Before You WASTE Your Life Away, WATCH THIS! | Alicia Keys & Jay Shetty

when i'm making choices. that have a financial incentive. a lot of the times i'll ask myself. if all the money was off the table do. you want to do this i found that when i. when i re-met like. you know 18 19 year old alicia. um. she. really didn't have the time yet or the. opportunity yet to. become.

doubtful. i'll say. like. you know. yeah. you know of course of course we all go. through different moments in our life. and. and we. surely feel doubt and insecurity and all. those things and that's supernatural but. i think she had like. that 19 year old alicia had a certain. confidence about her. that was really sure she knew what she. didn't want she knew who she didn't want. to be she wasn't trying to trying to.

bend too much to be that person. that other people might have thought. would do better for her because she was. very very very very clear. and she hadn't yet had the taste of of. of uh. acknowledgment to. it to. to then start to change or to feel the. need to please or whatever happens i. think sometimes when in different parts. of our life.

we find ourselves in and for me i think. after. after that time. some of me changed in a way and i. realized that now i've found my way back. to where i was then. and i found that to be so interesting. because in a way i started out. more clearly myself and then maybe lost. my way through the middle. yeah interesting and then have found. that i've been able to find my way back. and and when i look when i look at.

myself today and i'm like oh okay. uh i realize i'm most close to the. original me which was probably. you know right before everything started. to pick up take off you know. success and things like that and so. that's that's to me really really. interesting. an interesting revelation and that makes. me smile because in a way i kind of. already had it. yeah. yeah it's it's that's that's that's so. funny isn't it i. realize that it's.

it's crazy to think that. it's almost a process of unlearning. and rewiring and and reconnecting back. to who we were or what we knew and. letting go of all the noise and the. layers. and you talked about in in part one of. the book you talk about. and you say this and when you say it. through the story you share it's so. powerful when you talk about i no longer. belong to myself. and when you said that and and what.

you're sharing around that space the. question i had is. when people say the phrase don't sell. your soul to achieve between. how do you interpret that now like how. do you interpret that in context of. you saying. i no longer belong to myself. um. you know. i think when you when you hear that. phrase don't sell your soul you. automatically assume. that it has to do with financially right.

you automatically assume that you know. okay. you know people might offer you some. absorbent amount of money and to do all. these things that maybe you don't want. to do. and and so automatically you kind of. think financially don't sell your soul. literally don't sell it for a certain. number which is a great guiding light. and i agree with that as well because i. think that a lot of times when i'm. making choices. that have a financial incentive a lot of.

the times i'll ask myself. if all the money was off the table do. you want to do this if you had to do. this for free. tomorrow would you be passionate about. it and to me that's like the equalizing. space and question that really makes. sure that your soul and spirit and heart. is in the right place you know and that. you actually are in love with something. you know so so but but going back to the. point that's not the point i digress the.

point it's beautiful keep keep doing it. be free. the point of what you asked was yeah so. i think when i now when i hear don't say. your soul. i don't think so much financially i. think. more spiritually because there is like. there is a. wealth. and a richness that you have. by. protecting. the beauty of who you are and your. sanity and your wellness and the.

specialness of who you are and each of. us are special in this really beautiful. one-of-a-kind way. and a lot of the times i think. you will find that i found that in order. to maybe ensure. that this dream that i've always had. could be be real or be obtainable or. continue on or whatever i. didn't value enough the beauty and the. and the safety and the and the. importance of my worth and and my and my.

the need of being. good to myself and so in those ways. that's why i didn't belong to myself. because i started to. want to do things from the best. intentions by the way i did it because i. i wanted good things to come from it i. wanted people to be happy i thought it. would make people feel good you know it. was all from the best intentions but i. didn't put myself first in that equation. and therefore in some ways.

you know i i started to not belong to. myself yeah i think that's a beautiful. distinction you've made there between. selling your soul usually being a. financial reference or you know i think. you're spot on that's what we usually. think we go okay that means i'm not. gonna sell out financially. what about it's so much more of an. existential. spiritual question. and and i think that that's a really. beautiful distinction that that are not. a lot of people make. and and it almost feels like the one.

you're more tested on. and then that's actually harder to. maintain because you may still be able. to stick to your passion but i'm. fascinated that since you were four. years old. there were two constants i noticed in. your life so one was and i wanted to. share both of them because i think both. i admire in different ways one of them. was you say you knew that one day you'd. be a singer and you knew that in your. gut since you were four. and and i'm fascinated by how you. not knew that because i think you're.

