Tasting The Internet's Worst Food Crimes

- We're trying the internet's worst food crimes again. Let's talk about that. (groovy mythical music). - Gooooood Mythical Morning. - The internet is full of crazy food creations. and we are no strangers to it. - Mmm. - But while some crazy food creations are pretty tasty, like pancake cereal... - Oh yeah. - Others are just downright criminal. - And it's been a while since we've policed these streets.

so what new crimes have been committed in the meantime. and can we decide which ones are the worst offenses? - It's time for "Food Crimes.". Don't cook the crime (graphic whooshes). if you can't do the time. (graphic whooshes). (rock music). - [Megan] Okay, your first bizarre matchup. is banana slices with guacamole on top from Reddit user. OneTinSoldier567. - [Rhett] Okay. - [Megan] And just good old plain chicken. and cottage cheese from Reddit user. GGTheEnd. - [Rhett] Okay.

- [Megan] You're gonna try each one. and then use your flags to guess which one. the mythical beasts voted on for the bigger food crime. - Okay. - So these are just really. simple food combos. - Yeah, but this is mushy upon mushy. - Now I will say, just a little context for this one, the caption from the original poster says, "My nurse says this is a food crime.". Which may lead you to ask a question, which... A question that was asked by one commenter was, "Are you pregnant?". To which the OP responded, "No, but I'm in a hospital for hitting my head.".

(mythical crew laughs). - Oh, okay so this is a... - So this. is potentially a concussed person's. sort of fever dream - Yes, a head injury meal. Let's... Let's go on with an open mind though. - Okay, you're going in. - Sometimes when you... people who've hit their head, they like... - Make discoveries. - They can play a concerto. - Newton. - Yeah. - The apple hit his head. - I mean, Christie hit her head and decided. she didn't want to teach the kids anymore. - Great for her. (Rhett chews mushy food).

- Mmm. Mm hmm... - I love it. - The consistencies are so similar, but then different enough. It's like two snotty, consistent foods. - Which I don't mind that. I don't mind snotty. From a taste standpoint, you... - [Link] It's not bad. - [Rhett] So the banana you have... If you think about if you eat like a... - It's weird. - ... Cuban meal. and you've got the plantains, - Okay. - Like the fried plantains, and I like, when I'm eating, I like to mix that sort of... - Yeah.

- Any sort of like Latin America type taste. mixed with a banana, is not something... That's not... That's not crazy. That kind of makes sense. - If it were a fried plantain... - If it was fried, it would be... - That would be better. - If it was fried, it would be inc... It wouldn't just be better. - That would... - I think that would be great. because I honestly like the flavors. - You're on the precipice of something here. Tell your nurse. (mythical crew giggles). - Don't bring your little fryer into the hospital. You can't do that. - I don't like it as it is,

but I think we're so close that it could be so good. Over here, we've done what... (chuckles) You know... - They said it couldn't be done. - People like to put cottage cheese in things. because of the protein. I like to put cottage cheese in things. because... - Yeah, this feels like. something you'd be excited about. - I love cottage cheese. - And I have this type of just like loose chicken. in my fridge all the time. We use it for treating the dogs. and I... for treating this dawg sometimes too. I tell ya, I go in there and just sit there.

and eat half of that container. - Well, I mean, I'll add cottage cheese to something. - [Rhett] They're both slimy. (forks clink) - Hmm. - Pepper would send this... - [Link] Salt. - ...to the moon. - Cottage cheese is... it's... if you like it, then you pretty much like it with everything. So we're saying neither one of these is an actual crime. - I would do both of these. - These are food gateways. Sometimes you gotta be willing to commit a crime.

in order to discover. that you don't need to live a life of crime. - And just so I... - You can sub more... You can just be a chef. - Right, this is a way to get subversive things out. It's a purge of sorts. Is there a way? Actually, did the people see the picture. that we're seeing, like from Reddit? Are they? Or did they hear it described? They saw the picture as well? - [Link] 'Cause that picture. of the cottage cheese chicken is scary. - They're both off-putting. - I think I have to vote for this one. - Okay, well, I thought we were going to count down,

but I was also going to vote for that one. - Oh, you were? - [Megan] Three two one. (Megan and crew laugh) - Sorry. Three, two, one. - [Megan] This was actually... It was a close one. (graphic whoosh) 55 percent. of the mythical beasts thought. that plain chicken (ding). and cottage cheese was the bigger food crime. (graphic whoosh away). - Too much whiteness in that picture is a nightmare. - There's something going for this, especially if you mash 'em and fry 'em. I think you've got an actual dish. - Cubans, are you listening? - The door is open. (mythical crew laughs). (screen shift whoosh). - This portion of today's episode. is sponsored by Revolut and Visa.

