Ultimate Super Glue Test

What super glue is the most super? Let's talk about that. ( music playing ). Good mythical morning. Today we are going to stick it to the man. - ( grunts ) - And by man, I mean me. And by stick it, I mean super glue me to a wall. Yeah. After that, we'll find out if chocolate. - is indeed going to be extinct in 40 years. - Hm. - I don't know. - But first, we're going to put some super glues.

to the test to discover the very best super glue on the market. It's time for... Okay, so we've got eight different brands of the best. super glues on the market. Yes, there are at least eight different brands of super glue. - Oh, I know. - You know? I use 'em all. I'm completely unbiased coming in to this... - Okay. - as any good judge should be. Well, we will determine a winner. To keep things fair, all of these super glues are multipurpose. so they can be applied to just about anything, and we're gonna test these in a tournament style. of bracket-dism, where two glues go head to head.

and the best one advances. until we have a winner. Rhett: Let's get to gluing. The original Super Glue comes in a pack of two. for $4.19. Rhett: And Elmer's Krazy Glue, a little bit cheaper, a pack of two for $3.55. And on this packaging it says, "Elegant and smooth finish.". And mine says, "Eye irritant.". ( laughter ). Okay, I don't want to--. - That's not a good marketing slogan. - Go ahead. Irritate your eye with that. I will say that, the fact that they have to call it.

"Original Super Glue" means, somebody do. a good job at the trademark office. 'cause it could just be Super Glue, but apparently, they couldn't hold on to that one. We're gonna glue in the exact same way. Link: Boop, boop. Okay, we have allowed them both to sit and dry, and the heads are firmly glued. Just like new babies. And now we're going to undo all of that work. Now, I feel like in order to be scientific, like, I should grab both heads. And you should grab whatever else part of the baby. - you want to grab. - I don't want to look down the--. You don't have to-- Just grab it somewhere.

And I think that your left arm. and my right arm, and then your right arm, and then your right arm and my left arm, technically should have the same exact force, right? - Yeah, science. - Of course, yes, um... We just pull and increase the force at exactly the same rate. Right, and the head that pops off first obviously loses. Okay, and the crazy baby is in my left hand, and the super baby is in my right hand. I'm gonna be more of an anchor. - Oh, gosh. - I'm really gonna grab these babies--. but ( muttering ). Sorry babies, I'm putting a thumb. right in your eye hole. - Three, two... - Link: Gosh.

- Rhett: one. - ( both grunting ). - ( snap ) - Oh, yeah! - That went first. - That one lost. Yes it did. Yeah it did. So, the "Krazy" baby lost. The Super Glue really is super. All right, I've got Gorilla Glue. Uh, this is a pack for $4.79. That's over half an ounce. This is a big, big thing. Yeah, and I've got Scotch Super Glue, which one pack of four costs $3.59. and each one is single use. which is smart because if you forget to put the cap on. after a few seconds, 'cause you're gluing something,

- you lost the whole container. - Yeah, there's a lot of risk in this. - 'Cause it glues itself shut. - And is Gorilla Glue, like, compensating for something with such a big container? So much glue. - Who needs so much glue? - Gorillas, man. Yeah, exactly! You walked right into that one. All right, and we're going to be gluing. snakes and planes together. because "Snakes On A Plane.". But we're not gonna do that 'cause copyright, - so we're gonna put planes on snakes. - Okay, yeah. - So this is "Planes On Snakes." - Totally different! Okay, so just put a big--. let's just go big right here on this little ridge. Okay. ( snake hissing sound ).

- All right. - ( imitates machine gun ). These things are fully set and dried. How do you want to do this to be scientific. - like we were the first time? - Uh, parallel pulls. You want to hold the snake or hold the plane? I like to touch planes. All right, I'm a snake grabber. The Gorilla is gonna be in my left hand. Yeah, same as last time. The one that is on my side will always be in my left hand. Turn the plane around towards me. You want upside down snake? Yeah, and then I'm grabbing the... And you want me to pull down? You want me to pull back? What you want me to do? - I could see all... - Just pull. all these glue brands are like,

"These dill weeds.". ( laughs ) Here we go, okay. Three, two, one, pull. - Oh! Yeah. - Oh! This one lost. - Yeah, but hold on... - ( ding ). ( stammers ) It's happened in the same way. it happened in the first round. But I gotta believe it's still equal though. Yeah, it's equal. Yeah, 'cause your left and my-- ( laughs ). - Exactly. - The most scientific part of this whole thing. - is my shirt. - ( laughs ). - Let's be real. - So, Scotch... wins. Gorrilla loses.