right i think when we're younger we do. know things but what i'm intrigued by is. what made you trust your intuition at. that age. because i think when we're young. we're more malleable and moldable and. we're more. go along with what society or family or. friends or noise tells us but. you knew but what was it that helped you. continue to commit and follow that. um. um. i didn't feel that.

you know i think that back to this. similar theme about like we kind of. start out knowing. the truth and then we start. learning the lies and the lies start to. get in the way and start to make it. really. or inheriting the lies maybe. and you know and and again it's not. because somebody actually lied to us. it's because. they just told us what they knew. and what they knew was probably not. really the truth either.

and each person has their own truth. anyway and so it really doesn't matter. what other people tell you because. you have to find your own truth and each. each person's truth is different. and so i think that at that. four-year-old place i was very very. clear i was super clear that i didn't. have that interference yet i didn't have. that kind of societal oppression yet. because i was just so pure and so. you know open and my mother has always. been a performer and i remember us doing.

like there were these cute little talent. shows at my little kindergarten and we. would perform together and we'd practice. these different routines and it'd be me. and her and. and she's such a you know she's such a. performer and she's always you know had. such a passion for the arts and that's. what she came to new york to do and you. know so in so many ways i've always said. that i'm i am her. dream. manifested in some way.

and. and so and so she always had that spirit. to her and and i think because that was. her dream as well. she. was excited when she saw that spark in. me too you know and so we just were a. good match you know we just were a good. match so so i think it wasn't until. later that i started to get out of that. you know sweet innocent. that really i think where this truth. lives um. just because you know you start meeting. more people when you start being more.

exposed to different things and and then. maybe you start the doubt creeps in or. the fear creeps in or the you know. whatever else comes in to try to un. unseat us but in that four-year-old. space i definitely knew and there was no. doubt and i'm clear i'm clear about that. yeah and i love what you said there we. we start with the truth and then we. learn the lies we inherit the lies that. inherit the lies i think that's. such a. beautiful statement it's poetic but it's.

so true as well and the the other. constant that i noticed in your life as. i was reading through the pages was your. friendship with erica since you were. four. yeah and when i saw that i'm blown away. by anyone. who can have a friendship that lasts. the changes of life the seasons of life. the. the ups and downs of life like and you. work together right. yes yes. so many seasons. how do you maintain a friendship through.

that time since four years old someone. who's known you. your whole your whole life basically. like tell me tell me what that's like. through the journey you've had of. maintaining a friend who's been a part. of your life the whole way. yeah you know i think it was quite. natural you know we we knew each other. from. very young and and just because we. our fam you know her family lived in the. building that i lived in and so that's. how we kind of connected and met and. then we and then we had similar.

trajectory just meeting up in that way. and then we were reintroduced to each. other. um. later when she was in college and and. our her uncle norman was the one that. said you know hey erica is doing music. and i know you're doing music and maybe. you guys can connect and so we. reconnected because we already knew each. other and and then we. realized how much we. understood each other which i think is. so rare you know it's like i can. literally count on my one hand the. amount of people that actually. understand me and i'm sure.

that and that i understand them and. there's like a real a real connection. there that that's that's so genuine and. pure so. so you know you when that happens you. know that it's rare and it's special and. so from there we just continued to. conversate and and she was you know. really smart and finishing college and i. was just about to embark on this whole. crazy world and touring and you know. and and and and it just the timing was.

just as it was meant to be. and so then we started transitioning. from kind of. all the friend only to the friend and. colleague and growing together in this. in this space and it was very comforting. for me because i it was nice for me to. have somebody that i knew and trusted. and felt. you know close to my age and to my. experience and that type of thing and so. it just was all timing man you know so i. think that for most of it. it was quite. easy yeah you know as i think the best.

relationships are you don't. have to make sure all relationships take. work to maintain to understand to have. the you know communication that's. necessary for them but i think the best. relationships are always quite easy and. fluid and so that was that was one of. them oh yeah that's interesting you say. that the best relationships are. generally. meant to flow naturally like it's almost. like it doesn't it shouldn't have to be. incredibly hard work. right yeah. yeah that's that's beautiful it's it's a.

