How Many Calories Are In This Junk Food?

Today we play blackjack with food. Let's talk about that. Good Mythical Morning. Nobody understands calories. No. They're right up there with the Coca-Cola formula and what. the hell Rock was cooking. That's one of man's greatest mysteries. I would burn my childhood brochure collection to know what Dwayne. was firing up on that stove. Well, we'll never know. But maybe there's still a chance for us to understand calories a little better.

if we turn them into a form of gambling. It's time for. Snack Blackjack Episode Four, A New Caloric Hope. Welcome to the Snack Blackjack Casino Zone. Oh, we sure could use a dealer right about now. Did someone? Oh, Stevie, why do you do that? You scared me. Yeah, that's right. I got you back. So this is like blackjack. You played it three other times.

Is that what you said? Twenty-one. That's the number. No. Every round I'm gonna set a number for you. Because you're not using cards, you're using calories. You're gonna be looking at the food up here and building. your little plates per round. Yes. Yes. And you cannot bust. You cannot go over the calorie limit that I set for you in each. Oh, I can bust. Okay, today's winner will be shown. Oh, I didn't even mean that. I'm just saying I can lose this game. I can definitely lose this game. I'm serious. Sorry. I'm serious. I didn't even think that.

Today's winner will be shown a breakdown of their own personal. nutrition facts, whatever that means. And we're kicking things off with loaded fries. So, I'm gonna deal you your first. hand. Rhett, you get two servings of sweet potatoes. Anything but sweet potato fries. Oh, sorry. Sweet potato fries. And, Link, two servings of. tater tots for you, sir. Now you may. begin. Your calorie limit for this round is one thousand.

calories. Ooh, one thousand. Who's first? You are, because you asked. Okay, so how many am I dealing with right here? Don't count the fries. I'm not counting individual fries. I'm counting the calories in my head. What that feels like in my mind. I'm gonna say it. Not out loud. I don't wanna reveal it. Yeah. You know what? Give me three meatballs, please. Never seen meatballs on loaded fries. I'm not thinking about that. I'm trying to win. Here's what I'm thinking about. I'm thinking about.

Thank you, Vee. What would I put on my tots. If you told me it was a thousand calories, I'd be like, okay, that sounds like a lot, but I want to enjoy it. So, what do I want on my loaded fries? I think I do need some cheese. Shredded cheddar is gonna do me the trick. And. they're kind of stingy. I need two servings of. shredded. cheddar.

Rhett. Okay, so far, I've got meatballs on my sweet potato fries. What am I going to add next? I'll take. two servings of ranch. Okay. Ranch is good. You know what? I think ranch has replaced ketchup as my go to fry dip. Sorry. Should of warned you. Now that I have my cheese base, I need some sort of, fried shrimp. Shrimp is a weakness of mine,

but I just discovered that shrimp is high in cholesterol. You've been doing some research? Christy told me. No, she does research. Then she tells me and guilts me into not eating shrimp as much. I'm gonna wait on the meat, because now I think I'm in. gravy town. Yes. Oh, God. Okay. Two things of gravy. The serving sizes are just so stingy. This is becoming, like, a poutine type. I was gonna say. You did also talk about ranch quite a bit for then going to the gravy,

but. Well, because, you know, I made him think about it. I'm just making conversation. Well, I tried, and then it, gravity. I was like, this show's too short. It's too short to wait for that ranch. We could clock wipe. Fruity Pebbles. One cup, please. Why. did you do that? You're making a horrible concoction. I'm not thinking about. I know you're not. Anything but the calories, man. He likes fruity balls. Do you feel like you're close? I'm not gonna tell you that.

I want meat now. And I can't do shrimp because I'm working on my cholesterol. I'll go with one serving of steak. Okay. that's nice. We're still going? Yeah. This is so tough. How about. You know what'll help? Thank you. That's so much. Does that make it better? Yeah. Looks like Link's been over here.

I do like. cereal. I would like, for my final act. two. tablespoons of spinach dip, which is just one cup. What a horrible bowl. Okay. What do I need? I need some color. It's very. bland, but I want it to taste good. I'll go with Flamin' Hot Cheetos, F-T-W.

Yeah, now that I look at it, it feels like I did too much. But you know what? This is all for fun. But you're holding, staying? Holding, staying, standing. Quitting. We never understand that one. You're still going? I feel like I might need a little something. I'm gonna play it conserve. B-T-W. F-T-W. So you're holding, standing, standing? H-O-LD. Okay. I gave you a one thousand calorie limit. We will start. with. Rhett.

