Mod Sun | Dumb Blonde Podcast

Is this [music] thing on? >> Bonnie, who used to be a former sex. worker and now host the podcast Dumb. Blonde. >> Most little girls grow up wanting to be. doctors and lawyers and and I was like, I want [music] to be super hot, make a. lot of money, and be a rockstar's wife. That was my goal as a child. And here we. are. >> What's up you sexers? Welcome to another. episode of Dumb Blonde. I'm sure you. probably heard me and Mod's son talking. about how he's the hot uncle. [laughter]. What's up, baby? How are you? I'll take.

that role. I like that role better than. the hot older guy. >> Well, cuz we were talking about how Jay. and I are like mom and dad to everybody. And Ma was like, "Yeah." He's like, "I'm. totally that, too." And I'm like, "No, you're like the hot uncle. [laughter]. Like, you're not you're not dad yet. You're like hot uncle, right? Am I wrong. here?". >> I like that. I like that. Am I wrong, people in the room? >> Are we Are we wrong? Are we wrong here? >> Okay, cool. Cool. We're on the same. page. >> I'm so happy to have you here. >> Thank you. >> This has been a long time coming. >> Yeah, it has. >> I slid in your DMs like 2 years ago. >> Yeah. And thankfully you didn't reply.

because. >> I know I know this is the time it was. supposed to happen. >> I swear to God it really is the time. >> But I really saw the DM like 3 weeks ago. and immediately was like [snorts] all. right [laughter] I missed this one. If. you ever want to do it again I would. love to. >> No and I'm just so happy to have. >> and I listen why I did is because I. listen to your podcast just outside of. it. >> That really makes me happy. It makes me. so happy when I have men tell me they. listen to the podcast because that means. a lot to me cuz I have such a huge. female following. So when I get the men. that are like, "Yeah, I listen to your. podcast." I'm like, "Dude, can I hug. you?" Because it's like so sweet.

>> Your conversations are just like natural. conversations. Do you have mostly female. guests? Is it? >> No. I mean, it see I do have a ton of. female guests, but I love, you know, having men on, too. So, it's like it's a. variety, but definitely probably more. female dominated, but I think it's. because of my platform and just who I. am. I just have a more female fan base. Even when I was doing. >> You're like the You're like a You're. like the super power female that's like. >> says be like confident in yourself no.

matter what. >> I appreciate it. >> And like fights back against people that. talk. I love that. >> It's exhausting sometimes. I even told. them I was like. >> it's such a good It's such a good. message to send though. Not being like, I'm going to talk back to you, but just. being like, yo, this whole thinking that. you can't have your word against someone. that's talking because you're a notable. person and oh, if I say the wrong thing, this and that. Like, that's like a whole. wall that needs to be broken down right.

now. >> I really needed to hear this. >> Don't you think so, though? >> I swear to God, that's I'm why I'm. fighting the good fight. >> So many people like I I'm in a good. place right now. Now I feel like I have. my light back around me, right? >> You look so happy. >> It got Thank you. Thank you. I am happy. I feel this is the most secure I've felt. like in my skin as well in years and. years and years. >> But there was a time where it wasn't. like that. But then there was also this. time where like I don't know when it. happened, but for some reason I got in. my head like, oh, like do I have to like.

worry about saying the wrong thing or. being a certain person or or or all that. stuff like. >> Yeah. And that's why when you have this. like message of like. I will say my opinion back to you. regardless of who I am or how many. people follow me. >> that's like these are like these are. messages for the youth that they need to. like understand that you know. >> for sure 100%. And sometimes I get. caught up in the am I doing the right. thing or should I not say this? But I. feel like as I don't like to call myself.

a celebrity, you're a celebrity, but as. people in the public eye, it's like. we're told that we're not allowed to. talk back to people. It's like no, don't. say this or don't say and it's like why. why are people allowed to bully? And. that's why this problem has gotten so. bad online. >> That's why bullying it was because they. always tell you if somebody abuses you. don't stay silent. But yet the first. thing they tell you whenever somebody. abuses you online is stay silent. Yeah. >> Like what what are we talking about. here? This is like mixed messages. >> I mean my favorite times of being myself.

