5 Things I Did To Stop Wasting My Evenings After Work

This is the harsh truth. Your 9-5 is not. the reason you're feeling behind in. life. It's what you're doing after your. 9-5 that's keeping you stuck. Because. while your day job may pay your bills, your 5-9 determines who you become. Those few hours after work are where. books get written, businesses get built, bodies get healthier, relationships. deepen, and lives begin to change. But. for most of us, those hours disappear. into exhaustion, scrolling, chores, and.

distractions before we even realize it. The reality is most people spend their. energy maintaining their current life. rather than working toward the future. they really want. You have dreams that. you want for yourself, but your daily. routine doesn't align with what it would. take to accomplish them. Ask yourself. this. Picture the version of yourself. that you want to be in 1 year. Does your. current lifestyle look like the one that. person has? The truth is you're not.

lazy, but you're probably stuck in. decision fatigue, cognitive overload, and with a nervous system that's. overstimulated. And I think that's why so many of us can. feel frustrated with ourselves. You. genuinely want to change your life, but. keep falling into the same patterns. every night. How many of you tell. yourself that after work you're finally. going to exercise, work on your passion. project, cook a healthy meal, reconnect. with a loved one, read a book, or try a.

new hobby? And instead, you end up on. the couch, four episodes deep into a TV. show, wondering where the entire night. went. You promise yourself tomorrow will. be different. Tomorrow you'll have more. discipline. Tomorrow you will finally. just do the task you said you were going. to do. But that's where most people are. approaching their 5-9 completely wrong. They're relying on motivation instead of. systems, reacting to their exhaustion. instead of fixing it, and unknowingly.

building routines that drain even more. energy from them instead of giving that. energy back. Researchers studying. decision fatigue found that the quality. of our decisions tends to decline. throughout the day as our mental energy. gets depleted. By the evening, most. people are operating with significantly. less cognitive bandwidth than they had. earlier in the morning. That's part of. why passive habits become so much harder. to resist at night even when you wake up. motivated and ready for a productive.

day. And unfortunately, most of the. systems surrounding us are designed to. make passive behavior incredibly easy. Streaming platforms auto play the next. episode. Your Instagram feed never ends. And the cozy, comfy couch is always. going to feel better in the moment than. lacing up your sneakers. Now, obviously, rest matters. I think one of the biggest. mistakes self-improvement culture makes. is treating every moment of rest like. failure. Rest and recovery are extremely.

important. But there's a very big. difference between intentional rest that. restores your energy versus the numbing. out and feeling frustrated with. ourselves that we tend to do on. weeknights. If you're just constantly resting each. night to reset for the next work day, you'll realize a month went by where you. didn't even start a project you were. excited about. Your goals start feeling. like they belong to some future version. of yourself who will eventually have. more time, more energy, more clarity,

more motivation. But your evenings, right now, as your life looks today, matter. And I'm going to help you. utilize them so you can be productive, energized, and more fulfilled. It's not. about finding more hours in the day, it's about resetting the way you use the. crucial time you do have. You have. goals, you want to be productive. You. want to feel happy and well-rounded, well-read. You want to spend time with. the people you love and who love you. All of these things are accessible to.

you if you do the 5 to 9 right. So, today I want to take us through the five. shifts that can completely change your. evenings and ultimately your life. The first shift is changing your first. move after work. Behavioral scientist. Wendy Wood, who studies habits and. automatic behavior, has much of human. behavior is driven less by conscious. decision-making and more by. environmental cues and repeated. patterns. That's why so many people sit.

down for 5 minutes after work and. somehow lose 3 hours to TikTok. The. brain recognizes the pattern before your. conscious mind fully catches up. One of. the biggest mistakes people make is. trying to fight the wrong battle. If you. know that going straight home from the. office destroys your momentum, stop. trying to rely on discipline once you're. already in your home. Change the first. move instead. Go directly to the gym. after work. Stop at a cafe before.

heading home and spend an hour working. on your side hustle. Go for a walk after. you park your car before you head in the. front door. Meet a friend for dinner. straight from the office. Interrupt the. autopilot loop before the decision. fatigue fully takes over. Psychologist. call this implementation intention. theory, creating specific if-then plans. ahead of time. Instead of vaguely. saying, "I should work out more," you. decide, "If work ends at 6:00, then I.

get to the gym at 6:15.". Research consistently shows that people. are far more likely to follow through on. behaviors when they've created a. specific situational plan ahead of time. Most lives are shaped less by huge. dramatic choices and more by repeated. small decisions that slowly become your. identity. My first move after a work day. is to dive into a book. I keep books. open in different places in my home.

