Link's Boneheaded Car Accident

I did something stupid and had an. accident and it's time to tell you the. story let's talk about that hi I'm. Carlos and I'm Ai and we're from Mexico. Good Mythical. [Music]. Morning Good Mythical Morning a little. little hot in here to. you kind of like right in here in my. core yeah like I might be about to.

overheat I get it very warm in the. center of you're wearing my vest you. wanted to wear my vest it's a little. small you're wearing it my core is. bigger than your core I need a bigger. vest yeah okay well then give me back my. vest and I'm not going to wear it now. but I am going to continue to wear it. like I said on my own time okay uh I. guess it was day before yesterday I. mentioned a story that I wanted to tell. you now is the time um I don't make a. habit of making boneheaded decisions and.

boneheaded movements in my life but they. happen a lot but is that AIT but it just. happens and it's it's not usually my. fault but um maybe maybe this was my. fault I had an accident over the. holidays I just want to lay the story. out I know you you know parts of it um. but you don't know all the details so. I'm going to share it with you people. and uh I just I expect some sort of. catharsis here um in me telling this. story uh this could also be categorized. as uh an embarrassing story but probably.

not my most embarrassing story keyword. embarrassing mhm well keyword catharsis. look it. up I know what it is okay so for the. holidays we go to a lot of uh my. nickname in high school family members. homes um we we usually go to christe my. wife's parents house pretty early on we. go visit the in-laws you know um um and. we we did that this holiday season and I.

have not developed u a reputation of. being someone who's got my head on. straight when I go to the in-law's house. okay I have developed a reputation of. being a complete idiot now I I'll just. quickly recount some of those instances. the first time I ever went to Christy's. parents house to I had already met him. but going to their house like oh chrisy. and I are dating uh he was he he he. grilled the parents he grilled some. chickens he had him on a nice platter he. was taking him from the grill he handed. him to me I was taking him inside. christe for some reason was shooting.

basketball which is hard to imagine of. course shooting basketball she misses. the hoop the ball comes towards me I'm. like haha air ball the ball bounces in. front of me in such a way that it. bounces and then it comes up under the. plate bam chicken and plate go. everywhere shattered on the ground the. chickens are everywhere in their. driveway which is gravel and I turn. around and her dad my future. father-in-law is right there and he's. like.

and he starts picking him up and he made. me eat him we still going to eat that. yeah right I'm about to say so that was. okay so okay this guy you're dating. Christy may be an. idiot fast forward in time been married. quite a few I mean listen quite a few. years give you a break on that one that. was your wife's fault that exactly I. didn't want to say it thank you for. saying she sucks at basketball um some. of you may remember from uh good myth. good morning episode over this past. summer went home and uh Christy's dad. took me and the kids fishing uh you can.

watch the whole story in a previous. episode uh long story short I hooked the. scalp of my son Lincoln with a with a. fishing hook didn't realize it and. continued to yank in such a way that I. almost yanked his whole scalp off and. then turn around and who's standing. right there my father-in-law he's like. what what did you do and then he has to. administer first aid I think that the. man you dated might be a bon head in. your defense Lincoln is the most. fish-like your.

children uh uh Christmas I'm just trying. to help you out here Christmas before. last I'm I need to open a Barbie doll. that Lily got for Christmas from uh my. in-laws and my father-in-law hands me a. knife and as I'm opening the Barbie doll. I cut my finger I run out into the. kitchen to put it under the sink because. I don't know for some reason I thought. that's what you do because it was very. hot knife and yes I look down at my. finger and I fainted into my. father-in-law 's arms it could happen to.

anybody I have no defense for you in. that one that's so this is the. reputation that I have established with. my in-laws my father-in-law but he was. gracious enough does he constantly scowl. at you when you come in he constantly. brings it up he's like I don't give him. knife is that a Barbie here let me let. me open that you want to go fishing he. doesn't talk like this though um say he. was gracious enough to to loan us when. we came into town since we don't have a. car there his GMC Yukon maybe he's.

looking to get an insurance payment on. it so uh uh Christy's sister and her. husband bring it to the airport to pick. us up he's not there because he's back. in Kinston North Carolina but I know. that this truck is his baby This SUV I. know in the past I can see whenever I. bring it back if he's loan it to us he. doesn't tell me but he like gives it the. once over it's like looking at it I know. that he trips the mileage and tracks. exactly how much mileage we drive it. whenever he loans it to us this is his. baby this is his car but it's the only.

