Link Blind Dates 16 Water Bottles

- What does it take to be the perfect water bottle? - Let's talk about that. (bright music). Gooooood Mythical Morning. - I don't know if you know this, but sometimes, I can be a little-. - Anal? - No, I don't wanna use that term. - Pretty anal. - No. - Especially anal. - I was gonna say particular. - Oh, okay. - And not particularly anal, but maybe a little bit,

specifically about my water bottle. It's hard to find the perfect Goldilocks bottle. There's so many out there. - Well, you're in luck, Linky-poo, because that's exactly what we're doing today. It's time for "To Have and to Hold, Water Bottle Edition.". (pleasant music) (audience applauding). - [Announcer] From Burbank, the water bottle dating capital. of the world, in color, it's "To Have and to Hold.". And here's your host, Rhett McLaughlin! (pleasant music) (audience applauding). - (chuckling) Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Oh, please, please, please, please, no, please, please, please, please, please, please, please. (upbeat music) (audience applauding). Thank you. (people laughing). And please welcome our guest of honor. His mouth is dry, and he's looking for the perfect water bottle to get it wet. Yes, he wants a bottle who can deliver a heart-to-heart. with some H2O, it's Lincoln.

- Hey. (audience applauding). - Hi, Link, how you doing? - Great, it's an honor to be here. (people laughing). - You thirsty? - Yeah, so, I'm thirsty and opinionated. - Okay, listen, now, it is my understanding, it's not just my understanding, it is my personal knowledge. to the point of slight to moderate annoyance, that you already have a really strong relationship. with a water bottle. - Yes, I do. - Like you've kind of gone through a process. of thinking that maybe you had picked the best water bottle.

for you already, right? - Yep, and I wrote my name on it, so whenever I would lose it, it would return to me, which happened multiple times. - We don't have it here, we don't want you, we've actually, we've left it in your car, right? - Mm-hmm, yeah. (person laughing). - Yeah, I left it in your car, (people laughing). because we're gonna see if you can replace that bottle, okay? - Is she gonna find out. about this? - I don't know, that's why she's not here right now. On the other side of this wall, there are 13 eligible water bottles. who all want to go home with you tonight. - Yeah. - But only one.

can be the one "To Have. and to Hold." - "To Hold.". - That's the name of our show. - Mm-hmm. (people laughing). - [Rhett] Okay, these are the best of the best compiled. from The New York Times' top water bottles of 2024. - [Link] Okay. - As well as some favorites from our very own Mythical Crew. They like to drink water. And now, it's time for the hard part. Yes, it's time for our first round of eliminations. Let's talk lids, okay? - Yep. - Every bottle needs one, but what kind of lid tickles your fancy? More specifically, is there a type of lid.

that you will not even bother fooling around with? - Yep. - If so, they gotta go. If the water bottle has a different lid option. than the one shown here today, they will stay in the running. And the options are open, spout, flip straw, straw, or squeeze top, okay? We have some lids for you to inspect. Just remember what lids look like. - Okay. (upbeat music). - Now, do you have a strong preference? - Well, first of all, what is open?

It's just, it's just-. - Like this? You have to take, you have to screw the top off? - Is that what open means? - You don't even- - Yes! - You don't even put your mouth on it? That's horrible. - Which one do you definitely, just one, right? - I'm absolutely getting rid of just the open one. I mean, yeah, that sucks. A lot of twisting just to lose. No, uh-uh, get rid of it. - Okay, so you're getting rid of the open lid. That means you are getting rid of bottle number four,

the Purifyou Glass Water Bottle. Water Boy Chase, can we see what that looks like? - Oh. Yes, can I? - [Rhett] No, you can't touch it. (glass clunks). (people laughing). - (laughs) All right, I changed my mind at the last second. See, that's one of the problems is this glass, it could have broken. (bottle clattering). But it's kind of nice. I mean, it didn't break. - It's 100% leak-proof, but you'll never know that. - Look at this right here. One twist, two twists, three twists, exhausted.

