The World's Biggest Liar

today's episode is about fire breathing. dragons let's talk about. [Music]. that good mythical morning thank you for. making us a part of your daily routine. the answer is yes and thank you for. being a liar now a lying's not good but. listen we all do it okay so let's just. be honest with ourselves about lying. occasionally hopefully nothing more than. Little White Lies but I don't want to.

into all of that what I do want to get. into is I have discovered that there is. an official world's biggest liar. competition held annually every November. in Cumbria England ah yes competitors. from around the world each take five. minutes to tell their best lie basically. a tall tell and then there's a a panel. of Judges that decide who is the world's. biggest liar for that particular year. now um there's there's rules involved. there's no script and you cannot be a.

politician or a lawyer this is true they. are not allowed to enter the competition. because quote they are judged to be too. skilled at telling pories porkys porkys. I guess is a lie or maybe they're lying. about what porkys means it's that's what. I call a a pig in a blanket okay so they. hold a competition we can't go but we. can hold our own little mini competition. here and you can be the judge um we're. each going to take a few minutes and. tell a tall tale you let us know who is.

the best liar I'm ready okay I'll let. you go first uh you lie to your kids a. lot I do so you're practiced at this I. lie to you all the time too you just. don't know it I do know it junior year. in college I'm working alone in the. basement of man Hall the civil. engineering building and I am in uh the. hydrology demonstration lab where the. hydrology demonstration tank is okay. it's just basically a metal tank uh that. can be tilted and has water in it.

and I'm in there late at night working. on a lab project by myself my group had. left and I hear voices coming from what. seems like the tank but I'm in the. basement and there's nobody else in the. basement there's no vents that I can see. anything coming from it seems like. there's voices coming from the tank and. I think maybe I'm just this is late at. night something's going on I go up to it. and I'm like distinctly I can hear. people talking and it sounds like it's. coming from the metal I put my ear up to. the metal tank which is attached to the. wall itself and I hear a voice that I. recognize.

Ravi Patel nuclear engineering major who. was in my Suite who's a sweet. mate and I'm like what are they talking. about because he's not using his name. he's calling him something weird I can't. quite make it out I listened for a while. and it sounds like they're having. they're talking in some kind of code and. having almost like a secret society type. meeting and I'm like and I listen and. then eventually they walk away and I'm. like I have no idea where they're at I. go back the next night same thing over. the next couple of weeks I begin to put. together these details.

I figure out that these guys are meeting. and something I had heard about in. rumors that there's an underground. network of tunnels underneath a campus. built in the. 1800s and they are in the this. underground network of tunnels and they. are something called the left brain. Society they call themselves The Left. Brain society and I found out through. listening to these conversations that. they had uh figured out a way to hack. the University's internet and to change. grades and they also figured out a way. to hack into the nuclear reactor. controls in the Burlington Labs you know. the nuclear reactor that's on State's.

campus yeah so I'm like I've never. wanted to be something a part of. something so bad in my life so I decide. I'm going to confront Robbie one night I. go into his his room I said Ravi I know. about the left brain society and I want. in and if you don't let me in I'm going. to go public and he was like dude we. were about to approach you and ask you. to be a part of. this I can't tell you about the. initiation process I can't tell you. about the initiation process I can't. tell you about the different access. points to the underground Network. because those things I was sworn to. Secret about but I can tell you that.

this is one of the major reasons that I. never went to class my Junior and Senior. year but I made Straight. A's it's also the reason that there was. that um episode of the nuclear reactor. almost melting down yeah was because we. had the ability to cut off the cooling. mechanism to the reactor and we would do. it and we would wait and right at the. last second we would reverse the control. Just for kicks left brain Society so. have you violated some some terms by. telling even this much of the story it's.

disbanded it's disbanded yeah I. disbanded it by telling the story no. last year H I don't think I ever told. you the story of when I was on the set. of Saturday Night Live oh I had heard of. this one back in. 2008 um we had made our documentary. looking for Miss loer and it got a place. in a film festival in New York remember. you couldn't go but I took Christie and. we went to this thing and there was a. there was a screen there but listen. here's the thing nobody was there and.

the projectionist came up to me after he. felt sorry he was like Hey I feel sorry. for you nobody's here don't feel bad. it's a small Film Festival don't care. but and and you may think I'm making fun. of the way he talks no but he just. talked like he was doing a bad. impression of of a New Yorker yeah and. it's so it's it's pretty spoton if I. must say so myself so he he said you. know what to Cher you up I know a friend. of a friend I'mma give you some tickets.

