Why was the Cucumber Wet at Zaxby's | ATC

Ask, tell, confess. >> Ask, tell, confess. [music]. >> Ask, tell, confess. >> Ask, tell, [music] confess. [singing]. >> Hello friends. Welcome to another ask, tell, confess.

>> [laughter]. >> I sent a video in the chat the other. day. Do you remember Winnie the Pooh and. there's the beaver? >> There's a beaver in Winnie No, don't No. >> It's literally bunny. >> I love him. >> In Winnie the Pooh or. >> In Winnie the Pooh, yeah. There was a. beaver. It is literally bunny. >> Yeah. >> Uh, how's everybody doing? We're all. wearing our shirts from Jason today. >> Yeah. You guys saw last episode? >> Yep. >> Yep.

>> How are you guys doing? You guys got. some confessions for us to read today? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Oh, you guys got some good ones. You've. been starting off the past two episodes. >> a video to the table. >> Oh. >> Can you turn the TV on for me? >> Mhm. >> Scared. >> Uh-oh. >> In my friend chat the other day. >> Friend chat? >> Dustin and Amy. >> Okay. >> They went to So, they come over every. week and mow our lawn. They have a lawn. care service. And they left our house and we're like, "We're going to go to lunch, right?".

I have to show you guys what they found. >> Okay. >> I made her send me a video. >> Eat the beef. >> Smell the queef. >> [laughter]. >> Hop on this bad boy. >> Look at it. >> What the heck? >> What is that? >> A cucumber with a condom over it. Someone was getting down in the Zach's. bees. What was that used for? >> In the butt.

>> You think in the butt? It's curved. >> But they're at Zaxby's. >> Curved. That's a nice [laughter]. That's a nice cucumber. That is a It's Why is it Look at it in. comparison to Dustin's foot though. That's the length of his foot. That. looks like a squash. >> Oh. >> sure that's a cucumber? >> Maybe a zucchini. >> Yeah, like a zucchini. That's what it. looks like. >> I don't know, but it's girthy. >> Golly. That'd have hurt. >> I I wonder where that thing's been. We. can only ponder. >> know. >> Yeah, it looks all lubed up too. It's. very wet.

>> Ew. >> What's on the inside Why is it all. white? >> Condensation. >> She said there's something in it. Ew, dude. Do you think that the condom was used. when they put it on the. cucumber? >> Look at the tip. >> Listen, people have way too much time on. their hands, man. >> I don't know. >> I'm a fan of Zaxby's and I have to want. to put something in my butt. >> Somebody filmed some OF content. >> Zaxby's is great. >> Somebody probably filmed some OF. content. >> You like Zaxby's that much? >> I mean, not to take a [ __ ] cucumber.

up my ass. >> [laughter]. >> But. >> She was like, "But I'll do some tricks. for some. chicken fingers.". The. Nashville hot chicken fingers. I just. saw their damn commercial the other day. >> [laughter]. >> Last night, actually. >> Actually, no. They took away their club. sandwich, which I hope Zaxby's hears. this. Um. and I've never been back since. >> Oh. >> Oh, they miss me a lot. >> It pissed me off when they got rid of. the birthday cake shake. They can try to. come back with it and it was not the. birthday cake shake. >> Their shakes were [ __ ] liar.

>> Pissed me off. >> Pissed me Yeah. >> I was pregnant with I think Cash. when that one came out and it had like a. chocolate frosting on it. Damn it, that was good. >> I have just I'll take a shake any day. I'm freaking. >> It does sound. >> I wish I could have a shake. >> I feel like I'd throw up if I had a. shake right now. >> Yeah, What you got, Haley? You've been [ __ ]. waiting to give us the tea. >> It. may or may not go along with this. >> Okay.

