Dumbest Ways To Make Coffee

Can we find a mind blowing way to grind coffee? Let's talk about that. Good Mythical Morning. Waking up early would be so much easier if morning activities were more fun. You gotta get dressed. You gotta take your dog out. You gotta do your ninety minutes hair care routine. Not to mention coffee. Drinking coffee is fun. Making coffee. not so fun. It involves my least favorite kind of grinding.

For now, it's time for. Fun For Your Lives. Coffee Grinding Edition. Before we begin our experimentation, let's remind ourselves how boring. it is to just grind beans the normal way. What is that, from the seventeen hundreds, Link? I don't know. It's like it's got a handle. What's gonna happen? What? Oh, gosh. I'm getting so bored. Spare me. I'm grinding. Grinding. Let's see if I can be any more boring than you. Boring.

Look at us. Bored. I mean, not only am I bored, I'm also getting tired. It does smell good, though. I'm not getting tired. You did it. You did it. It's over. It's over. Look at us. We really went. Went for it. And. all we have to show for it is boredom. We gotta find better ways to grind beans.

Okay, pain in my butt number one, and number two. Today you'll be deciding how fun each alternative coffee grinding method is. Using the Fun-O-Meter. And the winning item will be placed atop. Funder Mountain. Oh, yes. Yes. First up, do you like your coffee black? Don't answer that. I know how you like your coffee. How about blacksmith? Just reveal the thing behind you. It's an anvil. And a hammer.

We have a. Bag of coffee. Bag of beans taped to the anvil. Welcome to my shop. What will it be? Oh, you're the smithy? I'm the smithy. Yes, I'm the blacksmith. That's me. Smithy the blacksmith. What'll it be? I'd like a small. sword. Did you say coffee? No, I said. All we make here is coffee. All we make here is coffee. I take a hammer, and I hit my anvil,

and I never made a sword in the past three years, because the sword business sucks. The coffee business is really looking up. I like a hatchet of some sort. Like a. Did you say coffee? A hatchet, like a sharp hatchet. Or maybe a brooch. I think this is actually working great. Could I have a brooch? Well, it's. It's definitely coming out. If you want a brooch, you'll have to go see Derek.

Derek the blacksmith. I thought that was a funny name for a blacksmith. Okay. Are you making coffee? How do we get. We just, like, slough it off of the anvil? I mean. Just take the bag. I was having a little fun. I don't know. At this point, I'm having some fun. Oh, look. Here we go. Put that in there. Do you need some help?

I haven't perfected this part of the process. with the bag. Oh, this gets very fine. That's very coarse. This is coarse. It's so. There's four beans in here. This is not. This is not very consistent. I was having a tough time seeing. into my bag. Coffee expert, Chase. Does it matter? Oh, yeah. Does it matter if it's uniform?

I mean, if you want good coffee. Okay. Comparing it to. Oh, okay. It's not as good as your boring coffee. It's definitely not as good as my boring coffee made by a machine. Yeah, you didn't. I could have. You didn't do a uniform job here. Well. But it was fun. We had fun. My mind wasn't blown, but. I really felt like I was in, like, a medieval period. I think with practice I could get better. I just think I needed to hit it a little bit harder.

A little bit more. I just didn't know. I didn't want to overdo it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's your first time. You just put it back in the bag. Every blacksmith has to hone his craft. You know what I'm saying? So we're going with mid. Mid? Yeah. A little bit on the high side of mid. I had upper mid fun. Upper mid. You ever find yourself out with your buddy clearing brush, and then you realize where we're, we're out here, and now we forgot our coffee. We could send Dwight out on a coffee run, but.

we can't get in touch with him because he doesn't have a cell phone. because he's afraid of five G. But we did bring all of our coffee, and we do have our wood chipper. Let's get inventive. Apparently, it just sprays chips down there, so we're gonna be spraying some finely ground coffee down there. This is a good idea. Okay. I'm told that it's loud. This could be a legitimate, like, bulk grinding situation. that if, like, the coffee truck that you ordered for the wedding, this is a more realistic scenario.

Didn't show up, and you got a lot of coffee, you got a grind, and for some reason, you didn't get. ground. Pre-ground. You got whole bean. Right. That classic mistake. Yeah. Turn it on. Just kidding. Just kidding. I didn't put my hand in that part. I put my hand in the handle part. Yeah, that's funny, man. All right, that's loud, though. A little. A little bit fell in. Turn it on. Action.