one that will accommodate my big family. whenever we come home cuz none of us. none of my friends or family have a. minivan right he La us a car we take it. from the airport now here's an important. Point instead of just going straight. from the airport getting something to. eat and then going to. Kenston we had to alter our route to go. to our former hometown of Fu Verina yep. the reason why is because my wife left. her coat her winter coat at your house. here in La so you brought it to F she.

left it on the street in front of my. house and that's another story so. christe left her coat I'm not saying. this is Christy's fault but we would. never have had to take this route in my. father-in-law's. truck if Christy hadn't left her coat. and you hadn't bring it so we go down to. fqu and we're driving my fault well. blame it on me well thank you for. bringing the coat if you hadn't I. wouldn't had to go either so you or. Christie I'm not the reason we had to go. to F it wasn't a vest it wasn't me that. took us to fu except I'm the one that.

driving the Yukon there okay we're going. down the street uh approaching. fuqu and I can't believe this I in La I. expect traffic but never in the small. town of Fu Verina all of a sudden three. miles outside of town there is. bumper-to-bumper backed up traffic it's. growing we are growing like a we in the. world we got a Target coming all of a. sudden I'm sitting in STO and go traffic. in my former hometown and my my my blood.

pressure just starts to rise a little. bit Yeah okay and then I look down at. the fuel. [Music]. gauge the eite is on I don't know how. long it's been on I don't look at things. like that you know you have a problem. there I'll be honest with you so now I'm. thinking I'm in stop and go traffic what. should take 2 minutes is going to take. 45 minutes at this rate I'm going to run. out of gas is that going to damage the. car are we going to be so late he's. going to be like my father-in-law is. going to be like where were you guys and. I'll have to to be.

like I maybe I ran out of gas and uh is. it fuel. injection yeah I could cause damage or. at least I'd be I'd have to say I ran. out of gas and because of it fuel. injection you got a problem what an. idiot so my blood pressure really starts. to rise at this point I'm I'm thinking. about going onto the shoulder of the. road and just going to the nearest gas. station finally we inch forward and I'm. able to cut through the back of a. grocery store the first turn off I get. to and go and then go and I finally get. to a gas station and I I am I'm thinking.

that I can run out of gas at any moment. I pull up to the gas station I'm I'm. thinking all right which side is the. fuel panel where which side is the the. hole the fuel hole is there yeah that's. what they call it a the the official. name which side is that on where's that. fuel hole at cuz I'm thinking if I P if. I pull up like an insult if I pull up. and the fuel hole is on the other side I. may not be able to crank up the car to. get to the other side run out of gas but.

that's how concerned I am okay. understand I'm just thinking about all. this did you look at the arrow to see. which side it was on I it didn't have an. arrow I didn't see the arrow and then I. pull up and I open up and I'm like okay. yes it's on the right side I go up I. open the fuel hole I put the nozzle in. there I go and I I swipe the credit. card processing C cashier now it is. freezing outside I'm no longer in Los. Angeles I'm not acclimated to this. weather the wind is howling all I had on. was a vest my my core was great my my.

arms were just freezing and I blood. pressure is just Rising see cashier I'm. like I'm not seeing the cashier you know. I can see him from here so I what's the. big deal I didn't even turn around I. just swiped the card again cuz you know. sometimes the car doesn't swipe right. yep does it make nois like that that's. part of your problem see cashier I'm. like dang it I don't know why but I was. just so keyed up by this point yeah well. the vest is part of the problem I stomp. around Yukon I go over there to the.

cashier it's one of those things where. you can't go inside the convenience. store it's all outdoors and and the wind. is whipping I'm freezing and I see there. is a line of people 15 people long. waiting to go to the one. cashier I'm like there's a line there's. a line what in the world I'm freezing. and then my eye goes down the line down. the line down the line to the front of. the line where the cashier is there's a. piece of paper with a handwritten note. on it uh stuck to the inside of the.

cashier Booth it says I know what it. says it says our credit card machines. are broke cash only cash and credit only. now I don't have to tell you I don't. carry cash okay that's the second. mistake that's not my there pockets in. your vest for it there's I I have cards. I have all types of cards what do I need. cash for cards don't work in the. apocalypse and I'm not I don't bring my. my checkbook anywhere so I'm I'm just. I'm just so so mad CU they would have.

taken checks oh yeah I'm like gosh I'm. not standing in this line I'm freezing. I'm stomping back around the car I'm. like why didn't he put the sign on each. of the pumps I could have known this 10. minutes ago now I'm going to run out of. gas going somewhere else get in the car. slam the door Chris's like what's wrong. I have I have a little bit of cash I'm. like I want to fill up all the way put. it in reverse start going backwards cuz. there was a car in front of me all of a. sudden boom.

