Forgotten Food Inventions Taste Test

We're testing vintage breakfast cookers. Let's talk about that. Good Mythical Morning. What sets humans apart from other animals is that we cook our food. And toilet paper. Mm-hmm. Contrary to popular belief, there is no toilet paper in the wild. I have seen an orangutan use toilet paper at one point. An orangutan? Orangutan.

Uh-huh. But what sets us humans- I mean, I bet you they could use it. They could. But they don't, like, manufacture it- Well, that's different … and distribute it. Do you manufacture it? You just use it. We- You might as well be an orangutan. What sets us even further apart is the unusual devices that we have created, I guess we are taking credit for everything- Yep … to cook our food. And humans have made so many that we can't even remember them all. Nope. So we bought five different breakfast machines that have been- Breakfast. machines … forgotten to time, and we're going to test them.

First up, we have the Bacon Nation… Ooh, this is hot. Hold on now. Coming in hot. Bacon Nation Bacon Master. Okay. Which, $20, takes about 10 minutes to cook. Well, that's what we paid for it. It, this is, this is no longer being sold. Oh. I mean, the company that makes this, Smart Planet, doesn't even exist anymore. But they made their last Facebook post in 2020. I think the pand- the pandemic got this particular company. They make a bunch of frivolous, like, cake pop makers and this bacon maker.

I've seen the commercial for this. I remember, or maybe- Really? Oh … I, I definitely have seen… I remember thinking- Must be hot … I. wish I could drape my bacon. As you will see, the way you cook this is by draping your bacon. I'm a great bacon draper. I mean, it's like a… Come on. It's like a barn. Put the pig in the barn. I don't wanna have to touch this bacon, but I'm going to. So this whole thing is m- just a metal It's, it's basically- Can you take the top off?

They… Yeah, I'm ready. So I can cook. They wrapped a George Foreman grill over a barn. Oh. That's, that's too far. Bring it back. Foreman. Boy, is it dripping. It's dripping a lot on this side. Bacon Draper sounds like a Halloween costume from about 10 years ago. Where you're like, you look like Don Draper, but the suit's made of bacon. What are you? Bacon Draper.

But- Haven't you heard of him? I don't think this is popular enough for people to understand. the reference to bacon draping. No, but I- I- One more. One more … no, I'm saying I'm draping bacon right now for the first time. I've always thought about this. They say it takes- I've dreamed about this … 10 minutes to drape. this, but it's only four strips. I, that's, well, those are, these are, these are wide strips. I can imagine there could be maybe five, maybe six, depending. on how thin your bacon gets. While we wait for that, um, we have a little game that we wanna play.

I- A ti- a time-wasting game. You need another time-wasting game in your life. This one, I don't know why it's called Ghost, but it's called Ghost. Well, because if you have more than two people playing, someone's. eliminated, they become a ghost. So it's like Duck Duck Goose. But nothing like Duck Duck Goose. But you start with a letter, you add a letter, and you try to spell a word, but. you don't wanna- You don't wanna be the last person- Right … to end a word. And you cannot turn the word into a plural at any point. Right. If you decide to, to add an S or to add an I-E-S, disqualification.

Sanctioning. D. I. F. F. E. R. E. N. C. Gotcha. Okay, hold on, h- hold on. Gotcha. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Give a- I. A. What? I c- challenge.

I think it's an alternate spelling of differential. Okay, that doesn't work. So you lost that round. Differ- different- that's not how you spell differential. Looks like it's a Rhett only spelling of differential. Thank you. I, I'm saying it's a European spelling of differential. All right, F. U. Come on, now. We are prematurely back from this clock wipe because we are impatient. So- But, well, hold on, but we have waited almost the entire time, I will.

say that, through crispy and traditional. There's just a little bit more to go, but…. So basically this should just be like- Traditional. bacon … traditional, but not crispy. Okay. I mean, maybe it is. And they say, "Listen, don't turn it over." But boy, Drapey wants. to drape this the other way. But Drapey's not gonna do it. It- That's floppy bacon, man. It just took so much longer- Yeah … than if you just fried. the bacon or microwaved the bacon. Microwave your bacon.