Loctite in the blue bottle. $4.47 for this bottle here. Rhett: And Starbond--. sounds like a condition that a celebrity stalker has, is the largest bottle that we have seen thus far. Two full ounces. But you gotta pay $10.79 to get those. Link: All right, we got some laptops here, we're gonna glue these shut. And, um, because this is the best method. to prevent our kids from being on screens. Yes. ( squirting sounds ). Okay, these laptops have been rendered useless. - Or have they? - I don't know. This is gonna be tough here. - Now. - There's a--.

- There is a space to.. - Yeah, I can--. - to get the fingers in there. - I can feel that the fingers. can go in so I'll take the thick side, and you take the thin side? - Yeah. - I don't know how we're both. gonna get our fingers in here. Ooh! It is really stuck on the sides. - Can you-- - All right, so... put it down on the table. And then... - Rhett: Maybe we should. - Your hands--. - Your hand's kind of in the middle. - All right, hold on, hold on. This is going to get a little too unscientific, Link. I think what we should do is that one of us, I can volunteer, should do each one of these.

And just measure your own internal strength meter. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. - Okay? - Go for it with the Starbond first. I'm just gonna get my... Just get a good feel for it. Gotta go to the strength zone. What are you talking about? All right, I'm gonna cross my eyes a little bit. Pop it! Pop it! Pop it! Pull it! Yes. - ( laptop cracking ) - ( grunting ). Come on, Rhett! - I'm wait-- I'm-- - You volunteered!

I'm redlining in the strength zone right now. ( laughter ). ( grunting ). Okay, hold on. Maybe I should--. - No, maybe I should take this one. - Yeah, try that one, yeah. Redline and see if it pops. Here, redline that one. That was Starbond, right? - Yes. - Starbond's strong. All right, now redline equally. You got your-- Your face has to get equally as red. Eyes have to be as crossed. - ( grunting ) - ( laptop snaps ). - Oh! - Oh, nothing! Nothing! So easy! - Oh, wow. - So easy. I got this $7.28 cent bottle of Bob Smith in front of me.

You know Bob. He makes super glue. - Yeah, he does. - And it is the most. expensive one per ounce that we have. But the biggest one is Glue Masters. That's a little presumptuous, - don't you think? - Maybe not. But this is for all your gluing needs. and for everyone else's gluing needs. because you're not gonna run out of glue. with this big eight ounce bottle. that costs $25. And we've got my favorite... - ( music playing ) - Oh, Billy the Big Mouth Bass singing... I got one of these for my father-in-law--. Shut up! Hit the red button again.

Oh, pull the battery out. What? Okay. Glad the batteries weren't super glued in. That's enough of that voice. Let's glue some teeth to these guys. because, you know, that's what bass are missing these days. I'll be the bass dentist. Okay, there's some pliers over there. - Oh, yeah. That's how I like to pull 'em. - You're gonna do both of these. You gotta-- you gotta measure the internal strength meter. - ( makes cracking sound ) - But you got to be delicate. I don't think you can redline on this. like I did with the laptops. - No, no, no, this is-- - You want me to hold the bass? Yeah, hold the bass a little bit,

it's gonna be ginger. Now open wide. Here we go. - ( snap ) - Oh, I just broke the--. Oh, basic-- You broke the tooth. - I broke the tooth off. - You broke the tooth, it is still glued. - Let me get lower. - The glue has not failed yet. Oh, it's so brittle. How do I get this off? Maybe some twisting motion? Does that count as the pulling of a tooth. I mean, it's still on there. - I mean, the tooth is still... - Let me try the other one. Let's just see if the-- see if Glue Masters pops off.

Do the same thing. You gotta be scientific. Link: Yeah. I'm gonna start ginger. All right. Ooh, that one's on there. Ooh, that one's on there! - Oh! - That one stayed on there much better. I mean, it did ultimately fail, of course but... - but there's still a tooth on there. - Link: It's still on there. Let me pull this. Gotta get all the parts of the tooth. Look at that, look at that! I can't. Look, I got his freaking lip. Ooh, you pulled the freaking bass lip off.

- Sorry. - Okay, see if you can pull the bass lip. off of that one. We gotta be scientific. Sorry Mr. Bass. Right now Glue Masters are clearly in the lead. - No, I'm just getting-- - Yeah, the tooth is now just coming up. - The tooth is just off. - The tooth is off, uh, completely now. - Uh, Bob, I'm sorry. - Sorry, Bob. And Bass, I'm sorry about your lip. Okay, for our semi-final round, we are going to pre-glue everything. So now we've got previous winners, the Original Super Glue.