There's one by my bedside, one in my. living room, one in my office, and what. I try and do is just dive into a book. immediately. I know that if I wait to. settle down, if I wait to simmer down, I'll probably lose the motivation. But. if I pick up a book that's already open. and go back to where I was when I. finished off, then already I'm. reconnected. Something I prioritize. doing every single night is having a. meal with someone I love without my. phone. I think it's so important to feel.

a sense of connection. The second shift. is batching small tasks so they don't. consume your entire week. I think one of. the biggest reasons people feel like. they don't have time after work is. because they're redoing the same basic. life maintenance tasks every single. night. Laundry, grocery shopping, answering emails, handling carpool, running to appointments. None of these. things feel overwhelming individually, but together they eat hours of your. evenings before you ever get to the.

thing you actually care about. This is. why batching your life admin is so. important to getting your time back. Meal prep for 2 hours on Sunday instead. of spending hours cooking from scratch. every single night. Do all your house. cleaning in one block instead of. scattering it throughout the week. Pick. one evening a week for laundry and stick. to it. Spend 30 minutes on a Sunday. planning your weeknights ahead so you. stop wasting energy constantly deciding.

what to do next. The goal is to. reconfigure the free hours you already. have in a week to make room for the. things you actually want to spend time. doing. The more friction you remove from basic. life maintenance, the more energy you. have left for your health, relationships, creativity, and future. The third shift is to stop waiting to. feel good or motivated before taking. action. I genuinely think this is one of the. most damaging beliefs people tell. themselves. They think they should feel. inspired before creating, energized.

before exercising, calm before. meditating, confident before starting a. new task. But that's not always. realistic in the chaos of our busy daily. lives. In fact, consistency usually. comes before motivation, not after it. That doesn't mean ignoring your body or. forcing yourself into burnout, but it. does mean occasionally, whatever it is. you want to accomplish in your life, you. just have to do it tired. Go to dinner.

with friends, even if you're in a bad. mood. Go to a workout class, even if. you're yawning. Open that Word document. of the book you want to write, even if. you're creatively slumped. Prove to. yourself that you can rely on yourself. to do the things you say you're going to. do, even if you're not in the perfect. mood to do them. Because the reality is, after a tough day at your 9-5, it's. likely you're not going to be in the. mood to do anything but lay on the couch. and start scrolling. So, at some point, you need to be okay.

with just doing it anyway. You know, when I'm struggling for motivation after. work, but I want to work on my book or. work on a creative thing that I haven't. had time day, I just think about what it will feel. like in a week to not do it. I know if I. don't do that thing that I creatively. want to do for a week, I'm going to feel. emptier. I'm going to feel heavier. I'm. going to feel like I'm not doing what I. was meant to do. And so, future-facing. the emotion that I'll experience impacts.

me to make a difference now. Another. thing I want to talk about is an. activity that I don't look forward to or. didn't used to at least was going to the. gym. I always used to feel I don't have. enough energy for the gym. I'm not ready. for the gym. Only to realize that every. time I leave the gym, I feel amazing and. I feel so happy that I went. And I want. you to realize that. The things that are. good for you feel bad at the beginning. and amazing afterwards. And the things. that are bad for you, they feel great in.

the beginning and not so great. afterwards. The brain naturally. gravitates toward immediate relief. instead of pushing forward. But over. time, this creates a deeper issue. You. stop trusting yourself. Every night becomes further proof that. you're okay with abandoning the things. you said mattered to you. Eventually, you come to believe that you're. incapable of even accomplishing them at. all. That's why even the smallest actions. matter so much. Reading 10 pages, going. for a walk, spending 30 minutes. researching for a project, calling your.

loved one to check in. These actions. seem insignificant in isolation, but. over time, they become evidence about. who you are. It's easy to look ahead and. get excited by outcomes, money, success, transformation. But the real journey to. your goals is just based on repetition. Your future is truly shaped by what you. repeatedly do on ordinary Tuesday nights. when nobody's watching. Big news, Juni. just launched at Kroger and we're. celebrating with a free can for you.

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can feel better and live better. The. fourth shift is giving yourself one. meaningful goal each evening instead of. trying to reinvent your entire life. overnight. I think ambitious people. unintentionally sabotage themselves in. this area constantly. They get home from. work and they expect they'll be able to. work out, cook dinner, clean the. apartment, answer emails, see friends, meditate, read, journal, call family, work on their businesses, and still get. 8 hours of sleep at the end of the. night. It's impossible to do everything.

all at once. When you overset your goals for one. weeknight, you're going to end up. feeling guilty and unproductive when you. inevitably don't get it all done. This creates a terrible psychological. loop where your evening start feeling. associated with inadequacy instead of. fulfillment. What you really need to be. doing is trying to win the week, not. trying to win every single day. There's. been lots of times in my life where I've. been close to burning out because I've.

been trying to do everything all at the. same time. Think about the weather. Seasons. Seasons exist because even the. environment does different things in. different phases at different times. Think about your life as seasons, not as. one season for the whole year. That's. what really helped me understand the. importance of priorities. Some seasons. are like spring. They're about new. ideas, fresh growth. Some seasons are. about summer, joy, experience, going. deep into immersive feelings. Some.

