How to Pick the Perfect Valentine's Day Card

There is a strategy to picking out the. perfect Valentine's card. Let's talk about that. Hi, I'm S. These are my theater students. and we're from Denmark. Good. morning. [Music]. Good mythical morning. You've only got. one day. One day, my friends. Not until. life is over, but until Valentine's Day. And hopefully it's not too late to pick.

out a card for your special someone if. you're into that kind of thing. If. you're not, you know, move on. Move. along. There's nothing to see here. If they're not watching this currently. and they're watching it a day late, then. it's hitting them right now that it's. Valentine's Day and they haven't picked. out their card yet. And uh wow, maybe we. can still help you if the day is not. over. Well, I I personally feel like I have a. lot to offer in this area. I see uh by. what you're going to show that maybe. you've got something to offer. Oh, yeah. I got something down here.

Now, I I will say that the anxiety. really raises in my heart of hearts at. this time of year because it's it's time. for me to prove my love. You know, that's that's how they've set this thing. up. Who's they? I'm not saying it's my wife. I did I say. that? I said they right. I said I mean. culture. I don't I don't mean it's not. anything personal. It's just, hey, this. is just it's just time to prove my love. I kind of picture your wife standing. there like this. No, no, no, no, no. It's not about her. It's just about the culture. The culture. of you walk into CVS and everything's.

pink and white and off red and it calls. to you and says red. You have to get a card and it's got to. be the right one. I mean, that's I mean, you got to do other things too, but if. you don't get the card right, it. screwed. It is an important element. And I have a. system that I feel like uh if you're. going to pick out a card tonight, if. you're watching this episode and you. haven't got one yet, Mhm. you need to employ my system, maybe link. system. I I think that mean there's some. truth involved. I have I have picked out a card. You act like you know my system just by. looking at my card.

Well, okay, I'm going to tell you my. system. Now, first of all, my system. doesn't technically specifically apply. to everyone because it just applies to. my wife. But you can take what I have. done and you can apply it to your. significant other and then pick the. right card. Okay. You have to find out. some things about your significant other. that hopefully you already know. Okay. I. know some things about my wife having. been married for 12 years. Really? I know that she doesn't like. run-of-the-mill stuff. Okay. So, she.

doesn't want a card that has a lot of. red or pink in it because that's what. all the cards look like. So, if I get. something that's a little bit different, that isn't just this huge flowery thing. with a bunch of red, and I know she. really doesn't like red. She prefers. purple to red. But. are you talking about you get a birthday. card for Valentine's Day or like a. bereavement card? No, I'm saying that get getting. something that's got like a big rose on. the front of it. That's a no no with. her. And she's never told me this, but. I've just interpreted this because I.

know she's not into that typical kind of. thing. Right. I also know, but she does want a card. She wants a card. Yes. Which that's kind of run-of-the-mill. I, you know, everyone gets a card. I also know that she doesn't want the. statement to be made in the card. She. wants the statement to be made by me for. a number of reasons for and I mean the. writing inside the card. Now, there's a. message inside the card that I got, but. it isn't the whole thing. She doesn't. want this really flowery poem that she. knows that I would never say and then my. name signed at the bottom of it.

What if you underline or even double. underline? That's what my mom does. certain certain. words. My mom sends you a card and she double. underlines and circles and puts stars. around certain words, right? And that's that's taking. ownership. She annotates it. My wife doesn't want. that. My wife wants me to have a short. and simple message and then she wants me. to write something relatively lengthy. So, you can't get a card that's got a. bunch of pictures inside. You got to get. there's got to be writing space. Another thing that she likes, she's an. artistic person. So, she wants if. there's some way that the card has some.

three-dimensionality to it. you know, the cards that have the the cut off, not. the cheesy stuff that comes off the. front, but just the tasteful stuff. She also doesn't want the. You know what I call that? More money. An an expensive card. And lastly, that is 3D. Oh gosh. Lastly, she doesn't want a funny card. because you know what? I'm funny. I. don't need my cards. I don't need my. cards to be funny. She wants me to be. funny. I'm funny all the time with her. So, this is an opportunity to be.

relatively serious. I don't need to make. a joke about h Valentine's Day because. I'm making jokes all the time. This is. an opportunity to change a little bit. So, this is the card I got her, Link. Now, there's a couple things. Show it to. us. It's got a little swingy thing on. front. It's got a medallion. Now, it has very little Valentine. necklace. Does that go around her neck? Now, she's really into antiquequy type. stuff and she's also into old picture. type stuff. This has got both of them. And then it's it's very simple and it. has on the inside it has life is what.

you make it and you're and who you're. making it with. I'm glad I get to make. it with you. Got a little double meaning. there. And then look at all this room to write. I can say I can pour my heart out on the. red. Whoa, whoa, whoa. I think you're only. expected to write on the white though, which you might want to use that to your. advantage. Like just glue this down with. some Elmer's and that way it's not like. well why didn't you write back here? It's like, "No, that was glued. I only. had this part." Cuz you got to think. about the amount of I agree you need to.

write to your wife. It's all about font size. Font size, but also I could go with like. a 24 size font, you know, and write a. few sentences, but I'm going to go with. a 12 font, small font, and write some. wonderful things on. Are you going to start on the white or. you just going for the red back here? Probably both. I'll probably have a 2B. continued. You're going to be writing back here. Don't write on the back because then. don't make the mistake of writing all. the way down to the price tag. It's. like, oh, he only paid four bucks for. this. How much was this, by the way? I think it was like seven bucks, maybe. five bucks. So, anyway, it doesn't say.

