Becky G ON Coming To Terms With Her Identity and Radical Authenticity

I'm very proud of myself for having made. it through those moments I didn't know. that that was like my body physically. telling me something's wrong she's a. singer actress activists please welcome. Becky G. [Music]. when you start in a career as young as I. did it's very much so like put your head. down get it done get it done get it done. get it done and then you like blink and. then you're like oh snap I'm 26. [Music]. before we jump into this episode I'd.

like to invite you to join this. community to hear more interviews that. will help you become happier healthier. and more healed all I want you to do is. click on the Subscribe button I love. your support it's incredible to see all. your comments and we're just getting. started I can't wait to go on this. journey with you thank you so much for. subscribing it means the world to me the. best-selling author and host the number. one Health and Wellness podcast on. purpose with Jay Shetty. everything we all do is wanting to feel.

connected right whether we're crying or. whether we're laughing or whether we're. reaching out for help or we're reaching. out to help like all of it almost seems. to be a cry for connection we're all. wanting to feel that and you've talked a. lot about this concept of the 200 which. is what this new album's based on your. roots and I love that idea can you. explain it because. it's the first time I'd heard about it. in that way and I really really. appreciate it yeah of course.

it's interesting to me how. I was always like the 50 50. you know. you're half this half that and I didn't. like that there was something about that. that never sat well with me and I think. it's because it made me feel like in. order to be accepted here I have to give. up a part of myself and in order to be. accepted there I have to give up a part. of myself and in reality it's like I am. who I am I shouldn't have to give up any. of who it is that is my true authentic. being to be accepted somewhere to fit.

into this this space this shape right. that doesn't feel organic to me that. doesn't feel natural to me and it was in. little like micro like experiences like. even hanging around my cousins who were. from Mexico and I'm telling me I was. American and I'm like well I guess. technically yeah but like I I don't know. when I'm in America they tell me that. I'm Mexican so which one am I and. there's this uh this saying in Spanish. you know yeah you're not from here.

you're not from there and then I would. respond to that and. like well in that case where do I stay. like where do I belong you know and so. it's kind of like rewriting that to say. like No SI soy like I am I am from here. and from there she's right. you know and it's kind of what inspired. um the the album esquina's because I am. not this side or that side of the. streets that raised me I am the corner. of two flags two cultures two languages. and I know I'm not the only one you know.

not just within the Latin Community even. but I'd say and I have so many friends. who I mean I don't know about do you. feel like you have a 200 experience. sometimes yeah well I love that that's. why I love the way you put it and even. just now the way you explain that is so. beautiful and elegant like it really. resonates with me I love that idea about. not having to be half of this and half. of that I actually experience it even. more in the roles I've played in the. world and so I often say to people that. I'm as much.

the monk mindset as I am the manager in. my work as I am the media person as I am. now a married person like all of that is. me I'm not one or the other because I. often get that where it's like well Jay. you used to be a monk and now you have. companies and you're married and you're. this and that and I'm like yeah but the. two things can co-exist for me as an. identity because there's so much from. that that I love and relate to and then. there's so much from this that I I love. and relate to and again with being born.

in London but my parents are from. originally from India but then my. mother's from Yemen and so there's so. many cross-sections in my background and. then I'm someone who's born and raised. in London but now lives in L.A and so. there's that intersection and I love the. idea of how we can all be so much more. than what our passport says or than what. our job title says or then what our bank. balance says or whatever it may be like. we're all so much more so I think by you.

saying that and I love the idea of the. street corner yeah that's that's really. cool because that's and all the cool. stuff happens on the corner not on. either side of the street anyway I mean. totally and if you're from La you know. that's where all the best fruit stands. are and the best tacos things so. um but I I yeah it's the. intersectionality that's what it is. exactly what it is it's like where all. of these things meet all the spaces in. between you know and and I think that's. there's so much Beauty in it but I think.

unfortunately there's you know systems. that that make us think that they're. wrong but in reality it's just an old. programming that doesn't necessarily. work anymore and that's okay too you. know and I love. what you said about letting you know all. the truths exist because that's. something that I think growing up I felt. Society tells you how to think very. black and white and I'm like life is in. color for a reason you know like we. should be seeing Life in Color there's. so much going on around us and I like to.

think that you know this vessel I'm very. thankful for I'm very thankful for the. vessel that allows me to experience this. life but my spirit is so much bigger my. soul needs to expand you know in the. same way we can experience such beauty. we can experience pain and there's all. these like opposites of everything and. then it's the spaces in between that. kind of just tie it all together you. know I love that there's purpose in that. how did you go about that journey of.

giving yourself permission to belong in. both. just it. just if we. stay in that like uncomfortable position. for so long you know you're sleeping on. a plane yes and you're so tired like you. will fall asleep anyway but then there's. like that half hour that goes by when. you wake up and you're like my leg is. dead and I can't feel my neck and it. hurts and this is not like this isn't. good quality sleep like I can't wait. until I get into my bed yeah and I felt. like I would feel that way sometimes. like I I could stay here for just a.

little bit you know but it didn't feel. very long lasting and I think that there. just comes a time where if you allow. yourself to and like you said give. yourself permission to even just explore. what could be on the other side to. explore that maybe I don't want to sleep. on the plane maybe I do want to sleep in. my bed and I can't right now and that's. okay but I can't wait for the day yeah. you know or the time that comes. um and look forward to it and so I would. always look forward to like the day that. like I wouldn't be compared to like.

another artist that like literally. looked nothing like me spoke nothing. like me and I'd be like I don't want to. be them I want to be Becky you know like. and I was so young already feeling that. way growing up in this industry and um. and it was those boxes man it was those. boxes that just like I I knew I could. check them I knew I could check those. boxes and and make other people happy. but there came a point I think when I. decided honestly to pursue singing. Spanish music was that turning point for. me and it was it was because I was going.

to be facing my biggest fear which was. okay well I I am American and I've. started a professional career singing. music in English but I've always wrapped. my latinidad but now me singing in. Spanish I don't know if I'll be accepted. there and that was like really scary. because the only real point of reference. I had was the queen Selena Quintanilla. who you know unfortunately is no longer. with us and so I just remember being.

like there's a scene in the movie where. her dad says. you have to be more Mexican than the. Mexicans the more American than. Americans it's exhausting and he says it. like that too it's exhausting and I'm. like yeah your girl's tired man I'm. tired like I just want to be I just want. to be who I am and the truth is is like. I think when you lean into the. authenticity of just knowing like I. gotta make myself happy and this this. really does make me happy. there's got to be something on the other.

side of that and little did I know I was. gonna be confronted with so many other. you know obstacles in Latin culture that. totally didn't want me to succeed you. know the machismo that exists the amount. of times you know the labels will say. you know girls don't sell tickets they. don't get played on the radio all kinds. of stuff and and I like to think you. know we're here we're doing it so there. must we do something right you know. doing a lot right a lot right tell me.

about that. that fear that you had in terms of like. I've started my career singing in. English now I'm moving over will I be. accepted yeah and that fear is really. displacing too again when you're like. I'm from here and I'm from there as well. what was it inside of you that pushed. you to say I'm gonna do this anyway like. what was it that gave you the courage. and strength because I can imagine. there's so many people who are listening. and watching right now. who are thinking I don't want to do that. because I don't want to be seen that way.

or I don't want to do that because. someone's going to put me in a box or. someone's going to push me back like we. all have these doubts in our own ways. what was it that helped you overcome. that doubt I think remembering what. someone like Selena did for me and. understanding that like like somebody's. got to do it like and and not like so I. now I have to it really came from a. place of truly Desiring and wanting to. to do that for myself because I know I. deserved that space in the same way I.

believe I deserved that space I believe. there's so many other talented young. women that deserve that space and so you. know Brick by Brick and if I only bring. one brick to this to this bridge that's. fine so be it but we we need it there. isn't there's a need for this and and I. want to be a part of that and I think. that was really inspiring for me to be. able to like take agency in that way and. know that there was a lot of like Nays. stairs that were like not believing but. then also knowing like the same way I.

