#1 Brain Neuroscientist: "This Will DELETE Your Old Self!" - How To Manifest Anything You Want
If someone was to listen to our. conversation today and apply the things.
you have to say, how would their life. change? >> I'd like to say that it can and will. change in every single aspect that you. apply it to. I think that and you know, actually one. of my students in Minecraft, she joined. a few months ago and she I asked her I. said, what do you in which ways do you. think that your life has changed since. joining? And she said every single. aspect of her life has changed and I. think that the principles that I teach. and I coach on and that I practice, I. think they really can be applied to.
every single area of your life. So, yeah, I think it just depends on you. and what you choose and what you intend, right? So, it's all about intention. there and it's like if you want to apply. it to relationships, you can. Um, but. also. just being more in control of your. brain. I like to make the analogy of. if you are driving a car down the road. and you don't know how that car works. If it breaks down, you don't know how to. fix it, you'll be stuck there, right? And I'm I have a story of like my car. breaking down and my brother luckily is.
a mechanical engineer. Um, and he I. called him, he's like, oh, pour water in. this one little hole, whatever. And I. could be on my merry way, right? I got. home safely. But if you if you don't. know how and the brain works the same. way, right? So, let's say you're. stressed out or you are overwhelmed or. you're struggling to focus or whatever. it is, if you don't know how your brain. works, you might be stuck. But when you. know how your brain works, you can then. use that knowledge and apply it to. whatever area you're really struggling. with. So, that I think that it really. can be applied to many different areas.
of your life, yeah. >> Yeah, I love that analogy. I've I've had. many a time in my life a car that's. broken down on me, not been a mechanical. engineer, and pushed my car up a hill. And that's what it sometimes feels like. for people. I feel like people feel that. they're fighting against their brain. They're breaking down their mind. They're trying to push forward, and they. just feel stuck. I feel like so many. people listening right now feel stuck in. their job. They feel stuck in a bad. relationship. They feel stuck looking.
for a career. If someone feels stuck, what do they need to understand about. the brain in order to start the process. to get unstuck? >> Yeah. So, I think that feeling of being. stuck, it's really quite natural when. you think about neuroscience and your. biology. The brain loves to keep you in. what is safe and normal to you. Um, the. brain is also, I like to call it a. prediction machine. So, we don't. necessarily experience reality. We.
experience, you know, our brain sort of. filtering everything we see, hear, feel, touch, but also predicting what's about. to happen. And that's why a lot of. times, you know, we feel like anxious or. whatever it is, it has to do with the. brain's predicting kind of something. that's upcoming. And so, I think that feeling of being stuck is. quite normal and natural, and I just. want to say that first, but also. understanding which area you're stuck. in, right? And. I I'm going to take it in an interesting. direction right now, but I like to talk. about procrastination because it's a.
good example of feeling stuck, right? So, if you are you let's say you have a. goal, and you're like like starting a. podcast, and you're like, okay, I want. to do it, and then you're. procrastinating it, right? So, I always. say that there are three reasons why. people procrastinate. And the first. reason is there's an identity sort of. mismatch. And what I mean by that is. that you don't you like who your sense. of self and who you believe that you are. doesn't match with you working toward. the goal of launching a podcast.
Um and this actually kind of resonated. with me personally whenever I was. starting to write a book, I was. procrastinating writing my book and I. was like, "Why am I doing this? I know. it's a goal. I know I want to do it, but. I don't know why I'm procrastinating.". Um and the default mode network in the. brain is really what's at play here. So, the default mode network is really. appropriately named because it kind of. helps to regulate and propel our default. mode of behavior, right? So, it's. responsible for our default mode of. being and doing. Um but it's also. responsible for our sense of self and.
constructing the narrative or the story. of our lives. And so, if your sense of. self doesn't match, if your identity. doesn't match whatever it is that you're. trying to do, then your default mode. network is not really going to be. helping you do the behaviors or take the. action toward do it sorry, a podcast. And so, I always tell my clients, I tell. my students, I tell everyone on social. media, I'm like, "Just identity shift, you know? Like switch shift your. identity. You can just start to identify.
as a version of you who has done the. thing." And so, that's kind of the first. part of that. And then, the second. >> Let's go back to that first one. That's. so interesting. That's so interesting. and I love the way you broke down the. default mode network because. this identity mismatch that you're. talking about, are you saying that if. you don't I know you've said something. which I love. You said science says you. have to act like you already have it. >> Yeah. >> before something can happen. >> Mhm. >> Is that what you're saying? That you've. got to feel like. I'm already a author. I'm already a.
podcaster. How does someone practically. apply that identity to make sure it's. aligned? >> Right. So, it's really just choosing to. identify as that person, right? And so, when I say that you have to act like you. already have it or you like you already. are it in order to do it or be it. It. works the same way. The analogy I use. there is falling asleep at night. Like. when you fall asleep at night, you lay. down, you close your eyes, you slow your. breath, and you pretend like you're. asleep until you fall asleep, and your. brain makes it so. Um and life works that way as well. And. you have to you have to act like it and.
move like it, right? Like you're not. going to become a drummer in a band. unless you act like a drummer, and. drummers practice. And so it's sort of. like. And and so how do I apply that like. practically? I guess from my book. example, I really just decided I'm an. author. Like from this moment forward, I'm an author. And I think a lot of. times we don't realize the power that we. have to choose those sorts of things. And this is another reason why I tell. people to be so careful about the labels. that they use to identify themselves and. the labels that they put on themselves.
And growing up in my own life, I had so. many different labels put on to me um. that I believed and just kind of allowed. to describe who I was, and that impacted. my life, it impacted my health, it. impacted everything in my world. And so. that's one of the reasons why I'm so. passionate about it. But yeah, and so. applying that practically, a lot of. times it really just looks like choosing. to identify as that version of you. Um. like if I'm trying to start a podcast, I. am a podcaster. And there I am doing it,
right? >> like how does an author behave, and let. me start practicing that now. So an. author gets up and writes a page even. when they don't feel inspired because. that's how they get, for example. >> Right. >> Or like a podcaster sits down and you. just start interviewing the people that. are available until you're able to book. the guest that you really want to speak. to. >> Right, exactly exactly. And when that. happens, when you choose when you write. a new what happens then is that you're. writing a new story. And your brain kind. of stops using your past to predict your. future, and it kind of starts to take.
the present moment and your new identity. that you are choosing to help predict. your future behavior. Um and so it's. super powerful. >> I love that. All right, what's the. second? That was good. >> Okay. So, the second reason why most. people procrastinate is fear. Um, a lot of times we are actually. subconsciously afraid of success. And I. think this is a big reason why a lot of. people stay stuck is that we are. actually subconsciously afraid of what. it might look like if we succeed at. doing it. >> Interesting.
>> And for me personally, so I'm actually. about to launch a podcast. Um, by the time this episode comes out, it may or may not be already launched, but. um, when I again, I was procrastinating. filming my podcast and me being me, I. sit down and I analyze my mind. Like, why am I procrastinating starting to. film this podcast? And what I found was. that I was subconsciously afraid of. being seen in sort of a more vulnerable. way. Because long-form content is a lot. more vulnerable than a 1-minute reel on. Instagram. Like, you're not really you.
in that short of a period of time. Um, but in long-form content, people can. really see you. And so, that was sort of. the fear that I uncovered for myself. Um, but yeah, and I think this is an. another reason why I tell people all the. time like a lot a lot of people say, "Get specific about your goals." But I. also say, "Get specific about your. fears." Because your fears, they can. have control over you when you don't. know what they are. But when you. identify them, labeling them, well, that. activates the prefrontal cortex. And the. prefrontal cortex and the amygdala, they.
sort of have this kind of seesaw. relationship where when one activity. activity in one goes up, activity in the. other goes down. And so, when you label. your emotions, you label the fears that. you have, you're actually giving. yourself your power back. You're. activating the prefrontal cortex, which. is the CEO of your brain. It's sort of. the boss of your brain. Um, and so, kind of getting specific about your. fears, I would say, is the way to. overcome that version of stuckness. And. I think that's a really powerful, um, activity to do if somebody were feeling.
stuck. >> How did you. get so specific and define your own. fear? I love that you shared what you. were worried about and this whole idea. that people are scared of success. Yeah. How did you. come upon that? Like what process did it. take? What reflection did you do? How. did you identify them? I love what you. said about identifying your goals is. important, but actually knowing your. fears is equally as important if not. more. How do you do that? >> Yeah, so I think for me, I have this. thing called take it all the way to the.
end. And so, allow yourself to go on the. journey or the path all the way to the. end. And so, I sat down and I was like, okay, if I go and I film this podcast, my goal is to have a top podcast in the. world, right? So, if I'm having a top. podcast in the world, what might that. look like? Oh, that means that I'm. setting myself up to be seen more and. maybe have more hate and maybe have more. criticism and judgment and all that and. just seeing myself write that down, I. was like, okay, well, if my brain is.
highlighting that as, oh, if you go and. start a podcast, you're going to have. more hate and face more criticism, then. it might try to keep me safe from that. And that's really what that is is your. brain is just trying to keep you safe. And so, that's why identifying your. fears can be so powerful. And so, yeah, I would say, if you're trying to. identify what your fears are, I would just take the goal, whatever it. is that you're trying to do, all the way. to the end. Like, if it's the top. podcast or if it's the best-selling book. or if it's your business or even a.
relationship, right? Like, a lot of. people in relationships, like, you're. afraid of. relying on someone or being dependent on. someone or really fully being open and. vulnerable with someone. And honestly, just identifying that is the first step. in getting super clear on that because. when you get clear on that, then you can. rewrite the story of, exactly like you. said, yes, it's true, being more. vulnerable and being seen might equal. more judgment or criticism, but it might. also equal, and to the same extent, if. not more, more love and more support. So, um and you have to identify it first.
to give yourself um the chance to even. rewrite that fear. >> Yeah, I love the idea of take it all the. way to the end. That's a great one. It's. a It's a great way of. actually getting really clear on. exactly what's tripping you up. And I. love what you just said there that. actually when you come up with it, you. realize your brain was just trying to. keep you safe. Yeah. It was actually. just trying to help you because it was. scared of that. It wasn't that you. weren't good enough or it wasn't that. you weren't smart enough or it wasn't. that you can't develop the skills. It.
was just trying to keep you safe. >> Yeah. And I think when when we think. about the brain trying to keep us safe, that and that's a really big reason why. the brain tries to keep us kind of in. our comfort zone, right? But it's super. important to recognize and acknowledge. that any sort of growth happens outside. of our comfort zones. Like I would not. be in the position where I am today if I. didn't take delusional level risks and. leaps of faith. Um. and so it's really a requirement to. achieving or receiving or having. whatever it is that we want. And so.
yeah, getting really clear on our fears. and taking all the way I Take it all the. way to the end applies to that. It also. applies to limiting beliefs as well. Like take it all the way to the end. Uh. see what comes up for you. Um and also. yeah, I think I cuz I've had students I. had a specific student ask me she was. struggling with um sand volleyball, beach volleyball. And she was like I I. had this fear and I was like take it all. the way to the end. Visualize it maybe. You know, I don't think I've ever heard. anyone tell people like visualize your. fears, but if it's safe for you and. you're not going to like.