All right, pour it all. Pour it all. Yeah. That thing hurt. We're really making a mess. We're making such a mess. Okay. We probably should have, like, collected it in a different way. Why didn't we put a bowl down? I don't know. I think we needed a giant. We needed, like, a trough of sorts. Yeah, we didn't put anything down there. I don't know. Well, let's sweep it up and see. how it compares. I'm just gonna get it.

I just want to get a view of. How it compares. Okay. How it compares. Yeah. That was fun. And it's just as ground. It's a coarse grind. It's actually a little bit better than your coarse ground. Look at that. See that? Yeah, it is. And it's pretty consistent. And it's food safe. I don't think you could go fine, but I think you could do coarse. And Chase, you said, coarse is good for a cold brew? Yeah, yeah. The coarser it is, the more you're gonna get something like a cold brew. But if you go, fine. This is not good for, like, espresso.

You wanna just run some cold water through it, now? What if we reground some of it? Oh, yeah, let's do that, double grind. Put your hand under it. You quickly dump it out, and then hand me the bowl, and I'll put the bowl below. Okay. This is a great idea. Okay, I'm gonna dump in the hand. Okay? I'm gonna dump. You grab. Go ahead and even have your hand on it. On what? This? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It. really does hurt what's coming out down there. Double ground. Some velocity. that's happening. I don't. I don't. I didn't love to feel it. He didn't love the feeling of it. That made it less mind blowing. It's not that great, guys. Before that. I really wanted to love this. I wanted my mind to be blown, but so far, I'm just like. And even when you double grind it, it doesn't get any better. It's like, this is as fine as it can do.

Not quite as fine as you need it to be. I mean, damn, if you can't. even grind beans, how are you supposed to grind a limb? Well, I think. Not a human limb. I think that would be adequate for a limb. You're making mulch? It made great mulch, but it didn't make great coffee. Yeah. They need to rebrand this thing. There are so many options for what kind of creamer you can put in your coffee. You may get confused with all the options, but if you want to know what the best creamer is,

listen to this. You just go to sporked.com and type in creamer. Make sure you're on sporked.com before you do that. What type of. What type of creamers are you talking about? Hazelnut? Hazelnut, vanilla, french vanilla, dairy free. I don't know. There's all kinds of stuff. All of them. Are they good? I don't know. Ask Sporked. Creamer. Search it. All right, listen. You want to get up in the morning? Get up and go. A little exercise can pep you up, and a little coffee can pep you up. But now it's time for a breakfast revolution.

Now, I thought. I might. Dance Dance Revolution. I think. Yeah, I got it. For coffee. I was hoping, just between you and me, and the internet, I was hoping I would make it my entire life without ever having to do this. Like, it's twenty twenty-four. I've never done it. And I was thinking, I thought I missed the window. And by this. No one would ever ask me to Dance Dance Revolution, but here I am. But do you mean grind. coffee beans by D-D-R?

Oh, I can grind. I can grind. I know. Okay, whatever. All right, listen. I don't know how it works also. This is different. Well, we're gonna dance. We're gonna do the game. We're gonna dance. And there's coffee. bags under here, under each one. Okay. We're gonna crush it. Let's dance. Literally. Oh, it's kinda slippery. I'm not a dork. I'm not a dork. I'm not a dork.

I'm so cool. I am a dork. I am a dork. I'm owning it. I'm so cool. My dancing consists of me putting my feet in four different places. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Grinding. I'd really like to have my coffee before I do. Grinding. Grinding. I'm grinding. I'm grinding. I'm grinding. I'm working up a fart. Okay.

You know? I mean, I can just feel one. when you. When you bounce that much. Let it out, Link. All right, are we done? I hope so. I don't know. I felt like I was really making progress when I started to grind. Because when we. When we look at these, what do we have here? I'm just gonna get a little bit more work done. I mean, this one is the most ground of mine. This is not impressive. I mean, I'm a little winded.

I'm concentrating, really, I'm just one. But I want you to look. What have I done here? I just have coffee beans. Like, mine aren't ground at all. Yeah. I mean, there's some stuff down here, down in the very bottom of this ground. You like my new dance? I think that you'd have to dance in heels. So do we want to clock wipe and come back or what?

I think we should just say that. Oh, no. What just happened? I didn't know that there was glass attached to the. Party foul. My mind is blown by what I just did. Hold on. I think I made. What did I just do? Look. I broke something. I don't know what it was. Look at that Link. I did it. Yeah, but you weren't actually dancing. No. Are we still in meh territory?

