Frozen vs. Fast vs. Fancy Food Taste Test (ft. Bert Kreischer)

Do comedians have fancy tastes? Let's talk about that. Good Mythical Morning, and please welcome our. guest, wildly successful standup comedian and. host of the Cooking Show. Something's Burning on YouTube with its fourth. Netflix comedy special. Bert Kreischer. Lucky, streaming on Netflix right now. It's our friend Bert Kreischer. Yes.

Yeah. I thought we were doing a John Cena. We can do a little John Cena. You're the first person to think that's. what was happening. I love that. Last time we saw you, we were on your show. Yes. And now look at you. Now you're on our show. I'm so excited. And we're gonna eat even more. So you have no idea how excited I'm for this. We're we're good at eating together. Do you-- Are you--. Have you guys eaten yet today? We haven't eaten since that show. We've been building it up. Yeah. Yeah. It's been, it's been like a 60 day fast so far. Yeah. So good for you too. We're holding up really well. So the science in that is really showing up pretty.

Mm-hmm. It says it cures cancer. I've regenerated my entire body days a few times. You heard it here, guys. That's what cures cancer. It's time for Naked Foods. Naked Bert Kreischer edition. Naked as always, only the food will be naked. Why do we have to keep telling you that? Okay, boys. Throughout today's game, Bert’s Favorite Foods will. be served at low, mid, and. Fancy price levels. Each round you'll all pick your favorite, and. by the end we'll find out how expensive your taste.

buds are when it comes to Bert's faves up first. These are French dip sandwiches. These are French dip sandwiches. Yeah. Oh, how far you go back with the French dip, Bert? Oh, we're all starting here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A cheap one, I guess. And I'm gonna do, oh, well, we don't know. Why do you I'm dude, I am too. I am too fat not to look at, at a sandwich and go, I know where we're going. Right? Okay. So he's saying this is the cheap one. Oh, hell yeah. It's, um, but is it good? I mean, it's--.

So you guys really barely dip, huh? Like, I soak like, oh, like a calgon commercial. Oh, wow. Okay. Man, you're a real dipper. Did you, I mean, you're from Florida. Did you dip? Did you actually dip? I did dip and I loved it so much. Yeah. I got introduced to dip on the golf team. I mean that of all places. You're talking, you're talking about. The tobacco product. Yeah. Dip on the golf team. That's like getting introduced to porn at.

Christian Sleepaway. Well, that happened to me as well. Okay. Uh, this next one, we got lots of hanging off of things. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Here. Mm-hmm. The slices are chunky. This is definitely better. This is the high end. I can tell you right now, and I, you know why? I can tell. I'll give you a hard dip. Oh, look at this. This is gonna be so good. Look at that chunk of meat. I know, right? Don't judge a book by it’s cover, man! No. That's how you buy them, right? Yeah. Yeah. You definitely just by looking at 'em, cover.

Yeah. The titles on there, the author's on there. If you don't use that, you're just buying books blind. Right? I'll also say that Bert's actual favorite. is in this lineup. Oh, I know, I know. I spotted her right away. Do you think if you saw a picture of your wives naked. from the ch- from the head down, up against, up against. three other women, you could pick your wife out? Oh yeah. Alright, let's do that. I got a picture of my wife. Alright. Okay. Where's my phone?

Yep. Wow. Wow. He's liking this one. Well, well, that's way better, that's for sure. Mm-hmm. French dip. Uh, I'm not gonna say anything negative. Hold on. You're about, wait, you're about to say. something negative. This is one of the best sandwiches on Earth. Mm-hmm. Where, where are the others? Where are the other things? Mm-hmm. It's all about the dip, man. If you're complaining about being dry, that's. why the dip is there. I didn't complain about dry. I complained about the other things, like they, it is the. sandwich with nothing else. Mm-hmm.

I would ever, I would argue How big of a bite was that? That was a big one. See, I, I knew I could argue because he's gonna choke and. die and I'll win the argument. I would argue every sandwich should come. with a dip component. Yeah. I love. I'm not disagreeing with that. I would, I kinda be honest with you. What about Mayo? I would open up a food truck that just had dip. And I'd pull up next to other food trucks and go, Hey, you. wanna dip that in something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that idea. Alright. Alright, let's go for this third one.

It's not sliced in half, but if you want to, if you wanna. break it in half, I'm not gonna, I'm following the, that's, I'm gonna do, oh yeah. So this one very thinly sliced. This is a kind of an Arby's, uh, color to it. Do you notice that? God, you just so messed me up. I mean, I'm just, I mean, Arby's, I thought. I knew, I thought I knew what I was doing. Until this moment. Hmm. Look at that. Look at that. This is how bread, it's like bread's good, but wet bread.

