Calling My First Girlfriend

It was seventh grade and I got my first. girlfriend after she was my first. girlfriend. Let's talk about that. Hi, I'm Luke from. Oxford. Good mythical morning. [Music]. This episode is brought to you by. ibackwards.com. with the amazing. application on on your iPhone. Record.

something, it makes it backwards and. makes it easy to put it on YouTube. I love doing things backwards. It's so. regressive. Recently on Good Mythical Morning, we. discussed Leslie, your first girlfriend, and the whole experience of that. Yep. And now it's time for me to talk about. my first girlfriend, Leslie, and the. whole experience with that. Take the floor. Okay. So, um, the end of sixth grade, we. established you guys broke up and then. it was summertime when you. heartbroken. when you, it took you all summer to.

recover and then I had made up my mind. the moment I heard that you, Rhett, my. friend, had a girlfriend that now I. needed to get a girlfriend and it might. as well be Leslie because not only is. she pretty, but well, she was my best. friend's girlfriend. So, I mean, that. good enough for him, good enough for me. kind of thing. seemed like seemed like. that was a good thing to do. But I. couldn't do it over the summer because I. too did not go to the Lilington pool. I. didn't live in Lilington. I lived in. Buoys Creek. Why did she come to Buoys.

Creek school? She should have gone to. Lilington, by the way. That's. interesting. Because I think her parents thought. properly that Buoys Creek was a better. school. Smarter kids went there. I I think that was the case. I mean, I. went there. Yeah. So, seventh grade rolls around and. I mean the I don't remember a lot about. everything that happened, but I I do. remember that even though I was poised. to have a girlfriend and that I decided. that I did like Leslie, that I I took no. initiative. Well, that's why I've had this skeptical. look on my face for the past minute,

Link, as you talk about your. I didn't I didn't approach her. Yeah. I mean, you this wasn't the hunter. and the hunted. No, I'm not like that. She asked to go. with me. And I I mean I think that I. guess that's a bragging point. She asked. to go with me. Not directly, of course. I'm I don't remember this part, but I'm. pretty sure she probably went through. Amber. Of course she did. Yeah. I mean it was after all still middle. school, so. yeah, you can't speak to intermediary, right? And uh I mean it was a it was an easy.

yes. I mean. of course you got to say yes to life. Well, finally she's she's asking me to. ask her to be my girlfriend. Now, let me. quickly give you my perspective on this. because I have a theory and I've held. this theory for quite some time. Okay? Since middle school, okay? Uh and that is uh I recall that year in. particular, seventh grade, suddenly. suddenly out of nowhere, all the ladies. being into you. I specifically remember. the cologne. and I was just like, what? I was like, what has happened? Got something in my Christmas stocking.

What has happened? Cuz we've been best. friends for a long time. You know, I. obviously, as we've established in. previous episodes, was already. interested in ladies and. 90% of your thought process. pursuing ladies, being successful some. portion of the time. But I remember, you remember we used to. be ball boys for Campbell University. soccer team, the the local college team. They were a. good soccer team. Me, you, and Michael. Jubie. Uh you you were a basketball boy. or whatever they're called, so you kind. of moved over from there, but I was only. into soccer. Yeah. Yeah. I was I was uh. I consider myself a celebrity amongst.

the college. And I remember we were. sitting there on the sidelines, me and. you and Michael JB all on one sidelines. sideline and I was looking up in the. stands and you were at this time you. were going with Leslie and of course I. was still heartbroken and I was looking. up there at her and she was looking at. you. and I just started looking back like. you wanted to kill me. No, no, no. I I was like I was analyzing. you're my friend. I was happy for you. Okay. It's like what is it? And then I. realized. What do you mean what is it? Wasn't it. obvious? No, it because it was so sudden and then. I realized it was you lost your baby.

fat. Ah, okay. And if you if we I have some. some uh evidence here. If you go back. and look at your school pictures from. prem school to middle school, the cheeks. there was at least a 40% decrease in the. size of your face in general and the. shape of your face. And suddenly I turn. I ladies were just going crazy. But the thing I remember is not knowing. at all what to do and like being really. timid about, oh, I got a girlfriend now. I didn't I don't even think I told. anybody. And you probably found out.

through the girls. Well, I couldn't have told you what to. do because you know about my history. with Leslie. Even that I was in a relationship and my. status had changed. I don't even know if. I was going to talk about that. But I. remember we had been going together for. a while and then one day Leslie comes up. to me. I was like, "Oh, my girlfriend's. coming up to me. This doesn't happen regularly.". Yeah. And I remember she said, "Why. don't you call me?" And it was at that. moment that I realized, "Guess I should call her.". Yeah. Why don't you call her? And I'm. like on the on the phone and I'm like.