>> [clears throat]. >> Uh in high school, in my FFA class, I. overheard these two boys who were. sitting beside me and talking about. whenever they get drunk, they stick. pears up each other's. >> What? >> I interrupted their combo and asked if I. heard what they said correctly, and they. said yes. They acted like it was normal. and no big deal. I then asked, "I'm not. going to judge or anything, but like are. you all gay?" And one of the boys said. no, and that he had a girlfriend. Another question I asked was, "How do. you not get caught doing that?" And the. boy that had a girlfriend, his response.

was, "We just wait till my mom leaves. the house.". I was in shock and disgusted, and they. just kept saying, "We are drunk when we. do it. It's not a big deal.". I obviously had other thoughts and. questions in my mind, but I was already. too disturbed to really say anything. else. >> So, dude's having a hard time accepting. the fact that he might be bi. If you're waiting till your mom leaves. the house, you know you're doing. something wrong. So. >> Why a pear? >> soft fruit. >> Soft? It's [ __ ].

>> round and bulbous, dude. How Who's hole. is that big? >> Which end? >> Yeah. >> to start on the small end. >> I hope they start on the. >> Mhm. I don't know, man. >> Why a pear? Start with a. >> Have you ever stuck something inside of. you that. >> Why not a. >> At this point. >> To go inside of you? >> It's probably a lot more comfortable. than a [ __ ]. >> I probably think that is gay. >> Yeah, that's crossing the line. >> That's. >> [laughter]. >> That's crossing the line. >> Pear, not gay. Dick, gay. >> Having your best friend shove a pear up.

your is not gay, but hey, we only wait. till our mom leaves, so. Yeah. >> I know. >> That's crazy, too. Yeah. All right. Well. >> Okay. >> Thanks. Thanks, Haley. >> You're welcome. >> Oh, my turn. My turn, my turn. So, around 7 weeks. ago, I saw a TikTok of a girl and her. cat. I was instantly, to say the least, attracted to her. To cut a long story short, she's an. OnlyFans girl, so I got myself an. account and followed her.

We've been talking daily ever since and. we seem to have such a beautiful mutual. connection and I'm happy to see it. flourish. She knows I have a partner and father to. two stepdaughters and we have a 20-year. age gap, which we are both comfortable. with. I absolutely adore to the bones of this. girl and it scares the [ __ ] out of me. What do I What do I do? >> He has a partner? >> He has a partner and two little girls.

who call him stepdad. So. >> Bro. >> Okay, so. >> What Also. >> What do we need help. >> She's being nice to you because you're. paying her. >> Exactly. >> Yeah. It's like going to the strip club. and being like, she loves me. >> [laughter]. >> Like sorry, that's what it sounds like. If you guys are talking like off the. app, off the OnlyFans thing, I get what. you're saying. >> No, but if there's any if you're to even. if you're talking off the app and you're. still giving her any sort of monetary. compensation. that is the only reason she's talking to. you.

>> Yes. >> And if you want. >> Take away the money and and see And. listen, I'm not trying to be a hater cuz. girl, get your bag, you know what I'm. saying? But at the same time, it's like. let's call a spade a spade. I was one of. those girls. I had so many sugar daddies. that I took money from and literally had. a man that was my man sleeping next to. me. >> Yes. >> I would have my ex-boyfriends call my. sugar daddies and pull licks with me, you know? So. >> Now, how often would they fall in love. with you like that? >> Sugar daddies? >> Yeah. >> Um it depended on how on how long I had. quite a few.

old older rich men fall in love with me. that wanted to marry me, but I just. could never. do that, but this girl for sure is. taking him for a ride and the 20-year. age gap kind of concerns me because you. have two stepdaughters. >> Yeah. >> How old are they? >> Yeah. How old is the girl you're talking. to? >> Yeah, how old is the girl you're talking. to? Like I You know, the grass always. seems greener, but I promise you it's. not, dude. >> No. Does your partner know about that? >> Yeah, and you're You're essentially you.

are emotionally cheating, financially. cheating because if you made an. OnlyFans, you're for sure you had to pay. the subscription. >> Yeah. >> You're already checked out, so the best. thing you could do is tell your partner. and either you guys separate or if she's. on board with it and you guys have some. sort of agreement, cool. Can. continue on, but I genuinely think you. need to tell your wife what's going on. and. >> Mhm. Yeah. Yeah, hate to break it to you, she don't. love you. >> No. For sure, take the money away and see.