You had two servings of sweet potato fries, one hundred and forty calories per serving. One serving of meatballs for two hundred and ninety calories. Two servings of ranch for one hundred and thirty calories per serving. One serving of Fruity Pebbles for one hundred and forty calories. One spinach dip for forty-five calories, bringing your total to. one thousand and fifteen. Oh, dang it. I knew I should have stopped.

You were only fifteen calories. Yeah, I was doing the math, and everything was exactly right. Except my ranch calculation. I was sixty percent off. Yes. I just need to be under. I'm glad I stayed conservative. Okay, let's see. You gotta keep it interesting. Link, you started with two servings of tater tots for one hundred and sixty each. Two servings of cheddar for one hundred and ten each. Two servings of graving for, graving, for thirty calories each. One serving of steak for one hundred and fifty calories. One serving of Flamin' Hot Cheetos for one hundred and seventy calories.

Bring your total to. nine hundred and twenty. What? Yes, baby. He took it. I did it. I did it. And I did it all on instinct. I should have stopped short. Ranch. Don't eat ranch. Or shrimp because of the cholesterol. Well, I know you were very sad coming out of the last round. No, you know what? I feel good about myself. I feel, you know, I still. I don't have to win. to have a great self image.

Well, I was gonna say. You know, I did the math in my head. I was a little bit wrong, but I'm still a good person. I was gonna say, it's escalating points. Oh, good. So you still have a chance to win. And this is the taco salad round. Oh, great. So, Rhett. As long as it's not, like a bowl made out of a tortilla, I'm gonna be totally fine. It is a bowl made out of tortilla. His weakness. Lettuce and a serving of guacamole. That is the green mush. I'm fond of the green mush. That lettuce is zero calories I bet.

And Link we have some Nacho Cheese Doritos. Okay. My weakness. And lettuce. And you may go first this round, because you. are winning. That's right. He is. Oh, and it's one thousand five hundred calories. That's the. That's what you're looking for. One thousand five hundred? I didn't want to start playing without that, even though. at this point, I wouldn't have needed to know. What do I want to construct? Because I'm still going with my game plan of a thing that I actually want to eat. The first thing that I put down.

is. refried beans. I think those are pretty high in calories. I'm gonna. take one of these and put that on there. Yeah. Thank you. Clean up my finger. Do I want another? No, I'll just stick with one. Okay. Interesting. There's still ranch up here. Can't go wrong. And if I had to really listen to how many calories you said ranch was. That's right. It was more than I expected, but I. completely forgotten what it was. Rhett, give me brisket.

Oh, don't be like that, man. Let's see. Don't make brisket seem unwanted, yet chosen. Okay, proceed. I wanted the brisket. You can still have it. Well, of course I can't get. Thank you, Vee. Okay. Ooh, look, we got some avocado over there. That's high calorie, but it's the good fat. Give me. one of those. Okay. There it is.

Please, hand me, two Doritos Locos Tacos. Okay. Why would you get? It's not about that, man. It's about math. You already have that. Please touch them gingerly. I've been told they are fragile. Who puts a whole taco? Me! On a taco salad? Is that what they call it a taco salad? I'm holding. You're already holding? I'm a little gun shy. Like, I really want a little bit more, but I'm so gun shy, because that ranch.

I've really gone, high cal here. But I would be disappointed if I didn't. have some sort of protein on here. We do have the beans, but. meat? Yeah, a meat. To me, a protein is just a meat. I know that's not right, but that's what it is. Oh, my gosh. My flavor, a spicy chili crisp. I'm obsessed with this stuff. Same, same. Not in this situation, but. But I'm willing to try it on this because.

it's crunchy, it's oily, it's spicy. I do like the way that you're doing that. You've already held Rhett, right? I'm holding this brisket in my mouth. So, what I need to do is decide if I need any brisket. You need some. You should have some just to taste it. He wants me to push it. He does. That tells me. that maybe I don't need to push. I need a little something. Just a little. Just to push it over the top. Margarita dressing. That is just a margarita, I've been told.

Can you grab. Can you grab this for me? Sure. Okay, good. So now I just have a margarita. Okay, great. Okay, excellent. So are you holding, staying, standing? Yes, I'm here. Okay. That is not the effect of alcohol. Okay. Rhett, you were served a tortilla bowl with lettuce and guacamole for. three hundred and eight calories. You added brisket for three hundred and ten. You added two Doritos Locos Tacos for hundred and seventy each. Oh, no.

