Toothpaste is Poisonous

You should never eat. toothpaste. Or should you? I'm Malcolm. from Rottage, Georgia. Let's talk about. that. [Applause]. Good mythical morning. This episode is. brought to you by the Red Link. community. Join up and then converse. with other mythical beasts and make. mythical creations. Thanks to the many. of you who have already made that. animation of my incredible idea from.

last week, the ramp with the the. elevator/ramp to the UK. You called your. idea incredible. Oh, it's totally. incredible. Especially when I saw it. come to life. Yeah, it is not credible. So, in the in the in the strictest sense. of the word incredible and I think the. animations prove that it is definitely. incredible or noncredible. The. animations made me think that maybe we. should actually make this happen as a. community. So that idea was in was. inspired by mythical perspective. submitted by you people on our Facebook.

and on our Twitter account. And lo and. behold, it's Friday and we're doing it. again. It's an opportunity for you to. dictate the conversation of this episode. of GM or I guess next Friday's episode. by telling us your perspective or. opinion on something. Not a question. A. lot of you are still asking questions. It's not a question then we then answer. It's a your perspective, your opinion. about something, and then we talk about. it as a group. So, if you don't, if you.

format it in the right way, we might use. it in an episode. Let's get it started. with Shannon McDonald. She says, "What's. always bothered me is how there's a D in. fridge, but not. refrigerator." First of all, this is. this is news to me. There is not a. letter D in the word refrigerator. No, see, it's spelled like that. Refri. refrigerator. refrigerator, right? But the word fridge does have it. Okay, she thinks it should be added. Okay, done. It's added. There's now a D.

in refrigerator. At least amongst us. Well, that's how it works in the. postmodern era. You know, we just. declared it to be true. Loosey goosey, whatever you want. However you want to. spell it, as long as when you read it, you can understand it. Mission. accomplished, right? Refrigerator. Refrigerator. If that. happened, a refrigerator would become. someone who reffrigs on a regular basis. But I don't even know what re refris. means. It means to frig again,

right? Friaking. H wow. Freaking. awesome. Nick. Star, uh, he says, "I think that there. needs to be Well, we use this one again. because we use this one because it was. also about refrigerator and he spelled. refrigerator correctly, as in without. the D." Oh, which is now incorrectly. Yeah. Get with the program, Nick. But he. but he sent this before we changed the. rule, but still get with the program, Nick. Tell you know, you should have. foreseen that we were going to add the D.

in this community. Nick says, I think. that there needs to be a refri. refrigerator. Uhhuh. Where you don't. need to take things out to reach the. back. Maybe the inside could be on a. pole and rotate around like those store. displays. But like a lazy Susan. Like my. grandma had a a lady lazy Susan in the. middle of the dining room table and it. was just this like Tupperware looking. piece of plastic and it had salt and. pepper on it but it was about this big.

and I think it was it was supposed to go. in a cabinet but she put it on the table. so that and then it would have the salt. and pepper on it and you would turn it. but it would only save you about a 6 in. of reach. But you don't have to pass the. pepper. You spin the pepper. You spin. the Well, but it was I didn't have the. heart to tell her and I still don't. that. Well, she might be watching. She. She has a computer. Don't you remember? No, this is Nanny. Nanny. Nana has a. computer. N talk all you want about.

nanny. So nanny, I don't want you know. it's supposed to go in the cabinet. because you can't reach around. But on. the table, it doesn't it doesn't really. serve a function. We're talking about it. being salt and pepper in a refrigerator. or being the refrigerator. the. refrigerator. You open the door and the. whole thing is turning. That's a great. idea. It's not very economical. You mean. it as you open the light comes on and it. turns and it's Yeah, it's it's. motorized. That's very excessive and it. doesn't That wastes a lot of energy. I. think you could have the option of. spinning it, but then you've got the.

corners. You have to have like butter. corners and like things that little eggs. could sit on in the corners where the. circle doesn't. for those. You'd push a button and they. would just launch out at you. Like eggs. would be launched like inspector gadget. like on a spring boing. Here's some. eggs. Well, no. They would you'd have to. catch them. So you press the button. So. it's good for ninjas. It's still a good. idea, but just for ninjas. Yeah. Okay. I. like that. The lazy Susan refrigerator. Kevin Hilty says, "I think that there.

should be a toothpaste that contains a. full meal's nutritious value in every. brushful." I think that's the first time. I've ever seen the word brushful. Uh. that way you could eat and brush your. teeth at the same time. It would be. efficient, frugal, and also quite tasty. Now I I love ideas that are efficient, frugal, and tasty. Okay. So Kevin has. got my vote here. You know, he gets the. mythical best award this week. Giving. that out. I have some fundamental issues. with this idea. You don't like it? Well, because in order for it to be tasty, you.

know, think about like hamburger. flavored toothpaste. What I'm doing in. my mouth is I'm getting rid of things. like there's a film and there's tartar. and there's plaque that's on my mouth in. the morning. Right. Well, and there's. also hamburger in your mouth already. No. And so, and then I want to get it. out. So, I want to excise the stuff and. spit it into a sink. I don't want to. excise all this gunk and then be like, you know, it tastes like a hamburger. I'm going to eat all the stuff that I. just removed from my teeth. It seems. nasty to me. Does that make sense to.