seasons are like autumn. They're like. about shedding. And some seasons are. like winter, about hibernating and just. protecting yourself. Not every goal. needs to be worked toward every evening. Maybe a couple of weeknights are for. wellness and exercise. Maybe one is for. friendships, one is for creativity, and. one is for the practical life. maintenance you're now batching. A. balanced life repeated consistently is. where real progress is made. And. finally, the fifth shift is building. evenings that actually give you energy.

back. Listen, I understand that having a. 9-5 is taxing and exhausting, and your. natural instinct is to structure your. entire life around maintaining energy. just to survive at work. But if we as. humans actually gain energy back in the. long run when we're pouring into. ourselves and into the activities that. truly fulfill us. There's a reason. people often feel more energized after a. workout, a meaningful conversation, a. walk outside, or after a productive hour. of work rather than 3 hours straight of.

scrolling. Your energy is like a generator, not a. battery. It's not constantly draining. until you hit zero. Rather, you're able to revive, reset, and pull your energy levels back up. depending on what you choose to pour. your time and attention into. The goal of your evening should not just. be recovering enough to survive. tomorrow. To make the most of our 5-9s, we need to connect intentionally to. something that is building us towards a.

better future. I love going on a hike. after work. I think being in nature, being outdoors, expanding the mind makes. me feel so, so energized. Now, I don't. always want to go, but I've started to. write down and journal about the feeling. after I hike. So, after I do force. myself to go on a hike, I'll write about. it so that the next day when I don't. want to go, when I'm tired, I read it to. myself. Or I listen back to an audio. journal, which is saying to me, "Don't. give up. Go on that hike. Get out.

there." For me, an ideal successful. weeknight is getting to bed on time. I. really believe that if we were all. sleeping 7-9 hours a night, it would. take away around 50% of our problems. because it would give us the ability to. curb our cravings, to work out, to have. more energy in the day, to feel better, to not be as irritable or as reactive to. things around us. So, for me a. successful weeknight is making sure that. I. don't, you know, spend loads of time on my. phones, that I get I should relax before.

bed, I allow myself to have a wind-down. routine, and that I fall asleep by 10:00. p.m. latest. Now, I'm not perfect. I make mistakes. I. sleep later than that. I have events. during the week as well. This is not. about perfection, it's about practice. and progress. At the end of the day, this is really about reclaiming autonomy. and authorship over your own life. You. don't need to make any huge dramatic. changes to feel more productive. Instead, focus on small repeatable. choices every day that slowly shift the.

direction of your life. Most people. massively underestimate what can happen. in a year of intentional evenings. Sure, one workout will not transform your life. tomorrow. Reading 10 pages tonight won't. instantly make you wise. Spending an. hour on your dream after dinner won't. immediately change your career. But, these actions repeated consistently over. months and even years, that's where the true meaning of your. life is built. I remember when I was. working at a corporate company.

and in my heart, I had a dream of what I. really wanted to do. And my 9:00 to 5:00 wasn't really a 9:00. to 5:00, it was more like a 9:00 to. 7:00, 9:00 to 8:00. And so, I'd get back. and then I'd work. I remember spending 4. to 5 hours a night, 5 days a week to. edit one 5-minute video. Now, if anyone. ever tells you it will take them 20. hours to edit a video, just know that is. not a good amount of time. That is way.

too long, but I spent that long because. I had to teach myself how to edit. So, I was teaching myself how to edit. I. was editing my videos. I was posting. them onto YouTube. I was making. thumbnails. I was doing all of these. things, skills that I had and didn't. have in order to live my dream. And I. don't regret it at all. Yes, I missed. birthdays. Yes, I missed events. Yes, I. missed hangouts. During that time, I. missed so many different things, but I. don't regret it because it set me up for.

the greatest gift in my life, which is. doing what I love. I remember as a. teenager, I read David Beckham's. autobiography. And he talked about how when he was a. young man in his teens, all of his. friends were out partying on a Friday. night, and he was at the park. He'd hang. a tire, a car tire in the corner of the. goal, and he'd practice free kicks until. he could get loads in a row. And he doesn't regret it because it. allowed him to live his dream. You are going to have to make choices.

about how you spend your evenings, what. you focus on, what you prioritize, what. you build around in order to build your. future. It won't be easy. It won't be. comfortable. I remember. editing videos and putting them out and. then my friends saying things like, "Jay, the music editing's bad. The clips. are too fast. You talk too fast." There. was so much criticism that came with it. as well. Obviously, I wasn't perfect. I was. working a full-time job and trying to. figure it out. I wasn't great at.