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is bad enough when I travel, but buying a rare record from Europe. and then getting slapped. with a surprise foreign transaction fee. on my bank statement? - Oh. - Pure pain. - Well, I'm usually just focused. on how to say "Good Mythical Morning" in the local language, so I got no time for math. - Oh. All right, the Revolut Visa prepaid card. gives you a multi-currency account. so you can exchange, hold, and spend in over 25 currencies. No mental math needed. - [Rhett] That means you can skip. those airport kiosks entirely.

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It's the peanut butter and jelly. and buffalo style tuna sandwich from ElectricalSeason358. versus the peanut butter and jelly. between two fried egg sandwich from MistaGinga93? (laughs). - We have entered... - Mistah Gingah. - We have definitely entered food crime territory. These are both crimes. (mythical crew laughs). This one, there's a mul... There's multiple crimes. The first crime is whatever the heck is happening.

with the peanut butter and jelly side. We just tried to recreate what we saw, which is just a dollop and upon a dollop. - Yeah, I think their peanut butter. came out of one of those squeeze things. - Do you want me to... - Yes, spread. - Spread? - Yeah. We wannna... We wannna make sure. that there's peanut butter in every single bite. (Megan laughs). Who... Well, I mean... - That's a lot of peanut butter, too. - It's not, not that rationality is required. to get to a point like this, but why?

I mean, like, is there some sort of... - Okay and then cover it up. - Is it that there was tuna. on a... on a open sandwich and then beside it. there was a PB&J on an open sandwich. and then they got... there was an earthquake? So I... - There is. no explanation for this one. Uh, there was no like, "I'm in the hospital. I recently had a head injury.". So there's no excuse for this, other than this is just. this person's prerogative. - [Link] Okay. - [Rhett] But it's high in protein.

- [Megan] I was gonna say maybe they were making a PB&J. and then said not enough protein... - Yeah. - [Megan] ...and then. grabbed the tuna. - Right. - Hot buffalo tuna. - It's actually not nearly as nasty. as I thought it was gonna be because of the hot sauce. The hot sauce on the... - Oh, really? It's the peanut butter that's saving me. - Oh, the peanut butter for... I didn't even need to say that. I'm saying the tuna being... (Link coughs). - It's not bad tasting.

It's just off-putting! - The tuna is... The tuna is not as offensive. because it isn't just straight-up tuna flavor. It's got that hot sauce in it. (Link sighs) So you're tasting like... Now I'm tasting like the fish flavor. in my mouth later, which is not great. - I don't want this in my life. I don't want this in my mouth. - I would never do this on purpose, maybe by accident. And it's definitely a food crime. - Ugh goll. - I'm slightly offended, just not as offended as I thought I was gonna be. - Ugh. - Now... - Cottage cheese.

on a PB&J, I'd do that. - Fried eggs... (Megan laughs). People will do PB&J like weird PB&J burgers. and they'll put a fried egg on there. - [Link] And there's the dollop of... How do you even spread? You know, it's like... How do you spread? - Careful now. - I wanna spread this out. Be careful of what? You don't want me to burst that? - [Rhett] I mean, it's gonna happen when I cut into it, but I know how gross you'll think that is. - I know, but you tried to get me into that, right? So...

- Well I don't feel like I tried. - So if we just do that? - Okay, that feels different. - Just like... - Just get ya a nice piece. (Link sighs). (mythical crew laughs). I'll do it. - I... I just don't... I don't like messing with peanut butter on stuff. I just don't wanna start associating something I love... (Rhett grunts). ... with such a... - Oh, it's so cold. - ... something I don't love. (Megan giggles). - Oh, this is gonna be hard. (Link's fork scrapes).

- I just don't... I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm scared. - It's not good. (Link gags). Um... - I just... I don't even like a fried egg. It grosses me out. Ugh. - Um. (Link spits). Hmm. - Um... Texture disqualification. Outta here. I think a fried egg has every type of texture that I hate.

