Vintage Canned Foods Taste Test

What's going on inside this sixty year old can of cheese? Let's talk about that. Good Mythical Summer. Once again, the dedicated Mythical crew has scoured the internet for decades old canned goods. We're gonna crack them open to see if what's inside is still. good after all these years. Yep. And hopefully today's the day that we discover something good and not the day. that we discover something that we thought was a can is actually a Pandora's Box.

And it unleashes horrors never before seen upon the world, leaving us to team up with a ragtag team of locksmiths to save all of humanity. Can you imagine? Jessie would have to watch the new season of Emily in Paris without me. It's time for Show Us Your Cans! Vintage Canned Foods Taste Test. Peanut butter, boys. Starting with some. peanut butter.

Planters Creamy from the sixties. Seven pounds of peanut butter? Seven pounds. We paid a hundred dollars. That's like a baby. Vintage. If my wife gave birth to this instead of a child, I actually. don't think I'd be disappointed. Would you wait nine months for this? It's like you will go into the hospital room, they put the scrubs on you so you can be a part of the process, and your wife just gives you seven pounds of peanut butter. What on Earth. would I do with. such a big honking cylinder of peanut butter.

besides eat it? Well, I gotta say, you think it's still gonna be creamy? Yeah, it might be a little chunk-afied. It feels. If you can feel cream from the outside. Yeah. I feel like I can feel it. Can you feel it? There ain't nothing moving. Yeah, it feels. I think it's still creamy in there. It might. I don't know. I predict it might be a solid mass. Looks like a cross section of a tree trunk.

Well, if it makes a hissing sound, we know we shouldn't eat it. It didn't. Did you puncture? Oh, a little hiss. Let me smell the hiss. It's nutty. It's legumey. Take your time. I feel like it's. I mean, it's quite a circumference. Is it sinking? Don't mess up. Don't mess up the top.

We gotta, gotta pristine it. What are we gonna do? There's no way to keep the top intact. But that is as creamy as the day. my wife gave birth to. one of our, both of our children. So that right there just looks like peanut butter, y'all. Let's see if there's any chunky buried in there. How did it make it so far,

it's got no Boggs to it. It's a can, man. It's the beauty of the can. It's got no Boggs to it. Here, smell. There's something a little happening. How did you get? Did you touch your chin with it? Yeah, I did. Is it on my chin? Did you just touch your chin in there now? I don't know. At some point I chinned it. I don't know. Is it gone? Look at this. That's just peanut butter, guys. Ain't nothing in there but peanut.

No Boggs-alism. There's no chunk. That's just a bowl of peanut butter. You got a bowl, and I got a can. Let's eat it up, because we're the man. Peanut butter, boys. Are you scared? Nineteen sixties. Nineteen sixties is older than us. It's better than the. Than the eighteen sixties. I think we can tongue it. And then what? Just tongue it first. Okay. I'm only tasting it with the tip of my tongue. It tastes fine.

Okay. I don't want. Something like that. I don't want to rub it around. Yeah. It's not burned. It doesn't burn. It doesn't burn. He's saying it doesn't burn. I mean, it looks beautiful. I wouldn't have known the difference. And. when I serve it to people, they're not gonna know the difference. I mean, it tastes fine, but I kinda feel like I shouldn't. Oh, it's got a little, slightly metallic taste. There's nothing different about the consistency. And, boy, it's so deep. I think. the real discovery here is that you can get seven pounds of peanut butter.

Do they still do that? Like, surely there's. Costco has that. I bet you can. I bet you can. All right, so we've learned already. This is encouraging. Peanut butter, can! We've got this eighty plus. year old can of Maxwell House coffee grounds. We paid eighty-five dollars for it. That's, like, almost a dollar a year. That's right. The threefold flavor secret.

It's a choice blend. It's roaster freshness. Packed by the vita fresh process. Maxwell House is as fresh as the hour it was roasted. Okay, we'll see how well that holds up. Says it right there. Is one of the secrets wait eighty years? Maybe. Another secret. is, for perfect coffee, use fresh, briskly boiling water, so. We can get that. As long as the water's fresh. Yeah. Keep coffee hot on asbestos mat.

or in pan of hot water. Do we have our asbestos mat? No, but we might. What the crap? The bestest mat. I mean, people were putting coffee on something that was just. They didn't know, man. Giving you all types of cancer. They didn't know. What do we not know now that we will then know eighty years from now? I don't wanna. All right, let's open this thing. And now, this is one of those cans that had the. You can see the outline of where the pin was. The old school. And you would, like, twist it. I guess these didn't exist then, but I'm gonna try to use this.

