One Direction Exposed

if One Direction turned evil would we be. able to stop them I'm Justin Green from. NES Michigan Let's Talk About. [Music]. [Applause]. That Good Mythical Morning this episode. is brought you by SM makers of the. Songify application and now it is time. to announce the winner of the SM Songify. GM jingle contest congratulations to Mr.

Cody. mulshine can't wait to check my. subscription Bo for GM by link and. congratulations Cody you win not won but. two Mythical Shoes and a $100 gift. certificate to the iTunes. Store thanks for joining us today uh I I. don't know if we're on The Cutting Edge. of all things trendy nothing we're not. on The Cutting Edge of anything but I.

have heard of the band One Direction I. have heard of them I know that it is a. phenomenon and that we should discuss it. here so welcome fans of One Direction. and people who have barely heard of them. alike all are welcome here now here's a. little refresher if you don't know who. they are this is a boy band from the UK. they are incredibly popular they're. becoming incredibly popular in the US. and worldwide they actually got their. start on The X Factor they all. auditioned individually they apparently. none of of them could qualify as an.

individual Simon Cy said you know what. these guys would be a very good super. group he created the group they got. third place in the xfactor they still. didn't win third place third place and. now they they they've had social this. social media campaign late last year and. they've released a few singles and. they're doing really well I mean one of. their videos has like 100 million views. on YouTube and they're just blowing up. you know young guys teenagers skinny. jeans hair Saturday Night Live SNL it's. just happening it's a phenomenon watch.

out One Direction's coming for you boy. band they're going to beat you well. watch out speak other boy bands oh but. also as you know many boy bands turn. evil happens pretty much every time yeah. so as I was thinking about this they. start dressing in Black they dye their. hair and they eyeliner is that what. you're talking about well maybe crimes. maybe underworld stuff Black Market type. things who who knows I mean the CD. underside of boy bands uh is is a. dangerous thing which would be a cool.

documentary yeah uh but anyway I don't. have a docent work on that immediately I. I have done some research on the. Wikipedia and whatnot because my. question. was not when but if One Direction turns. evil I'm you know I'm not saying they're. going to turn evil don't don't don't. crawl on my back Mr Monkey or or. whatever type of idiom you want to. employ at this point I'm just saying if. if they turned evil would we be ready.

we need to know the weaknesses of these. five band members now now first of all I. don't know what it is about having five. in sync Back Street Boys I even think. going back to New Kids on the Block. there was like five really I don't know. about them but there at least with ins. sync and Back Street Boys there it's a. magical number of five and they each. have different personas that they kind. of put out there which which I'll kind. of go through you know say oh you know. he's the cute playful one he's the funny. one he's the he's the one with the weak. mustache and so so the girls they like.

to they like to be a fan of one oh my. favorite is is Justin my favorite is. Joey my favorite is Jordan so you're. saying our problem is there's only two. of us if we had to go back in time and. add three other guys we would be. popular no that's not what I was saying. but you've given me pause to think about. we should add three like young guys we. need to get the average age of the band. down to like 19 so we need like three. toddlers we can do that that BR Lincoln. three toddlers taking over the world it.

seems totally appropriate it just sounds. like a bad movie that would star Danny. DeVito Arnold. Schwarzenegger and three Toddlers and. Martin Lawrence which is actually one. toddler that they duplicate digitally it. can be done that is a set of twins so. they don't get tired when you're working. with them but just to re you back in. here we're talking about uh you know. World Domination by One Direction turned. to evil is at stake so we we need to. focus here um I'm going to go through. these guys and I'm going to start uh I'm.

just going to go in alphabetical order. and try to pinpoint some weaknesses that. if we need to we can exploit NY I think. that's how you say his name horon who's. known as the cute little Irish one first. of all he needs a little dental work but. his weakness is is his weakness Dental. he needs dental work no his weakness is. a fear of birds he has. ornithophobia since he was attacked by a. pigeon while on the toilet as a child. I'm not making this up people so in.

order to use Birds against him do we. have to wait till he's using the. bathroom yeah just wait till he goes. into the port of John before the concert. so he has actually be on the John in. order for the birds to be effective take. notes people because this could. seriously happen they turn evil it. happens you can't just have birds and. just go up to him he's got to be on the. John what else do we have Zan mik the. quiet and mysterious one uh he smokes. cigarettes so if you want to say hey I. got some cigarettes you want to come.

over here into my trap like us him like. a lure yeah like hey on a on a like a. fishing line or if you want to in just. run from him a foot race just do. something to him and then run from him. he's going to get winded he can't catch. up with you that's good Harry Styles the. Charming one his weakness he likes older. women oh it's it's been well documented. he briefly dated English television. presenter Caroline Flack which caused. widespread media controversy because of. the 15-year age Gap she was 15 years. older than him yeah so he's got to thing.