from a distance. Leslie. and I'm immediate I remember being. immediately like sweating and thinking. about it. And so that night I was like. oh I remember looking at the phone and. this is one of those phones that like. plugs into the wall. This is we didn't. even have phones with the not much less. cell phones. Oh yeah. And I remember. thinking I had to call her. And the. difficult thing at this point in time, you know, kids these days, they get. cellular telephones when they or a. mobile phone, whatever you want to call. it, kids, when you when you're in. kindergarten. But back when I was a kid,

you had to look at that phone, stare at. it, decide to pick it up, dial numbers, and know that a parent was going to be. on the other end of that line. I was. gatekeeper. I was going to call Leslie, but her dad. was going to answer the phone. Cecil was. going to answer the phone. Yeah, he was. He's a nice guy, but he's still a dad of. a girl, so that's intimidating. And I just remember I mean, hello. Can I speak to Leslie? I just remember.

it's like the what's the fewest amount. of words in like the the most undertoned. way I can say, "Can I speak to Leslie?". He's like, "Is this Link?". I like, "Oh, he's heard about me.". Well, first of all, Yes, sir. Yes, sir. A as a parent of a. of a girl. who's going to get calls at some point. Mhm. Uh, I'm going to be answering that. But, but don't you think there was a. little bit of a I mean, no, a little bit of a, you know, playing they were playing a game, you know, see's good naturatured. You. know, he's thinking, I'm going to I'm going to give this boy. a hard time. I'm sure they were I'm sure they were. staving off laughter. It's like, I just.

seems so. but you couldn't send him a text. message. You couldn't go online. You. couldn't go through the community and. send him a little message in the chat. room. You had to go through the. gatekeeper and you had to go through the. parents and you might get the dad and. you might get the mom. You wanted to get. the mom because the mom was like, "Okay, this." And the dad was like, "I'm going. to give the I'm going to bust his balls. a little bit.". Mhm. Mhm. So Leslie gets on the phone. and at that point I realized I have no. idea how to carry on a phone. conversation with had you thought about. girlfriend. No, I hadn't thought about. it ahead of time. I mean, I didn't think. I was going to get past Cecil. I thought.

it was just going to be a fail. I could. go to school the next day. I called you, but you know, your dad through. I probably called three times and hung. up and you knew it was me or something. And she get So she gets on the phone. She's like, "Hey." And I'm like, "I got. to I got to come up with something off. the top of my head.". So I I just went with the classic. What are you doing? She's like, "Nothing. What are you nothing? What are. you doing?" I'm like, "Oh my goodness. It's back on me already." I'm like, "Nothing. I got I'm literally doing.

nothing." I'm like calling you. I'm talking to you on the phone. That's. what you wanted. Can you take it from. here? You thought when she You thought cuz she. led you here, she was going to keep. leading. Why don't you call me. now? You talk to me about. I mean, tell me what to talk about. You're a girl. You're good at talking. And so I was like, nothing. And she was. like, "Okay." And I was like, I was just, it. was just like in the desert in the. desert of conversation. And so it was. like awkward silence. And then I was. like, "Okay, see you tomorrow.".

And I hung up the phone. And I was like, "That was good, right?" I mean, it was. something. It was progress. I made it. past the gatekeeper. I go to school the. next day. There's a song about this, by the way, that can't you can you download this on. iTunes? I think it is on iTunes. The middle. school girlfriend song where we both. talk about our experiences with this. And yeah, part of this is in there. I. can't remember how much it's been a long. time since I've heard the song. But um I. realized, okay, I got to do better than. that. I remember developing a system and.

I was going to call her. I waited a few. nights, get up the courage, got past. Cecil, got her on the phone again, and I. decided I was going to write down. physically on a sheet of paper the. things that I was going to talk about. an outline. This is good. So, I wrote down one, what are you doing? I It It wasn't bad. It's a good place to. start. It's a good place to start. And then I. was like, two, done your homework yet? Cuz she probably hasn't. Maybe she has. And that could lead to things. There's. an answer there, right? Like, do you. need help with your homework? I could be.

like your tutor/boyfriend. Okay. You know, you wouldn't even have to pay. a tutor. It's like two for one. Yeah, that's good. And then three, um I think I wrote, "What are you doing this weekend?". That sounds like you're asking out on a. date, though. Oh, well, I didn't think about that. I. just thought, you know, if she's not. doing anything now and she's not having. homework. So, I get on the phone. I'm. like, "What are you doing?" She's like, "Nothing." I'm like, "Oh, gosh, what are. you doing?" I'm not still not doing. anything. And I'm like, "Well, have you. done your have you done your homework?