Let's see if it hisses. Not yet. Okay, we got some hissing. It shot me in the face. And it's nothing but Maxwell House. Nice! I mean, it smells like fresh coffee. It sure does. Eighty years old? Whatever. Whatever's in there is gonna get killed in the process of making the cup. Right? Right, Link? Exactly. Okie dokie.

Oh, is it drip, drip, grind? It's drip, ground. Lucas gave me. some needle nose pliers here. I mean, what'd you expect? It's a little. I think it's faded. Well, hold on. First of all, it started out as Maxwell House. I think Maxwell House was as good as it got back then. I mean, it smells like. Maxwell House. Smells like coffee.

But the fact that it still has. It's a scent that I feel like is. eighty percent as strong as a normal scent. Four. It's pretty miraculous. I'm just counting. I'm not being informed by anything. I'm just gonna look until I think it's good. That feels about right. All right, fire this puppy up. And I don't wanna get ahead of myself, but this could be a time for a. clock wipe. Look at us on the other side of the clock wipe.

There's nothing more magical. I just smell. What? Coffee. I know. I mean. Here, let's. Let's take a. I don't know how. I don't know exactly how well, I did with the measuring. You were pretty generous, which. increases the chances of us liking it. I think. I think it looks pretty good. Because you have to think it may have. Well, it looks like coffee. Decreased in. potency, pungency. Putridity. could increase. But I'm sure it's one hundred percent safe. Well, you know what they say, Rhett.

Don't talk to me until I've had my World War Two era coffee. Dink it. Dink it. Sink it. I was kind of afraid, because I smelled something, but I think I'm just smelling the glass. You're smelling glass? I can smell glass. I haven't told you about this. That's cool, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is cool. I'm a glass smeller. Oh, someone here is bringing in. They're bringing in glass again. I can smell it.

It's bitter. You know how? It's just bitter, right? No, there's something else going on. I think it might be something to do with the eighty years. Because. you know how sometimes you smell coffee and there's a lot of people. who like the smell of coffee but don't like the taste of coffee? I feel like I just became one of those people in this specific scenario. because that taste is not reflective of the smell at all. Like, it. Something has happened. I only taste. bitter.

Yeah, it has. I don't taste coffee. It's retained just the bitter and lost any of the, like, whatever else coffee is. I mean, how many people, at least today, let's narrow it down to today, can say that they're tasting eighty year old coffee? I mean, it's probably happening somewhere. Somebody else. Somebody else. And we need to be friends. There's a market for this kind of stuff. Or do we? I don't know. I will say there's no Boggsness in this. Yeah. Just bitterness. At all. Like, it didn't get.

It wasn't like something was added to it. over the course of the eighty years. It was that something was. taken from it. Like the soul of the coffee was slowly. removed, and we were just left with a bitter shell of bitterness. Who is the most bitter baseball player? Bobby Bonilla? Like, in history? I think so. Yeah. Because, you know, Mark McGwire. beat him, for the record. No, that wasn't. That was Sammy Sosa. Barry Bonds. Barry Bonds. Barry Bonds is the most bitter baseball player.

You're gonna have to tell us in the comments. What if Bobby "Bonillia"? Bonilla. Bonilla was bitter, then it would be Bobby Bitter Bonilla. Bitter Bobby Bonilla. Bitter Bobby Bonilla. Yeah. We're just gonna assume that Bobby Bonilla is bitter. And this is giving very Bonilla. Ground coffee. Can not! Does your head hurt? Because I'm just saying. my head hurts. A little bit. And I feel like. I've been Bonilla'd. I'm getting that Bonilla.

By the way, Bonilla is, like, very much not bitter. I mean, look at the, look at this baseball card picture. He's so happy. He's very happy. I want to apologize to the Bonilla. family. He's still alive. I'll respond directly to Bonilla. We were thinking about Barry Bonds. He's not bitter at all. Sorry. He seems like a really delightful person. All right. Our Pin of the Month program features a limited quantity of. collectible pins every month. You heard about this? I'm promoting it. Tell me more. Tell me more. I'll tell you more. Our August Pin of the Month is launching. this coming Monday. That is. August nineteenth. Remember, you only have twenty-four hours to secure a pin.

