Who Rubs One Out at Work?? | Ask, Tell, Confess

Ask, tell, confess. >> I I. Ask, tell, confess. [music]. >> Ask, tell, confess. >> I I Ask, tell, [music] confess. [singing]. >> Hello, friends. Welcome back to another. Ask, tell, >> [gasps]. >> confess. >> Mhm. >> That's nice. Good.

>> [sighs]. >> Yeah. >> Hello, friends. How is everybody doing? >> What just happened to us? >> Bro, we just drove through a [ __ ]. tornado. Like hail, uh people swerving all over the road, wind blowing the trees and the cars to. the side. >> We don't know what it was. >> Yeah, I don't I haven't even looked to. see what the damage has done to my car. Like. >> I I got it on video. We literally hit. something. >> Yeah. >> Oh. >> No, it was the eye of the tiger. Like it. was I swear. We drove through a portion.

of it. Yeah. No, we were on What is it? 840? >> Uh-huh, for about 20 minutes just. >> Dude, cars pulled over on the side of the. road, pulled over underpasses. >> point we're under the overpass like with. like four other car five other cars and. people were just stopping traffic. >> Yeah, I was like, "I'm not sitting here. I'm not going to be a [ __ ] sitting. duck. Let me just get home.". >> Took off. >> That's how I handle everything in life. Just [ __ ] trudge face it head-on and. get it the [ __ ] over with. >> And we came out on the other side. Look. at us. >> We came out on the other.

>> Look at us. You made it. >> Yeah, we got to our exit and it was like. bright and sunny and beautiful. I mean, I feel like that's how life is. You got to go through the storm to get. to the freaking right sunny beautiful. side. >> Yeah. >> Mhm. >> You know, like somewhere over the. rainbow. >> Somewhere. over. the rainbow. >> [singing]. >> way. up high. >> Why were we all so quiet? >> [laughter]. [gasps]. >> Yeah.

Well, >> What's wrong with us? [laughter]. >> Well, it's been a hell of a week. We. just left my plastic surgeon's office. If you see any [ __ ] additional. add-ons to me, no you didn't. That's all. I'm going to say about it. I'm not even. going to. >> wild to call them. >> Listen, I'm home improvements is what. we're going to call it, baby. We're. improving the home improvements. >> I get it. >> Yeah, I'm on this journey of just making. myself feel good. >> Mhm. >> That's what we're going to do. So, if I. do get home improvements, it's going to. happen next Tuesday. >> [laughter].

>> My plastic surgeon. >> We can do it next Tuesday. She said, I was like, that's our moving date at. the new property. I was like, what the. hell? But. Listen, >> Do I hire movers? You don't have to do. anything. >> new location, new everything. >> New new. >> New phone, who it is. >> That's coming next. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Oh, that's coming. I have to. >> I need to. >> Bro, this announcement has brought all. the weirdos out. I have people texting I. don't even it's crazy. >> Like.

>> Just random people are. it's nuts. >> They're starting up conversations. >> Yeah. >> It's nuts. >> This has brought all the the craziness. out. Oh, and then us doing a podcast on. the DMs last week just lit a fire under. everybody's ass to go into my DMs. Dude, it's. >> Did it get better? >> Did it get better or worse? >> I [sighs and gasps] don't know because, you know, it's like. >> have any? For the class? >> I might have. >> Share. Please. >> Share one or two for the class. >> no. We'll do a whole episode on it, but.

I might have somebody that I think is. cute. So, I don't know. We'll see. >> A new one? >> A new one. I can't tell. you. >> Yes, you guys know. >> Oh. No, wait. We know. >> Pretty little baby. >> [laughter]. [gasps]. >> That's the only hint I'll give you. Okay. >> It's like RIDING A BICYCLE. IT'S LIKE. RIDING A BICYCLE, BUT you got a dick. inside of you. >> He's Oh, that one. He's pretty to look.

at. So, I don't know. We'll see. And he's West Coast. So, I. love love love love me a West Coast boy. >> Is he tall? >> Uh still yet to be decided. [laughter]. >> Wait, we don't know his height? >> I mean, we do. >> Do we? >> Do we? I don't know. We might have to give it a. goog. I don't know. We'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. But, nothing, you. know, I think it's okay to think. somebody's hot. That's different than.

