ALICIA KEYS Reveals 5 Daily Rituals To Calm Your Nervous System

I felt like I had to protect myself from. being hurt from people that I love. a special guest in the building. 90 million records sold. 16-time Grammy winning musician. Alicia Keys. You're going to get to that pole. You see that light? After the pole, you're going to get to that light. You. see that tree after the light? You're. going to get to that tree. And I. discovered that that is how we get where. we're going. If there's something that. you love, go after it cuz it's meant for. you.

The number one health and wellness. podcast. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. The. one, the only, Jay Shetty. Hey everyone, welcome back to On. Purpose, the place you come to become. happier, healthier, and more healed. I'm. so grateful for the amazing. conversations that I get to have, which. are all about human evolution, growth, purification, and cleansing. Today's. guest is someone who has talked about. this at length in her amazing memoir, in. her documentaries, in so many forms. And.

today I'm so excited that we finally. have her on the podcast in the flesh, in. person. Although her voice and her. energy speaks through the microphone at. any time. Today's guest is the one, the. only, Alicia Keys. A 16-time Grammy. Award winning singer. Let me say that. again. 16-time Grammy Award winning. singer, songwriter, musician, producer, founder of Keys Soulcare, which you'll. be hearing about today, New York Times. best-selling author, film, television,

and Broadway producer as well, accomplished actress, entrepreneur, and. a powerful force in the world of. activism. Alicia is one of the original. founders of She Is the Music, an. initiative to create change for women. and build an equal future for music. Alicia sold over 65 million records, over 5 billion streams, and built an. unparalleled repertoire of hits and. accomplishments. Hell's Kitchen, the. 13-time Tony Award nominated original.

stage musical, Alicia diligently worked. for 13 years to create. Opened on. Broadway at the Shubert Theatre on April. 20th, 2024. Today we're talking about Alicia's. holistic beauty and skin care line, Keys. Soulcare, which I can't wait for you all. to try. Welcome to On Purpose, Alicia. Keys. That's so weird. Like when you do. all of that, there's something about it. that's just so fascinating. And just wow. And thank you for having.

me and I can't believe we're in the. flesh for the first time on this show. On this show. what I mean? This is so good and I love. your show and I love your your your. life's purpose. It's so beautiful. So. thank you for having me in your space. I'm loving this. You've been so. wonderful to me over the years, honestly. We've had such a sweet. relationship whenever we've. collaborated. Right. And from day one, you've always. been so giving, but seeing as you. reacted to that in that way, I wonder. whether little Alicia, if she saw that.

that was her life ahead, what would have. been her reaction if she heard all of. those things were going to happen in her. life? Like you're lying. Like you're lying, right? I mean, you know, as a kid, I really do remember having these dreams. and and and and visions and desires and. wishes, but. you just don't know what is going to. come for you. You don't know what's.

in your world or what's going to come. into your world and I think a lot of. times we are built to doubt the. possibilities for ourselves. And so if. for self-preservation and protection, we. say, "I mean, it's probably not going to. be that way for me." Or, you know, you. know how it goes for me. You do these. things and I remember doing these. things, and it wasn't until I stopped. doing those things that things really. started change. So, I still have a piece. of inside of me that that is that little.

girl that's kind of like. you know, you protect you want to. protect what might go wrong. And and so, I find that I I do that. sometimes, which maybe is what happened. when you just rattled off all those. things, and I was a little bit like, "That is so crazy and weird and strange. and amazing at the same time." Yeah, well, that's very relatable, I think, for people to hear that right now, to. think that there was a time in your life. where doubts and anxiety and fear would.

creep in. Further, it always exists for. all of us, but that it controlled a part. of your life. What were some of the. doubts and fears and anxieties you had. growing up, whether it was to your. dreams or whether it was to life in. general? Yeah, what do you mean about what. when you were on a How about yesterday? You know what I mean? How about like 3. days ago? Like. Um as a kid growing up, I think some of. my fears really circulated around um I. remember I felt I felt fearful that I.

wouldn't. or I felt like I had to protect myself. from being hurt from people that I. loved. I remember that that that was a. that was a thing, and I had to figure my. my way through that. There was a sense. of of lack that I. was worried about. I was worried about. this state of lack or not having enough. money or not having enough not being. able to hold on to what you started to. get or things like that. I I had to do a. lot of work around that. That was a lot.

That was a big one because I mean, you. really can perpetuate that cycle just. simply by the fact that you believe it. can happen. You know, and so, that was a. big one. Um I think that, you know, there's a there's a lot of there There a. lot of fear or or anxiety or worry. around rejection, you know, there was a. lot of that. Especially as I started to. become more some a public figure where. people, you know, could kind of choose. to like or dislike. There was a It was a.

difficult journey to understand that you. you're never going to please everyone, period. And you're going to spend your. you're going to tear yourself apart. trying to like make sure every single. thing is the way someone else wants it. to be. But I had a lot of fear about. that, and I really it was it was a. struggle for me, and I, you know, I. wanted to be accepted. I wanted to be. liked. I wanted to be, you know, I. wanted to hear a positive reflection. back to me, you know? And so it took a.

long time to kind of be like, yeah, I don't I can't. depend on that, you know, I have to find. my own stability. I have to find my own. intuition. I have to find what I believe. in. And at least I can stand on that. At. least I can say, "I really believe that. one, you know?" If it didn't work out, but I really believed it, and I'm proud. of it, you know what I mean? And that's. a big one, you know, if talk about even. yesterday, I mean, Hell's Kitchen, where. we talked about Hell's Kitchen, which is. my musical, which has been a big dream.

in the making. There were moments where I'm like, is. this going to work? Like, what if the. whole I have this whole vision. I know. what I want, but what if for some reason. the whole thing doesn't go the way I. want? What does that mean? I mean, you. have. many, many, many dollars. You have. investors that you promised them to. trust you. Can I carry this? Can I hold this? Can I. manifest this? Terrifying. I mean, I would speak to my. kids about it just because I wanted them.

to know. that it's scary, you know, it's scary to. dream. And but does that mean I'm not. going to dream it or not going to try. it? No, I have to. So, tons of things have been that. I I feel. like so many people are listening right. now would say, "Alicia, I feel the same. way. I talk to myself in my head and I. think I can't do it. I'm not meant for. it. It's it's not going to happen for. me." And at the same time they have this. voice inside of them that says, "You're.

made for more. You're made of more. I know I need to believe in myself." And. we kind of feel this internal battle. How did you What was the work you had to. do in order to go from someone who was. anxious, doubtful, to become someone who. manifested this beautiful, incredible, full life. Not that it's easy, not that. it came. immediately, but what was the work in. the beginning stages that you had to. reorient your mind? That's a great question. I think one of. the things that I had to come to terms.

with is that pretty much nothing is. going to come in the time frame that you. think it's going to come. So, that's And that's helpful cuz I. think a lot of us are. you know, I mean, we're in such a. digital space and we see all these. things and we're bombarded with all. these. images and we're bombarded with all. these kind of like carefully crafted. posts of perfection and. you get freaked out about it. You're. like, "But I'm You know, and. unfortunately, I didn't really have to.

grow up looking at that." So, I. empathize deeply with this generation. We have to We have to evolve as young. people on a whole other level than I. even had to navigate. But, what I mean. by and why why it relates is um I did I. felt like I've grew up in New York City. Everybody's a hustler. You got to go. fast. You got to make it happen. You got. to stay up all night and get up crack of. dawn and it's not going to happen if you. don't and I realized, "Wait, you know,

as as hard as I try to push the thing. forward, when it's time, it's time. And if it's. not time, it don't matter what I do. It. doesn't matter how much sleep I don't. get. It's not going to be time until it's. time. And so, I think that. that steadiness of like kind of you just. have to put one foot in front of the. other. It's just as simple as that. And. I remember when I did my first marathon, I ran in Greece and I figured I'd never. do another marathon, so I might as well. do something unforgettable.

But I could I couldn't figure out how I. was going to make it. Everything hurt. My feet hurt, my back. hurt, my lower back hurt, my abs hurt, my body ached, and I couldn't figure out. how am I going to get there? And I remember I was running with my. friend who was to train with me and. helped me and and he said, "You see that. pole? You're going to get to that pole. You see that light? After the pole, you're going to get to that light. You. see that tree after the light? You're. going to get to that tree." And I It was. literally that step-by-step. And so, I I.

discovered that that is how we get where. we're going. Like this increment of. small, determined moments. And And so, I think. that as well as coupled with. taking that negative talk out of your. space. Like being very conscious. It happens. It's in your head. You hear. it. You're like, tell yourself the opposite thing. I. mean, that's how I started to really get. into affirmations,

which. I I I realized that I had to create what. I wanted to hear. And oftentimes it's so many times it's. the barrage of. everyone else's doubts and fears and. your parents, you inherited theirs, and. you inherited all your peers' things, and you you got all these things inside. you that are not even yours. And so, I had to create this connection. with affirmations that allowed me to say. what I wanted to hear. And so, I had to. become very mindful to notice the.

negative so that I could replace it. And. when I did that, it really changed everything. It changed. a bunch and I had to stop saying things. that I heard my mother say. I had to stop saying things that I heard. whoever else I trusted say because it. wasn't serving me. Cuz she had picked up. some stuff. that I didn't need to pick up. I didn't. need to hold it. Stuff like that has. been how. Yeah. How many marathons have. you done now? I've done two and. I did Greece and I did New York. Yeah,

wow. And I realized the craziest thing, I. realized that what I was experiencing, that ache, that pain, that lower back, the thing, was childbirth. Oh. I didn't know that cuz the first. time I hadn't given birth, but when I. gave birth, I recognized the sensations. and it was similar to a marathon. Wow. kind of crazy, but there was a strength. there that, you know, was really. empowering. So, only two. My brother's. trying to get me to do another one. I'm. like, "Nah, B. I'm not doing it.".

