12 Weird Headlines from Kentucky

Some crazy stuff goes down in Kentucky. Let's talk about that. Hi, I'm Ford from. Brookville, Indiana. Good morning. [Music]. Good mythical morning. This episode is. brought to you by our store. That's. redink.com/store. Just click on store from our homepage. and then buy stuff because it supports. entertainment. I'm talking shirts. I'm. talking shoes. I'm talking DVDs. I'm.

talking music via the iTunes place. It's, you know, it's it's good for. everybody. Do it. Okay. All right. Here's the deal. Buzzfeed has posted an. article recently entitled reasons. Kentucky is the weirdest state in the. country. What they did was they just. took headlines straight from local. papers in Kentucky and strung them all. together in order to say Kentucky is a. crazy place. It's the weirdest state in.

the country. Now, incidentally, a couple of uh maybe months ago, it's. maybe six months ago, we got a letter. from a fan. Uh I still don't have the. letter, but it made me think of this. when I saw this. and she was requesting. that we would take it upon ourselves to. tell people that Kentucky is not a. backwoods place. Not rednecks. It's not. She was like, "Everybody thinks this. about Kentucky. Could you guys just tell. people that Kentucky isn't this?" So, you know what? Whoever you were and.

whatever your name was, we are taking. this on. We are 100% behind you. And. what we're going to do today is we're. going to go through these headlines and. we're going to tell you why. No, no, this doesn't make Kentucky the weirdest. place. This makes the awesomest, the. best state in the country. We are not. changing any of the headlines from the. spin. It's all about the spin. All. right. So, here we go. Let's tee these. up. There's a positive perspective on. all these. Surely, right, Link? Surely. All right. Right off the bat, Kentucky.

man forced to eat his own beard during. fight. Lawrenceburg, Kentucky. Man says. that he had his beard cut off and forced. into his mouth during a fight. And I. remember seeing video of this guy. Uh he. was uh pretty awesome. One thing led to. another and before I know it, there was. knives and guns and he cut my beard and. forced me to eat it. Listen, there's not. a lot there's a lot of positive here. You know, first of all, the guy got a. free shave, but usually you either have.

to pay for do yourself. Okay. And he got. a free meal. I just think it's cool that. in the land of Kentucky, that's how you. win a fight by getting someone to eat a. beer. That makes Kentucky awesome. eat. your beard now. I mean, I'm not going to. say this guy this guy got the raw end of. the deal. He got the short end of the. stick. He got the the untasty beard in. his mouth. But that makes Kentucky. pretty cool in my mind. Next one. Kentucky man charged with DUI for riding.

his horse while intoxicated. If you. can't get drunk and get on a horse, I. mean, what good is what good is there in. this world? You know what I'm saying? Uh, yeah. Every man has a right to get. drunk and get on a horse and go down the. street. I I mean, I think the point here. is this is something he should get a. medal. He should get an award. He. shouldn't drink and drive, I think, is. really where we should go with this. Drink and ride. You should drink and. ride. That's a good thing. Why should. you be arrested for not drinking and. driving? You don't drive a horse. You. ride a horse. If the horse is not drunk,

if the horse was drunk, arrest the man. on the and the horse. Put both of them. in a cell together. Right. But as is, this guy's to be celebrated for making a. responsible choice, right? Kucky's. awesome. Kentucky man arrested after. cops spot him setting fireworks off from. the backseat of his moped. Again, another award or at least a patch. They. should make like a boy scout patch. Firework from the back of a moped patch. How do you even do this? You know, was. it you live in Kentucky?

I mean, and then look at the picture of. the guy. He's like, well, I think the. problem is he has a guilty look on his. face. No, you're interpreting that as a. guilty look. I'm interpreting as Y'all. see what I just did? Kentucky man sets. cockroach record. Okay, so far so good. Yeah. Travis Fesler of Florence, Kentucky breaks the world record of. putting the most Madagascar hissing. cockroaches in his mouth. 11 in all. Well, I mean, this doesn't make Kentucky weird. I. mean, this is I don't even need spin for.

this one. He broke a world record. It. doesn't matter what the world record is. Yeah, it doesn't. Yeah, I'm a world. record holder, man. I can put 11 I can. put 11 roaches in my mouth if you if you. have to supply the roaches, though. That's right. And they got to be from. Madagascar. Kentucky man stole $500. worth of Red Bull in pants. Listen, I mean, do this. Okay. Justin. Stumbler, 21, was arrested Wednesday on. charges that he stole the soft drinks, which could work out to about 240 cans.

if you go for 200 $2 per can. weighing. about 160 lbs. 240 cans. Talk about. cargo pants. You know what I'm saying? This was this were these like really big. like Joans that were like tapered at the. bottom. I don't know. I mean, how I want. to see how this guy pulled this off. This guy could advise us. This guy could. advise the president on things. You. know, we shouldn't be putting this dude. in jail. Advise him on smuggling uh. energy drinks in your pants. Listen.