I might be wearing it right now. Oh, well, that's convenient. Let's talk about that. mythical.com. Get ready. We have rum cake from the seventies. Cake in a can. Now, I will say, I've been reading the instructions. It says turn can upside down for five to ten minutes. Upside down cake. Five. Clock wipe. No, we don't have to do it. Ten minutes? Oh, we did it. I felt that. Every time we said clock wipe.

It happens. When I turned it over, I felt it move. You did? Yeah. Yeah, I can feel it moved. Can I feel it move? It's released. After all this time, it has released. What? Turn it upside down and tell me you didn't feel it release. Oh, yeah. It's moving in there. Isn't that fun? Isn't it fun when you can't see something, but you can touch it and move it and tell what's going on inside of it? What is this? Isn't that a fun thing to do? It's a fun thing to do. French type babas. Babas. Oh, babas. Open it, bro. Babas Bonilla. Do you want this?

Do you want that? Bitter baba Bonilla? Oh, no hiss. No hiss whatsoever. That's a good sign. Maybe this will help my headache. Oh, no, it won't. Based on what I just smelled. We paid eighteen dollars for this. Oh, it's still wet. Oh, it's got a hole in the middle. Look at that. Oh, they'll see more than that in a second. It's a strong.

Oh, you just dog fooded it. Look at that. It's like a steampunk Hostess snack. Now, it says fill, Link, it says fill the hole. with whipped cream or ice cream. Decorate with fresher candied fruit, cherries, et cetera. Look at that. There's actually four of them. Yeah, this is one. This is. I have two in my hand right now.

Oh, they're. They're very rummy. Don't you think the rum maybe did. the trick? Oh, no, rock. No rot. Did you just call me rock? Rock. Rock. I think we can tongue it. It's just the seventies. I have a headache. This will cure it, man. Oh, in that case. Don't splash me.

Don't splash me, man. Well, it's still moist, and that's really. That's really the most important part of this, I think. So, I don't want to just discount it. It's still. It still looks pretty. I like. the idea. It completely released. Of a cake in a can. If we were to decorate this up in a way that is described on the can, I feel like. we can have a little good time together. Oh, yeah, yeah. Let's cut it.

Carney wants to see the inside of the cake. Carney rarely gets out of his seat. I want to let you know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Carney just walked all the way over here. He wanted to see. Just to whisper in Rhett's ear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you crack open that rum? Crack it open. Crack it open. I gotta see it. Okay. I just gotta see it. You satisfied? I think it's. I think the smell. that you're reacting to is just the smell of a rum cake. They're super rummy. Does anybody know what a rum cake's supposed to smell like?

Rum. That's not rum, dude. That's. Does anybody have, like, a grandparent who makes a rum cake? No, nobody does. I mean, it doesn't smell great. This isn't good. This isn't good. But the way that it's stacked. Carney just. He came over. Carney walked back over. He left his seat again and just said no. Oh, gosh, I'm feeling not great. I can't keep listening to you telling me to tongue stuff.

It's not, that's over. What if you just stuck your tongue in the hole? Well, it is tempting. That's tongueing nothing, technically, when you put your tongue in a hole. See if you can get your tongue in there without touching it. Make it. See how narrow you can make your tongue. Make it tiny. That's pretty tiny. I think you can get in this hole without touching the sides. So, your goal. is to make your "nung. Your "nung". My "nung". Make your tongue as narrow as possible. and get it all the way through.

Poke it out on the side. We're going profile. Okay? See if you can get it through. You bring it to me. Do you want me to ream it out a little bit for you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give it a little ream. Okay. I'm reaming the cake. So easily distracted. Okay. All right. I'm just reaming it, just a little bit. I mean, the perceived value. of this. has to be low. Because. again, we only paid eighteen dollars for it.

I don't know how good I did. Let's just get it. Don't touch any of that cake. Make it longer. I can't. My tongue won't stop moving. Oh, I thought you were doing that on purpose. No, I'm trying to make it real small. Make it small, but longer. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But don't make it bend up at the end. Make it flat. Stevie, where are you in all this? Far, far away. Oh, hey, right at the beginning. That was good. Too much slope.