>> okay. Wait. Okay, yeah. Cut this. >> How on how? >> Just bleep this. Just beep beep beep. beep. We know how tall. >> Oh. >> WE WILL KNOW HOW tall he is. >> right now. Look right now. Okay, we'll. figure out how tall he is by this. He wants to come out here and see me, but I don't know. >> Is he born and raised West Coast? >> Yeah. >> Mhm. Okay. >> Listen, I don't want a country boy. Everybody's like, go. >> a little taller.

>> Okay. >> Oh. >> Oh, then he's probably He's at least 6. >> 6'2" 6'3". >> And he's tall and skinny. Oof. >> Oh, he's got a baby arm. >> Mhm. Hope so. Anyways, >> [laughter]. >> okay. Anyways, and listen, I'm just. looking to to you know, I'm Mama's. getting her spark back like we've been. talking about. And I think it's okay to. have a little baby crush on people. So. Anyways, moving on.

>> [laughter]. >> I That's all I need is the [ __ ]. internet trying to figure out who we're. talking about. No. They won't figure it out though. >> [ __ ] no. We'll cut this up so good. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We'll chippity. chippity chopped this up, Jason, so that. people are very confused at who we could. possibly be talking about. But, yeah. All right. So, anyways, we are doing. some Ask Tell Confesses. A lot of people. have been messaging us. Keep doing it because all you have to do. is just put ATC DM us on Instagram.

That way that you can get your story in. We should just make an email for people. to Ask Tell Confess because there's a. lot of people. Do we have one? Oh, [ __ ]. What is it? Oh, we'll put it in there. All right. Well, I don't even know that. we had a phone number. I do. We check in. on Bob to see how Bob's doing. Oh my. god, I didn't. Hold on. Let me text Bob. Should we call him? Just give him a. call. >> Are we calling Bob? >> Yeah. We haven't heard from Bob in like. >> Has he not left a voicemail for us? >> In a minute? >> No.

>> We hope Bobarino's doing good, man. So, anyways. >> texts me. >> Uh for while we call Bob, for Ask Tell. Confess today, we're doing something. with the workplace, right? >> Like crazy stories in the workplace. >> Yeah, so I decided this week I was going. to ask you guys what was the craziest. thing that you ever saw happen at work, and boy did they deliver. >> Oof. The work ones are always gross. It. makes me never want to eat out. >> Why are so many people [ __ ] at work? >> Because you spend 8 hours a day with. that person 7 days a week, you're going. to develop feelings.

>> Have you ever. [ __ ] someone at work? >> I worked at MAC. It was all girls. >> Did you ever [ __ ] someone at work? >> I did not. >> Did you ever [ __ ] someone at work? >> Did sugar daddy's? >> It wasn't at work, but it was from. someone that I worked with when I was a. host at Logan's. >> Oh. Was it a waiter or a bartender? >> He was a waiter. >> Oh, nice. >> after shift one time. So, we were. technically still in our uniform. >> Damn. That's kind of hot. >> I know. >> All sweaty.

>> Yeah. They say that work affairs start. all the time because people are together. so much. Like you are like they call. them work husbands or work wives or. something like that. >> Yeah, have you heard that? >> I would never date a dude in an office. cuz I would not [ __ ] even trust that. Come home and tell me you got a work. wife. Okay, cool, buddy. Go [ __ ] live. with her. Let her put up with your [ __ ]. We're calling Bob. >> Call Bob-arino. >> HEY, YOU. >> BYE. >> [screaming].

>> HERE. >> WE MISS YOU. We just wanted to call to. check on you. >> Love you, Bob-arino. >> kid. >> How have you been? >> Oh, I've been as good as ever. >> Oh, I'm so happy to hear that. How's the. weather over there? >> Good. >> Good. >> When are we getting. When are we getting together? >> Oh, man. >> We'll be on the West Coast soon. >> Yeah, we got to come over there to see. you. >> Yeah. >> Yes, you do. >> Yeah, we just wanted to call and check. on you. You're on the podcast right now.

Can you say hi to everyone? >> Hi everybody. >> [laughter]. >> We were worried. >> Hey, would you like to come and help me. do a birthday? >> A birth- When's your birthday, Bob? >> Next Next this small. >> What? >> What? In. In September. >> September what? >> 25th. >> I love it. >> Him and Mo have. >> Yes, he would. >> the same sign. >> I love that so much. We're going to have. to send you a birthday present, Bob. >> Yeah. >> Yeah.