The runny, it looks raw and it looks like. it's part of a reproductive process. Um, and then you've got... - The egg part? - Yes, and then you've got. this part... - Hold on. Let's just... - ... that's like really hard and crunchy. and stringy and see-through and it looks like... You know those boxes, hazmat boxes. that they have the gloves built into 'em? So when you put your... If you wanna handle it, you put your hands. through the gloves, which are attached to the box.

and then you're... - The clear plastic thing? - You're touching stuff inside of the box. - Yeah, okay. - That's where fried eggs should be, inside of that gloved box. - Backing up a few steps, I would like to take issue. with something you said. You said, quote, "It's part of a reproductive process.". (mythical crew laughs). May I point out that all food. is a part of a reproductive process, literally every food, including all plants. I mean... - What? But not...

- It's some stage - But not the part. - of the reproduction process. - You're saying the fruit of a plant is a... is a... a penis? (mythical crew giggles). - Well, an egg's not a penis. I'm just saying that every single thing that we eat. has been a result. of a reproductive process. - But it's not... But this is the... This is the reproduction. - [Megan] Do we wanna vote? - Yeah, we do. (Megan laughs). - I hate this. - This just a reminder that the loser of this. has to eat a food crime made by the Mythical Kitchen.

So be careful. - Okay. - [Megan] Ready? Three, two, one. - You know. I'm going for this. Are you? - I think that... - These are both... - I think that more people are gonna think. that the tuna is really nasty. - What did y'all vote for? (graphic whoosh) - [Megan] 79 percent. of the mythical beasts thought that. the PB&J buffalo style tuna (ding). was the bigger food crime. - Yeah. - I could see. how you might think that. There was no picture associated with this. - Ironically, I think... - Now that I've talked to you, I may want to change my mind. - I think the eggs are worse. - Thank you for saying that.

- Something about this kind of worked. - So we were wrong because you were wrong. - Oh, we? I was correct. (mythical crew chuckles). - Yeah, you were. - Yeah. I mean, I have my own flag, Link. (graphic whooshes and rock riff). - [Megan] Next, we have two creations, both from the same Reddit user, Queasy_Dingo_8262. We have imitation crab and pumpkin pie spice. going up against cherry jello and garlic powder. - Now there is an explanation for this one. - Queasy. - From the Queasy Dingo.

- [Link] Okay. - [Rhett] Somebody said, "What inspired you to try this?". They said, "Was looking for the garlic seasoning. "and grabbed pumpkin instead.". Went, "What the hell? I'll try it.". - Okay, garlic seasoning on imitation crab. Okay. I guess. - Cinnamon. - But this... This is just... - Pumpkin pie spice, which is mostly all right. - And the way... - Cinnamon. is the number one ingredient in pumpkin pie spice. - Nobody just eats imitation crab on a plate.

with garlic seasoning. - Well this... I... I kind of wanna just have imitation crab by itself. and just see what is it? Like, what's happening there? - [Link] Uh, do you really want to know? I think it's... - [Megan] It's typically pollock. - Pollock. - So a fish. - [Megan] Yeah, so they take pollock... - No, a famous painter. (Link and mythical crew laugh). - They're still... They're still... They're cloning him (Link laughs). to this day. - Did you like it? I like it in things. - It actually tastes fine. - Does it need a little... - I was thinking maybe it needs a little pumpkin spice.

- A little pumpkin spice. 'Tis the season. (Link munches). - Everything that was working. about the straight-up fake crab. is no longer working for me. Like this is something. that shoulda stayed in your brain. Sometimes... Sometimes when you say, "What the hell? I'll try it,". you should just... Go, "What the hell? I won't try it.". - What the hell no? - Um this is... There's nothing complimentary about these two flavors.

- No, no, no. (Rhett clears throat). - Well, the interesting thing (Link shudders). about yours is that in this case, they actually found at least the garlic sauce. - Yeah, then they got the garlic powder, instead of putting it on that, they put it in the cherry jello? - Uh, please use the spoon for that. - Caption says, "Not bad.". I'm gonna... - No, no, no, no, it's... - I'm gonna mix it up. - Yeah, but you've got imitation crab on that. - Oh, okay. - Come on, man. Give it a chance. - Understood. So you want me to... - Give it a chance. - Do you... I mean, they have it sprinkled on the top.