is when those thoughts never entered my. head. >> The second they did I felt like I was so. fake. >> I felt so fake and not me. And. >> do you feel like you've been silenced. because of your celebrity? >> Well, yeah. I mean. >> to a certain [clears throat] extent. >> Yeah. 100%. or just even just thoughts. of being like. don't put yourself so like I've I've. gone through things where I have put. myself in the position to kind of speak.

my half of things you know especially. with past relationships right that bleed. into the public eye. >> I have had a relationship where I was. like no this and and and and saying my. word back. >> and then it being like something that. follows you forever and becomes a. narrative and then I've had situations. in the last couple years where it was. like I didn't even stand up for myself. >> And like those things are just like, okay, understand. Yeah. Like my sister's. my PR person, so she's like PR. crisising, you know?

>> Is she a pitbull? >> Yeah. Oh, yeah. She's she's my older. sister that'll she fights for me for. real. I love that. >> Yeah. Um, but anytime that. I found any one of my great moments that. people will come up and tell me affected. them in a in a great way are always me. having no thought of that. >> No thought of that. And I'm not saying. like go make yourself look bad. You know. what I'm saying? >> Not saying say some wild at 2:30 a.m. that you wouldn't say the next morning.

>> I mean, I have done that a few times. [laughter]. >> Guilty. I almost did it last night. awesome for what you do. Okay. And like. if just as myself, I have felt. inauthentic before. >> and those moments like really. >> kind of I let myself down, you know, and. like where I'm at at this point in my. life, I'm like, okay, I remember who I. am. >> Yeah. >> Like I remember who I am. I am 37 years.

old. Just just age in music, right? We. love Jelly because he really puts it on. the line. >> Daddy roll. >> He gives us daddy roll. >> Daddy roll, baby. [laughter]. >> He like gives this whole real talk about. what it is. It's like be so proud of. your story. Do not try to hide it. Do. not try to keep up with the other people. and this and that. Like wear it and be. it and love it and be proud of it. And. like that's what creates the light. around you. M.

>> you know I felt my dim. >> I felt it dim and in the last year I had. to just like reorganize my life get back. to just being in love with myself. >> How did you do that? What were like some. steps? Cuz I know you went through a. really tough breakup and we can talk. about that. We can touch on it now or. later on whenever you're comfortable. with it. But. >> I remember seeing a video of you on. stage after that breakup and it broke my. heart for you. >> because I could tell you were holding in. so much. And I think right at right in. that moment, I just felt so much love.

for you. Yeah. >> Because I was like, damn. I was like, this man is literally wearing his heart. on his sleeve in front of hundreds and. thousands of people each night. Like, this is tough, dude. >> So, how did you go from being on that. stage to finding yourself? >> That was definitely like an like an. authentic moment. Again, I'm glad that. you say that because that was a moment. of like true authenticity, you know? Like we went through this breakup while. I'm on tour, bled out in front of the. world, going on stage every night. It's.

like my biggest song is with her and. it's my song. >> I know. >> So, I had to really be like, "Okay, like, yeah, this is the hardest thing, but it's my song.". >> Like, I'm not going to deny myself of. that, you know? >> Yeah. >> And so, I'm going to keep playing it. Yeah. It's hard as hell to play and hear. that voice every night, but I'm going to. keep playing cuz that's my song. >> Yeah. And so I mean that kind of started. this whole spiral of being like. >> from there it was very um you know I. would have to like do a meet and greet.

every day and kind of like fake a smile. You know what I'm saying? >> And that's fine, you know? Um not like. just completely just being in shambles. in front of people like still being. like, "All right, I'm a warrior." You. know? >> Yeah. Um, but so like I went on that. tour and came home and had to like. reorganize my life completely and just. like. environment so important like your I. love to say this about people because I. clearly look different than I did a year. ago. You know what I'm saying?