>> Yeah. >> Um like have any sort of physical. reaction, like visualize it and see what. comes up for you and see like what is it. really that you're afraid of and then. you can give yourself the chance to kind. of rewrite that story. >> Yeah. What's number three? >> Okay, so we've got there's an identity. mismatch. or there is maybe some underlying fear. behind it. And then number three is. really more of a scientific kind of. simple straightforward thing and it's. cheap dopamine. Uh it's everywhere and society sort of. uh there it's everywhere. Cheap.
dopamine, social media, it's all over. the place and like fast food, binging. Netflix, whatever it is. Um that's that's number three is cheap. dopamine and it's it's really it's a. dream Dopamine I always say like. dopamine doesn't care about your dreams. Uh just cares about what you automate. and what you repeat. Um and so it's. going to keep you doing that. And also. when it comes to cheap dopamine, if. you're giving yourself a lot of that, then you're not really And one of the. big things that I do to help kind of. motivate myself to doing things is.
withholding reward. And so whenever I. was in the PhD, I studied drug. addiction. And so a lot of dopamine. research um and studying kind of the. dopamine pathways, but also drug. addiction is really just maladaptive. habit formation. And so. when I when I think about kind of cheap. dopamine and and habit formation and and. behavior um because dopamine drives a. lot of behavior, one of the things that. I do to kind of motivate myself is just. withhold whatever reward that I'm. wanting. So let's say I I. saw it online or I was shopping whatever.
and I saw shirt that I wanted. Um I I wouldn't allow myself to buy it. or a candle or whatever it is. I. wouldn't allow myself to buy it until. after I do the task that that I'm maybe. procrastinating or feeling stuck doing. And so if someone's out there right now. and you're procrastinating or feeling. stuck um starting a business or going. after a job or dating in a relationship. or whatever it is and you're regularly. giving yourself sort of cheap dopamine. or you know, allowing yourself to just. like have whatever reward it is and you. just give it to yourself all the time, um then you're not really setting.
yourself up for success because you're. giving yourself your your brain is just. it's well fed on dopamine. And you can. think of it sort of as the analogy of. like snacking all day, right? So if. you're snacking all day, you're never. really going to be hungry and to eat. that whole meal. And so dopamine's kind. of the same way. If you're like giving. yourself those cheap dopamine heads. going on social media all day long, then. you're never really going to be driven. to go complete that big task. Um and. that big task is going to be a lot more. rewarding than the small repetitive. cheap dopamine, especially at night. So,
I want to I want to highlight that. because this is something newer that. I've been talking about and honestly, I. discover all this like obviously, I. learned about neuroscience in school. Um. but I I discover a lot of the kind of. hacks and stuff based on what I need and. in my own life. And so, I I realized, you know, I was waking up with less. motivation, waking up low on energy, and. just not really feeling like normally. And I have I have most of the time I. really do wake up and I jump out of bed.
and I'm like ready and so excited for. the day. So, I'm like, "What's what's. happening here?". Um and what I actually realized was that. so, dopamine actually resets itself and. restores as you sleep. And so, scrolling. at nighttime or binge-watching Netflix. or any of those things that give you. cheap dopamine and even eating. late-night snacks and all that, um that. actually. uh well, one, it disrupts your sleep and. that keeps your dopamine system from. restoring itself, but also it it. desensitizes your dopamine receptors.
So, when you wake up in the morning, you're for lack of better keep it. simple, you're less sensitive to. dopamine when you wake up in the morning. when you give yourself cheap dopamine at. night. Um and so, cheap dopamine is number three. It's a. big reason why people stay stuck. Yeah, because if you're giving yourself snacks. all day, you're never going to be driven. to cook a meal. If you're giving. yourself cheap dopamine all day long, you're never going to be driven to go do. the big task that's going to help you. get closer to your dreams. >> I love that. How do we convince. ourselves that the big task is going to. be more fulfilling than the cheap quick.
dopamine? Or what do we do with that? Because I. think you're spot-on that there are a. million distractions today. It's easy to. be caught down a wormhole. It's easy to. binge a show. And you don't realize that actually. building the thing you love or starting. that business or investing in that. relationship, whatever it is, will be so. much more meaningful. What do we do with. that? How do we get there? >> Yeah, so I think two things. The first. is. get super specific about why you want.
that thing, right? So, if you don't. really know why you want and let's I. guess the big goal for this would be. writing a book because that takes so. long. And it does not come easily or come. quickly. >> gets easier. I'm on my third I'm writing. my third book right now. It does not get. easier. It does not. I'll just tell everyone. it's not getting easier. >> And and it's it's you're in a it's a. marathon. It's not a sprint. They used. to say that to me all the time in the. PhD. It's even though they wanted you to. sprint the marathon. Um and so I I think for that it's really. understanding and being super clear. about why you want to do it because.
motivation is not always going to be. there for you. Um and that's where. knowing your why and I kind of have a. different take on discipline where I. don't really think of like this hardcore. sort of discipline sort of moment. I. think of discipline as looking out for. future you. And I think this is why it's. super important for me whenever I am. working with people, I I ask them, you. know, like who do you want to be? Like. who like when you imagine yourself like. achieving the goals or whatever it is, like it's not really about that. It's.
about who achieving those goals is going. to make you become. Um and that's really what it's all. about. Like who are you feeling called. to become? And getting super clear on. who that is and why you want to be that. person. And so understanding your why. and why you want to do it, why do you. want to write the book? Um and that will. keep you going and motivate you. Um but. also who that's going to make you. become. Like I want to be an author. Like I want to have a book published and. sometimes that's going to motivate me a. lot more than just thinking about. publishing a book. You know what I mean? I think that is sort of super important.
is is really knowing your why. Um and then I think the other thing when. you're clear on that, when you're clear. on who you want to become and your why. and your purpose for doing it, that's. really the first half of it. And then. the other half of it, I don't do the. whole internal battle thing. Like don't. I don't negotiate with myself. That's. something that I don't do. And so I. think trying to convince yourself that. it's going to be. rewarding and going to be better than. scrolling on my phone, I don't think. that we can really even do that. I don't.
think that that's something that I. wouldn't recommend. I think in that. scenario it would more be and actually. like recently I was struggling with. getting filming content. And I called my. friend who's still in the PhD, she's. like my best and I called her and she's. like, "M, you're the one that would. always tell me you need to you need to. withhold reward. Like what do you want? Like you do you want like a new outfit? Like what is it that you want?" And then. get that get clear on like what it is. that you want and then don't give it to. yourself until after the big thing has. been accomplished, after you've done the. thing that you want to do. And that's.
how you start to train your brain that. it's more rewarding. A dog doesn't learn. to sit for free. I say that all the. time. If you want to teach a dog how to. sit, you have to give your dog a treat. And then that treat boost dopamine, that. dopamine drives learning, and then when. you learn it and it becomes a habit that. you repeat, then it's just wired in and. you're doing it. And you don't have to. think so much about it and it's not. about convincing yourself, it's just. wired in and it's automatic behavior. And then another thing that I talk about. a lot in my community and with and in. the people that I coach is that take a. moment after you do accomplish those.
things or you do and it doesn't have to. be some big goal that you're. accomplishing either. It can maybe be. even something small. Like I said, creating content. Like that's a stepping. stone on the way. And it can be just as simple as taking a. moment to tell yourself, "Hey, I'm proud. of you. Good job. You you accomplished. that." Self-talk boost dopamine. Like. self-affirmation boost dopamine. It. activates the reward centers in the. brain. I used to be. I didn't used to believe in. affirmations. I used to think they were. woo-woo or whatever and I was like, "No,
what is that?". But then, you know, I sort of went on my. own journey and then of course looked. into the neuroscience of it and it they. it they really are so powerful and and. not even necessarily an affirmation. track or whatever it is, but speaking to. yourself positively and kindly, it's so. so so important and making sure to take. a moment to do that and acknowledge. yourself when you are working toward the. goals because it's so easy to you know, just be like, okay, like I posted a. video okay, right. We're not necessarily. at 10 million yet. So.
that's not we're not there yet. It's really easy to do that and get. caught up big picture and not give. yourself the pat on the back for the. steps that you're taking along the way. and those are the little dopamine boost. that are going to. build momentum that are that are going. to keep you going and that are also. going to teach your brain that oh hey, this behavior, this action that we're. taking is valuable and meaningful. >> I believe that travel is one of the. greatest gifts that we've ever been. given and Chase Sapphire Reserve has. been my gateway to the world's most.
