Being Calm is EASY! (Do THIS Micro-Ritual..)

You ever feel like you're just getting. through the day? Like you're checking. things off, but not really feeling. anything? I have definitely been there. I've been traveling, I've been working, and it can feel like. kind of numbing, right? You realize. you're so busy being productive, you're. not actually present. And I had this. moment sitting alone at a restaurant. after a long day, and for the first time. in weeks, I slowed down. Tasted the food, watched the people, took a breath, and I thought, "Why don't.

I do this more often?". And why do I have to wait for a moment. like this to do it? So, today's solo is. all about that. How to reconnect with. your day, your people, even your play. Because you're not too busy to feel. connected, you're just out of practice. We all are. So, let's talk about the little shifts. that bring you back to yourself. >> The number one health and wellness. podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The. one, the only Jay Shetty. Hey everyone, welcome back to On.

Purpose. It's Jay Shetty. Make sure. you've subscribed to this channel if you. haven't already, so that you never miss. an episode. Today's conversation is all about how to. reconnect with your day, and how slowing down actually makes life. speed up. How slowing down actually. makes life more effective, and how. slowing down allows you to move as fast. as you want. I think for a long time. we've told people, "Hey, if you have a.

busy, hectic, crazy life, that's just. the way it is." And then we hope for a. vacation where things slow and calm. down. But the reality is, if we can move. slow to move fast, it can change the way. we think and live. And here are seven. science-backed steps for a hectic day, and the habits that transform it for us. The reality is, we live in chaos. The average person checks their phone 58.

times a day, spends 1 hour 5 minutes on social media, and receives around 46 notifications. daily. Now, if you're like me, times every one of those stats by four. 47% of us can't focus on a task longer. than 2 hours. No wonder we feel frantic, distracted, and emotionally depleted even before.

lunch. But, what if you could reclaim. calm? Not by changing your schedule, but by reclaiming your mind. That's what I want to help you do today. with my seven-step guide to being more. present right now. No retreats, just. real-life practical actions rooted in. psychology. I think for so many of us, we think, "Yeah, presence is something. that I can't even attain anymore. It's gone out the window. I have to wait.

to go on a retreat. I have to wait to be. in meditation. I have to wait to be in. yoga.". And I think that's partly the challenge. We've drawn this narrative that your. life is busy, and you can't be present in it. Your. life is crazy, and that's just the way. it is. And I've done that to myself. sometimes as well. But, I've also found. a way of changing that narrative and. shifting my reality, and I want to share. that with you today. Here's step one. Take five tech breaks.

Now, when I say five, I mean take five. five minutes, right? And maybe you can. do these five times throughout the day, or if not more. Dr. Amita Singh from. Ohio State University found that taking. five to 10-minute tech breaks every hour. boosts focus and reduces stress. So, here's what you want to do. Set hourly. reminders. After 55 minutes of screen. time, spend 5 minutes off devices. You. can walk, you can stretch, you can.

breathe. Suddenly, your attention. becomes sharper instead of splintered. I. think this is one of the issues with the. way we think about meetings. Meetings. are 30 minutes or 60 minutes in our. calendar. Why can't they be 25 minutes or 55. minutes? What are we achieving in 5. minutes in a meeting. that we would lose if we spent that 5. minutes walking, getting hydrated with. water, or looking out of the window.

These are the three habits you want to. develop in those 5 minutes between. meetings. You're going to stand up and walk. You're going to walk and get some water. And you're going to get some water and. go look out of a window. Now, why? When. you're moving every hour, it's going to. be great for your metabolism, it's going. to be great for your body, you're going. to get steps in without even trying. We. all know the benefits of water. We need. to be more hydrated. So many of us are. missing out on the amount of water that. we need to be having.

The window part's the most interesting. When you look into the distance, it actually allows your mind to feel. relieved. Today, everything's up in our. face, our laptops, our phone screens, everything. We've actually lost the. ability to look off into the distance, to give our mind some space. If you look. into the distance, find a cloud, find. the tip of a tree, whatever it may be, it allows your mind to feel open. I want you to try and practice setting. meetings for 25 minutes or 55 minutes.

instead of 30 minutes to 60 minutes. We. all live in this world as if the next. task is life or death, that these 5. minutes are going to change the history. of humanity. The reality is maybe you'll spend 5. minutes all staring at your own laptops. in between a meeting. Maybe that 5. minutes on Zoom is making sure that. people are still knowing when they're on. mute and when they're not. Like we're. not solving anything that's changing our.

