Don't Touch the Art!

I went to the art museum and learned. something about. myself my name is philli and my name is. Victor we're from Uso. Norway let's talk about that let's not. on. [Music]. [Applause]. there good mythical morning this episode. is brought to you by our music go to R. link.com /music which will ultimately. take you to iTunes where uh we'd love it. if you were to buy I am a thoughtful guy.

and also leave a review on iTunes yeah. you know rub some bacon on it actually. peaked at number 11 on the iTunes comedy. charts link that's the best we've ever. done if you guys would go and buy I am a. thoughtful guy comment on it rate it. maybe it'll Peak maybe it'll get up. there maybe you'll break it into the top. 10 and then we can take ourselves out. for. dinner you know what Brett you deserve. it I'm taking you out for dinner we. broke the top 10 I'm going to buy you. a uh Cheese Bar.

now you told me uh that you recently. visited a place that I have visited just. prior to you the Getty museum this is a. huge you went there recently Art Museum. I went there like three months ago it's. a world famous art museum um right down. the road from depending on traffic it's. anywhere from 10 minutes to 48 hours. from my house yes right you know that's. how La works you never know the Getty. the Getty it's named after a dude with a. lot of money who I think paid the most. money to have the thing made his last. name was was Getty Getty and it's it's.

like it's not just a m it's a campus I. mean this thing is looks like a small. University up there on the hill as you. go by on the 405 well it was it was um. in celebration of a Father's Day that we. decided to go and Happy Father's Day. thank you forgot to tell you thank you. for that tap on my shoulder a little. late I'm sorry Father's Day belated pat. on the shoulder um see you know happy. birthday by the way a couple weeks ago I. never told you that either thanks R jeez. good good friend you know it it makes me.

feel like more of a father if I feel. like I'm culturing my children. culturalizing huh especially if you. don't have to buy tickets I love that. now you do have to pay for parking so. it's $15 so jam as many people as you. can don't pay for tickets yeah but you. have to go up to the top of this hill to. park on there no you park at the bottom. and then you take a tram up there the. tram is free too it's a work of art the. the train really what not really it's. just a tram but it's very artistic when. you get out yeah it's amazing. everything's white and it looks like.

you're you know you're at some castle at. the top of the thing yeah oz so I I take. my kids up there and um we're strolling. around before we go into one of the many. buildings that contains art mhm and um. I'm very quickly struck with the fact. there's a lot of sophisticated Europeans. with pursed. lips drinking Heinekens really yeah. that's kind of the vibe you kind of got. to open your mouth up to get a hinin in. there no not really you a wide. mouth hinin doesn't come in wide mouth. should it's not like a Kors light can.

that wasck that was the joke so so yeah. so they're out hin with a straw you know. paying $15 apart they're just going out. there drinking their drinking their. hinin now I love you Europeans you're. Sophisticated You Make Me Feel inferior. cheese is great the cheese is great. that's is where this is going they. didn't I I think they s there a cheese. exhibit no moldy cheese that's in the. modern art section no or the grocery. store should just let you talk I'm sorry. you're getting it confused you're the. one with the purple ven you I I saw you.

looking at my shirt I could tell you. were about to say something about the. purple I have two purple buic so I'm not. going to say anything if you would have. been up there I guarantee you that 80%. of the people had purple shirts on. pursed lips and sipping hinin out of. straws and you know what I am now that. sophisticated or at least like to think. that you do have artistic glasses so we. we we have this what is it family yeah. it's a wife and a couple of kids and we. got I call him a pod we got to people.

pod is what I call it we we we signed up. for this family tour and the woman you. know she's quintessential she's wearing. black pants with big black riding boots. coming up to her thighs and big thick. rimmed black glasses quintessential. Horse instructure no quential art lady. Art House lady um so she's I we want to. make this a family a family exercise we. want everyone to be involved I'm going. to take you through the gallery and I'm. going to show you some things and you're. actually going to create.

some art based on what I show you this. is exciting but before we start we. didn't do that I want to tell you rule. number one don't touch. anything just like they are obsessed but. not touching anything and then she says. she's not even looking at the kids she's. looking at me like she's picking me out. of here you're responsible for the kids. well because she knows I like to I like. touch things I guess or something she. said now if you look at this tile that. we're walking on the floor She said if.

you touch that there's oils on your hand. and if we all decided to touch the floor. the floor would eventually disintegrate. so don't touch don't a thousand years. like we're walking on the floor that's. stupid and it you know and it I just. remembered at one point a little bit. later my kids took their shoes off and. they were walking around and somebody. came up and said put your shoes I like. the fact that they're all possessed. that's good about touch it no don't. touch stuff well we go to a painting.

doesn't me pause you because when when. we went in there we went into one of the. modern art exhibits because I'm always. just sort of amazed by what people. there's no modern art at the Getti dude. yes there is there's a whole building. with modern art in it oh and and there. is um there was an an artist that was a. resin artist and this dude's art was. very simply it was just blocks of. resin and I was a little confused shaped. into like I was like where is the art. that this is holding up is you thought.