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chase.com/sapphirereserve. What purchases do you. >> think young people should delay. >> It doesn't have to be a purchase. It. doesn't have to be a purchase. I'm using. this is personally for me. I like. clothes. And so like for me and then. maybe it's even. going and and planning it can it can be. anything like planning a reward for. yourself like going out to dinner. Let's. say if you're a foodie. It really. depends. So I'm not going to sit here. and tell people what's going to boost. their dopamine because it's very highly. and like, but maybe you love going to. the grocery store and buying these one.
box of cookies that you really like or. whatever it is. Maybe there's something. and also it's good to switch it up. Like. if it's something that you haven't done. for yourself in a while or like you. there's a dessert that you love that you. only have on your birthday. It's like, "Okay, if I take the steps, if I sign up. for this LLC and I get the logo done and. I set up the website, I'm going to go. get that thing that I get for my. birthday and I'm going to give it to. myself now." Um so it's just kind of. really anything that makes you and I. think also this is what I always talk.
about with um with people is to also. have something to look forward to. I. think it's super important. Whether it's. just like a dinner I cuz I found in and. this is something I really learned. through experience in college and. undergrad but then of course now knowing. the neuroscience of it, I would be so. much more productive and study so much. better when I had plans on Friday night. Uh and like if you don't have any plans. or anything to look forward to or like a. a reason to get stuff done quickly, then. it's going to be a lot harder and also. like dopamine is released in.
anticipation of a good thing happening. It's not just about reward. Um it's also. when you are anticipating something like. from my like kind of research studies. that was more tied to craving, right? But um in in kind of our day-to-day. lives, it's anticipation. Like that's. why when you're when you're a little kid. and it's the night before Christmas like. you can't you couldn't you can't fall. asleep at night cuz you're excited. You're anticipating something. And. actually the day that uh we were. supposed to close on our house, which. was like 2 weeks ago, I woke up that. morning feeling like a kid on Christmas. Um and I was like I was looking into the.
neuroscience of it actually cuz I was. like, "How do I activate this feeling. more every single day?" Because it's a. great feeling. And I was so productive. Um but that was really a day of. detachment because we weren't sure. whether or not we were going to close. that day. Um and it was actually as soon. as we decided, "Oh no, it's not going to. happen today. We'll just drive home.". Like we got the call and I was like, "Oh, you're going to get the keys." And. I was like, "It's always when you let. go." So yeah, I think it depends on a. person when it comes to what you should. delay or what you should purchase. It. doesn't even have to be a purchase. It. can be any sort of rewarding thing. Like.
actually, something that I've been doing. cuz I have a mountain bike. Not like an. avid mountain biker, but I love nature. and I also have a ripstick. I love to. ripstick just like around my house or. whatever it is. Um and so I told myself. the other day actually, I was like, I'm. going to film this content and then. afterward I'm going to ripstick. And. giving myself that sort of little reward. of like honestly, it's like playtime. Um. like I giving myself that it motivated. me to go get it done that way cuz I had. something to look forward to and a. little reward afterward. >> Absolutely, well said. It definitely. works. It definitely works. I can think. of so many moments in my life where.
that's exactly how I'm focusing on how. to get the work done first and then be. able to play break afterwards. And and. the biggest one for me from what you. said that I think really is going to. make a difference for people is being. kind to yourself in the process. >> Yeah. >> That that grace that comes with that and. the ability to celebrate the small wins. and the progress. Because if you're. always measuring yourself up against a. big goal, you could be waiting a long. long time. >> Yeah. >> Especially when you're writing a book. I. mean, that you just told me the cycle of.
when your book's going to come out. And. that's what it is. It takes like two, three years to put it together. Then it. takes time for it to come out. Then. you're promoting it. So the actual. result of someone saying I love your. book and I got so much from it is so far. away. But if that's what you're waiting. for, it's going to feel like forever. >> Yeah. I actually had to switch this is. funny that you say that because when I. first started, I was very motivated by. having a best-selling book and writing. this book and quickly did I learn that's.
not going to last and we're not going to. be able to push through on this. So I. actually shifted from being motivated by. kind of the result to hey, actually I. just want to be an author and being an. author is a reward in itself. >> Mhm. >> And when I acknowledged that, then it. became more rewarding to write the book. and do the work. And so it was that. shift and I think that's also why it's. so important to figure out who you want. to be and that identity. um and who it's going to make you. Because when you can start to kind of. identify as that, it's also very.
rewarding to embody it as well. >> Yeah, you've said that desperately. wanting something actually blocks you. from getting it. >> Mhm. >> Which applies to what you just said. about your house. You're like, just that. moment you let go, you're like you got. the call that you got your house. Why. does desperately wanting something. actually block it? >> When you are very attached to an outcome. and you desperately want something and. it's to the point where it is kind of. raising your stress levels and you are. dependent on it or attached to the. outcome. It boosts stress and it boosts. cortisol and that actually narrows your.
perception and kind of which gives you a. sort of tunnel vision and actually. blocks you from being able to perceive. or be aware of alternate pathways um and. alternate routes, which is a one reason. why it can block you from getting it. because a lot of times, you know, we. have a goal and we have a something that. we want to accomplish. And I know for me. personally, I had a goal and I had to be. very open to alternate pathways in my. life. Um I had to be very open to like, "Okay, and and you know, we'll we'll go. we'll go down the road and maybe this.
road isn't it and we'll take the a. different road." But being able to be. open um to alternate pathways, that. actually you're less able to do that and. you're less open-minded and you have. more of tunnel vision whenever you are. kind of desperately attached to. something. And also, whenever we are. chronically stressed, I mean, that puts. us in fight or flight and when the. nervous system's dysregulated, I mean, it becomes way harder to rewire your. brain. Um and I like to use the analogy. of a kid in a classroom. Like if you're. a kid in a classroom and you are being. bullied by every single student, it's.
going to be really hard to pay attention. to the teacher and actually learn what's. being said. But if you feel safe in that. classroom, the kid can actually feel. safe to learn and pay attention to the. teacher and absorb what's being said and. it works the same way in our lives. Like. if we're feeling stressed and anxious. all the time, it's really going to be. difficult to be focused on whatever goal. that we have. Um and so that's another. kind of piece of it. And then there's. another piece of it, which is sort of. this incubation effect in the brain. And. I'm sure you've noticed that if you're. sitting there and you're thinking about. a problem or a challenge or you're.
wanting an answer to something and. you're you can't necessarily think of. the way. of. the answer. Um but then as soon as you walk away. from it, then you go for a walk or. you're in the shower or whatever it is, all of a sudden the answer comes. And. whatever you wanted to say comes. That's. the incubation effect. And our. subconscious mind or like the other kind. of areas in the brain can process a lot. more information and make a lot more. connections than our conscious mind can. when we're sort of focusing on. something. And so whenever we're desperately. wanting something or attached to it and.
we're thinking about it all the time and. we're kind of stopping that from. happening. We're stopping the incubation. effect to do its magic of sort of going. to work behind the scenes and coming up. with the answers. And so that's another. reason why letting go can be so helpful. and just And that doesn't mean that. you're not going to work towards your. goals. That doesn't mean that you're not. going to be focused on your goals, but. it means that, you know, you you work. toward it and you worry about what you. worry about the inputs. And you worry. about what you can do, but you sort of. let go of the the how and the when and. you just and you it also allows you to.
enjoy the journey, which is which is. really important. Um and I think that's. if not one of the the most important. things when it comes to all of it is. enjoying the journey. And I always say, you know, life is about the journey. If. it were about the destination, it would. be called death. Um it's about the. journey. And so enjoying the journey is. super important. And when you're. desperately attached to something, especially, you know, when it's a. long-term sort of situation, you're. going to be you're you're withholding. reward and you're withholding feeling. proud of yourself and feeling. accomplished for a long time. And I.
don't think that anybody should really. live that way, either. >> Yeah, it can be you can torment. yourself. >> Yeah, exactly. >> yourself if you do it. And it can lead. to greatness, but at what cost? >> can. But I I I knowing myself and I think. that that's a very important piece of. this and knowing myself is that one of. my top values is joy. And and being able to enjoy my life and. enjoy the journey of my life. And so for. me, yeah, I think remembering to enjoy. the journey. But also I found that I do.
so much better in my work and creative. process when I am in my joy. And so I. think that joy isn't necessarily like a. a break or a like an additional reward, but it also is sort of a necessity if we. want our brain to be in its most. optimized state because tons of studies. show that play and being in your joy it. actually boosts creativity and also. boosts longevity and our immune system. function and all the things. So it's.
really good for our physical health as. well as our mental health. >> Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you've reminded. me of two things. One thing I always say to people is. you'll get to where you want in life, just not in the way you imagine it. The. idea that you're going in the direction, but the the path it's going to take is. going to be totally different. >> Yeah. >> And so what you want may even change if. you're moving at the pace you want to. go. And one of the things I love that. you said your value is joy. One of my. values, deep values, is love. >> Mhm. >> And I always say to myself I always want.
to move at the pace of love. I want to. move as fast as I can while still loving. it. >> Yeah. >> Because if I start hating it, then it's. not worth it even if I move three times. the speed that I'm at right now. >> Yeah. >> Because I want to move at the pace of. love. I want to move at a pace that I'm. in love with myself, I'm in love with. what I'm doing, and I'm love in love. with what I'm serving. Rather than I'm. moving really really fast, we're getting. there, but I actually hate it and I'm. upset at myself. >> Yeah, I think it's super important to. know it and in my in fact in the very. beginning I have people get to know. themselves and and their key values.
because in my business actually like. working in business, I've had kind of I don't want to use the. word standoffs, but situations where. I've had to bring up and so mine what I. have mine broken down into three parts. and one of the parts is to be to have. love and joy. And for me it's the exact same way. It's. like yes, we could do all of this and we. could move at this speed and we could. but at at the cost of my love at at the. cost of feeling love and joy, it's not. worth it to me. And so I completely. resonate with that.