Put it down, where'd it go, drink it, now I've lost it. - Okay. (bottle clatters). - [Audience Member] Oh! - He just found it exhausting and lost it. (people laughing). That's pretty cruel. You also said goodbye to bottle number five, the MIRA Cascade. (pleasant music). It boasts a functional style. (bottle clunks). (people laughing). And also, to bottle number 13, the Nalgene Wide Mouth Sustain Water Bottle.

This is my water bottle of choice. That's what I like. It's big, it's simple. (people laughing). - We got it. - Please, please don't hurt yourself. - Now, this is a classic. One twist, two twists, three, and it's soft. Cannot lose it. (upbeat music). So I'm soft. - Yeah. (laughs). (person laughing). Okay, 10 lonely water bottles remain, but how many love-bit liquid bringers. will survive this round? Okay, which bottle material is a deal-breaker for you?

- Okay. - Now you already threw away. the only glass water bottle, (bottle clatters). so that's out of the running. - Good. - So now. you are choosing between plastic or stainless steel. - [Link] Plastic is light. - Yeah. - It's very packable if you're going backpacking, but I don't do that. The aluminum or steel or metal? - [Rhett] Stainless steel. - It's dentable, but it's much better insulation. So, I gotta get rid of the plastic.

because the water gets hot too quick. - So, because you are getting rid of plastic, we are saying goodbye to bottle number six, Thermos Hydration Bottle. - Oh, Thermos, that's an established brand. Yeah, this is cheap. This is like-. - You don't like that? - This is. somebody gives it away to you at a conference, but I do like that. - Oh, okay, well, say goodbye to it. - Glug, glug, glug. - You're also saying goodbye to bottle number seven,

oh, CamelBak Podium. Oh, that's like for bikes. - Yeah, this is- - You know? That fits in the bike part, right? You're a biker. - Yeah, I need one of these for my bike, actually. (people laughing). - Well, you can't have that one. (pleasant music) (bottle clatters). You also said bye to bottle number 11, the CamelBak Eddy+. (pleasant music). (bottle slaps). - Okay. Oh, now that is a... - You like that, huh? - Ooh, see, it's got a soft nipple on it.

- You don't like your nipples hard? - Not when I'm trying not to poke my eye out with 'em. - Okay. - That's a shame really. (people laughing). Hate to see it go. - All right, next up, I have another important question. for you, Charles. Dish washability. - Oh, yeah. - Is that a deal breaker. in your water bottle relationship? - I have a confession to make. I only wash my water bottle probably once a quarter.

- [Speaker] (gasps) No! - Yeah, I think this is a problem. - Oh, whoa, whoa. - This is my character flaw. - Gross. - This is the one... - Quarterly? - I don't wash my- - Four times a year? - Yeah, I don't think, I mean, 'cause it's just water in there. - Yeah, but it's also like your mouth and your backwash, and anything that goes from your mouth into the thing, there's fungus in there, man. You gotta-. - Yeah, yeah, yep. (people laughing). I'm not proud of it. - What does it smell like?

- I prefaced it as, "I have a confession to make,". but cleanability is important. You want to be able. to take apart- - But hold on, no. But you just said it wasn't important. - No. - Your actions. say that it's not important to you, so why are you gonna suddenly change your mind here. on our show? - The platform I'm running on is that it is important. - Okay, that means we're gonna say goodbye to two more, including bottle number three, the Owala FreeSip. - [Link] Now this is a fancy water bottle. - [Rhett] Wow. - [Link] Look at that thing. - Pretty, nice color combo. Forget about it, though.

- It's got a lot, I mean the, that right there. goes right on the mouth. There's also, there's a straw in it. There's a straw in the place where you're actually sipping. - There's a straw and adjust the spout. - You can turn it up and sip from the straw. at the same time. - [Rhett] You're also saying goodbye. to the number eight bottle, the Purist Mover. (pleasant music). - Oh. (bottle clacks). So this... - Well, it has technology. - It's crap. (people laughing). - It has something called Purist Technology. that mimics how water beads off a duck's feathers.