how long she talks to you for. >> Exactly. Like and you probably had to. pay her to slide into her DMs on OF. >> Yeah, I'm sure. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. Okay, [sighs] uh so this one says, um. "I met a boy in middle school, fell. madly in love. Uh I came from a toxic. family and it was hell. So, first chance. I got, I moved in with my boyfriend and. his family. Well, everything was good at. first and before I knew it after a few. years, he was staying at his brother's. and leaving me behind until I realized.

he had been cheating on me. So, I sold and married his [ __ ] dad. I. >> Damn. >> Wait, damn. What a turn. >> I mean, that was That was like a an. abrupt turn. >> Had two kids with him. Let's just say I'm now his stepmom. This [ __ ] won't ever forget my. name or how he did me dirty. So, I did. him dirty. Since my husband has since.

passed, being 20 years older than me, and now I remarried and I'm living the. life I deserve with my two children that. are now his little brothers. Haha, karma's a [ __ ] and hopefully it taught. him a life lesson not to [ __ ] with a. mentally unstable person. Lol, I hope. this finds its way onto the podcast. >> I like that you read lol. >> Yeah, no I had to add that in there. >> Yeah. Um, you know, listen, I don't want to. hate the player or the game, but I think.

that was a little overkill. >> I do feel like she did it purely out of. spite and didn't actually love the dad. >> Yeah, because now you're saying that. you are living the life you deserve. But. and you brought two kids into this world. out of spite. Like. >> Yeah. I don't know. I just feel like. that's. that right there alone is like going to. give you an autoimmune disorder. You. know, like if you have that much anger. and unforgiveness in your heart, it's. going to come out in other ways later on. in life. And I'm not dogging you, girl, at all. I get it. We've all done [ __ ].

up for revenge, but I mean that was. that was a very manic. >> decision. >> I was like, you really stuck to that. >> Yeah, and I get it, man. Getting cheated. on is the worst feeling ever and you. really, really want to [ __ ] those people. back whenever they hurt you like that, but. maybe slash his tires and not [ __ ] his. dad. Those babies, you know, and and do. those does he have a relationship with. his little brothers now because of the. whole situation? >> be a spite thing there. It's like he. doesn't want a relationship with them.

>> between him and his dad? Yeah, and how. was the relationship with him and his. dad? Like did you cause a rift between a. son and a father? It's just like I don't. know, there's just so many. >> Hey, she recognizes her issues and we. love an accountable queen. >> For sure, we love love love love a queen. that takes accountability. And I'm glad. she's living her best life now. Yeah. >> I love that. My partner and I bought a. house in the country last year and have. been battling a mouse problem. We. finally felt like we got it under.

control. I was home from work one day. and my dog was fixated on my partner's. nightstand like he would like he would. track down critters in other parts of. the house. I opened the top drawer and see nothing. Close it, open the bottom drawer. Well, that's where we keep all of our adult. toys. When I opened the bottom drawer, there. was a nest of shredded paper and six. pink baby mice in his pee pump. >> [gasps]. >> I was beyond baffled. I FaceTimed him at. work and the look of disbelief was.

incredible, but so valid. We've been so. tickled by this and wanted to tell. someone because it's hilarious. So, this. is my throwaway account. I've been. waiting all week to share this with. y'all. >> [laughter]. >> And the piss pump is wild. Did they take. a picture cuz I want to see a picture. They burrowed in. They burrowed in because it's like a. little hamster cage. Oh. My gosh. >> Yeah, you can never use a. piss pump ever again. I hope you never.

use it again. And why is dude got a pump? Those things. don't even really work. My ex My ex used to use one. I've told. you guys I walked in on him in the. closet. Yeah, and I mean he already had a hog on. him. So, it was like. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, like so I'm like what are we. doing? Like it doesn't it didn't do. anything different. >> Yeah, that's trauma. >> It stretches the out and like hurts it. more. I don't think it like. >> trauma. >> wild. >> Maybe they like it because it makes all.

the blood rush to it. Maybe it's for a. sensitivity thing, but yeah. No, that's. hilarious. I hope you guys bomb the [ __ ]. out of your house though. I would freak. out with that many mice next to my bed. Oh god. I'd like to know where they went. In the [ __ ] toilet? Yep. Yep. Listen, I free. Listen, I free ladybugs. I do all of. that, but mice living in your house, you. got to make an example. Get it out.