>> I love the dark hair by the way. >> I I do too. >> I love it. >> I love it. >> Yeah. And like just you saying that like. again. we've been told certain rules. that. are so backwards. We're told like. materialism is wrong. Right. Okay. I'm. talking like. >> if you really in your heart believe that. like a great outfit won't make you feel. better about yourself, you're tripping. >> No, it does. >> You're tripping. >> Yeah. >> But we're told like no, no, no, no,

don't. or or you're told like your your. appearance your your appearance like I. changed my appearance I go out and. people be like dude you look better than. you've ever looked that makes me feel. great. >> that helps me feel secure. >> right it's like these things that are. that are just these little building. blocks that like you've kind of been. told are not the way right. >> like a simple thing you have to break. down what it is to you but for me I've.

just figured out recently like what is. happiness? Duh. The most cliche thing. ever. What is happiness? >> I figured out what it is to me. It's. something to look forward to. That's it. All this all this like be present, be in. the moment. All that is like. >> get it. Love it. Thank you, Deepo. Chopraisms. I love it. Give it to me. >> I'm rewarded. Like I need to know what. the next hurdle is. >> I want to wake up and have something to. look forward to that makes me happy. It. doesn't need to be some like.

careerdriven goal. It doesn't need to be. anything ridiculous. It can be something. so simple as like. >> I wake up and like I love the first. picture that I have hanging on my wall. in my room. >> and that like makes me want to get up. It can be also something giant. I have. something to look forward to. Let me. create something to look forward to. Whatever it is, you know? And it's like. >> once I've realized that 37 years old. into my life, you know what I'm saying? >> It was just like boom. That that's what.

it is to me, >> you know? And. >> just realizing that there's these little. things that are okay. with um utilizing in your life like. changing your appearance, changing your. environment, building things to look. forward to. Obviously, keeping great. people around you that give you the hard. talks, the hardest talks. >> are the ones that make your life easy. >> The uncomfortable ones, but those those. are you have to be comfortable having. uncomfortable conversations. That's what. me and my husband always say.

>> I love that. I love that. >> You really do because I mean life's not. always cherries and unicorns. Sometimes. it's holes and cigarette butts, you. know, like we don't life's not always a. bundle of joy. So you have to be be. comfortable being able to be like hey. you know kind of looking within and. having uncomfortable conversations with. yourself like what do I need to change. to make myself happy. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. For sure. >> I really like dove into that in the last. year and like focused on that and that. only.

>> and um finding things that were like. missing in my life you know. >> really really applying those you know. like as a musician. >> doing the work. >> 100%. [clears throat]. >> Yeah. I think that's a huge thing. because it sounds to me like you're. doing the work. A lot of people are like. looking for happiness, but they don't. want to go find it. They want it to come. to them. And it's like, no, you got to. get the up and go find it. Go chase that. [ __ ]. >> and push yourself. And it can be. something so simple. Like when you when. when people hear these talks like a lot. of the time they're human condition is.

to like jump to something like gigantic, right? >> Or like build a goal that's like a year. from now. >> Unattainable, right? you know, >> or not unattainable, but at that moment, >> right? >> Yeah. 100%. It's like, dude, build a. goal for yourself for the next 6 hours. Like, >> it doesn't have to be healthy for a day. Yes. >> You know, like it can be so tiny. >> Discipline. >> Listen to a record you haven't Yeah, exactly. Listen, >> it's so good. >> I'm I am in.

>> What is it the sixth today? The seventh. So, three. >> today. Cinco de Mayo, isn't it? Or no, >> yesterday. Damn, we missed it. >> So, 5 days from now, I'll hit 5 years. sober, right? >> Yay. >> And why I know it's really I'm really. like Yeah, >> that's amazing. Let's definitely dive. into your sobriety. I would love to. hear. >> I would love I would love to. And like. just piggybacking off that though, like. what's so great is like another tip or. uh advice or stance on life is like drug. addicts, whether you're a recovered drug.

addict or currently in a battle, just. know you have the greatest discipline in. the world. To wake up and get up every. day, takes discipline. to go meet to go. meet the plug in a random parking lot at. 2 a.m. that is. >> discipline. >> And I'm just like, holy [ __ ]. >> And to feel like every day afterwards, like, you know, and have to have that. >> Yo, if you can do those [laughter]. things, you can get a six-pack in 6.

months. You know what I'm saying? You. can do all these things. You can get. that job that you wanted. You can go. through all. >> Nothing can stop you. No, [laughter]. I have drug addict discipline, you know, and like I hold that anytime I like talk. to like addicts and I'm just always. like, "Yo, just know you you could. become president. >> You could take over the world with your. discipline.". >> If they just put that channel, that. energy into something that's. constructive. >> It's so powerful. >> Yeah, >> it really is. >> So crazy way of looking at it, but it's. facts.