>> Yeah, what what is the number one thing. people are coming to you in Mind Craft. and your community for coaching? What's. the number one thing you're seeing. amongst young people? >> Mind Craft is a pretty wide range. I. would say it's from like 20s up to 60s. So we've got a pretty wide range of. people and so the I would say the. reasons why people come into Mind Craft. are pretty variable. But I think I like that you asked the. question about people feeling stuck. because I think that that's a big reason. why people do come to Mind Craft and and. understanding kind of the neuroscience.
of of reality and how life works and how. how the brain builds reality is sort of. an eye-opener. It was an eye-opener for. me. It's an eye-opener for a lot of. people, but then also seeing how your. brain is really like directing you and. then directing how you feel and your. actions and all of that. And so I think. a big reason is that people do feel. stuck and they want they and also I mean. just I got to meet with some people in. Mind Craft in person recently and one. person said that he joined because he. wanted to find purpose in his life.
and and connect more deeply with his. spiritual his spirituality. And he found. that not only did he find his purpose, but he actually just launched a. nonprofit, which is super cool. Yeah, a. lot of people surprisingly and I guess. surprisingly or not, I don't really know. what I was expecting when I started Mind. Craft. I just sort of started it. because I wanted to give people. everything that helped me get to where I. am in in a in one place. But I I've found that a lot of people. end up quitting their 9-to-5 jobs and.
starting their own thing. And not that. and you know, of course there are people. who love their 9-5 jobs and they're in. them. But surprisingly a lot of people. do. embark on that journey. And I so I think. it a lot of people join because they. want to really find what lights them up. and and that what calls to them and I. think that when you when you figure out. who you are on a super deep level. and you then figure out how your brain. works and you understand all the little. kind of nuances of if focus and stress.
and anxiety and nervous system. regulation and of course like identity. and your sense of self and how all that. works, then you kind of have this sort. of freedom to go and create the life. that you really want. >> What's your take on manifestation? >> I 100,000% believe in manifestation. >> What version? Walk me through your. version. >> yeah, yeah. So I think a lot of people. don't believe in manifestation because. they think that it's this thing where. you just sit down and think until it. pops up into your reality. And I don't.
really I don't really see it that way. So I guess my take on manifestation. is really sort of just understanding the. neuroscience of reality and how the. brain works. There's actually a really. cool study. So I'll tell you about the. study. >> Please. >> This study actually is really greatly. explains how manifestation works, at. least in my eyes. So there's a study. done in the 1970s where they took. kittens and they raised one group of. kittens they they raised them all in. complete darkness. They took one group of kittens and they.
showed them only horizontal lines, horizontal black and white lines. So. they're they're raised mostly in. complete darkness except for a few hours. a day where they're shown only. horizontal black and white lines. And. then a different group was shown only. vertical black and white lines. They. allowed their brains to develop through, you know, their. adolescence. And then when they were. their brains were more developed, their. visual systems were developed, they put. them in a normal environment with chairs. and tables and all the things. And what. they found was that the kittens that. were raised to only see horizontal.
lines, they couldn't see vertical. objects. They would bump into table legs. and chair legs because their brains. weren't programmed or wired to see them. The brain develops in in a way that. helps us survive in our environment that. we grew up in. And so the the kittens. that could only see the vertical lines. as they were raised, they could see they would weave in and. out of table legs and and chair legs and. all that, but they wouldn't jump up up. onto tabletops or you know, chairs to. perch the way that the kittens that were.
raised to see horizontal lines would. And so I think that you know, that study. kind of really showed me that if if the. way that kittens were raised kind of. determine what they could then see or. perceive in their reality, like what am. I missing in my life because of the way. that my brain is is wired and the way. that I was programmed by my environment. And I think that's where sort of certain. activities like shadow work kind of come. in, but recognizing that you really can. only see in your reality what your brain.
is wired for. And so that job, that. relationship, that thing that you're. trying to manifest or create into your. life, you it might be right in front of. you, but you're missing it because your. brain is not programmed to see it or. construct it, right? And it's super cool. because there was someone who came to my. master class. I host free master classes. and. he said he had been searching for a job. for two years and two weeks after the. master class he got his dream job. And. to me it's just it's a really cool.
example, but also a like when you wire. your brain to become a match. And so. that's what it really it's all about. It's sort of that like neuroscience. meets law of attraction sort of. situation where when you wire your brain. to become a match so that it can. actually construct the experience that. you're wanting to experience, that's. when you can see it. And that's why I. say like you need to act like it or you. need to be it before you can see it, it's because the brain has to be a match. for it in order to even construct. whatever it is. Like, you can be in the. best relationship ever, but make it.
toxic or, you know, it won't you won't. be perceiving it as that if your brain. isn't wired to be in a healthy. relationship. And so, I think it really. is about rewiring your brain so that you. can perceive the things that you want. And so, for me, that's what. manifestation is all about. For me, manifestation it is, I guess, an entire. It is a mental game. It is about. rewiring your brain so that you can. become a match to whatever it is that. you want. But then, of course, that. requires action. You don't rewiring your.
brain, yes, it can be done through. visualization and and all of that, but a. lot of the circuitry like habit. formation and all that, a lot of it. comes from action and from doing. And. so, I I do think that, of course, it. requires action, but taking aligned. action. And when And I think that it's. important to recognize that when when. you have action, but your brain isn't. programmed to see it, then you'll be. taking action for a long time. You might. achieve it, you might not. But when And. when you're, of course, only doing the.
brain component or the energetic. component of it, the mental component, you might become this great thing, but. it then it it's going to take action for. you to go. And I think that when you. have both your brain is programmed for. whatever it is that you want and you're. taking action toward what you want, then. that's when you become completely. unstoppable. >> Yeah, it's so interesting to hear about. the exposure of the kittens. >> Yeah. >> what they had the vertical and. horizontal lines. I remember I was. coaching someone a few years back and. they told me that the richest person. they knew made $100,000 a year. And so, then I introduced them to.
someone who made $100,000 a month. And they were like, "Oh my god, I didn't. know you could make $100,000 a month.". Then I introduced them to someone who. made $100,000 a day. And then they're like, "Oh, wait a. minute. Like, I didn't know you could. make $100,000 a day." And then I. introduced them to someone who makes. $100,000 an hour. And it was just incredible to watch. their mind expand because it was just a. glitch almost in their belief system of. what was possible. And that wasn't about. that person wanting to become really. rich or wealthy. It was just about the. idea of can you expand the mind out. enough to be exposed to something that.
it hasn't seen before and heard before. and all of a sudden the person's being. able to wire differently. >> Yep. >> And being able to conceptualize dreams. and businesses and ideas that they never. have because they just weren't aware. And I always think about that. Like. what's the prison that we've created for. ourselves? >> Yeah. >> No matter how big your world is or how. small your world is. It just ends up being that size and it's. hard to do that if you haven't left your. town or met someone outside of your. landscape or met someone in a different.
career path. I mean, I talk about it all. the time. Growing up, I didn't know. anyone who looked like me who worked in. media or was on television or worked in. any sort of way. I just didn't see. anyone. And if you haven't seen it, it's. so hard to experience it or dream to. become it because you just think people. like you don't do that. >> Right, exactly. And that's why I'm. really big on normalizing your dreams to. yourself because yeah, exactly. If your. brain hasn't been exposed to it, it's. going to be really hard to honestly even. set the goal for yourself to be it or.
have it. And you know, I've definitely. had people like my business partner and. fiance, he he definitely showed me a lot. on the business side of things that I I. had never experienced before and I was. like, "Whoa, there's a whole different. world out there that I didn't even know. existed." Um but then also kind of more. in the content space and like meeting. people when I did I'm big into moving. and I love that you said that if you. haven't been outside of your hometown. because for me moving is a just. incredible way to level up your life. Um. I I love to talk about the brain also. being an association machine. So the.
brain love to make connections and. associations between things. And when. you move into a new environment, the. brain has no prior associations to. anything. It's like it's a clean slate. And so it's really easy to establish a. new identity or sort of new beliefs or a. new mindset in a new environment because. your brain has no prior associations to. kind of hold you back in that past. version of yourself. And so it's really. easy to start anew. Um but yeah, and I I. love I love going and putting myself in. environments where I'm being around.
people or places or things that are. expanding my mind. It's a It's an. incredible way to uh to level up in your. life and in your mindset and and in your. ability to even set goals for yourself. because I think for a long time for me, I didn't even know what I wanted to do. or be or have. I didn't I didn't know. like I didn't know any of it. Um and so. I think exposing myself to that and like. when I moved across the country to. Miami, I didn't know a single person. there, but being around certain people, I knew I was like, you know, this person.
not necessarily do they resonate with. me, but I know that they were brought. into my reality to show me what's. possible. And it really did expand my. mind. So I'm grateful for that. >> Yeah. How do How do we manifest based on. neuroscience? How would neuroscience. suggest we do that? >> Yeah. So. I have a three-step process. I love pro-. I love them. >> I love them, too. I know you do. I know. you have three-step processes. >> I love me some steps and making it. simple. Um that goes back to my. scientist days. So when it comes to.
manifesting, it really is the same thing. for anything that you want. So the first. step is to be is to identify the. feelings. Um identify the feelings that. you believe the thing that you want is. going to bring you. I always say you. don't want the thing that you want, you. want the feeling that you believe the. thing that you want is going to bring. you. So for example, if you are wanting. a relationship, then you might the. feeling you might be after is to be. loved and feel safe and supported. Um if. you're wanting a bunch of money, it.
might be freedom. Uh it might be. security again, safety and security and. freedom. Whatever it is, right? So those. are a few examples. But whatever it is. that you want, write down whatever it is. that you want, and then write down the. feelings that you believe those things. that you want are going to bring you. It's super important to identify the. feelings. And, I get a lot of questions. from people like, "What if I don't know. what I want?" Uh if you don't know what. you want, um that's fine. You can still. write down the feelings that you want. cuz I think a lot of times maybe we. don't know. And, I think a lot of times. also we think we know what we want, uh. but we don't really know what we want. Uh but, it really is the feeling that. we're after. And so, identify the.