to guess what Saturday Night Live and I. mean growing up we love Saturday Night. Live so much we'd always talk about it. on Sundays we would obsess over it so. this is kind of like a dream come true. so Christian and I get to go I'm like. this is a big deal for me so we go to. this thing we go that night we go to 30. Rock 30 Rockefeller Center you have to. take a train under there to get to it. underground train specifically for SNL. to go there um something about light. control I I don't know uh they don't. like the sunlight get in because they. shoot it during the day even though they. say it's live and it's at night I don't.

know it's all a farce so we get in there. uh Mike Myers is the host and he was. promoting I think the movie uh The Love. Guru something Guru like that I didn't. see the movie but that's why he was. there he was no longer on the cast he. was coming back to promote his movie and. I mean the thing going he does the. opening number with a song and. everything and I'm really into it uh. having the time in my life and then they. cut to Commercial and everything takes a. little bit longer it's not like I said. it's not live it's just it's taped.

before a live studio audience oh that's. something I. learned they go to a break and then I. can see that they're not coming back and. they're they're trying to get stuff. straight and everything's ready for this. for the next skit but they're not going. to it they're not going to it and then. the producer comes out and says we have. to make an announcement um we can't do. the next sketch the biggest one of the. night because the co-star did not show. up they were going to do a throwback to. Wayne's.

world yeah a sketch with Mike Myers and. Dana Carvey coming back yeah said Dana. missed his flight really he could not do. it and the producer says listen nobody. wants to step in and play the part of G. because let's face it I mean it's a. really famous part no none of the other. SNL players would want to step into that. role and step on Dana carvey's shoe uh. Step On His Feet step into his shoes. right whatever the case may be I'll give. you some tickets if you can figure that. out yeah so the produc is looking around. with an apologetic look on her face.

until she makes eye contact with me and. listen I I get in in the comments a lot. I know you're you already know where. this story is going why because you and. everybody else says I look like G from. Wayne's World yeah and I knew from the. look on the producer's face she was. thinking the same thing and you know. it's like the blood left my body I was. immediately nervous but I was like. Christie I have to do this really I have. to do this and so I just went up there I.

knew what she was going to ask I just so. I walked up there they set me up in the. blond wig and the black glasses really. and I meet Mike Myers and we're doing. the sketch and I only have one line. which is great you know I'm not good at. remembering lines yeah right my one line. was if she if she was the president. she'd be babraham Lincoln and that. that's the only thing I had to remember. and when they got to that part they kept. doing it again and again and I was like. I this is lie why do they keep doing it. again again they weren't happy with my. performance or something and but.

eventually I got it and like Mike was. like you nailed it man thanks so much. for doing this and then I went back up. into the crowd and I watched the rest of. the thing and everyone was like looking. at me and they were like wow that's. never happened before and then uh a few. weeks later why no I guess it was the. next within the next week is when they. air the episode yeah and you on it I. wasn't they cut the sketch entirely. that's why you never see me on Saturday. Night Live and why I've never told. anybody because I mean I I I consider it.

a personal failure uh and it's not the. type of thing I want to talk about I. mean it's not a lie it's just that I'm. not comfortable sharing it with. everybody because I mean I blew my. chance that's sad link but I I'll share. it with you today for no good reason but. also not. true no it's it's true I have I have I. have the. tapes. okay uh I hopefully you didn't believe. either one of those stories but. hopefully you wanted to believe one more. than the other let us know which one it.

was in the comments below you know what. time it is my name is William I'm 3. years old and it's time to spend the way. of Kelly it's Friday and that means. we're releasing another episode of our. podcast ear biscuits this week's special. guest is Natalie Tran of Community. Channel yeah listening to ear biscuit. click through to gouth gore we have this. apparatus that shocks our hands when we. administer the lie detector test to each. other Good Mythical m. click.

through Rhett thinks sorry link thinks. Rhett is a juice. box I'm so thirsty whoa whoa whoa whoa. whoa whoa what are you looking at what. are you looking at. who oh wait hey whoa whoa what you. looking for my. straw cantaloupe juice in there you. looking for my straw that's right here. man what it's right here talking juice. box with a straw yeah don't hey just. just kidding that was was it going to go. all the.

[Music]. way that wasn't even. true. no.