was in that nurturing household where I. was allowed to be different like we're. going to keep building spaces like that. like we need that in the systems that. are you know continuing because they're. not sustainable some Somebody's gotta. shake it up and so uh and I remember. being a part of like specifically the. Latin industry at that time and I think. it was my intersectionality that that. made it kind of less intimidating for me. because I was like I know what it's like. to not be accepted here like because it.

happened on the other side so there's. nothing you can tell me here that I. haven't already heard yeah you know it's. fascinating isn't it that when you're. young you're forced to fit in and then. as you get older it's all about how do. you stand out yep and it doesn't make. any sense because it's so. counterintuitive your whole life you've. been told stand in line do as they do do. as I say and everyone's told to conform. and as you get older it's like well how. do you brand yourself how do you Market. yourself what's unique about you but.

you've been told to hide all of your all. of it uniqueness all right you've been. told to hide a little bit so it's almost. like we're trying to figure out what. that uniqueness is I love your idea. about or the vision that you just. painted for all of us of like how we're. all just laying another brick on the. bridge yeah that's that's such a. beautiful way to think about it and I. wonder how instrumental your grandfather. was in in this whole journey for you I. know that this album is inspired. dedicated to and you sadly lost him a.

few years ago but tell us a bit about. why family's been so important to you. but particularly him and I can see you. taking it in for those who are not. watching you can yeah big deep breaths. from Becky yeah no I think it's because. I mean to understand that we come from. something so much bigger than us is so. powerful sometimes overwhelming I think. for a lot of us mixed ethnicity kids. because you know we're we're not just. walking into a room with our dreams. we're walking into a room with our.

dreams and then the dreams of the. generations before not just into a room. with our own sacrifices but the. sacrifices of those before all of the. stuff that you know can feel very heavy. sometimes but then those two truths can. exist at the same time that I really. hear so strongly in in the back of my. subconscious which is that. it can be really heavy but such an honor. and there's a power in that to come from. people who have had to make something.

out of nothing and if they did you can. too. my grandfather Miguel Gomez. he is one of the greatest men I think. I've ever gotten to know in this life. and I feel this way about all my. grandparents like to have had all four. of my grandparents so present in my life. and to be a part of the the village that. raised me you know it's such an honor to. me and when he passed away and him being. you know my first grandparent that I. that I lose. just that that thing that I hold on to.

is that although again his vessel May no. longer be with me that guidance that. that honor that it is to carry that that. superpower with me is just it's so. incredibly motivating and so. inspirational and I think there's. there's a lot there that when I look. back at it you know he was really a big. part as to why I started pursuing this. because a lot of my grandparents I mean. they didn't finish their educations they. all started working very very young and.

that was the social Norm in Mexico you. know in Mexico like that that was part. of you know part of what it was you. don't finish school you work to help. your family. obviously we live in America and there's. such thing as child labor laws so it. wasn't the same thing for me but the. concept of being nine years old and. working to provide for my family and. going out in the streets and hustling. like it didn't feel like a absolute no. to me it felt like well if they did it I. can do it too you know and to see. everything that my grandparents have. built I mean my grandmother talks about.

all the day she says. like her little village she's so. thankful to God for her little village. that she created you know with my. grandpa and it's just like yeah like. y'all really did that and and we're all. just this ever-growing tree of branches. and of those roots you know and so um so. yeah he's he's with me every day I feel. it that's beautiful yeah you can kind of. see that energy coming through you right. now as well it looks like it's evident. that he has a place in your heart that's.

really deep and special and it must it. must be so powerful to be able to use. that to give back and to connect with. people definitely yeah and I think it's. like like it's their humanness you know. it's seeing their old age like even. seeing like they once could and now they. can't physically but we can you know so. like how do we carry that on it's just. it's so beautiful and so empowering and. so. um just knowing that even when we're no. longer here like things stay like.

there's an energy there that stays. there's something so meaningful and so. purposeful to our every word and. interaction shared it's just like you. want to live a life that is. of substance yes you know like I don't. want to just lollygag and just you know. I mean maybe every now and then don't. get me wrong but um but no I mean it in. the way of just like even in the. simplest of things just like living in. gratitude Becky you grew up in the. public eye and.

you know you've grown up in the public. eye too and it's the idea of growing up. growing up yeah growing up yeah growing. up. in the public eye what would you say. have been. the pros of that like what really great. lessons have you kind of Taken on and. what have been some of the challenges. that you're still trying to figure out. that you still feel you struggle with. sometimes yeah I think it's interesting. I don't think I saw many of the cons to. it as a kid because I was just like wow. like this is so cool a space to just be.

and be yourself and they don't really. realize how you're exposing yourself. like beyond what then the average person. like usually gets exposed to and it's. not just like the support it's also the. opposite of what support is right people. having a a thought and a say or an. intention that isn't always positive. against everything that you do and it. wasn't until you you were like a. teenager and you're getting made fun of. for the way you dress or what your teeth.

look like or having acne or whatever and. you're like wow you're really wearing. these things like you're really wearing. it and then you know on top of that. you're dealing with I mean for me I was. dealing with you know the pressures to. provide for my family so like I'm really. showing up as my best self because. there's too much writing on the line. it's not just me it's everybody who's. walking in the room with me so when you. are kind of put in this place where you. are you feel almost attacked sometimes.

or you know you feel let down you don't. feel as supported as you thought you. would you start to question like oh is. this a safe space is this is this what. it's supposed is this what I signed up. for because that's what everybody's. telling me this is what you signed up. for this is what you signed up for. and it's like as I've I've continued to. grow up in this space I think the. biggest like lesson for me is just like. maybe I'm not supposed to be liked to. fight everybody maybe that's not the. goal you know maybe I'm not maybe I'm.

not supposed to be for everyone maybe I. can be a little bit more sacred with my. energy you know maybe I don't have to be. on social media 24 7. you know like. maybe I can remember that there's a real. world out there with real people and. quality connection matters not the. quantity of connections I make and so I. think that like for me going from. literal baby Becky 14 years old getting. discovered on the internet to the 26.

year old that is still figuring out how. to practice those boundaries every. single day yeah it's like the the. biggest takeaway for me yeah and that. realization that. we're not for everyone is really. difficult to swallow because I feel like. our whole life. we've been trained to kind of be. people who make everyone around us happy. we've been trained to be that way. conditioned like we make people smile or. you are The Peacemaker in your family or. you were the change maker in your family.

or you were the person who kind of you. know communicated individually and. mediated with your family like we've all. played roles and most of those roles. revolve around us being liked or doing. things to be liked and all of a sudden. you grow up and especially if you have a. large public platform and even if you. don't have a large public platform just. growing up you go to work and you're a. family it's crazy because I was. literally gonna gonna interject right. there to say you do not have to be.

someone with a platform like ours to. know what this pressure is like today. agree and that actually makes me so. fearful for the future Generations. because we are constantly comparing. ourselves to everyone's greatest hits. and that is really really hard to leave. any room any space for Grace. for for growth you know because there's. this fear this fear of messing up saying. the wrong thing or whatever and it's. just like that's actually part of. learning we have to leave room to learn.

and I think it's also learning that we. can be something different. I was thinking about this the other day. and I had a conversation with like a. really close friend of mine about how. it's it's wild to me that I've shared so. much of my life on the internet since. such a young age and because I shared. that you know my favorite flavor of ice. cream seven years ago was chocolate that. someone can come across that today and. be like oh she's a she's a chocolate ice. cream loving girly and like little do.

they know like I don't really like ice. cream anymore like I don't even have a. favorite flavor I actually prefer frozen. yogurt you know and and there's like. seven years but because someone can come. across that you know today it can be. like no that's who she is and unless. it's documented. you can't tell me any different yeah you. know but it's like I think it's it's. leaving space that like I can change my. mind I mean I could love ice cream. tomorrow who knows you know and that's. totally possible but on a deeper level. it's interesting you were you were. saying something there's a book that I. read called the family on Bradshaw and.

it really blew my mind about the rigid. roles that we play in like family. systems and we find so much purpose in. that but then we we get so attached to. what that role is to forget that like we. have to go out into the world and like. learn more you know like it terrifies me. sometimes when I think about that. because I feel like I've lived so much. life in my 26 years and I'm like wait. there's more you're telling me there's. more I should be inspired and excited at.