nice way to look at it because i almost. feel like. we're programmed as humans to believe. like if we're working harder for. something then it's more important. you know what i mean. i don't understand that yeah. we feel like that we feel like if i'm. not working hard then it can't be worth. it like we have that conditioning that. that storytelling in our mind and so. sometimes i feel like people stay in. relationships because it's harder work. and they wear that as the badge of honor. and we see that as like we've achieved.

something today. oh my gosh it's so. no i i you're so writing in fact in the. you know. more recently have i truly truly like in. the past four years to be honest have i. truly said like if it's not flowing i'm. not doing it because i had to finally. understand that it's like this whole. idea is driven swimming upstream. and this whole idea of like it's just. the most difficult thing ever.

and and and yet we still fight for it. and fight for it and fight for it i did. that for so long for so long and and. finally i realized like wait if it's not. flowing it stopped flowing for a reason. yeah it's quite hard it's quite hard. because even you know but i listen even. to you know. two months ago when i was preparing for. the grammys i had i had you know the. hosting. um all of my ideas for that and this one.

very particular idea that i had was. absolutely not coming to life. and i could not let it go i could not i. kept fighting and pushing and finding. another way and i'm gonna find it and i. won't give up on it and i kept on i kept. on i kept and i i you know here i was. telling myself. previously that you know you know if it. doesn't flow just let it go but here i. was back and i said no this is worth it. i'm gonna fight for it i'm gonna find it. this they won't defeat me i'm here i'm. gonna do it i mean and and finally it. took my husband.

one night he was like alicia i. i'm watching you and and. this thing is consuming you i mean you. can't even think about anything else. because all you're working on so hard is. this thing that it's obviously not. coming together. i think you should let it go. and he finally had to bring me back to. like my own. promise to myself. yeah wow it's it's so crazy that you. touched on that because i'd actually. taken an excerpt out of the book that i.

wanted to to read to the audience. because it it just it just really like. it was like a punch in the gut when i. was reading it in a good way. and it was exactly this piece so. this is reading from the book more. myself. and alicia says. oh wait i'm going to find the exact. piece that i love here we go. sorry it would be much better in your. voice but i'm reading it out because. i've picked it but it's uh. at the time i wouldn't have described it.

that way nor did i truly understand that. there was a flow with my name on it but. from this side of life i can see how. every moment every experience every. pivot even my supposed missteps have. been life's way of getting me where i. have always been meant to go. rather than resisting the current i've. learned to surrender. uh and you know i i thought that was. absolutely beautiful so i guess my. question there is like how do you give. that because i i agree with you on both.

sides and i see both in myself too. and and i want to learn from you here. how how do you. know when too much is too much for. yourself and i don't mean as a principal. i mean as a principal for you how do you. know when it's worth the fight because. there are times in this book where you. have to stand up for your values you. have to believe in what you're doing and. there are times where you're like. actually i just have to surrender. how do you find that balance between. those two places. man i.

i still struggle with that. you know. i i sometimes i'm so clear. and i know yeah you know this isn't it. and i i have to let it go it's better to. let it go sometimes i'm so clear. and a lot of times i. it takes me quite a while and i find. myself like i just explained you know. having to remember and relearn what i. thought i already knew. and i thought i already knew i didn't. want to fight or have to go against the.

flow. you know um so sometimes it's quite. clear. and sometimes it's not it's not as clear. to me and i guess that's okay you know. that's okay but. i know that if i'm if i feel it if i'm. if i'm feeling i know i definitely have. learned to trust. really much more that. that that. sensation in the gut you know that thing. that kind of just. really. tells you.

no. you know or or yes you know whatever. whatever it is i've definitely learned. to pay a lot more attention to that and. that that is a part of. the the piece of what you're asking like. how do you know when it's when it's. enough or you know what's your own. personal. kind of barometer there but. you know i think that i think that. that's pers that's personally something. that i'm i'm constantly working through. to really drop into my. to what i know to be true and you know.

because i think we're all around so much. noise and we're around so many damn. opinions like. lord the amount opinions it's like how. do you navigate yourself through all the. opinions because. part of it is great it's wonderful to. have these different perspectives and it. feeds you and you kind of can see it. from different points of view and that's. really great but then there's another. part of it that it can just become so. noisy so to drop into that space in your. gut that literally like.

if you don't feel it you do know you. don't feel it you do know that and yeah. you can try to convince i'm good i'm a. good convincer i try to convince myself. that i feel it and i try to explain in. myself then i try to rationalize myself. but i do know when it's not when i'm not. feeling it and so i'm learning much. better to just be comfortable with that. and to know that that's for a reason and. even if i don't understand that reason. right now. there's a reason why. it's not feeling right and to. really just trust that.

