Our Nasty Secret

When we were in high school, we discovered that we had something. in common that was very embarrassing. Hello, this is David Kim from Rancho Palos Verdes California. Let's talk about that. ♪ (theme music) ♪. - Good Mythical Morning. - This episode is brought to you by. Orabrush, because 90% of bad breath comes from a dirty tongue. You think we'd be sitting this close together if we didn't use it?

Every morning we sit this close together. Pick 'em up at CVS or Walmart or Orabrush.com. How are you feeling? Are you feeling mythical this morning, Rhett? - I feel mythical every morning. - That's not true. Hopefully you. are feeling mythical and you are continuing to adopt us and this. show into your daily routine. Thank you. Thanks for telling us that you wanted this to be a podcast. We have answered your call. We have made Good Mythical Morning. a podcast available as a video podcast or an audio-only podcast at iTunes.

- We've got the links in the description. - All right. - We got Link right here too. - Here I am. Yo, what's up, people? Okay. I remember this distinctly in high school. One day I'm just going about my. - own business and-- business as usual-- - Mmhmm. and I felt something in the back of my throat, like up high in the tonsil area. I didn't even realize it was the tonsil area at the time. It was kind of like a. sharp thing. I was like, "What is that back there?" And I was like, (clears throat).

I started-- (clears throat) doing that like a cat. (clears throat) Like a cat. - hocking up a... - hairball. hairball. It probably took 90 minutes of sitting up there in my bedroom. - (clears throat) until... - Your mom's knocking on the door. - (high pitched) Rhett? - (high pitched) Did you get a cat? - Are you okay? - (clears throat) (normally) And then, after 90 minutes or so, this thing... all of a sudden I have dislodged. - whatever it was. - A tonsil. (laughs) Not a tonsil, but this little thing... it's on the end of my tongue.

and I take it out and I look at it. And you know the first thing you do when. something comes out of your mouth or any part of your body is you--. - Throw it in the trash? - You smell it. - Oh my gosh. - I mean, I can't help this. If it comes out of my ear, I'm like-- I don't know why. I probably shouldn't. even admit that, but I smelled it and it smelled like death. Eugh. I remember you coming to school and deciding to confide in me and tell the. story that you just told to the good viewers out there, - Mmhmm. - and I decided to be vulnerable and say,

You know what? I have that too. I look in the mirror, I open my mouth, and there's. sometimes a colony of little white dots on my tonsils. - Yeah, well... - We probably should have warned you guys. - that this was gonna be a gross episode. - (laughs) Yeah. - Finish your cereal now. - Listen, we have to come up with. something to talk about every single morning, so sometimes it's gonna be. about gross nasty stuff that happened in high school. Get over it! But there's a level of vulnerability associated with it that is gonna create.

a connection between us that will override the grossness. Because these things... there's a medical term for this. It's "tonsilloliths.". The layman's term for that is "tonsil stones" and ten percent of the population. has them and Link and I discovered that we both had these tonsil stones. And that's why we're best friends? Because of bonding moments like that? Yeah, we take our tonsil stones out and unite them together sometimes. So what I'm saying is we're simulating that connectivity with you people. But my life went on. Our lives went on into college and I was-- I told you about.

this last week. I spent a summer in Slovakia. - A very formative summer for you, Rhett. - Yeah, I did a lot of things, like. showered naked, I used very small towels, and I began telling lots of people about. my tonsil stones. But I didn't know what to call 'em at the time. I hadn't done any research, 'cause this is before the internet was a part of life. - Mmhmm. - There was no Wikipedia at the time. I was talking to my good friend Garrett Moore. I was like, "Dude, I got these. things in the back... these little things, and (clears throat) I can hock 'em up...".

I showed him one. I can get 'em up on command sometimes. - Like calling a dog. - Yeah. And... - (whistles) - C'mere, tonsil stone! - That'd be a good name for a pet. - No it wouldn't. And I was like, "What should we call it?" and he was like, "I don't know... - Lil' Fellers?" - You come back from Slovakia and we. decide to write a song telling the world about Lil' Fellers. This was many years ago but you can still go to rhettandlink.com/music, scroll down to the bottom to a very early Rhett & Link album, and you can.

- find the song Lil' Fellers. - Let's play just a little portion of that. - for old times' sake. - ♪ (Lil' Fellers) ♪. I had mastered this technique of using a toothpick to actually dislodge and pop. 'em out. But what I didn't realize I was doing was I was making the holes bigger. and bigger, so the colony started taking over. So my tonsils started to. look infested. And this is gross, people. It's hard to live with yourself in this. type of situation. I got fed up with it and I decided I was gonna take drastic measures.

- Can I tell you what they're composed of? - Yeah. - Just so people know how nasty this is? - Hurry, get it over with. They are composed mostly of calcium. Oh, that's not bad. That's in milk! - Good for you. - They contain many other minerals--. this is on Wikipedia-- such as phosphorus, magnesium, as well as ammonia and. carbonate. It's like you could mine these and sell them! - And put it on a ring? - Phosphorus and magnesium, those sound. like things that should be in multivitamins. But if you take it out and put it on your windowsill, it dries up to nothing, so you. couldn't really mount it like a pendant. So don't even go there, people.

- I know what you're thinking. - So you went very extreme. I decided I was going to have my tonsils removed! I was gonna go to a doctor and. - have them hacked out. - When you need something like that, you. - should go to, not an alley, but a doctor. - I set up an appointment. I go to the. - Ear, Nose, and Throat -- the ENT doctor. - Mmhmm. I told him over the phone, "I got these lil' fellers." He was like, "What are. those?" And we-- my wife and I were like, "Oh, you call them tonsil stones.".