here, Mr. Obama. I know that I don't. look like I got things together, but. listen. I smuggled the weight of a. person in my pants. Red Bull weights worth a person in my. pants. Do I get a Presidential Medal of. Honor for that? Well, of course you do. Kentucky man duck tapes mom then asks. nuns for trip to Africa. This is a story. of redemption. Well, first of all, it. requires a little deciphering. He duct. tape his mom. Uh, and then what does he.

do? Okay, I've secured my mom now that I. can do I can pursue my lifelong dream of. going to Africa as a missionary. Yeah. With nuns. Yeah. Well, I think what. happened is he taped her, duct taped her. to the chair, stole her car, panicked a. little bit, and says, "Oh crap. Oh, there's a monastery. I'm going to go in. there and confess my deeds to the nuns, and then maybe they'll take me to. Africa." He looks very content with the. decision. He's made. This guy could be. an ambassador. You know, nothing nothing.

bad here. I mean, I'm sure the mom duct. tape's easy to get out of. I'm sure. everyone in Kentucky is saying, "Yeah, send him to Africa. Send him anywhere. Anywhere but here." All right, what else. we got here? Kentucky man motorizes. living room table. Tim Francis of. Lexington made it a couch and a coffee. table to an electric golf cart frame so. he could cruise his neighborhood. So I. guess instead of watching television, he's watching the neighbors pass by. neighbors. Well, I mean, first of all,

this doesn't make your state weird. or this guy weird. This makes him and. his family amazing and innovative. Let's. just say innovative. I mean, I would. never have thought to do that. If and if. I was going to do it, I probably would. have attached a television to the coffee. table or something. This is not. something to be ashamed of, I think, is. the point. Kentucky man wraps head in. duct tape as disguise for attempted. robbery. Emphasis on attempted. He was. caught. I guess this is a picture of him. here. Looks like he got beat up. The.

thing I'm worried about is is his right. eyebrow cuz you know that did not. farewell in the removal of the duct. tape. Have the Kentucky Goblins returned. exclusive photos? I hope they have. If. they have, then this is another point. for Kentucky because I mean, think about. it. There's reality shows made about. people thinking that things are that are. obviously not real are real. Bigfoot. I. mean, chasing Bigfoot, finding Bigfoot, whatever it is. Think about this. We. should go pitch A&E right now on. Kentucky Goblins. Kentucky goblin. hunters. Have you seen the Goblin Hunter.

show? I mean, listen, this is like tax. breaks, you know, film making happening. in your state. And first of all, goblins. are better than no goblins. And do they. look cool, these goblins? They look. amphibious. Yeah. which when you can. when there's multiple pictures drawn by. different people that look the same, it. is proof that it actually exists. Man. accused of burning Lexington, Kentucky. art sculpture to stay warm. Well, this. is about Pavlov's hierarchy. Yeah, this. is about priorities, right? Yeah. I had.

to get warm. I mean, art, man, that's at. the top of the pyramid, you know, self-actualization. I mean, I'm talking. about I got to stay warm tonight. Kentucky man accused of DUI while. driving tractor. And he looks happy in. his picture, too. He's like, "Man, listen. It was just a tractor. I mean, it ain't like it's a car or nothing.". Now, this is this is more borderline. here because a horse drives itself, but. a tractors do not have autopilot. This. is tough to spin. Well, if he was. planting crops or plowing something, if.

he had his disc down, if he was. cultivating the earth, you know, then I. I think that there's redemptive value. Listen, man. When I drop over into the. median, which I do on a regular basis, I. dropped a disc down, you know. Do do a. little landscaping. Yeah. Why do they. call them discs? They're made of discs. But they call them dist. Is that just. That's just a That's just slang. It's a. mispronunciation. You used to work in. tobacco and you would say distister. You fell for it, too. It's a disc. I.

didn't say it today. You did. A Kentucky. man tried to use a fake $1 million bill. at a Walmart. And yes, people, the. answer to your question is, first of. all, the Statue of Liberty is what's on. a $1 million bill. Of course. I bought. some I bought all the stuff that Walmart. has here. And I can you break my million. dollar bill, please. This guy gets an A for effort. It looks real on one side. Is this like. one of the things that you like give a.

kid for his birthday? It's one of those. things you give a Kentucky man for the. birthday. Go to Walmart and have a ball. We have. just left our spin zone and I'm going to. spin the wheel. So, I I think the answer. is clear. Kentucky is awesome. Hopefully, people are making plans to. move there right now so they can. experience things like this firsthand. Shout out to Kentucky. Link thinks he's. invisible.

He can't see me. He can't see me. What are you What are you What are you. doing? I don't know why he's flinching. I don't know why he's flinching. Cuz he. can't see me. Neither can you. Can you. even hear me? Look at me. I'm invisible. and I'm dancing. That's right. Cuz no. one can see me. I can scratch my butt, too. Cuz you can't see me. Yeah, I'm. scratching my butt. Can't see it. You're. from Kentucky. [Music].