you? Yeah. But it but it it's all about. your expectations. It's nasty. It it's. like wanting to get a a a can of Coke, but instead you get a chocolate milk and. you drink it and it's Oh, that's. horrible because you expected a. carbonated beverage. You didn't expect. chocolate milk. But if you knew it was. pizza flavored toothpaste, yeah, pizza. that just doesn't seem like it's. something now. First of all, brushing my. teeth with pizza. That's awesome if. you're expecting it. Did you know? read.

your toothpaste label. It will say if. swallowed, call a physician or call. poison control because there's poison in. toothpaste. And this was news to me. No, there's not. There is poison in. toothpaste. Look it up on your. toothpaste right now. It will say if you. have normal toothpaste with fluoride in. it, it will say if swallowed, call or if. more than a certain amount is swallowed, call someone someone who can help you. like poison control. So when Shepherd. was like on a friend when Shepherd was. like 18 months old, we found him with.

like he had basically been squirting. this stuff like it was Velvita, you know. what I mean? It was I mean he basically. was I found it I found the mint flavored. stuff, you know, and we were like, uhoh, what what are we going to do? Uh I. didn't really think anything of I was. like is toothpaste. And Jesse was like. no cuz you know moms know everything. about this kind of thing. She's like. toothpaste is poison. So we called. poison control. Toothpaste is not. poison. We've called poison control like. seven times between the two children. Uh. but she calls poison control and the. lady's like, "How much did he have?" And.

we're like, "We don't have any idea how. much he had." He's like just sitting. there like a gangster with this thing up. in his mouth. We have no idea. Aquaresh, punk, get out my face. I I'm eating the. Aquaresh. And so I I was like, "Uh, they. call me MC Aquaresh. we have no idea how. much he ate. But she said, "Well, you. need to be on the lookout for the. following signs, like if he starts. having a seizure or if he becomes. unresponsive." I was like, "Yeah, I that. I we'll let you know. We won't call you.

back if that happens. We'll call the. ambulance." But she validated that it is. it is it could be potentially poisonous, but it does give me an idea. But he was. fine. He ended up being fine because I. think you have to get a lot of it in. you. I think gangsters should replace. their gats with toothpaste. Yeah. Yo yo. stay out my face. I'mma I'mma get you. with my Aquaresh blah blah blah. Just. squirt I'll squirt the squirt the. toothpaste in your face. Yo, don't you. be swallowing that. Hey, I wouldn't be I.

wouldn't be intimidated by that. I'm a. This is my gangster. I'm a gangster. I'm. a gangster with toothpaste. Luke Miller. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And we're going to. close out with Luke Miller. He says, "My. mythical p my mythical perspective. They. should genetically make pocket-sized. dogs or cats." Huh. They've already done. that. They're called. hamsters. No. No. This is a good idea. Like I might want a little a little like. a a little miniatureized kitten in my.

pocket. Well, first of all, they're. they're already actively doing this. Don't you realize that they've already. made they've made dogs and cats as small. as they can be and they're continually. trying to make them smaller. I mean, they try to make them really big, too. That's what a great DNE is. They they. that's not normal. They. genetically engineered these things. Well, they bred them, you know. So, you're saying they've gotten as small as. they can get? That's your I think. there's I don't know what the smallest. dog in the world is, but it the point of. it was to be was this this guy's idea.

It's not original. It's they made it as. small as it can be. If you want to go. smaller, you got to get like a hamster. This is This is not This is not the. place to say what what and what isn't. possible. I just think or even. plausible. I just say it it's awesome. But you get them too small. Freaking. awesome. If you get them too small, they. can't they can't even function, you. know? Just like if you get them too big, well, a hamster is not a small a small. dog. It's an actual different animal. I. was joking. Oh, but the problem with. small pets in general is they get lost. I My first pet ever was a hamster,

Pokey. And Pokey got lost for four weeks. inside our own house. And we found him. in my sleeping bag and he was eating. pieces of the the liner of the sleeping. bag to survive. I guess there's some. nutritional value in it. But we found. him and we put him back in his cage and. he was I've heard I've heard that it's. poisonous. But I mean poison control. If. you have a pocketized cat poison control. my my hamster Pokey ate my sleeping bag. I don't think there's not a pet poison. control. Well, there probably is. Actually, there should be. Should be. But if you got a pocket-sized cat,

you'll like put them in the laundry by. accident. You know what I mean? That's. the problem. They get too small and you. begin misplacing them. It's like, "Oh, I. left." It's not like you left a dollar. bill in your pants. You left your cat in. your pants and then he gets washed. But. that but then then people would be. losing all types of small animals like. hermit crabs all the time. You don't. lose your hermit crab. But you don't you. don't carry her You don't pet hermit. crabs. Yeah, you do. Like you pet a cat. But you pocket cat. You could pocket. cat. That'll be a meme. Pocket Cat. Let's spin the wheel. Submit your.

perspective on Twitter. #GMM or on our Facebook page. Perspective, opinion, not a question. See, the gangsters would eat they would. eat the toothpaste to prove that they. were impervious to poison and then they. blat it at you as a. weapon. Sad face, happy ending. We look sad, but we say things that are. It's like patting your I can't do this.

kind of thing. Patting your head and. rubbing your tummy, which is hard to do. First of all, it's difficult for me to. look sad. This has been the best. This. has been the best experience of my life. I'm so happy right now to shared this. with you. I'm just hearing these hearing. these perspectives brings a joy to my. soul. We seem like we're moved to tears. instead of just being sad. I'm so happy. All I can do is say I'm.

happy and then I'm overjoyed. See you next week. [Music]. [Applause]. [Music].