that idea and a part of me is but then. there's another part of me that's. absolutely terrified you know and I. think it's it's again leaving room for. those two truths to exist yeah and. usually when it's terrifying I think. it's because it's right for you yeah. yeah you know what I mean like it's. supposed to be scary like just at least. just a little bit to like ignite that. thing in you that really like catches. your soul on fire and says I was made. for this yeah you know and I'm so happy. that I did it yeah you know yeah how. hard was it for you you just talked.

about there where you're like maybe I. want to be someone who experiences the. real world maybe I do want to switch off. from social media like as a public. figure and even in our friend circles. like I remember when I quit drinking. alcohol. and when I went back to my friend group. that was used to me drinking alcohol and. being a certain person at the party and. now I don't it was a complete switch I. wasn't I didn't have a public platform I. wasn't known but even in my group or my. community it was like wait a minute Jay. have you changed right or when I stopped.

doing certain things and when I started. doing certain things we all go through. these like identity deaths of who we. were and who we wanted to be to who we. are today and when you're trying to make. a transition like not being as active on. social media or you're trying to make a. transition of I don't go to those places. anymore whatever it may be I feel we all. go through this moment of identity. shifts and it sounds like you've had to. do that too what has helped you make. those as smooth as they can be or what.

has happened when you've made those. shifts and what have you dealt with I'm. laughing because Jay it's so not smooth. like it's not yeah it's so rough out. here it's very new for me it is so new I. have lived more of my life this way than. I have practicing trying something new. but it makes me very proud of myself to. know that I can look at myself every day. in the mirror and say I know it's going. to be really hard and it's gonna be.

challenging and there's going to be. things that trigger a response from you. maybe that you are that is second nature. we are gonna take time to process we're. gonna add some filters in your process. that are better for you because there's. better ways to deal with things there's. better ways than having to just like. promote your pain you know I somebody. the other day it was so funny somebody. the other day uh mentioned to me like. what's up with all these young kids. posting videos of themselves crying on.

the internet and I said first of all. that's really mean because little do you. know maybe they're singing for. connection and second of all I've. totally done that. damn it oh I'm guilty I'm so guilty of. it but are there times where I wish I. didn't absolutely because maybe not. everybody needed to see that I wanted to. be seen so badly but who am I seeking. that from why am I seeking that from the. world when maybe it's really Within. Myself And so that that daily practice.

for me is still very new but it's it's. doing things differently willing to. what's that saying. um you you won't you got to be willing. to do something you've never done in. order to get the result you've never had. right and so if I want to be the. healthiest version of myself I have to. be willing to look at my daily routines. mentally routine the mental routines. that I have the spiritual routines that. I have the physical routines that I have. and and and really just be honest with.

myself and am i setting myself up for. success you know and there's been hard. times like people very close to me would. be like be we had this conversation. we've had this conversation and they. very lovingly hold space for me to come. back around and be like you're right. yeah you're so right you know but it's. like just understanding that we are. constantly always in process yeah yeah. we're let's walk through some of those. actually because we love doing that one. on purpose you mentioned mental.

spiritual and physical routines let's. talk about some of the let's start with. the mental routines what are some daily. routines or habits or practices that. you've been working on okay so shout out. to my therapist because she taught me. the three little therapists I love. therapists me too they're dope. um they keep it real that's for sure but. uh the three-legged table is the Mind. Body Soul and if it's a table that needs. to work right it needs to hold things on. top of it. um if one of the tables is a little. wobbly or one of the tables the legs.

break it can't it can't fulfill its. purpose right what it what it's intended. for and so I am very much so a Mind Body. Soul kind of person and I think for me. if we're starting with the mind just. like not being on my phone the first. moments that I wake up in the morning. um I didn't realize like how second. nature was. like even just having like a separate. alarm clock outside of my phone. very new for me actually just started. practicing that I do a social media.

detox once a month so like there's I'll. literally delete the apps from my phone. completely and it's the best for how. long for how long I do at least seven. days wow constantly yeah wow that's so. cool yeah also very new but it's working. highly recommend and I don't say these. days to like knock anyway because. there's some people I know that can like. very much so be on these platforms and. like are so unfazed by it and it's great. for them and I love that for them but I. know myself yeah and I'm very very. sensitive so kind of just just.

practicing those things has been super. helpful for me on the on the mental side. and then I would say on the spiritual. side meditating has done so much for me. like meditation and prayer I think just. believing and having faith in something. that is greater than you is is always. helpful you know I think it's really. hard to trust something that you can't. see that you can't physically feel or. touch but there's all also something. very magical when you tap into that and. there's been moments where my day will. be so crazy and I you know this is. constantly trying to find time how do we.

reset the mind how do we reprogram and I. just think to myself even after 10. minutes of meditation there's another. version of me on the other side of that. that will be so much better so much. capable what part of me can't give. myself 10 minutes today so like that. that spiritual like tap in and like. re-centering for me is. special sauce and what type of. meditation is that for you what what. guided meditation still for me because. we've got a lot of thoughts these days.

you know and it's hard to silence them. but uh it's sometimes twice a day you. know I I try to do it twice a day. definitely in the morning or sometimes. when I'm in the sauna like post-workout. um to kind of just really be in my body. and then uh and then at night and I also. do uh uh do you know Wim Hof yeah of. course yeah yeah love it we've had room. on the show oh my God yeah another. person I would like absolutely geek out. to me but honestly that that whole. routine for me even like before shows.

just really relaxes the nervous system. on that breath hold there's like a. spiritual feeling that I have and. sometimes I'll play like frequency. during and it just like there's moments. where I'm like oh my God I'm totally. coming out of my body right now and this. is so nice wow yeah and what about. prayer you mentioned prayer there yes. yeah prayer is super important it's. funny I grew up in a very religious. household I'm very Mexican in that sense. my grandmothers are very Catholic and. I'm much more spiritual than religious.

I'd say but I think seeing them in their. dedication seeing them in their practice. was like very inspiring to me when I was. younger and also the communal aspect of. it too like getting to pray with my. grandmothers growing up is something. very sacred to me and I just think that. yeah when I pray and I Surrender like. like going like God is like I literally. have it tattooed because it's it's. important to know that you can't control. everything you just can't you can. control what you do how you react to.

what's going on around you but you can't. actually control everything that's. happening around you and I struggle with. that on a daily basis well said yeah I. think you know it those are beautiful. routines that's mental and spiritual. what about physical there is not a. version of me before this this I'd say. age that would say I love being in the. gym I love working out. um so much the point where I'm like. maybe I should prioritize sleep a little. bit more than the gym but um good sleep. good diet.

gym like feeling strong physically and. knowing that I'm taking care of my body. again like the The Vessel needs to be. safe and it needs to be protected and. provided for and and so I try my. absolute best. um but even in that sense it's like you. know not that my indulgent self takes. over but like enjoying the little things. in life like the balance you know like I. love food so the balance of that is like. you go burn it off in the gym girl and.

you'll be just fine I love that no and. it's so beautiful that you're thinking. about your life as those three legs to. the table or the stool in your life. because. it is so interesting to me about how as. soon as you take your eye off of one of. them how much harder everything else. becomes And yet when those three things. are good like you said they can carry. the weight even if it's getting really. really heavy yeah you still have this. Fighting Chance almost and I guess. the thing that.

I found that has really helped me in. that regard as well is making sure that. I'm not trying to solve all three at the. same time it's almost like one at a time. like I remember I always had my. spiritual practice and then I added my. mental practice and then I added my. physical practice and for me that order. worked really well whereas when you're. trying to solve all three at the same. time then two it's almost like saying if. you're putting a table together using. your analogy you can't put all three. legs on at the same time it just doesn't.

work that way you got to put one in. properly then the other one and then the. other one I want to go back to something. you said earlier. you talked about the need for Quality. Connections instead of quantity. connections what is Becky G's definition. of a quality connection how do you view. a quality connection you know I think. it's it's when I feel safe in a room to. be my true authentic self. and there's ways that my body used to. tell me that that like this isn't.

authentic like there's something about. this that doesn't feel right and I would. stay in the room because you're scared. of how that might come off or again the. people-pleasing Tendencies totally start. to come through right yeah I'm a. performer by Nature at this point. because I've been doing this for longer. than I've ever not been doing it but I. think it was just really understanding. man like it feels really good when I can. just show up and be me. and. when I'm trying to be my authentic self. sometimes there's a little fumbling that. happens or just sometimes it flows like.

right now this feels like a quality. connection it's just flowing I'm not. really thinking about what could be said. or what could be felt and how that might. come off and that feels to me again. aside from the universe and it really. affirms that I'm exactly where I'm. supposed to be and so when I have those. feelings that feel very affirmed in a. moment that is quality connection and it. might be with the stranger there's been. times where like I mean man I'll be at. the airport sometimes just killing time. because I'm totally like my grandparents.