My wife's doing London this year, I. think, for the first time. She's been. training. It's cool. Yeah, it's cool. it, it's phenomenal and you really you. really discover that it's that your mind. is stronger than your your physical. being. And you really can find this. place that you didn't know you could. Absolutely. What was your affirmation. this morning? My affirmation depends on. the day, right? So, today my affirmation. is just I'm going to be on time.

Because I struggle to get my kids to. school on time. It's killing me. My my youngest son has just changed. schools and he's going to another. school. So, now I'm taking both kids to. two separate places. Oh, god. I'm struggling. And my second. affirmation is I forgive myself. Mhm. It's okay. Like grace. Have grace with. yourself. You're trying your best. It's. not like you're messing around and doing. whatever. You're really trying your best. and you're going to figure out the. rhythm of this thing. Have some grace. I.

love those. They're so practical. I. think all of us could do all of them. Right? They're great. Yeah, and the time. one's funny cuz that reminds me of my. mom. My mom had to do the same for me. and my sister. Cuz I went to an all boys school and she. went to an all girls school. And so my. mom would have to drop her. and then drop me or the other way around. sometimes. It is it's it's more than a. notion. You think I could do this if I. just leave by this time and for whatever. reason that time comes and goes over and. over. Yeah. So, it's all good. But I love how simple. that is. Like I think a lot of people. also think affirmations always have to.

be this. profound like incredible statement and. you're like it's just to be on time. And. it's to forgive myself. And that's so. real because we need to forgive. ourselves every day. Yeah, it's okay. It's okay. It's really okay. So, you know, cuz you want the best. You. want the best for yourself. You want the. best for your family. You You want the. best outcome, you know, and and it all. comes from a good place, but I think. sometimes we can beat ourselves up so. badly about things that, you know, we.

can just give ourselves a little bit of. a break and it's we can start again and. try again and. it's okay. was the last thing you beat yourself up. about really badly where you were like I. really made myself feel. uncomfortable? You know, I really try. not to do that. I really do. Like I. really I feel like I have a pretty good. sense. of. self. And I feel like I have a pretty good. sense also of like reality. And so I I don't over obsess.

and I don't over kind of like I'm not. overly mean to myself, but I did think. about that the other day. And I did I did this. I didn't put it up yet, but I did this I. do these things called piece of peace. And and. I call this speak to me nice. Cuz. you not going to let someone else talk. to you just any type of way. You're like, "Excuse me? How did you. just. You just speak to me nice." But you. yourself will speak to yourself.

in these crazy ways. And so I kind of. was like just reflecting on you telling. yourself, me telling myself, "Speak to. me nice. Like talk to me with kindness. and love." I learned that from my son a. lot because my youngest, he is he's he's. like he's a little tough on himself and. I'm like, "Hey, speak to yourself nice.". And so I think that is something that. I've that I've learned how to embody and. I really try not to spin out too much. But um you know, there are times, of.

course. You just you know, you But I'm. like, "This is really doing no good. I'm. really freaking out." And I'm just like, "Why? What are we doing in this space in. this cycle?" Yeah. Sometimes you got to freak out though. Yeah. Cuz you got to learn something from it. You have to like take away whatever that. is or that energy or that person who's. spinning you like that or or that. trigger that's triggering you like that. And you do have to kind of spin out just. to be like, "Whoa, that actually gets to. me a lot. Why?" I've been learning a lot. of that, too. If I don't make sure I'm.

good, how can I make sure anybody is. good ever? And so spending time with. myself was a I fought against it so. much. But when I started to do it, I. realized that I was more powerful than. I'd ever been. You really have to take. care of your soul. No one's going to do. it for me. There is an addiction that I. think comes with this idea of having to. fill every minute and fill every second. If we stay as busy as possible, we are like literally we don't even have.

time to think about those things. I. always like to remind people that guilt. blocks growth. Mhm. doesn't help you shift. And judgment. doesn't help you transform. Guilt blocks growth completely. It makes. you wallow more in your guilt and shame. makes you feel stuck and shackled by it. Yes. And transformation is stunted when we're. not able to be nice, kind, give. ourselves grace. And it's funny because.

we almost think we can guilt ourselves. into moving. We're like, "Oh, if I guilt. myself enough, then maybe I'll change.". motivated. Maybe I'll be motivated. Maybe you will. for like a couple of days. But over time it runs out. If you shame. yourself into change, maybe for a couple. of days you'll eat better, work out. more, whatever it is that you have your. personal challenges with, but it's not. sustainable. Like shame and guilt are. not sustainable emotions and they run. out of steam very quickly. Right. And I was thinking about something that.

you've spoken about before is your. journey with your own skin. And like how you've had skin anxiety. And I know at one point you went. completely like no makeup at one period. of time in your life and then now of. course you have this, you know, you're. in the beauty industry now as well and. you really care about how people care. about their internal. and. the casing that we all have. Yeah. And I. know that you, you know, live a. conscious, spirited life, which I really. want to dive into, but. I think often those of us who live.

spiritual lives, we can be quite. negligent of our casing Mhm. and you can you can kind of disconnect. from it, maybe. disconnect from it. Yeah, disconnect. from it. Right. Right. And so I wanted to ask. you, how is your relationship changed. with your skin that was something that. brought you anxiety? Oh my gosh. I mean. in your skin? I mean it I it was. forever. It was literally forever. um that I really struggled with my with.

my skin. And and you know, you're a. teenager and your hormones and you get. it and it's cool. And then all of a. sudden I was like 18 and then I was 23. and then I was 28 and then I was 30, and. then I was like 35, and I'm like, "Whoa, when does this thing stop? Like, when?". I thought like 16, 18, 21, maybe. Why is. it continuing? And it was really hard. to, especially to be in spaces where you. would present yourself, and you would. feel just so self-conscious. I just felt.

so self-conscious, and I'm like, "But. there's a big bump right here." And then. most people are like, "I don't even see. the damn bump." But I see the bump right. here, and it's huge. And it feels really uncomfortable, you. know? You You just feel uncomfortable. You want to know why, too. You want to. know what's the matter. Is something. wrong? Why What am I thought I'm. What What can I do to help this? And um. And so, that definitely caused me a lot.

of anxiety. I I started in the music. world when I was uh. 18. And so, that was right at kind of at. the precipice, and then the the stress. of the whole universe of music was just. so much, and I was trying my best to. play it cool. I'm like, "I can handle. it. I can do it." But it was stressful. It was a whole new world. I had to carry. a a new weight on my shoulders, and and. try to, you know, kind of like be calm. while or cool while doing it. And it And. it was tricky. And my skin I I learned.

that my body reacts to stress. Our. bodies react to stress. My personal body. physically reacts to stress. Many of our. personal bodies do this, which is. obviously why even many diseases come to. us from stress, because. physically it's a physical manifestation. of this feeling, um which is why it is. so important for us to figure out like. what gives you peace, what calms you. down, what makes you feel.

safe, and. like you're in your skin, and you're. yourself, and these type of things. And. so, of course I didn't know what that. was for a long time, but I realized that. it was these relationships I was. attracting and it was the you know the. level of commitment I was. agreeing to that left no space for me to. reflect or to sleep or to be with my. friends and you know do those have those. outlets that do give you a sense of of.

calm. And and so my skin was so reactive. that I said one day to myself if if I. one day I'm going to make something that. fixes this this. I'm going to do something about this. because I know I'm not the only one and. I realized as I began to you know live. and experience so many different parts. of my life, motherhood and. you know raising young kids and finding.

time for yourself I real and getting rid. of those toxic energies that were. attacking me in real life I realized. that you really have to take care of. your soul. Like like you have to take care of your. soul. So this philosophy of soul care. really came from all of these. understandings and all of these. realizings that no one's going to do it. for me. Like no as much as I really. really wish someone would stand up and. be like you, you're not good for her get.

out of here. That thing you you need to stop. No, I. have to be the judge of that and. therefore have to find my way to the. understanding of how do I hear myself to. know what is good and what is not or. what is real or what is true or and so. there were many things that brought me. to that place. Some of them were. meditations that brought me there and. really brought me to a more intuitive. space. Some of them were just practicing. the art of like no, what do you think? No, I know six friends said this.