Bringing your total. Oh, that's horrible. I thought these were, I thought these were at least three hundred and fifty. Look at it. It's so big. Dang it. Nine hundred and fifty-eight. Oh, dang. With a one thousand and five hundred limit. That's a bad showing, brother. You have underachieved. And Link, you were served some Doritos and some lettuce. for two hundred and one calories, refried beans for one hundred and twenty, avocado half for one hundred and twenty, spicy chili crisp for four hundred and twenty-two. That helped you a lot. Ooh, that oil.

Oh, no. That's so sad for, like, personally. Oh, yeah, I know. Yeah. I have it every morning. Every morning? Yes. Four hundred and twenty-two calories in that little thing? Yes. What a crushing day this is. And a margarita for two hundred and forty-eight calories, bringing your total to one thousand one hundred and eleven, which is one, one, one, one. And you won. I won. But. I think we lost, though, is the thing. with the calories and the spicy chili crunch.

Yeah, we did. I can't eat shrimp and I can't eat chili crisp. Can I add the chili crisp to mine? Oh, my gosh. Retroactively. And it counts? No. Does it make you feel. better about yourself? Okay. I'll just drink it. Wouldn't it be cool if before. every. episode of Good Mythical Morning, you could be presented with a couple of questions related to the episode? One could even be. see if you could predict something about what happens in the episode and the. other one could be like a trivia.

question. related to the episode. It sounds really cool, but we can never pull that off. Except we have. What? We have a GMM trivia game. It's available for free. for you exclusively on the Mythical Society app, which is also free. So, download the Think It and Sink It game. Well, you would download the Mythical Society app. The Think It and Sink It game is part of it. Yeah. And it's available for Apple, Google Play. Get your head in the game. Oh, get your head in the game? Yeah, that's, you know, get the app.

Welcome to the fairgrounds, boys. I called you not boys. Gentlemen. I feel like a boy. This is worth three points. Oh, I can still tie? You can still tie. I can still hold on to my self image and self worth? Yep, yep, yep. Okay. The calorie limit is three thousand for this round, so we're taking it up a notch. And, Rhett, you will be starting with. one of your favorites. Oh, it better not be a corn dog. It's a corn dog. I'm so glad it's a corn dog.

And Link, we've got a chili cheese dog for you, sir. I like it. I like it. You are the reigning champion. If you would like to pick first. Three thousand calories. Three thousand. Which, I don't know if it goes so far at the fair. No. Yeah, I think you can get there pretty quick. Ooh, tornado potato. Give me one of those. Ooh, tornado potato. Lando is obsessed with these. We have, like, a Sunday farmers market, and we go. Or he goes, just to get the tornado potato.

Really? Highly recommends it. to everyone he meets. Does he dip it? I think he puts. What's the reds? Ketchup. No, like the hot sauce. Sriracha? Nope. The bigger one. The milder one. Frank's? Nope. Tapatío? Nope, but it's better than that, and we all love it. Tabasco? What's her name? Valentina. Valentina. Yeah. This is a game within a game. Guess the sauce that Lando puts on his tornado. Do I get points for that? Okay. Oh, that was fun. Estimating what this is.

Okay, I'll take. two. churros. Two churros? And I guess I could go with a little bit more here if I wanted to. Well, it's my go. Okay. I'm just trying to make it move along, you know? I don't want to bore you. What do I want, is the question. I like a Dole Whip. It's almost like a drink. Okay. There it is. Very frozen today. I will take, why not?

Two deep fried Twinkies. Calorie bomb. I'm doing the math retrospectively. Because the math, you know? You're playing my game now. Yeah. I mean, I'm doing it now. I'm just saying that. A well balanced meal. Can you break one of those open? I wanna see inside of that thing. It looks like a tater. It looks good, though. How good is that? Ooh, that crunch. That is good. That looks so good, dude.

Maybe you should get one. That's the only way you can find out. I want a deep fried Oreo. I want to try that sucker. Try that sucker right now. And? Better than a normal Oreo. I wonder if it's better than your Twinkie. A giant turkey leg. Oh. Feels like it goes with your vibe.

It does. But I'm making choices, you know? It's like, what are the choices I'm making in life at this point? Am I making comedic choices? Am I making strategic choices? What about. What kind of choices are they? It's hard to tell. It's hard to tell. So far, I've been making bad choices. on all fronts. Yeah. I can tell you it hasn't been funny, whatever it's been. Yeah, it hasn't been funny at all. I think you should make a comedic choice. Do something really funny with that. I'm doing this because I've got deep fried Twinkie. on my fingers tips.

