We Give Up

Let's talk about that. Good Mythical Morning. And Happy Thanksgiving to no one because no. one is watching today. Yeah, we got the numbers. No matter what we do, year over year, Thanksgiving. Day continues to bring in pathetically low viewership.

So, if you thought you wanted to watch us do stuff, rather than spend time with your loved ones, well we're. not going to do stuff. We're not going to do anything. Because that is our new Thanksgiving tradition. In fact, we're not even getting out of bed today. Take that, no one. It's time for Nothing. No title card. Because that would require effort. We're not giving any of that. Nope. How'd you sleep? Our team's not giving any of that. I didn't watch you tonight.

Thank you. I didn't watch you sleep tonight. Well, if you did, you'd have known that. I slept pretty good. Yeah, I slept okay. I thought we were going to say that we were never. going to reveal that our chairs turned into a bed. Oh, don't say that. Don't say that. - We sleep here and then our... - Yeah, but nobody's watching. And then this... Well, just in case somebody decides. to watch it one day. Don't reveal the fact that our bed is just, really. just two desk chairs. And this is where we spend all of our time.

It's pretty comfy. I poop and pee in this same spot, too. Yeah, yeah. My chair is a toilet. But it's really just a chair with a hole in it. Cause you don't want to get up. I'm not gonna tell anybody that. Cause I don't like to do anything. Especially on Thanksgiving. You ever thought of the fact that a toilet is just. a chair with a pipe in it? Like a hole in it, like you said? Thought of it many times. A chair, a toilet is a chair with a hole in it. - Yeah. - But then a pipe. It is really, uh, a chair with a pipe.

But don't think about it too much because that. feels like doing something. Okay. I wonder what my family's doing right now. I wonder if they're saying that they're thankful. that I'm not there. Hopefully they miss me. Probably not. I think we've done a good job of, of, um, being. tolerable to our families. Seeming necessary, you think? No, not that. Tolerable. Okay. Expendable, but tolerable. Right. That's the standard that we're going with.

Welcome, but not necessary. How can we care less than we do right now? Uh, I feel like we're doing pretty good at it. I think if I care less, my neck would go limp. You know you, you know you're really caring not much at all. when you have a limp neck. Yeah. When you're limp, when your neck is limp.

Like the first couple of weeks of the baby, they. can't hold their head up. They don't care. They don't care. They're too young to know to care. Yeah. Can you take my head and turn it towards you? Oh, you shouldn't have done that, because that. was you doing something. But you were doing so little, I was kind of trying to. meet you in the middle. I'm never gonna deny anybody the right to look at me. Can you turn my head straight again?

Okay. What about mine? All right, so I'm gonna limp neck it. I'm gonna slack jaw it. Can you turn my head? You want to go down? You want to look down? Uh uh. You want to look away? I want to look at you. Open. Open. Yeah. What? Just that.

Do the other one. Keep it open. I can't keep it open. Keep it. You open them both. When you want to talk to me. Now, can you look at me just a little bit? Hey. This is giving, like, sad medical vibes. Yeah, we probably shouldn't do that. But let me do it to you, though, because I want you. to know what it feels like. Close your eyes. No, no, make me talk. Close your eyes.

Close your eyes. I'm gonna open the eyes. I'm gonna open the eyes. Now, make me talk. Thank you. I'm, I'm, I'm not talking. I'm being used as a puppet.

That's good. Thank you. Say a lot, say a lot. I've got so much to say. I've got so much to tell you. I'm an auctioneer. Go to sleep. Ahhhh! Give me a version of that. Give me a turn.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Actually, hold on, hold on a second. My nose is itching right now. Oh, let me get that. Don't do that. What? I don't want you to. Okay. I don't, I don't, that's the one thing, that's the one. thing I don't want you to do. Are you catching your glasses off? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you gotta pull them up though. Oh, in the back, you gotta pull them up from the back. They kinda go down. There we go.

Okay. Hello! Hi, Bob! Wait, what? You're just, you're just making noises, you're not even... I can tell what word you're doing. You gotta say words. Okay. Hi, people. I just can't get up yet. This is hard.

I can't get up. Say, when the mouth opens, say a word. I gotta relax. When the mouth opens, say a word. I can't relax the jaw and talk. Yeah, yeah. This is a workshop right now. Here we go. Hi. I. Love. Do one syllable words. One syllable. For a while. Okay, okay. One syllable at a time.

I love all the children of the world. Are you God? No, I'm just a loving person. I love all the children of the world. You don't have to be God to love all the children of the world. I love all the children of the world. Is Stevie here? Uh, we told her to be here but not to expend any energy. And you know, in order to hear her, she has. to push that button.

You. You're, you're giving Willy Wonka grandparents. Willy Wonka grandparents? Yeah. Well, that seems like it might be too entertaining. Mm. We should be less entertaining. My nose is really itching right there. You wanna read a note that I wrote?

Oh, you have ideas, huh? This is the last note that I took on my phone. If you wanna read that. What did I just say? Call the cops. This crazy internet friend. Don't read the next part.

