#1 Framework Successful People Are Using (Use THIS When Your Motivation Disappears)
Failure does not exist, it's just data. It's going to make you question a lot of. things about yourself, if you're. capable, if it's worth it. >> What do you successful people have that. people who don't make it don't [music]. have? >> They keep going even when it stops being. exciting. [music]. >> How do we stop comparing our timelines. to everyone else's? >> Success does not have a finish line, so. we can't compare something that does not. exist. Once you believe you are better than. anyone else, you're done. >> Carl Centauro, welcome to On Purpose.
It's great to have you here. >> Thank you so much for having me. I'm so. excited. >> Carl, I've been such a fan of yours from. afar. We don't know each other. We just. met today. But I've been following your. content. It's always direct, it's clear, the message is easy to understand, easy. to apply. There are millions of people across the. world that are following you, learning. from you. And you just told me that the. number one Google question about you is, is Carl Centauro AI? >> Well, I think we all in this room can. confirm.
that I'm not. So, I love it. >> yet. I'm not sure yet. >> Is Jay Shetty doing the first hologram. ever? >> No, no, no. I would not do an AI. interview. >> So, yeah, I'm very much real. >> you feel? How does that make you feel. when people are asking that question? >> so funny because I'm in the actual tech. space. So, I develop softwares. I'm in. an AI. And when they started asking me. about these things, I'm like, it kind of. makes sense, but at the same time. as soon as I started posting more. content, a lot of the people started. realizing it was not. I still get a few. questions here and there, but it was. mostly about me coming into the space of.
social media because what I do is like. the fun side of my life. What I actually. do is tech. So, I came into this space. and I understood it because no one had. seen me before. And in this moment that. we are, you don't know what's real or. what's not. So, I kind of understood it, and that's the point that I understood. that I had to go more into stories, show. people a little bit here and there about. me being real. Honestly, it was funny, and me being the first interview here, and I'm I'm super happy that people got. to see that I'm a real person.
>> [laughter]. >> Absolutely. Talk to me about if someone. listens to this episode today, what do you want them to walk away with? What do you want them to feel? How do. you want them to change their life? >> To be honest, like just like the name of. the podcast, purpose. I got into social. media and everything that you see, I got. into this space because I didn't want. people to feel behind in life because of. what they see. I feel like nowadays we. can fuse very easily. And the men's. side, I was talking about this the other. day, if you are not flunting cash.
outside of Lamborghini and doing all. these things that you see, you're. behind. If you're a woman and you don't. have a brick and bag and if you don't. have, you know, a bouquet of roses that. was out of a jet, oh my gosh, like I I. don't have the right person. And that is. not real life. I hated the romanticism. that we're seeing in entrepreneurship. just because real life is not doing a. Canva template and saying to people, "Do. this course and you'll be financially. free." And then people believe that, and. that's not real life. We all have.
struggles, we all go through things in. our lives, even if it's relationships or. work. I want people that every time they. listen to something, it's purpose. You're not behind, you're on track, you're not on a race with anyone. And. that's why I love so much everything. that you portray, and that's why I. wanted to come here so much because this. is real life. And I feel like the type. of content that we put out, everyone. relates in a different way. I feel like. we're all in the same boat. But we all have different destinations. At the end of the day, we all have. problems. In this room, we all have a.
problem. And it's not rare, but it's just how we. can get support from now online. So. beautiful things that I follow, a lot of. the guests that have been here and have. a voice. And I feel like we all have a. voice and we all have a story, and if we. can put it out there, and people can. relate in their own way, I think that's. the purpose of life. >> You spoke about timelines there. You. spoke about this idea of not being. behind. How do we stop comparing our timeline to. everyone else around us when it feels. like we're so overexposed, like you.
said, to the cars, the Birkin bag, the. bank balance, the jet, the whatever it. may be? Now, you know, before you'd. compare yourself to. the 20 people in your class at school. Now, you can see what 20,000 people. across the world are doing. How do we stop comparing our timeline to. everyone else's? >> There's no race. They made us believe. that there's an invisible finish line. And success does not have a finish line. So, we can't compare something that does. not exist. I'm going to tell you a.
little bit about me. When I graduated. from high school, I did not go with the. traditional path, let's say. I saw all. my friends going to college, doing all. this college life, and I knew that. college wasn't for me. It was in my. path. And at first, it was when social. media just started popping off. And I. remember posting. And I remember my. so-called friends talking about me in. group chats and stuff. And that's the. thing that a lot of people are afraid to. go out there because of the group. What. will they say? And I was like, "What. will they say about what? It's your.
life. Let them talk for a little bit.". Then, when you make it, everyone knows. you. Everyone is your friend. So, what. I'd like to say is like there is no. race. There is no invisible finish line. You cannot compare to something that. does not exist. When you follow your own. path, when you follow your own passion, a lot of people will not understand. >> Mhm. >> And that is for sure. When you're doing. something different, people will tell. you you're crazy. People will tell you. that's not the right path to go. And. it's because they're talking about their. insecurities, not about the reality of. what you can portray. So, when I started. on social media, I remember myself.
putting out there like years ago because. I had an account, it was all about. different things that weren't hot now. It was about fashion and trips and. stuff. And I remember. all these people that I thought were my. friends. And if someone's listening to. to this and thinks that their friends. are going to talk about you because. you're online, they're going to talk. about you. And that's beautiful. And if you get. four likes and all the people that you. thought they were going to support you. and that you thought they were going to. buy your product, you thought they were. going to put a like on your new page for. your brand and they don't, that is.
showing you who your true circle is. That is showing you that you are doing. something that they are not willing to. do, which is expose yourself, which is. putting yourself out there. And that is. bravery to the max. And I think that today seeing all these. things about comparing ourselves online. about people that are younger than. ourselves cuz a lot of people are like, "Oh my goodness, he's 20 and he's. already a millionaire." Well, that's. perfectly fine. KFC started when he was. 75 or 70 something. And then you see. Vera Wang, she decided her first like.
we've seen this. There's no timeline for. success. So, if you're patient, I was. just telling to my team here and I was. talking to them about this and I'm like, "If you're not in a rush about posting, at first you're not going to get likes.". That's fine. If you're not in a rush, you're going to get there. So, there's. no comparison about you being younger or. being older. My parents are 60s and. they're reinventing themselves. They're. like, "I want to do something. different." They're 60s. I started young when I was 18 doing. political things. with no experience at all and now I'm.
about to turn 29 and people are like, "Oh my gosh, you're a baby." I'm like, "Yes, but during this 10 years I didn't. compare myself to anyone else and just. follow my path, follow my gut and I will. have got the chance to work with. presidential campaigns, Fortune 500 CEOs. and it was my path. So, if you still. want to do it, get the advice from. people that are online, but don't. compare to it. Just get it and go out, put yourself out there. >> Any successful person I've interviewed. or talked to, this idea of knowing how. to deal with whatever one thinks of you.
is huge. It's It's one of the biggest. things. I was sharing yesterday last. night. I was just mentioning to you that. I was interviewing Emma Greed for her. book launch here in London at the. Hackney Empire and she's from East. London. I'm from London, so it was a. really really special feeling and I. shared this quote that I've shared many. times, but every time I say it it has. such an impact on me and and everyone. who hears it. It's from Charles Horton. Cooley. He said it in 1890. And the fact he said it in 1890 tells us.
everything. He said the challenge today. is. I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what. you think I am. I am what I think you. think I am. >> I love that. And it's. >> that quote is so brilliant statement. Yeah, he's saying that we live in a. perception of a perception of ourselves. So we think if everyone thinks I'm. smart, then I feel smart. But if. everyone else thinks I'm weak, then I. feel weak. >> You know what? I heard this and it's. called the Marilyn Monroe effect. So she. showed up herself how she wanted to be.
portrayed. So she was an orphan and she. didn't have the means to be who she was. supposed to be. So I'm like if you want. to be Hollywood actress, if you want to. do all these things and you think you. don't have these things, Marilyn showed. up as the person she wanted to be. And I. love that because. once you believe in yourself so much, you're going to make it. Like I always. say, you're going to make it. I didn't. have the contact, I didn't have the. money to do what I think and I just. worked so hard and believed in myself so. hard in the talents and the capabilities. I had to.