Oh, I declare. Do I need to use? Where do I go from here? A comedic choice. Where do I go from here, good sir? Comedy. Turkey leg. You gotta do it, man. I don't want embarrass myself. Do something funny with it. I mean, it's so. big. Like, what does it mean for me at this point? Okay. You still haven't picked it? No, I'll take it. Okay. Like, it's impossible to know how many calories that is. It's so much meat. It's ham on a turkey. Yeah. Why don't you like that?

I am a ham man, not a turkey man. But I don't like it when turkey tries to impersonate ham and trick. the ham man into eating turkey. Shooky, shooky, shooky. I got some work to do here. Screw it. Give me a turkey leg. Wow. Okay. You know what? Because I feel like I need something, I just. This one in particular, I don't. Give him this one. It's visceral. It really. I mean.

It looks like it could be from a person. You know what I'm saying? If you told me that was a person. My dad has a big calf. Yeah, he does. Your dad has a big calf. Our dads have big calves. These are our dad's calves. Yes. Oh, God. Let's bump turkey legs again. Because that was not gonna satisfy. Whoa. Oh, and once more. I think we're getting turkey juice on Stevie. Look at that. Look at that. Stop. There they are. So long. So tall. I do declare, that's some long fingers. The longest fingers in the internet.

Now, I have no idea how many calories this is. And if I overestimate. Smells like ham, too. Then I'm way under. If I underestimate, I'm way over. That's how math works. Because I have a number in my mind as to what this is. Three thousand calories. I kind of feel like everything at this point is pretty risky, because I also don't know how many these are. I don't know how many anything is anymore. I know nothing. other than I wish. I had used with my fingers. That's what I wish. This is probably a mistake.

Give me one serving of cotton candy. It could be a mistake. I'm gonna hold. Okay. And I. don't see anything else that I actually want up here, so I am also gonna hold. Okay. This is for all the marbles. If I lose, it's because I chose this stupid leg. Yeah, but we got to bump turkey legs, like, four times. Okay, Rhett. You were served a corn dog for two hundred and seventy calories. Okay. You chose two churros for one hundred and twenty each,

two deep fried Twinkies for four hundred and twenty each. One giant turkey leg for one thousand one hundred and thirty-six calories, and one serving of cotton candy for two hundred and thirty calories. Oh, I'm gonna be close. So, your total is two thousand seven hundred and sixteen. Yeah. Okay. All right. All right. I underestimated these a little bit, but I'm all right. A lot of celebrating for a man that doesn't know Link's total. I know. I'm just happy with myself. It's not about whether you win or lose as if you do your best. That's not true.

Link, you were served one chili cheese dog. For four hundred and thirteen, a tornado potato for two hundred and twelve, a Dole whip for one hundred and ten, a deep fried Oreo for one hundred and seventy-nine, and a giant turkey leg for one thousand one hundred and thirty-six, bringing your total to. two thousand and fifty, that means we have a tie. Oh, gosh. Please don't get upset. Oh, I'm sorry. It's time. for. the lightning round. Oh, there's a lightning round?

Welcome to the lightning round. I'm gonna give you something, an ingredient that you picked earlier that I told you what. the caloric amount was. And then you're gonna have to tell me what you remember that thing is, whoever's closest wins the whole game. Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Three hundred and eighty. A hundred and thirty. A hundred and seventy, Rhett, you lost almost everything, but you took home the win. It's all about how you finish. You gotta finish strong. And here are the Rhett.

nutrition facts. In a tank top. I'm two thousand seven hundred calories? Twenty-seven thousand calories. Total sugar is one hundred percent for being a sweetie pie. Potent. Ass-ium, what? And you know what? That was so fun. Let's just see what Link lost, shall we? I'm a ham man. Nineteen thousand calories, no fats, lots of tats, cholesterol-always losing.

Eleven cups of silver fox per serving. And lastly. Mouth herpes, yes. It's just a yes or no question. Thanks for saying mouth. And thank you for subscribing and clicking that bell. You know what time it is. I'm Erin, and I'm in Las Vegas. reading The Lost Causes of Bleak Creek. out at the Aria pool. Now it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. That's the life. Click the top link to watch us play blackjack with celebritie's. ages in Good Mythical More.

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