>> Also, we're going to get back to our. podcast. Can you give us a Bob out? >> Goodbye. >> Bye-bye. >> Love you, Bob-arino. >> Bye, Bob. >> Bye, Bob. >> Oh, my God. >> Yes. >> He's the sweetest boy. >> He's a sweet boy. >> I just love him. >> He's our new grandpa. >> No, for real. We need to get out to. Oregon and see him. >> I know. I want to go hiking out there. anyways and go see the waterfalls and. stuff. >> Twilight? >> Yeah. >> That'd be so gorgeous. >> Yeah. >> As long as we're not in Portland. >> at the Twilight house? >> Yeah, as long as it's away from Portland. where they smoke fentanyl for out in the.

open and [ __ ] Like, I'm not doing that. >> Mhm. >> What would we have to fly into? >> I think it is Port-. >> I guess if we took if we fly private, we. could fly into any airport, right? Okay, yeah, let's do that. That would be fun. Is that where Twilight was filmed? Okay, cool. All right, let's get into. these stories. >> So hot and bothered over here, bro. You. bring out Twilight. You know her credit. card is Twilight, right? We were at the. bar the other day. She pulls it out. I. said, "Is that Edward?" You're like one. of those Disney adults.

No, I'm not. >> With Harry Potter with Harry Potter and. Twilight, yes. You are like one of those. Disney adults. >> I'm not a Disney adult. >> [laughter]. >> Do we How do we feel about Disney. adults? We're going to insult some. people here. >> No. >> No, put it in. Leave it in. >> Um. >> I've seen them. >> I've seen them around. >> I will. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> I mean, I had fun at Disney. There's a. 50/50. I cried during the fireworks. >> That was beautiful. It was beautiful. >> I think if you make it your entire. personality, I think if you make.

anything your entire personality, then. If it's who defines you as a person, let's find a new hobby. >> Yeah. >> Maybe more than just one. >> Yeah. >> What's the like appropriate amount to go. to Disneyland if you are an adult with. no kids? >> Like once? >> Twice? >> But once [laughter]. a month or once a week? >> No, like. >> Who would go through all of that? >> That's what Disney adults [laughter] do. That's a lot of walking. >> Yeah. >> Disney adults do that, yeah. They go. like. once a week at least. >> What? Once a week?

>> I've heard of it. >> bit I feel like it's like again, if. anything you do that's overkill where. you are it's your entire personality, then that's some you know, it's an. obsession and you can't Yeah. >> That it doesn't just have to be Disney. >> Yeah, it doesn't just have to be Disney. like. >> Yeah, that's like Twilight. >> They have a [clears throat] certain. >> Yeah. >> All right, let's get to these work. things. All right, this one's short and sweet. This customer that is in his 70s likes. to come into our store in the mornings. and he only wears athletic shorts and. they are so short that his nuts hang out.

of the bottom. >> Oh, the twig and berries. >> [laughter]. >> The old twig and berries trick. >> My neighbor that I grew up with used to. do that. It didn't make it in the book, but we called him red balls because. literally in the backyard. he would sit with his Clark bar and. balls hanging out of his short ass. shorts and he knew we were looking at. him, dude. >> When we were watching your old home. videos, you were like, "Look, there's. the guy whose shorts and his balls would. always hang out." I was watching like. her home videos and it was like her. little swimming pool and her chickens. and then it like her dad pans over and. she's like, "That's the house with the. [laughter] old dude that's balls would. hang out." I was watching like.

>> Yeah. Yeah. >> What the hell [clears throat] happened? >> [laughter]. >> A lot. >> That didn't make it into the book. >> Yeah, there was a lot that didn't make. it into the book, but um yeah, so red. balls. I can't believe he was walking. around with his twig and berries out. And you know they could feel that. That's a draft. >> I was going to say, how do you not know. that it's like. like does it just lay on the chair when.

you're sitting there? How do you not. know? You got to like. >> And then like I couldn't imagine my. vagina just But their balls sweat. Literally, their balls sweat. So when. they get up, it's like Velcro. Like they. have if it's sticking to your. leather. >> from Joe Dirt when the the dog's balls. get stuck to the front porch and he's. got to get it off with a spatula. >> Yeah. >> No. All right, I'll go next. >> Not in this heat. >> This heat sucks. >> balls away. >> Oh, this heat is [ __ ]. >> heat is disgusting. >> If I had balls in this heat I'd be I'd.