feelings. That's the first step. Identify the feelings and write them. down. Um and then from there, make two lists. The first list is a list of reasons why. you already have to feel that way. And. so, for example, for me, I actually held. a manifestation workshop in my. community, and I was my I always use. personal examples. So, mine was a. million followers on Instagram. And, I. didn't have it at the time, and I live. on that call, I realized, "Oh, what I'm. really after is feeling official and. accomplished." Like, I want to feel.
official and accomplished. That's really. what I want. Um and so then, I. identified these feelings, right? then, the next step is to write a list of. reasons I already have to feel that way. I think a lot of times, again, our brain. isn't even letting us acknowledge that. we actually can already feel that way in. the present. And, I was like, "I already. have this business. I'm coaching people. I'm changing lives. I have a giant. following on social media, even if it's. not a million. I have a lot of reasons. to feel official and accomplished. already." And, writing a list of all. those reasons down, and I have people in. my community that they print out their. resume and put it in their bathroom.
mirror, like all of the things that. they've done, right? To make them feel. that way. But, write down a list of the. reasons why you already have to feel. that way. >> That's brilliant. I love that. >> And then, the second list is a list of. things, right? So, sometimes people will be like, "Well, I. don't have any reason to feel that way.". Which I to that I would argue to that I. would argue, try harder. But, um there's. another list, and the list is a list of. things that you can give yourself that. you are in control over to feel that. way. So, if I'm trying to feel official. and accomplished, what can I do today to.
make myself feel more accomplished? Well, for me, I always feel accomplished. after I complete a workout. I always. feel like I know that I'm writing a. book. I I can go write a few pages in my. book that will help me feel. accomplished. Um and so, again, what will help me feel. official? I mean, the definition What. does official mean to me? I guess for me. it's just like, oh, I made it. And I. guess that for that, I could go and. maybe read comments from people like. saying like, oh, you really helped me or. whatever it is. So, what are some. activities that you can do to give. yourself that feeling? And I think. combining the two is important, right?
Because again, acknowledging all the. reasons why you already have to feel. that way, but then also becoming more. aware of things that you can do in the. moment to make yourself feel that way. And when you start doing that, and after. like 2 months after doing that practice. on myself, I had a million followers on. Instagram. And I do believe and know. that it shifted my energy, right? Like. I'm creating now from a different space. of feeling more official and. accomplished. Um and so, I think that. that kind of process of identifying the. feelings, recognizing all the reasons you already.
have to feel that way, and then becoming aware of things that. you can do to help yourself feel that. way even more. When you start doing. that, now you have the feelings that you. want already. And now you've you're in a. place where you can also be detached. from the outcome. It's not going to stop. you. You should still go and work toward. the thing that you're wanting, right? But that's how you rewire your brain. So, that's sort of the neuroscience. component. Of course, we could go way. deeper into this and talk about this for. hours. Um but this is sort of like my. short condensed three-step um. neuroscience component to becoming a.
match to whatever it is that you want. And now, when you're going and working. toward the journey, when I was going and. working toward a million followers, now. I'm working toward it with a different. energy. I'm working toward it as a match. to whatever it is that I want. >> Yeah, that match piece is brilliant. I. love the way you broke that down. I I. think we all forget how many difficult. things we've already done, and how many. amazing barriers that we've already. broken through, and how many challenges. we've already overcome. And if you just. took a moment to recognize that, you'd.
feel so confident because each and every. person who's listening to us has been. through hell and back in their own way. And that experience is something we kind. of take for granted. We just don't We. don't realize how hard it was because to. us it was normal. We don't recognize just how much beauty. there is in it. That's brilliant. Do you believe that you can miss. something if it was meant for you? >> I don't I I don't believe that. If you Yeah, you can miss something. that's meant for you. because I think that really we are on. this journey to learn lessons and level.
up in our own little game of life. And. so I I don't believe that and I think. that if there is something that you. think that you missed out on that you. believe was meant for you. I think that I I'm a firm believer in. divine timing. So everything happens in. divine timing. Maybe not at that time, but it will come around and cycle back. I think that also life happens in these. sort of cycles. where every time you level up or just. you know, you'll you'll see the same.
situation over and over again. So I. don't think that you can miss something. that was meant for you. If you're not a match for whatever it is. that you want, I do think that you can. miss it, but then in that case it wasn't. meant for you in that at that time. >> I think you were talking about how. if you judge someone, you can. internalize those same things that. you're judging about them. And I really like that you brought that. out because I think one of the other. biggest distractions right now. is actually jealousy, comparison,
gossip. There's a sense of like we'll. talk about the person. It's what you. said was your fear with even becoming. more public and being more vulnerable. Is that people put themselves out there, then other people point to them, either. make fun of it or call it cringe or. whatever it may be. And then we don't. realize we're actually just setting. ourselves up for failure too because. then we're not able to put ourselves out. there. Talk to me about what do we do. with feelings of jealousy and comparison. when they're so human, they're natural. for us all to feel, but how do we. transform them into something actually.
useful for us rather than something. unhealthy? >> Yeah, I think for jealousy, a huge thing. that I would do when I first I don't. remember where I learned this from, but. I I have a mantra or statement that I. say, and when I see somebody with. something that I want, I say, "That's. for me.". And I think jealousy a lot of time is it. is just fear with a mask. It's fear that. we can't have it, too. It's fear that. this person can achieve this goal or.
have this thing and I can't have it, and. so I'm going to be jealous of them. Um. and I so I and I think that it is sort. of a limiting belief and a limiting kind. of mindset and behavior to be jealous of. somebody because you're basically. telling your brain that you can't have. it when whenever you're jealous of. someone. You're basically reinforcing to. yourself that's not for me. And so. recognizing that that when you're. jealous of someone, you're teaching your. brain, "That's not for me." Then you're. like, "Oh, wow. Um I don't want to do that anymore. I. want I don't want to teach my brain.". And I think that a lot of times we are.
shown things in reality. to see them and and when our brain is. triggered by this thing, it's because we. actually want it, too. It's to be shown. something that we can then go and work. toward. Um and so I started saying to myself, "That's for me." And I remember actually. when I first moved to Miami and I was on. the beach and I went on the beach and. there's this couple having a super. romantic like picnic on the sand and I. was very single. And. Um I just I remember looking at them and. I I took a video. I was like, "That's. for me." And just like being so. >> You took a creepy video of them. >> from afar and like, "That's for me,
too." And it's though it's really cool. though because I think maybe it was. about a year later that I'm less than. that, actually, that I met my fiance and then we were. both in Florida and we were doing that. So it's super cool um how that works. So. yeah, I think recognizing that you don't. want to teach your brain that you're. limited in that way. Like teach your. brain that that's possible for you, too. And so recognizing that that's really. what jealousy is, it's just fear with a. mask. >> Yeah, I really like the idea of that's. for me and the. idea that when you are jealous of.
someone, it's actually saying that's not. for me. And that is the emotion that. blocks you because and then you justify. it. You come up with so many reasons for. why you don't like what that person's. doing or so many reasons for why you. deserve that and they don't, but none of. that actually motivates you to get out. there. How much do you believe that our. matching is feeling we're worthy of. something or deserving of something? Like when you say that's for me, that's. you saying like, well, I deserve a love. like that. I deserve a picnic on the. beach like that. How much How much do we. struggle? What's happening in the brain.
when we're struggling with feeling. worthy or deserving of that? >> Yeah, I think it really is just a. worthiness component to it and I think. that there are there are different. components to achieving whatever it is. that we want or having whatever it is we. want. And like believing that it's. possible is huge, but also believing. that you are deserving and worthy of it. Um and worthiness comes down to. self-love and knowing yourself. Um and I think self-love really is one. of the biggest components to all of this.
that we're talking about today and. loving yourself. And so and loving. yourself is about more than just like. doing self-love practices. It's also. about knowing yourself and knowing who. you are and in in the the light parts. and also in the dark parts and and and. giving yourself grace and also accepting. all that you are and accepting every. single piece of yourself. And so when it. comes to self-love, of course, there are. so many I I mean, the first thing on. that would I would say is really your. self-talk and recognizing like what how. you're talking to yourself is so.
important. But I've seen insane shifts. in my own life when I have decided that. I'm worthy of something. And a lot of. times we don't again, it's sort of that. on that same playing field of. getting specific about your fears. Like getting specific about your. limiting beliefs and and where where you. are limiting yourself. And I think that. worthiness is a big component to that. And so recognizing that you are worthy. of whatever it is that you want is so. important. And yeah, I mean, you can of.
course like make a list of all of the. reasons why you deserve it and why you. are worthy of it and and that's great. But also like it really can just be a. decision to decide that I am worthy of. this. Like I I am worthy of this and I I. do deserve it and really like stepping. into that. And and if if you don't. believe that you're worthy of it, then. that's again an area where you can take. it all the way to the end and ask. yourself why. Like why don't I believe. that I'm I'm worthy of this? And then. getting clear on that and getting clear. on your why and then again, you can.
rewrite the story from there and and. kind of create a new narrative around. whether or not you're worthy of. something. But back whenever I was in. the PhD, I would go to this temple all. the time and hang out with all these. monks. And I got like really close with. a couple of them and I think one of my. greatest takeaways from the time that I. spent there and just learning from them. and talking to them is that wanting. things, wanting material things. and and physical things, whether it's. money or a job or relationship, whatever.
it is, it's it's it's not a bad thing. It's it's not bad to want to make more. money. It's not bad. It's it's actually. like one of the most spiritual things. that you can do is to be abundant. because it's that's the state of nature. is abundant. When a tree blossoms with. fruit, it's abundant with fruit. And so. you like we are abundant by nature and. and recognizing that and that like the. divine by nature is abundant. And so. recognizing that you deserve to be. abundant as well and and recognizing. that honestly really helped me because. before that, I thought and I think this.
is also where a lot of like the hate or. like I cuz I've got I've seen people. before I things like, oh, it's bad to. want money. I don't like money and all. that. I think um a lot of it comes from. that place as well as like. thinking that it's bad or feeling guilty. or shameful for wanting to achieve it. And I I think it's really important to. recognize that you don't need to feel. shameful or guilty for wanting things. That's actually like you came here to. expand consciousness and expand along. with the universe. Universe is. expanding. We're here to expand. Um and.
a lot of times that does mean to go. after whatever material thing that we're. wanting and that's that's it again. It's. not about the material thing. It's about. who we're going to become on the journey. toward achieving the material thing. But. the if the material thing is driving. you, that's not a bad thing and you. don't have to feel ashamed of it and you. can actually feel worthy of it. >> Yeah, it's so interesting how we think. of limiting beliefs as being I'm not. good enough or I'm not smart enough, but. shame and guilt can be limiting beliefs. as well. Like I don't I feel like if I. want that, then I'm a bad person. And if.
