Squirrel Attacks My Son

my son was recently attacked by a. squirrel and I feel partially. responsible I'm Julian from Russia let's. talk about. [Music]. [Applause]. this good mythical morning today's. episode is brought to you by culas the. guys with the goods including the Big. Bubba wide mouth that's for those of you. who prefer to drink out of a mason jar. but sometimes you like to do it in a. sophisticated Manner and this one is. stemware that's nice link should drink. out of that.

daily I will had a bit of a tragedy. recently my son my 8-year-old son. lock was uh I want to say viciously. attacked because it sounds more. Sensational but he was attacked by a. squirrel viciously let's just say it uh. in an episode I don't know an EP a. previous episode of Good Mythical. Morning we talked about the fact that. there was a squirrel that came in your. house and ate a sandwich and then your. wife called 911 yeah it's all very. confusing but.

it's the same squirrel the same squirrel. the authorities showed up but they. couldn't track down the squirrel and now. it's reappeared the authorities didn't. show up we we we we squelched the whole. you were there you you've heard the. story they didn't show up you're just. playing along as if you don't know the. facts yeah playing a good uh co-host. yeah so but so what so he gets bit. viciously or just attacked he was. actually with your kids he was with. don't blame don't bring my kids into. this I well I I don't know I wasn't. there I didn't witness the entire thing. but Lily and Lincoln were also there.

okay and apparently uh lot calls the. squirrel squirrly that's what he calls. the squirrel and he was petting squirrly. because the squirrel has gotten very. friendly and he now goes and pets the. squirrel so you go from being afraid and. calling 911 to naming it and petting it. I didn't go anywhere my son did okay so. he he's an 8-year-old he does these. things I don't have any control over him. so he he pets squirly often or was this. the first time no he has pet him uh is. it petted he has petted him uh several.

times and this is the one time the. squirly turned on him he said he he grab. like hold out your finger he said he. actually grabbed it and bit down on it. he he grabbed hold of it with both PWS. and bit down on it really he so he. thought it was another peanut butter. sandwich I just thought you know I think. that squirly thought he was being fed or. something or maybe there's something. maybe there's something maybe there's. something in there I really think that. you're going to bite my finger I could. uh but don't but then okay I'll call 911. so I first did you hear a scream where.

were you I was in a kitchen okay so you. were close by and uh you weren't making. a peanut butter sandwich no it wasn't. and so lock and the kids run in and. they're all laughing first of all. they're all laughing he's like Dad. squirly bit me he like he knows that. he's like this is impressive he's not. like oh squirly baby daddy he comes in. and he's excited about this he just he. well he wasn't still dangling on his. finger was he no the squirrel had. released okay squirrel bit it was a bite. and release the call it in Squirrel.

Kingdom and uh he released and then I. look at it and I'm like and of course. Jesse's freaking out she's not calling. 911 but she's freaking out a little bit. she was thinking about it because she's. worried about infection and all this. kind of thing but I I look at it and. it's it's not that serious of a thing I. mean the the the front teeth came down. just above the fingernail so kind of hit. bone didn't go in very deep and then it. kind of just broke the skin a little bit. on the underside so it was really like. an experimental bite it was like is that. food no it's not food and back and.

backed away but you said that you think. that you might be partially to blame. well this uh if if you've been a fan. you've been whispering to squirrel. saying hey bite my son I did not. encourage it but if you've been a fan of. ours for a while you know that uh a. couple years ago we made a song called. the squirrel right song in which I made. some squirrel noises like. this very. convincing if you don't have squirrels. in your neck of the then trust me this.

is exactly what squirrels sound like. that's exactly what they look. like so I'm pretty good at this as you. could tell it's it's it's one of my many. talents but it's what the one I am the. best at is making squirrel noises and I. actually communicate with squirrel. sometimes in fact squirrly whenever I go. outside and do that he looks at me and I. know you're trying to tell me something. but I don't know the language well. enough yet to actually communicate real. truths to him mhm but I do get him to. respond a little bit so you think you.

had told him without knowing to bite. your for years Lo has tried to make the. squirrel noises and he cuz I I used to. do this joke where I'd be driving along. in the car and I would act like there. was a squirrel in my lap and he was in. the back seat in his car seat and he. couldn't see and I'd be like here he. just he's on my lap and he would be like. Dad there's a squirrel and so I had him. convinced there was a squirrel on my lap. while I drove and he couldn't see it and. then it would get out when I got out of. the car you're proud of that and then. he's like Dad how did you make those. noises I said well I was bitten by a. squirrel as a child oh so oh so that's.

why he was so excited he thought it's. kind of like Spider-Man getting bit by. the by the radioactive spider yeah he. thought that yes finally I've gotten. squirly to bite me he's going to have. the ability and he actually told me. yesterday he was like Dad he's like. comes out he's like he's like it's kind. of sort of making sort of a weak he's. like I'm getting better at it now ever. since squirly bit me I'm I'm getting. better at it huh now did you take any.

photos of the squirrel biting your son. you said you weren't there I did not I. did you take miss the opportunity you. take any photos of the aftermath no I. was not concerned at all I didn't need. to take anything to send to a doctor or. anything like that okay and and you. didn't take him to the doctor no I did. not take him to the doctor you. determined that everything was okay yeah. it was it was a flesh wound okay now the. the ironic thing I ask about the. pictures because I don't know if you. guys have seen this in the news recently. there was was a 60-year-old woman who.

celebrated her birthday by going to a. safari park in South Africa that's how. I'm going to celebrate my 60 she went. with her husband and she was attacked by. some cheetahs yep now these cheetahs. were they said that they were they were. friendly cheetahs you can pose for a. photo with them Y and then an 8-year-old. girl was bit in the leg by one of the. cheetahs and the woman goes over after. she posed in her pictures and she goes. and helps her and then all of a sudden. the cheetah start attacking her and. there's pictures all all over the.

