.
And when she didn't give it to me, I. felt frustrated. Because I felt, well, I can get more. attention from somewhere else for these. things. But then you go, but then do I want attention, or do I. want affection? Like, do I want. validation, or do I want someone to. value me? Cuz validation is conditional. It's. conditional, man. And come and go quick. So, like, wears off. It's like a. it's like a new sweater or something, right? Like, you have to eventually wash. it, and it just starts to deteriorate. And.
as opposed to loving someone for who. they are, that's that's more like. unbreakable, right? That's like that. Undefeated. Yeah. Shawn, what have I not. asked you today? What's been on your. mind, your heart? Where have we not. gone? Because I feel like I know it's. hard to say this, but I really do. believe this. Because the last time we were getting to. know each other, where we've gone today, We've gone to some places. have gone to some places today. Like, as. in this is without a doubt, even though. it's hard to say this, it's even better.
than the first conversation because of. our openness, because we have a. relationship, a deeper relationship. today. And so, what the way the places. we've gone to and the things you've said. today, I'm going to have to listen back. to this one. Keep doing what you're. doing, man. Like, the job you're doing. is uh fantastic. Like, I tune into so. many of your interviews. I loved your book. Um I can't wait to. have you write the forward on my book. You know what I'm saying? And. just to everyone listening, man, you. know, I know you're going through.
whatever you're going through, just do. the best you can. Stay strong. Um. don't give up on yourself. You know, that's. me There's no losing, you know, you can. you can maybe think you're losing, but. you only lose when you stop, you know. what I mean? There's no no such thing as. as losing if you don't stop. It's only. just learning and like developing and. and getting that experience and wiser. You know, you're just sharpening a. sword, being more of a master. So, you know, stay strong and everyone, I.
know some people. uh don't know where they're going to. even sleep tonight. Some people are. going through a. real a real crisis in their life. And. just know that I'm not just saying this. to be politically correct or anything. like. I really am sending you guys love. I really am sending you guys like some. light and. uh you know, that miracles can happen in. your life and you accept that, you know, accept plea like accept your miracle. Cuz they happen every every day. And um.
yeah, thank you, you know, it's uh I. don't know what else is new music. That is beautiful. Yeah, new stuff coming out and. yeah, I don't know what else to say. Yeah, I mean, everyone, make sure you go. and subscribe across all of Big Sean's. platforms, whether it's YouTube, whether. it's Instagram, it's Facebook, Spotify, Apple, wherever you're listening. Look out for him at Coachella this year. New music is dropping right now. Is. music dropping around the birthday as. well? I don't know around the birthday, but probably more so around Coachella. Okay, around Coachella. Okay. I don't.
think I got some new music. I'm trying. to see if I'm going to like preview it. there or put it out right before. Got it. Got it. You know, figure it out. We're figuring it out. Me and Jhené have. new music coming too together. So, our. our 2088 project. Yes. We can talk about. that more deeply if you want to go into. it. Or you you want to give him a little. preview? That's you know, maybe me and. her could come and do a special one. together. that. That would be sick. Yeah. Or maybe all four of us. That. would be great. We'd love that. Let's do. that. That'd be so dope. That's another. time, but. cuz I don't want to speak for her. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. You know, that's our. that's our thing together, but I can.
just let people know that it's coming. And what else? I mean, you know, just. keep doing it. And thank thanks for all. the love on the last one. I got to say. thank you for the love on the the last. podcast we did. It was crazy and. man, congrats to you men mental health. on the men's men's health magazine. Is. it. Is men's health, right? Yeah, it's men's health. Yeah. Men's. health magazine. That's major, bro. Bro, bro, it's just amazing. Doing it with you is amazing. Like I. think, you know, you you said that what. we're doing is amazing here, but this is.
energizing. Yeah. Like this is energy. exchange at its highest level because. you you you keep me going too, man. Like. having this relationship with you and. having these conversations with you, that energizes me. It affirms my belief. in what I'm trying to do. Yeah. And so Yeah, I see like billboards of. you everywhere and stuff like calm app. I'm like, yo, J is going crazy right. now. Will Smith and man, that was what a. what a crazy moment that had to be. That was. working with him has been one of the. greatest. Isn't he great? greatest joys in my. life. He's one of the most special human.
beings as are you in in the world and. just He's anointed. He's like has a glow. on him, right? And he really does. Yeah, shout out Will. And it's real. And it's. real. Like he's, you know, him and the. whole family just amazing. But you can tell he's like human. Yeah. You know what I mean? And yeah, keep up. keep up the great work, man. I'll see. you next time. Thank you, man. Everyone. who's been watching at home, what I want. you to do, like you did last time, is. show up on Twitter and Instagram, tag us. on what resonated with you, what. connected with you. There were so many.
incredible nuggets of wisdom today that. Shawn dropped and we went back and forth. and we grappled with and then you saw. our thought pattern and we finally got. there. Like there was like this whole journey. that we went on today and we hope that. this conversation inspires conversations. back at home. When I started making. content, my whole goal was I wanted to. create stuff that you could send to your. friend and say, "This is what we were. talking about last night.". Yeah, yeah. "This is what we're thinking. about." And I wanted to create something. for you that helped you have deeper,
more meaningful conversations with your. friends that you might not always get to. have. So, I hope that this starts. millions of conversations around the. world that deepen your bond with your. friends, your loved ones, that allow you. to have more compassion and love for. each other and the world. And. ultimately, as Shawn's been saying the. whole time today, allow ourselves to not judge, to to. really understand that everyone's going. through something. So, Yeah. thank you for listening to On. Purpose. Yeah. Thank you to our main man, Big. Sean, for turning up today, new music, Coachella, Yeah. uh so much more and.
there will be a part three. So, thank you, everyone. Amazing. Thank you, man. That was dope, bro. Yeah. If you. want even more videos just like this. one, make sure you subscribe and click. on the boxes over here. I'm also excited. to let you know that you can now get my. book Think Like a Monk from. thinklikeamonkbook.com. Check below in the description to make. sure you order today.