be very mad. >> Um all right. I watched [clears throat]. a woman get scalped by an assembly line. She was underneath it cleaning when. somebody started up the line. Her hair. got caught up in a roller and pulled off. a 4-in chunk off of her scalp. So much blood. >> That just made my stomach hurt. The thought. >> Oh my gosh. >> It's like Instagram reels. >> Yeah. >> That's what's on my. >> Yeah, you. What are you watching? >> night I see. >> Oh my god, they're sending me Oh my god,

my Instagram reels are. >> I need to [ __ ] update my FYP. It's. all [ __ ] just corny [ __ ] now. I'm. like, can we move on? >> Yeah, where. >> [laughter]. >> where are all the hot dudes on there? >> I don't need any more [ __ ]. inspiration. I'm I'm already over it. Let's go. >> Oh, no, I couldn't imagine ripping hair. straight off the scalp. >> No. >> No. >> No, it takes a whole chunk. >> Have you guys ever ripped um like girls. hair off when you're like fighting? Is. that hard to do? >> Yeah, but not from the scalp. Like you. have to to rip somebody's scalp off. their head, you have to it's the force.

and the power that has to come off is. crazy. There was a girl who uh when I. was growing up in Vegas um jumped in. Lake Mead and her hair got wrapped. around a propeller. Yeah. >> Did it scalp her? >> It killed her. Yeah. Yeah, that's why you always got to be. really careful with boats. Like never. jump off the back. Mhm. Never jump off. the back if the propeller's going cuz. you can literally die, especially if you. have long hair. >> That gave me that just [clears throat].

woo. >> Yeah. >> That's insane, dude. No. I did witness a. fight one time in a Denny's parking lot. at 2:00 a.m. And when I went out there, there was just hair everywhere. Yeah. >> Denny's parking lot at 2:00 a.m. in what. part of the country? >> The West Coast? >> Fairfield, California. >> Yeah, oh baby. >> Yeah, we went out there and there was a. huge dent inside of our car where they. had tussled their car hit our car. >> Yeah, how do you start fighting with. somebody in the same car? >> Yeah, so they were in the back seat and.

they're fighting. You see the car doing. this and the dude's yelling outside and. then they kick their door open, hits our. car, dents the side of Yeah, dents the. side of our car and then they tumbled. out of the back of the car and just. ripped each other's hair out all over. the parking lot. Yeah, I don't know I wouldn't expect any. less from a Denny's. >> No. >> I love Denny's. >> No, not 2:00 a.m. That's like Waffle. House at 2:00 a.m. >> Yeah, Moon's over Miami. >> You never know. I love Denny's. Denny's. used to You know what I used to love? Blueberry Hill. I don't know if you guys ever had those.

Oh my god, it's like a mixture of IHOP. and Denny's, but it's in Vegas and it's. Blueberry Hill. So good, the biscuits. and gravy. >> Did you guys have Blackberry Diner? >> Blackberry Diner, yeah. >> I love Blackberry Diner's waffles. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah, we had those in Vegas. I worked at a liquor store, gas station, deli combined. One night, the store is. empty and a woman came in to just use. the restroom, totally fine. But 20. minutes goes by and my coworker says, "Hey, she hasn't come out of there yet.". 5 more minutes go by and she doesn't. emerge from the bathroom, but she's. walking out of the store smelling her.

hands like just double fisties to the. face and deep whiffing those bad boys. and loving it. Uh my heart dropped. That [ __ ] went in. and closed the toilet lid and sat on the. upper deck, not open as well, and. blasted diarrhea down the whole toilet. It looked like she clawed through her. [ __ ] and then flung it into the sink and. didn't wash her hands. Then she flushed. her flag-size undies down the toilet and.

broke the pipes. I drew a [ __ ]. picture of her and hung it up that said, "Wanted: The Serial Pooper.". >> [snorts]. >> I'm just wondering what goes through. people's minds before they do weird. [ __ ]. Cuz I know that when I do premeditated. stuff, >> I think I [laughter] think. >> Premeditated is what I had. >> I think it out, you know? Like I really. think it out. So this woman, like you. don't just do that on a whim. How do you.

know to even lift a [ __ ] toilet seat. like that and [ __ ] in the back? No, it. was closed. She [ __ ] on the wall. >> [ __ ] on the toilet. >> Oh, I thought she took the thing off the. top, you know, the one that goes on top. >> and [ __ ] down it. >> Just made it even worse. >> Mhm. >> Yeah, like I thought she had some. genius. >> Yeah, there's Yeah. >> You can't be sober doing that, for sure. Cannot be sober. >> I would love to see the picture he drew. >> I would like to see the picture, too. >> It reminds me of like Remember when they. drew that leprechaun?

>> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Such a good meme. >> I love that. >> That's how I felt during the colonoscopy. the other day, though. >> How was that? >> you guys. Mimi and I went and got. colonoscopies on Friday. I have to just. tell you, I have showed everybody. I. have a video of it. If you guys want to. see it, I'll show you, but I have really. the prettiest butt hole ever. Like, on. the inside. On the outside might be. questionable. On the inside. >> [laughter]. >> On the inside. It is so pretty.

>> It looks like just. >> It's like a little rose and it's just. perfect and like the color and just. clean. >> My kids found mine and said. the [ __ ] is that? >> [laughter]. >> Yeah, that was my insides. >> Oh. Yeah, but man, I had fun. I love. getting put to sleep. It's my new thing. I used to be so scared of anesthesia and. now I'm like, give it to me. >> nice. I had such a good rest. >> Yeah, I actually that was the first time. I've ever felt rested from anesthesia. >> Yeah, you were good. >> Yeah. >> We did it as family, guys. There was.

four of us that rolled in there deep. >> Yeah, rolled in deep. >> Yeah. >> Yeah, we all had bruises, just. >> Everything's good though. Everything's. good. We're all good, so. >> Yep. >> Yeah. You guys got to get your. colonoscopies. They're going to start. moving the colonoscopies up to uh 40. years old now, so. >> It used to be 45, now you got to go when. you're 40. >> Well, it hasn't changed yet, but they're. going to move it up. >> Nice. >> But they're But it's because so many. young people are getting colon cancer, so. >> I I. >> about to say, what's the like earliest. you could go? >> Well, it's. >> complications.

>> So. >> So if you have like precancerous cells. or if you're like having blood or any. Any of those signs, you need to go get a. colonoscopy. >> 100%. Yeah. >> My signs came. early on. I ignored them until I was. pregnant with Cash and they were like, "This is really serious. You should. really take care of this." And so then I. went through with it cuz I was like, "Oh, I have a reason to live, my kids. and shit." So, I went and got it done. and that's when they found it. Yeah. So, you can go as early as. >> I was 20. >> If you're having symptoms, go get a.

colonoscopy. They're a breeze. They're. you're in and out in an hour. [clears throat]. >> Yeah. And you know what? The prep wasn't. that bad. >> It was not. It was not bad. >> prep I did was horrific. >> Yeah. This prep My didn't work. >> You didn't do the full prep. >> That's No, but it That stuff doesn't. work on me either, so. >> laxatives. Yeah, but I also drank an. entire container of Miralax. >> Oh, well, I did buy a thing of magnesium. glycinate citrate. >> Citrate? >> Was it citrate? I don't know what I. bought, but I was scared. >> Oh, you should be.

>> I was watching TikToks and someone was. like, "You're going to need at least two. to three days." I said, "Two to three. business days. I'm only doing this for. them.". >> Cuz the first Mo and I took it one day. just for fun. We filmed it. I think we. made a TikTok. The first day didn't even. bother me and I didn't think it worked. The second day. >> Did you lose weight, though? >> I mean, you never really lose weight. when you. you lose weight for that next day and. then it comes back like water weight. >> So, that's All right, so it's not even. worth it. >> No, you never want to laxative The.

laxative diet does not work. You [ __ ] up. your electrolytes. You get electrolyte. imbalances and then you gain back double. the water, so it's not even worth it. >> Weighed myself morning of completely. empty and I was a pound heavier. >> Oh. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Uh this one says that they worked at a. veterinarian's office and she would have. a coworker who. would refuse to wear gloves when they. would express dogs' anal glands. >> Oh, come on. Even that made Chachi. uncomfortable.