You know, how's that going?" Okay. Yeah, it was tough. Yeah, I finished mine, too. And then all of a sudden, it's like. a few seconds into I'm already into the. weekend. She doesn't have plans. I don't. have a car. She's not asking you questions. I can't ask her on a date. No, she's. just I don't know. Maybe you're you're. saying it's her fault. No, it's your fault. But just she It's a. It's a two-way conversation. So, I'm through my questions. I should. have come up with 45 questions at that. rate. Like I mean 15 seconds I was at.

okay see you tomorrow again. Yeah. Well I'll tell you in a subsequent. episode I can tell you I use Link's. method with Amber and my next. girlfriend. Let's talk about All right. But here's. the last thing. So how did this all end? I remember one day we're we're in class. or somewhere and she's doodling and I. look over and she's doing what girls do. They like write their name and. put a heart over the eye. Leslie, you. know, dotting the heart. gotten the eye. with a with a heart. Leslie Peebles. Her. last name is Peeles. So, she write. Leslie. Leslie Peebles.

Then then all of a sudden I realized she. was writing Tyler. Leslie Peebles. Tyler. Leslie. You know, it's just all over the sheet of paper. And I'm thinking to stop for a second. because this is, as we established. before, I got dumped. I got dumped for. Tyler Hamilton. over the summer who went to her pool in. Lilington. And I'm like, she is pining. for Tyler. She wants to get back with. him. And she's writing it. right in front of me. I remember. thinking, "Oh my goodness, don't you.

see?" I didn't say anything. I was like, "Don't you see that I'm right here and. you're writing. and your trapper keeper right there?". Yeah. She's like, she's like, "At least. cover it up or something. I can see. this." And I'm just crushed. And I went. to you, right? I recall this. You come to me and you're. like, "Listen, I don't remember this part. This is vivid in my mind. You come to me. and you're like, "Listen, I've got a. problem with Leslie. She in broad. daylight right in front of me I was next. to her sitting next to her and in her. trapper keeper on one of the pages she. was writing Leslie then Tyler then.

Peebles. Leslie Tyler Peebles. Yeah. Like she she's going to get. engaged and then to him but then keep. her last name. I. take his first name and then keep I. don't think that's how it works. I I mean. but at that point I said link link link. her name is Leslie Tyler Peoples. That's. her name. That's her m her middle name. is Tyler. Her. middle name is Tyler. And he was like, "Oh.". But it wasn't long after that that I did.

get the phone call probably through. Amber. I can't remember that just like. with you, I was dumped. And I can't help. but believe that I could not let go of. the fact that I still somehow believed. that she was in love with Tyler Hamilton. because her middle name happened to also. be Tyler. I think the bottom line, I screwed it up at every turn. Leslie. could go with anybody she wanted to go. with and she could just chew. She just. chewed men up and spit them out. Both of. us. Look at us people spat out. Let's. end this episode. I think, you know, can.

you learn something from this? Well, I think I I've established already. if you've got baby fat and you're losing. you're in the process process of losing. it, you're on a good course. And communication is the key to know the. girl's middle name. Yeah, you should know the girl's middle name. Oh my goodness. We have hit another. secret spot even though we reduced it. First of all, we went down to two so. this wouldn't happen. And we, ladies and. gentlemen, have hit another secret spot. Here we go. It You know what? This is. all you people complaining about not.

hitting secret spots. We've hit three in. a row. This isn't even fun anymore. Hug. a stranger. We hit a secret spot on the wheel and we. have to hug some strangers. You willing. to hug a stranger? You hit a secret spot on a wheel? Yes. The blue one. The blue spot. What's your name? What are you talking. about? What's your name? Sid. Sid. We have a We have a wheel of. mythicality. We spin it and when it. tells us to do something, we have to go. do it. And it landed on a blue spot that. said, "Hug a stranger.". Okay. Hug it up. All right.

Coming in here, L. You're kind of wet. Have you been. swimming or swimming? Yeah, sure. You got to put a board here, man. You're. a big guy, too. You're almost as big as me. You guys are tripping me the out. [Music].