Shut up. Yeah. Okay. Grab your flags. Okay. You're gonna make your choice in three, two. One. Yeah. I mean, it's just heads above the rice. It's so good. The bread, the presentation of the bread, there's a, there's. like an egg wash on the outside that these don't have. This one's the cheapest. I know that this is Philippe's and this one, I mean, the. fact that they roasted their meat and they took. their time with their meat. This meat is like, yo, we gotta serve a hundred of 'em. And that's Philippe's. We got a thousand of these coming out. Yeah. This one's like, yo, I don't care whose mouth this goes in.

So Stevie, you can leave. No, no, no, no. You can't leave Stevie. Okay, so yes, you, you identified that the. last one was Philippe, which is what you said. was your favorite one. That was our low price point for 13.95. That's the first one though, isn't the, yeah, so. that's the low price point. The first one's the mid price point. That's from Foxy for $17. Wait, where's Foxy and the one Glendale. I, yeah. And the one that you all chose was our fancy option. from Cantors for $21.50.

And I've gotta say, when you choose something. fancy on this series. Yep. Something happens. And I'm sorry, it's time for. The fancy pants chimpanzee. Okay, here we go. Okay, here we go. The chimp. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I thought it was a real chip. I thought it was a real chip. I thought it was a real chip. I thought it was a real chip. I thought it was a real chip. Okay. Okay. God. Alright. He's gone. He's gone.

He is gonna come out. Gone thought and rip your face on. He's gone. Gone. So unpredictable. They're so unpredictable, but he's gone. Okay. Alright. Okay. He's gone. Chimps are so unpredictable. They, the first thing they do is they bite. your genitals off. Yep. They do that. That's the first thing they do. And then they bite your fingers, your nose, your lips. You ever see that lady that got killed by the chimp? Yeah. Well, no, she survived. Yeah, she survived. Oh yeah. I don't know if we wanna call it that. Oh God. I, I think I would. I rather had the chimp eat everything. I thought it was a real chimp and I was like, I thought. you guys were so produced.

How would you guys bring in a chimp? God. I was like, where's a bow hunter when we need one? Oh wow. Jesus. That scared you. I, he was. I hope you can cut to the moment on my face. where you see that. I thought it was a real chimp and I went. I thought it was a present. Yeah. I'm never picking the highest ever again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Alright, who's ready for the rattlesnake?

This is chicken fried steak. Good choice. Bert. We're southern boys. Yeah. This is, this is like, this is a thick gravy right here. Oh God. With lots of um, yeah. I'll get outta your way in a second here. No, take your time. Take your time. What is in this gravy? I don't know. Looks a little high end. Oh, that's good. I love the pepperiness of a white gravy. Do you taste how tender the steak is?

Tender? Mm-hmm. Mm mm That's good. That's a thick gravy. This over here a little thinner. You think this? You think this guy right here could out eat you? 'cause I think he could give you room for your money. Well, it depends. The first time I ever had chicken wings, I had 55. Really? Yeah. I had about 140. Um, snails in, in Paris. I had, I had 30 ears of corn one time. When I go to McDonald's, I give them 200 bucks and.

I go, razzle dazzle, baby. They go, what does that mean? And I go, you win. Just whatever you think it means, you win. Okay. I'm gonna help y'all out while you try to out eat each other. There's, there's three pieces I think. I think you just gravy Bert's pants. That's okay. Sorry. By the way, this one made me gravy, my pants a little too. This one's thicker. You didn't, you didn't cut me all the way. Just, just do a yank, now you're, and a, and a, okay. And a that. Okay. I'm sorry.

You were no help at all. Really. What? That's what this, it's because what? What? We learned something. It's hard to cut. It's also hard to chew. Oh, wow. I'm still chewing my bite. Mm-hmm. It looks like they tried really hard. It's a big piece of meat. Got a nice crust on it. That one's so tender. This one's so tender, y'all. It seems like it's been processed for. Oh, a little bit. So take what you want. Yeah. Rhett, take what you want. Okay. Alright. The gitblets on top of this are very cubed.

I will simply say. I am gonna refrain from talking a depth, in depth. about this one, because someone invests in this. company, like there's a company right now, and. they're going, yeah, yeah, but that's what we do. And I go, yeah, but I don't think you should. serve this in America. This is really processed. This is, this is, by the way, first of all, hammered. 2:00 AM bachelor party. You bring out a bunch of these, I'm wolfing 'em down. They're gone. They're gone. But I mean, and, and this is the problem with. additives in America, is you go like, it's like crack.