The names? Yeah, don't read the names. Blank and blank. Yeah, don't read the next part. Don't read that either? Don't read that either. Blank, blank, blank. Yeah. I really just wanted you to read the first part. Blank, blank, radio. Which was, yeah, don't say that. Really, just the first part is what I want you to do. What did I just say? Yeah. Let me see if I can find you a note. I was, um, I pulled out my phone, because. I said something that I wanted to write down. And then, by the time I had pulled my phone out, to write.

down what I had just said, I had forgotten, so I just wrote. down, what did I just say? And it, and I never remembered what I said. Then I wrote, call the cops. This crazy internet friend. Okay.

Give me a second. What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing? Have you ever taken a placebo? I don't know. Do they sell it? Do they sell it? Can you go to can you go. to Walgreens and buy placebo? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Excuse me, I'm looking for the placebo. I've heard that it has a 40 percent efficaciousness.

You have little, like, red marks on your face from where. Rhett was manipulating you. My hands are hot. Down here? Yeah. It's okay, they're fading, but he was. really gripping you hard. He was gripping me hard. He was trying to multi syllable that thing, and I wasn't gonna, I wasn't capable of it. Did you write a note? No, no, I found one. Okay. Sports.

Breakaway collar. On call normies. What is this? Is this a shopping list? Sports. Breakaway collar. On call normies. So normies are just normal people. Nothing too special about them. On the surface, at least. But you need to have them on call. On call.

If you just need somebody who's just run of the mill? You gotta have normies on call. Breakaway collar. So is this for priests? If they need to get out of it quickly. Why would a priest need to get out of his collar quickly? Don't answer that. Stripper priests. Yeah, don't answer that. Oh, really? Mm hmm. And what about sports? You just wrote sports. Sometimes I just think about sports. Sports.

Sometimes I just remember that sports are a thing. And when I do, I write that down. Okay. All right. That's the best note that I've got that's readable. Okay. I don't want to, I don't want to spend too much. energy handing it to you. I have a good note. I just read a note I have. Oh, let me hear it. Um, retro future invention, an intercom in the wall where you.

log details of your day and it prints out an ongoing record, like the, like the printer paper that's connected. So it's like a journal, but you journal to the wall. It's a wall journal. You know like in the 60s they had this like, intercoms built in the wall? Yep, yep, yep.

You like go up to your wall, and you press the button, and you talk to it, and then the printer prints out. And then you just have an ever going piece of paper that... Like a receipt paper. Yeah, yeah. So, did you make it? Well, that's, that's gonna be a scroll after a while. I think it's a really good idea. Hmm, what are you gonna call it?

Don't try to name it. - Yeah, that's too much work. - Too much work. What letter, what, uh, words do you know that. start with the letter G? Gas. Guggenheim. Garfield. Grass.

Goofing. Giant. Gregarious. Can we do proper? Yeah, I already did Googan. Greg. Glow. Grip. You hear my stomach? Growling. Ha ha! Yeah. Do you hear that? Yeah, it's growling. Shh.

Is it saying something? It's pushing things through things. Um, gastro. That's the thing about not doing things is that your. body's always doing things. Your body is constantly doing things and you can't stop it. doing things until you die. Yeah, thank God. The whole, like, every, every... every second or so, your heart is beating.

It's always, it's always doing that. You can stop breathing. Let's stop breathing for a moment. And you're still, your heart is still beating. And you're, there's little things inside your body. that are, there's processes that are happening. So it's really hard to do nothing. Yeah, you're never not doing anything is what. you're saying, which is. a good point.

Galactic. Right now I'm flexing my gluteus maximus. over and over again. You can't see that I'm doing it, but it feels like. right on the line between involuntary and voluntary. Oh, now you're doing it too hard. You making gorp down there? You don't want anybody to see that you're doing that. You don't want to make no butt gorp.

You know. Making some butt gorp. What is grapes? Oranges? What is it? Granola? Yeah, granola. Granola, oregano, raspberries, and potatoes. Yeah, what every hiker needs. Granola, oregano. I didn't want to say this. Ripe peaches. I didn't want to tell you about this, but they said. that we were supposed to talk about something.

They said that, you know, for the few people who would be. watching this on the day that it comes out, that we were. supposed to talk to them about how these pajamas that we're. wearing are actually available for purchase at Mythical.com. But they, they wanted us to show the full pajama. Well, they're going to be available tomorrow. And they wanted us to show them and maybe. talk about them. Oh, but I kind of feel like we shouldn't do that. I mean, I might put one leg out.

Well, that's what you would do if we decided to do it. Right. Tomorrow, you say, huh? Yeah. But can't. Mythical Society members, um, buy everything off the website starting today. for 30 percent off? Not that I would tell anybody. I think that is the case, though. Every single thing on our website? Yeah, cause there's a 30% On Black Friday? Sitewide Black Friday sale starting today. 30 percent off?