I don't want to be late for a fight or. something and I'm just talking to like. the person behind the bar and just like. how's your day today and I walk away. like oh my God Johnny was so sweet I. want to go to his mom's pizza shop like. next time I'm in the city I'm coming. because there's like a true connection. that's being made and I think what we. celebrate today is like followers like. how many followers you have how many. numbers you have streaming this and it's. like that I I think is is is amazing. when you're thinking from a business. aspect but even then truly like people.

want to support something that is real I. want to support something that is real. whether it be in my friendships whether. it be with my family with my team with. my fans and so uh yeah I'd say that's. what it is it's like that authenticity I. could feel it yeah yeah and it's really. interesting right you said that we. almost all have a inner. Compass or an inner. dial that tells us whether something. feels authentic and aligned or it.

doesn't but we tend to ignore it. sometimes because of our people pleasing. Tendencies or whatever it may have been. when is the time in your life where you. feel like you've ignored it and it's. misled you or it's LED you away from. feeling how you feel now where you feel. safe in yourself yeah I definitely feel. so reflective on like certain career. moments where it was very easy for me to. let other people make decisions for me. and then and then when it wouldn't work.

be like ah I should have said something. you know oh why didn't I say oh but. there wasn't enough time. there just wasn't enough time we just. and and realizing like man I spent some. key pivotal moments in my career. feeling like I was being far more. reactive to what was happening than like. proactive and setting myself up to like. fully be present you know and I look. back at it and I'm like I'm very proud. of myself for having made it through. those moments but like there was moments.

where and and this is like even deeper. on like the uh the experiences I used to. have with like anxiety and panic attacks. you know I didn't know that that was. like my body physically telling me. something's wrong like you're not okay. but because you're scared to let other. people down you're scared of what other. people might say you push through. anyways. and I realize like just because you can. doesn't mean you should. and I think that that's one of my most.

valuable lessons for sure because there. was I mean many moments before going on. to a stage and. I mean we're talking full-blown tears. can't breathe if you've had a panic. attack you know the world is ending and. there's also this like subconscious part. of you that's like girl breathe just. breathe you know you know what this is. you know but your nervous system can't. tell the difference between like the. mental bear and the real bear that's in. the room and there's no bears in the. room so like chillax it's okay you know.

um yeah just being really young and in. really high stress situations like you. know you're everybody's boss but. technically everybody's older than you. and it's just such an interesting. Dynamic to have grown up in and so I. think that that has been the most. valuable lesson for me up until this. point you know just like yeah just. because you can doesn't mean you should. yeah that's good advice yeah well said. when you're doing my people pleasing. there and that naturally happens in. environments where like you said even.

though you're the boss everyone's older. than you it's it's natural to want to. please our elders in the same ways we. try to please our parents in our family. and I know you've worked a lot on. therapy and that's an area of your life. you've invested in deeply. how is therapy or what work have you. done in therapy that's helped you. identify your people pleasing Tendencies. and allow you to start reframing and. reshaping them because I think so many. of us often work so hard at pleasing. people that we end up.

displeasing and disconnecting from. ourselves and we don't realize that in. the attempt to make someone else happy. we're making ourselves more unhappy and. miserable miserable yeah and the other. person's not happy either because they. can tell that it's not it's not coming. from an authentic genuine place it's. just coming from a place of like I don't. want to cause any trouble so what's some. of the work that you've done or what. some of the lessons that you've been. able to illuminate about your triggers.

and where they come from and reframing. how the people how to move away from. people please yeah well like I said it's. definitely like a daily practice for me. but I think a lot of the first I would. say like the first two years of therapy. for me were very reactive to what was. happening in real time I wasn't really. comfortable with the idea of shining a. spotlight on what the root cause of. anything was you know it was very. ambiguous in the sense of like it's got. to be this this is because this happened. and so going back to like the the.

reactiveness of the first two years for. me is is funny because yeah there was a. lot of small fires that I had to put out. in that moment it was a very high stress. time in my career in my personal life. when I had first started therapy but I. think when I really surrendered to the. fact that this goes so much deeper than. just what's happening around me but it's. like how I exist in all of it like that. is when I was like oh yeah this Cisco's. a lot deeper and a lot of it is you know. childhood stuff and when I think about. you know big part of my childhood was.

also shared in an industry that you know. my parents were very very young they. knew nothing about it like quite. literally and and even then I like to. think I came out kind of okay but but. you know like they they couldn't really. protect me from much when it came to. that stuff and then the fact that they. were young parents when they got married. and and had children like they were. babies raising babies and so there was a. lot of things I had to like learn from. myself and teach for myself and so I. think having a lot more empathy for.

myself was like a big step in therapy. because it was hard for me to accept the. fact that I went without things like. what do you mean but we tried our best. but we did what we had to do I did what. I had to do there was just so much. resistance to the fact that I still. didn't get what I really needed and so I. think when you can just come from that. space of empathy and compassion for. yourself that like everybody really was. trying you really were trying and it. still came out a little short but hey.

it's not too late like you can still. learn you can still learn you know and. that was like I would say yeah third. year of therapy and that's crazy because. you're right it's invest Smith and even. then I mean some of the the types of. work that I do you know I think when you. take inventory. on your life you know like really taking. inventory on what your relationships. with the people around you in your life. look like and felt like from the moment. you were born to this current day.

inventory on memories you know. experiences that you've had in your. Recollections of them and then also kind. of revisiting those with those people. and being like hey what was your. experience like in this you know it's. the trippiest thing for me and my. siblings because I'm like we let us have. the same parents grow but the same four. walls around us and we're all so. different yeah and we all process so. different right so going back to an even. the deeper level of compassion and. empathy holding space for each other in. that way so beautiful yeah we didn't get.

to really doing that until we went into. family therapy together so thankful for. the resource and opportunity to do that. because there's there's a lot of times. where I'm like man like we things could. have gone one or another way and we kept. choosing you know family and we got to a. point where like choosing family this. ride or die mentality of like oh you. know like why do we have to ride or die. why can't we just be you know like. nobody's gonna ask that question and I. was the big sister who was like you know.

parentified so I was like I'm their. parent they're my and they're like we. just want you to be our big sister we. don't need you to be our mom or our dad. and I'm like what do you mean I have to. be it was like all those rigid roles and. stuff so taking inventory was super. helpful for me it gave me so much. perspective and then recently I started. doing like Parts work which we were. talking about all the parts you know. like oh there's a part of me that's. still a child I'm still freaking Afraid. of the Dark I the amount of times I. travel and I'm alone in my hotel room. and I'm like I'm gonna sleep with the TV.

on just so it feels like somebody's here. because it's a little scary in here. um that's a part of me you know that's a. part of me that's still trying to figure. figure things out still feels a little. lonely the stuff is a little lost. um there's the Boss part of me that. feels super empowered and feels like. such a Visionary over the career that. I've built from myself and excited to. like continue to attack these like parts. of the industry that quite literally. need to just be broken down you know so. more of more of me can get in there when. I say more of me I mean other powerful.

women who have you know so much talent. and so much just to offer in these. spaces yeah it's it's beautiful I love. the parts work yeah no and it's so. beautiful to hear someone talk about it. so thoroughly and thoughtfully and I. think when you can articulate something. effectively it means you're more likely. to be able to process it up here yeah. right when you connect the feeling part. yeah though that's that's the other part. because I really I learned this from. myself it's like Becky you're really.

good at intellectualizing your feelings. but do you feel them. cue the tears like I on purpose. sometimes have to like get myself to. that space to release because the body. keeps count the body keeps score of all. of what you go through so you can be. like yeah I was really stressed I really. is if you don't allow your body to feel. it somatically like that's the other. thing that for me I think I find myself. like that's was the manifestation of the. panic attacks and things like that like.