Internet of this I don't know if you've. seen any of them and the pictures were. all taken by her husband three she was. attacked for 3 minutes. until. it I mean it he was just he was just. photoing the whole thing yeah of course. and he's quoted as saying something like. I didn't realize I was taking photos I. was just panicking so much yeah which is. just really fishy took 3 minutes the the. authorities show up or the Rangers or. whatever and they beat the Cheetahs off. with sticks and she's okay she's going.

to recover so don't worry but she needs. to dump the husband but yeah yeah what's. that's his defense I was you know I. didn't realized I was still taking. photos well I would no I wouldn't have. done that if I probably would have. gotten one good photo when the squirrel. was had attacked and then when he. released I would have checked on him but. yeah I tweeted this out uh over the the. past weekend I said the squirrel that. came in my house and ate a sandwich is. now bitten my son and my mom instantly. texts me and says you're joking about. that my mom follows my tweets by the way. that's she doesn't follow you tried to.

get her to follow you yeah and she said. you were joking about that right I was. like no it happened and then after I. tweeted that thank you for those of you. who follow me on Twitter and then. replied in in in great numbers about. what I should do first of all there was. a lot of people said you need to get him. checked out whoa get him checked out you. know meaning the squirrel well the son. okay the squirrel also just in case he. had rabies they were like call Animal. Control see if the squirrel has Rayes.

then get your son checked out take him. to the doctor they might need to do. antibiotics and all this stuff and I was. like you know I'm from North Carolina. he's going to be okay trust me I mean if. it was like a. rabid uh raccoon or something like that. that like GD him on the knee for a. couple of minutes we may have taken it. to the doctor no I've seen squirrel it. he doesn't look healthy there I think he. has a little bit of mange and that's how. I know it's the same squirrel because on. his not so bushy tail is beginning to. kind of look like a rat's tail he's lost. he's lost a lot of hair he might just be. getting old it looks like a dandel line.

that half of the half of the white part. of the dandel Lin is that already been. blown off into the wind like just take. that down a tail of a squirrel and. that's what his tail looks like but many. of you also said kill the squirrel. immediately I mean many people said kill. the squirrel and uh I was reading the. tweets out loud to my wife you know and. lot was listening and I was reading all. these these tweets about killing the. squirrel and I looked over and Lock's. eyes are welling up with tears and he's. like Daddy don't don't kill.

squirly he's my friend cuz he would. think it was his fault and I said he. provoked the squir first of all I'm not. probably not going to kill the squirrel. because probably I know it wasn't. aggressively attacking you you were. petting it let's just not pet squirrel. anymore and he won't bite you and it was. your fault but then it crossed my mind. you your fault if I wanted to kill. squirly mhm and I wanted to do it on my. own could I even do it in the city of. Los Angeles and I did a little research. cuz you really want to.

know and it turns out you cannot you. cannot discharge any firearm in a BB gun. or pellet gun is considered a firearm in. in the city of Los Angeles. IED prosecuted for trying to kill. squirly which because you can miss. squirrel and you can hit me if you're. standing right behind him well yeah I. could be I'm not going to miss him if I. I've shot many squirrels which reminds. me I know that you people who have a. problem with hunting are going to hate. me for this but you know I'm ready for.

that um I grew up in North Carolina. where if you're a little boy you have a. BB gun and you kill little animals with. a BB gun I mean it's just a part of the. culture mhm and what it REM what this. reminded me of actually when you buy the. BB guns they just have you know rows and. rows of them in like the Walmart's back. home they have photos of of dead little. animals all over them just look what you. can accomplish if you purchase one of. these things and I don't do this anymore. I don't hunt anymore more I don't really.

have any plans to continue hunting but. and my my kids don't hunt we're not a. family of hunters and we're not going to. carry on the hunting tradition but it. just reminded me how different my kids's. childhood already is I mean I would. shoot squirrels from and birds and. rabbits from my bedroom window I poked a. hole in the screen in my bedroom window. and I would sit up there like a sniper. killing little animals would you go down. there and get them and yeah and then I. would sometimes convince my mom to. cooking them seriously yes my brother.

killed a rabbit one time and we ate the. thing for dinner what did it taste like. rabbit and. uh that's not going to happen that's it. if my kid was had a BB gun out the. screen of his bedroom window we we would. get I would get prosecuted. instantaneously they would the the the. helicopters from the labd would be. showing up at my house and arresting my. son and me and maybe that maybe that's a. good thing I don't know it's just a. different thing let's just leave it at. that okay it's different things are.

different but he needs to feed him from. a distance I think that's really. the encourage him to bond with squirly. from a distance you know what I'm saying. just. like hello. squirly that's a hor that's a horrible. squirrel sound by the. way I can't do it uncomfortable. closeup now how are we going to do this. this is when we were going to pop in on. a closeup of each of us kind of in my. person personal space all of a sudden I.

haven't had my gum this morning but you. know maybe this could work maybe we. should start doing the show like this. this would be uncomfortable uh I'm I'm. uncomfortably close to you the audience. member I'm uncomfortably close to you. link my nose look bigger than it should. you know the camera adds 10 lbs to a. nose can we just end this as quickly as. possible yeah you and your family. filming us with your flip cam shaking. our little Tails eating crackers from. your hand and we know we're irresistible.