- Does it taste like it sloughed off a duck's-. - This one's made from a duck, I believe. - How does this even open? - [Rhett] You think it had to be a duck. Oh. - Oh. - Oh, you did it. - (smacks lips) Mm, tastes horrible. - You're putting your mouth on all of them. (people laughing). Like, I mean, we are probably gonna like give these out. to people. - Well, then, I mean, you'll need to wash it, but not in the dishwasher. (people laughing) (bottle clatters). - Okay, the group is getting ever smaller.

Let's make it a little bit smaller. - Good. - By asking you about price. I know you're a frugal man. What is the most you would pay for your dream water bottles? - (blows raspberries) I mean, it is just a cup. Now I know they could really go up in price. I mean, you could be spending post-50 dollars. - Post-50? - Yeah. (people laughing). Like beyond, beyond 50. - Yeah, I mean, I could, it sort of makes sense. - 30, I'll go 35.

- [Rhett] 35. - I'll go 35. - So, you're really-. - Which sounds crazy to me. - You're really, really interested and committed. to hydration, but you're only gonna get, for something. that is with you all time. - Well, that seems-. - All the time. - That seems expensive. - 35, okay. - I mean... - So you're looking for a little bit of a bargain. - [Link] I could lose it, I damage it. - Okay, so that means that we are getting rid. of two more water bottles, including number 12, the Yeti Rambler. - Oh, Yeti, that's a fun, fun brand.

- Yeah, it's pretty. (bottle clatters). - Look at that, it's red too. - Link, I've also been putting my mouth on all of these, just so- - Oh. (people laughing). - Water boy's been doing that right before you. - Really? - As instructed. - Yeah, that's $40, Link. You're also saying goodbye to-. - [Link] Very solid. - Bottle number 10, Hydro Flask Standard Mouth. - [Rhett] Oh, oh, okay. (bottle clatters). - Oh, also $40, $39.99. - Great. - $39.95. - I'm a fan of Hydro Flask in general,

but the nipple's not soft, and the capacity is questionable, only 24 ounces. - And it's too expensive. for you. - And it's too expensive. - You can't afford it. (bottle clatters). All right, now that 10 out of 13 water bottles are dead. in the water, (chuckles). we're going to put these final three watery wonders. to the test. All right, Link, let's figure out which water bottle. you're taking home. - But first, I was wondering. if I could have a little private sponsorship moment. - Oh. - A little side project of mine.

- Okay. - I will be in Texas one month from today. for the last "Good Mythical Tour" show of 2024. I'm inviting all of my friends who work on my show with me. It's called "Good Mythical Morning.". - Like, who might that be? - We're doing that tour. Well, Stevie, Chase, Josh, Emily. You can get your tickets. - Is there anybody else? - GoodMythicalTour.com. Close friend of mine, his name is also Rhett. Not here today. - Oh. - Yeah, he's not here today. - Okay. - Dallas, November 15th, Houston, November 16th.

- Oh, I guess I'll have to be there. - So come on out. Yeah, check us out. - Where do I get my tickets? - GoodMythicalTour.com. - Okay. - I've said that. - That's convenient. (people laughing). Link, the magical, moistical moment is almost here. As we all know, a water bottle is the ultimate companion. By your side in good times and bad, for richer and poorer. This is why you need to make sure. your water bottle's personality is the right fit. Are they bubbly, are they too unfiltered,

or maybe they sparkle? Let's find out. Please say hello to bottle number one, bottle number two, and bottle number nine. Yes, that's just how it all worked out. - I can talk to 'em? - Yeah, feel free to ask these final three thirsty bottles. anything you'd like. - Well, first of all, hello, bottle number one. - [Bottle 1] Hello, guv'nor. - Okay, you sound like you're a professionally trained. water bottle, or at least, British. - [Bottle 1] Yes, yes, I've been around the boards, as they say, known to put on a show.