that it start showing and that's when. people start calling you. So it's just. about believing in yourself so much. >> What are the top three traits you. believe successful people have. that people who don't make it don't. have? >> They always ask me what's the difference. with the 1%? They keep going. even when it stops being. exciting. >> Mhm. >> A lot of people start. They get the domain. They get the. username. They get excited, do a some Canva post. and then nobody likes. Nobody buys. The. idea is not good. The idea is not the.
problem. It's that you're not patient. enough. And then you have to be honest with. yourself. And I think the honesty is. that you have to tell yourself that it's. not going to be easy. That it's going to require a lot of. effort. And once you're honest with that, you. have to be on a track that your vision. has to be so strong, but the path to getting there. has to be flexible. >> Mhm. >> So, I feel like the 1% is always. patient, is always honest, and the.
vision has to be so strong, but the path. to getting there has to be flexible. >> Mhm. >> Once you understand that, you're going to understand that your. timing is not the timing that you want. I took 10 years to get where I am. So, when people see like, "Oh, she's an. overnight success." Overnight success. does exist after you work 10 years with. nobody watching and nobody clapping for. you, that's when it shows. >> Mhm. >> So, be patient, be honest with yourself, and be very stubborn with your vision,
but the path to get there flexible. >> Yeah. >> So, that's the that's the 1% difference. Once it stops being exciting, be so. repetitive about the boring stuff. that you're going to make it. >> Mhm. >> Because everyone thinks a success is. exciting. To get here, to do this. podcast, the logistics behind it. This. is the fun part when we get to talk. But in any brand, in any any business, any relationship, the boring stuff is. what makes everything stick together. In. a relationship, I love talking about. relationships because I feel like it's.
been so romanticized about things that. a relationship is a thing that you work. on every single day. In a business, you. work on relationships with your team, with your employees, even with yourself. So, it's a matter of just repeating the. boring stuff over and over again and. getting better at it. >> Mhm. >> And listening to other people. Also, one. more thing that we're talking about that. is listening. I feel like once you think. you know it all, you know nothing. That's the kind of thing. Once you.
believe you are better than anyone else, you're done. In my thing, in my company, what we do every Monday, I'm the last. one to speak because if you speak first. as a boss, as a CEO, then everyone's going to agree with you. because they might be afraid not to give. you the the reason yes, you're you're. good. Yes, the yes, yes, yes. I don't. want yes people around me. I want people. to make me better. And that happens with. relationships. You want your partner to. make you better. Right now I'm in a. beautiful relationship that has make me.
a better entrepreneur, a better woman, a. better because they raise you up. It's. not that you're comfortable, but they. make you better. I have beautiful. friends who want me to succeed. So, it's a matter of, you know, I feel. just listening, the power of listening, not knowing it all. That's how you learn. until the last day of your life if you. listen, you learn. And you get to know people. better. About about the people who love. to talk more as well because people talk. too much, you know that. They're they're. the ones who.
usually, not always, but are the least. and have the least to portray. >> You just reminded me of Eric Schmidt, the former CEO of Google. He had a principle that he called don't. listen to the hippo in the room. >> Love that. >> And hippo stands for highest paid. person's opinion. >> Love that. >> And he said the same thing. He said if I. speak in a leadership meeting or the. most successful or wealthy person in the. room speaks, everyone around them will. just agree. And so, it's better to allow.
everyone else. One thing that you. mentioned that really stands out to me, you said what differentiates. the winners from the people who don't. make it is that they keep working when. it's not exciting. And I think that's. where the follow your passion movement. went wrong because people had this. belief that if I follow my passion or if. I do my purpose, everything's going to. be easy. I'm going to wake up happy. every day. I'm absolutely going to love. everything I do. Not realizing that. actually if you follow your passion,
there's going to be lots of days where. you're doing things you don't want to. do, where things are not exciting, where. you're not winning, where things are not. working out. And you're spot-on that. being able to work when things are. uncomfortable is what differentiates the. top 1%. And so, how do you keep going? How do you keep trying and experimenting. when things feel slow and they're not. going your way? How do we stay patient. to your first point? >> So, I like giving this example. When you.
go to the gym the first time, everything. hurts and you see nothing but just. internal pain. And then if you keep. going, you start seeing a little bit here and. there with muscle, you start seeing here. and there a tighten. That's the same. effect. Following your purpose and your. passion is hard because you're not going. the traditional way, right? And when. you're not going the traditional way, it's going to hurt. It's going to make. you question a lot of things about. yourself, if you're capable, if it's. worth it, why it's not working, why am I. doing wrong, is it a bad and it's not.
But once [snorts] you surpass that pain, that internal pain, you start seeing. results and it's quiet. Success is quiet. at first. It's not easy because you are not. exposed. It's just you yourself in a. room maybe with a laptop and not a team. or anything. And at first, all. entrepreneurs know, you are your own PA, your own personal assistant who's. responding to emails. You are the. marketing team. You are sales, you're. everything. And that is fine. That's how we all.
started. But once you believe in the process of. that you're creating something inside of. you as well during that change because I. feel like what success really is. If. they ask me, "What is success?" Success. is who you're becoming in the process. Is the resilience you're building. It is the path to the top you're going. to be losing weight because to get there. you're going to lose friends. For sure.
you're going to lose friends because. you're not the same person. You're going. to not be able to speak about the same. things on a dinner table and that is. fine. You're going to maybe lose family. members who didn't believe in you. And that is fine as well. And you're going to lose a part of. yourself that you might not notice. because in that silence of not noticing. changes, you're changing. And that is. already success. So on the way to the top I always say. the top is not closed. People at the top. will want to help you. I heard a friend.
of mine saying. a lot of people aren't helping me. And. I'm like you don't need a lot of people. You don't need a lot of people. You just. need one. If you have a one person who grabs you. by the hand tells you I'm going to I'm. going to help you. I'm going to. introduce you to someone. That might be enough. You don't need an. army of people to succeed. You need. first to believe in yourself and then. just one person to introduce you. So the. top is not closed. The thing is that the. top is cold. People were not expecting. to be that cold cuz when you get to the. top it gets lonely sometimes.
Because since you lost a lot of things. during the process of getting there it's. a new you. And at the top there are fewer voices. So that means that you have more time to. think. As a CEO you have it's you. deciding. You don't get to run to other. people lots of times. So that's when. your mind has to be very clear on. listening on who you are. and being so sure that any decision that. you make either it turns into good or.
bad. it's you at the top who got there who. made all decisions to get there and. you're going to be fine. So I feel like. the same thing. Once you understand that there's going. to be silence, that you're going to lose. people, that you're going to grieve an. old part of yourself, you're ready. And. you're the climb is slow and you lose. people, but it's worth it. >> I always say to people. you'll get to where you want in life, just not in the way you imagine it. >> 100%. >> Because all of us have a visual of what. the path looks like. And then reality next to it, which.
doesn't look like that at all. And then we start thinking, well, this. can't be the right path because it. doesn't look like what I envisioned. It. doesn't look like the idea I had in my. mind. And reality is saying, "No, no, no, this is what it's going to look. like." And we just keep debating. We. keep fighting it. And then you don't. take the step forward in reality because. it doesn't look like the one in your. dream. >> In my case, I started so different from. where I am now. >> about that. >> So, I graduated from high school like I. mentioned, and I wanted to be what it. was It was a blogger in that time cuz it.
was like an actual blog. >> [snorts]. >> And I started posting, and at first it. was like nothing. And it was kind of. tough cuz all of my friends were talking. about me. And "Ooh, she thinks she's an. influ-" That wasn't an influencer. It. was "Ooh, she thinks she's a blogger, you know?" But. that's so cool when they underestimate. you. I love being underestimated because you. get to build quieter. You don't have. pressure. You don't have to prove. anything to anyone. >> to fail anyway. >> Yes. So, why not do it? >> It's a good place to be, yeah. >> Yeah. I love it. So, when I started. posting these things.
later on today they all are my friends. They all know me. And they all want. something. That's the path. When I. started, I thought it was going to be. into fashion. But once I started getting invited into. Fashion Week I understood the power of. technology and where it was going. So, I. started calling all these brands that. were inviting me to Fashion Week, and I. started doing their social media. accounts. So, once I understood the. power of social media, I went into my. first presidential campaign. I managed. my first presidential campaign. Then it. led me to a second one, third. And I'm. starting my fourth one. So, if you told. me that I would end up in politics, and.