oh right anxiety depression they're not. the diagnosis they're the result of. that was like whoa big knowledge for me. because I was like oh yeah I just have. anxiety and depression it's normal like. I just have panic attacks all the time. like no your body is telling you. something you are processing something. that you aren't letting your body feel. you know. it's again a hard reality because. allowing yourself to feel it again is it. almost goes back to that giving.

permission like just giving ourselves. permission to feel giving ourselves. permission to process something giving. ourselves permission to allow for this. Paradox to exist when was the last time. you cried this morning yeah yeah that's. why I'm not crying right now. no truly truthfully speaking it was this. morning. um it's such a stressful time you know. and it's a it's a time where I feel like. in my career. it's funny to me I'm like I can walk off. a stage and feel like oh I want to do.

that all over again and then leading up. to a performance I'm like why do I do. this to myself this is torturous. um and I know but I I like to think that. uh I I always regret not working out I. never regret the workout and so I tried. to think about that way in my life like. oh I gotta do hard thing I was designed. to do hard things you know but even then. acknowledging that it's hard is super. important because then you can have that. compassion and empathy for yourself but.

if you don't acknowledge that it can be. very challenging you're not gonna leave. any room for that compassion and that. empathy that you need to have for. yourself in order to do those hard. things and so yeah your girl is crying. it was a full moon it was it was all. kinds of things but it was good it was a. good cry like it's not always like a sad. cry sometimes it's like a a release like. a sense of relief you know yeah it's. really interesting that if someone's. natural reaction to something was to. laugh we'd see that as normal but when. someone's natural reaction to something.

is to cry we see that as wrong or it's. like stop crying everything will be okay. we'd never say to someone stop laughing. everything will be okay right or. everything thing is okay like it's. really interesting to me which emotions. we allow for in society and which. emotions we try and block others and. ourselves from having and I find that. the more we try and stop others from. having a certain emotion it's usually. because we block that in ourselves for a. long long time and I love that you cried. this morning and that was a release for.

you and it was helpful for you and it's. powerful yeah I think it's and I'm so. glad you shared that with us today as. well because at the moment we're. experiencing a really vibrant abundant. with your frequency and the interesting. thing is when you were crying you were. still vibrant and abundant like we. shouldn't see that as not that right. just because it looks different yeah. definitely and I think it's like it goes. back to like those core those core. emotions you know really understanding. like again what are the symptoms of. those core emotions and when I'm feeling.

this anxiety when I'm feeling is it. coming from a place of fear and do I. just need to talk about it or am I. experiencing such great joy that my body. really doesn't know how to receive this. right now you know or am I experiencing. both because there's two things going on. at the same time. um and and I think it's doing that that. check in with yourself that's super. important making time for it you know. like I genuinely made time to cry today. and I'm very proud that I did that. because I would be crying right now. which would have been totally fine as. well but uh but I think it's also such a.

it's such a sacred practice for me not. crying but just checking in with myself. that to be able to know how to do that. and support myself in that way instead. of seeking it. again in a space of validation when it. feels too late and more reactive. um or from people who maybe don't know. how to do that for me it feels. empowering to know oh I I got me I. always got me you know ah I mean if we. could all just feel like I've always got.

me and we don't all the time like I said. it's it's a it's a it's a daily practice. to make that effort and even then I fall. short you know I fell in charge even for. friends and family members of mine and I. think that's that's when our human. really shows you know like there's that. window of Tolerance and we can try to. expand it as much as possible but. there's still a window you know like. it's still a window and some days it's. this big and some days it can be this. big. um and so it's just like acknowledging. and then expressing that too just.

letting everybody know hey my windows my. windows really small today it's Becky's. size. um or sometimes it's just like yo my. window is Big we should fit a whole. house to that thing you know everybody. bring come on in yeah it's nice to just. be able to Vibe check like that yeah and. that's that daily as you use the word. inventory that daily check-in of like. where am I at how am I feeling what can. I offer is today a internal day or an. external day like I I do that all the. time too there are certain days where I.

can literally be there for anyone and. everyone and I am this outward person. and then there are days where I just. want to be alone and be in silence and. Stillness and being able to accept that. they're both one and the same thing yes. that one is not a better expression of. me and one is not a worse expression of. me I think we still live in this world. of what's right and wrong and better or. worse good or bad I can't that's what I. mean about the black and white thinking. that I was talking about earlier and uh.

what's that story there's a story about. the man and he says well we'll just have. to wait and see basically. um. is he like a father and his son and this. thing happens and then they're like oh. I'm so sorry and he's like well we'll. see you know we'll see and it actually. you know there's so many things that you. think are a bad thing right. quote-unquote bad thing that are. happening but in reality it's a good. thing and uh and then maybe maybe it. turns out to not be a good thing you. just never know you know but I like to.

think uh that everything happens for you. not to you like that is my that is my my. mojo these days everything is happening. for me not to me and it's interesting. how you're the way you exist in those. spaces will actually shift because you. realize oh this is in my favor. I'm supposed to learn something from. this you know I'm supposed to like gain. something from this and that's why the. whole concept of failure and success.

like navigating this industry since such. a young age there's songs of mine that I. love that I thought deserved to be the. number one song and they're probably. like the lowest streaming whatever you. know but it's like what it means to me. is a win like that is a success to me. that's not a failure you know and so. it's like redefining what what success. means to you uh redefining what. greatness is it's redefining what all of. the the stuff that life has to offer and. saying No this is happening for me not.

to me for me I just think it's so yeah. yeah for anyone who's wondering the. story that Becky was referring to which. please encapsulate in that point it's a. beautiful Zen story about a man and his. son and the man buys his son a horse. well actually his son finds a horse I. believe and comes home riding this. beautiful horse and all the villagers. are like wow this is amazing like he's. just so incredible that he could tame. this Wild Horse and now he's writing in.

look how elegant it is. and the man said the father says good. thing bad thing who knows or maybe let's. see and then the next thing that happens. is that the sun's riding the horse and. then he gets thrown off the horse and. when he gets thrown off the horse his. leg gets fractured and he has to have an. operation and surgery and whatever else. and everyone in the village it's like oh. my God this is the worst thing that's. ever happened oh no oh no no and the man. says good thing bad thing who knows or. maybe let's see and then after that they.

come and recruit everyone in the village. to join the Army because they've got to. defend themselves but this guy can't go. and everyone's like you're so lucky your. son's not going because his leg's broken. all of our sons have gone we're gonna. miss them and the man says good thing. bad thing who knows or maybe let's see. and it continues that way that it's and. it's really hard in the moment to live. that way because when it feels like. because our mind has been trained in. that good and bad when something bad is. happening it feels like nothing good can.

come from it and the interesting thing. is when something good happens we're. also equally convinced nothing bad can. come from this and the truth is those. two moments can switch so quickly and. I've been at the intersection of both of. them in my life and I've just found that. not seeing things as good or bad but. seeing them is just learning and lessons. and healing and growth. and what you just said which is that. it's all about what's happening for us. if we can just live in that way it's.

better than the dichotomy of good and. bad positive and negative ugh Jay Shetty. ladies and gentlemen. I just yeah yeah I mean you definitely. told the story better than I did no no. I'm just filling in the gaps no but I. really appreciate you going into that. that much detail because I think that is. I I wish that for the the future. generations to really know that to. really know that there is no such thing. as as good or bad there's just you just.

doing doing what you can do for yourself. whatever that looks like you know and. and unfortunately I think what happens. for a lot of Youth that grows up in you. know communities like the ones I grew up. in it's like we're doing a lot of things. that we were never taught. you know like we were doing a lot of. things that we were never taught and so. there's a lot of like self-doubt that. Creeps in there's a lot of shame that. Creeps in there's a lot of oh you know. do I trust myself or do I just stay.

where I'm comfortable and it's just like. nah just just do the best that you can. whatever that looks like just do the. best that you can you know and I I feel. proud that there's moments in my life. that I can look back and say wow I. really I really showed up for myself you. know in the best way I knew how to maybe. would look a little different today but. even then like very proud nonetheless. and so yeah I I hope that for the future. Generations that they leave room for. themselves to know that good thing bad. thing I don't know guess we'll see you.