lives in those 5 minutes, yet we make it. feel. the stress, the hecticness makes us feel. that we're solving some rare disease. Now, if you are, that's incredible, but. for the majority of us, those 5 minutes. back invested into our mental health and. well-being could transform the rest of. our day. So, from tomorrow, start setting 25 and. 55-minute meetings, and when someone. asks you why, tell them what you do in. that 5 minutes. It will actually start.

to inspire others. It will actually try. start to shift the culture. That's what we're really talking about. here. How do we shift the culture when. the culture has made it so that we feel. we're productive and effective when. every second of the day is fully. maximized and fully accounted for? Now, I believe in living an intentional. life, but therefore I also believe in. intentional breaks. Getting 5 minutes every 30 minutes or 5.

minutes every hour is realistic for each. and every one of us. Studies show even brief mindfulness. pauses reduce emotional reactivity and. improve focus. So, here's what I want you to do. At any. stoplight or right before a meeting, take three deep breaths and refocus on. your senses. You're no longer carried by the day, you. actually pilot it. This is something that I've practiced. when I'm in the back of an Uber, before.

I go into a meeting, before or after I. send an email. If you just pause at any of these. beginnings and ends that naturally. happen throughout the day, before a. phone call, after a phone call, before a. Zoom call after a Zoom call. You use. these micro moments. to just take in three deep breaths. Let's do it together right now. In through your nose. and out through your mouth.

That's your reset. Notice how your body feels a little more. relaxed. Your mind feels a little more at ease. And you don't have to carve out specific. time to do this.

You can actually do this anywhere you. are, wherever you are, at your desk, in your home, while you're commuting. It's a beautiful practice. that allows you to slow down. The way I like to describe it. is almost like when you're watching. slow-motion footage of something. incredible. You realize that that person felt like. they had so much more time than you. thought they did. Have you ever watched. a basketball player in slow motion?

If you've ever watched an athlete in. slow motion, a musician in slow motion, it feels like they have so much time. And even if you've played sport, when you realize you have more time than. you think, you're actually able to do. more with it. But when you're rushed, when you feel you don't have time, don't. we all just make mistakes? When you feel you don't have time, aren't you more likely to trip over? Aren't you more likely to forget your. wallet at home? Aren't you more likely. to send the wrong email, not change the. subject line? That's what happens when.

we're rushing. But when you think you have a little. more time, you actually get to get it right. So, I. want you to trick yourself. When you slow down your breath, when you're breathing deeper, when you're breathing longer, right? When your breath is less shallow. and less fast, you're literally slowing. things down. And what happens when you. slow down? You see things more clearly. Why is there a speed limit on the road?

Why is there a different speed limit on. the road? I remember learning that when you have a. 30 mph speed limit, the truth is because if you hit. a child. or someone on the road at 33, the difference in those 3 mph. could be catastrophic for that person. In 3 miles. And there's a reason why it's there. Those 3 miles could make all the. difference. So, I'm not asking you to slow down from. 33 miles to 15 mph,

I'm saying what if three breaths just. slow you down by 3 mph? All of a sudden, you're not leading to a. tragic event, to burnout, to exhaustion. You've actually saved yourself. So, think about that. And think about. how. you can just slow down just a tiny bit. I think we think about being slow as. being stopped, right? We think about it. as like, "Oh, yeah, I just need to stop. I need everything to stop." It's not. real. It'd be great if you can achieve.

it, but in reality, we're not going to. get there every day or every week. But these micro moments could change it. for us. Number three, chunk your choices. The human working memory says that we. can just about deal with seven items at. once, and otherwise, the overload drops. our decision quality. Here's what I want you to do. If you're staring at a long to-do list, probably over seven things, before your day starts, choose only.

three tasks that matter most and block. them in your calendar. One of the. reasons why our day feels fast is we're. trying to do a lot with little time. Not. realizing that if we try to do less with. a bit more time, not only would we. complete tasks, we would actually have. the ability to move on to the next. You. can create clarity amid the noise and. win the morning before it starts. You. want to get seven done.

At the end of the day, you realize you. only got four done and that too with bad. quality because you were rushing. But what if you just got three done. really well? So well that you won't have. to waste time on them in the future. When you got four out of seven done or. five out of seven done, they were all. done at like 60% effort, 70% effort. So. you got more done, but actually got less. done because in the long term it was. less effective because you'll have to go. backwards and solve the problem you. created. But if you got three things done today. at 90%.