Or oven- It's really good. The, the bacon. Trust me. But also, yeah, there's so many different ways that we could have done this. Take these off. And it would've improved the process, I think. In- Is it less greasy because it, the grease just dripped down off of it? I mean- There's a lot of… Oh, my God, the, the grease in this pan is just-. So, okay, maybe that's an advantage. I don't know. And then you've got this thing- Do you wanna eat that? … that, I mean, you can't even… What, what else are you gonna drape? It's a one thing machine.

It doesn't do anything else. Now, that bacon tastes fine. That's 'cause it's bacon, and bacon always tastes fine. How come nobody eats with tongs? But this right here- I have chopsticks. Hm. All right. I just feel like it's a good t- utensil. Second use idea. All right? No bad ideas at this point. What's happening? I am warming my socks. I'm actually gonna take this out so that it doesn't… Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Hm. This, it feels like an odd choice to me. So I am, I'm not soaking my socks in grease. It's important that you take this out before you apply your socks. And then you just crank that puppy. Are warm socks important to you? I mean, are warm towels important to you? What about a towel that goes around your foot? I wouldn't say that it's important.

If warm towels are re- are important to me- That is … I would have one of. those towel racks that keeps things warm. I don't have one of those. I should get one of those. Now I just like, when they come out of the dryer, it's a special moment and I just. like- But do those towel racks really work? I think they do. Or does it just make it hot in one spot on the towel? Just like, it's… You know what I'm talking about? Like, it's just- Whoo … just the middle. Oh, yeah. You see that right there? Touch it. Feel how it touched- Oh, it's warm. It is warm.

Wow. That's really nice. I mean, that is really nice. This is called Redemption for the Bacon Nation because … Now, it definitely smells. like- Yeah, that didn't help with … That did not … It was already kind of a. little stinky in here- Some sort of like-. 'cause this thing is old … carcinogen, sock carcinogen thing is happening. But I think we're- Ooh … evaluating this based on breakfast, not socks. So we're gonna say that the- I'm just, I'm just trying to sweeten the deal … the. Bacon Master is a Breakfast Blunder.

Blunder. This is the Miracle Mist Cooker. It uses mist, well, steam is what I call that, to cook a variety of foods, from vegetables to fish to omelets. We're gonna be cooking an omelet today. This is, uh, metal. Yeah, it looks like that Teflon. Teflon. We think this is '70s, '80s. We don't have confirmation on that, and I'll tell you why. Not only because of the light brown, uh, color of it. The first thing I'm gonna do is I'm gonna put water in here up to this. measuring line right there, and- And then I'm gonna throw this back in there.

Yep, and then hand me that Pam. Pam. You wanna do the honors of spraying? I believe in you. No, I don't. Okay. All right. Uh, okay. This thing will cook fish, uh, and what else? Shellfish, poached fish. Anything that you wanna steam. Perk up leftovers and awaken flavors. Yeah, let's awaken some flavors. There's the- This is like I'm at a fancy place, but it's- No, no, don't.

That's, nope. Come on, I, I'll take over here. Then the what? I'm just, you know, I'm just, we're not- That's too much? That's too much. We're n- we're not gonna go crazy. I wasn't gonna pour it all in there, of course. Yeah, you weren't. Okay, uh, okay, now we, with the cheese, we can go a little bit crazy. Yeah, go, go hard with the cheese. But, you know, I, I wanna… If I worked at an omelet station, I don't want people complaining. I want to do, to get it right, so- Did people in the '70s and '80s not have steamers? I mean- Well, a steamer is typically something you'd just do on the stove.