Uh. >> No. >> I get it. I live in the country. I got a. cat for this exact reason because we. have little mice out in the chicken. coops and in the barn, and I can't. handle that, and I'm terrified of them. getting to the house. So, we You guys. all know the series of barn cat scar, uh. but I that right there. What were they doing while you were. sleeping? That's what I would like to. know. Were they running on your bed? >> Oh. >> Ugh. >> I just got the chills. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. >> Think about it. >> Flush the whole house down the drain.

I can't. >> Just burn the whole. >> Burn the whole. >> down, Poogie. I'm over it. >> What do we got? >> one. >> Okay. This is from Sierra. Not mine, but my. sister's story, and she's no longer with. us, so I'm going to tell it. This is only for you cuz you like. [ __ ] bottles. >> [laughter]. >> She said, "My sister had a thing with. this guy, uh hideous in my opinion. I was 21 at. the time. We were all drinking, and my. sister's friend ends up walking me home.

My sister had a migraine. She gets in. her purse and takes what she thought is. Tylenol.". >> Oh, no. >> They were laxatives. >> Oh. >> Uh her and dude end up doing the deed. I. was not there for this, um but as my. sister told it, he was coming and said, "Wow, you're so wet.". Then said, "Do you smell it?". >> [laughter]. >> My sister. [ __ ] his whole bed, and it was graphic. Um she ran to the bathroom and threw. herself in the shower to wash the [ __ ].

off. She came out to him nowhere to be. seen with a Walmart bag on top her shoes. with her shit-filled pants and a sticky. note that said, "Please don't contact me. again.". >> The sticky note? You could have just. left. I think she would have known. >> note is wild. How did you know where a. sticky note was? >> She was in his house. >> where'd he go? >> Oh, that was Oh, yeah, that was his. house. Yeah. That's even. >> his house. >> [laughter].

>> That's even greater. >> went on a drive. >> He [laughter] said. >> I got to go. >> I need a cig. >> Yeah, literally. >> But my thing is is I don't care how. much diarrhea I have, I know when it's. coming out. Yeah, you didn't know that that was. coming out at all. >> She was drinking. and. laxative and. >> That's I still. >> felt like she was just like. finishing and it. was from a different hole.

>> Oh, gosh. >> how Okay, not only that, he [ __ ] the. [ __ ] into her. >> Cuz it went on her butt. >> Uh were they doing. >> Oh. >> [laughter]. >> Were they doing. >> Oh. >> I don't know. >> Uh I have so many questions. >> I have. >> What he doing? >> [laughter]. >> I mean, I I'm really into this story. I. got to know. >> [laughter].

[gasps]. >> I have like. >> No one got me. >> Listen, guys. >> [laughter]. >> Listen, we need full context. I need. every last detail cuz my mind wonders, you know? I'm like. >> Was it the I want to know if it's the. Walmart bag with the smiley face on it. >> [laughter]. >> You know, they don't make those. >> I want to know where he found a pin and. a sticky note. >> Like so in. >> in that amount of time. >> So quick. >> Yeah, so quick. While she's in the. shower, poor girl. And that's not that's. Listen, dude. That dude sucks. Okay, like let's really talk about it. That.

dude [ __ ] sucks. >> He should have been helping you out. Left some wipes out or something. >> Like, dude, are you okay? Like, holy so. sorry that this happened. Like, that man. ain't. >> Yeah, he ain't. >> I'm sure he You know what? He probably. should one time. >> Yeah, maybe it was his [ __ ]. >> Yeah, could have been his [ __ ] Wasn't. even the sister's. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. I've got so many questions. Wait, I. can't choose between the two. I think I. want to go with this one. Uh my hubby and I are [ __ ]. Back in the hippie days, like sex. I.