What can I tell you about myself? - I'll come back to you. Don't get too eager now. Hello, water bottle number two, how are you? - [Bottle 2] Oh, hi. (person laughing). - Hi. (people laughing). - [Bottle 2] Hi, I'm water bottle number two. Did you wanna know something about me? - Yeah, how old are you? (chuckles). (people laughing). - [Bottle 2] I could be 25 or 55, we don't know.

- Okay, I'm good with either of those. (Bottle 2 chuckles). All right, bottle number nine, thanks for being here. - [Bottle 9] Hey, big boy, thanks for having me. Hey, elephant in the room, yes, I am the younger sibling. of a very famous bottle, but unlike them, I'll do whatever. - [Rhett] Oh, okay. - [Bottle 9] Yeah, whatever you want, man. Stuff that they're too uptight to do, I'll do it. - Okay.

- [Bottle 9] Just ask, big boy. - All right, all right. - It's calling you big boy. - All right, I'm gonna go back to. water bottle- - How's that's make you feel? - Number one. How tight. - [Rhett] Oh. - Of a fit are you in a standard issue cup holder? - [Bottle 1] Oh my, what a question. Oh, I'd say I'd fit quite nicely into a standard cup holder. - Okay, you like a tight fit, though, or is it,

do I have to force it? - I see what you're getting at. you cheeky monkey, and yeah, I like it tight. (people giggling). - Okay, so you're saying your bottom is no bigger. than a can of Coke. - [Bottle 1] Yeah, I'd say that's about right. I'm about a Coke, yeah. - All right, that's what I like to hear. - About a Coke. - Do you get bigger above your bottom, though? - [Bottle 1] No, through and through, I'm the same, what would you call it, circumference, all the way up, all the way down. - [Link] Yeah, your girth is constant.

- [Bottle 9] Wink, wink. - Okay. Bottle number two. - [Bottle 2] Yeah? (people laughing). - How big are you? - [Bottle 2] Oh, it's not very polite. to ask a lady. - Sorry. - [Bottle 2] But I'm large. - Nice. (people laughing). I mean, if you-. - [Bottle 2] I'm large, but I fit- - If you were to put that. into ounces... - [Bottle 2] But I fit into most cup holders, ooh.

(people laughing). - Okay, do you get bigger at the top? - [Bottle 2] Yeah, I'm pretty top-heavy, I've been told. - All right, all right. (people laughing). That's what I like to hear. - [Bottle 2] And I've got a flexible straw. - Oh, okay. (people laughing). I like the sound of that. Bottle number nine, what about you? How soft is your nipple? (people laughing). - [Bottle 9] Oh, well, big boy, you'll be happy.

or disappointed to know that my top nipple is very firm. And you know what? If you like a tactile sensation in the mouth, it'd be pretty fun to nom on. Nom on my nipple, that's okay with me. - Okay. - And also, if you wanna hide drugs in me, I'll tell the cops they were mine. - Okay, no, I don't. (people laughing). I don't, thank you for that offer. That's not gonna be necessary. - [Bottle 9] I'll go to jail for you, big boy. - All right. (people laughing).

Thank you, bottle number nine. If I forgot that you had a nipple at all, and I just wanted to put my lip on your rim, would your nipple do damage to my gum, teeth, or lips? Because that happens to me a lot. - [Bottle 9] If you're going to the rim, which I encourage you to do, I would say. that my nipple might mess up your mouth. (people laughing). - Yeah, I hate that.

Yeah. - It's a firm, well-made nipple. - All right, I think I'm ready to make my decision. - Okay, Link, yes, the H2 moment has arrived, and it's time for you to make your final decision. Is your water bottle soulmate bottle number one, bottle number two, or bottle number nine? (drum roll beating). - Bottle number two. - Oh. - Is my choice. - Okay, well, before you meet your soulmate, let's meet the two eliminated bottles,

starting with bottle number one. - [Bottle 1] Hello. - [Link] Oh. - [Bottle 1] You could've had me. I would've made your dreams come true, mate. - And so you're a Takeya? - Takeya Actives Bottle. - That's right. - [Link] Okay. - [Rhett] 24 ounces, you know, it's got a lot of features. that you might like. What do you not like about it? - Everything, don't like anything about it. I actually don't think, I think you're a little too big. at the bottom, actually, to do what you said you could do. - [Bottle 1] Oh, well, (beep) off then. (people laughing).