You're like, okay, one more bite. Mm-hmm. It, it'll grow on you. It's, I mean, it'll grow something on you. Right. I know how you feel. That's why I'm continuing to eat this one. I can't help it. Okay. I think we all agree here. We know. What's that? Three, two. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, here we go. Ba, yeah, there's, that's the higher one, like a coriander. or something in there. Number two is not great. Where we’re in full agreement. Okay. You have all chosen the low price point option.

from Tom's for $13.49. No. Sometimes we learn this, that what a certain age. The burger place? Like this, the low is, can sometimes be the best. Yep. The one that you crapped all over in the middle. is the fancy option from Eaton Park for $23.95. And then the last one is our mid price point. option from Lancers. What? For $16.49. That's lancers. I'm so sorry. I love lancers. I'm so sorry. Yeah, I mean, you know you kept eating it. I know. It's really good.

These are sausage, egg, and cheese croissants. Yes, they are. Look at this one. Oh, wow. Has got everything that you want. Dude, look how flaky that is. Oh my God. Croissants are the best presentation of. bread, in my opinion. Oh yeah. So good. They're the best bread buttery. Oh my God. And by the way, I'm keto. Mm. It's spicy too.

What's, there's it spicy in there. It's hard to imagine being better than that. Hmm. What is spicy? There's a little bit. It's like jam. There's a jam in there. Is it? It's a spicy grape jam. Where is this from? We're gonna find out. I bet. This is also another round where Bert's. favorite is in the lineup. Well, who's what? Everybody does your favorite lineup. Your purported favorite. Now what do we got here? Oh, I see. My favorite. I thought it was a little weird to put grape jam. on something, but that's something that I would do.

to breakfast sandwiches. Yeah, that's good. So it's gonna be hard to beat this one. Oh, whoa. Look at this. Cheese. The cheese is white. I love it. That's American cheese is the best cheese in the world. The, the, you heard it here. Do, does any ever, any other country have a. cheese named after 'em? Have you ever heard Australian cheese? And don't use french cheese 'cause they just. do a lot of cheeses. Swiss cheese. Okay. Nevermind. Um, I can't think of another one right now. This is also really good.

Yeah. The croissant is very bready to me. It's not revelatory though. Mm-hmm. No, I had a spiritual experience on plate one. I did two, but I'm gonna tell you and I can talk. about this forever. Yeah. I remember the day these came out. I was, I was gift, I was gifted a life where I. experienced cell phones. Croissants, but like a, I like to experience a life where. the day these came out, my dad went to Burger King over on. Bears in Florida and he picked one up and he goes, buddy,

they're called CRO sandwiches. And I was like, what's that? I mean, I didn't know anything about France. I was like, I was like four or five maybe, and I. was like, I had to be 10. And I was like, dad, these are awesome. And I ate one of these every day for like my. entire life as a kid. And the other day I was with my daughter, we were on vacation. And I said, I said, you're so lucky there's a Burger King. on the other side of security. And she goes, what's that? And I said, you never had a croissant? And she said, no. And I went, oh my God, I've ruined, I've, I've finally. failed you as a father.

And she got a croissant and she called me back and she. goes, dad, this is so good. I got another one. I was like, yes. That's my girl, girl. Now she can develop a habit just like you. I love these. He's saying, this is Burger King. Mm-hmm. I'm saying, I agree. I think this is the best thing on the Burger King. menu anytime of day. Mm-hmm. Anytime it does, without a doubt. Easy, easy. Find out what year the Chris sandwich was, was brought in. I'm gonna guess it. You ready? $19.81. 3, 2, 1. Yeah. No, boys. I, I'm with you on the nostalgia. I know.

This is fabulous. Yeah, and I love the grape jam. It's spicy and everything, but. This is an entity. It's one, it's not thing, it's not a stack of things. It's one thing. Okay. 1983. Oh, that's how close you were? Eight three. I was 1983. I was, I think I was 10 years old and we had just moved to. our house over in Colbrook court, and my dad introduced. me to those, and he would get four, and I would eat. probably three every morning. It's the greatest sandwich in the world. America has.

America took what France had been doing for years. and we made it better. You did? Okay. I agree with that aid. I can get behind that. You're right. The one that you chose is Burger King. It's our low price point option for $4.89. The one in the middle is our mid price point option. from go in Donuts for 8 95. Which means Rhett, you have chosen our fancy option from. Alcove for $20, and I need to release the chimpanzee. Okay. Oh, sorry. So you just so you know, just so you know, it's.

always the chimpanzee. Yeah, it's always the chimpanzee. Yeah. But it's just a guy. Okay. It's just a guy. Okay. Same guy. Yeah. I think it's the same guy. We don't know which guy it is. Is his, is his vision good inside that suit? No. Okay. He's young. He's young. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I'm sweating now. I'm really sweating. Hey, he's gone. He's gone. Whoa. Yeah, he's gone. He's really embraced the role.