Or I know that very strong energy that. always tells everybody what they think. said this, but what do you think? And that became the practice of soul. care and and also these ideas of ancient. rituals and. what are some special ways that we can. have peace and calm and I was attracted. to crystals and their powers and their. meanings. I was attracted to journaling. and I have a very difficult time as a. kid I had a difficult time expressing my. truth. And I realized that when I would.

journal or do these stream of. consciousness, I could I could actually. just release it. I could let it go and. if I'm not good at doing that to someone. else cuz I didn't trust as fully. um I can do it with myself, you know? And so these these practices of how do. you kind of like depend on yourself to. find your own grounding became my idea. of what soul care is, which eventually. became how I said I'm going to make that. thing to fix that thing. Became this key soul care and and the. idea was to me it's a philosophy. It's a.

way of life. It's a lifestyle. To me, you know, um you know, the beauty. industry or skin care industry, just. like the music industry, all of it is. kind of creating how to live within the. chaos. And so how do we do it? Nobody. teaches us normally. It's a blessing if. someone does, but normally it's not. So. finding these ways through affirmations, through the idea of really connecting to. yourself and using the affirmations are.

on every bottle because the idea is you. wash your face, you do that every day. with the golden cleanser, you can also think about how I'm devoted. to this moment because so many times. we're over here, over there, back there, over there. How can you just be right here with. yourself right now? And so the idea is. like creating this mixture of ancient. rituals and where skin meets soul. and soul care cuz we have air care, hair. care, nail care, body care, home care, but we never had soul care. Why?

So, we want to I want to start it. Yeah, that's so beautiful. I mean, I I. couldn't agree more as someone who. was very negligent of a lot of this. stuff like growing up and not really. thinking about it. I've seen the value. of. I'm a big fan of affirmations. I think even when it comes to. cleansing my face, what that means, what. that feels like, how different I feel. internally because of it, how it can be. a reminder to continue to cleanse and.

detox the soul as well as that which is. around me. There's. there's so much of that connection from. body, mind, spirit, and soul that that I. think we we lose and we don't realize. how interconnected they all are. What. you were saying about stress I found. really powerful because. so for me, my stress shows up as. tightness in my body. Like I feel my. stress is like it gets stored in my neck. or my shoulders. And then I'm just. feeling tight even though I was like, I. didn't know I was stressed. I didn't.

know what I was going through. And as. you were saying, for some people it. shows up in their skin. I was going to. ask you, there's a bit of an addiction. we also have to stress and drama. And there's this feeling sometimes where. we prefer it when we have stress and. busyness and we're workaholics and we. like the drama and almost when there's. peace, we almost get confused and lost. because. scared even. Exactly, we get scared. All. right, so. what would you say to someone who's. actually they're listening to us right. now and they're like, "Wow, I just.

realized that's that's who I am. I. I actually like I choose stress Do you. think people come to that realization? think people do it consciously, but I. think unconsciously when I sit with. people, they'll find that their. inherited. choice is to naturally stay busy, work a. lot, uh create drama in their relationship, whatever it is, because we're more used. to it. Not because we're bad people or. because we're wrong, but because we kind.

of feel familiar. And and I'll give you the opposite. example. I have lots of friends who'll. be like, "Oh, I'm dating this guy and. it's really peaceful. I'm bored.". And so there's that, right? Where people. actually have like peace and stillness. and connection, we're like, Yeah. Because there's nothing to talk about. So So I don't think it's something that. people do on purpose and I don't think. it's something that people even do it. consciously. But I think we do like to. stay busy and stressed to some degree. I. I I am familiar with that as well and I.

kind of was just telling you that I had. the best summer and it was my first. summer where, you know, the last two. summers I was on tour and obviously. those are just such a monster universe. to try to like harness. And this summer was just like I was. like, "I am creating peace this summer. I am doing the things that everything I. can imagine I want to do, I'm doing it. this summer." And it was really. liberating, really liberating. But it. also does reflect to myself, back to. your point, the connection to the.

busyness equaling success or that. busyness equaling, um, you know, uh, something positive. When. surely there's positivity there for. sure, but there is an addiction that I. think comes with this idea of having to. fill every minute and fill every second. And also there's the avoidance that. we're all likely experiencing where we. don't really want to face all the things. underneath things. So if we stay as busy.

as possible, we are like, literally, we. don't even have time to think about. those things or to reflect on those. things. And so I do understand that. lifestyle because I I feel like for. quite a while I didn't even I I would. just say yes because. I'm used to saying yes. Yes. Right? And I've. And I realized, wait, okay, you don't. have to say yes. So, do you want to say. yes? Do you actually want to say yes, or.

do you just feel obligated to say yes. for any number of reasons? So, I think. it's very powerful. I think you're. right. There There's totally. the drama that we are. we're we've been conditioned. Mhm, that's the right word. Right, to. um to it's it's around us. It's what we. see every day. We've seen our parents. experience it in different ways. We've. seen our friends go through it in.

different ways, and. therefore, that becomes the normal for. us. And and we kind of crave it. We become. addicted to it. Um even without knowing it. So, I think. that practice of like that that perhaps. is one of the opening when you said, how. did you get to a place where you could, you know, find yourself in a. where you are. I think part of that. practice really did have to come to. spending time with myself. And I made. every excuse why I couldn't spend time. with myself. My kids, I can't do it. My.

kids, you know, I can't leave them by. themselves. I can't do it cuz I got to, you know, and who else is going to do I. got to feed the family, the you know, we. got to do. And they all seemed valid. Seemed makes. sense to me. Yeah, that's true. Your. kids, you should probably make sure your. kids are good. And. if I don't make sure I'm good, how can I. make sure anybody is good, ever? And so, spending time with myself was a. I fought against it so much. But when I. started to do it, I realized that I was.

more powerful than I'd ever been. And I was faster. I was able to do. things quicker and more efficiently. because I I wasn't so cloudy, you know? And that was cool. That was cool. When. you start to feel that way, you're like, "Ooh, I don't have to spend so much time. doing whatever action because I actually. know what I want to do, ba ba ba ba ba, and I'm decisive.". Man, that felt so good. I had never felt. decisive before in my life. I had never.

felt clear without thousands of other. opinions. I I never felt like. my own self. So, that was big. But, spending time with myself was, I. believe, one of the keys to that. Can we. open every door? Yes. We actually can. open every door, but is it always going to be easy or the. simplest? No, it's going to take time, and you're going to have to figure it. out and work your way through it. This. idea of not dimming your light.

Like, don't dial it back if there's. something that you love, go after it. cuz it's meant for you. It might not be the way that you thought. it was going to be, or the length of. time you thought it was going to take, or whatever all the other things are, but man, is I know it's meant for you if. you love it. When I'm hearing you talk. about how much we have to filter from. the outside world, you mentioned a few. times your parents, people's parents. Like, a lot of a lot comes from our. parents, and I know you spoke about it.

so beautifully in your book that I got. to interview about, which I loved that. it was such a it was such a beautiful. memoir that you wrote Thank you. back, and I was wondering what I always. think about our parents giving us gifts. and gaps. Mhm. Like, they give us. certain gifts, and they leave certain. gaps. And we end up spending our whole life. trying to get other people to fill those. gaps and give us the same gifts, and and. it creates a lot of good things and. issues. So, I was going to ask you, what. would you say are the gifts you got from. your mother and father, and what were.

the gaps that they left, and how did. they affect you? Ooh. Okay, let Let sit up for a sec. Takes my shirt real quick. Um the gifts the gift one of the gifts. that I got from my mother I would say is. her um. is her strength. I feel like I really. I really bore witness to a woman who was. like. not to be with. Like she just really. and I don't know if she wore that as an.

armor. you know. or what that was but I found her to be. quite like. like straight and clear and strong and. there was kind of no. getting around it. And you kind of just knew okay this is. what it is and I feel like I I really. received a lot from that as a woman as a. young woman as a woman who would have to. be at the forefront of her own life and. career and really have to be in my space.

of power. be around a lot of people that want to. take your power steal your light you. know lead you in the wrong spaces I had. to kind of be in my strength and I did. receive that from her. What I received from my father was I. think. I think I think I also. received a level of. um. self-determination. Because I had a unique relationship my.

mother and my father were not married or. together and so one I had to learn that. that's actually not unique or different. You know there's not some kind of like. family structure that's like the main. one I think we get the paint of that. picture so much and then we feel So. true. we feel uncomfortable that ours. doesn't look like that. Um but so I had. to kind of know who I was also. even in our relationship and so I got a. sense of self as well. Sense of self. The gap.

from the sense of self that I received. from my father was probably. maybe um. some feelings of. not being worthy. So, I received some of that I had. restructure my brain around. And from my mother, I think I got a. sense of. fixing. I had to fix everything because. in a lot of ways if she was strong and. angry, I had to be like soft and.

accommodating and kind of fix. the situation. And so, I think I received some of that. which I also had to rewire. No, no, no, I can't fix everything. I just can't and. I can't be in my relationships like that. cuz that's not going to work. Man, took. lots of time. But, those are my gifts. and my gaps. Um I'm asking that. to many people. This is a great. question. Yeah, I think it I think it. has such a. we don't realize how much of an impact.