everything I was doing, but I started even when it wasn't. perfect. And I stand before you today, or I sit. before you today, because I was able to follow through on. it, not because I got everything right. Not because I had a perfect plan. Not. because everything was perfectly. executed, but because I started. I want you to think about. what your life would look like. if you woke up a year from now and you. were in exactly the same place. Because all you did after your 9-to-5.

was. doom scroll, was waste time, and not even rest and restore. I think that's one one most fascinating. things. We usually turn to something to help us. escape. We actually think happiness is. relief. Right? We think of relief from. pain and stress as happiness, but it's. not. It's just relief. And I find that so many of us think. that just doom scrolling all night will.

actually help us decompress. Will actually help us rest, but it. doesn't do that. It doesn't make you. feel calmer. I was with a friend a. couple of months. ago and instead of doom scrolling or. instead of just wasting time, we decided. to spend an hour in silence together. Just to help our mind and bodies really. decompress. It's almost like putting your phone on. charge. You have to get off of it to let. it charge, to let it refuel. Think about your body and mind. We're so.

overstimulated, we're so overwhelmed. throughout the day. We rarely give our. body and mind an opportunity to just. reset. For me, it's been such a powerful practice to. ask myself, when do I actually feel. rested? What do I need to actually do to. make myself feel rejuvenated? What Not. what do I need to do to distract myself? Not what do I need to do to numb myself. or escape, but what can I do that. really, truly makes me feel rested? And.

I would ask you and challenge you to ask. yourself that. What do you do so that. when you wake up in the morning, you. don't regret it? How many of you stay up. all night watching something and then. next morning you wake up and go, "I wish. I went to bed earlier." Right? That's. not rest. And here's the reality. I know. we all carry guilt and shame around. this. I do, too. Like if I doom scroll. for too long, I'll feel a bit guilty. If. I feel like I wasted an evening, I can. feel guilty. And here's the interesting. thing. Guilt can block growth.

Right? If you force yourself into. feeling guilty, it can force you to make. a change, but it can also block growth. because it makes you feel more shameful. It makes you feel like you're not worthy. of working harder. So, I want you to be really careful to. choose things that really help you rest, that really help you refuel, that really. help you restore, not just distract and. numb and find relief. I want you to try. and figure out what that is for you. I. wanted to address something else. I'm. not encouraging hustle culture.

I'm not encouraging you to burn yourself. out. What I'm encouraging you to do is. to recognize that there will be a 1 to 2. year window in your life where you're. able to lock in in this way. and it will positively impact the next. 10 to 20 years of your life. That's what we're after. We're not after. just doing this for the sake of doing. it. We're not just after doing it. because we have to do it. But there will be a certain season and. phase in your life where carving out. this time will pay dividends for. decades.

I want you. to reach your potential. I want you to. achieve the things that you're really, really excited about. I want you to have. an opportunity, but I also want to be. real with you. There is no substitute. for the 5 to 9. There is no substitute. for the work after work. There is no. substitute to the working on weekends. There's no substitute to planning and. organizing your time better. There is no. substitute. We think someone got lucky, it just worked out for them, they got.

really fortunate. I promise you that. everyone you admire, everyone you look. up to had a season of their life where. they were dedicated, immersed, and. devoted to what you see them doing now. And guess what? When you're learning a. new skill, when you're building a. muscle, you actually feel more. motivated. You get way more excited. You. actually start to fall in love with the. process. If you're just focused on the. success and the win, you'll actually be. demoralized. But when you start to think. that you're making progress, you're.

actually gaining momentum, that starts. to make you feel better about your whole. life, and all of a sudden, you're. showing up to work with more energy. You. show up to your friends' evening with. more energy, and everyone's like, "What. happened to you? Where did this come. from?" And you're like, "Because I can. see myself growing. I can see myself. taking steps forward. I can see myself. taking action." That's where confidence. comes from. Confidence comes from. building competence. and evidence that you show up for. yourself. When you build your skills and.

competence, and when you show up for. yourself repeatedly and build evidence, that's where you get confidence from. And confidence shines into every area of. your life. Here's the last thing I want. to leave you with. You will never regret. working a little bit harder. for something you care about. We already. work so hard for things we don't care. that much about. We may have to do a job. that we have to do. We may have to show up in certain places.

because we have to. There are so many. things you work hard at that you don't. love and don't care about. Imagine what. your life would look like if you worked. a little bit harder to care about the. things that are important to you. Imagine what you could achieve. Imagine. what's possible. And then do the work. Take that step. Take that action. Remember, I'm forever in your corner. I'm always rooting for you. And I can't. wait to see what you build in your 5 to. 9. If this episode resonated with you, you'll love my conversation with tennis.

legend Novak Djokovic. He shares how. discipline, self-belief, and spiritual. growth shaped his career. >> Not having success is not an option. Like, I have to succeed. It's basically. a matter of existence, a survival of my. family.