I'm plugging it in now. Okay. What? I mean, it is cool. The fact that we had to pay $65 for this thing. What's cool about it? It looks cool. It kinda has this UFO quality. It's got…. It's simple. There's no on/off switch. This thing right here is just a decorative coolness. Is that a speaker in there for when it- Like Bluetooth?

Yeah. But do you not feel- I think it might be what buzzes. That you, that it, it kind of is… I don't know. I feel like this was capitalizing on, like, people in the '70s and '80s, as. things were getting a little bit more, like, technological advance was happening. and people's kitchens were transforming. Uh-huh. They didn't stop to think about what they actually needed, and so there was. this era, '70s and '80s, where people were just saying yes to things just. because they could be put on their, come in a box and put on their countertop.

And then they were like- Yeah … "Hold on. What am I doing here? I'm steaming food. I could be steaming food on the stove. There's no way this would ev- Yeah … this ever had a chance of going along." What. you're saying is no one ever stopped to think if they should- Needed it … because they. were only excited about that they could. Right. That's what the '70s and the '80s were about. Yeah. B-L-U-N.

T. Oh, what? I'm glad. That's it. I'm glad. That's the end of the word. Yep. Unplug it, please. So there's no on/off switch, as we established. Whoa, look at this. Oh, look how fluffy that is. I'll drink that later. Link, grab that out of there- … and plop it down on our plate here. Look at this. Oh, I should have put my other glove on. But that still is some- Sorry.

Get that- Don't just push it into my lap. You know, push that… Sorry, sorry. Crazy. You look at, you, you look at me with so much outrage. Well, 'cause you almost made me have to go to the doctor to get my pee pee looked at. Burnt, burnt pee pee strong on it. N- Strong on it? What the hell is wrong with you? Burnt pee pee strong. Okay. You know what this reminds me of? This, what does this remind you of?

The thing that, um, José Andrés told me how to microwave a thing, and I made a whole. how-to- If you go to the Mythical Society- … on the Mythical Society … you can see. how I make a José Andrés microwave omelet. Let me just say a few things. It looks like this. It takes about a 10th of the time, and, uh, I bet you it's better. There's a lot of cheese on it and boy- It's like a big- It does. look hot … um, Egg McMuffin. But it smells like a 1980s appliance.

The egg doesn't. The appliance does. At least it doesn't smell like burnt pubes. What? That's what's about to happen. If that thing went onto me, it would've gone through. It would've burnt my pubes. You're wearing, you're wearing pants. It would've gotten through, man. I, it, it, it- Well, you gotta manscape for, for moments like this. This tastes good. That's unnecessary when you can just use a glass … I mean, j- just what,

what, what he said is what he does. What I'd already said. And that's what you should do. I mean, I'm just saying. Or, yeah, y- if you want this exact type of omelet that has this very specific shape and. is fluffy like this, do it in the microwave. And it's still a Miracle Mist without this taking over your counter. So the Miracle Mist Cooker. Breakfast Blunder. Breakfast Blunder. Now we have the Hot Topper, which lets you spray butter or syrup on the food. of your choice, and it, I, I l- I mean, it looks like a mixer from the '70s.

This is from the '70s. But you push this button here. Ooh. And there's this metal vat that is perfect for- A stick of butter And we don't even. have- We paid $40 for this … a full stick. We don't know what it sold for. We just know that in 1987, the LA Times featured the Hot Topper in an. article that was titled, "Hey, Turn on the VCR and Warm Up the Popper. It's Popcorn Time.".

Hot Topper. Research. I mean, this is definitely the type of thing that, like, "Grandma's got one. of these, and when we go to Grandma's house- She's just spraying butter. everywhere … we're just putting butter on everything" Chasing us around. And hot syrup is kind of a nice thing. You know what I like doing? Butter and syrup together. Oh. Again, what I do. And, and you could do that. Microwave. I know I'm a microwave boy. My, my name should be Rhett Microwave. But, um, take butter and syrup together, put them in the microwave, mix them,

heat it up and mix them, and then just take that beautiful mixture and pour. it all over your pancakes or waffles. Thank me later. But, uh, this may be better than that, 'cause once this thing gets hot, you can unplug it, and then it's portable and it's, and it- So Grandma can chase you around with it … yep, stays going for up to an hour it says. So I don't, I don't know if it's quite ready. Well, it's g- it take, it w- it, it takes, they said it takes two minutes. Oh. So we should play one of our games. Two minutes? To warm up? We, we should play our game. All right. Play our game.