>> It's so true. >> Literally, it's facts. >> Yo, there's I look at like people that. are just like so down and out. I'm like, "Yo, just know you could take over. theing world.". >> I love you. You are the type of. motivational speaker that a needs though. because they'll listen to you because. you have such a cool way of saying it. So, people are kind of like truth bombs. are like going off in their head and. they're like, "Holy, that makes total. sense.". >> 100%. If you can also just get away from. the whole like. >> positive speaking Google search. sentences. >> and be like, "All right, let's remove. all those weighted word words and just.

like say the thing you're trying to say. like Charles Kowski is my favorite. writer of all time. He would always be. like, >> "You have no guts if you're turning a. sentence into a paragraph." Like, "Stop." With all that, >> the the wind blew through the window. sill at [laughter] night while I was. >> the twilight was glowing through the. sheets of my room. It's like, bro, >> you found happiness looking out the. window while the moon was out, dog. Like, you know what I'm saying? >> It's like, which sentence do you want to.

read? You know, >> that's so real, though, because what did. you just say? Say that again for me so. that I can remember it. >> I don't even Oh, >> the paragraph. You just turned a. sentence. >> Never. You have no gods if you're. turning a sentence into a paragraph. >> I love that. >> That's going to be my new motto. >> Yeah, it's real. You you you do that. I. do. You You are like straight to the. point. >> That's paragraphs. No, I tell. >> you I'm looking at you going, [laughter]. you do. You're a paragraph person. >> I am. I feel like I am. >> I'm not saying talking a lot. I'm saying. you say it how it is. That's essentially.

what it is. is like being like stop. trying to fill this whole thing with all. these isms and and all these blown out. ideas. It's like you say it how it is. Trust me. I needed you here today. >> I am a viewer. I am like objectively. Is. it objectively from the outside or. subjectively? I don't know. I am again. didn't go to the. >> I'm not sure. Listen, I didn't I didn't. graduate nth grade. >> We'll go with objectively [laughter] and. if we're wrong, it's all good. >> It's all right. >> I am from the outside looking in. I. watch you and I'm I I I do have a good. opinion of that. Like you say it how it.

is. I appreciate you so much. Speaking. of some crazy I discovered whenever. we're going to take it all the way back. You're you're like a you're a farm boy. from Minnesota. Let's talk about this. because you have like a really crazy. childhood story. >> I do. I really love my. >> It's actually really cool. Yeah. >> Many lives like and and I and I I. totally just like I love it so much. I've never I've never been the one to be. like, uh, does living in does does that I'm in.

in LA? Should I tell people like I'm LA. or this and that? It's like I'm. Minnesota. Like Midwest Minnesota. I. grew up on a farm. A farm with no. animals. My parents were absolute wild. They were the animals. >> So you tell So I heard that your mom was. a cheerleader and your dad was a biker. >> Yeah. >> Like Well, your mom was a cheerleader in. high school and then. >> Yes. He literally. >> married the bad boy. Oh, 100% 100% for. good and bad. I got all I got a lot of. my dad's good qualities and like all of. my mom's good qualities. So, I kind of.

won with that. >> Um, no, my mom was like cheerleader, >> straight A student. My dad was like. kicked out of Catholic school and had to. go to this other school and like pulled. up, beat up my mom's boyfriend at the. time and like threw threw her on the. back of his bike. >> I was like, "You're mine.". >> Yeah. >> That's my kind of guy. >> No. No. Literally 100%. Yeah. A lot of. girls at home are like, "That's hot.". >> And he was, I'm telling you, [laughter]. I know. And when I say like threw her on. the back of my bike, like take it. however you want it. Like that is my dad.