- But we're assuming they mixed it. You can mix it. I mean, it's not a pot pie or anything. I'm not gonna be super offended by it. - I don't wanna... It doesn't mix well. - It's like a parfait. - Yeah, so now you. get some of that. - I can smell it. - This is just a troll. - This is troll. Very trolly stuff. - This is the same person doing both of these. The only person who's ever tasted this is us. Like Queasy has won. Queasy is so happy right now.

- Queasy got what they wanted. - Like... (mythical crew laughs). - This smells awful. (Rhett and Link chew). (mythical crew chuckles). You know when you have so much garlic. that it's hot and spicy? (Link spits and gags). - God. Yeah, it's like stings. It's stinging my tongue. - That is awful. Man! - And something about the... God. Something about... - Why you gotta bring God into it? - Ow. (mythical crew giggles). (Link coughs and gags).

- This one's harder to eat. - That is so bad. - Let me put this. in perspective. - Oh my gosh. - The way I'm going to cleanse my palate. is by eating imitation crab. (mythical crew laughs). - Which is kind of tasteless, but because it - Nothing quite like it. - is manufactured to have a particular texture, as a texture guy, I gotta give it to the imitation crab people. You've done it. You've done it. - I wanna go. to the imitation crab factory. Do they build a whole crab? (mythical crew laughs). Do they build a whole crab? - There's imitation crab shells. They cut it.

- I mean, how does it work? I'm so curious. - All right, let's vote. - [Megan] You ready? Three, two, one. - This is the one that y'all thought. was gonna be worse. - See but really though? - 67 percent (graphic whoosh). of the mythical beasts thought. that the cherry jello (ding). and garlic powder - Ohhh. - [Megan] was the bigger food crime. - Yes. - And you are correct. - And I got more points this round. - It is, it is way worse. in reality. - Beautiful. Get our newest mythical society collectible, the Good Mythical Morning Snow Globe, now.

- Become an all-access quarterly or annual member. to unlock this collectible, an exclusive discount on tickets. to "A Very Mythical Holiday Special" and more. - Mythicalsociety.com. (graphic whooshes, rock riff). - [Megan] I don't wanna introduce this one, but... it's a drinkable cheeseburger (Rhett chuckles). from Reddit user Thekingoftheplanets. versus canned smoked oysters, burrata cheese and chili crisp. from Reddit user Bwunny0h0h. who noted that they eat this concoction with tortilla chips.

So we get a cheesy round for ya. - Oh my God. - I mean, listen, you might think the King of the Planets. doesn't have time for something like this. (mythical crew laughs). But he does. He does. He's got time to make a drinkable cheeseburger. And when asked, "How does it taste?" he responded, "Like a delicious drinkable cheeseburger.". It just sort of exists on its own. It is self-explanatory. And it's also been called a food felony by one comment. - Ooh. Did he say what the ingredients were?

- Probably a cheeseburger. - It smells good. I mean, what did you put in ours? - [Nicole] They had a bullion cube, some slices of American cheese, a McDonald's burger, and a huge vat. of what I think is salad cream or mayonnaise? - Salad cream? - [Nicole] I used mayonnaise. - Okay, King of the Planets. (Rhett and Link gulp).

It is. It's a drinkable cheeseburger. - Very accurate. (mythical crew laughs). - I mean, because I was gonna say. it just tastes like drinking cheese, but it tastes like drinking. a cheeseburger. - A burger. Yes. I can taste that burger in there. - This would be good in space. - Well, the King of Planets has to go. from planet to planet. - Yeah. - Often he's in space. - Because it would come out in a glob, then it'd float. (slurps).

and you would just suck it down. Or you could dehydrate it and make it like space ice cream. - And it is very McDonald's. Burger - I like it. And it's so easy. This is what I want. If they have to... If I break my jaw... - Oh. - I want. Nicole, I want you to remember this. Okay? - If they break your jaw. - [Nicole] Okay. - If they finally succeed. at breaking your jaw. Hey, if it wasn't in a cup that I had to sip, but it was in a bowl and you called it queso. - Or you called it soup and you just use. a spoon. - [Link] Or soup.