All of a sudden, you're cruising. And you can do the same thing tomorrow. Doing less can actually achieve more. Doing less. can actually be more effective than. doing more. Doing less can be more. productive than doing more in the long. term. But we all get trapped by this. short-term thinking. Thinking that if I. do more today, if I get more done, then that will help me in the future.

Not realizing that well, if I don't get. quality done, the quantity doesn't. matter. Step four. is all about single tasking. Science shows that multitasking reduces. efficiency and increases stress. So here's what I want you to do. When. you're working, silence your. notifications. Close your extra tabs. Set up a 25-minute timer and work with. full focus. I see this often.

with someone who's got their laptop and. their phone and maybe even have an iPad. You have all these devices. They're all. connected up to personal and. professional notifications and you're. trying to do some deep work. You're. working on a report. You're working on a. deck. You're editing something and every. 30 seconds you have a distraction. One. is from your mom who wants to check in. with you and find out what you ate. The. other one is from a friend who wants a. picture that you took at the weekend. The other is from a colleague who wants.

you to reply to the email right now and. the other is from your friend from 3. months ago who's upset with you for not. coming to their birthday. And you're. trying to write a report. How's that ever going to happen? How are you going to respond effectively. to any of those people? The friend from. 3 months ago who's upset you didn't go. to their birthday? You need to connect with them with some. depth and some clarity because they're. upset. You're managing their emotions. The friend who wants the picture, you're. going to have to go through your camera. roll this weekend of 67 pictures you.

took of the same exact pose but find the. one that they like. You're going to send. them three and they're going to be like, "No, there was one with the the ocean in. the background in this color. There was. one where I was posing this way." All. right, now you've lost a bunch of time. looking for that image. Now you've got. the person who wants you to email back. right now but you don't even have. context of what's happening at work. We. invite distractions. when we're trying to do deep work. If you are truly honestly trying to do. deep work, you have to leave your phone.

out of the room. You have to turn your. notifications off and you have to be. locked in. And the problem with us is we. think we'll achieve more or get more. done if we're always connected. It's the. opposite. You get more done if you're. completely disconnected. You get the task done in less time with. more quality, with more efficiency. if you're not distracted. All of us are. multitasking. Now, here's the. interesting thing. Only 2% of the world's population can.

effectively multitask. You know what the. funny thing is? When you hear that, everyone thinks they're in that 2%. But. the truth is most of us are in the 98%. who can't multitask to save our lives. And even if you can multitask, you're. placing so much stress on your brain and. mind to stretch that far that often. How. can you reduce distractions? How can you reduce.

everything when you're focused on a. task? When I'm writing my book, when I'm. preparing for these scripts, when I'm factoring this time in for the. podcast, I can't write if I'm distracted by seven. different tabs. Limit it. Limit it. You will achieve so much more. in your life. I promise you. Give it a. go. Step five, posture reset, mind reset. We've been talking a lot about how the. mind affects the body. We've forgotten how the body affects the.

mind. Upright posture raises alertness, positivity, and slouching actually. reduces energy. So, every hour, stand. tall for 30 seconds. Feel your feet and breathe. I actually. do this before I go on stage. Before I'm. going on stage, I've noticed that I can. be nervous. I still get nervous. We all. still get nervous because I care. But if I slouch, if I close up my body, I actually get more nervous. I get more. stressed. But when I stand in Superman.

pose, put my hands on my hips, pump out my chest, all of a sudden I'm. feeling that confidence. I'm breathing. better. It's not some mental trick. It's physicality. If you're closing up. your shoulders, if you're making your. chest smaller, if you're going inward, you're actually making harder for. yourself to breathe. Making it harder. for yourself to breathe means less. oxygen, means less energy. So, naturally, it works that way. Change your posture. All of us are. sitting around all day. I'm sitting.

right now. If you're sitting in a chair. right now, push back your shoulders. Right? Even feel your arms wrap around. the back of the chair so you can really. push out, even if it's artificial. And. even take your fingers behind your chair. and stretch. Push your shoulders up. right now. Notice if the back of your. head is aligned with your spine or if. the back of your head is actually. forward. Doing that for a few seconds, all of a sudden. you feel your body shifting. You feel. your energy shifting. These are micro moments to become more.

present. These are micro moments. to become more conscious, to become in. touch with our body. Sometimes we're so. lost in our mind, we don't even know. what our body is feeling. How many times. have you had it where a week later you. go, "Wait a minute, why is my ankle. hurting?" Don't even know what happened. "Wait, why have I got that backache? What what happened?" And then all of a. sudden you realize 7 days ago you. knocked it on something or something. like that, but you ignored it because. we're so disconnected. from our bodies and our minds. We have to learn to reconnect our body. and our mind. You will win at life.

when your body and mind are in the same. place. You will lose at life when your. body and mind are in different places. Because here's what happens. When you're. at work, you're thinking about vacation. And therefore, when you're on vacation, you're thinking about work. Inattention bleeds. You can't turn it on. and off. You can't say I don't want to. be present at work. and then be present on vacation, because. you've trained your mind to be absent.