is like he was he was the real deal. He. was one of one. There's this quote from. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. That's. >> uh too weird to live, too rare to die. >> That was my dad. He couldn't. [clears throat] get his together, but he. was so rare that like we had to have him. here, >> you know? And um yeah, so we we grew up. on like a giant like what would you say. like five acres? Sorry, I'm talking off. camera to my sister. It's like 5 acres.

in the middle of Minnesota. Like I go. back to this town. It still hasn't. changed a bit. It's so small. And uh I. actually had this great conversation. with someone last night that also like. grew up in the middle of nowhere. But. it's like from age 0 to six, no. neighbors, no friends, only my sister. who older sister. It takes a long time. for your older sister to. >> like you. >> Yeah. Like we were. >> Trust me, I'm an older sister. I get it. >> And and and we'll get to this too, but. my sister was the like my mom the.

cheerleader straight A student. >> This one right here. >> Yes. Yes. Yes. Um, so we were total. opposites in so many ways. Uh, but one 0. to six, grew up on a farm, no friends, total just imagination. >> What was life like with your parents? Were they pretty stable or were they. just. >> No. >> Yeah. >> Not at all. >> Take me on that journey. >> I mean, my mom was the definition like. of an angel. like just just trying to. caring about kind of zooming out and.

looking forward and being like. my kids shouldn't see or hear or know. about things that are going on, you. know, but my dad literally would have. his girlfriends calling the house. >> No. >> Being like and my sister would answer. the phone and be like he like my. sister's like nine like [ __ ] You know. what [laughter] I'm saying? Like like. that was the first time I heard curse. words was my sister like. >> I love that sister was rowdy enough at. nine though to stick up for mom. >> Hell yeah. Oh hell yeah. And like I mean.

also my sister was like the bartender. My sister was like making them gin and. tonics and oldfashions at 9 years old. >> Oh my goodness. >> Yeah. Yeah. I I I was literally the my. favorite picture of when I was a kid was. me like drinking a paps at like four. years old. Like. >> first of all iconic. Uh secondly that's. crazy. >> like band slipons. My dad's like posted. up. I'm like drinking a peps. Like. literally. >> Oh my goodness. So you guys grew up rock. and roll. >> 100%. >> That's how I grew up too. >> And we grew up.

>> uh like 10 minutes from Bob Dylan's farm. in Minnesota who's my favorite artist of. all time. Minnesota white. Yeah. Um. >> and so it was all rock and roll. It was. all like you listen to the Almond. Brothers. You're either a Dylan guy or a. Beatles guy. We are Dylan people like. and and the band and it was music all. the time. >> I love that. and motorcycles. Like my. mom and dad rode motorcycles. Like my. first scar that I still have on my leg. is falling off my dad's bike when I was. 4 years old and burning my leg on a. thousand degree exhaust pipe. You know, >> it was wild. It was wild for Minnesota.

Like I know when people have this. picture of Minnesota in their head, they're not thinking like this. This is. what it was like growing up there for. me, you know. And um but I but what. stuck with me the most through those I. don't even know if you call one through. six formative years but they were so. much for me formative. [clears throat]. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Great. Thank you. Because I it it made. me who I am. >> I am permanently in my own world in my. own imagination.

>> because I had all this space and no. friends and no neighbors and no nothing. So, I was in my head all day running. around this field pretending I was. whatever, superhero or a spy or any of. those things. And I've never left that. world. >> ever once. Like. >> I think that's I think that's part of. your childlike charisma, you know, like. you have this like um just sweet wonder. about you. And I even told Jay that. I. was like he I was like he's just so.

sweet, you know, and I now I understand. where you get it from. >> I. from there. Thank you. >> You're welcome. [laughter]. >> It's horrible. Everyone, you raise your. threshold for compliments to not. immediately throw someone back at other. people. >> Yes, I won't let you do that. >> Just say thank you. I tell this to all. people. I'm like, raise your threshold, dude. Like, I gave you a compliment. Don't just give me one back. Just be. like, "Damn, thanks." Like, >> Mod is dropping gems, guys. I [laughter]. hope you're listening. I needed you. today cuz I [clears throat] had a. horrible day yesterday and today this is.