I mean, we have chips to go with this. - Cheeseburger soup is probably a thing already. - I think the chips would work with that and make it better. This is so scary to me. Canned smoked oysters, burrata cheese and chili crisp. It looks gross, but it's really good. And they eat it with chips. So I'm gonna do that. - It's really the oysters of it all though. I mean, and canned oysters, which I think is mostly. for like putting into other recipes. It's like... - I just... I just don't wanna... I'm not gonna like an oyster,

but chili crisp and burrata, that's good. - [Rhett] Let me get a little burrata. - I mean, the good news about this one. is that I believe that we're not being trolled. This is someone who, like, you can tell. that they've already eaten some of it. It's a snack. - [Rhett] It's just. It's a snacky snack. - [Link] They're in bed eating this. 'cause where else would you eat? - [Link] Yeah. - [Rhett] That's on a... That's on a comforter right there. - Are you in a bed like in a boat? - Wow, this canned smoked oyster. That is strong.

- Ugh. Try again. (Rhett munches). - The chili crisp helps. - Not a great start to the day. - You're gonna... You're gonna have a tough time with it. I know it. - I don't really want... I don't really want all of that. - As soon as you get it in your mouth, though, just remember you have a drinkable cheeseburger over here. You can get right back in. (Link crunches). (Link gags). (mythical crew murmurs). - Crab. - Oh, I hate it. - Yeah. - And now... - I'm on Team Cheeseburger. - Why... Oh gosh. I mean, looking into what I've put into that trash can.

and the smells coming out of it. (mythical crew chuckles). Like it's a... Ugh. I'm a victim. I'm a victim of the food crimes today. (Rhett chuckles). Oh my gosh. - All right. Well, here's where we're at, Link. I have to vote differently than you. because you're in the lead, right?. - [Mythical Crewman] Yeah. - [Megan] Mm hmm. - And this is the last round, so this is up to you. I'm gonna... Whatever you vote, I'm just gonna hope you're wrong. - Yeah, this is good. This is good. I gotta vote this. - So I have to vote this.

- Especially on a chip. (Link crunches and munches). - [Megan] Okay. - Cheeseburger dip. Great. - [Megan] 67 percent (graphic whoosh). of the mythical beasts... - Only 67? - 67% of the mythical beasts. thought that the... drinkable cheeseburger (ding). was the bigger food crime. - Yes! Yes, you're wrong. - What? - But you're so right! (mythical crew chuckles). - [Megan] Which means, Link, you have to eat. this Poseidon cereal food crime. made by the mythical kitcheneers. - Poseidon's cereal? - [Megan] Poseidon cereal made of bitter gourd juice, blue spirulina, flying fish roe and raw tuna.

- Oh wow. (mythical crew laughs). That's way worse than anything that we've had so far. (mythical crew laughs). I love that I don't have to eat it. - [Link] Oh my gosh. - Wow, that's a lot of roe. (mythical crew laughs). Ugh, wow, we're really kicking him when he's down, guys. (Link groans). - [Megan] Eat it. - Ugh. Yeah, you can do it. You can do it. It's all good for you. And it's part of the reproductive process.

(mythical crew jeers). (Link murmurs and gags). Oh God. What was that noise? (mythical crew laughs and mocks). We gotta edit that out. (Link laughs). - I don't know. - Wait, was that talking? (Link murmurs and gags slow motion). - Oh God. - Were you trying to say something? (all laugh). - I was, um... I'm holding my nose. (Rhett grunts) and I was... (Link groans). - I'm never gonna forget that sound. (mythical crew laughs). - I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

- Thank you, mythical beasts. - It's just... I was... I'm... The, the eggs are like... They're popping in my mouth and I can't let go of my nose. I just can't taste this. - Okay, well, - Like I can't. - You can keep holding it. - You know what time it is? (Rhett laughs). - Sure. - To be our mythical best? - You know what time it is. - Hi, I'm... (each says their name). and we're making lollies. It's time to spin the wheel of mythicality. Dink it and sink it. (group groans and giggles). - Wow. (wheel of mythicality whirs). - We know how you feel. - But I don't really know what lollies are.

Like a lollipop? What is that? - I don't know. Making lollies. Anybody know what that is? I'm sure someone in the comments does. Okay, here's the deal, guys. We have a very incredible episode. that we want you to come back for tomorrow. We're calling it "Does Food Taste Better If You Steal It?". (mythical crew chuckles). - Join us in "Good Mythical More". to see us judge new ideas for the purge. - Join all-access to unlock.

our Good Mythical Morning Snow Globe at mythicalsociety.com.