Well, let's just get a load of it. Hey, where's that? Where's that piece of glass thing that I was gonna pour this into? Well, it's gone now. Oh, okay. So I'll just kind of pour it. Put it on the black table so we can see it. Oh, okay. Look, these are just. Whole beans. Whole beans. Just like what I had. Okay. And, wow. Yeah. But. on the bright side, we looked super cool. Yeah, we did. Dancing. Yeah. In my opinion, I'd say. you're not a dork, but. I think this was a fail. Okay. Chase, we're not a dork.

It didn't work, and it wasn't for lack of commitment. Yeah. I'm so embarrassed that we. I didn't have any fun. We're right here in bottom line meh territory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pack it up. Could America's favorite pastime be America's funnest. way to grind coffee beans? I hope so, because we haven't found anything that's blown our minds yet. Okay, so this is just one of those trainers, right, that's got this ball, right? And then we've got this canvas bag, right? Yeah. Full of coffee beans, right?

Yeah. I'm gonna hit it with this wooden bat, right? And it's gonna hit. that, and it's gonna crush that. And then I think it's just a game of repetition. We just. Okay, this is one. Did you feel it grind? It ground real hard. Was that supposed to happen? Okay. Is that like a home run or? Well. I mean, it's all back here, dude, and if I were to start.

Okay, do we have another bag? If I were to look at these. Yeah. Let's see what happened. I think you just busted. I had fun. I didn't even get to do it. I had fun. I had fun. Hey, Link, just do it, and listen. Just do it and pretend that there's beans in there. There's not even. You got. Doesn't matter. This is about. I feel like after the last time that we did a little father son. role play, I feel like I took things too far,

and I feel like I may have damaged you and potentially some of. the members of our audience, and so I just feel like. I need, like, a redo, so. But, Dad, there's no beans in here anymore. Junior, it doesn't matter. What's the point, Dad? Listen. You destroyed it. Hey, hey, listen, junior, the thing that matters. is that you are having a great time. It's really just about the action of swinging. The results don't even matter. That's great. That's great. You also don't have to do your homework. It's great. And we love the little pictures you draw.

that are. Oh, yeah. In your stance. Oh, I love your stance. I don't believe you, Dad. The way you're not stepping into it at all. It's perfect. Yeah. The way you look like you're not having a great time. I love it. Oh, I love you so much. Do you want me to step? I want you to do what you feel is right. There is no right or wrong, okay? It's are you having a good time? I'm missing. It doesn't matter. The point is not hitting it. The point is just being present.

Are you present right now? There's no beans, Dad. Just, can you just be present? We're supposed to grind beans and it's on the floor. It's okay. We can get. We'll go get coffee. Hey, are you upset with me right now? Are you upset with me right now? Because it's okay if you are, sometimes I deserve it. I'm a human just like you. Yes, dad. I make mistakes. One of them was not having you when I was young. and not really knowing how to be a dad.

That wasn't one. That was. I bet you if I could do this with, like, beans in there, my mind would have been blown. Yeah. I mean, it was gonna be awesome. It was gonna be awesome. Yeah. You wanna load it up again? Yeah. All right, now we're getting serious. We have loaded some new beans into a new bag. That's right. And we're wearing high heels. Yep. Here we are. So. Careful.

Yes, yes, yes. Grind it. Yeah, grind it, grind it. Grind it, man. Like your form. Okay, let me. And then there it goes. Give me a second. All right, let's see what's happened. Oh, yeah. That's a nice little squat there. Over here.

Over here. Oh, yeah. We're gonna see what we got here. And dump that out. Oh, yeah, yeah. I think it's. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I threw everything I had at it. Yeah, you did. So that's not great. But. But we had so much fun. We had so much fun, I feel like. I feel like if we could reinforce the connections there a little. bit and do that all afternoon. I don't feel like my mind was, like, completely blown, but I feel like my mind was,

like. Just blown. Like. Just like, breeze. Yeah, we were just blown. We were mind breezed. Not fully blown. Which makes this the best one. Bring in Funder Mountain, because the most fun you can have grinding, no matter how old you are, is in high heels. and a baseball bat. atop. Funder Mountain, where all the fun happens. There it is. We did it again.

Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell. You know what time it is. Hi, I'm Leslie. I'm Nick. I'm Noella. We just finished taste testing. a lot of different flavors of coffee. Now it's time to spin the Wheel of Mythicality. Raising them right. Click the top link to watch us discover the best grocery store prepared foods. with Gwynedd in Good Mythical More. Head to sporked.com and search creamer for rankings of the best. coffee creamers on the market.