>> [laughter]. >> Chachi said, "I'm getting the [ __ ] out. of here." He wasn't into that at all, dude. Like, that's disgusting. >> This is why you don't shake people's. hands. >> No, this is exactly why I will never. shake a person's hand. >> of those. I I even got one where like. people were trimming their toenails in. their office and then like going into. the break room and touching stuff and. then they said they did catch one guy. jerking off in his office and later that. day was cutting cake for people and. serving it. >> Hold on. Hold on. They caught this man jerking off in his.

office and let him stay there long. enough to cut cake for somebody else? >> many DMs of people who found their. co-workers jerking off in their offices. >> Okay, but does nobody get reprimanded or. is it just a [ __ ] free-for-all now? >> Yeah, I mean, why aren't we doing it in. the bathroom? >> You really got to rub one out, go to the. bathroom. It might be a little office fetish, you. know. >> be, you know, it definitely could be. >> But my thing is, is do people not get. fired for that? >> I'm guessing not. >> Back in my day, if you're [ __ ].

jerking off in your office, you're going. to get [ __ ] fired. >> I'm wondering if it's like a they're. just not snitching on their co-worker. Like they did to you. I'm not firing them. >> I don't I don't know if I believe that. >> not I will say. >> It might have been the person who was. jerking off that wrote that in. >> Ooh. >> And [ __ ] then was like, yeah, and. then I was cutting cake later. Like, you. know, just some weird [ __ ] [laughter]. fetish, too. >> Just touching the end of the cake and. then every single one of them helping it. onto the plate. >> All right, I work in a pretty safe, affluent town.

and my co-worker let a homeless man use. our bathroom after we close. He proceeded to be in there for 30. minutes and blew up the bathroom as much. as you can possibly blow up a bathroom. Like sprayed [ __ ] on the walls, had to. we had to scream at him to get out as he. walked out and tried sitting in a booth. My co-worker and I had to stuff tissues. up our noses and wear garbage bags, aprons, and long rubber gloves. The most. disgusting thing I've ever seen or had. to clean up. Felt dirty for 2 days after.

that. I also went to wipe a booth seat. one time and wiped up what I thought was. chocolate, got a whiff, it was not. chocolate. >> It's like your couch. >> Okay. >> That's crazy. >> Listen, you couldn't [ __ ] pay me. enough. >> No. >> If somebody sent me in to clean up a. bathroom like that, absolutely the [ __ ]. fire me. >> out. >> Fire me. >> Nope. >> I'm not doing it. I can't. >> What if you breathe it in and like. and then I can't do it, dude. >> I'd rather drag my labia across asphalt.

than do that. >> Mhm. >> I'd rather light my labia on fire, okay? There's no [ __ ] way. I'd rather nail. it to a wall. >> Please. >> [laughter]. >> Not doing. I am not cleaning up. anybody's [ __ ] I We had to use a. porta-potty when we went horseback. riding. And it was. >> That was. >> That was not a porta-potty. >> That was a full-on bathroom. >> It was a [ __ ] porta-potty. >> That was a portable bathroom that just. happened to look like a real bathroom. >> I hovered. I literally with all my.

strength just. stood over it and peed because I was not. about to put my ass on there. >> No, there's no way. It was definitely a. porta-potty. >> No, that was that was a portable. building that they placed right there. >> I don't care what anybody says, the. stench in porta-potties is just you'll. never forget that. >> Bro, Dustin was telling me the other day. cuz he was mowing the lawn and I was. like, man, you're like covered in [ __ ]. He's like, talk about covered in [ __ ]. He was like, we used to work cuz he. works for like septic and water and. stuff like that and they used to have to. get down into septic like chest deep.

Yeah. I don't know how Amy would suck him off. after that. Like, how do you like know. that you're like. chest deep? >> How do you not [ __ ] puke? >> That's what I'm saying. >> I can't. I have such a sensitive. stomach. There's no [ __ ] way. >> I think the thought of it makes me gag. >> I worked at a hotel and years ago, we. had Jacuzzi suites with the typical. Jacuzzi tub in the room. After a couple checked out, the entire. tub was coated in a brown film. We have.

no idea if they had added something to. the water or if it was biological. The. room had to be put out of order for a. few days for cleaning. God, could you. imagine those jets? Imagine what's inside if that was. running. I would never have Jacuzzi suites. >> Yeah, well, they have those in Vegas. They have a lot of those. I will never. No, never, never, never, never. >> There's no I already can't take baths. because if I sit in the water too long, my legs start itching. Only at my.

ankles, though. It's the It itches so. bad and like I don't know what it is. There's like a. It's a condition that people have that. if you sit in baths, your ankles or part. part part of your skin starts itching. Oh my god, it's horrific. >> to her the other day. We were washing. out her hair and you you had to take a. bath cuz they had like an anxiety attack. or something like that. And when she got. out, her ankles were literally It looked. like she had like bites around her. ankle. >> And it stings like ant bites. Like it's. the craziest thing. I don't know if. anybody else has ever had that, but I.