There you go. Yeah, there you go. I can get it on that. Get it through. He got it through. He got it through. He got it through. Call me, Bobby Bonilla. He just said, call me Bobby Bonilla. That's what he said. Rum cake. Can not. Can Chef Boyardee's grated Parmesan cheese still be grated.

if it's from the sixties? Get it? Well, I'm gonna. Yes, I'm gonna shake it. Oh, it's still shaking. Still shaking. All right. And it says. directions, pour contents in dish. and fluff. with a fork. Okay. All right, you ready to fluff? And, I mean. I got all kinds of dishes, Link. Look at the rizz.

Just depends on what color it comes out. Boyardee. I mean, he is just. He's still cheffing it? He is cheffing it hard. He was cheffing it hard way back when. That's not, that's not a lot of cheese. It's not. And the fact that. it's in a can, it's just so foreign to us. future people. Back in the day, they used to cheese things lightly, you know? Let's see if it. We cheese things hard. Let's see if it hiss. None yet.

None. None. And. Parmesan cheese is aged. on purpose. What's a little more aging? Oh, it looks rusty. Oh, it smells a little high. I'm about to get botulism, so I don't want to. Oh, my gosh. Bobby botulism. Rhett, pour it on. Pour it on the white plate, because. that's what it is now. That's what it is. It's construction dirt.

Yep. It's like what ants live in. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's ant dirt. You know, when ants dig a hole and then they put that beside it, they just like. Oh, yeah, they get, ants begin. Oh, my gosh. It's hitting me over here. Hold on. But I kind of like it. It's putrid, but still cheesy. But sort of nice. But I can tell that it was cheese. Oh, it's so Boggs. I cannot. It's so Boggs when you get close to it. I do not. Do not do this to me, because I'm already. over here.

away from it. Have you smelled the Boggs yet, though? Yes. Trust me. This is the first item that has Boggsed today. I thought we might have a no Boggs day. Right. I was getting sad. It's a big baseball day. It's good for the MLB, all of this, you know, we're doing our part. Do you think that Bobby Bonilla and Wade Boggs. ever? They went up against each other? Yeah. Lick your finger. Touch it, put it on your tongue. If. Well, if a Boggs is the smell of something. like that, what does Bonilla represent? Bitter. We've established it.

But he's not bitter. I know, but that's the irony in it. We have to go with it now. What do you want me to do? I want you to lick your finger. I want you to touch it. You want my tongue real small? And then I want you to. Yeah. You can't do it. Why are you making a? Why are you looking up? Just, just. You catching something? You catching rain? Sorry. Did you, did you do it?

Do I what? Did you stick it? No, I'm licking first. Oh, and now stick it. Yeah. Lick, stick, then lick. Yep. It's not stick, then lick. It's lick, stick, lick. Lick, stick, lick. Lick. Stick. Stick. Don't. hesitate. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. No, no, I can't. But I kind of want to. Do it. I can't do it. I'm afraid something's gonna happen. I know, I know, listen. Chef botulism, man. I mean, look at the inside of that.

This isn't summer vibes. Look what happened. Yeah. Yeah, that's not good. Don't do it. Don't do it. Grated cheese, can not! Maybe if we had some ants. So the only food that we found that could was. the peanut butter. Right? Peanut butter. Yeah. It started so strong. And I feel so great about that. Get this out of here. Just get. I feel like it's. It's giving us something. Yeah, we probably got some. We probably inhaled some. But the peanut butter boys. have done our job again.

We're advancing. peanut butter throughout all time and eternity. We're doing great work, Link. Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell. You know what time it is. Hello, I'm Katie from Kelowna, British Columbia. And this. is Rhett. Just kidding. This is actually Link. Just kidding again. We didn't do that. That's River. And it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. You stinker. I love it. Just kidding. We didn't do that. Is it even really a baby?

Is it a doll? I don't know. This isn't a baby at all. Click the top link to discover what the best name for a thirty year. old is in Good Mythical More. And to find out where the Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land. Get ready Mythical Beasts, our August Pin of the Month, will be available this Monday for just twenty-four hours at mythical.com.