just. >> Well, let's get into that, too, at some. point. Oh, we're going because we're. going to flip this and be like, "Welcome. [laughter] to dumb brown hair. We're. going in.". >> No, we're not doing it. Um, so I wanted. to circle back on the Bob Dylan thing. that you had said and I wanted to tell. you something that you might actually. enjoy. My husband is a huge Bob Dylan. fan. >> Loves Bob Dylan. His son Noah was. actually born to like a Rolling Stone. and I know that's your favorite Bob. Dylan song. So when I heard that I was. like, "Oh my god, this is like kindred.

souls. It's crazy. >> I so I so can tell the Jelly Roll fan. and Bob. Like I can so see it. >> Oh, he just went and saw him at um where. were we in Austin? What's it called? The. the whole big festival they have out. there. >> The the Austin City Limits or something. like that. Yeah. They he went and saw. Bob Dylan. [sighs]. >> I was like, "Did you record it?" And he. was like, "No." It's like yo yo again. it's like the great I tell every artist. there's so many artists that are so lost. right now especially the younger ones.

>> that. um have had a different upbringing in a. different kind of world of being an. artist. You know I grew up as an artist. pre- internet pre having a studio in. your house. >> where you had to actually work. >> pre laptop and protools like this was. like the growing up with instruments set. up in your garage and every day after. school you came and jammed with your. friends and if your friend didn't show. up you couldn't jam. You know what I'm. saying? >> Like [clears throat]. >> I grew up in that world. I grew up in. the back of vans playing shows for free, sleeping on people's floors, all that. >> The world that it's in now is a lot is.

is is shifted in a lot of different. ways. And a lot of artists get really. lost because they'll have these giant. peaks and valleys. My whole thing was. like just a giant like slow lift, right? >> So many Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. And. there's so many for young artists. Peaks. and valleys. Peaks and valleys. And it. gets hard and I'm like, yo, study. I. don't care if you hate Bob Dylan's. voice. I don't give I don't give a Just. study his career. Like, this is a man. that was slated as the voice of a.

generation. Him and an acoustic guitar. and a harmonica. The second that he was. at his peak of this voice of a. generation, he grabbed an electric. guitar, showed up to Newport Jazz. Festival, the first electric performance. ever at Newport Jazz Festival, got booed. off stage for a year after that. Played. like a Rolling Stone to his concerts and. got booed by his biggest fans. >> and never stopped playing the song. And. it is now regarded as like the top.

greatest song ever written. And like. that is like believing in what you're. doing. >> and not putting the the control in the. hands of the audience of telling you. that it's great or telling that it's. successful. And then as soon as they. loved him being electric, he went and. made a country album. They hated it. Soon as they loved that, he went and. made a blues record. They hate it. As. soon as they love that gospel record, as. soon as they love that, Jack, it's like. dude just was like, "Never are you in. control of my success and who I am and I.

follow my instincts and follow my guts.". >> Also, a guy who disappeared for 10 years. and came back and dropped what I think. is his greatest record of all time, Blood on the Tracks. Like, it's just the. greatest mentality for an artist to be. in. >> to not not think that like. >> not be put in a box. >> Oh, they're going to forget me. Oh, they're going to forget about me if I. don't post today. They're going to. forget about me if I don't drop a song. right now. They're going to forget about. It's like, man, just like create art as. if you're already dead and gone and.

it'll be the best art of your life. >> That's amazing. I love that you tell uh. young artists to go and study Bob Dylan. My My husband did that on his Goodn. Night Nashville album. We watched every. Bob Dylan documentary that you could. [ __ ] find. And he just consumed Bob. Dylan for like months. It was wild and. it was the best thing he ever did. And. now look what he's doing. Can't you. can't put him in a box. >> We love you so much. >> No, IT. I'M JUST SAYING what what you're saying. is real though. Like you told you tell.

people to go and study him and that you. know he's one of your favorite artists. and like my husband too and look what. he's doing. >> And it's regardless of the music. It's. like study the path that he took as an. artist, >> you know. It's like my I learned a quote. cuz I've been like a I've been chasing. art and I'm talking like the facets of. art like painters for I've been studying. painters. I study the lives of people. you know. I've been studying painters. since I was a very young kid. And when I. heard the quote at like 13 years old. that was like.