for cougars yeah bring in the bring in. the older ladies if you want to if you. want to if you want to get hairy styles. the evil hairy styles to to uh to. succumb okay a cougar Army check Liam. pay the sensible one mhm his weakness he. only has one functional kidney oh you. know I I'm not saying this you know I'm. not I'm not trying to put the guy down. I'm just saying if he turns evil we. might have to exploit the fact that he.

only has one functional kidney so you. need to know which side that is so you. can kidney punch him in the side with. the kidney or just flush him with fluids. you know and he just won't he'll be. debilitated he just can't take it yeah. you you shouldn't make fun of a guy you. know I'm not making fun I'm I'm just I'm. just saying do you know what the One. Direction fans are going to think about. you now that you want to exploit the. weaknesses this is if he's evil if he's. evil you know I'm looking out for all of. us you you know you guys are going to. be you're going to be subject to their. powers leis Tomlinson aka the funny one.

he has no detectable weaknesses I was. not able to unearth any fact about this. guy that could be translated into a. weakness the best thing Best Thing I Got. he does consider Michael Jackson quote a. real inspiration end quote Oh that could. be a weakness we could uh you could you. could dress up like Michael cuz you're. you look more you could pass for Michael. Jack a little bit more than me you're.

little. frailer okay and uh and what start. dancing start dancing in front of him I. could lure him and lure him somewhere. and I could have a cigarette in my hand. and I could get two of them at once two. of them at once yeah well then what then. we unleash the birds cuz the one that. likes Michael Jackson and the cigarettes. doesn't like the birds I could lure them. into a Porton and then it could be full. of. birds now seriously before we wrap this. episode up because that was of course.

uh you know that was all serious I I. cared about what I said but I mean what. are you what are you getting I think the. big question for a lot of people. is is this a are these guys legitimate. okay you know people are saying it's. like Beetle Mania all over again here in. the US you got these these British guys. young good-looking guys making music. that all the. girls okay guys from the UK and the. girls are just falling is it falling is. that what happens when the women falling. over them falling all over themselves. faint and they're so into this I would.

say that first of all if the women are. into it if the women are into it there's. legitimacy there mission accomplished. mission accomplished so if you got all. these teenage girls going crazy over you. I think you can't deny the legitimacy of. that it is a phenomenon there's nothing. that can be said about that but I think. do compare these guys with the Beatles. while it's a great compliment to One. Direction it's kind of a disservice to. The Beatles because we're talking about. a songwriting Duo that was Innovative. and genius these guys are doing. Manufacturing music that sure they may.

have had some sort of creative role in. it but if you look at the people who. wrote the songs and produced the songs. this is a m this is a machine to entice. young girls into this world of One. Direction you know what it's incredibly. effective and just because you're a. young girl is into One Direction there's. nothing wrong with that but this ain't. the Beatles baby let me tell you this is. this is not Innovative music this is. reactionary music that's manufactured to. get girls to go crazy they find out what. they want and they give it to them and. it works it's the business so I would. say that they're legitimate performers.

but maybe not legit as legitimate of. artists but time will tell because what. happens when you're a teenager and you. in one of these boy bands time passes. you get a little bit older you get a. little bit of a pot belly you start. losing your hair and then the question. becomes all right you don't have your. good looks anymore the skinny jeans. don't fit anymore are you a legitimate. artist I actually I would I would. disagree I would say the you know I two. words tell me that you can not only have. performance legitimacy but also move.

into artistic legitimacy Justin. Timberlake you know I wouldn't say I'm a. huge fan of Justin Timberlake or a fan. at all but you know when he started. releasing his solo albums they were. legitimate forms of artistry I have to. say that you have to is he paying you to. say that yeah we we have an arrangement. how come you didn't tell me about. this if you're if you have a financial. resource you tell me about it we share. this this is R link man it's a Duo but. you do see what I'm struggling do you. see what are you still tracking with me.

so you know if this One Direction these. guys can go solo or even as a band I. don't care you know they they can come. into their own and build off of this. frenzy and and have uh uh continue to. have legitimate careers that become seen. as more legitimate artists right it's. it's a time will tell kind of thing. they're totally legitimate right now. because they're a phenomenon are they. going to be legitimate long term well. time will. tell let's see how we're going to end. this oh that was a weak spin link yeah. know I just kind of want to there's no.

energy in that spin I just kind of. wanted to get to. it gibberish. translator I'll speak in gibberish you. tell the people what I'm saying. okay hi I'm. [Music]. rat as you know I've done a lot of. research on One Direction lately but I. have something to admit oh she my.

I am obsessed with the cute funny. one and the one that needs a little bit. of dental work y y so if you're. watching. me any members of One Direction you have. an open invitation to send me a letter. and we'll start a PayPal correspondence.

see you. tomorrow hey kid would you like some. drugs the first one is. free want to check out my. van I got some candy. [Music].