We go in there. That morning, I get up, I look in the mirror... I don't have any! - Yeah, they've exited. They've evacuated. - I'm like, "They knew. They heard the. phone conversation and they've gone away temporarily. - They're sabotaging my whole plan. - The tonsil stones. But I had another plan. In the parking lot, before I go in for my appointment. for the consultation... I brought some white bread in the car. Just little pieces. of white bread. Totally true. I started rolling 'em up into little hard balls.

I took a toothpick and I did the reverse of what I always do and I started--. looking in the rear-view mirror, I started placing them. You administered lil' fellers to yourself. And then I went in. I did it very close to the appointment so I could just go. into the appointment and he's like, "All right, lemme take a look." And I opened... And he's like (yells) "Oh my gosh, we need to remove your tonsils yesterday!". If he was a good doctor or a baker he would have been like, "That's bread.". (laughs) Yeah, I hope the health insurance company is not gonna come after me now.

and I'm gonna have to pay for this whole procedure. - Yeah, you should not have admitted that. - I really needed it, people, but I had to. leave no question of doubt. I get the surgery done. They put you under, cut. - out your tonsils, and then they burn it. - Yeah. - Like, sear it. - Mmhmm. "Cauterize," they call that, Link. And then you can't drink anything but milkshakes for a whole month. Let us. know in the comments if you've had your tonsils removed. Share your experience. But a week later, as the scabs are forming, they start falling off, and.

since I was 22-23 years old when I had this done-- it's like the worst time in. your life to do it, because something about how your throat bleeds... Yeah, throat bleeding peaks at 23. Everybody knows that. No, it does. All these people know. See? You learned something here. I opened my mouth and looked in the mirror, and it was just bleeding. - everywhere back there. - Into your stomach cavity. - I'm like about to faint. - Nasty. I'm like, "I'm about to die. I have to go back to the doctor." We called the doctor. He was like, "Go to the emergency room right now. I'll meet you there.".

They had to do an emergency re-surgery. Basically the same surgery again. - Re-surgery? - They had to re-surger me. - and cauterize everything. - But you're okay now. I guess it's justice for what I did. The pretense of me getting the procedure. I'm not gonna call it karma, but call it what you will. Now, you're okay now and you don't get tonsil stones at all because you don't. - have any pockets. - I don't have tonsils. Hello! - But I still have pockets. - It's like a bald man's head in the back. - of my throat. - That's nasty. This has been nasty on.

many different levels. I'm gonna tell you something. One last nasty thing. I have trained my tongue to remove tonsil stones. (laughs). I can look at Rhett sometimes and he will have this expression on his face. - that's like... - This one. My wife hates it. - She's like, "Quit doin' that!" - It just looks like you're, like... I can totally dig into my tonsils with my tongue. It's like... anybody can do it. You have to train yourself, though. And then he'll go... (spits) We'll be in everyday conversation and I'll see this. look come on his face and I'll be like, "Don't do that!".

- It's squeaky clean back there right now. - Go to the bathroom and do that! If one begins forming, I get it. I'm like an anteater with the tip of. - my tongue back there. - Oh, man. It's like I have a termite mound in the back of my mouth and I'm. - gettin' ants out of it. - What a great way to start your week, right? - Forgive us. - Hopefully you're not eating corn pops. right now. (laughs) 'Cause you stopped a long time ago. (laughs) Hopefully there's some redemptive elements to this episode and that you'll.

- keep watching. - If you have tonsil stones, let us know. in the comments. I know it's an embarrassing thing, but 10% of the. population-- according to Wikipedia-- has them. We'd like you to confide in us. You can get surgery. Don't fake it with bread. Or I suggest training your tongue. to remove the tonsil stones. It doesn't cost any money and anybody can do it. Do not do what I did, kids. I do not recommend it. (Rhett) Link calls his Nana. That means you have to make a phone call to your. - grandmother right now. - Oh, Nana.

- Okay. - Hopefully she's there. I gotta take my phone out of Airplane Mode. - That's easy enough. - If she doesn't answer immediately, we. - might have to do a quick edit. - We usually don't edit on Good Mythical. Morning, but you know what? We can if we want to, especially when we're calling. multiple phones to try to reach Link's grandmother. (phone rings). - (Nana) Hello! - Hello, Nana. - (Nana) Hey! - How are doin' today?

(Nana) I'm doin' good! How are you? Are you callin' to tell me you comin' home? No, I'm sorry. I'm calling-- we're doin' our Good Mythical Morning show and. - the wheel told me to call you. - (Nana) Oh, they did? - Well, it's not really "they," it's a thing. - Yeah, but you can go with that. I just wanna tell you that I love you and I wish you a Good Mythical Morning, and. I also wanted to make sure that you-- have you ever been on a zipline, smoking a pipe,

- holding a goat? - Pig. - (Nana) Not quite. (laughs) - What about-- have you ever made PayDay. candy bars at home? You know, it's like caramel with peanuts on it. - (Nana) A long time ago. - I knew you did that! - And now you're receiving royalties. - (Nana) Oh, that would be nice! And last thing before we go: what's the sound you make when you're in another room.

and me or one of the kids says, "Nana, where are you? - (Nana) Yoohoo! (laughs) - That's close enough. - We love you, Nana, and we miss you. - We miss you too. We're coming back to North Carolina in June. - Oh, really? - (Nana) Okay! - Yeah. Just planned it. - Okay. - All right. Love you, talk to you later. - (Nana) All right, bye. - Bye. - Do you think she means--. - not permanently, just to visit. - I know, you totally got her hopes up. You probably need to call her back and tell her it's just for a vacation.

I'll call her later. Thanks for watching. [Captioned by Caitrin: GMM Captioning Team].