then that led to cybersecurity, me. developing softwares in cybersecurity. I would have never believed it. Or me. being a political strategist. Never would have thought in a second. So, if you told me that by age 29, 29 I. would have been divorced, I would have. never believed it. And that is fine. I. remember when I got divorced, it was. something like, "Ooh, uh she's so young. and she got divorced." And I always love. to talk about it because it's not a. taboo thing. Like, I got the most. amicable divorce ever. It was all good, but it's just things that happen. And.
life will just throw things at you that. you're not prepared. But, the resilience. comes through the hardest moments of. your life. And in that moment, through all the. things that I've been through, and now I. started into this path of social media. of what I do, this is the fun things. I. get messages from all around the world. about people me changing their lives, which I would have never envisioned it, right? So, I always say to to the people I coach. and to people I talk to, do you. Don't do any Everyone else is taken,
right? I've heard that the phrase, you. know, everyone's taken, just be you. And in my case, I'm young, but I've. lived so much. Even my Spotify account. says that I'm 63 years old. [laughter]. And I totally believe it. I'm an old. soul. >> You mean you mean when it does the. Spotify rap, it tells you what you. listen to, yeah? >> exactly. I'm like, okay, yeah, this. makes sense. Exactly, this makes sense. So, it's just a matter of like, do you. Do whatever. Dress if you if you want to. dress in a certain way, dress in a. certain way. You want to go a different. path that is not the typical one? Do it.
And don't criticize others. It's so important because that energy. that you're portraying by criticizing or. doing, it's not coming back to you in a. good way. I was talking to a friend of. mine the other day, and she said, "Oh, I. heard this friend of ours had a baby, and she thinks she's an a mom. influencer." I thought I'm like, "That's. so cool." But, the way she said it, and. it's those things that I hear it all the. time. She thinks she is. Oh, she thinks. she's a singer. She thinks she's a. designer. She is a designer. She might not be at the top yet, but. she's going to get there. She's not the.
top influencer, but she's going to get. there in her own timing. So, the way. that we portray words is so important. because if someone has blue hair. and you are staring at her because she. has blue hair, let her. It's just like. the Mel Robbins thing, right? That's. like let them. let her. If they want to do something. different that you are not engaged with. let them be. You do you. You focus on. yourself so much that your energy I've. heard this over and over. Successful. people cannot criticize others because. they don't have the time for it. They're.
so focused on being better of For. example, I feel like us sitting here. I'm happy about your success. I'm happy. about you having a production company. I'm truly happy. Like when I saw it, I. called Paige, who's been so wonderful. Like Paige, if you're listening to this. It was so good because I'm happy for it. because I know what it takes to get to. certain places. And when people read headlines and when. we put something out there, it's not to. brag. I always say when people put a. vacation there, it's not to brag. If. people put something in their social.
media, sometimes it's not to brag. It's. sometimes a way of saying, you know, the. times they said no to a lot of things to. get there. >> Mhm. >> So many times they had to cry themselves. to sleep to finally purchase the car. they've been saving for. So a lot of times we read social media. in the ways that we want to read. If. it's with envy, we can twist envy in a. way. If you're jealous about something, let it be for good. Let it be for if he. can do it, I can do it. >> Yeah. >> But not in a way of like, oh, he has it. then I it's not for me or I cannot have. it. There's room for everyone. The world.
can give so much. The doors are not. closed. to just do you be happy with your and. read the things differently. Be happy. for others. Truly, we are in a society. that is so jealous, so confused because. they don't have it. And I know there's. tough times. But in the toughest times, it's when people can arise. They can. become the person they want to become. I. remember one time I had like $12 to my. name and I was looking at my bank. account and I could have had it.
>> Where where you at that time? >> It was when I just started and I needed. to do like my first website for my It. was when e-commerce was starting. booming. And I remember that YouTubers, that's. one of the one of the things they were. like, "You're going to become a. billionaire if you do this product." And. Amazon FBA was called, I think, or. something like that. And I was like, "Ooh, I'm going to get into e-commerce.". So, I saw all these YouTubers. It was. like 12 years ago. And I got into it. I paid this guy to do. my website. And he basically got my.
card. I was naive. He I gave him my card. and basically he took like all the. money. Didn't receive anything. And in. that moment, I understood the power of. anything like like trust. Like I trust. in the guy, it failed. It was a lesson. And I opened my bank account and I feel. like we've all been there when you look. at your bank account and you're like, "Oh my gosh, the overdraft fee." And all. these things, right? And there was two. options. Either I sat there and cried. or I started to work. That's how we got.
into tech. I learned how to code my own. website because I didn't have money to. pay someone to do my website. And I realized later on how I got into. tech was by a moment of failure. Which I love to say failure does not. exist, it's just data. It's just giving. you more information. And in those. moments where you're like, "What am I. going to do with my life?". >> Yeah. >> And a lot of things I feel like people. right now in in the world are struggling. with financial situations like ever. before.
And in those moments, I want you to know. that I feel like all successful people. have been there. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Like it's not easy to get to where you. want to get. And on my way here, I remember that a lot of people think. they see the car or they see the bag or. the watch and they they want that. And. I'm like, "It's fine. You You can get. there.". But real success is not assets. Real. success is who you become in the. process. And a real success once you get. there is who you share it with. >> Yeah. >> Because once you get there.
it's like who I want to share the news. Before I came here, I called my partner. I'm like I'm so excited. He was like oh. you you look so beautiful. Congratulations. I'm like they're happy. for me. I called my friend and she's. like oh my gosh I'm so excited for you. I brought here my team. They're so. excited for me. It's who you share it. with. And I would say in friendship, if. there's a slight. chance of envy or jealousy, the the. friendship is gone. Because they are with you. And the. second they're competing with you, it's. broken.
People who are around you have to be. happy about your success because they. know their timing is coming. They're. following their own timeline and they're. happy for you. And that's so important. who you share success with. >> Big news, Juni just launched at Kroger. and we're celebrating with a free can. for you. Because most of us hit that. point in the afternoon when our energy. dips and the focus starts to fade. Well, that's exactly why we created Juni. A. sparkling drink crafted with natural. ingredients to lift your mood, sharpen.
your focus and give you smooth energy. all without the crash. Now available at. Kroger stores including Ralphs, Fred. Meyer, King Soopers, Smiths and Frys. where you can grab a free Juni on us. So. head to drinkjuni.com /kroger to claim. your free can in store so you can feel. better and live better. Yeah, I'm so. glad [snorts] you brought up these. more underlying things when it comes to. success, especially when you talk about. not criticizing others because I feel. like as soon as we hear about someone.
doing something. and if we're aware of it and they're. doing it a little bit better than us. everyone gets really really critical. and we're being critical because we're. being competitive. We don't even agree. with what we're saying. We're just. saying it because oh it's uncomfortable. to hear that someone's doing it better. than me, that someone's getting it right. compared to me. And I think what that does is it creates. a culture of criticism in our mind where. now. I think about this all the time. My. friends who are doing well on social. media will never laugh at someone else.
on social media. >> No. >> They'll only send me the good stuff that. other people are doing. They'll say, "Hey, did you see this update? Did you. see what this person just launched? Did. you see what this person invested in?". And all of my friends who are doing. badly on social media will always send. me a video of someone to laugh at them. They'll be like, "Oh, did you see what. Oh, look at the Let's laugh at this.". And it's fascinating to me how you get. lost in that world and you feel better. about yourself. So, what I found is. if you're doing well, you feel better. when other people are doing better. because it shows you there's more. opportunity.