mean, all the time. Okay. So, back in the hippie days, free. love, we streaked naked the neighborhood. with sparklers. >> days, so 70s. >> And yep. >> Okay. >> And that's when it began. So, there you. There love for us together was streaking. naked with sparklers. We had sex in the woods at a family. reunion, on a bank near the river in a. broad daylight, in a showroom buying a. car that was a tricky one, but we did. it. I sat on his lap while the. salesperson was away.

>> They're not [ __ ] they're voyeurs. >> What the hell is that? >> know what that means. I thought it was. when you're on vacation. >> No, a voyeur is people who like to have. sex in public places and and and like. the idea of getting caught. >> Oh, this is a new word. The more you. know. >> Uh I sat on his lap while the. salesperson was away. He slipped it in. The excitement, the thrill that day, in. our backyard pool, at a free love. concert. It was always a journey and it. happened often. I would always wear a. dress with nothing underneath and he.

would always wear shorts or something. that made it easy access to have sex. happen in the strangest places. It was. the best sex I ever had. It was a crazy. ride and a love affair. We didn't care. Free love, hippie days. Yes, I'm an old. lady now and I still rock having a great. life. >> Aw. >> Period. We love that for her. >> Go her. >> I love that. I wonder if her and the. dude are still together. >> Doesn't sound like it. >> Aw. >> just loved that time. >> going to be me one day reminiscing about. my fun. old ho days. >> [laughter]. >> I'm telling you, man.

Life creeps up on you fast, dude. >> Yeah, she's in her 60s now. Go Go you. >> Go you, mama. That means she's got her. hormones right, too. We stan a HRT queen. For anonymity. Anonymity. Anonymity. Keep me anonymous. >> What is that? >> [laughter]. >> Call me Jack. >> Okay. >> I want to come out to my family as gay. What do I do? For context, I am a teenager.

>> Oh. >> Sweet boy. >> Okay, I get it. >> Well, Jack, um this is kind of a personal question. because. we don't know like the background of. your family. I don't want to walk you. into something that is going to. completely devastate you or traumatize. you. I would need to know more. information um on how to approach that, but I do think there's nothing better in. this life than living authentically in. the skin that you're in.

>> Yep. >> Um so, I think, you know, we would. probably need to know more details. If. you can circle back, that would be. awesome, and then we could guide you a. little bit better, but just blindly. going in. >> Yeah, cuz like testing the waters, we. would definitely need to know where the. parents stand point in this. Like what. kind of, you know, cuz you could test. the waters with them, and they could be. already fully accepting of this. >> Yeah, they probably already know. >> It True. >> Yeah, you think that parents don't know, but we know. We know when somebody is.

you know, batting for the other team. because you can just tell. >> Yeah, they might already know, or they. could be completely oblivious, but I I. do feel like you could probably. pry a little bit without being too. obvious and get their standpoint just. from that right there. >> I'm sure they are If he's asking for our. advice, I'm assuming they're probably. not easy to talk to. >> Mhm. >> cuz he probably would have already came. out to them, but that's again me making. assumptions, so. I can't. >> Yeah, we need more yeah.

>> More context to that one would be great. because we would love to help you. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> in that journey because it is such a. beautiful thing to live authentically. yourself. >> Yep. >> So. >> Proud of you, Jack, though. Proud of. you. >> Hey, you came out to us. That's what. matters. >> Yeah, we love that. >> that. >> You guys want to do one more? I have one. more. You have one more? Go ahead. >> I have one more. >> Go ahead. >> I've been really thinking about a bag of. chips this whole freaking show. >> What What are you thinking? >> Sour cream, but I can't eat the whole.