yeah no absolutely and i appreciate your. honesty with that it is such a. hard thing to know and that's why i. asked you because i think we we all. struggle with that in in in. where the book gets gets you know it. starts to get really uh. just where you just open up even more. and you get such an intimate look into. how you've got to where you are today. and the relationships in your life in in. one of the chapters you talk about your. relationship with kerry.

and and what i find fascinating about. that is just how you're able to. understand how. different people come into your life for. different reasons and you talk about how. women and men but we choose someone you. know you talk about women specifically. to where you choose someone that's. either like your father or not like your. father right like that. extreme and. a lot of people can relate to that and. you know me and my wife often talk about. that we talk about the similar traits we. have to our parents and how i complement.

some of those things that she loves in. her father or you know the differences. that we have and we start to see that. tell me what you were able to learn from. from these different people in your life. at different times. that that helped you with the. relationship you have now. right you've got two beautiful kids and. happily married like what were the. things that you learned that helped you. build. the relationship you had now. oh man and just overall with anyone and. everyone.

uh wherever specifically. wherever you feel comfortable to go with. it. so what so so what situations or what. relationships have. shown me. or helped me to get to where i am now. where i'm able to have a really healthy. you know. just loving. reciprocal relationship is kind of what. you mean yeah yeah what i mean is sorry. if i'm not explaining myself well what i. mean is. that.

when you talk about your relationship. with kerry and you talk about you know. how you. feel that how he was brought into your. life to teach you certain things so i'm. fascinated by what some of those lessons. were and how they. continue to be useful in your life now. oh my gosh yes so i mean the biggest one. definitely and it's just so incredible. and and. again back to that self-reflection and. and back to that being able to look. you know look at it from this clear.

vantage point now it's so apparent what. kerry and i were brought together to. create and. and and what he was brought to teach me. was very very very important deep stuff. and i and i know one of the stories that. i share. in the book is um you know i. like like i said we inherit all these. things and i i had this habit of uh. that my mother is she does all the time. and she it's kind of like this this.

self-deprecating thing but i guess it's. like a little bit of you know it's a. little bit of like takes the weight off. and kind of maybe it's sort of a joke. but it's actually you know just uh you. know and and i would do this thing. that i picked up from her where i would. say well you know my luck. you know and it was it was almost like. it's almost like protection. so that if everything if something. didn't go right i already knew that that. was okay you know and well because you. know my luck so.

you know it was like a disclaimer or. something and and i didn't even know i. was doing that and i didn't even realize. i was doing it and it became just like. it became just a habitual. thing that i would say and so we'd be. talking like well because you know my. luck and that and he was like why do you. say that and i was like what and he was. like why do you what is making you say. that and i was like what are you talking. about it's like. it's not that serious what he's talking. about. he really pointed out to me. that you know by me using those words.

i was. basically. asking the universe to give me bad luck. because i was saying that well since i. was claiming that my luck was not good. yeah and i was doing it in a joking. manner. that i thought was. that i had picked up so i didn't think. it was a big deal. but in actuality it was blocking me.

and i mean i was probably at the time. like 16. wow. and i was able to receive that message. so loud and clear you know from him. and i know that it changed the. trajectory because i started to learn. early. the power of words and how what you say. is definitely a million percent. what you gonna get. i mean and so i didn't know that and.

and so when he opened my eyes to that. it really changed a lot for me. and so so things like that he really you. know he gave me those kind of gifts and. and and it really helped to shape a lot. of my you know um the way that i looked. at things and the way that i started to. say things and. and what i would remove from my. vocabulary or just remove from from the. things that i learned you know before. him so.

it's so. there's so much that he shared with me. and taught me that i know has. contributed to. my you know my mindset my the way i see. things. yeah that's beautiful thank you for. sharing that it's when you talk about in. the book and you look like just how it's. it's shocking to me because the things. that you're talking about and then i. look at how old you are in that section. i'm like what no way like you know it's. it's almost like. that there's so much wisdom in your soul. and you're you're so mature and then at. the same time you're reflecting so.