>> 100%. >> But when you're doing badly, you feel. happier when other people are doing. worse because that makes you feel like a. bit of an ego boost. And so, I think. it's such a good tell as to whether. you're focused on yourself or whether. you're not because of the critical. piece. The other thing that you. mentioned that really stood out to me is. this idea of sharing it with people. Earlier, you talked about the idea of. being lonely at the top. And I think. people are also lonely at the top. because they don't know how to build the. friendships that you're talking about.
because you can't control whether your. friend's envious of you or not. You You. can't control that. How do you maintain. good relationships on your way up so. that you don't get to the top and then. go, "Oh, I want to make friends now". because once you're at the top, you. don't know why someone wants to be. friends with you. >> Exactly. >> So, how do you maintain great. friendships on the way up without. knowing if someone's envious of you or. not? >> I think that you change your circle. It's going to happen because people. you're doing business with usually end. up being your friends. And the old circle just stays where they. are and not because it's wrong, but.
because their lives are different. And. if you're doing something. non-conventional, you're hanging out. with non-conventional people with minds. that don't see the impossible, right? So, I think you just change of circle. And that happens in life. Sometimes your. group chat went silent, someone had a. baby, someone got married, someone went. abroad, and the group go silent. And. then, that's just life. The other day I. was at a dinner and I heard them talk. badly about you. And the response was. like, "That doesn't matter. What matters. to me is why they felt comfortable doing.
in your presence if you're supposed to. be my friend.". So, that's how you know. >> Say that again. That's good. >> If someone's talking about you and they. come to you, a friend comes to you and. says, "I was at a dinner and they were. talking about the about you.". The thing is not why they were talking. about me badly. It's because why they. were so comfortable talking about me in. your presence if you're supposed to be. my friend. Right? So, I love that because if it's a. true friend, they're not going to dare. to talk about badly about you.
So, that's the thing. I think circles. changes. I feel like in my life, my my. circles have changed multiple times, and. that's just life. That's just the circle. of life. And if you're married, sometimes your partner's friends are. going to be your friends. If you get. divorced, maybe it splits. If you go to. college, it's your college friends for. that time. Then, you depart from that. city and then you have a new city and. you become new friends. So, I always. talk about. being an immigrant as well and following. your dreams. Cuz I feel like in a way, everyone that pursues something usually.
leaves home. And when you get there, you're praying. that the lease you had is good enough. And if you're reading a yogurt flavor. that you know the brand is good, and. then you make your first set of friends. And they are starting to show you the. city, and then they become your person. in that city, and then you're pursuing a. dream. So, it's just like I feel like it. changes. Wherever you go, whoever you. want. Sometimes it's who can take you. there. >> Yeah. >> Right? And you're hanging with them.
because you see that the possibilities. So, it's just a matter of like life. I. feel like it's just like the circle of. life. >> Yeah, I think that's fair. I I feel. really fortunate that. I've got friends who I've been friends. with for probably about 20, 25 years are. still in my life. And. you're spot-on the reason that we can. all still be friends is because I. hopefully am not. an arrogant douche and and they're. extremely [laughter] and they're. extremely non-envious and I think those. two things work really, really well. together when.
exactly to your point earlier that I. have a great group of friends who aren't. envious, are not competitive, are not, you know, trying to take me down. And. then on the other side, you're. absolutely right, your circle changes. and you meet new people that understand. your new life. And I think that's what. it is. I think people think when your. circle changes it makes it feel like, "Oh, because you're doing better, you. want to be around people that are doing. better." It's actually not that. It's. actually people understanding you. at different stages of your life, who. have seen you in different phases, who.
understand the pain you go through. So, I have lots of friends in my industry. The best thing is we can all relate to. each other when we're going through the. same things. >> Exactly. >> And my friends from back home, they've. seen the full picture of me and so I. love that, too, because they know me. deeper than anyone else on the planet. because they've seen me from day one. >> Exactly. >> So, that idea that your friends change. and your circle changes. is valuable at the same time as I. encourage people to be like, "You don't. have to leave everyone behind.". >> No.
>> And and you can open up the door for. other people as well. >> 100%. There was this beautiful story. I. met one of the survivors of the Andes. crash. and they were set of a group of friends. who were leaving for a rugby tournament. and. the plane crashes and I think if. someone's seen the show on the movie on. Apple cuz it's great, I invite them to. watch it, but I I was talking to one of. the survivors and he said was something. beautiful that takes me. out of like bad days because I'm like, "You're a group of friends who crashed. in the snow, a lot of them died there. and you stay there for 72 days stranded.
in snow. And I'm like, how did you pull through?". And he's like, "All of us friends. was important to see one good thing. every day. And he said something beautiful. I'm. like, are you saying this because it. sounds good? And he's like, no, because. when you're in the snow and there's no. sound and you just see plain white, you find beauty in things that you. didn't understand before. He said, while. they were listening like at the rain. or the snow falling, they're like, God. is present.
And if God made all of this, that means. he's here with us. And I find it beautiful. I'm truly. believer in God and I feel like once you. leave everything to him, everything. starts becoming beautiful. And in that. point when he told me that in 72 days. stranded in the snow, they saw one. beautiful thing. >> 72 days? >> 72 days in the cold with no food. Like. it was bad. But then I asked him. something. I'm like, how did you know. you're going to survive? And he said. this, because no one told us it was.
impossible. And that is something that you can take. to you every morning of your life. You. want to embark into a new chapter of. your life. and they tell you it's impossible. The. market saturated, by the way, the market. saturated was invented by someone with. low creativity. >> [laughter]. >> To be honest. >> So true. >> Uh but it's just you believe in yourself. because usually people put their own. fears into our own ideas and our own. dreams. So that's why we believe in them. and we think we cannot make it. So when. he said that, I truly believe in it so. much because he said, what if we would.
have been stranded with a lot of people. around it, the odds of everyone saying, oh, they're not going to make it. Oh, what is 72 days in the cold? They're not. going to make it. Would have been. higher, right? So he said, nobody told. us that it was impossible and seen one. good thing in your life. And I truly. believe in that. I I believe in that on. the worst days that I have, I find one. good thing. And once you find that one. good thing, you push through. You wake up one more. day be like, one more day to fix any problem that I. have. One more day to try again.
One more day to become the person I want. to become. One more day. One day at a. time. That's why I don't believe in 5-year. plans. And 5-year plans with the advance. of technology everything that doesn't. exist. You know how I hire people? It's the funniest thing. I love resumes, that's all good. Love that. But, I. usually take them to a smoothie ride. I. take them with me to a smoothie. And I. love how they treat people. I see how they treat the waiter or the. person at the cashier. I see. decisiveness on ordering. They're going.
to take to like forever or you know. And. then while we're sitting in a casual. environment, I ask questions about life, right? And when you get to know that. person's going to be part of your team, being good, being a good person, kind. heart, honest, and has values, the resume will follow. But if you don't have that as a person, the rest doesn't matter. You can have. Ivy League people on your team, that. doesn't mean anything. But they're kind people. I I hired the. other day someone It was impressive. I.
was doing this speech in Dubai. And then this guy had come from India. And [snorts]. he didn't know how to speak English. So, he wrote on a piece of paper. something and he showed it to me. Once I. was doing a meet and greet, and it was. basically him saying that he was in tech. and that he had saved the last amount of. money and asked his mom to come to Dubai. to meet me and had a chance to work at. my company. And I thought that was so brave because. he didn't have the language. He.
spent the last cent to come and and see. me and he was taking a chance. And. that's what I love the three C's of. life. Challenges, choices, and change. Challenges, we all have them. And life will throw at us every single. day. But then you have the chance to. make a choice. And once you have that, this guy, I. hired him on the spot. He showed me what. he I thought it was so brave what he had. done. So, when I see people that have. everything. and oh, and he had Tourette's syndrome.