G. L. U. There's definitely words in here. T. It sounded like. Glut. Let me try this. Oh, ooh. Oh. Oh, spray time. Oh. Oh, look at that. It's just a bunch of spray. G-U-L-T.

Keep going. You got it. And then there's a … You can take this tip off, and there's other tip- Oh. Aw. There's other tips you can put on. Sorry. All right, so that one's buttered. And … Oh. Grandma, come on, now. There we go. I don't wanna s- Grandma, I don't wanna see that. I mean, it's a lot more butter. No, no, no, I don't wanna l- I don't wanna look at that. I don't wanna do that at Grandma's house. Hey. I'm out … I mean- Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. It's t- I mean, until I'm done, I gotta keep going.

Hold on, hold … You know what? Let's just see. Let's just see. I've got some toast over here. I think I'm over. Um, I'm gonna be using the traditional method of buttering. And I would like you to be using Grandma's method of buttering. We'll stick that here, and let's just see who can go faster here. Let me … I've got just a nice stick of butter that is, you know, room temp. It's been out for a while. I need another stick of butter as well, 'cause … Oh, no, there's plenty in there. It's just- Oh, yeah. You got plenty. And, uh, let's p- take that plate and put it in between us, and we'll just, as we. get, as we finish, just 'cause I wanna know who … You know, I wanna know if.

you've got an advantage with that thing. Oh, a he- heck if I do. Ready? Go. I mean, that's just nice. My thumb's getting tired, but I feel like I'm getting a lot more- I feel. like we're going exactly the same pace. We're going the same pace, but I'm getting so much more butter than you. What? No you're not. Look at how much butter's on that.

Yeah, but you need to kinda like- Do what? This is perfect. Grandma would be so proud. Grandma would be so proud. Grandma's, Grandma doesn't have to be dead in this scenario. Grandma can be proud. And then if I just lay these out like this and use my other. thumb- No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. And then I can even unplug it because who needs that? I'm beating you right now. Oh, you're not beating me. Grandma's gonna give me so many kisses.

So many kisses. 'Cause she's not dead. Okay. Well, there's my stick of butter. Ha, I beat you by one. Mm. Now, one of those in there had a lot of butter on it. I mean, and then look, you can just keep going and going and going. Presto. I love this thing. Can I have one? Is this one of your butters? We haven't even get… Butters.

Just one of your butters. Ah. Hm, I love butter, man. Who came up with it? Cows. Sh- you sh- gently shake a cow, out come butter. I don't, cows don't know they're making butter. And we haven't even gotten into syrup, dude. I think this thing- Hm … definitely worth $40. Hot Topper- Breakfast Wonder. We wrote a kids book. Here it is. It's called Spaghetti Head and Chicken Fingers.

It comes out later this month. To celebrate, we are hosting a reading and meet and greet at the. Grove Barnes & Noble- Mm-hmm … in Los Angeles on Sunday, June 14th. If you're in LA around June 14th, come by and get a signed copy of our book. You need to get a ticket, and the link is in the description. Limited quantities available. Yeah. Okay. So you know, we've learned recently that, uh, since the 1960s, tabletop slicers like this,

they've been a common household appliance in- If you live in a Jersey Mike's … in. some European households, like Germany. Oh. Because they prefer their- You live in Germany … unsliced bread and their. unsliced pieces of meat and cheese and stuff. In America, we just go to the grocery store and they've done all the work for us. Have we been missing out on fresh sliced ingredients? Well- Let's find out … based on my Jersey Mike experience, yes. Right. I mean, this is the, this is the key.