deeply at you know choices or decisions. that. you saw leading you the wrong way and. it's so interesting just to see that. juxtaposition of. of just rechecking i'm like oh wow. you're only 16 then you know it's and. and there's so much. there and one of the things i love about. the book that i think has been done. beautifully is you have these short. notes at the beginning of some of the. chapters from people in your life like. your father your you know sound. engineers like so many different roles.

and. yeah those could be an incredible window. into. the scenario and situation when i'm. reading it and i was wondering how. you know because i think this is such a. common thing for so many people like as. they grow up. their relationship with their parents. either strengthens or weakens. how did this process help you heal your. relationship or or further or deepen. your relationship with your parents of. you know going through this process of. reflecting on all of this again or how. is that journey. taking place for you through your.

spiritual growth. yeah no definitely i mean. i think in so many way in in in a lot of. ways. um. it's done. so much of that so much of that even. hearing the stories that my mother. shared and. realizing her perspective and. realizing. how things must have been for her. during these different times. you know especially when she talks about.

kind of you know choosing to have me and. you know it wasn't the. it wasn't the kind of traditional. scenario. when she got pregnant and she wasn't. kind of on the trajectory to marry my. father and it just it wasn't you know it. wasn't the you know what we are told is. kind of the way things are supposed to. happen it didn't happen like that and. and that could have been really really. difficult for her and and surely it was. and. and she had to make some really hard.

choices. and so just hearing kind of her. perspective and her story and but then. still understanding that regardless she. in essence you know chose me she chose. me. you know that. that is what uh. that is. like things like that just as a daughter. you don't. i mean of course if you step back of. course your parents like guests choose. you because once they choose to go. forward they chose you and they're gonna. stick it out for good bad or indifferent.

but as a daughter you don't think like. that like you don't. really think like that and and so to. have those moments. now on this side um and also being a. mother and understanding like. the weight of what that actually means. is. it just deepened my respect. and my you know love for her so so much. which i don't even know how that can get. any deeper because she's literally my. one and only like truly you know.

in regards to consistency and actually. being there for me for real it's her and. that's it you know so she so but to. learn more about. that and her you know. doubts and insecurities and and things. she had to overcome really just brought. me closer to her i think just as a woman. you know as a woman. so that that was that's really cool and. really powerful and. and then and then for my father as well. you know we've definitely been on a deep.

um. a deep journey to understand. our relationship and. and it's taken many incarnations and. it's taken many turns and taken me many. places that have had to do with anger. and rage and worthlessness and and. many many emotions and and even. and and and even you know moving towards. gratitude and and definitely like a.

deeper understanding of. his. journey and his. difficulties and what he's had to endure. and experience and and his upbringing. and you know he also was raised by his. mother only and he didn't really have he. had a he had a he had a father figure in. my grandfather who my grandmother. married later on you know what i mean. but in regards to like him having a. father figure you know how does one. learn how to be a father what are you. just born knowing how to be a father.

like how do you and how do you know how. do you know. so. so or how does one learn how to be a. mother you know same so it's just. it's just so deep in this kind of. this kind of. place of. empathy. and understanding and. really you know as opposed to just only. seeing everything from your view and. your perspective. i think that's what i that's what it's. given me the most of being able to see. it from multiple perspectives and.

multiple views and to your point even. those intro chapters and things like. that create. another perspective of how to look at it. how to see it. and. ultimately. that's our experience i think is. how we see it is the experience we have. with it. so it's been really really dope and. great. and beautiful and you know my father and. i are really in a very wonderful place. and closer than we've ever been and and.

really able to be. friends and just like humans and without. all of the extra attachments or without. of the extra. us. what i want to call it it's almost like. the. the pictures were painted that we. assume we're supposed to live up to and. and then we hold each other to these. images of what it's supposed to be but. we each have to create what it is and. you know hey you might not be the daddy.

that was in my life at four years old. and threw me up on your shoulders and. walked around and then tucked me into. bed at night that might not have been of. our experience but that doesn't mean. that our experience isn't valuable and. that our experience isn't special too. in the way that it was meant to unfold. so. that that empathy has definitely come. through in a lot of ways and. um. and and i love that this book has. assisted that. wow that yeah that's so powerful to hear. that that the the pictures and the.

visions that. we like our fiction writing brains. create. what it should look like and. what it should feel like. and then you start realizing that no one. has what it should feel like or look. like like it doesn't really. exist and that our experience is. different and what i'm hearing you say. also is. when we. develop the emotional skills our parents. didn't have. that's when we realize how hard it is.