So, when he started talking to me, he. was like having a a situation. and showing with a piece of paper. trembling. And I thought it was so brave. because the meaning of being brave. is not that you're fearless. >> [snorts]. >> Is that even though you have fear, you're going to go for it. >> Mhm. >> And that moment he was so brave and I. just gave him a hug and I'm like, come. come Monday to my office. I'll pay the. hotels, don't worry about it. I'll take. care of it. His mom just passed away now.
and he was a big chance that he was in. my team. So, it's just a matter of like. people. if you have. air in your lungs. if you get the chance to wake up one. more day, you can do it. You can totally do it. I believe in that. so much. I have such amazing people. I. didn't get here alone. Like nobody gets there alone. You have. people that have helped you. When this. guy told me that he has survived in this. situation and seen good thing and his. friendships. Oh, and one more thing he.
told me. He said that between all them, they couldn't complain. >> Mhm. >> And I thought it was so beautiful. because in our everyday, we complain so. much about dumb things. that if you use that energy to complain, you're going another way. It's it's the. wrong way to go. And he said that during. the snow, it was a no complaining, loving each other, seeing one good thing. and knowing that nobody told them that. it was impossible to survive. So, in. your everyday, I feel like what he said. is like nobody can tell you you're not. capable of doing something. See one. beautiful thing every single day and do.
not complain. >> That's a great story. That's a That's a. great experience. You said we can watch. the Is it a movie or a doc? >> a movie. It's called The Society of. Snow. >> Oh, okay. >> It's fantastic and it. >> Wow. >> The scenes are so. >> It's true obviously. It's a real story. >> you see that, oh my gosh, you see like. how how did they actually survive? But. that's the thing. I feel like those. those type of situations when people go. through that. It was just like the Hudson River crash. And I heard this beautiful story. The. pilot said, "One engine is out, the. other one is out as well.".
This guy goes, "I realized in that moment when the. plane was crashing. that I haven't loved my wife enough, that I didn't have to spend time with my. friends." All these things that you are. waiting to do someday. >> Wow. >> Right? And that's like we we have our. planes crashing every single day. Sometimes we feel like we're down and. under, but that's the moment of wake-up. call. That's the moment when you take a. deep breath. I I like myself when I'm. feeling down doing the 10-second rule, and it's just counting myself 10, 9, 8. Even like rockets, they count backwards. because they're going to go up.
So, I feel myself like that even when I. don't feel like I count myself 10, 9, 8, 7. And once I get to 1, I'm up and I'm. doing. So, it's little rules here and. there I place myself, and nobody taught. me. Another thing I like to call is the. rule of nines. So, people who like. productivity tips, I put like a Tic Tac. board, and it's like nine squares. And. if you just put nine squares throughout. your day or throughout your week, and. you cross them, the mind loves. completion. So, if you cross it out. physically, I love tech, but I like some. things physically to cross it out on. post-it notes and just cross it out.
Your brain loves completion, and you. feel like you're advancing more than if. you think that your brain can hold. everything together. It can't, but once you feel completion, it's fantastic. So, certain things that. I've learned, it's like when when you're. in school and they put a happy a happy. face sticker, and you're like, "Yay!". And you're happy. When we're adults, we. don't have that. So, we have to give. that to ourselves, and we have to give. the grace of us trying. >> Mhm. >> Nobody gave us the blueprint of life. I think that people made us believe that. we have another day,
that we have more time. Time to love, time to forgive, more time to try that. thing that we want to start. But life life is moments. And we think that we own those moments, but we don't. And that's why we have to make the most. of it. And at the end of the day, when. when our time comes, I don't want to be. able to say I wish I had. Because when the time comes, I want to say. I tried. I loved. I did it my way.
And the invisible footprint that you're. leaving in someone else's life, that's what matters. I heard the other day that when you die, men especially, get their first set of. roses or a bouquet of flowers. And that was beautiful in a way because. why do we say all these things when. people die? Why do we hand them a set of. flowers when we can do it when we're. alive? They said that two times that people are. gathered in your life, all important. people in your life are. either at your wedding.
or at your funeral. Right? And I thought that is sad in a. way. Because real life Real life is trying. Real life is failing. I don't believe in. failure. It's just data, but let's call. it failure. I believe in the power that we have as. humans to grab each other's hands and be. better. Right now in this time of our. lives, we see more division than ever. And we see division because we don't. understand and when we don't understand. something, it's easier to criticize. It's easier to.
hate. And nowadays, with the media, with the. world and what's going on, I believe in. the unity. I believe that we're separated by things. that should never be separated. And I love that if we can get the. message of just unity, that we're all. humans. Under this skin, we are all. bones. We're all the same. And I believe as humans, we can give. each other the hand of love and the. power of sincerity and the power of You. know what? I can help you.
And if you need someone, I will call you. and check in on your friends. There's so. much loneliness. It's a new epidemic. It's a new pandemic. Loneliness. And especially with economic situation. as well as like people are not happy and. able to have kids and now that I work in. the political space as well and when you. ask someone, "Oh, why are you not having. babies?" It's not because they don't. want to, because maybe, you know, they. can't afford. People who are lonely. because they got divorced or they're in. depression and I do believe that now, especially now, we can come together as.
humans, not as political parties, not as. race, not as nations, but as humans. The other day I was sitting at a table. where there were Christians, where there. were Jews, where there were each one of. literally Arabs, Muslims, like it was it. was beautiful. And I told them, "Do you realize there's. one of each. religion?". And we can all talk. Because we can all listen to each other. And then it's beautiful, but now that I.
I've been moving around in Ubers, the the other day my Uber driver asked. me about my religion. He was Muslim. And I asked him about his. And as soon as I got off the Uber, he. said, "Inshallah, ma'am. I hope your day. is beautiful.". And I thought it was beautiful he was. praying in his culture and his. and it's beautiful. And I told him, "God bless you.". So, the moment that we understand each. other as humans, not as political. parties, not as anything else that the.
media can portray and we just see each. other as human beings, I think that the. moment that we're sitting at the table, it's a table that should be everywhere. around the world. It's because you. listen because you understand. So, the. moment you start listening to more. people, you understand more. And getting your own opinion. >> It's so interesting now because I feel. like we're listening to more people than. ever before, but we're not hearing them. >> Exactly. >> Right, we're not actually hearing them. because there's so much noise. And today we have access to more.
cultures, more countries, more opinions. than ever before, but no No actually. hearing anyone anymore. because you're just filtering it through. your own lens. >> Because you feel that your opinion is so. set in stone that it becomes your. identity. >> Yeah, absolutely. It's because we'd. rather be right than have peace. >> Exactly. >> Yeah. >> 100% that's why when you listen to. someone truly is like what you just said. is that I feel like more and more today. with with politics or all around the. world. is that you feel that's your identity.
And that's not your identity. And once. you understand more about situations and. we have more. people talking about free press let's. say more more information different ways. that you can get your information. You. can understand but any political party. cannot be your identity. >> Mhm. >> Your identity is is something completely. different. It's who you are on your. everyday who you're becoming to for a. better person. And the other day I found this beautiful. story that I told. that there are three genies and they. decided where to hide happiness from. humans. And the one genie goes, "You. know what? Let's hide it at the bottom.
of the ocean." And the other goes, "You. know what? No, they're going to build a. submarine and they're going to find it.". Yeah, you're right. The other one says, "Let's put it at the top of the. mountain." He says, "No, you're going to. learn and put equipment and they're. going to climb and find it." And the. last genie says, "Why don't we hide it. inside them? They were never going to. dare to find it there.". And I thought it was so funny because. it's true. Cuz we're seeking happiness. externally and we've been taught that. because since we're little if it's not. an applause. it's not valid. When people say, "Let's. take a picture and post it because if.
not it didn't happen.". >> Mhm. >> You know what I love when I take a. picture that I'm never going to post. because it made me happy. >> best. That's the best, yeah. >> It's the moment that you understand. what's for you. The other day my my. partner took a picture of me and I'm. like, "Oh my gosh, I look horrible.". He's like, "No, to me you look. beautiful." No, and I want to remember. this moment and it's about moments. It's. not about externally. So when this story. about the genies just remind me of it's. true. Happiness is inside you. The purpose is. inside you. It never left. You just let. it rot in based on someone else's.
opinions and because they clap for you. So, the purpose and never left. The. other day someone told me I. fell out of my purpose. I lost my. purpose. I'm like, no, no. Your purpose is inside you. It never. left you. It was just that outside. opinion dictate your decisions. >> Yeah, it's when you feel disconnected. from yourself, you stop listening to. yourself, that. you get distracted by other people's. opinion is when you think you've lost. your purpose. >> 100%. >> Karla, I wanted to switch into a bit of.
entrepreneurship, but I want to do this. segment with you called this or that. >> Okay, I love that. >> And so, I'm going to ask you this or. that, and you're going to tell me which. one, and then why. >> Love it. >> And we're going to go through quite a. few. So, the first one. is do you believe in discipline or. motivation? >> Oh, discipline, 100%. Motivation fades. Motivation fades when everyone's I'm so. motivated. That happens a lot. I was super. motivated in January to start gym, went. twice, motivation died, I'm out, right? When people say I'm motivated to start a. new diet, but I'm going to start on. Monday. Why Monday? Why can't you just. start Thursday? Because as humans, we.