I have hit. something and at the same moment that I. hear the boom I realize I forgot to take. the gas nozzle back out of my fuel. hole I slam on. brakes look at Christie she looks at me. caught by the fuel hole I might have I. might have set a term or two that I. don't want my kids to repeat like fuel. hole.

I put it in park I get out of the car I. go back there I'm like ah I run back. again and put it in for a little bit. thank goodness fuel was not going. spewing out there was no fuel escaping. anywhere I guess it's cuz it did they. didn't take my credit card yeah right. and then I I take the nozzle out of. there I put it away I slam it I get back. in the car and I said and Chrissy's like. did you break something I'm like no she. was like what did you check and I'm like.

don't ask me any questions I I don't. want to run out of gas and then I go and. we get back in a traffic jam to go to. the next nearest gas station I go over. there Chrissy's like I snapped at her I. shouldn't have done that I'm sorry. Chrissy you didn't call her F hole did. you I did not you know so she was she. was quiet because she knew that I was. being a you know. what um and even though she was. concerned we pull up to the next gas. station uhhuh I get out of the get out. of the car I'm like if this thing does.

if this swiper doesn't work I am going. to kill. somebody I swipe it it works oh it's. like how hard could this be you know. fule open open up the fuel hole pump the. gas fill it up all the way I even got a. receipt everything's working perfectly. turn around take the thing back out. because I'm not going to make the same. mistake twice pull that out close the. close the cap on the fuel hole I'm going. I have to keep saying it now yeah the.

thing that covers the hole is. like yeah the fuel door the fuel door. covers the fuel hole and then I'm like. pushing on it and that thing is like at. an 80° angle it will not close I have. bent this thing back if you recall at. the previous gas station the accident I. had there were repercussions yeah I did. I did that I'm like oh crap and then I. look closely and I realized that not. only is is the fuel door bent back but I. had bent it back so far. that it hits the the side panel of the.

truck and it started pushing. it into the side of the truck removing. paint After Paint after layer of paint. and just digging itself down gosh you're. so stupid it was like I was just it was. like the the crack in the side of the. pan was just talking to it you're so. stupid I'm worried about you you are. such a boneheaded fool I'm glad you own. a vest gosh I get back in the car and I. got to tell. Christie I've I've done some damage to.

our to my relationship with my. father and it's a one and a half hour. drive to Kinston gosh I just well what. was it what felt horrible I mean what. are you are you in trouble now I my my. last piece of advice is prepare a speech. what I decided to do after deciding that. I wasn't just going to play dumb on this. was I prepared a speech right when we. get there I'm like I'm not going to. prolong this madness anymore right when. we get there I pull over he sees the. grandkid he comes around back to get out.

some of the luggage I'm like. listen there's something I got to tell. you and then this is key this is my. piece of advice I. said please don't kill me dot dot dot it. really doesn't matter what you say after. that because that I in retrospect that. was genius you know I'm a genius but. come over here and take a look at your. fuel yeah so I was like I did it in your. the side of your truck and he's. like just give me that vest and. everything will be all right he took out. a handkerchief.

he looked at it he took out a. handkerchief put put it by he didn't. spit on it he put it behind the fuel uh. panel thingy and then he he proceeds to. bend it back and it was bent back almost. good as new yeah and I was like huh and. he was. like and I know what he was thinking he. like how big of an idiot can you be but. what he said was what what did you how. did you do this I was like well I was I. was just distracted yeah I just left it. at that let's move on he was very. gracious um I said listen I'm going to.

fix the dent I'm going to fix the paint. a week later when we're at Mom and. Lewis's house they helped me find a. local Body Shop man and uh I think. that's what a sign said Body Shop man oh. you got a little D there next to your. few hole I'll see this every day $100 he. fixed it when they came New Year's Day. to pick it up bazam good as new only. thing damaged in the long term is my. reputation well it was already pretty. bad oh goodness um is there anything to. learn from my story besides that I'm a.

total. idiot probably not but there you have it. in all its Glory calm down you know just. be calm when there's when there's cash. only calm down tighten your vest up if. you want to give a suggestion for a. secret spot for our wheel you can do. that on Facebook Twitter uh that's the. ideal place to do it we see. those just finished a. marathon.

oh there you are where's my. vest uh I thought I thought that I was. waiting for you to come this way cuz. like the Finish Line was here you were. in the marathon right yeah listen the. heat is escaping from my core like you. would not. believe the heat is escaping from your. core Well everybody's everybody's gone. home right you were your last place I. don't even think you stayed on the on. the TR it's not how fast you run it's. the way you run and I ran.

[Music]. backwards.