know yeah yeah and you know it's you. know what's really interesting back yeah. obviously I went so I went on tour for. the first time this year. it was what you did it was hard and. grueling and exhausting and at the same. time the most fulfilling beautiful. powerful thing we did I think it was. around just under 40 cities across the. world and it was insane as an experience. and I'm so grateful I did it but I. couldn't do anything else but that for. the time that I was out I think overall.

we did that in like 80 days all of that. and it was it was a lot of travel and. everything else but I was obviously. touring for my book eight rules of love. and it was really interesting to me. because there were. there were lots of moments of the. difference about for those of you who. came to my show you already know but it. wasn't a speech or a lecture it was. literally like a social experiment where. I would take people up from the audience. people would be an uncomfortable. situations there'd be humor there were. moments where people were sharing their.

story with the entire you know thousands. of people in the room it was really. moving and there was one area where we. really focused a lot on and it was this. idea of how the biggest space we lose. ourselves is often in romantic. relationships and romantic relationships. tend to be the relationships where we. invest the most of us and often find. that we leave feeling the most broken or. hurt or whatever it may have been and I. wanted to ask you like how have you. looked at healing through romantic.

relationships that you've had we've. talked a lot about platonic friendship. family yeah and life but. romantic relationships tend to affect us. deeper I don't know if you agree with. that or feel that way but uh yeah I mean. I'm a sucker for love I love so much so. much so I'm excited to talk about this. with you because I know you are and I. think for me it's because it doesn't get. any closer to your heart than that you. know this is this is the type of. experience that isn't uh that's actually. chosen you're not born into you know.

you're not uh placed into this is a this. is a space of choice I I enjoy this. person I enjoy the time that's spent. with this person and I think that. there's so much to be revealed in a. dynamic like that about yourself. and you don't realize it because. sometimes you're so focused on the other. person on the other side that when you. realize like oh this is actually about. me too you know it it it's as close to. your heart as it gets and I think my.

healing in that is. the deepest it's gotten of how do I. exist in these spaces you know the the. self-accountability part the. self-reflective part of like what part. of me shows up in these spaces and going. to the parts work and stuff that I've. done in therapy it's just like yeah. it's powerful it's as I think it's it's. as powerful as I could ever get because. it's the most revealing of your weakness. of your weaknesses yeah and your.

vulnerabilities and and all of that. stuff and also maybe not your weaknesses. but also your strengths you know it can. show you like just how strong you are. how giving you can be to someone finding. parts of yourself that you didn't know. existed you know I think it's a very. inspiring space to be in uh I was. talking I was to say talk about this. with a friend but it funny enough is. somebody who also works in the industry. and she goes oh Amiga I used to be told. all the time that I'm so unlucky in love.

and I beg to differ I've been so lucky. in love and I'm like it's that that. change of of mindset of knowing that. like everything is happening for us not. to us and I think that when I think of. my journey of healing and relationships. you know some of my earliest. relationships and how I existed in them. and then the ones that I've had in like. my my you know teenage years young adult. years. um and how they evolve and how you. change so much so much what have you. done to that you'd encourage all the.

people to tend to to find that. strength within themselves and that. connection with themselves when it. almost feels like. the foundations are broken like those. three legs are just destroyed yeah well. are the three legs actually destroyed I. think it's like again it's a it's an. opportunity to reflect inward what is. real what is not real and going back to. like what's happening in the real world. versus what's happening what's happening. on social media. it's not always reflective of the same. thing you know and and one's experience.

and something can be so different than. someone else's but leaving room for. yours is super important and then also. being selective and who you share that. with because it is such a sacred thing. you know and I think that's been one of. the most revealing things for me in this. you know chapter of my life is like who. do I share with with everything who do I. share with who deserves to be in these. spaces with me in my pain in my peak in.

my process all of those things like I I. deserve to have filters I deserve to. hold space I deserve to just be and not. have to explain. you know and I and I think being a. person who's grown up on social media. there has been so many times in my life. where I've just been like no no. and then what you say how you say it who.

said it always gets mixed up always gets. used against you in some shape or form. and and I think for me it's just like no. I'm I'm good. because um my three legs are they're. good they've been solidified they're. being catered to they're being taken. care of and so my table is standing you. know and I'm I'm proud of that I'm very. proud of that to me it's. really powerful what you just said now. around the idea of.

we get so lost in a conversation that's. happening outside of us that isn't. actually reality and so almost we're. looking at the wrong things we're. arguing about the wrong things where. internally having a debate about. something that isn't the thing yep I. actually had a friend I was talking to. a week ago and we were discussing. you know he's been going through some. stuff and there was someone in his life. that.

he had some. rightful. animosity towards right like it would it. would be okay for him to feel this. certain way about it. and I was asking him what was the big. win and what was the ego in. um and I was asking him like what is. really the win in this situation and he. was saying the win in this situation is. that my family member can move on from. what they've been going through.

and I said what's the ego win and the. ego in was that person's life is ruined. right the other person that that they. were mad at yeah and it was really. interesting like just looking at it from. that perspective of like it's natural to. have the ego win become strong in a. situation but then when you look at the. bigger picture and you zoom out you're. like oh actually now when I make sense. of this that actually is irrelevant. to what I really care about does that. make any sense yeah 100 100 and so I. think to me it's I'm always reflecting.

on that like what's my ego win in this. scenario. and what's the bigger win in this. scenario and that only comes when you. take a step back and what you said you. look at the reality and you look at the. filter that you just talked about to me. that's the biggest one and I love how. you said it wasn't just about the pains. it was the Peaks it was a piece that's. so well said like yeah who's the first. person you want to call when you win. and who's the first person you call when. you want to lose yeah and there's a. filter to that there's a filter to that.

on on what the qualifications of someone. anyone in any way that comes into your. space and I think going again so crazy. everything goes back to my childhood of. just being like giving giving giving. giving when do you take. and not take just to take I mean like. receive you know like that to me is is. uh is is like the thing to really. be just thoughtful about and so those. filters are again constantly being.

reevaluated for me and that's why I say. growing up I'm not grown up I'm growing. up and I'm sure you know the same way I. felt this I felt such a strong sense of. self at 16 and I look back at her and. I'm like you better give me some of that. girlfriend I don't know what that was or. what you was on but you were you were. locked in but also not aware of what was. really out there in the world and so you. go out in the world and you see what's. out there and you're learning and you're. adapting and you're taking all these. things in and things start to feel a. little different your surroundings your.

circumstances they all shift. and then you know what that this is how. I feel at 26 who's to say I'm not going. to feel any different when I'm 36. you. know and then 46 and so on and so I. think just like leaving room again for. that like that humanness and that being. in process and the filters you know like. not the filters we see on social media. but the the real filters that matter you. know we can't just be drinking any water. interesting you think you're really sick. by drinking just any water you know but.

if also if you just drink only purified. water you're not getting the minerals. that you need you're not getting you. know so you can't you can't be too. guarded yeah because then that's a very. lonely space to live in you know to have. these walls that no one could ever get. through. but but if you have no walls. you have no no boundaries no anything. and everyone and anyone can come in. whenever they want to I don't think. that's a way to live life either you. know so uh I I like to think of the um. the the house that I was born into.

had no roof sometimes you know maybe. some of the doors were a little funky. there's no locks on the doors and and. the windows are a little broken. but there comes a time when you grow up. and you can say I don't have to live in. this house anymore I can go build a new. house I can build my own house where the. windows I can open and close them as I. want to. check the blinds or let in the light. there's locks on my doors I can let. people in and share in my in my space. and share a meal with them and and even.

if they'd like to move into my house. because I choose for them to to be in. the house beautiful but also there's. locks on my door so not just anybody can. come into my house you know knowing that. knowing that I I've provided a roof over. my head that yeah if it rains we're good. we're fine you know it can it can come. Crashing Down. and I will be safe I think that's that's. beautiful like we're all building our. own houses that look very different than.