You can't be absent at work and present. on vacation. And you can't be present on vacation and. absent at work. If you're present at. work, you'll be present on vacation. And. if you're absent at work, you'll be. absent on vacation. That's how the mind. works. It only knows how to be where. your feet are or not based on how you've. trained it. Always check in when you. walk into a new space. Practice. 5-4-3-2-1. What are five things you can see? The. shades, the colors, the shapes. What are.

four things you can touch? What you're. wearing, the temperatures, the textures. What are three things you can hear? Distant chatter, white noise, the sound. of your own voice. Two things you can. smell, a fragrance or a flower. And one thing you can taste, maybe lunch. or a mint or whatever it may have been. All of a sudden, your body and mind are. in the same place. Most of us, we walk into a room, our. mind is still in the last meeting, our. body's in this meeting. We finish that meeting and your mind.

goes, "Oh gosh, I wasn't even present in. that meeting." Now we're absent in the. next meeting and our body's in the next. meeting. Right? We're constantly messing. around with this absence and presence. Our mind is absent, our body is present. Our body is absent, our mind is present. When they're both present, you actually. have a better experience of life. Haven't you seen that? I'm sure some of. you who have children, who love spending. time with your kids or love spending. time with a family member, love spending. time with your friends. After it. finishes, sometimes you think, "I don't.

even know where I was. Where did the. time go? Is it over already?". That's because our mind and body weren't. in the same place. When your mind and. body are in the same place, you can. absorb that moment, really feel it, and then let it go comfortably. That's. the beauty of it. When you're present, you'll actually let go happily because. you've absorbed the whole moment. But when you haven't absorbed the whole. moment, you're still trying to hold on. to it and go, "I don't want this to. end." Because you actually haven't been. there the whole time. Number six, use.

time anchoring to calm your mind. When. we mentally fast forward. beyond a stressful moment, we reduce. anxiety and emotional reactivity. So, when you're overwhelmed, ask, "Will this. matter in a week? Will this matter in a month?" When you. zoom out, it re-centers your brain and. regulates emotional overreactions. Now, why does this work? You shift from.

reactive mode to reflective mode, and. you reclaim control over your. perspective. I'll tell you why I believe. this really does work. It's because when. you're dealing with stress, you've now. totally zoomed in. Have you ever had that when you go for a. stressful moment in your life? You. totally zoom in, even if it's the. smallest thing. And now you turn that. tiny thing into a huge thing. Asking a question like, "Will this. matter in a week? Will this matter in a. year?". It allows you to zoom out and actually.

find balance. So, you're not avoiding. it. I'm not telling you to forget about. it. I'm not telling you it's not. important. You want to see things as. important as they are. I encourage people to have what I call a. stress scale in their life. Zero is not. stressful at all. 10 is the most. stressful you'll ever be. Actually, think of an event that is the. most stressful event ever. Your family's unwell. Maybe someone passes away. Maybe you are losing your job and you.

have no money left. Like, that's 10 on a. stress scale, right? I've lost all my. money. I'm broke. I have nothing. What's zero for you? Based on that being the most extreme, what's zero for you? Maybe zero is uh when I'm hanging out on. the weekend and I've got nothing to. think about. Now, when you stub your. toe, is it really a nine? Or is it. actually a two? Now, when you have a. difficult conversation at work, is it. really a nine or an eight? Or is it.

actually more like a four? Does that make sense? When you look at. your stress scale and you know what the. worst thing that could ever happen is, and what the best thing that could ever. happen is, you now look at things in. perspective. The biggest challenge for. us is when we don't zoom out and look at. life that way, everything feels like a. 10. Everything feels like a 10 all day. You missed the bus, it's a 10. You. missed the train, it's a 10. You had a. falling out with a friend, it's a 10. Everything in our life will feel like a. 10.