on the back. The the main thing I'm saying is you. have to just think about what the card. is going to say and it has to take your. significant other into account. And then. you you that's how your system works. That's how you can begin ruling things. out and you get down to to this. You. know, it's a process of elimination and. ending up with the perfect card for that. year. My system totally different and I think. that's okay because now you have a. choice to do the right thing by. listening to me. Okay. Okay. Uh first things first, this year. my card strategy was totally impacted by.

my card strategy last year. Okay. I. didn't get a card from my wife last. year. What? What? Okay. I. was it an oversight? It was a mistake. I was just think I. don't I'm not even going to go into what. I was thinking. Uh there's no way to get. out of the conscious decision. But yeah, well I'm I don't even want to. go into it. Okay. She didn't get a card. It was just its own thing. Everything was fine otherwise, but there. was no card involved. So this year I'm. going through and I'm like I ain't. getting the perfect card. This is great.

I was immediately overwhelmed by the by. the aisle and all the card. There are a. lot of cards there. Where'd you go? I went I went to CVS. Yeah. Okay. That's I went to Hallmark, the place that four cards. and uh so here's what I ended up doing. I ended up I ended up getting her two. cards. My strategy was I didn't get her. last year and get her I mean, hey, why. find the perfect card when you can just. find two cards that are that are. complimentary to each other and cover. different things? Well, why not have three cards? So, first I I got her this card. It's.

it's wrapped in in cellophane. I haven't. even opened it yet. I don't even know. what the inside of this card looks like. Well, it's on the back. It says, "First. of all, it leads with the thing that. matters most. I love you." Let's just. start with that. Forget Valentine's Day. This is about you, baby. This is not. about a day. This is about me and you. And I love you. It's got some jewels on it. I give you. lots of points for those jewels, right? And those jewels cost money. Yeah, they're actually real rubies. And uh on the back it said what the. sentiment inside is. I love you more and. more each day.

That's That's good. Happy Valentine's Day. Short room to. write. Lots of things in there even. though. And hey, it, you know, it came. in its own packaging, so it also costs. more. I gotta think that you get what. you pay for, but then I also I I feel. like you would be okay with just that. card. I I I feel like my system could. have resulted in that card. But then, so this is this is the when. you get up in the morning, like. breakfast in bed, card one. Card one. Okay. And then for date night, maybe I need a card, too. On on the night, I'm going to I'm going. to slide her the second card, which.

which has a little bit more focus to us. Now, I took a picture of it right when I. saw it because I was like, "This is the. card. Happy Valentine's Day." Then on. the inside, it says, "May your wildest. trashy romance novel fantasies come. true." Link. Well, you know, I again it. represents a different aspect of our. romance than just the old the mushy. stuff from the morning. This is the. evening card. So, but then but then I. started to realize, all right, there's. something missing in this card. This.

card can be better. The evening card. We could start a whole. new industry. I mean, you know how we're. always coming up with ideas and trying. to make money off of them and none of. them ever work. This is a good one. Yeah, I'll take. that. Yeah. This is like the sweater. What is. it called? The body beard. Body beard. This is like a whole new thing. The. evening card. No, you got the breakfast and bed card. and then you got the evening card. We sell We start a whole new segment of. the Valentine's Day industry. It's the. evening cards. And I think the key. I got to go get an evening card. I'm. running out of time. The key to the. evening card is personalization.

I just had to take it up a notch. You. know, I This is not This is not about. that guy. It's about me. Well, I kind of feel like we we need to. work on the technical integration of the. face. Yeah. My my printing my It's the printer. card. We need to call it jibjab, you know, so. we can actually make this work. correctly. I mean, the skin tone is way. off. You What you've communicated in. this is that the guy that you're. thinking about has a tan and I am pale, you know? You you just mark that up a. little bit. Shade shade it in a little. bit.

My face looks kind of chubby, too, by. the way. I got it. You're like a fat face. Pale man. Well, I didn't want to keep printing it. out, and I thought that was close. enough. Maybe I could have gone a little. bit smaller face. Now, do you have a pirate outfit that. you'll be wearing? No, but this is LA. You can get a hold. of those. There's a costume shop. There's a. costume shop down the block. Let's I I'm We're getting into this. private. Okay. What happens after the. card is private. I'll just leave it at. that. All right. So, anyway, I think we should. combine these two strategies or you.

should combine these two strategies. You. get a card based on the the the personal. preferences, the things that are true. about your wife. You could put your face on that though. Yeah. But see, I I that's that's card. two type stuff. Card one is like it is. what it is. Isn't this great? That could. be us. Imagine what it's going to be. like when we're old. I expect to see her wearing this. medallion in the days to come. Not a medallion. And then card two. Cartoon. is suggestive. Is the is does cartoon.

need to be suggestive? Well, I the other thing I like about it. is there is a level of comedy in there. I you know I'm going to. link for this. what he's saying every time he blinks. Wow. Okay. All right. I'm glad I never blink. because I don't like to forget what I'm. uh I'm glad I never blink because when I. do I uh forget I'm glad I never. what I'm so confused because I keep. forgetting. Just don't blink. Keep your eyes open. I.

think it's I think what's happening is. this is this. Am I blacking out or something? Because. I don't know what's going on. It's a disorder. It happens when you. decide to give two cards to your special. someone. Wow. Am I blacking out here? Because. every time I do this, I forget not only. what I'm singing, but what just. happened. What? [Music].