it has on every relationship that comes. after those relationships with our. parents. And how it becomes like the guiding map. of our whole life. And then you look. back and you go, "Why am I expecting. someone to give me this gift?" It's like. cuz my parents gave me it now I want. everyone that loves me It's a gift and a. gap. love me in this way. And I want them to. fill this exact gap and if they don't. fill this gap, then they don't love me. And because that was where that. self-worth you were saying of like. Right. because if you were made to feel. unworthy in a certain way, Right.

then you think anyone who doesn't show. you love in that way, then they don't. think you're worthy. But, they may not. They're not aware Right. gift and the gap and they're and they've. got their own as well. So, that's the. complex part. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a. lot and I mean obviously you've been. married for what? 14 years now? I think. it's like congratulations. Thank you. That's that's beautiful. We're like, "Whoa, that's crazy." We. love it. We love it. Yeah, you look I I. whenever I see you, both of you seem so. happy and joyous and you know,

complimentary to each other. I think. what I find really fascinating in. relationships is what people end up. teaching each other. What would you say. Swizz has been able to teach you and. what have you taught him? He's definitely taught me how to be like. much more in the flow. Mhm. Like it's all about kind of the magic of. the moment and allowing the flow. Like. just slide into the slipstream. Let it. happen. Like let it happen. Um that's been a big lesson he's given. me and.

what I've been able to give him is. probably a little bit more of like let's. design. what we want to have. Yeah, yeah. You know, as we're letting. it happen, let's also like design it and. craft it and strategize it and create it. and schedule it so that it can really, really happen. And I love how we balance. each other like that. There's been just. so much growth between us and so in such. a positive way because we really do. compliment each other. So it feels. natural in those ways. So I'm you and my.

wife Swizz. So I'm like that. He's in like a grand plan. very like I'm like strategy, designed, intentional life. Right. And she's just like this ball of energy, yeah. Stream. And and I but I wanted to ask. you because those things seem like. they're at loggerheads with each other. Right? Like they seem like on the. outside that would seem like well, if. he's like go with the flow and you're. like, yeah, but we need to know what. we're doing. That sounds like a a. terrible match up. Like that sounds like.

a fight ready to, you know, waiting to. happen. Yeah, an explosion because. that's completely contradictory. in terms of him being in flow and same. with Rady like being completely this. bundle and ball of energy and joy and. then. we're both trying to be more thoughtful. and strategic. So how does that how have. you allowed each other to operate as who. you are and take without feeling like. someone's trying to change you or that. you've got to be someone else or they've. got to be someone else.

Yeah, no, I think it's a I think it's a. good point. Well, first of all, I don't. think I think actually it tends to work. better when there's two different. perspectives, right? Cuz if you think. exactly what I think and I think exactly. what you think, then we might get to that place of. boredom that we discussed. But what I. what I took from what you said on board. I took almost like there's not a. stimuli, right? There's not like the. stimulation. that comes sometimes and I think that. might happen if you're almost too. similar. There's a stimulation from.

meeting an opposition and meeting like a. different way of thinking and then. having to think about it and put it into. your your world. So, um so yeah, I think. that that. the flow is just because I love how he. thinks and how he thinks is so uniquely. him and it does inspire me. And yet I can still be connected to my. own. And similarly, I think how I think does. inspire him. He says, "Let me think. about that more. Let me put a little. more thought into how we're doing this.".

And yet doesn't have to take him from. his own. So, we've we've ever since the. day our vows were about this idea of. loving with an open hand. There's a. beautiful thought of my loving with an. open hand and. you know, that everyone should be free. to fly as they want to fly. It should. never be a closed hand over around. someone. Yeah, I really like that. You know, it should be this open hand. And so, we we really have always looked. at it like that. He'll always say, "She's she's her own boss.

I don't have anything to do with. whatever she's choosing. Don't call me. and ask me to try to get her. I can't. She's her own boss, so talk to her about. whatever that might be." And and and so, there's always been that respect there. that we each have our own way of flowing. and it works. It works. Yeah, that's. beautiful to hear and I love that. That's. Did you write that or was that a poem. that you came across with? to remember where that came from but I. wrote a song about it that never came. out. No way.

Yeah, and I and I always loved that. metaphor. So do I. Just as when you were. moving your hands for anyone who's not. watching. Right. you were moving your hands from being. open to like holding one of our hands. closed like And we do that. We like we. like stifle each other and hold each. other and. demand these things and don't want. people to be free to express and feel. fear and worry when people are bright. and shining and we feel, you know, sometimes afraid of that that they would. somehow not need us anymore or not want.

us anymore and, you know, but there's. this beautiful thing of just being this. equanimity. That's what I've always. experienced with him. There's like this. the equanimity between us that I've. never felt anywhere else and it's. natural. There's we just have a similar. frequency that we vibrate on and it just. works and I've been in situations where. it's like, man, I kind of have to keep Can you come up. here with me or I have to go, you know, find that but it's like we're we're not.

quite on the same level and so that. means something, you know, finding that. frequency that vibrates with you is is a. thing. Yeah, no, I I love that. I wrote. a chapter in my last book called Your. Partner is Your Guru. Ooh. And it was. and it and it's that I I feel that way. like, you know, and and I think that the. quality that's required so much in. long-term relationships is humility. Mhm. And it's the hardest quality to. have with your partner often where we. have our biggest egos.

And we say this the person we love the. most but they're the person we have the. least humility with. Like if they don't. like what we're wearing or if they give. us feedback or. there's that's that it hurts the most. because. Cuz the love is. so so so pure. Yeah. Yes, good point. us sometimes from opening up as as. you're talking about, as you have been. able to. Like, it stops you from sometimes. learning from that person because you. think your way's the right way or that. what you learned and what you inherited.

was the right way to solve a problem. Especially, I'm imagining when you have. kids. That that that that's what just. hit me like a ton of ton of bricks. because we do find ourselves in those. circumstances where naturally something. that he might feel is quite different. from what I might feel in regards to the. kids. And you know, I think that. anytime that's happened, I can reflect. that there surely. has is a better way of communicating. what it is. And I find that that is the.

most powerful part. How do you choose to. communicate with the people that you. love? It's really the key. to kind of life. Like, literally that. that energy that you're giving and how. you're choosing to communicate will make. the difference between, you know, something where you both can evolve and. both can say, "I get it. I see what you. mean." And you can see what I mean, and. we can kind of find our way through it. or a big argument. Which is just a pain. Cuz then you got.

to, you know, you got to do all that. Which we actually don't argue. We have a. We don't We don't argue. Surely, we get. upset or we disagree, but. but there's not like a yelling and. screaming and an arguing and a and a. chaos and a slamming and a throwing. There's not that like we respect each. other too much for that, and I really. appreciate that that that's the energy. cuz I do also appreciate that many. people have to or choose to or find. themselves in the place of experiencing. that type of.

Yeah. you know, interaction. And man, I. mean, that is just so stressful and hard. all around. So, I'm proud that we can like find that. that place and it is possible. Yeah. It is possible. Well, it sounds like. you've both been quite intentional about. your relationship from your vows from. the beginning of like what does this. look like? Right. And what are the barriers around. disagreements? Right. allowed to disagree. We're allowed to. And the same with me and my wife, we. have a rule as well like no yelling, no. raising the voice, no obviously nothing.

physical, but like. Right. there there has to be a very. clear way of solving this and we're. allowed to disagree. We're allowed to. end. on completely two different sides of a. conversation. We don't have to end with. the perfect resolution. It may or may. not be the way. Right. But we don't have. to get there in a violent, aggressive, or tension-filled way through our words. or our actions or our how loud we are. because that pushes the person away so. much. I've read this. poem that was talking about.

when people argue they have to shout and. scream because that's how distant their. souls are. And so even though you're standing right. in front of them. That's what I wrote right there. is so far away from you that you have to. shout in order to communicate, but you. don't realize that that just pushes them. further away. And that actually if you whispered and. you were quiet and You would draw them. closer. actually draw them closer. Ooh, that's a bar. Yeah, and so it you know, I love that I. love that metaphor and I got I need to. hear this song that you've I know.

Written about the hands that are. I'll find it. I'll find it. At least. I'll send it to you. But I'll I'll find. it. I I really like it. Special. It's a. special song. I wrote it when I came. back from Egypt. And so it was a while. ago, but I took that a special trip to. Egypt and I did a lot of songwriting. right after that and that was kind of. one of them. It was actually in honor of. my godmother who did experience quite an. abusive relationship. And so the the the. line was the tightest grip is an open. hand. Mhm, I love that. That's a bomb.