If you're a Mythical Society member? Yeah. But you have to have a code, right? Who's that? A secret code. I smell somebody. Oh. The secret code is at mythical.com. That's all I was trying to not say. I smell Chase. He's got a very specific... He sort of smells like gorp. He smells like grapes, oregano, raspberries.

and potatoes. Mythical Kitchen could make that. Grape, oregano. Grapes and oregano is a tough combo. Yeah. Grapes and raspberries, that works. I like that. Potatoes, starch it up a little bit. You don't see a lot of grapes with potatoes. I've seen a grape on a salad, and I don't even. know how I feel about that. I've seen grapes in chicken salad.

You know about that, right? I don't like that. If it's a little sliver, then maybe, but like, this half grape nonsense. Oh, really? That's too much. Ooh, I love a grape. - Grape in my chicken salad. - Too much. Too much. The main mistake people make with chicken salad. is not enough mayo. Mmm. You can't be afraid. And you need to shred the chicken. You don't need to dice it. Oh. And walnuts.

And just the slightest sliver of grapes, raspberries, and potatoes. And dill. Oh, God, yes. Boy, Dill is really good. Why is Dill so good? I think it's an old man thing. What's the deal with Dill? There was an audible Pfft! In the back. Why is it so good, though? And it's something we really agree on.

We both really like it. We get united about Dill. We make a big dill about it. On a regular basis. We'd love a brand dill. Yeah. We'd love a dill dill. Yeah. He's gonna give it to us, though. If Big Dill would give us a deal, We could be the dill guys. Yeah. The dill boys. We can't be the dill boys unless we get a deal, though.

The dill bros. The dill bros got a dill deal. I went to college with a guy whose last name was Deal. William Deal. Bill Deal. Bill Deal. Bill Deal? He never, he didn't go by Bill, he went by Will. Will Deal. Will Deal. Just as good. He was my study partner for a while. Do you ever have a study partner? Yep. Tommy. Not a good study partner. Tommy?

Tommy. Oh, he was a good study partner. And he was also a weight lifting partner. He was good because he wasn't as smart as us. Let's just be real. What, what are you laughing at, Stevie? Well, just like, you know these people. Someone's gonna reach out to them and be like, Rhett. and Link talked about you on Good Mythical Morning today. And they're like, oh, really? No one's watching. They're gonna pick this episode, it's gonna. be you two in bed. And they're gonna go all the way to the end. Don't say his last name. Did I say, did you already say his last name? I didn't say his last name. I didn't say it either.

Tommy. Tommy was a solid student, but he wasn't as smart as us. Oh, that's not true. I think he was smarter. And that makes him a good study partner. I think he was smarter than you. Well, Will Deal was, uh I don't think he was. as smart as me, but he was. I'll be honest with you, I didn't really think... He worked hard. I didn't really think about my study partners. The main thing I was thinking about when I was. with them was what we were studying, not whether or. not I was smarter than them.

Well, are they, I mean, you gotta feel, are they telling. you something that's not true? It's a sense of accountability. It's not a tutor, it's a study partner. It's like we're getting together at a certain. time, so we can learn this together and quiz each other. Okay. He was my study partner, too, for statics. Tommy was? Yeah. Oh. He partnered up with a lot of people. His endurance was short. He just couldn't. I think maybe me and him were just more on the.

same page because you studied a whole lot more. than I did in college. Oh yeah. I would be like, all right, I think I got it, and now. let's play Twisted Metal. And then Tommy would be like, I don't have it, but I. don't care as much as you do. We care. We care. Did he get a degree? Yes. What is he doing now? - Well, I don't think... - Is he in the field? I don't know if he's in the field. But he graduated. He graduated. He made it. When's the last time you've done that thing that you. do when you go on Facebook and then you're telling.

me about our, all of the friends we used to have? Have you done that recently? Not any time recently. Yeah, I'm about, I'm about ready for that. But you also could do it. Here's the thing, you get on your wife's Facebook. Mm hmm. Mm hmm. And then you, that's, that's how you start. Because she, because she's friends with our. high school friends. Well, you look up somebody, and then they're friends. of other people, and you're like, oh, I remember that. person, what are they doing?

And, and somehow, so many of them are still. very active on Facebook. That is the wild thing about people that we used. to know, is that they still use the website. I would read this, but I don't wanna. I don't. wanna do anything. Maybe if you open my eyes for me. Read it out loud.

Wrap. It. Up. Well, I would say this has been fun, but it hasn't been anything. That's right. Thanks for subscribing, commenting, and clicking. the bell, or whatever. Happy Thanksgiving. You know what time it is. I'm Patrick, and this is Kim. And we're from Boston, Massachusetts. And we're one of the 409,000 people watching you.

guys on Thanksgiving. It's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. Oh no, people are watching. Click the top link to watch us read a vintage telephone. book in Good Mythical More. And find out where the wheel landed. Our Black Friday sale starts on Friday. Get 30 percent off your mythical.com. orders all weekend. And if you're a Mythical Society member, you have. early access starting today.