- All right, get on with it. (bottle clatters). - Okay, and let's say goodbye to bottle number nine. (bottle tapping). - [Link] Oh. - [Rhett] You almost picked the Stanley. - [Link] Are you a Stanley? Yes. - [Bottle 9] Yes, I'm the younger sibling of the Stanley, and everybody likes them best. You'll regret not picking me, you'll regret this. (person laughing). Better have somebody else start your car for you, big boy. - Yeah, no. - So you're happy you did, you didn't want a Stanley. - Yes, I'm relieved.

I was getting nervous. that I was gonna be in Stanley territory. - And what don't you like about Stanley, the hard nipple? - [Rhett] I don't like the hard nipple, but I do like that nice, tight bottom. (people laughing) (bottle clatters). - And that means today's winner, Link's new water bottle soulmate, the one "To Have and to Hold" is bottle number two, the Hydro Flask Travel Tumbler! - Yes! You're-.

- [Bottle 2] You wanna hold me? - Well, I just-. - [Bottle 2] Oh, oh, okay. - Yes, uh-huh. You see that? - Oh, I like that. - You see that right there? - [Bottle 2] Yeah. - [Rhett] Can't hurt yourself on that. - Uh-huh. - [Bottle 2] It doesn't hurt me either. - So this is what you already have? This is what I already had. (people laughing). Yeah, hey, man, I would love to-. - This is, so I was told that this is-. - So how do you hang out with this? - I was told that this is slightly smaller. than the one that you have. - Nope. - [Rhett] 32 ounces is what you have? - I think it might be taller, but I would love to introduce you to my other friend.

(people laughing). I think you two would get along really well. - [Bottle 2] Very cool, I dabble in group stuff. - [Link] Yeah, yeah, yeah. So- - In the dishwasher mostly. - Right, right, and I love how your nipple will just come. completely off like that. - Ouch. - Like that, so if I just wanna keep your nipple. in my pocket, I can do that. - [Rhett] Hold on, you do that? When do you put the nipple in your pocket? - And then, that's really. satisfying. - We get it, you like my nipple. (laughs). - Yeah, okay. - You're the best. You're the best in every way.

- For your benefit, this is the Hydro Flask Travel Tumbler, 32 ounces. It's the Hydro Flask version of the standard Stanley cup. It's actually, we think slightly smaller than the one. that you've been carrying around. - I think it's shorter, yeah. - I think you might be doing a 40-ounce, and this is a 32-ounce? - Yep, yep, yep. - But, this means either you're about to replace a bigger. with a slightly smaller, or you already have the perfect water bottle for yourself, and you just confirmed it. - I did.

- What do you think about the color? - I love the color. I'm a huge fan of this. I feel completely vindicated. that my decision is perfectly in line with my prior tastes. If I'm anything, it's me. (people laughing). - Well, thank you, Link, for being here. - Thank you for subscribing and clicking that bell. Not a sponsor, should be. - You know what time it is. - I'm Wes. - And I'm Ann, and we just got married on top of a waterfall. in Iceland, and now we're lounging in a thermal lagoon. - [Ann And Wes] And it's time. to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. (water splashing).

- Well, we're in Burbank. (Link laughing). Click the top link. to watch us try the newest Halloween candy. with Gwynedd from Sporked to "Good Mythical MORE.". - And to find out. where the Wheel of Mythicality's gonna land. - [Rhett] The "Good Mythical Tour" is coming to Texas. Get your tickets to see us and the Mythical Crew. in Dallas on November 15th, in Houston on November 16th. at GoodMythicalTour.com.