That's beautiful. That's beautiful. Yeah. How How do you. decide that a song doesn't come out? Like how does How does Because how many. songs does an artist make that never So. many. Like in your In your lifetime, like how many songs never would would. someone have never heard? Two, 300. Wow. Yeah. So that's like. 20 albums worth. So many. So many that. just, you know, half done or, you know, didn't quite just come together or just.

didn't have that special thing enough to. go to the next level or time passes and. your relationship to yourself is. changing. So what you were what you were. expressing at one point just doesn't. represent where you are now. And so then. that kind of has its own In fact, one of. my albums, Keys, has a song on it called. Is It Insane? And Keys came out in like 2023. And Is It Insane was written in like. 2000. It's like is It was But it was not.

ready until that moment. And then it was. ready. So back to that whole thing where. nothing's ever ready when you think it's. time. And then finally you're like, "Oh, it's. time. I get it." Yeah. And time's. usually you're so When you said that. earlier, I thought of it. I was like, "Time is actually what puts anxiety onto. everything." If we say, "I have to have. achieved this by this age.". That's now the anxiety because if it. took 23 years, it took 23 years and you. got there in the end. But if you said.

this has to be ready this year, that's what put anxiety on everything. And I I was thinking about that. I was. like, "You're so right that when I make. something. not on the universe's time and not on. divine timing and it's on my timing, that's when You're stressed about it. That's what I'm stressed about it. out. Yeah. And of course there are things you. have to like if you have contracts and. commitments and. You have to get it in the time. Yeah. do your best. Yeah. But, it's when. we're asking or trying to manifest. things that we put.

time on it changes. What's your Are you. saying you love crystals earlier? I was. wondering, what's your favorite crystal. and and where did you find it? How did. you learn about them? I feel like you. have such a deeply spiritual side and I. I don't want to hear about it cuz I. don't think we've dived into this. before. I love That's a good one. Man, okay. So, where did my love for crystals come? First, I think that. I would learn that. going to these crystal shops, there's something so beautiful about the.

process. And I remember doing a. beautiful book called The Artist's Way. Um Julia Cameron, I believe her name is. It's like tried and true book, like. classic. And one of the things that was. beautiful about it is she says, "Take. yourself on an artist date." So, once a. week you were meant to take yourself on. an artist date, which meant you couldn't. go with no one except yourself and you. had to think of what would serve you. on that date, which is quite hard for. many of us. Like, "Well, what will make. me happy? What would I like to go?" And.

crystal shops is what I discovered was. one of the things I loved it. I loved. the peace and the serenity. I loved. exploring every name. I found that if I. went to one, it would be exactly the one I needed. I. would just look at the way it looked and. I would pick it up and be like, "That's. what I need right now. I need more. courage. I need more I need more. manifestation. More clarity." Uh when I. did take my trip to Egypt that we talked. about, I learned that the native it was.

native to where we were was the lapis. lazuli, that blue powerful stone. And I. just became fascinated with it. So, the. more that I discovered, the more that. crystals became a part of my life. Even. in my son's pocket, I'll put a crystal. if he's feeling worried or if he's. feeling like or if he needs a little. grounding, I'll put a crystal in his. pocket or I'll tell him hold it just. because I do know there is something. about the power of crystals and that in. fact is one of the most kind of.

secret parts of Keys Soul Care because. the crystals are infused into the. offerings. And we have these these. beautiful offerings called Illuminating. Serum which I just love cuz. we need to illuminate as much as. possible and they are really based on. these crystals. So one's the Moonstone. Aura. and that is so good manifestation. One. is the Bronzite Aura and that is all. about courage and one is the the the. the Quartz the the Golden Quartz Aura.

and that's and that is So each one has. these powers that even you should put on. your body in your universe and I just. love that because there is such a this. there is a strength, there is a power, there is a mysticism, there is a there. are these ancient rituals. Like our. ancestors did. these things. hundreds and hundreds of years ago and. we've somehow sometimes lost touch with. those rituals and those ancient ways. And so I love discovering them and they.

really give me a sense of like. I feel like I have something in my. pocket that like is going to help me and. I really really love it or on my on my. body. Yeah, now you can put it on your body. That's good. like. Keys Soul Care. And it illuminates you so it also gives. you that glow that's just really already. been within you. Yeah. That's the point. No, I I love that. you've infused it in the offerings. because I feel like. I I I too love that. Like I sometimes. you see a crystal and you're just drawn. to it or you see a gem and you're just.

drawn to it and it's and you can't. explain it because it's not like you. were into that color or you were into. that shape and all of a sudden you're. just like why am I attracted to this. thing? Cuz you need it. Cuz you need it. Exactly and and I think. we've lost the ability to trust. ourselves on what we need because. everything's become. didactic and tactical and kind of too. formulated. I don't I I I'm very moved by this. because.

as we were just talking about kids and. you know, as a parent you think about. we do take we can we have the power to. take. the trust. from. people. when they feel like they can't trust. themselves because we judge them. on something that they've decided and we. do this as adults to each other, we do. this as parents to kids, we do this as.

friends, you know, and we do this thing. where we judge a person and now we've. taken away a bit of their trust in. themselves because they feel like. this person made fun of me when I did. this. I won't do that but your instinct. was to do this and you would loved it. when you did it. You were happy, you. were excited, you were giddy. And and and and perhaps we allow people. to steal that from us but many times. we're not in a position of awareness so.

we just find that we then distrust. ourselves and I think that's a big one. because how can we start to trust. ourselves again? How can we practice. like no. no, this is good for me. You might not. like it, it's cool. You don't have to do. it. Yeah. I'm not telling you to do it, I'm. telling you I'm doing it. And I think. that's really important and I hope that. we can first be a little bit more. conscious of always injecting our. opinion on everybody as parents as. friends, as you know, elders and.

secondly to as as the people who have to. navigate our way through that. remembering that if that was our first. instinct and we felt joy with it. you know? Then there's something in. there to learn or explore or find the. coloring or curiosity and. and and I and I want us to do I want us. to not forget that. Yeah. That's a big one you just said. No, you. that's so well said. I I couldn't agree. with you more. And I I remember I I when. I first trained to be a coach,

the number one training was how you. don't project your life and your limits. onto anyone. Like that's the core skill. because. that's all we do all day. Like someone. says their idea and we project our view. to them straight away, right? Like. someone's like, "Hey, I want to be a. singer like Alicia Keys." And you're. like, "Nah, it's not going to happen.". Yeah, but that's probably not, so you. might as well Yeah, and it's like, but. you have no idea what they're saying. You don't you're not listening to them. There's no there's no learning and. you're just projecting what you feel. Or. someone says, "I think I'm quitting my. job and pursuing my passion on this.

thing." You're like, "No, no, no, don't. do that. Like that's risky." And it's. like, "Well, maybe it's maybe they need. it." Yeah, maybe it's needed. Maybe risk. is okay for them. And but we're so quick. and you're so right that our friends, our family, and we we do that to others. And we do to our partners as well. Like. when they're just saying, "Hey, you know. what? I think I need a weekend off this. weekend." And you're like, "No, maybe it. there's a few things you need to get. done." And they're like, No, actually you should run. Yeah, and. you're so what you said so beautifully. is we stop people from trusting. themselves. Like I think that really. resonated with me. And.

I I think. that's why I feel the fact that you've. infused all these crystals into. your offerings, I I love that because. it's it it's a daily reminder of. trusting. Yes. that when you I I always say this. to people. I'm like, we don't use our senses enough. Like. the pow- scent is so powerful. Right? Your products smell amazing. So. good. Uh and the scent's amazing. And. it's like we underestimate how much we.

know what we need by scent. Like I love. it. I remember when I first got a. massage and they brought out all the. different oils. And they said, "Smell. Which one do you want?" And they were. like, "You know by smelling." And I was. like, "What does that mean?" And then. you do it and then you're like, "Oh, wait a minute. I do know." I do know. Like, I do know that I need number. three, which has lavender and eucalyptus. or whatever it is, because I'm seeking. rest and relaxation. Oh, I see. Or I do need citrus because I'm seeking. energy. Oh. And and you know, right? But. but we don't use that scent. We don't. use our power of scent, of sight, of.

sound to know what we need. And the part. that I love about what you said in in. the knowing, the affirmation on the. illuminating serum is I give myself. permission to glow. Ooh. Because I just. so many times we just or we stunt the. growth or we stunt the glow or we feel. embarrassed by the fact that we are, you. know, bright and. or we to your point about the addiction. to the negative. Like, if we are feeling.

good, how many times have you felt good, but your friend wasn't feeling so good. So, you kind of They might say, "Well, how are you feeling?" You're like, "I'm all right." But you're really. actually great and you're actually. glowing. And I think sometimes we dim, you know, I know we dim our light, which. is another affirmation on the on the. candle, is is um. you know, this idea of not dimming your. light. Like, don't dial it back, you know?

Because we do it. And we And it's only. because we don't we want to be kind to. the people that we're around, but I. think we There's an inspiration that. comes from giving yourself permission to. glow. There's the empowerment that a. person looks at you and says, "They don't They look like And I want to. feel like that. Like, I'm going to do. more of that." You know, giving yourself. that permission. I love that. I really. It's a really special reminder. Mhm. What are your go-to rituals when you are. having a day that is just hard,

stressful, tough, demanding. What what's. your go-to non-negotiable set of rituals. that at least your kids turns to when. When it's really really crazy. tough. I definitely find that. I I my one of my go-to's is for sure a. meditation. I just find that I try my best to. meditate frequently so that I do find. that that balances you. You don't have. to kind of. fix what's happening. You you find a. continuity with the the the balance, but.