I am sweating. Yeah. All you had to do was vote for the Burger King dude. Uh, dude, I'm, I'm sorry. You're right that that's the best thing at Burger. King, but this is, I just can't deny this. That is pretty wild. These are drunken noodles. Okay, now you like these because you like the. taste or you just like the name, so, okay. No, I know what you're doing. The, uh, I, I had never, I, I was always like a, like a, a.

foreign restaurants, and I had drunken noodles one time at. a place called Rustic Spoon. Mm-hmm. And I, and it was been there, it was something. I'd never had before. And it was all the great flavors, all the great. flavors of Thai food crammed into one with a big fat. noodle that I could catch with chopsticks, right? I feel like this is real appropriation food, but it's awesome now. Lot of big veggie pieces in that first one. That's really good. Oh my God, that's, I mean, especially compared, and. that's a little spicy. That is a little spicy. That's really good too. That's flavorful. I like it. Now, a completely different color profile over here.

Yeah. These are the, I think these are my favorite. This one's an orange-ish spicy. Oh, I mean, wait, him taste. Why doesn't Doritos make a chip? This flavor? This is so why don't they just make, I want drunken sauce. I wanna put this on everything. Alright, here we go. Are we going for this one? This one? Because both of those are so good. I'm a little scared of this one. Well, not at all. Hmm mm This is, this is, it's spicy.

Yeah. That's about all I can say about it. Good God. Think, I think we're working with some frozen stuff, boys. So none of them are bad. None of them are bad. Yep. None of 'em. That's the thing with Thai food. If you had to live, if you had to be vanished to a country. for the rest of your life and you could only eat the, it was based on their food, what country would you go to? Hmm. Um huh. That's a really good question. Alright, let's start with, what country can I say here? What the country would you not go to? Well, I was gonna say, I was gonna say America.

just because we've got everybody else's food. Yeah, yeah. Australia has a good copycat of everything. Oh, yeah. You ever have a Ferg Berg in, in New Zealand? Yes. It's so good. Pretty good. Yeah. Uh, pretty good. I love the Schnitzels in Germany. I mean, Italy's an obvious selection. Japan crazy food. Right, right, right. China. I could eat Chinese food for the rest of my life. Um, you know, thankfully we don't. I feel like we don't have to make this choice.

Who has the best apple sauce? That's the wonderful thing about living in 2025. Well, you have to make a choice though. Or we do have to make a choice. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Hold, hold on. This happening too fast. Looks like we're trying to pick our favorite one. Like you need a nap. Okay. One Oh, yep. Yeah. I don't, yep, we agree. Bring the monkey out. That one's good. Bring the monkey out. This is drunken noodle. What? What? I ordered this the other night. I can almost tell you exactly how much it costs. Okay. Yeah. So this is your favorite. It's our mid price point from Rustic Spoon for spoon. $18. I was gonna say 22 with tax.

The first plate is our low price point option. from, from Thai Deli for $10.58. You thought that was the frozen one? That's the fancy one. The last one's the fancy one from Box Thai for $21.40. Didn't you think so too? I didn't think it was bad. That was trash. I know, I, I thought all of them were, I thought this. one was the best, but I thought all of 'em were solid. Even the cheap one. Rustic spoon though. That's the way to go. I'm glad a monkey didn't have to come out. Yeah, no crap. Keep the monkey in the cage. Alright, that was fun. Keep the monkey in the cage. That's the name of an album.

Be sure to check out Bert's latest standup special. Bert Kreischer. Lucky. Streaming now on Netflix and his hilarious cooking. show that we were on. Something's Burning on YouTube and go to bertbertbert.com. for tour dates and more. Thanks for commenting and sharing this video. Now you say you know what time it is. You know what time it is. What time is it? I'm Summer. And I'm Bella. And I'm Copeland. And we're from Clemson, South Carolina. And we just did a fast frozen, fancy taste.

test with ice cream. And it is time to spin the wheel of mythicality. It's as easy as it looked. Dessert would be nice. Right now click the top link to watch us predict. what Animorphs turn into in Good Mythical More. And if find out where the Wheel of Mythicality is gonna land. This week's Ear Biscuit is a little bit different. I'm going solo and speaking with Brittany Hartley of no. nonsense spirituality about spiritual deconstruction.