thing. >> I'll share it with you. >> One. Okay. >> Have a couple. >> Perfect. >> Um okay, here's a story I probably. shouldn't be telling, but it's too funny. not to. When I was 14, I had a best friend named. Kate. We were inseparable. Um one day we were hanging out alone at. my family's pool, just messing around. with the jets. And then the idea hit me. >> [clears throat]. >> I thought, what if I sit directly on the. jet? And not just sit, but like really. commit to the bit. Naturally, I did it. for the sole purpose of making her.

laugh. At first, it was funny, too. funny. So, I stayed there longer than I. should have, which was my first mistake. The second I got off, I realized I had. made a catastrophic catastrophic. miscalculation. I had to clench for my. life. I'm talking immediate emergency. situation. I bolted out of the pool, yanked my bikini to the side, and. proceeded to absolutely destroy the side. of my house. No warning, no mercy. >> Oh, she gave herself an enema. Damn.

>> Oh, wait. Oh, no, there's more. Kate's dying laughing. I'm half. laughing, half fighting for my dignity. And here's the worst part, after we. finally pulled ourselves together, we. went back and did it again. >> I think all girls have a jet story. >> [laughter]. >> I do. >> First of all, I wasn't rich. My pool. didn't have jets. >> I had an above ground pool, but it had. jets, okay? >> I didn't have I didn't have I didn't. have jets, but no, I have I don't have a. jet story. >> Uh I do. >> That's unfortunate for you.

>> Oh, okay. >> a jet story beams? I feel like waterish. >> [laughter]. >> Okay. >> Do tell. >> What am I missing out on? >> Oh no, I was younger. I'm not talking. about that. Teenager. [laughter]. >> I can't ever pull anything out of Mimi. She'll say she'll say yes and she'll. allude to something but she'll never go. into detail. >> Our mom watches this. >> My entire family watches this and I. >> Hey Susan. >> Hi. >> Hey hey Susan. >> Um. >> [laughter]. >> So I think [ __ ] her giving herself an.

enema is hilarious. She must have been. bearing down on it. >> had a really hard time in there. I don't know. >> Is that what an enema does? >> Oh yeah, it cleans you out. Yeah, you can put water up your butt. like mountain spring water up your ass. and that's an enema too and it'll come. out. >> Not just a saline isn't it? >> It's like an oil change. >> You can put coffee up your ass. >> I've seen people do coffee enemas. >> Yeah, people put coffee up their ass. >> What's that do? >> Cleans your whole. oil change, yeah. >> Does it like give you the do you wake.

up? >> I I've done it. I can't remember. Did I. do one? I think I did one and it made me. like [ __ ] [ __ ] out. >> I would imagine it's like putting. cocaine in your. >> I've never stuck anything up my ass. >> Kaylee did one. >> I mean. You've never had an enema? >> But I didn't mean like that, yeah. >> Well you don't have a [ __ ] problem. >> No I don't. >> Until you're constipated and that's your. last resort, oof. >> I had a enema when I was giving birth to. Cash after I had Cash cuz like you know. like anesthesia [snorts] and stuff you. get plugged up really bad and you're not.

supposed to push afterwards. Tragic. >> Oof. >> Yeah. >> Enemas are clean. I love a little baby. enema. Just stick it in there. I did one the other day and I pooped and. it was in the shape of a J and I. >> You sent a picture didn't you? >> I know I told my husband about it. though. He was really proud. >> The amount of poop pictures I've seen. >> from you. >> from you is wild. >> There was one that I literally still. can't believe that one. You know what. I'm talking about. >> You're. >> Is it the color? >> That one. You saw that one? >> That one was wild. >> That was the craziest, most perfect poop.

I've ever seen. >> cut off, I don't know. That was healthy. I miss I haven't had one like that. since. >> Really? >> Uh, that one was. >> don't have to anymore. That cleared your. entire system out for a couple years. >> you some time. That one was probably. like 20 years of just [ __ ] that came. out of me. Yeah, I know. >> Yeah, that color was nice. >> Yeah. >> All right, guys. We are out of here. See. you next week. Love you. Bye.