This is the key. All right. Here we go. Pull it, pull it back now. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. How thin are you slicing? I'm starting on three. Let's see how that… How… The thinner, the better. Okay, I'm gonna go a little bit thinner. I'm gonna go to two. We paid $43 for this used. Is that doing it? I mean, it's, it, it, the, the- It's very cheap … the fidelity of this, it's. like, it's like going all over the place. It needs to be metal. The one at Jersey Mike's is not like this.

I think you should, you should adjust it when the meat's back here instead. of pushing it against the meat. Do you know what I'm saying? I got it now. It's working. Is that doing it? Yeah. Yeah. Feels like you could get your sleeve at any moment, but…. What's happening over there? Let's see the results. Okay. Are you, are you getting, are you getting addicted to it? I mean- Look what I made for you … so that's as thin, that's as thin as you can get it. That's pretty, that's pretty good though. Pretty nice. All right.

Let me slice some other things. Rhett, it looks like it's rocking on the cable in front. Like, maybe if you shift where the cable is it won't move as much. Sadly, I don't think that's the case. I think it's just- Isn't that a little cable notch, like right underneath- Oh. Oh, oh … the tower part? Look, the, the table notch is over here. Look. Oh. Cable notch. Sadly, I think you're correct. Okay. How about that? How about that, Chase? I mean, it's still pretty loose, but let's- You like that?

Let's see if I can get even thinner. Well, hold on. You're still doing the meat. Do the- Yeah, but just, just for a second because- Do this tofu … I know how, I. know how, I know how thin you like it. It's so thin it's just bunching up over there. Also, this whole thing is off the track. It's not cut the, uh… I mean, this thing is a piece of crap. Okay. Okay. So now I'm back on the track. All right. Give me a mater. I mean, this is better than sliced at the deli Slightly thicker And brought home.

So fresh. My backup career. Jersey Mike's. How can I help you? How's your day going? I couldn't work there because you have to remember what the numbers mean. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Look at that. And I dialed it in. Link, you know what? Grab that lettuce, and could you please bring in the buttered toast?

Because I believe that you guys have set us up to realize that we are making. BLTs, and I'm very happy about that. Did you, you realize that? I just realized that. You want ham? I just want ham How's your day going? I want ham on mine. Ham, bacon. How's your day going, friend? Some fresh lettuce?

Fresh chop. Fresh slice just for you, friend. Throw some on there. Ooh. Okay, we got plenty. It's, it's, you know what? There's no lettuce short- shortage. That's nice. There's no lettuce shortage. Okay. Now, I mean- Mm-hmm … it's under there if you wanna make your own. Okay. I, I put ham instead of tomato on mine. Okay. Thanks for helping then your brother out. Um-. Freshly sliced tomatoes I like having a Jersey Mike's in my kitchen.

And that. As long as you have somebody to operate it. And another one of these. Splendid. I think is what they would say- Hmm … in Europe. Wow. You can just do this in your house in Germany? Mm-hmm. Man. I kinda like it. I c- I can picture the family gathering around to see how. thinly sliced their items are.

Everybody's excited. Look at that. It's like Christmas morning. Look at that. You don't get that in America. Mm-mm. Mm-mm. You can't get that in America. I mean, you don't even get that at the deli. I mean, what have you even done? I've basically made slaw. It's amazing, dude. Yeah. Are we tr- are we, are we too excited? No. No, of course we're not. We're saying Krups slicer is a Breakfast Wonder. Breakfast Wonder. This ingenious device is the duplex whipper.

It was- Oh, oh, is it like a for a punishment? My, um, my elbow just farted on the table and I just wanted everyone. to know that that was not- A fart. I mean, if that's what my farts sounded like, then my butthole would be made of wood. So I just want to be clear about all of it. George Washington had a wooden butthole. Yes, he did. Yep, he did. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. And he, he, he brushed it with varnish every morning. Anyway- It was made from cherry wood … this- Let's keep going with this. This was patented in 1919.