right like it's it's almost like. there's an expectation of your parents. to be a certain way but then when you. try and become that yourself you realize. how hard it is to gain those qualities. and. and and those perspectives does that. make sense. yes. absolutely that does that does man and. you're a mother now so you know you must. see it from that perspective again like. almost like a. the 180 flip of being in that situation. and. seeing that in your children.

it's oh man that yeah no that. that's definitely a a mind trip it's. really interesting and i think the. biggest. the biggest part for me. comes back to what we talked about. already with the unlearning yeah and the. you know just the. what the truth is for you. and um and just really. recognizing what it is that you want to. bring. for it toward them for them you know. what what do you want.

to let go of even in yourself because i. think there's constantly that's one of. my favorite things about being a parent. is that they're teaching me so much. about what i want to let go of. and what i what i no longer want to. bring forth you know and and that is so. interesting and crazy and so it's. it's something else. yeah it's it's always nice hearing that. about how much i don't have kids yet we. don't have kids yet so.

we haven't we haven't had that gift in. our life yet but to to. hear that from your perspective of how. much you're learning back from them is. is phenomenal and i know that my my. community loves hearing about. how relationships form especially. partners and husbands wives or marriages. or partnerships of any any form and. what i found fascinating was that you. and your husband. actually go way back but it's funny to. read that you were actually turned off. by him because of how flashy he was and. the fact that he'd brag about completing.

a beat in 10 minutes. and by the way i've been a big fan of. his beats for a very long time. music too so i was kind of like i i you. know it's it's tough this way so what. tipped the scales in his favor like what. was it that. that allowed you to recognize that this. was the person you wanted to be. oh it was like it was so. interesting it's such a journey because. you know like you said. and we talk about it i actually love. the story of us in the book a lot.

because it really i think comes through. really purely as to the experience and. um and and. and we've known each other for so long. um you know since we were like 15 and 14. and we've seen each other through these. different incarnations in our lives and. we've watched each other become. successful without even really you know. not you know we knew each other in the. sense of we'd met in these different. places and we of course were happy for. each other's success but.

you know it was kind of in passing in so. many ways and so i i found that with him. i i really was quite judgmental about. him. which is something that i think we do. like as humans you know we just are. super judgmental. about a person and you know and and so i. i always had this idea about what i. thought that he was in my mind and and. that particular thought that i thought.

that he was was something that i didn't. find to be something i wanted to really. get to know more of or you know i i. didn't i thought it was to your point. like i wrote quite flashy very over the. top very kind of obnoxious ostentatious. it was completely the antithesis. of what i. who i believe i am or who i believed i. was and and and and just what i the. energy that i carried and so i was. always so like ah.

there he goes again and like he can't. just have a fancy car he has to have the. white phantom. you know he can't just have like a. really nice chain he has to have like. five diamond chains like it was just. like so over the top and so much so i. drew these conclusions about him and. every time that i. um connected with him. i was always like wow. he's so cool like huh i didn't realize. how cool he was and i'd always be.

introduced to the real him because as we. do a lot you know we we judge each other. and assume that we know something about. people and we don't. and. and so it wasn't until that i actually. started to communicate with him or. conversing him that uh then i started. this i was like wow he's he's quite. interesting. [Music]. he's he's always thinking about. something that's so interesting and so. that it was it was it was that it was. the the actual getting to know him and. really just the peeling away the layers.

of what i assumed and actually getting. to know the spirit of the person and i. think that when i look at it from. now you know um. and i look. and i look i i know. for a fact that the universe and god. definitely knew what they were doing. when they brought us together. because it's completely. this we both have what each other didn't. have before us. and.

so there's this beautiful thing where. he's taught me so much. about. like. greatness and bigness and being unafraid. of this this this enormousness that we. have within us and you don't have to be. afraid of it you don't have to. not step into your five diamond chains. now you might express that in a. different way and you might want to.

express that brilliance and brightness. in another way. but you don't have to be afraid to. express it you don't have to hold it. back and repress it you don't have to. not want wonderful things for yourself. you don't have to be afraid of. anything not your wealth in any capacity. not the wealth of the love that you have. that you want to give not the wealth of. the ideas that you have that you want to. create not the wealth financially that. you want to be able to have and give and. share you do not have to hold it back.