And Scotch single use super glue packets. You may not be able to tell but this is Chase. I let my hair grow out. - We have, uh, glued-- - Both: Combs... into his, "hair," and, uh, in the name of science, I'm gonna get behind you. Now, are you going to try to comb through? I'm gonna grasp the combs and I'm just gonna pull. Yeah? I'm gonna see which one I can get out. Okay, easy, just be even about it. And should I hold the hair down? And for those of you wondering, yes, I am symmetrical...

- ( laughs ) - Do you need help? - Chase, hold your own hair. - ...as a person. - Hold my own hair? - Chase, hold your hair down. - Okay. - I'm just gonna--. - I'm just gonna enjoy this. - A lot of tension. Oh, God. Link: Oh, you're pulling down. - ( faint groans ) - ( laughter ). The left one is giving really, really easy. Like-- and I'm stronger with my right hand, but the left one was just coming super, super easy. The right one was just... - Well, there you have it, Scotch. - really, really tight. - You're going out, Scotch. - Yup, Original Super Glue moves on.

( laughs ) The ultimate scientific glue test. - The shoe test. - ( laughs ). We've got our feet glued together. with Starbond on these feet, - and Glue Masters. - Link: On these feets! - On these feets. Okay. - This has been done before. but it's-- it's-- never hurts to do it again, right? Okay, now center your feet. We got some spotters. Uh, you guys, keep our chairs from swiveling. and keep us from dying, please. I feel like I'm in a labor position. It's like the opposite of having a baby. ( hyperventilating ).

I feel like my shoes are gonna come off of yours. Don't do it. Don't let it happen. - Okay. - Three, two, one. Start pull. - ( groaning ) - ( screaming ). ( both screaming and groaning ). Link: Good gosh! Okay, okay. Mine are so close to popping out. - It's a lot. Easier to push in. - Grab the top of your jeans. - Oh, yeah. - ( laughter ). That's good right there okay. - Three... - Both: two, one. ( both grunting and screaming ).

Gah! Ooh! Hold on, listen, man, we gotta, we gotta be on the same page. We gotta redline at the same time, man. ( both screaming and groaning ). Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait! Wait! - Let's push toes together, - Both: and pull heels out. - Okay. - Both: Three, two... - ( both grunting ) - Ah! My-- my--. - Yes! - That didn't work. - Let's grab the laces and then... - Oh, okay. - Pull with your arms. - Okay. And pull your legs. Three...

Both: two, one, pull! ( grunting ) Uh! Gah! I hate these shoes! Your feet are too small. Let's actually grab the top of the shoes. 'Cause we can actually get our hands in there. - All right. - And pull on three, two, one. ( both grunting ). - ( Link growls ) - Rhett: They're coming. - ( Link screaming ) - This one-- first of all, stop. This one's releasing more easily. That's the thing I'm noticing. ( grunting ). - Ah! - Yeah, yeah, okay.

So which one was this? Link left foot. - Starbond. - ( ding ). - Starbond! - Starbond lost. So Glue Masters carries on. Okay, now for the championship round, Original Super Glue... Versus Glue Masters. We have overalls and the straps have been cut at the top. and then glued back together. with their respective glues. We will have weights added to our overalls. - in ten pound increments. - Mm-hmm. And the first overalls to completely fail, both straps is the loser.

- Yes. - Bring in the weights, boys! Starting with ten pounds. You can take, you can take the glue. - Oh, yeah. - Okay. Right there at the front. My straps make--. - Oh! - ( ding ). Ha! Ha! - You just lost. - Okay, it doesn't take much. ( sad trombone ). Ten pounds and my straps failed. Let's see if we can do another ten pounds on you. What a disappointment. I just want to see how strong this, uh, Glue Masters is. Add it on.

Oh! There's one. You lost one strap with 20 pounds. Now we're going up to 30 pounds. Add it over here. - Man. - Rhett: It's still holding! On the Glue Master website, it says, "One Glue to rule them all.". And now we're going up to 40 pounds? ( exhales ) Add it. That strap is still holding. Yeah! It's starting to--. - Fifty pounds! - It's starting to, like, dig a ditch in my shoulder. but who cares. - Oh! - Oh! - It's one of those fifty pounds. - Whoo!

Congratulations, Glue Masters! Get yourself a big bottle of Glue Masters. And stick around to watch me get stuck. to a wall, with super glue. Link: You wanna hear something cool? The newest episode of our podcast, "Ear Biscuits". is out today. Get it on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.