I want that, then I'm not a good person. or whatever it may be. And what do we do. with that? What do we do with limiting. beliefs of I'm not good enough? And what. do we do with the shame and guilt of. maybe I'm not a good person if I want. that. >> Yeah. Um so on the I'm not good enough piece, I think that's where I like to adopt the. game of life mindset. When you make it. to a new level of a game, you're tech. you're good enough to get there because.
you passed the previous level and you're. on this new level. But are you really. good enough to play this level yet? Like. prob no. You haven't learned the way. this level works. You haven't learned. the ins and outs. Um usually it takes. yourself you a few tries. And you got to. go and and navigate and learn the rules. of this new level of life and this level. of the game. And so are you good enough. to be on this level? Maybe not, but. you're good enough from to pass the. previous one. And but recognizing that.
that's okay. Like you're not meant to be. perfect at this new level yet. Like you. just got there. And so recognizing like. for me like I'm starting right now. I. might not be good enough to be a. best-selling author yet, but it's going. to be the journey that's going to make. me into one. And so I think giving. yourself permission permission actually. to not be good enough to do the thing. And I mean of course like understanding. who you are and knowing yourself and and. and being confident. And I think I have. like a hot take when it comes to. confidence that it doesn't have to your. like confidence isn't about achievements. or accomplishments. Confidence is.
knowing who you are. And I have a track. on like all streaming platforms. I'm. like I'm not trying to plug this right. now, but it's called like you don't even. realize who you are. And and I think for. me whenever I was first starting the. journey. to go into the PhD and moving to Arizona. where I didn't know a single person. there. I had people asking me like. aren't you afraid? Are you nervous? And. I wasn't at all. And and thinking about. why I wasn't, it was because I had just. embarked on this journey of. self-improvement and knowing myself and. self-awareness and also like a huge. spiritual journey that I was on. And I.
think that those two things together and. this sort of trust and surrender. mentality. I had trust and surrender. written on sticky notes everywhere. Did. I necessarily think I was good enough to. be to be this like amazing scientist. doing all these things? I don't know if I really believed that, but I believed that I was capable of. being good enough to do it. So. recognizing of course like innately I am. worthy, but also like mentally and. physically maybe I haven't gained those. skills yet, but that's okay. I don't. need to have those skills yet. From. there you can really again it all comes.
back to your why of why you want those. things. Like for me I don't feel shame. like I don't feel ashamed or guilty for. saying I wanted a million followers. because I know that with my platform. growing then I can impact and help more. people and that's my overall goal. Like. and so yes, of course like I want a. million followers. Honestly, if I'm. being honest with myself, I want even. more. And that's okay to want that, but also. understanding that what is driving me to. even build this from the beginning. because I never even My plan was never. to be a content creator in the first. place. I was just becoming a scientist.
and then the content about science was. taking off. It really is about helping people reach. their maximum potential and and giving. people the information that I wish I had. whenever I was younger that I didn't. have. And so, recognizing my why and. other people don't need to know that and. I I think one of the things that I've. had to really release on my journey is. being understood and accepted by. everyone. And when you are at I would. say that being misunderstood is the tax. that you pay for being authentic. And.
so, and authenticity is the most. magnetic energy that you could possibly. have. Like you are so powerful because. that's that's really if I if I have to. name a purpose that can be distilled. down to everyone, that is your purpose. to be you because like you came to this. planet to be exactly who you are. You. were made on purpose and so that is your. purpose to be you. Being yourself and. being authentic is super powerful and. and me kind of being myself and sharing. that like that that is me just being. authentic but also I I don't feel.
ashamed for it because I know my why and. I know that it's a lot bigger than me. and I know that it's going to be like. helpful for people and that's what's. driving me. You know, and there are. people that that and I can't speak for. everyone but there are people in my in. my personal life that that want to make. more money and they are driven by money. and I think from there it's like, "Okay, but what is your why? Like why do you. want to make more money?" And a lot of. times it's, "Okay, I want to be able to. take care of my family. I want to be. able to have a sense of freedom and. safety and security. I don't want to. have to worry about certain things." And.
that is completely valid and okay. And I. think again, you mentioned giving. yourself grace before and that's. something that I've recognized through. working with people. that most people do not give themselves. enough grace. We really do and and forgiveness is. powerful practice. Forgiving others but. also forgiving yourself. But I I think that when it comes to. feeling guilty or feeling shameful, I. think thinking about it from the. neuroscience perspective to kind of. attack from both sides here, realizing. that you learned that story.
Like, and that doesn't mean that it's. true. And so if you feel guilty um for. wanting money or a specific job, if you. feel that like if you feel like that. makes you a bad person, realize that you. learned that from somewhere. And that. does that doesn't mean that it's truth. It means that that's what was programmed. into you. And from there, and this is. what I tell people with limiting beliefs. as well, is look for evidence of the. opposite. Look for evidence of people. and I have people So one of my community. was like, "Oh yeah, there's this guy. who's super rich, multi-millionaire, and.
he uses that money and donates it to. charity and does a lot of great things. And so that's a great example of someone. who's gone out and made a lot of money. and then used it for good." And so of. course there are the opposite side of. that as well, but it that doesn't that. doesn't mean that that's going to be. you. And so recognizing that um. is important, too. >> Yeah, what I appreciate is you're such a. student of your own work. Like you're. you're you're testing these things out. on yourself. You're creating the things. you wanted when you were younger. What's the work you're doing on yourself. right now? Like what are you working on.
and. building for yourself right now? >> Recently, I have been doing a lot of. re-releasing. of being accepted and understood by. other people. That's something that I've. been writing down a lot in my journal. Um but also tapping back into my more of. my creative side. Something I live and. swear by is doing morning brain dumps. So every single morning I wake up and I. just I write for about 30 minutes in my. journal and I just write and I I prac.
and what it's great for a lot of. reasons, but also it does it is a great. way of practicing non-judgment of. yourself. If you just allow yourself to. get into flow and just write in your. journal without judging it, without. really overthinking it, but just stream. of consciousness writing, um it'll it'll it it's really kind of. priming your brain for flow for the rest. of the day as well as as well as, you. know, practicing non-judgment of. yourself um and getting into more of a. creative state, but also it's a really. great way to observe your own patterns, too. So, I love kind of analyzing myself.
in that way. Um, but that's really. something that I've been tapping into. and also I guess just really giving. myself more grace because the past few. weeks have been insane in my life. Like. where we just closed on a house and. we're moving and getting engaged and all. that. And I think like I was telling you. the house is a mess. We don't have furniture and there's a. lot going on, but recognizing that the. messy middle is proof of growth and and. sometimes the in-between stages mean. that you're growing and leveling up. And. so, giving myself grace and and and that. as well as and recognizing like, "Okay,
yeah, things are not put together right. now. Like we are not settled. I feel. displaced. I feel a little bit all over. the place." But recognizing that that. means that I'm in a a journey of. leveling up and is is a good sort of. mindset to have while doing this. So, I. would say that those are really some of. the key things that I'm working I'm kind. of acknowledging and wiring into my. brain right now. >> You're releasing the need to be accepted. by people. What is the part of you that. is crave to be accepted that you're. trying to release?
>> So, I think for me, I guess me. understanding my why and understanding. that I really am here to just help. people in every way that I can, it's. sort of tough when you when you see. comments or get DMs from people and I. mean. people have negative things to say or. they pick on like certain things like, "Oh, I can't believe that you would do. this." or whatever and it's just like, "Damn, like I'm trying so hard to be. like a positive force for good and then. no matter what I do it seems like so And. so, I've recognized sort of recently.
that maybe it's having a little more. effect on me than I would like it to. Um, and so, becoming aware of that and. now also recognizing that I think a big. thing that I've realized and I I guess. another thing that I've been working on. a lot lately is play and being in my joy. more. Um because actually we were in Sedona a. couple weeks ago and it was funny. because and this is you had mentioned a. little bit about the videos like what. you put out and what you put on to. people is actually mirrored in your. brain and you're really putting it on to. yourself. Um but I we were went to this.
like aura reading thing and and Alex he. asked me he was like, "What color is my. aura going to be?" And I told him brown. and and he's like, "What's your. gold?" Mine is going to be gold and we. go there and mine was brown. And um it really is true like you get. what you give and there's tons of. neuroscience behind that. >> gold? >> Yeah. It was gold. Yeah and it really is like I mean. obviously like and you kind of mentioned. it a little bit but when you when you. talk about badly about other people or.
just make any sort of comments like you. are activating those pathways in your. brain and so your brain isn't. necessarily even making the difference. that. it's about someone else. You're just. focusing on that emotion. You're. focusing on negativity or complaining. and for me it's like okay yeah I'm. focusing on that that brown aura but. really what I was told in that was like. you need to be pouring into yourself. more like you're pouring into a lot of. other people and you need to be pouring. back into yourself more. um and I've come to recognize that the. the comparison, the jealousy, the being.
bothered by what other people have to. say it has a lot less of an effect when. you're actually really enjoying your. life. Um and so pouring back into myself. more and spending more time in playing. like going on my ripstick and going. hiking and playing with my dog. um. but it allowing myself to actually be in. my joy more often and pouring more into. myself is actually something that I've. been doing more often that I kind of. fell off of doing um and it I think. that's one way that I am kind of. lessening the effect of that because.
yeah I recognize that it was having more. of an effect on me and I have learned. that those comments and the what other. people have to say, it really has less. effect on you when you are actually. truly enjoying your own life and feeling. confident in yourself. That and I also. had a dream. I had a this dream about the. neuroscience of reality and why you. shouldn't listen to what other people. have to say. Um and that actually of course it it. told me everything I needed to know and.