I do find that when I need it. I really I really relate to a. meditation. It it kind of just brings me. back to the center. It brings me back to. again that quietness. I get a second of. quiet. Even if I have to wake up before. the kids, I'm going to wake up at 5:30. so I can have 20 minutes of just like or. I'm going to wake up at 5:45, whatever. it is, and I really find that settles my. spirit cuz usually if I'm having a tough. one, I'm not sleeping well either.

because it's just like the internal. noise and all those things. So I really. I really love to ground there. I will. journal. I find that the journaling is. also really again, I've always had to. just kind of release. things more freely than I find I can do. with other people. So that really helps. A really good workout, key. Key, get me sweating, get me kind of. like, you know, just like feeling your. power of your body. That helps me a lot.

Um. then of course I'm going to wash my. face. I'm going to release as we talked. about the golden cleanser is going to. let me like let it go. I have this. beautiful rich transformation cream and. on it it says I welcome all. circumstances as a catalyst for change. Wow. And so I can probably reflect on. the fact that. this does this isn't bad or good. This. is just a catalyst to change something. And then I get my illuminating serum on.

because I'm going to be glowing. And I'm giving myself the permission. And I do love a bath. I do love a bath. I do love, you know, back to the oils or. the herbs. I find that even the crystals. can come into play if I need to just. kind of like. release something. And definitely and. the intentions and the affirmations come. into play because I find that whatever's. bothering me, I'll kind of it's. something that's challenging me. Maybe I. don't want to fail at something or I. don't want to I don't want something to. go wrong or and I kind of use that to.

say whatever it is that I might need. And. you know, hey, sometimes it's just going to be a. hard day. Maybe it'll be a hard week. Maybe it'll be a hard month, but. doing that consistently, I know I'm. fueling myself and I'm pouring in there. and. I feel better. Mhm. What works for kids? Like what rituals do you feel you've. actually been able to pass on because. they're young and I always feel like a. lot of parents want their kids to do. things, but I feel like you may be.

mindful in knowing what works and what. doesn't and Yeah. them having their balance. What what. what do they like and what what do they. not like? Well, I used to force Egypt to meditate. and I was like, you want whatever you. want, come meditate with me. That worked for a while. He's really big. now and and he's 13. So, I feel like I. could still kind of push him into it, but it was cool because he I think. when I do my meditation, he can say. every word. It's Ocean Genesis. And even though they don't necessarily. do it with me all the time, they know it.

and they feel it and they hear it. And. so I do think that idea of kind of like. just sitting with yourself again is a. great practice for kids because you. know, it doesn't have to be long. 5. minutes, cool. Really quick. Um a lot of. the times I'm also I'm also talking to. my kids a lot about gratitude. I I. gratitude is the key, key, it's the most. simple but potent key to changing the. energy. I know I felt times before where.

I'm like, I'm just pissed off because. someone did something and I'm like, you. and I'm sick of them trying to and I am. steaming. And I'll just like start to list what. I'm grateful for. It changes everything, everything. And I. tried to also share with my kids that. you know, it's give thanks. Give thanks and also pray. Make a prayer. for what it is you're thankful for and. what it is you're looking for. And I. promise you you will open every door for.

yourself. I promise. Every time I leave the room, my older. one, sometimes I'll pray with him, sometimes I let him, you know, be in his. own zone and I say, "Don't forget to. pray. Like don't forget to just be. grateful and pray because. the gratitude is like is is key. I. really do feel that it's a it's a key. ingredient to. settling and definitely to joy. Um. which I think is the what we're all. looking for. Absolutely. Right? It's joy. I love hearing what. you're passing on to the kids and I I.

think so much of it is them watching you. do it or them doing it with you. And I. think you're setting a good example and. that makes it easier because there's. only so much you can tell a kid to do. something but if you're there doing it, showing up, turning up. Right. And they get used to it. They get. used to it. Yeah, they get used to it and they and. they see that at least mom values it and. you know Right. Even their names they're. like Egypt and Genesis. Like I feel like. those names are so powerful. Man, I love. those names. Yeah, they're really powerful. Woof, I. mean, yeah, Egypt has been so cool. because like even just as watching him.

grow and he's always been super into. architecture and math and I'm like, man, maybe that I feel like the name. connection really brought that to him in. so many ways and and Genesis is like, woah, I'm like, we might have needed to. rethink naming that boy Genesis. But it's so good. He's so like kind of. strong and clear and you know, he's he's. he's he's he doesn't you know, he. doesn't bend. And I really appreciate.

that for him because I spent so much of. my life bending and contorting and. shifting and changing and trying to. please, but I love that he's like, no. Mhm. And he won't. And that's it. I'm like, Okay, I'm going to need you to try to be. a little bit fluid. Like a little fluid. on occasion. Not every time, just once. in a while. But I love that for him. I love that. he's clear. He's clear and that's it. Mhm. What's something you've been trying. to learn recently or work on recently.

internally for yourself? The kids are. working. What have you been? I think I've just been working on. just. listening. Mhm. Yeah, I think that we all have such big. personalities. I think I feel for the. kids sometimes. Like the dad is this. huge personality and we have this big. personality and I I I I I answer every. question and I react to everything and. I'm always saying, yeah, oh, yeah.

And sometimes I'm like, I think I can just be more silent. And I. think I can just actually let me allow. them the space to. and everybody the space to just kind of. feel, share, say what they're saying. without. neither encouragement nor. discouragement. Just like receive what. they're saying saying and let them just. speak. So, I think the listening is is really. cool. Not always reacting, not always. sharing, not always saying something.

Just like being more more more silent, more taking the space to just Yeah. That's what I'm working on. Yeah, I love. that. I can't agree with you more. I. think it's like. it's such a rare thing actually for. someone to actually just listen and. not have a reaction. Right. And and for. them to know that they can keep I feel. like when you listen that way people. feel like they can actually speak from a. deeper place. They're not just thinking. and speaking, they're feeling and. speaking because you're listening from a.

from a feeling space as well. Yes. And I wonder how do how do you. explain fame to them or explain or or do. they how do they how do they interact. with you said you're big personalities. but both of you have big lives. Like how. did they make sense of it or are they. still too young and they don't I mean. they're pretty present, you know, they're pretty present. I think about. that often. I mean I'm I'm very much. about. I want us all in spaces that feel.

very very normal. Like I am very very. like about that. I love to take them to. their classes and I love to drop them. off at school and I love to like we go. and we go to the you know, we go hang. out at the park or we go somewhere, we. do what we do. And I really love that ease. So I really. want to put them in environments that. feel like that. So of course, you know, on the other side they're on the tour. bus for 3 months and that's also. different. So they I think but I do.

think they have a pretty good balance. about it all and they're pretty like. everyday kids, you know, and I love that. about them too. I wonder how it feels or. how they affect them. They're they're. both very empathetic. Like I know sometimes if we're out and. someone, you know, they might have. caught someone who wants to take a. picture. But mom, just take a picture, mom. And you know, when it's the right time. I'm like, okay, cool. But if it's the. wrong time, then it's also but I'll go. say hello. So happy to see you. Hope you're great. Thanks for saying hi.

And it just might not be the right time. and that's okay, too. Yeah. So just. showing them the boundaries too and um. and but I think that you know sometimes. sometimes I'll say. Genesis will be like mom. you know in school. they they they they like that's Alicia. Keys song it's like so annoying mom and. I'm like that is annoying I feel you. that's annoying. but you could just tell them that your. mom. like you could just tell them I know. that's I see what you mean but that's. actually just my mom so you could tell.

them I'm mad and then and then Egypt you. know he's he's getting big and really. strong in basketball and he's like doing. so many amazing things he has a great. instinct and you know really like when. we're walking to a room it'll be me and. Swiss and and it's if it's in the. basketball universe they'll be like. there's Egypt like they actually are. starting to know Egypt's talent and so. it's really good and it's wonderful that. he has all of his own space and I think. sometimes he might feel like that's what. I want I want to make sure that it's not.

because of. whatever else you know and so I I I feel. for them but I think that they they're. pretty cool about everything. they have a good head on their shoulders. you know they're they're kind they're. loving they're thoughtful that's. beautiful. I'm really I'm really proud of them for. all of them you know we have a beautiful. big blended family and I'm proud of all. of them because it's like each has such. a special unique cool personality and. I'm just like y'all are like really cool. I love it I feel like you've been able. to you know you've been in the music.

industry for so long I mean I want to. know how. Hell's Kitchen felt like to be able to. take parts of your story inspire. you know. to see your music on Broadway I mean. that feels like was it was it a. different challenge like what what was. what was the. what was that like for you to have to go. from recording in studios making music. traveling to then. doing Broadway like what did that look.