just decided that Monday was it, or. January was it. But now, oh, what what. is it? Oh, we're halfway through our. week, and it's almost June, so that. means we're halfway through the year, and that means, you know what? I'm going. to start next year. We're too late. No, motivation fades. Discipline Discipline. makes you wake up the days you don't. want to. Discipline makes you run on a. rainy day. Discipline means you're up. until 5:00 a.m. and you haven't slept, and you haven't had any food, and you're. still going because you have to finish. the task. Discipline, 100%. Olympic.
athletes, you know, and you probably. talked to so many, and it's discipline. >> Yeah, I agree. >> They don't They don't want to go and. swim on minus 2° and train for the. Olympics. It's And it's going to hurt. And that's the same thing with. entrepreneurship. It's going to hurt. It's not the same physical pain as an. athlete, but it's a different kind of. pain when you're the entrepreneur not. going to pay yourself at first a salary. You're going to pay your team first. Or. you're going to have noodles and and. pasta for the next year because you.
can't afford a lot of things. It's a. different kind of pain, but it's. discipline. And if you stick to it, it's. it's just like when people post the. first time they open an Instagram. account, they post once, they post. twice, like it's not working. Like. discipline. >> Yeah. >> Discipline. You're going to get there. You're going to learn. My first video. sucked. My first videos got like 50. likes. No, no. My first videos got my. mom, my dad likes, and probably someone. else account that followed that day and. it was a bot, right? But then it just grows and and you and. you learn from that. It's not immediate,
so discipline. >> Discipline. Okay, discipline over. motivation. Ideas or execution? >> I feel like both cuz you have to have a. strong idea of what you want to do and. not change 10,000 times the idea because. sometimes the idea is good, but you have. to execute it and change sometimes a lot. of things for that idea to work because. sometimes we think we know the industry. we're getting to, but we actually don't until we're there. And we have to. do a lot of different things like the. path to get there. Plus it's the visual.
and strong. So when people say like that. idea is bad, it's not bad. You just haven't tried one. thing for a long time to see if it's. working. So you try five different. variables and you don't know which one's. working and you think like mhm it's not. working. No, just one thing at a time. Yeah, I feel like at the same time a lot. of people have great ideas, but. they just don't stick to it for a long. period of time. >> I I'm I'm an execution over ideas. person. I feel like I've seen the worst. ideas become really successful because. someone executed really well on it. >> You see liquid death, right?
>> Yeah, yeah, of course. >> Water, like water making it water bad. >> just water. >> Just how they do it. But then Mark. Suster that we just talked about, it is not saturated. >> Tony, yeah. I mean, I was told. podcasting was saturated 7 years ago. when there was 700,000 podcasts. Today. there's 2 and 1/2 million podcasts. >> So, I fully agree with you. Last one of. these, intuition or data? >> So, I feel like intuition is data. >> Talk to me about that. >> Intuition, what is the actual meaning of. intuition? And for me, intuition is just.
all the things that you've lived, which. is data, which has given you a sense. that we don't know how to explain. Did. you know that when you're a baby, the. first organ that is born is your. stomach? So, when you feel intuition and. say, "I feel it. I I feel it." is. because. technically, it started there. So, intuition for me is just data that. you've lived in order for not to make a. mistake or in order to make a good. decision. So, in my case, a lot of the. times, when I started in my career, being a woman, young at 18, managed.
a political campaign on social media. when social media wasn't a thing, it was kind of like, "Who is she? She's. young. She doesn't have a degree. She. doesn't have the. thing, right?". But then, as I started moving, I worked. with soccer, which is fully. male-dominated. Tech is a space that has. now more and more women, but when I. started, it was me. Well, until now, I. feel like I work with 100% men on my. meetings, on on everything. And it's. just a matter of like, getting into an.
industry where you have to believe in. yourself so much that you're not drawn. apart. So, when people give me excuses. about, "I'm too young." or "I'm this and. that or that." there's no excuse. anymore. The path and the information. has now been open to so much to so many. people. I feel like before, if it was. set on a book, it was set on stone. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> Google came. If Google said it, it must have been right. Then Alexa. came. If Alexa said it, beautiful. If. Siri came, it must have been true. And. now we have ChatGPT. If ChatGPT said, the information has been out there all.
along. I started coding when there was. no ChatGPT to help me to code. Had to go. and read, actually read and go to. articles and blogs and stuff online to. try to understand. So, if you really. want it nowadays, you can do it. Like. anything as than. So, it's just intuition for me is a must. because it's just backed in by the data. that you've lived. >> Because you do so much of this in your. professional life, you're guiding people. in their presidential campaigns, you're. guiding Fortune 500 CEOs when it comes.
to their social media strategy, their. digital strategy. If someone right now wants to start. building a social media following, what. are the first three things that they. should do? >> First things, go and search your. competitors. You know what I love to do? I love to go. to Google and find not the five stars, but the three stars. Because the three. stars are giving you a path of where it. was almost good, but not terrible. And. that's your gap. So, go to Google,
search your competitors, go to. Instagram. And on Instagram, I would go even to. your page when I started. And I wanted. to see what people liked. It's not going. to be the same from you and me because. I'm going to do something totally. different. So, people are like, "Oh, she's copying." Or, "You're copying.". No, nobody's copying anything because. the warm water is already there. It's. been created, right? But, go to your. competitors. The first time I started my. first account on e-commerce, I would go. to Google. I would see the three-star. reviews. And then I would go to all the. people that I commented, I would go and.
find them on social media, I would go to their social media page. and literally invite them to go see my. page. So, when people are like, "Oh, it's not working. Nobody's following. me." I'm like, "But, have you done the. work?". >> Mhm. >> It's not easy at first, especially if. you're a solopreneur. So, first, definitely go and stalk. >> Step one, yeah. >> Your algorithm is showing you about your. same thing over and over again. So, you're saturated, that's the way to go. So, you. not intentionally, but intentionally, your subconscious tries to copy that. And you turn out to be something that.
you're not because you're copying that, right? And the biggest idea that I've. gotten for other people's brands or our. strategies that I've done have come if. I'm looking into soap, I would go to nail polish because I. would get ideas there and then we would. apply it here. So, try to make your. algorithm show you something else that's. not in your industry, because you're. saturated with that, that you think. that's the path to go and if that's not. the path to go, it's done. Force your algorithm to show. you different things. And third, be. patient. Because social media today, there's no saturation. I started 8.
months ago and built a huge platform. It's so funny, because it's like the. Mandela effect. I have people talk to me. and say, "I've been following you for. years.". >> [laughter]. >> I've been 8 months on social media. Right? So, it's just the effect that. they saw me so many times that they. think they've seen me there. But, this. is the thing, my path it can be. different from you. And if you're patient and if you don't. have a rush and if you truly believe in. yourself and your idea, you're going to. get there. So, it's just a lot of. patience. Anything in life is patience. Nothing happens in a blink of an eye.