I made a video about it. And it was like basically the. neuroscience of reality in the. in in short is just the idea and. understanding how the brain works that. your brain is constructing your entire. experience of reality. Everything that. you hear, see, like you don't see with. your eyes, you see with your brain. All. your eyes do is just take in light. signals and then those light signals. travel through the brain where your. thoughts and your emotions and your. beliefs and your past it's all. incorporated before the image is even. put together that you see. This is why.
like they they've they've shown. differences in activity in people that. when they look in the mirror like they. have um sort of body dysmorphia or. whatever it is. They they've shown differences in brain. activity in those people. So it's not. just that like oh it's all in their. head, but really their brain is actually. constructing the image of them. differently. And so. this works with everything in your. reality. This is just how it works. It's. not just vision also. It's same thing. with sound. All of it. And so recognizing that what. that means is my brain is different than.
your brain. You live in a completely. different world than I do because your. brain is constructing the world. differently. You have a different brain. And so it's constructing a different. world. And this is why actually science. shows that no two people see color the. exact same way because no two people. have the exact same brain. I used to. work in a color vision lab and I got to. see how different objects were plotted. on this color map and how different. individuals would see the same color. fruit. And it was pretty cool to see. that. But yeah, and so recognizing that like. okay, every single person is seeing the.
world differently. Like they're. essentially living in a different. reality. Um and so when somebody makes a. comment or they say something. that might be actually true for their. reality. It might be true for them. That. might be the world that they live in, but that doesn't mean that it has to be. the world that I live in and doesn't. mean that it has to be true for my. reality. And so recognizing that um and. and of course like everybody's on their. own journey, their own timeline, their. own path. They have their own. programming like the kittens. Like. imagine the kittens that were raised. with the horizontal lines giving giving. advice to the kittens with the vertical.
lines. The kittens with the vertical. lines would be like, "What are you. talking about? That doesn't make sense. at all." Um. and that's that's it's the same thing. for people. Uh we're all programmed and. raised differently and that's why you. know, we should take what resonates and. leave what does not resonate. Um but. also I think that that's given me a lot. of reassurance. So thank thankful for. that dream. Um but it's given me a lot of. reassurance uh on on my journey of. releasing that. >> Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you for. sharing that. I wanted to talk to you. about love. You just got engaged 2 weeks ago and.
you've said that you don't attract what. you want, you attract what you what your. brain is wired for. And I wanted to ask you for anyone right. now who's. in that space where they're like, "I. want to be in love. I want to find my. person.". But maybe they just got broken up with. What do you do when you're feeling going. back to what we talked about earlier, you're almost feeling so desperate that. you just want to find this person and. you keep hearing different forms of. advice. Someone's like, "Yeah, you just. got to get on the apps. You got to.
focus." And the other person saying, "No, you'll find someone when you're. least interested in looking for them.". People are confused. Where do they start. from a neuroscience point of view? >> Yeah, so I can share my story of it all. and of course I it's really funny. because whenever I was um still dating, I used to people in my life would be. like, "Um you you date like a. scientist." And I absolutely did date. like a scientist. So everything I I like. to be super intentional with the way. that I do things. So. um whenever I would date people or go on. dates or whatever it is, like I said, you do have to be a match for it, but.
also you should be sort of putting. yourself in positions. Um, but so I. would go on dates and stuff or whatever. And actually what ended up happening was. I ended up with a list. I love lists, if. that's not obvious. I ended up with a. list of all of the different qualities. that I wanted in a partner. Um, and I. because I became very aware and clear of. what I didn't like in people and what I. did, um, at least for myself, right? And. so these weren't necessarily physical. attributes, but values and different. like characteristics of a person. I took. stock of, okay, where am I a match that.
I'm where am I not? Like if I'm wanting. someone that's physically active and and. physically healthy and into fitness and. and likes to eat healthy and all of. that, like am I living that lifestyle, right? Like am I match for that? And so. I think that's the first step is getting. super clear. And I think also. understanding what you want is very. important when it comes to wanting to. date someone so or wanting to meet your. person. That's honestly what I did is I. I would treat it like an experiment and. collect data of all the different things. that I valued and things that I didn't. and then on that list recognizing like,
okay, where am I out of sync with. whatever it is that I'm asking for. Am I asking for something that I'm not. currently embodying and then embodying. that. And then honestly, what happened. was I did give up. I did actually give. up. It would I met my fiance literally. the same week I had said to my friends, I'm giving up on dating. I I went. through like a little bit of like a. talking stage and then ended it and I. was like, I'm giving up. I'm just going. to focus on my business. I'm going to. focus on content. I'm going to I'm just.
going to do me and and and literally I. was in the middle of doing me and you. heard the story like how we met, but we. met on a work call. So, I was. in the process of doing me and I think. that it really does work well when it. happens that way because I met someone. that was literally my perfect match. And. it was really cool because. I think maybe like a few weeks after we. officially started dating or whatever it. was, I went back and looked at the list. and he checks every single box on that. list. And so it works and I think from.
that for that I I also tell people like. don't ever settle. Like don't settle for. a person and it was really cool because. when I it was that moment of like oh. that's what it's supposed to feel like. Like there for so long I was like. fighting to make certain things work or. like trying to like make explain myself. in situations or whatever it is, but. then finding that person that really. understands you um that you don't have. to over explain yourself all the time is. is really. incredible. But yeah, and so I guess. just again getting clear on the feelings.
that you want. And I think when it comes. to manifesting love from the. neuroscience perspective of it, you do. have to date yourself. And people do say. that and you do you do have to be in. love with yourself and you do have to. date yourself and you do need to have a. really good relationship with yourself. because I mean the truth is is that like. relationships are like they are work and. you do have to pour into them and there. are going to be moments. where you're going to maybe not see it. the same way, but understanding yourself. and really being really confident in who. you are is really important even for the.
longevity of a relationship. So it's. more than just about finding your. person, but also making that. relationship last and making it a. healthy relationship, dating yourself. and really being in love with yourself. and having a positive relationship with. yourself is super important. So I think. of course then again what what's the. follow the three-step process that I I. said earlier. Identify the feelings that. you want the person to give you. Like do. you want them to make you feel safe? Do. you want them to make you feel. supported? Are you making yourself feel. supported? Do you support yourself? Do.
you celebrate yourself? If you want. someone to celebrate you, are you. celebrating yourself? Because the way. that it works is then if you get into a. relation you start dating someone or. whatever it is and they don't celebrate. you, if you don't celebrate yourself, you. might let that slide. But if you're. celebrating yourself and you're loving. yourself and showing yourself all of the. being for yourself all of the things. that you're wanting from someone else, then you would you wouldn't even. settling wouldn't even be in your. vocabulary. Um because as soon as. somebody didn't do something that you.
would do for yourself, little switch. will go off in your brain and be like, "Okay, something is a mismatch here and. it's not Maybe it's not completely a. match or maybe it's something you need. to communicate." But, either way, again, giving yourself all of the feelings that. you want to have from that person is. then going to make you a match for it. Um and then also, whenever you're dating. someone that's not a match, again, that's where your question of do you. think that you can miss something that's. meant for you, um this is going to make. you better at missing things that are. not meant for you. >> Mhm. Well said. Yeah, it's been great. I've learned so much and I.
I think we've touched on everything from. manifestation to relationships to people. dealing with self-doubt, to people. knowing their values, getting to know. themselves, being able to understand My my biggest. takeaway has been this idea of. the mismatch of identity with goal or. even identity with person. And I think that's going to help so many. people and I love all your steps and. lists. Keep them coming, they're great. Uh but Emily, we end every episode of On. Purpose with a final five. These. questions have to be answered in one.
word or one sentence, maximum for each. of them. >> Okay. >> And then sometimes I'll break the rules. Uh. but I'll let you know. So, the first. question is, what is the best advice. you've ever heard or received? >> The best piece of advice I've ever heard. or received is. don't follow or do what you think you. should do or what you think is going to. work, but follow or do the thing that. most lights you up because that's the. thing that you're going to make work in. the end. >> Mhm. Well said. Uh question number two,
what is the worst advice you've ever. heard or received? >> You have to do you have to follow this. diet or you have to create content this. way. You have to have this schedule for. posting. You have to do this, that, or. the other. Um, I think when you try to. follow specific. step-by-step paths that work for other. people, and I think for the same reason. of the neuroscience of reality and that. you live in a different world, um, it. might be true for somebody else's world, but it's not necessarily true for your. world and your reality. And so, I think.
any piece of advice that that any My. answer would be any piece of advice that. is calling you to go against your own. intuition. >> Mhm. Question number three, for anyone who's. listening to this, when they wake up tomorrow morning, what's one thing you'd like them to try. or do differently? >> All right. When you wake up tomorrow. morning, well, before you went to bed, I hope you. didn't give yourself a whole bunch of. cheap dopamine so that your dopamine. stores can. re- replenish themselves. But, I would.
like them to try the three M's: movement, mindset, and mindfulness. And they can be done in. any order, but these three components in. the morning, they make you that deeply. rooted tree so that you're not swayed in. the wind of life. And it can be as short. as 15 minutes. It can take you 2 hours. It For me, it depends on the day, but. movement is super important. I mean, every single night as you sleep, your. brain dumps a whole bunch of waste down. into your neck through the glymphatic. system. And if you're not moving in some way,
shape, or form, it will just sit there. in your neck. And there's actually been some studies. now showing they're linking that to. Alzheimer's and cognitive decline. And. so, it's just super important to move. your body and so And And back in my PhD. days, whenever I was super busy, I would. just hit three sun salutations. Like, 30. Like, 1 minute and I would be done with. that. And then, mindfulness. And a lot. of people ask me, like, "What's the. difference between mindfulness and. mindset?" Um, for me, mindfulness is. raking the soil and mindset is planting. the seeds. So, mindfulness can look like.
meditating. It can look like breath. work, whatever that is. And then, mindset for me is setting an intention. or an affirmation or whatever it is. If. you do those three things in the. morning, you really will set yourself up. for success on a level that you might. not have ever seen before. >> Nice. Question number four, what's something. that you've learned in neuroscience that. still shocks you or something recently. that you learned that really stands out. to you? About us.