like for you how were you creatively. involved? It was definitely as you said, it's been a 13-year process. And I think that's made it very cool. Like really. almost enjoyable because. whereas maybe sometimes with because it. was. such a passion project, I knew it wasn't. all going to happen quickly or at once. And so I would be able to kind of take. myself out of my like quote-unquote. normal life and go into this workshop.

phase with Hell's Kitchen and and I'd be. able to figure out like what a you know, what's the story lines me and the. writer, the book writer would get to it. and we'd say here's the themes and. here's the characters and here's the. stories and let's start to build this. universe. And then when the director. came in Michael Greif, you know, he was. really instrumental. He's kind of like. that me and Chris Diaz who's the book. writer are a little bit more than. newbies and then Michael Greif is like. the like the parental figure. He's like. this is what we do. We do this, we do.

this, we do this. We're good. And sure. enough we'd be like wow, we we needed. that. We didn't really know where we. were going. Yeah. So he was like a. beautiful guiding light. And then as. time passed, you know, being able to. connect with the Public Theater who's. the who's the theater who did, you know, Hamilton and. Chorus Line and all of these incredible. credible shows even the softs they did. and you know, there's so many beautiful. things that they that created another. level of like clarity and just like.

refinement and really being able to. bring it to life. So all these things. kind of happen in pockets. Like you. know, it'll be a three-week process and. then we'll hold tight for a minute. It'll be a two-month process and then. we'll hold tight a minute and then it'll. be six months of just heavy and then. we'll hold tight a minute. And so it. really gave me the capacity to hold the. container for the story and and for the. meaning. And I would always be able to. come back to it and say, this feels. right. Or something's wrong about that,

we have to figure that out. And then. when we brought in the choreographer, she became another part of this. beautiful tapestry and she was creating. movement around the songs in a way that. I just never heard it before in my uh. the the orchestrator who's also been a. partner from to me in many ways. musically, Adam Blackstone, you know, we. would create different versions and. instrumentals and I wrote new songs and. so it was all these pieces and parts and. you could start to feel little by little. how it was all the right timing. But I.

feel like the biggest I wouldn't call it. a challenge, I'm looking for the right. word, the biggest. growth or Yeah, maybe the biggest the. biggest growth or the biggest awakening. that I had with it. was realizing that I could take this. moment. and I could almost take everything that. I ever didn't do right. Mhm. And I could fix it. I could learn from. it. I could take it, the knowledge, and.

I could put it into this process and I. can. fix it. I could do it right because I actually. had the the the experience. And so my. the intellectual experience that I had. gave me the ability to really look at it. in a way that I had truly never had. before. And then because of that. knowledge, really cultivating the. strongest team of really awesome people.

in this particular universe to assist me. as a newbie, you know, as a person who. hadn't quite. traversed this path yet, was so inspiring and enlightening and. empowering to really see that when. everybody is the best at their field, you really can create something that. truly is magical. And so I learned so much from it and. obviously that's been years and years.

and years and years and years and. and even just seeing it off-Broadway and. having to navigate our way through how. can we perfect the story and there's. still more to perfect, there's still. more to craft and doing that and being. open and listening and really just being. open to. was tremendously rewarding. So. Wow. So that day when we got that. announcement that we had been nominated. for 13 Tonys. Yeah. It was freaky. The 13, the 13, it was.

just all like something's really divine. here. Wow. And it was. unbelievable. So it's been such a. hands-on. I mean I I am notoriously. anal. But in the best most loving way. Yeah. Because I just I know what it's supposed. to be and I'm not going to let it go. until it's right what it's meant to be. Have you always been like that with all. your music since day one and everything? Yeah. Yeah. It takes that. Yeah. It's. what it takes. Yeah. And I've also. learned how to like back off too. Like,

you know what? Let it let it flow, let. it vibe, it's okay. You got to back off. of it sometimes, but I am definitely. smidge of a control freak. How have you Yeah, walk me through how. you've refined that perfectionism. because in one sense the reason why. you have 16 Grammys and you know all the. rest of it is because. all the success has come from that level. of. work and ethic and effort and perfection. and you know all of that like tinkering. and iterations and and everything. And.

then where have you learned to let go? Or where have you What what is it that. you've done to. flow? At what point do you allow it to. flow? If someone's listening they're. like Alicia I'm a perfectionist too and. I don't I don't Yeah. I think that you know definitely having. the vision for what you want to create. is wonderful and you likely are the only. person that has that vision. If you, you. know, pass that off to somebody, the. vision will shift, right? So, which.

might be needed at a certain point. But, I think being comfortable saying I I. really have this vision, I'm very clear. about it, and. following that is wonderful. Then, I. think starting to let other. special, not just anybody, but special folks who you realize they. they're additive, you know, that what. you create together or what they bring. to the table can enhance the vision,

it is important to let that in cuz if. you don't let it in, you're going to. actually steal from the vision, ultimately. So, I think that has been a. beautiful process when. when you and when you know that feels. right, you know. When it doesn't feel. right and it's super hard and it's like. a struggle and you're arguing and. everything, okay, it's not the right. person. You can let that go. But, when. you do see that things or people are. becoming additive, it's really.

good to allow that in, allow that to to. come in. And then, you get inspired more. and you're like, "Ooh, I didn't know. that we could do that. Now, I could take that and make it. even better because we've brought that. part into it." So, I think that's a. really special part of the creative. process is and I have learned that with. even songwriting, like, so fun when you. start to bring additional energies into. the space. Not all the time so you lose. sight of your vision or of your center. That's happened to me, too. I'm like,

"Wait, let me go back to the simplest. because I've made this a bit complicated. or, you know, overly done." But, I I. there's something really great about. that and then you keep seeing that it's. growing and it's adding. And then you. you can still hold space for the vision, but allow. what helps it in. and what makes it grow in and what makes. it better in. And I don't think you have to be worried. about that. It's a beautiful thing. Yeah, I've definitely developed so much.

more respect and appreciation, even more. than I already had for artists, the. closer I've got to the industry, just. from watching. Because you forget that that's so many. projects are truly pure passion. And. that they took 10, 15, 20 years. And. when you hear about something like that. that you're saying, for someone like. yourself who's already successful, already has. tons of accolades in an in an area. that's directly related, but then to. think you had to wait.

13 years and work for 13 years to pull. that off. Right. You you start recognizing that it. takes so much patience and love, even. when you have already proved yourself. Because I think there's this feeling. that. you people can get tired of proving. themselves or having to prove. themselves. That's right. And it can feel exhausting sometimes. Yeah. But the truth is that if you're. growing and you're building and you have. something you care about, Right. you're constantly having to Right. prove yourself in a new space. Right.

And I think there's. there's something really. exciting about that, too. Cuz I think if. you. could open every door, you you would take it for granted. You. know, you're like, "Oh, I could open. that door, too. And I'll open that door, and oh." And yes, can we open every. door? Yes, we actually can open every. door, but is it always going to be easy or the. simplest? No, it's going to take time, and you're going to have to figure it. out and work your way through it and.

come back to those places that you're. like, "Oh, I got to. dredge up this confidence again. Like I. thought I was good in this department, here it goes again. And all those. learnings and challenges that kind of. takes you through just being a human. being. um is I think the beautiful part and and. the excitement and the thrill and the. stimulus. And and then you're like, I. I'm I am willing to work for this. I'm. willing to put in the time for this. I'm. willing to even fail. And even when And what does that mean?

What does it even mean? Actually, I don't know what that means. I'm willing to work and to try, and. whatever comes from it is going to be. what I need. It's going to be exactly. what's needed. Yeah. So, it's it's it's. beautiful. I really I really enjoy it, and I really find that I'm more grateful. than ever. for sure for being able to spread my. wings and be um ceilingless or be. edgeless because I really want to be. able to explore as much as I can. And it.

feels really good to keep trying. And. And but most important, I think the seed. of what you said is. the love. So, that matter If you If If. there's something that you love. go after it. Cuz it's meant for you. It might not be the way that you thought. it was going to be or the length of time. you thought it was going to take or. whatever all the other things are. But. man, is I know it's meant for you if you. love it. Yeah. Yeah, you'll get to where you want.

in life, just not in the way you. imagined it. The timeline will be. different. The way it looks will be. different. The way it feels might be. different. Even how you visioned it may be. completely different, but you get there. Right. And the journey will probably be. better and a better story than you. imagined it to be. Ever. And hearing you. say that is so so fulfilling. I want to. ask you um one more question before we. end with a final five. And this. question's more just just the way I've. experienced you even today, I'm like.

you've been in the industry for so long. since you're 18 you said you know so. much success moved around and so many. different things and I feel like anytime. I've been with you your energy is always. like upbeat you've always been positive. you've always been giving like there's. always been a a really nice spirit and. way about you that you have and I feel. like. you you've never become jaded by the. industry or jaded by things around you. and you see that a lot for people and. not in a judgmental way you observe it. but it seems like you've protected and.

carved out your space and. your like happy place and your safe. space and I was wondering how have you. done that when. so many people can look at something and. be like oh well I don't want to you know. people be like I don't want to be too. Hollywood I don't want to do too this I. don't want to too go to that but it. feels like you've been able to protect. yourself regardless you know being in a. big thing and I I wonder how you've been. able to do that and how you've been able. to craft that. Ah. Man. This is. I love this question.