It's like just getting your body toned. Like if you want to go on YouTube and. put, "How to get abs in 7 days?" And. there are a lot of those videos, you're. not going to get them, right? >> Yeah. >> The muscle builds and the muscle of. resilience in business, it's hard, it's. tough, but you build the muscle. You. build resilience, you build character. And for me, character is something so. important, because today we hear a lot. of people talking about success. But, what truly is success is who you are as. a person, who you're leaving with and. the values that you're leaving people. with. And in your business, if you're a.
business owner, always ABCs. The ABCs is. always be communicating. And I love. that, because if you are communicating. with your team, if you're communicating. in love, nothing can go wrong. I feel. like one of the most important things as. humans is the lack of communication. Because when there's lack of. communication, bad things happen. Everywhere. It doesn't matter what. happens, it's just it just goes bad. I. had one time when of my team had a bad. communication with a business that we. were doing and instead of putting a. zero, they added another zero and sent.
the wire. So, I was like, "Oh, that's. beautiful. Okay, what are we going to do. about it?" It was a lack of. communication between teams. So, it's. just a matter of like communicating And. love the same thing. Once communication. ends, love ends. That's something I like. to talk about is becoming an. entrepreneur is who you're with. romantically. It's very important. >> Interesting. Tell me about that. >> Who you have next to you can definitely. define you because I've seen a lot of. very talented people that can't go past. that because of the person who you have. next to it because they make them feel. stuck. If you are a woman getting into. business, I felt like.
you have to have someone that is not. afraid of you being more than them, maybe. Because there's certain stigmas. in this life that the man was the one. that provided, man was and now we see. more and more entrepreneurs, more women. who are super powerful by themselves. Right now, I have like the most. beautiful relationship, right? And I see. the difference from others because he is. happy by my success. He's happy to, you. know, help me in the ways that he can to. make me succeed, right? I have close. friends who have partners who don't make.
it easy for them. I feel like when. you're an entrepreneur, you're marrying. the vision. You're not marrying the. person. You are marrying late nights. You are marrying an idea that the other. person cannot see but has to trust you. >> Mhm. >> And when you understand that, everything. changes. Because when you marry an entrepreneur, you're marrying uncertainty, you're. marrying late nights. You're marrying. those things that having a 9-to-5 might. not give you because that's more. stability, right? But an entrepreneur,
ooh, being an entrepreneur is just. marrying an idea that might change 10. times and you have to be good with it. It might mean that they're going to miss. birthdays. >> Yeah. >> It might mean that they're in their. phone all the time. It might mean that, you know, you are on. a dinner and you have to leave to take. the call. And you have to be okay with that. Because you're marrying that person or. you're dating that person. >> Yeah. >> So, I feel like who you are with in this. lifetime can either make or break you. It is just not about being comfortable. with the idea because sometimes like I'm.
comfortable then so I'm staying. Life is. not meant to be comfortable. Life is. meant to be uncomfortable. I never want. to be comfortable. And the other day. they asked me in an interview, they. said, "But why do you want more?". I don't want more because it comes to. monetary because I want more money. It's. because I know that I'm not finished. being the woman I want want to become. And when you're becoming that, it means. you're uncomfortable. And for example, you right now entering a new space. It's. uncomfortable at times because it's more. work and it's more things and and you.
have a beautiful life. >> it on. That's That's why we take it on, yeah. >> But I can never envision myself being so. comfortable that I'm on a Tuesday night. I'm like, okay. Now what? No, I want more because life. is meant to be lived to the fullest. Meant to be used so much that, you know, I wake up every day. I came here and I. was so excited about this because, you. know what? Once you start living, I feel. like in our industry, and you get to enjoy all these cool. places and dinners and events. I.
remember the first time I got invited to. the American Music Awards after-party. and it was a Chainsmokers after-party. and I did not know anyone in the. industry. And [snorts] my friend Jason Richmond, he was at the time of the vice president. of Paramount Pictures. And I met him there. And we were sitting. at this like fireplace and he goes like, "Oh, it's so cold." And he goes that and. I go, "Yeah, yeah, yeah.". And he says, "What do you do?" And I'm. like, "Oh, I'm an influencer. I'm a. blogger." He's like, "Oh, that's so. cool. Can you come to my office to. Paramount? I'm interested in what we can.
do together." You know? Like I was. uncomfortable at that point because they. were all celebrities. I remember like. One Direction was there. Like Hailee. Steinfeld. Like it was so many people. that I did not feel comfortable. I'm. like, "What can I talk to these people. about? Like who am I?" The imposter. syndrome. And imposter syndrome at the. end of the day is just you getting to a. new level that you're not familiar with. It's like getting to an airport where. you already know the gate. And you. already know where you're going to have. lunch or you know all these things and. you go to the airport and you feel. at ease. But when you're landing to a. new. airport, you do not know. You're kind of.
like, "Oh, wait. Wait. Where is the. gate?" That's kind of what imposter. syndrome. >> analogy. I like that. >> feels like. It's just another place. So, at that time, I remember I was sitting. down at this after-party, and. I started talking to this guy who I did. not know who he was. So, I go like, "Oh, and what do you do?" And he's like, "I. sing." I'm like, "Oh, that's so cool.". And then my friend goes like, "Oh, you're talking to Post Malone." I'm. like, "Ooh, I did not [laughter] know. how he looks like." You know? And this was this really cool thing. This is when I met Daddy Yankee as well. And. I'm like, "Okay, where's where's the.
guy?" He's like, "That's the guy." I'm. like, "Oh, that's the guy." You know? So, it's just moments that you're. uncomfortable, and you have to be. yourself, and you have to be open up the. possibilities of what life can bring to. you. And at this point, I remember in my. career, I got to meet so amazing and. talented people, and a lot of times, you. just see they're humans. >> Mhm. >> When when you see. >> social media, and you see a number, it. is just a number. I'm a human. You're a human. Everyone in. this room, we're just normal people. We. all have problems.
The only thing that we have different is. that we dare to believe in ourselves so. much that people believed in us and gave. us a fall. I wouldn't be here sitting if. people weren't following me. Uh you. wouldn't be sitting giving me the. interview people didn't believe in you. So, it's just a matter of like, don't. believe in the imposter syndrome. Don't believe it is not real. It's just. believe in the thing that I just said, somewhere you've not been yet. Which I. love the word yet. You're not successful. yet. You are not there yet. It's just. yet. And I have been doing this. movement. I've been going around we we.
brought it to so many countries. It's. 122 countries we brought it to. And it's the I Still Build movement. And. I'm launching my book next year, so I'm. going to be definitely launching it with. you. But, it's the I Still Build movement is that. we're all builders. In either way or not, we are building. something. And I I love to do this every time I go. somewhere and to a different country. I. love to do this part where I put on the. screen and I'm like. when fear takes over me and it tells you. I'm not enough, what do you say? And. people go around and say, I still built.
When and I still doing all these things. and people go like, I still built. And. you just start believing I'm a builder. You're a builder. We're all builders. We're building different lives. Someone. is becoming a mother full-time, that's. beautiful. You're building a home. You're building an idea from scratch. that doesn't exist. You're a builder. You're building a life alongside someone. that you're going to spend the rest of. your life, you're a builder. You're. building an idea that might exist and. you want to tweak it a little bit, that's awesome. You're a builder. And in this stage of life, we just see.
that we're I like I said in the same. boat in different destinations. We all. have problems, we all have crisis in. life. And I understood the power of time. with this because my dad, I'm an only. child, my parents have been they are my. life. They are my greatest support. But. you know what? It's something that I. understood that they always believed in. me. I always saw them as builders. because they built their businesses from. scratch. I always knew what a real. entrepreneurship entrepreneur looks like. because when I was young, I would go to. the office on a Saturday because they.
were building, right? And my grandma always told me something. is you can do it. And I remember this. you can do it because there was like a. little thing on my bed and she would. hold my hand and she would let go and. she said, you can cross, you can do it. It's the same thing. The most beautiful. thing that you can do in life is believe. in yourself so much of what you're. building. It doesn't matter what it is, but it's. just believing in what you're building. And in this moments of you can do it. Sometimes I do what is called the power. pose. In the power pose, I heard this. article about this neurosurgeon who.
stood up that he was going to do operate. on this little girl's brain, she was 3. years old. And as a neurosurgeon, he. said that if he had had like a tiny. mistake, the girl would basically be. brain dead. So he said that it was like a 16-17 hour. surgery. He would go in front of a. mirror before it and he did the power. pose, right? And after I heard that, I. always do the power pose. So, what is a. power pose? You stand in front of a. mirror, you put your arms like Superman, and you lock yourself, you see yourself.