and i only held everything back until i. met him and he was a really really big. teacher to me about how to walk into my. greatness and not apologize for it. and. and it was and it's really deep it's. really deep and really amazing and i'm. so grateful for it and i've also given. him. a sense of grounding and a sense of. deepening and a sense of really looking. at things from a a.

a a more. expressive place or a more. you know. intimate place because. because i'm more internal he's more. external and so it's it's really uh it's. really been so special to witness the. way that we were both. obviously meant. to. bring each other this energy and so we. complement each other so beautifully and. and it continues to be that way i'm and. i'm so blessed for that. yeah i'm so glad you shared that because.

i feel like in this. in this online dating world or you know. social media dating world that we missed. i i often find that people are judged so. quickly. and we make decisions over. whether we could or could not have a. future with someone. so instantly and it's almost like. you you guys wouldn't have been together. if it was just based on that initially.

[Music]. and then like you're saying like you can. see the greater reason for you come. together you can see the abundant life. that. you've been. empowered to live for yourself through. through both of you coming together. and it's incredible to think it wouldn't. have happened because of an initial. judgment. and one of the parts i love. is where. you talk about this so it says you know. that uh your husband said for years that. you wouldn't take your wedding ring off.

even after he presented you with an. upgrade. and i quote that's alicia for you less. is more and and you know so i was like. but so it seems like you've you're still. you've still stayed to that like less is. still more for you. yeah but you've been you've been able to. appreciate more right that's that's kind. of what i'm hearing. yeah i'm still who i am yeah and i am. i am a person that does. prefer simplicity i realize you know it. just feels better for me.

um. but i also have learned to appreciate. and within that simplicity to find. that that the simplicity doesn't mean i. have to. want nothing for myself as well you know. it's like it's like a beautiful line you. know but so yes there's a much more i. think a much better balance although. still at my heart that's the type of. girl woman that i am i am i'm a quite. simple person. i love that. one of the big things that you see in in.

your life that shift is your experience. in in egypt and when you returned. to new york from egypt. your whole team noticed that you you. changed you shifted. and you go on to say that you started. using the single most powerful word a. pleaser can ever speak and. no right and i think so many of us today. have a challenge with that word in in so. many areas of our life tell me what the. experience was in egypt that led to.

led to you getting that confidence. because i think for a lot of us it's. just we're not giving ourselves the. permission to say no. because we don't want to let others down. because we. want to be seen as good people and. caring people tell me about the. importance of using that word and how. it's changed things for you. oh my gosh. it's so important man and it's like you. know we just we associate. so much guilt with.

looking out for ourselves. you know and i don't know why we do this. like well we're so comfortable to make. sure that we're. doing all the best things and the right. things for everybody else for that it. feels like you're you're you're you're. you know you're completely in the right. in the in your rightness. but when it comes to looking out for. what's best for you. we are so guilt-ridden about it and i. think it's just i am so finished and. done with that i just i would really.

like to rewrite. that whole. story it is whack and it's not real and. i don't know what it is and i don't know. who told it and i don't know if it's. like. women. like really deal with this even more. difficultly than men i don't know i'm. not a man i can't speak for men. all i know is whoever feels like how i. feel in this place where we. suddenly are racked with guilt when it. has to do with protecting or taking care. of yourself. i want to rewrite that.

narrative because it's just awful and so. and it's totally counter-intuitive and. counterproductive and it's just kind of. totally stupid and i don't even use that. word i don't like that word but in this. case. relevant. it's relevant in this case and and and. so i think that you know that trip to. egypt was definitely. a really big big marker in in my journey. to.

start to understand what it is that felt. good for me and how to. build things around me that um. that. that makes it uh. build things around me that that that. feel right and feel good and and be okay. with the change that has to come. naturally like nothing can just continue. on forever and ever it would it wouldn't. even work so. so that. that. trip was a big part of me arriving to.

the place where i could finally. start to say no and and that definitely. took a long time and much much more. after that. before i actually got the hang of it and. before i even understood. why it was so valuable and so important. but um but i think i started to. recognize. just the the things that were happening. in my life that that i needed to let go. of and and that was the beginning of me. recognizing this pleasing tendency that. i was carrying with me um that i that i.

had that it was time to start shifting. away from. yeah it's so powerful hearing you share. that and i i know a lot of people. listening right now will get so much. strength from that because you're right. men men and women and and maybe women. more like struggle with saying no and. i think we struggle with our work we. struggle within our relationships we. struggle with it. in our families there's so many places. that we. struggle with it that that it's such an. important. skill and habit to learn.