if we don't have this stress scale. And. we've realized what a 10 actually is. Losing my job or losing someone I love. Having no money, being broke, that's a. 10. That's worth my stress. But actually. everything up until then is probably a. five or a six. All of a sudden I can. deal with it for what it's worth. I'm. not telling you your stress isn't valid. I'm not telling you that you don't have. real stress in your life. What I'm. saying is you want to deal with it for. what it's worth. Right, a doctor would. never treat a stubbed toe in the same.

way as they treat a broken foot. You. just don't treat them in the same way. But we in our mind make a stubbed toe. feel like a broken foot. And that's. where our stress comes from. That's what. creates more anxiety, more tension, and. more pressure because everything feels. like a 10. If you take one thing away. from this episode, I want it to be that. Do not forget that stress scale, make. sure you're really clear on it. Number. seven, switch tasks with a ritual, not a rush.

The brain takes up to 25 minutes to. fully refocus and switch tasks. So, if. you're going to refocus, you're not. going to be able to do it immediately. If you want to go from a numbers meeting. to a creative meeting, your brain's. going to take 25 minutes to figure that. out. If you want to go from a tactical. meeting and a strategic meeting to a. free-flowing brainstorm, it's going to. take 20 minutes to figure out. Rituals.

help the brain reset faster, and this is. research from Harvard Business. Before switching tasks, especially from. work to personal as well, even coming. home, create a micro ritual. Maybe you light a. candle. Maybe you stretch. Maybe you put on some music. Think about that even when you come. home, it can take you 25 minutes for your. brain to switch from work to personal. That's why sometimes the commute is. healthy. I think one of the challenges.

that working from home brought around is. that we actually don't get that 25. minutes. The commute in the morning allowed you. to switch from being at home to being at. work. And the commute home from work allowed. you to switch from being at work to. being at home. Today, you walk up or. down the stairs. You walk in and out of. a room, and you're meant to be at home. So, all of a sudden when your partner. says to you, "Hey, what what are you. doing this weekend?" You're you're still. thinking about the meeting. Your partner says to you, "Wait, you. didn't do this for the kids yet. You've.

got to take them out." You're still. thinking about the meeting. You walk. into work and someone says to you, "Hey, have have you got the report on my desk. yet?" And you're thinking, "Wait a. minute, I just. put my kids' clothes on and like gave. them a shower. Like, you know, where are. we at now, right?" So, our brain doesn't even have the time to. get to where we are. So, now we need rituals to signal to. your nervous system that it's safe to. switch gears. So, what you need to do. is allow yourself to have a ritual. That. could be a word you say. Maybe it's a.

scent from a candle. And this is how I like to think about. it. Rituals are sight, things you can see, scent, things you. can smell, and sound, things you can. hear. You walk into your workplace and you. have music that feels like work. You. walk into your kitchen and you have. music that feels like home. You walk. into your workplace and you have a scent. that reminds you of work. You walk into. your home and you have a scent that. reminds you of personal casual life. And. a sight, you walk into your office, you.

see a quote on the wall that inspires. you. You walk into your home area, you see a. picture of a family that relaxes you. You can use sight, scent, and sound to. act as rituals for transitioning between. things. Number eight, narrate what you're doing out loud in. your head. Naming your present actions. grounds you in the moment and interrupts. autopilot behavior. Try this while. washing dishes, brushing your teeth,

or even walking. I'm brushing my teeth. I feel the water. I'm noticing the mint. I'm right here. You pull your attention out of spiraling. thoughts and anchor it in your senses, instantly increasing presence. Become a. narrator of your life. Talking things. out loud actually gets them off your. chest and out of your mind, where we. feel so much stress. Have you ever had. that? Stress makes you feel. tight-chested. It makes you feel heavy-headed. When you.

talk it out, you get it out of yourself. Remember, you don't need to escape your life to. find presence. You just need to choose it minute by. minute, moment by moment. Pause, slow down, and discover how much. calmer, clearer, and stronger you can. feel. even on your craziest day. Thank you so much for listening. I'm so. glad you joined me. Pass this on to. someone who lives a busy hectic life, and I hope I'll see you here again soon. Take care. If you love this podcast,

you'll love my episode with Lewis. Hamilton. Lewis and I talk about why you. should stop chasing society's definition. of success and how to be more. intentional with your goals. You don't. want to miss it. >> Like it's not about being perfect, it's. about just every day one step at a time. trying to be better, trying to do more. I'm learning a lot about myself. I have. to break myself down in order to be able. to be better.