>> Yeah. >> And you see who you really are. You're. like, you know what? Let's do this. Bring it. They tell me I can't, watch me. You think I cannot do it? Watch me. And I love that. Because once you. understand the power that is inside you, nothing can break you. >> Yeah. >> And seeing yourself in the mirror is. something that I always ask, "How many. times do you talk to yourself?" Like, no, I talk to myself. I'm like, no, you. are thinking. You're having thoughts. And there was a Harvard study that said.
that 78% of thoughts are negative on a. daily basis. So, when I heard that, I'm like, "You're. not talking to yourself. You are. listening to your thoughts in mute." But. what if I told you that you stand in. front of a mirror and you say, "You know. what, Quora? I'm going to have a beautiful day. You're so powerful. You're so capable. You're breathing. You get one more. chance." And you put yourself in power. pose and you see yourself. You see the. power inside you. >> Yeah. >> No one that you admire has something.
different than you. They just believe in themselves so much. that once you stand in front of the. mirror and you do the talk to yourself. and you do this, ooh, life becomes so. beautiful. Ah, I love it. >> I can definitely say that before I go. out on stage, there's really a mirror. there because I'm backstage, but. whenever I go out before stage, if I'm. in power pose, it is so much more easier. to go out there and own the stage. >> Yes. >> than it is when you're like just sitting. there, thinking about stuff, whatever it. may be. And I love the distinction you.
made between the thoughts in the mind. That's not talking to yourself, that's. just hearing. >> Yeah. >> And the big one that I took away there, my favorite type of people are over. communicators. And when you were talking about couples. this is how I think about a. relationship. You're in one place, your partner's in. another place, and you're driving to the. same party tonight. And your partner leaves a bit earlier. than you, you leave a bit later, but you. call them up and say, "Hey, I'm running. a bit late. Can you wait for me. outside?" And your partner says, "Yeah,
yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure, I'll wait. for you outside. That's cool. What time. are you going to get there?" You're. like, "I think I'm going to get there 20. minutes after you get there." They go, "Great, fine. Come at 20 minutes after.". They're waiting there. You're on the. way. You get stuck in a bit of traffic. You go, "Hey, look, I'm still 10 minutes. behind. I'll be there in 30 minutes. Why. don't you go inside?" Your partner says, "I thought you wanted me to wait." You. go, "No, no, no, it's okay, it's okay. You just go inside. You know, I'm going. to be a bit later." You get there 30. minutes later, you walk in. The relationship wasn't getting there at. the same time. It wasn't that you were. moving at the same pace. It's that you. were in constant conversation and.
communication and connection about where. you were. And I think that's the. communication that's lost. >> And I love that you're posting on your. social media those things that I I did. one similar, but it was about. traffic and like one is having a baby, one just divorced, one is having all. situations in life. And I feel like that. social media, we just see a tiny window. We don't see the full picture. That's. when we we communicate each other and we. we talk to your partner, you talk to. your friends, you see you say like, "Oh, we're not so behind. Oh, it's not that.
perfect." I'm like, when it comes to my. social media, I want to [snorts] people to leave with. a message, not with what I have, not. with where I live, not not with anything. at all, because my life is not perfect. at all. I understood the power of time. and my my dad got cancer and he got. diagnosed and there was a moment in life. where he's he's wonderful, I thank God, but he got into an exam and he got. sepsis from it. And he was in intensive care for a long. time. And I understood the power of time. of the things that I wanted to do. I'm.
like, I want to do everything now. And. it's the moments when you understand all. these things, right? As an only child, I. feel like when they ask you, "How is it. to be an only child? Was it tough when. you were a kid?". No. So, when you are an adult and you. realize that everything is up to you. So, it's just a matter of like how you. can communicate. Everything's about. communication. Communicate about the. beautiful things you can tell a person. Why wait? If you are in love with. someone, say it, even if you're afraid. Have you heard that Grey's Anatomy line? It's beautiful. It's like Eric Sloan. that just passed away.
He has this beautiful line where he. says, "Say it. If you're in love with someone, say it, even if you're afraid, even if. it's not the the result that you want to. hear, say it.". And I feel like that's life. Go for it. Dare to say it in a meeting. I heard this amazing story about the guy. that invented Vitamin Water. And he went. to Coca-Cola and basically said, "I have. the next hit product." And he literally. sold the idea of having like water with. flavors. And he got paid off like 4.
billion, I think, if I'm not wrong. So, it's just a matter of like going, communicating, dare to do it. The worst. thing that can happen is a no, and. that's fine, you know? But it's just a. matter of believing. Communicate. yourself. Say that you love. Say what. you don't like as well, because in the. best communications, it's saying the. uncomfortable things. >> Yeah. >> People don't want to hear uncomfortable. things, but it's what makes you grow in. a company. And people have to come and say the. things that you've been doing wrong. Nobody wants to hear that. It's going to. make you grow, or it's going to make you. bankrupt if you don't hear that, all. right? So, it's just a matter of.
communication. Life is all about. communicating in every aspect of it. >> Mhm. >> Well said. Carl, I want to thank you, first of all, for. traveling 30 hours. >> My gosh. >> to be here. This is the dedication. I. wanted to point it out because you've. been talking about dedication, you've. been talking about discipline, you've. been talking about putting in the work, talked about overnight success. For you. to travel 30 hours to be here, to be on. the show, I think that is the longest. anyone has ever traveled to be on the. show. So, I want to honor you for that. I want to thank you for that. Uh.
be so grateful for that. And we end. every episode of On Purpose with a final. five. These questions have to be. answered in one word to one sentence. maximum. >> Okay. >> So, Carl Centore, these are your final. five, brought to you by State Farm. Question number one, what is the best. advice you've ever heard or received? >> So, I think there's just a quote I. really like and it's. a winner is just a loser who tried one. more time. So, I don't stop at failure. >> I love that. Great advice. Question. number two, what is the worst advice. you've ever heard or received?
>> Follow your purpose. >> [laughter]. >> Because well, at the end of the day, a. lot of people just say like go follow. your purpose, but purpose comes with a. lot of dedication. So, I feel like. that's incomplete advice. So, I would. just say follow your purpose, but know. that it's not going to be easy. And that's the thing. Just purpose. sometimes is not enough. >> Absolutely. Question number three, when. do you know that a relationship is over? >> I think a a relationship is over when. the admiration dies. You have to admire. your partner for the good and the worse, you know? I was just talking to my.
friend who's in the studio with me, but. it's a matter of like when you get. married and they ask you in in good or. in bad and sick doesn't help. That's the. priest saying like the cute version, but. what if I told you and I heard this the. other day, it's like what if they. amputate three of your of your members? Would you still love her? It's like ooh, it makes you think. What if we bankrupt. and we have to start over? I just heard. Ian Somerhalder talking about Nikki Reed. and that they were eight figures in debt. and how they pulled through that. That's. not easy. Financial debt is not easy, but it's just a matter of admiration. If.
you admire your partner and that dies, I. think it's over. >> Question number four, how do you define a good friend? >> I feel like a good friend is always. happy for your success. I have a group. chat with two of my friends and before I. got here, one is in Shanghai, one is in. Buenos Aires and they all woke up at the. same time to see me get ready in my. makeup and for me, they were happy for. my success. So, if your friend is happy. for you, you have a good friend because they're. not jealous of you and they're not. afraid of your success. >> Fifth and final question we ask this to.
every guest who's ever been on this. show. If you could create one law that. everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? >> Respect. If you respect each other, that's it. You don't need anything else. Respect means you have heard one. another's opinion. Respect means that. you respect their time. I respect so. much people's time because it means that. you value their time as well as yours. Respect means that you can respect your. partner because you respect that maybe. they don't have a good day and that. doesn't mean that you know you've lost.
it all. Respect means that in your team. you respect them with who they are, with. their ideas, with their values. So if. there could be one thing that I think. the world would be better off with is. respect each other. >> Karla Santana, thank you so much. Everyone who's been listening and. watching wherever you are, whether. you're at work, at home, please tag me. and Karla on TikTok and Instagram with. your best moments. The parts that you're. going to try and apply, the parts that. you're going to try and live by, the. parts that you're sharing with a friend. Karla, thank you so much for coming on.
[clears throat] the show. >> been a pleasure. >> I'm so so thankful, truly grateful and. it's wonderful to finally meet you. I'm. wishing you all the best for your. >> God bless. See you. >> may come your way and. >> Thank you. >> continue to help so many people around. the world. Thank you so much. >> It's been a pleasure and for everyone. who's listening just God bless you. Keep. believing in yourself. You are enough. and I'll see you next time. >> Thank you so much. Thank you everyone. for watching. We'll see you soon. If you. loved this episode, you'll love my. conversation with Airbnb founder Brian. Chesky on how to tap into your creative.
potential and the number one thing. people get wrong about success. >> The best people in your life will be. people who see potential in you that you. didn't see in yourself. And I often wonder.