and and be able to become comfortable. with ourselves and and making that space. for ourselves so i think i think you're. going to give a lot of people a lot of. strength hearing you talk it through and. calling it stupid um. you say that in life. we don't get what we are sorry in life. we don't get what we ask for we get what. we believe and i i thought that that. sting was so powerful when i read it i'm. going to read it again guys because.

it it may sound like something you've. heard before but it's not so so listen. to it carefully. in life. we don't get what we ask for we get what. we. believe and when i when i read that i. just thought you know that's that's so. true because there's such an asking. movement and manifesting movement and. you know just asking for things from the. universe god whatever whatever anyone. has a belief in. i'm intrigued by when you came to that. realization.

and what you're believing right now so. how did you get to that realization and. then. what are you believing right now. oh oh my gosh. we're going there today i'm sorry oh. it's so good it is so. good and man. um how do you. i just. i just have seen. so clearly and even. up to. quite recently you know.

that. even i was. i was operating from these places that. i didn't. recognize my value. and. i thought that that was humility. wow. but i was wrong. and.

it's absolutely not humility to not. recognize your value it's. it's it's issues with self-worth and. it's issues with. you know. things that we all have inside of us. that we definitely have to. pay attention to and think about and. work on and practice all the time to. this day. i have to. practice saying i. deserve this.

i. am meant to have this special moment. and i do not have to. feel like. you know. i was doing this thing where i would. uh you know. say i don't need that the similar to. that thing that i did when kerry told me. why do you say you know my luck it was. just a different version of it it was. like a more evolved version of it where. i was you know i was saying no i don't. need it to be too complicated it's cool. i'm just simple i'm just i just need it. easy and i don't need much just a little.

this and a little that and i was i was. telling the universe that i didn't need. much. and there's a difference yes difference. between. you know. recognizing that you're content. and and telling the universe you don't. need. much because once again i was blocking. off the blessings i was blocking off. my potential to reach.

a greater greatness. and. i realized man look how blessed i am to. have reached. so many beautiful. plateaus and places and and. amazing. spaces and. still. i. am struggling with the belief that i. deserve more. and and when i talk about this every. morning i'm not talking. about financially deserving more which i.

deserve that as well by the way and i. really encourage us. i encourage us to not be afraid of. financial success i really do i think. that that's also. another. fallacy that that's another narrative. we've. thought that. somehow there's something to be ashamed. of by. achieving you know any number of things. we might achieve so i just i just. so but that's not what i mean what i. mean is. like the the greatest visions that i. have yet to.

vision for myself the greatest visions i. have yet to envision for the planet the. greatest. the the greatest. contributions that i have yet to. to. actualize all these things if i'm. telling myself i don't need much how can. i reach those. unimaginable places. and. and so. and so. that's what i meant when i was saying.

that. it's not. the experience. is fully. because what you believe you deserve. what you believe who you are. that's how you walk into a room and. that's how you speak to that person and. the words that you use to them that that. you feel you belong there with them or. you don't and we all belong there you. know i don't just belong there we all. belong there. and in this in this highest greatest.

space that we have yet to imagine. because it's that big. we might not even be able to see it and. that's and that's what i wanted that's. what i want to feel so i don't want to. say any longer. that. i don't need much. i need the greatest version of myself. that i can possibly manifest so that i. can be the greatest version of myself. for the entire planet and that is what. we deserve.

so well said so so beautiful so powerful. so so amazing to hear you say that i can. resonate with it so much because i talk. so often about how. i grew up in in a. in the rhetoric of. i always had just enough. and i always. and it was always about just enough. which meant you never had enough because. it was just enough right it was just. and it ended up. leading to so many.

challenges in so many areas of my life. where you end up not realizing that. there's a difference between. selfishness. there's a difference between sufficiency. and then there's a difference with. service. and that's what i'm hearing you say is. like selfishness is where you just want. more for yourself. sufficiency is like i've got enough and. then there's service where it's like i. want more for the whole planet i want to. be able to you know give and serve and. do bigger and extend myself.

thank you so much for watching that. video if you enjoyed it here's another. one i think you'll love for me. personally it was because i didn't have. a choice. there was no other option. that was taken away from me with the. passing of my son's father that i was. forced into. i'm alone now who do you trust when you. don't have anything else to lean on and. stand on all you have is what you came.

here with it's you and the divine.