the houses we grew up in that is so. powerful Becky G just off his shoulder. that was like thank you that was right. no that was so powerful like I love that. analogy it's so it's so true there are. some people you only meet in restaurants. there are some people who may get to the. porch of the front door there are some. people who make it inside to the living. room there are some people who you cook. a meal for some people just order in for. and there's some people who not. everyone's allowed into your private.

spaces your bedroom you know like I. think for people to know that they can. set how intimate they want to be with. different people yeah and that there. isn't a. policy that exists outside of that it's. something you have to set for yourself. is is such an important thing to remind. people because I think people feel. forced through stages they feel. uncomfortable through the different. steps and. for you I mean you just referred to the. home I was wondering I think it was was.

it when you were nine years old that the. home you grew up in yeah that was I was. uh oh it didn't burn down so the economy. at the time was just it was a very scary. time it was a recession happening and I. just think that you know at the time my. parents were so young they had no idea. they were first-time homeowners no idea. really what type of mortgage they had. gotten you know committed to and. you hope for the best but not. necessarily prepared for the worst you. know this is one of those things where I. think. I mean thank God for our families that.

we had like this family support that we. had because. we lost everything we we lost our home I. went from having like my my first own. bedroom like most of most of my life I. shared uh up until that point I'd shared. a bedroom with my siblings all three of. them and so I remember this house that. we were living in it was the first year. I had ever had my own room and I was so. excited I was like this is what Lizzie. McGuire has this is what like all the. girls on Disney Channel they get to put. posters up on their wall and they get to.

like you know rhinestone their closets. and whatever and and I just remember. like being so excited about moving into. that house and then when we lost it just. feeling like oh well that that didn't. last for very long I think like. subconsciously that started something in. my mind that felt like oh when you have. good things they go away. nothing lasts forever so don't hold on. to it too tight and I'm thankful for. like the flexibility that that gave me. in life but it also makes me very sad.

for my younger self that really believed. that everything good that happened to me. came with a really hard price to pay you. know so like if you have good things oh. you gotta be ready gotta be ready for. something that you know the the for the. shoe to drop and uh and so we moved into. my grandparents converted Garage in. Inglewood. uh where I was born and it was a garage. I would say the size of the studio. actually and it was all six of us my mom. my dad uh my two brothers and my sister.

and there was bunk beds I slept on the. bottom bunk with my sister and my. brothers up top and my parents on the. futon bed that you know they would make. a couch during the day so we'd have a. little bit more room and we had a pop-up. table from Ikea that I would do my. homework on and eat my cereal that was. the knockoff brand of Cocoa Puffs not. the real one all to all to fast forward. to the day that I decided you know I. want to do this I was obsessed with. which is really funny to me I mentioned. Lizzie McGuire blonde. white girl I mentioned I was obsessed.

with Shirley Temple young blonde white. girl I was obsessed with Dakota Fanning. blonde white girl I don't know what it. was but it was something about how young. they were and how like empowered they. were and they were doing these like very. adult things you know they were like. they were the the heroes of the stories. that they were doing and and and acting. and I just I remember thinking like oh I. want to do that like I wanna and shout. out to the internet I go on Google and I.

look up like what do you need to do or. what who represents Dakota Fanning and. all these things like how do you become. an actress and. um my first agency that I signed with uh. at nine years old was osbrink agency. shout out to my first ages and at the. time they were representing Dakota. Fanning and I did not know what the heck. a monologue was I didn't know what head. shots were I didn't know any of that was. uh but I just knew I really wanted to. learn I really wanted to do this and a. huge shout out to my parents too because.

again they knew nothing about this they. had three other kids you know to take. care of too and the drive from Inglewood. to Hollywood is is you know with traffic. especially it's not not very close L.A. County's big but they really supported. me through that and I have like a little. like I printed out a little contract to. my parents and I said give me six months. just six months and maybe yeah if. nothing happens then like okay like you. know that's fine like I'll leave you. alone we'll Pretend This Never Happened.

or we can renegotiate our terms now we. can renegotiate our terms after six. months if all goes well. and yeah going back to just like that. instinct that agency that empowerment. that I felt to just like to do this. thing that no one in my family had ever. done like there was really no point of. reference. and I'm glad I did it because I look. back at the garage which is like still a. real place where my family still lives. you know there's there's a lot of things.

up there my Grandma has a couple of like. little Shrine things of like oh you know. I'm like Grandma this isn't a museum. yeah there's people walking around the. house like is that the house the back. you lived in my grandma's like. absolutely I'm like no very Sacred Space. um but yeah it's like it's crazy to like. look back at and think like this is you. know this is where it all started that. Fire Within me that felt like no I can. really do this. let's let's try this that's so. spectacular that's special that's. special how so many Big Dreams start.

from so many small places and and small. places within us too yep and I was gonna. ask you that like how have you now that. you're building this new home. that has Windows that work and there's. doors that have locks. what's changed about how. you. decide and Define how. someone gets to get closer to you and. and connected to you like what has.

changed what has evolved what have you. learned growing up about who you allow. close yeah I think it's like again it. comes back to knowing that anything has. to be concrete you know you can you can. Vibe with people you can enjoy Beautiful. Moments with people. um and then and then the moment that. something doesn't feel right you can. speak to that and everything is always. to me always owed a conversation you. know I've had friendships in my life. that just in all honesty I I outgrew and. there's all love and it was a. conversation and it's sometimes that.

simple but I think it's just like. leaving room for that growth just like. it's Gonna Change that's the point like. we grow like we change going back to the. ice cream seven years ago was chocolate. today it's frozen yogurt I still have my. back because I love chocolate. again but you know like you're literal. like you're even your physical body. changes why wouldn't our minds and our.

hearts also expand and change in those. ways too you know so I think it's like. and it's not just in the way that I hope. to be received by other people but it's. just it's also like or like how I hold. space for other people so also like. being around people who hold that same. space for me you know like I think. understanding that these are like Mutual. spaces right like it's empowering when. you're like oh this is a choice yeah. like I get to choose to be here you got. to choose to be here like and we're here. together like that to me has been the.

most beautiful part of my like Evolution. and healing is like man like when I go. on tour and my fans buy their tickets. because they chose to be there like you. know the same way I chose to walk onto. that stage like let's not Rob ourselves. of that like empowerment that agency. that we have over our lives to decide to. choose what's good for you what's best. for you what motivates you what inspires. you and that can be the bad things that.

could be the hard things that could be. that because there's no such thing as. good bad uh whatever you know it's it. just is um. you know when I'm speaking to you and I. love this and I love it when I get to. experience it in someone because I think. it's quite rare but you would just have. such a like strong spirit. of just like positivity mindset like you. obviously you're working on all of these. things as we've been talking about today. and I love seeing it be so tough in.

someone not I'm not saying that of. course like you said you cried this. morning. I'm not saying without I'm actually more. tough I'm not saying tough in the sense. that there isn't any pain or stress of. course to and to me the display of. to yourself of pain is even tougher to. be able to admit to yourself that hey. I'm working on this stuff. how have you. stayed so open to that mindset of trust.

and forgiveness for yourself and others. when it almost seems like there's so. many reasons to not be that way yeah if. that makes sense well I think it's just. going back to like it makes it makes it. easier for our human mind to see things. in black and white right it makes our. life easier but actually it doesn't I. feel like it cuts a short from the. experience that we're supposed to have. like I I believe in karmic energy I. believe that like we are here for a. reason you know there's there's we're. here on purpose there's a purpose to our.

pain to our our happiness to our. greatest Joys to our anger there's. purpose to all of it and so I think just. like really allowing yourself to be open. to it is is where I think I find it it's. like it is that story of the father and. his son like I. don't think that there's these practices. that have been around for like. generations and generations and decades. you know. to think that like yeah it's just a.

bunch of Hocus Pocus you know like I I. just don't I don't think so like I think. that's why I have a hard time trusting. like the power of technology sometimes. that's a whole other conversation but it. hasn't been around long enough for me to. really understand what this is and what. it's capable of and the impacts that it. has like I said on the future. Generations like it is it's intimidating. and I think but you got to be open to it. because if it cuts our processing time. you know by half and our kids can learn. more that's that's great but I believe.

in Balance I believe that we need. balance as human beings and I think that. there's just so much more to this life. than just being like well I don't like. you it's like okay well maybe there's. something in that person that you don't. like that actually reflects something. that you don't like about yourself but. you're not ready for that conversation. you know some people just aren't and. that's totally fine but I am that person. like put yeah I love it I really do yeah. yeah yeah I can sense that I could tell.