I think that. one of the back to the gifts of what I. got from my mother. you know she was always really kind of. somehow she made me think about. how. I made people feel. And I remember that I remember you know. it would be simple things I changed my. mind about going to a birthday party and. she would be like. but how would that make you feel? And so somehow she helped me to find my. empathy.

and I can put myself into other people's. shoes. And I really appreciate that was a gift. And so I can look around me and I can. feel empathy for other people like I. want to connect with people I care about. that. I love bringing good I want people. to bring me good energy. I don't want to. bring someone else anything else but. good energy like I I care about the. energy that I cultivate in a space. And.

I also have learned that if I can't. bring that energy, then I can remove. myself from that space. Like I don't. have to be in a space if I'm not feeling. good. You know, cuz I can also not feel good. I don't have to always feel good either. That part was a. a lesson. Took me a while to get there, too. You know, but um. but I appreciate that I can I want to. bring that. I'm conscious of what I'm. bringing into a space and into a room. And I want what I bring into a space to. be something that feels good.

And and so I think that that's kind of. that's it. I think that's really it. And so just. the distinction between the two, giving. myself permission to maybe not feel like. I can fill that space is great. And then. when I can and when I'm ready, I do. And that's what I want to do. I. want to bring that. And I hold other. people to that. I'm like, "Hey, I don't. bring you that energy. I don't I don't I. don't want you to bring me that energy, you know, because my energy is precious.

and it's important and it's special and. and it's just not free. I don't just. give it to those who don't deserve it.". So I also had to learn the value back to. one of my. gaps of who I am and what what my energy. is and what a gift it is to be able all. of our energy is a gift. And we can kind. of choose how do how do we want to. give it. Um and so I love that and and learning.

when it's when to give it and when not. to give it is also been a part of the. journey, too. I think I'm doing better. with that. I think I'm doing better. Man, a lot of. undeserving people got a lot of good. Alicia energy and. and it's like man, no more of that. No. more of that. Like you got to know your. limits, you know? Like okay, cool. That. doesn't mean I have to be unkind to that. person, but they don't have to get my. best beautiful energy. They can kind of. Yeah. hold tight over there. Yeah, and. you only realize that by giving it and.

knowing that you over gave or under. gave. Right. Right. Right. Right. And you only. know that by trying it out. Like I I. know there are people in my life who I. believe deserve way more Right. energy from me because they always have. that for me and. Right. over spent in this area and it's like. looking at your. bank balance at the end of the month and. going where did I over spend and where. did I under spend and energy is the same. thing. Where did I over spend my energy. and who did I over spend my energy with. and who did I under spend with? Facts. And and let me reflect on that. I love. that. that. Thank you. Alicia, I I I've met.

the first time we ever did the interview. was only audio during the pandemic. Right. And I remember like obviously I mean. it's a no brainer that you have the most. beautiful voice, but I remember just. listening to you because we were so. present cuz I could just hear you. was a time. Yeah, and it was a and it. was a time. Exactly. It was a time. Uh. but I'm so grateful to be able to see. all your expressions and just you know, see you come to life and we end every On. Purpose interview with what we call a. final five. Every question has to be answered in one. word to one sentence maximum.

One word or one sentence. Yeah, but I'll probably ask you for more. because I always break my own rules. All. right. Uh I'll try to be swift. I'm not. good at that. It doesn't matter. It's fine. Uh Alicia. Keys, these are your final five. So, question number one, what is the best. advice you've ever heard or received? Nothing before it's time. My. grandmother, nothing before it's time. I. love that one. Uh question number two, what is the worst advice you've ever. heard or received? The worst The worst advice that I ever.

received was that I had to. kind of change myself. to be accepted or that I was had to even. if I felt uncomfortable, I should do a. thing because it's what, you know, was. going to be Mhm. best received. Mhm. Yeah, that's It's. good to hear. I always like to make a. list of all the worst advice everyone's. had because people are going to hear it. again and hopefully they'll remember. this moment when they hear it. good book. Yeah. Question number three, what was it like to perform at the Super.

Bowl? Oh, man, it was crazy. It was. totally insane. This is a longer than a. sentence. Yeah, do it. It's all right. It was I. found it so fascinating because. it had to be built. The whole thing had. to be built and they had to time it in. under three minutes it could be built. and then we had to have our performance. in the amount and it had to be tick tick. tick tick tick tick. And so and it was. live. So it's crazy to see a live thing. have to like operate in that level of.

like finite detail. I was like in awe. and then obviously the place and the. people and the vibe and the energy and. it was just like really fun. Yeah, it. was like your dress and the piano and it. was it was insane. That was and the. the the Underneath the dress was the. world's best puppeteers. So they were. actually puppeteers underneath the dress. to make it fly like that. That was. fantastic, too. Well, how did your control freak nature. deal with that? Like three minutes and. like the puppeteers and You know, I just.

we had practiced so. distinctly that I knew everything that. was going to happen and it was perfect. and I just kind of, you know, control. freak until you can't. Yeah, yeah. And and as an artist I just at a certain. point when you're when you're flowing. and creating and writing and singing, you do just have to like be in the. moment. So the control freak part comes. when I'm designing or creating the. thing. But once I'm in the thing, you. have to just go. Oh, so that's. beautiful. I love that. That makes so.

much sense. That's a great clarification. on the earlier point, too. I love that. and that completely makes sense. In the. architecture of the design, that's where. the perfectionist kicks in. Mhm. Otherwise, though, it's like magic. Whatever happens, whatever happens is. just perfect for that moment. Yeah, that's beautiful. Question number four, what's the first offering you want me to. use and the first offering you want Rani. to use? Oh my gosh. And I want you to give them to you now. You can share them. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. All right, well, I want you. both to wash your face with the golden. cleanser. But I want you to use the aura.

mist. Ooh, I'm going to spray this on my. pillow and me. It has rose. It has rose. I think we might start. spraying this in the studio every time. now someone comes in. And literally it. just calms you instantly. Yeah, the scent's beautiful. And it's I'm as free as the air. Ooh. So. you are free. That's the affirmation. as the air. And you always are as free. as the air. But that's just a beautiful. reminder. And Rani, my best friend, Yeah, that's beautiful. is these are the let me glow serums and.

this one I think is the bronzeite. I. give myself self permission to grow. The. bronze aura. So she's going to get all. three of these. because she's glowing. She's so. spectacularly authentic. I just adore. her. So let me glow in all of the shades. so that she can just like ching ching. ching ching ching cuz she already glows. So we'll give that to her. I can't wait. to see her. I love it. I can't wait for. you to see her as well. That's. beautiful. Thank you so much. We're so. excited and thank you for sending so. much for my team as well. They're all.

excited to use them as well. glow up. it. Appreciate it so much. Fifth and final question, if you could. We ask this every guest who's ever been. on the show, if you could create one law. that everyone in the world had to. follow, what would it be? I think my law would be that you you you. you cannot hurt. another being. You cannot hurt them physically. You. cannot hurt them emotionally. You cannot hurt them.

You cannot hurt another. another being. There's no reason. There's no. difference. There's nothing that allows. the physical or emotional or spiritual. you know, negligence or hurting. of another being. I think that's a great law. It's a great law and then we'd actually. have to look at. why we'd want to hurt others and where. that comes from and then actually heal.

our own hurt as well. That's that's. incredible. I love that. Yeah. That. would be. really amazing if we could. look to that. It's beautiful. Alicia Keys, thank you so much. I am. always happy when I'm with you. I've. I've always enjoyed collaborating and uh. if only I could sing, you know? It's. like We'd be doing a song. But this is our song. You know? I'm so excited for people to use Keys.

Soulcare and have access to it and to. transform their heart, their soul, their. mind and their body. Yes. through this beautiful new offering and. even the intentionality I was looking at. how everything's called an offering, there's no products, it's called. rituals not just routines. Like I love. all of that to it and I think. I I do believe that physical. and I'll call them products just for. what I'm trying to say, but I think. physical products are so important to. remind us of what to do internally. Yes.

and we we do call them product like gel. the two together, but you're right. It's. like the physical embodiment the. embodying of the philosophy or the. practice and I love that and you live. that. You guys live that. And thank you. for this such such for these questions. that also. made me pause and think about how I. wanted to share them and. I love this show. This show is so good.

But you know that already because it's. like a smash, so what? No, you're the best. Means the world. Thank you for trusting me. Absolutely. You too. Thank you for trusting me. You too. Thank you. Big love. Amazing. If this is the year that you're. trying to get creative, you're trying to. build more, I need you to listen to this. episode with Rick Rubin on how to break. into your most creative self, how to use. unconventional methods that lead to. success, and the secret to genuinely. loving what you do. If you're trying to. find your passion and your lane, Rick.

Rubin's episode is the one for you. Just. because I like it, that doesn't give it. any value. Like, as an artist, if you. like it, that's all of the value. That's. the success comes when you say, "I like. this enough for other people to see it.".