can't take baths because of it. >> baths all the time. I love baths. >> I love a good bath. I mean, I do, too, but I can't I would not. >> ankles itched every time I took a bath, I wouldn't though. I would just get. them out. >> I've had it done that to me since I was. a kid, though. Like I've always had. that. It's like it's almost like my skin. gets too hot. It just reacts. I don't. know. It's weird. >> All right, this one is about toenail. clippings like you were talking about. earlier. I had a man in his mid-70s.

dining alone. He clips his toenails at the table. He. left. He left the clippings in a pile on the. table. >> [snorts]. >> Second worst was when the town drunk had. his not prescribed to him pills hit at. the same time as his second beer. He regurgitated his beer into his glass. without realizing and kept drinking. Then proceeded to [ __ ] puke all over. the bathroom. He was immediately banned.

I'm crying. Bro, anybody cuts their toenails. I. [ __ ] hate that. And I mean cut them at home, of course, but in a public place. An old man toenails man, those are bad. Those are tough. What makes you think. like you know what? It's a good time. right now to cut my toenails. So I have. a story. I was doing cocktails and we'll have to. to block out the performer's name cuz I. don't want to get sued. But this is a. real story though. I [snorts] was doing.

cocktails at this is when I was a. cocktail waitress at the Hilton and. was performing there. She had like a. residence there. This is back in the day. I mean I had to have been like 20. something years old and I went to go. wait on her and this [ __ ] had her feet. up on I'm talking barefoot up on. the the table that she was sitting at in. this restaurant just digging in her.

toenails, cleaning out underneath her. toenails, dude. It was the grossest [ __ ]. I had ever seen in my life. >> she cleaning them out with? >> It just looked like a little like Q-tip. type thing underneath her toenails. No, it was and people were around her eating. and yeah, it was bad. >> Ew, what a nasty human. >> I remember just thinking to myself like. who does this? It was just and she was. so rude. I was waiting on her, she was. so [ __ ] rude. Yeah, it was bad. >> and digging in your feet. What kind of.

human are you? >> Bunions, it was bad. She you know, old. lady feet, it was bad. >> So she was old? >> I mean she wasn't young. She's got to be. like [ __ ] how old is she now? Let's. see. I don't even know if she's still. alive. >> That's disgusting. I don't I touching. feet in public is one thing, you know. >> I don't even know what song she sings. >> Ew. And I just remember she thought she. was so cool. >> Yeah, she's 67 now, so she probably had. to have been 40, 40-ish. >> Just digging underneath her toenails.

>> Just digging underneath her toenails. What songs does she sing? >> I thought she was going to say with like. a fork or something. >> what I Yep, never heard of any of the. songs she's ever sang, so. >> Yeah. Yep. Anyways. >> I got a I got a work one I just. remembered. >> Let's go, buddy. >> Give it to me, baby. >> Oh, honey. So, when we were. >> baby. >> [laughter]. >> I used to work at a pizza spot not too. long ago, actually. It's when I moved. here. I was in college. Um. worked at a pizza spot. Was waiting on. this couple, and they ordered like a. pepperoni pizza, some wings, pretty.

standard. Like they looked like a normal. couple. Go back, come back out. And it wasn't. even me who noticed it. I think another. coworker noticed, "Hey, who has table. so-and-so?" And I'm like, "Me." They're. like, "I think she's getting fingered.". And I'm like, >> [laughter]. >> "Excuse me?". >> At the dinner table? >> Yeah. Yeah. And like in a booth where. it's like in the corner, open concept, by the way. There's no corners in this. restaurant. You could see everything. And it was like a Wednesday. It wasn't. packed, right? I go out there, and like.

I I see the man and the girl like this, and I see. him like this, like. kind of covering, but his hand's down. there. Tell the manager, and he flips. He's. like, "Ew, what?" He's like a a gay guy. He. was pretty awesome, BFF. But uh yeah, he. went out there and said, "Excuse me, you can't do that here." And just. started spraying like disinfectant on. them. [snorts]. >> On them? >> Yeah. That's not even the grossest part.