pedestal it is the art an empty pedestal. we walk around and it's like there's. this huge Tower of resin I mean we're. talking about one of the most resilient. things it's resin you patch canoes with. this I mean this that's going to be here. a thousand years from now and so of. course and it's in the middle of this. room so my kids just go up and just. start swinging on it I mean they like. just go up and just get on it like let's. see how high we can get to the top oh no. and then there's but and there's this. huge shine that says do not touch do not.

walk on the platform that isn't even the. art that is holding the art that looks. like a platform itself which my kids are. now on and the woman is like she's like. she she turned into Satan is what. she don't touch the artwork I know it. looks like a pedestal and I I had to. apologize for my kids and said sorry. sorry lady sorry yeah I remember the. first trip we ever took to La we went to. the Getty Museum on with like a group of. people remember and I remember going up.

to a renoa oh that's you know how to. pronounce it I can't I think it's a Reno. actually no so I remember going up to it. and I wanted to get a good close look. and then I was like oh yeah look at the. brush details right here and then out of. nowhere somebody comes off remove your. face from the painting sir slapped my. finger away and said do not point at the. painting and I felt I was like what. there's no signs that saying no pointing.

we should make a movie that's about. exercising the people who work at the. art museum do not point at the painting. do you know why because cuz because I. ask why and the person said because you. know the voice clear up they said when. you get close to a painting your your. brain tends to feel like you've entered. a world so then when you point you will. Point farther than you realize you can. and what will happen you've touched the. reeno and you touched the p and there's. no coming back from that there's no. coming back and then so I did not touch.

anything my kids don't touch anything. because you know I'm a good father yep. happy Father's day but there was some. 60-year-old dude who was walking by a. piece of art with a big French piece of. furniture underneath it with like a. marble top and all of a sudden I see him. walk across the room I'm like meeting. him and he's like going he's walking. down the thing and he's. going like solid touching. it hundreds of times and he's halfway. down the thing just like.

just like it's like he's slathering. mayonnaise on it he's like loving that. maybe he was maybe he was the artist and. I you know no lie some some dude Sprints. across the room and says please do not. touch the AR and the dude was smiling. and he was just like he he didn't think. he was talking to him because the art is. hanging up on the wall this is Furniture. man this is just a f piece of furniture. I'm just this is how I enjoy art I touch. the nearest piece of furniture but the. thing that I learned was the thing that. I appreciated most was the garden if you. if you go to the Getty go outside to the. gardens they are amazing the landscape.

and I realized I I'm I can appreciate. this garden with the waterfall and like. the manicure bushes and stuff but I just. felt because I just felt like I couldn't. get anything from the paintings and the. because I concluded at least this is my. theory is that in order to truly. appreciate something you have to. experience it you know I I don't think I. can appreciate the Reno Reno what did. you call it just say Reno before the. people say it's.

not it because I've never attempted to. paint and if you attempt something and. fail you're even more likely to. appreciate the people who are like. painting these things that are they're. building edifices to then Placer them on. the wall I mean I never have made I have. patched knowing why that's worthy I have. patched a canoe with a resin um but I've. never just made a block of resin so and. I don't appreciate. the blocks of resin now I've never.

gardened before but it's pretty easy to. to you know imagine how you can how. tough it is to shape a bush into a a. slinky which is what I don't think it's. ever been done I don't think that's what. he called it a slinky Bush I don't think. you're incorrect but I think your your. theory is incomplete because golf no no. hold on a second you can't watch golf. unless you trying to play it there's a. dude who just this past. weekend took a tight walk wed a tight. RPP across Niagara Falls I've never.

experienced that but I can appreciate. that but you you've you've tried to. balance on like a line of bricks on the. edge of everybody has a point of. reference for something but it's just. like but the point of reference for. balancing is more Universal I don't. think it's necessarily experiencing. something that causes you to appreciate. it I think it's understanding something. and that may come with experience see. the thing I don't like about just. understanding something is that someone. can teach you how to look at a painting. or to taste fine wine and to kind of.

pick it apart but it's but it's still. not the experience of and trust me I. tried to make wine and it tasted like. dirt and cough syrup or I tried to paint. something and it looked like an. alien and it wasn't an. alien you know I I don't think you can. replace it just by someone teaching you. how to appreciate something I think the. first step to appreciation is. understanding and the second step to.

really appreciating is experiencing put. that on a buffer sticker and let's end. this episode let us know what you think. oh. goodness go to the go to the local Art. Museum don't touch the art and tell us. you know how it makes you feel and try. to do this try to do a Monday through. Friday talk show with a dude yeah that's. right and and then you might appreciate. this more yeah come on. people team with headphones link old man.

so you're the team with. headphones hey you want to go get a pack. of. nabs hey boy turn off them headphones. all the time I look at you you're. wearing them headphones can hear you. grabs turn it turn off the headphones. what is that you're listening to I asked. you if you wanted a pack of nabs get on. my face old man hey don't you talk to me. that. way give me it oh it's pretty good I. like this like musical navs.

[Music]. [Applause]. [Music].