>> The one thing that still shocks me that. is super powerful and really important. to know that I never hear anybody talk. about is. how the vagus nerve ties in with our. ability to manifest and our intuition. >> Talk to me about that. >> Yeah, so there's actually research to. show that the level of our the level of. how much our vagus nerve is toned. actually is connected to our intuition. And of course the vagus nerve is the. 10th cranial nerve and it is what is. really responsible for that mind-body. connection. And what they found is that.
now so when I say like the vagus nerve. how toned it is, you can think of it. like a muscle. So when your muscles are. really toned, um. you're when your muscles are really turn. toned, they're stronger. When your vagus. nerve is really toned, it's stronger. It's better. It's better. Um and so when you have more vagus tone, they've actually found that your your. sense of intuition is stronger. It's. more accurate. Um but also your nervous. system is more regulated. So you're in. more of that kind of like rest and. digest feeling of safety. You're better. able to rewire your brain. You're better.
able to learn new things. Um and it's. super powerful. And something that I I. always tell people and I I've talked. about before is just how easy it is to. tone it like right in the moment. Like. if you're feeling anxious, you can just. start humming. Um and humming or you know, ohm or. whatever it is. It's really cool how. like ancient kind of spiritual practices. are um already doing it. But um humming. actually tones the vagus nerve and. that's one of There are many ways to. tone the vagus nerve, but that's one. thing that you can do in real time that. you'll immediately start to feel calmer.
and more relaxed in the moment. Um but. yeah, and so they've shown that when. your vagus nerve is not as toned, um you. actually have lower heart rate. variability, and heart rate variability. is also linked to intuition. And of. course, nervous system dysregulation. Um. and so, we're kind of more stuck in that. fight or flight, our intuition is less. accurate. And so, I think the vagus. nerve is is a kind of cool avenue to. think about and talk about that I don't. really hear a lot of people talking. about when it comes to neuroscience and. manifestation. >> I've never heard that before. >> Yeah. >> That's awesome.
>> And what are the other ways of toning. it? So, you've got humming. >> Yeah, humming, grounding, exercise does. it. Um actually really cool gratitude. practice tones the vagus nerve. >> Wow. >> Um but yeah, and so and and there are a. lot of ways like um. to tone it, but exercise, grounding, humming. There's actually like I I had. this device which I mean I'm they're. available everywhere, but they they like. vibrate and through bone conduction. actually can tone the vagus nerve as. well. So, there's a a bunch of different. ways to do it, but yeah. >> I love that. That was great. I'm glad I. asked.
>> Yeah. >> Uh I didn't I've never heard that. Fifth. and final question we ask this to every. guest who's ever been on the show. If. you could create one law that everyone. in the world had to follow, what would. it be? >> I would say. I I would want people to learn about the. power of their minds. Yeah. Growing up, I had so many labels and um. all these different like diagnosis put. on to me, and. I thought I was just stuck that way. And.
I thought that's just who I was and what. I had to deal with for the rest of my. life. And I had no idea that, oh hey, like through the power of. neuroplasticity and epigenetics and all. these different practices, I can not. only rewire my brain, but change the way. that I think and feel and behave, and. also change my physical health through. all of that. So, yeah, I would say that. my law would be that people need to. learn about how powerful their mind is. >> Is that what made you want to study. neuroscience? >> No, I actually found neuroscience on. accident. So, I was again just kind of.
following the rules that everybody had. set out for me. I was smart and good at. science. Um and so, I just was like, "Okay, I should become a doctor then.". And my major was actually biology. I. hated it. I did not like learning about. the Krebs cycle or photosynthesis or any. of it. Um and so, I actually went up to. one of my friends and I asked him, I. said, "I hate biology. What should I. switch my major to?" And he was like, "You should switch it to neuroscience.". I had never even heard of neuroscience. at the time. Um but it sounded cool. And. so, I switched my major. First exam I. ever took, I got a 100 and my professor. reached out to me and he was like, "Congratulations. You could have done.
better." And I responded back to his. email and I was like, "This is so cool. I need to be in the research lab." So, I. started doing research in neuroscience. immediately. Um. very early on and and that's where I. started to really. fall in love with neuroscience and just. learning about how cool the brain is cuz. the brain is super cool, but also all of. the different things that we can do with. it. And then, I was taking a class in. undergrad about the neurobiology of drug. addiction and why current treatments. don't work. And it it was like, "They. don't work because we don't actually. know the problem and we're just throwing. band-aids on the symptoms." And that was.
something I really resonated with kind. of growing up. That happened to me a. lot. Um and so, I was like, "That's what. I'm going to do. I'm going to go and I'm. going to cure drug addiction." And so, I. actually I actually ended up doing the. exact research that I wanted to do. I. was investigating new targets to treat. relapse to drug addiction. Um like. neuropharmacology and all of that. And. so, that's that's what I went to do. And. I like that you mentioned, you know, being open to other pathways and stuff. because yeah, whenever I decided. obviously not to be a a scientist in the. lab all the time anymore, um I kind of.
didn't really know what was going to. happen with that dream. But actually, someone in my Minecraft let me know that. she's 2 months sober since joining. And. for me, that made me that was a full. circle moment for me when I realized, "Oh hey, like actually, I still did the. thing that I want set out to do." Just. in a different way than I that I thought. I was going to be able to do it. So, that's how I got into neuroscience. It. wasn't on purpose. It was by accident. >> And what were some of the labels that. you had when you were younger that you. felt you wish you had this insight.
earlier on in life? What were those. labels? >> Yeah, so growing up I actually dealt. with a lot of physical and mental health. issues. When I was 8 years old I was. hospitalized with E. coli and then from. then on I really struggled with my. health. I was in and out of doctor's. offices all the time. I was at one point. in high school I was going to like the. emergency room. I remember having to. leave a haircut halfway through cuz I. had to go to the emergency room. So I. had like like PCOS, like hormonal. imbalance, all the different kind of. physical things. Um then mentally, you. know, like depression, ADHD,
um all the I just but one doctor labeled. me as bipolar, like a lot of different. things. Um. and knowing now what I know, like I was. a teenage girl like going through a lot. of hormonal changes and and not being. supported. And so, you know, and of. course like I I think especially with. and many other things. And I think. especially with the ADHD component, but. also now like I was talking to my. grandma on the phone recently and she. had asked me like, "Oh, how's your. health?" And I honestly hadn't thought.
about it in a long time and that's when. I realized, "Whoa, like. not only have I healed my mind, but I've. really healed from the inside out." And. I think for me. I thought that I was going to have to be. on all these medications the rest of my. life. I thought I was going to just like. I really struggled with like and I think. something with ADHD that a lot of people. don't talk about is. it's not just inability to focus and. being distracted. It's like, "Okay, if. you're bad at controlling your impulses, I personally also was bad at controlling. my impulsive emotions." And so I was. super emotional. There's a whole bunch. of things. And so I think for me I wish.
that I someone was like, "Hey, you can. actually start to train your brain to be. better at focusing and and being less. impulsive." Like for me, meditation gave. me superpowers. Um and I mean that in. every aspect of it. Like also like of. course with the brain and and focusing. and training. my ability to focus and all of that, but. also to be able to tap into my intuition. and to be able to tap into every all. that is and and all of that and just get. downloads and answers.
and all of that. So, I think yeah, I. wish that when it comes to all like to. answer your question of what labels, there are so many. and I just wish that somebody would have. come and told me, "Hey, you can you can change. You do have the. power to change." Because I thought I. was stuck like that and I thought that. there was something wrong with me. >> Wow, that's so powerful. I love hearing. that because I think right now that's. exactly what every young person's being. told and we hear those. diagnosis and they're useful, but then.
we end up creating a story around them. as well of what we can achieve, who we. can be, how much we can focus, what's. possible for us and you're living proof. that you can go on to not only heal from. the out inside out, but to actually go. and have goals and targets and win and. achieve. and build a healthy life, which I think. is so inspiring for so many to see. So, that's awesome. Thank you for sharing. that. >> Yeah, of course. >> Yeah, I love that. Well, everyone's been. listening and watching, make sure you go. and tag me and Emily with all the. incredible insights that she's shared,
any advice that stood out to you, anything you're going to try out, anything you're going to journal about. Go and follow M on the Brain on. Instagram if you don't already and. across social media and you can follow. Mindcraft as well, which is Emily's. community platform. Check that out as. well. Emily, anything else? Anywhere. else you'd like people to discover you, follow you, find you? >> Oh, no. Those are the main Those are the. main accounts. So, thank you for sharing. that. >> Of course, of course and I'm sure we get. to welcome Emily back when her book's. ready. She's already an author, but when.
she publishes her book, we'll have her back on. But yeah, such a pleasure talking to. you, Emily. I learned so much and thank. you for being such an incredible. instrument and vessel for neuroscience. and spirituality and mindset. Uh, it's. incredible what you're doing and I'm. such a fan. So, congratulations. >> Yeah, it's been great. Thank you for. having me. This has been awesome. >> Thanks so much. If you love this. episode, you'll enjoy my interview with. Dr. Daniel Amen on how to change your. life by changing your brain. >> If we want a healthy mind, it actually.
starts with a healthy brain. You know, I've had the blessing or the curse to. scan over a thousand convicted felons. and over a hundred murderers, and their. brains are very damaged.