I didn't see them get up to wash their. like wash any hands. >> So, they they probably went to the salad. bar just. >> They went to They went like pizza hands. in. on your cooch. >> [snorts]. >> Yeah. I'm I'm good. I'm not into that. You need to wash your hands and [ __ ]. get a This one wants it. Get. in public? I haven't a. That's crazy. Talk about it. Let's talk about it, Haley. >> [laughter]. >> Haley. >> We can't.

We can't. My bad. I'm so sorry. Listen, dude. I'm all I'm down for some freaky [ __ ]. but doing that at a freaking. uh pizza place Come on. Like. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> off limits. I don't believe it. Because. then like what if you touch the salt and. the pepper? >> But what if there was kids there? Like I. don't That's You can catch a charge for. that. That's not worth that. That's [ __ ] weird. There's a thin. line between hot and weird. >> If someone did that in front of my kids,

I would fight them. >> That's [ __ ] up. >> Absolutely, dude. >> Like I'm so quick to be really. protective of my children, and if they. were ever to do some [ __ ] [ __ ] in. public, I'm going to hurt you. >> Yeah, cuz I will whoop your ass. >> Yeah, remember the whole the whole OF. era where girls were doing like. >> in public stuff in public and like. >> There was a concert not too long ago. where we watched that girl jack him off. >> What? >> Excuse me, what? >> What? >> Were you the only ONE THERE? >> [laughter]. >> WERE YOU THE ONE JACKING him off?

Was it Was that happening, Mimi? >> Was it you and Jason? >> You [laughter] were side stage, and we. looked. >> I do remember that. >> We're standing on side stage, and. >> That was years ago. >> And one of the security guards was like, "Yo, she's jacking him off." And we were. like, "No, the [ __ ] she's not." And we. turned around, and we were like, "She's right there just going for it, bro.". And. >> Who does that to that kind of music? >> [laughter]. [screaming]. >> I'm just saying that was not a concert I. felt like deserved that kind of energy.

>> Mhm. >> Yeah. Nothing sexy about that. No. I. wouldn't even I wouldn't even be turned. on. No. At all. >> Feel inside of me. >> I don't know. I think there's a time and. a place to be sexual outside, but. >> Not in public. >> Not like I mean, no. >> like with people I'm standing next to. her, you know? Like what if there's a. kid right in front of them? >> Right, right, right. That, but I feel. like, you know, it's just you guys have. to like it's. I get like the rush of like getting.

caught. Like that's what some people are. addicted to, but at the same time it's. like at what cost? >> What about you, Howie? >> Public split No, that's I'm I'm my. anxiety is too high. I would start. thinking about like everything. >> Are you the Are you the type of person. who only sleeps and who only has sex in. the bedroom? >> Yeah, I think so. Yeah, actually I am. >> Wow. >> Yeah, I mean, but you know, hotel room. will. you know, catch some. >> Yeah. >> aggression from me, but like. >> [laughter]. >> you know, it's not like. >> The headboard The headboard never saw it.

coming. >> [laughter]. >> No, [clears throat] but not not. >> Don't don't touch me. >> I think it's more of like a a female. desire because like there's something. that itches that itch. For a guy, I'm I. think at least for me, I'm too scared. >> I think it's just you. >> Cuz if I get No, but see I was going to. say I I haven't met a man who did not. want There I I know somebody else who's. just like you who only likes to have sex. in the bedroom. >> Mhm. >> Yeah, I just Yeah, it's scary. Well, it's like I just think about.

>> the big picture. >> What if a cop pulls up? I'm going to. jail. >> You're overthinking it. Like. >> Yeah. My dick's out in public. >> You won't have sex in a car? >> Yeah, what about a car? Car's good. Car's good. >> So, you need to be covered. Have you. done it in the Subaru? You need to be. covered. You don't want the cheeks. outside. >> I don't think I've done it in the Subaru. yet. Me and Brooke got a. >> That is a utility. sport car. That needs to happen, bro. >> to the ground SUV. >> in the Subaru tonight, Howie. >> I'm going to. >> Park in the driveway. >> have to tint the windows first. [laughter]. >> Banger in the Subaru. >> It's a [ __ ] water bottle, bro. It's a.

[ __ ] uh. bowl, yeah. >> Who's getting banged in the Subaru? >> [laughter]. >> If the Subaru's rocking, don't come. knocking. I'm coming knocking, baby. All. right, and on that note, go bang your. wife in a Subaru tonight. Or husband, or. significant other, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever. Anyways, see you. guys next week. Bye.