that and it's it's fun to watch I I. think it's it's really meaningful to see. in someone you've talked about having. guardian angels and I wanted to ask you. when do you feel most connected to your. guardian angels oh. um ah I feel like my faith journey is. very interesting because it was. something that I was introduced to again. at a very very young age because I grew. up in a very religious family my mom was. kind of the one to break that up for us. which I'm very thankful for because it. allowed me the opportunity to kind of.

find it on my own instead of it be. something that was forced because like. my mom I remember many times she taught. me stories you know your grandma would. just uh call us in we'd be like playing. outside having the time of our lives. like kids don't even play outside. anymore you know but here here there we. were like playing outside and my mom. would make us come inside and pray the. rosary and we'd be like again come on. Grandma come on Mom you know and and. what I loved is like as a kid I would. have so many questions like I'd tell my.

mom like you know sometimes when I was. little this is very funny my grandma. would sometimes be like kind of. insinuate like oh you know people don't. go to church or like they're on the. they're on the bad list the naughty list. right and and so my mom would be like. you know how grandma is you know we're. gonna go to yosito's house you know. which was like to go to church we're. gonna go to this I'm like why doesn't. diocito come to our house like why can't. he come to our house like what's this. concept of us having to go to him why. can't he come to us like challenging. these things all the time and I just.

remember just thinking like no. spirituality is a mutual connection with. sores with greater sores and for me my. connection with God is just like. yeah like he loves me regardless there's. times where I pray and I mean some of. the stuff that I share I'm just like. you know what I mean you know what I. mean you know and I think that that's. like I love that for me that I was able. to discover that that faith and and I. feel so protected and in some of the. moments that are so simple you know I.

mean not just like in my moments of deep. like confusion or like pain when I am. challenged to like surrender that. control right when I say I practice like. go let God but even just like when I'm. by myself in my house like making my. coffee and I'm playing like I don't know. a certain song will come on like on my. playlist and I'm just like that's my. grandpa I know it like I know it you. know or today a big thing for me is uh. is dragonflies I have a dragonfly tattoo. and they they definitely represent.

something very significant for me and I. mean for months now on the way here. [Music]. I love that that's beautiful and it's. it's wonderful to have these. notes and signs and you know moments. that make us feel aligned we all need. them in in some capacity and I think we. we all look for them because we're all. trying to feel connected to something. higher and bigger and. more powerful than ourselves whatever it.

may be whether it's in the world or. whether it's beyond and it's it's nice. hearing about your spiritual journey and. how it's evolved because. it is so personal and there's a. beautiful. there's a beautiful statement I believe. it's. I believe it was said by David Lynch. and he said that prayer is you talking. to God and meditation is God talking to. you and I've always loved that that idea. of the god of God Universe whatever you. call it but the idea that prayer is when.

you're speaking and meditation is when. you're listening yes and that. communication is mutual as you said it's. this two-way connection it's not a one. way as it's often portrayed or comes. across and I really find that as well. that sometimes my job is to stop talking. and just to listen yep and so often. we're just talking too much or trying to. figure it all out or problem solving and. that listening ability is so lost in the. art of communication a hundred percent.

yeah yeah it's it's that's why I said. you know everything is always a. conversation I think that's how we. should look at even things I can't talk. back to me my my dogs that live in my. mom's house you know I love them so much. there is a mutual love they can't. necessarily talk back to me but I listen. I take the time to like connect with. them you know know but I think it's. about being that type of you know. intentional. type of person I guess when when you're. having these daily practices and that's. why I think when I like meditate like. there was like a shift instead of saying.

what do I want what what do I feel right. now it's like what do you want like it's. sir you have to ask your subconscious. you have to bring parts of yourself. full word you know to really receive. what that is because our psyche's like. is crazy there's certain things that I. have unpacked in therapy I was like oh. I didn't even remember that that. happened you know like and it's it's. because our minds are very powerful our. minds were designed to protect us right.

like our human body. wants to survive and avoid death at all. costs but our spirit needs death our. spirit needs death the the thing of. giving up something to then have a. rebirth of something else to gain. something else like you have to be. willing to do that you know like there's. so many parts of myself that I think you. know I I have kind of like resolved with.

and it's beautiful to look back at like. that's that skin that I needed to shed. that's a beautiful thing but there's. like you know Parts in that that. probably people I grew up with people. that knew me to be a certain way that. was more beneficial for them. um would probably be like she changed. yeah like no I did I actually did I did. change you know and that I don't think. that's a bad thing so it's funny how. yeah Spirit can need something different. than like what our body is like designed.

for and you're like no no it's not the. literal thing it's it's the shedding you. know it's the shedding that needs to. happen yeah. thank you it's been such a joy talking. to you today and I'm so glad that we've. finally connected in this way and we've. got to share your abundant energetic. spirit with everyone through this so. much episode and I'm hoping that. everyone who listens to it can kind of. you know walk away feeling that. positive energy through your voice. through your energy into them as well. because I really feel like it's come. across for me too like you just yeah you.

just have this spark and I'm hoping that. everyone today got to feel a bit of it. but we end every on-purpose episode with. our final five which is a question that. has to be answered in one word to one. sentence maximum so Becky G these are. your final five uh the first question is. what is the best advice you've ever. heard or received you miss a hundred. percent of the shots you never take um I. think that's one sentence right yeah. yeah that's good I was like it's. supposed to really be one word that.

works no no one way to one sentence is. fine uh question number two what is the. worst advice you've ever heard or. received. I don't know I'm that per I'm that. positive Patty I'm like even those. negative things they're a positive thing. ah I would say. um. just make sure you really think about it. it's like no you could overthink it yeah. that's what I would say just make sure. you really think about it really think. about what you're saying yeah or really. think about you know what it is that. you're asking for no no I trust my gut. I'd say probably that's the worst advice.

you should really think about that yeah. got it. uh question number three. what is something you're currently. trying to unlearn. definitely people pleasing what's the. hardest part about giving it up. uh it's just second nature you don't. even realize like how you practice that. on a daily basis you know like I said. growing up in this industry just it it I. feel like there's a lot of child stars. that are set up to not be very.

successful as adults who are trying to. take agency over their own life. and so uh just knowing that like your. feelings matter how you feel matters and. also not everybody needs to participate. in that mm-hmm and that even if you. spend your whole life trying to please. everyone chances are they'll still be. upset with you yeah for something else. yeah and again maybe it has more to do. with them than it does you so totally. yeah great all right question number. four.

what's something that you used to value. that isn't important anymore. um. I would say like the Optics. of what it is to. OK the Limelight. like going back to like that thing that. like oh everybody needs to like you and. like you know you gotta you gotta Feed. the Beast or whatever I don't I don't. think I really value that anymore I. value like my my personal peace more. than anything else I like that yeah.

beautiful Fifth and final question if. you could create one law that everyone. in the world had to follow what would it. be oh that everybody. practiced and had access to some form of. therapy yeah I'd love for to be able to. help that happened yes yeah the access. to to Resource I think is is very. crucial but I think I would make that. like immediate like starting today sign. on the dotted line like I think we all. deserve safe spaces.

I don't think we have enough of them. well said Becky G everyone thank you so. much Maggie for having so much presence. openness vulnerability with us here. today and everyone who's been listening. and watching make sure you tag me and. Becky with your favorite moments I love. seeing what stuck with you maybe what's. helped you maybe something you're gonna. pass on to a friend because you know. they need to hear it I know Becky and I. would love to see that please make sure. you do that and Becky thank you so much. I can't wait for Evan to go and stream.

let's get us right now uh it's available. if you're listening right now you can go. stream right right now so go to. everywhere you listen to music uh and go. and listen in but thank you so much. Becky thank you I really appreciate you. so much thank you so much if you love. this episode you'll really enjoy my. episode with Selena Gomez on befriending. your inner critic and how to speak to. yourself with more compassion my fears. are only going to continue to show me. what I'm capable of the more that I face.

my fears the more that I feel I'm. gaining strength I'm gaining wisdom and. I just want to keep doing that.