I don't- By a guy who… You don't care who it is. It's Eugene C. Brull. I really like the ingenuity of it. I mean, you turn this one thing and then you put it down into cream and it whips. it into, you guessed it- Whipped cream. But Link- There's two- They make these that aren't manual … there's, but it goes. in different directions, isn't that cool? That's so cool, man. Like, there's a, there's a gear here and a gear here, and they go b- on the same.

wheel, and it turns in different directions. Like a, like, like one of those helicopters where the blades don't touch each other. Yes. Isn't that amazing? I'm so amazed. Can you m- can you whip it? It doesn't look clean. Can you whip it good? I think I can. You think you can play our game and whip at the same time? It's not, it's not as easy as I hoped it would be. Yeah, if you take over in the middle.

L. O. N. G. It's working. Oh my gosh. N. Wow, people's forearms used to be really strong. L-O-N-G-N. Challenge. Long neck. Oh. Yeah, long neck bottle, brother. Here, take over.

Try, finish that for me. Okay. Uh. C. It's hard. It's … D- don't, don't go … Go more gentle. Well, it's getting thicker. It's, it's, like, really thickening up, which, hey, we've basically. made whipped cream at this point. It's like, when you stopped and then I started again, it, like, immediately gelatinized into cream. Look at that. 'Cause it knew it was in good hands. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that. I'm gonna put some of it in my coffee. Ooh.

Oh, I got an idea. I really, I wanna g- mix it nice. I'm gonna get it nice and mixed. What? Oh. Okay. Well, that's gonna be a problem. What the- Ooh. What did I do? Oh. I made too much this morning. Okay. Thank you. Okay. That's perfect. Big mug is, is really paying off. Look at that. Yeah, don't hesitate.

Oh, oh, God. I think if you were normally just trying to whip, would it take longer than that, Nicole? Yeah, if you're using a whisk, I think it'd take a little bit longer. But not by much. Perfect. But it's so ingenuity. I think you can keep that on your counter as like a, I don't know, some. sort of like Cracker Barrel aura. Don't look at my face.

Don't look at your face? Mm-hmm. If you're, if you're grossed out by that… Listen, there was a whole campaign. There was a whole campaign about milk- … where people did th- this, right? I mean, and they were, you know what they were selling? Milk. And then we got soft. We got soft as a society, and everybody's like, "Ew, milk on the lip.". I'm, that's not gonna make me want milk. That happened? The whole milk campaign grosses people out now? Yes, it does. Got Milk? They don't, they don't do it anymore because this is gross to people.

Unless it's like a really hot girl. Yeah, maybe you're the problem. Ka- Kathy Ireland. I mean, do we- Unless it's Kathy Ireland. We like this. Remember Kathy Ireland? Oh, yeah. She's not from Ireland. That's a shame. Duplex Whipper. Breakfast Wonder. Breakfast Wonder. Well. Hmm. I really had a good time. Mm-hmm. Kinda makes me wanna rediscover breakfast.

I'm gonna get some of that. This is my favorite part. Thanks for commenting and sharing this video. You know what time it is. Hi. I'm Alexa. We're in Philadelphia, and we've got the wheel today. And it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. So they're all named Alexa? It's like a meetup? Yeah, and they're all half the stuf- smay. Whatever you do, do not Google egg lady pink flamingos.

Why? Egg lady pink flamingos. You want to, don't you? You do. You want to. What could that be on Google? But don't. Don't. Egg lady pink… Don't do it. Hmm. All right. I kinda wanna do it, but I'm not going to. Click the top link to watch us guess crayon colors in Good Mythical More. Attention, LA Mythical Beasts, get your tickets for our Spaghetti Head. and Chicken Fingers event at The Grove Barnes & Noble on June 14th now.