a great artist reinvents themselves. every 10 years, right? And like that's. their periods, you know, as an as a as a. painter, you have like periods like, you. know, you have the blue period or the. abstract period. And like all these. people like lived by that. >> and I put that into like my life as a. musician. It was like the first 10 years. of my career as a musician. I was a. drummer, you know, >> and then my bands were doing good. like.

my dreams were coming true and I felt. something that I had to do and. completely abandoned all comfort and. went back to ground zero and was like I. am mod son now I am going movement on. dream stand under none I'm starting this. new thing and I did 10 years as a rapper. calling what I did hippie hop and making. positive rap music that like this was. before Kendrick Gamar did like I love. myself like yeah we had de los hole and. we had like more like positive kind of. hip-hop but like in that term it was. like I'm going to make hip-hop based.

around the secret and the law of. attraction, right? >> Which was like. >> it was not it was goofy, you know? It. was like it was an idea that people are. like no no no no no no no [laughter] no. And I was like I'm pushing through this. I did 10 years of that. Then I did like. a 10ear stint of being like back into my. more like alt and you know really high. register belting. And then I'm in this. like tenure phase right now that's like. so so raw and it's finally I like I was. about to take three years off of music. I went back to Minnesota in August of.

this last year and I was like, I'm just. going to paint and write scripts and. direct for the next like four years. because I don't really think I have the. desire to try to outdo myself, you know. >> This is when I was very like lost. This. was like part of the being lost period. that I just had. >> where you had to rediscover yourself. >> Yeah. And I went back to Minnesota. >> Isn't that crazy that you went back home. to to do that to like get your roots? Yes. >> Is mom still there? Yeah. Yeah. >> Cuz we're going to circle back after.

with what happened at [laughter] 6 to. >> No, you're good. I love hearing I could. listen to you talk for hours, [snorts]. but. >> I tried to warn you that I am just the. rambling man. Lord, I was born. >> No, I love it. But I think that's. amazing that through everything that you. have accomplished when you're going. through hard times, the first thing you. want to do is go back to that space. where you were able to just be away from. everybody and isolated and just alone. with your thoughts to just figure it. out. I like I came back home from. Minnesota and like the first song I.

wrote like the end of the song is like. you're searching for a high but you. can't fly till you fall and it funny how. you find yourself once you lose it all. Home is waiting when there's nowhere. left to go you'll find love there I hope. you know and it's like the last little. part of the song and it's like it wraps. up that whole feeling of being like. >> searching for all these things I've. fallen. That was how you fly. Isn't it. funny? You can't fly till you fall. >> Yeah. >> Like a bird.

>> I mean, well, there's nowhere up nowhere. else but has to be thrown from the nest. to learn how to fly. >> Like, bro, that is Oh, that's so There's. more truth than poetry in that, but it. is so poetic. >> No, it's so real. So, let's circle back. >> Circle me back. I'm in love. I got you, baby. Listen, my husband's a. Sagittarius. I got this. Um, so 6 years. old, tell me what happens then. You're. living this rockstar lifestyle with your. family. Mom's dad's girlfriends are. calling the house. >> Yeah, >> it's crazy. You guys are partying.

>> Were you you were you guys exposed to. back then too and stuff or was it just. more alcohol? >> She she she would know better because I. was I was young. Like she has more. memories than I do. We talk about this. all the time where she was like, "Yeah, I was like nine.". >> So there's a big difference between six. and nine, you know, >> where it's like there's more memories. Um, but basically what happened is like. they got they got divorced and my mom. was working for my my dad had a a he.

owned a warehouse and it was a warehouse. that would hold um. uh. things that truckers needed to come in. town and pick up. >> like parts and stuff. >> Yeah. Like I think it was a lot like. paint based like paint for industrial. stuff. >> and uh the loosest kind of career ever. Like I'm talking like it was party at. the warehouse, you know what I'm saying? [laughter] But it would just be truckers. pulling up to this warehouse picking up. stuff. And my dad was a trucker before.

his whole life, which is why I love the. road so much. Like. >> um he was a trucker in his early life. And um. >> so they pull up to our house. Anyway, my. mom was working at that place with my. dad. >> When they got divorced, my dad fired my. mom. Okay. >> Son of a [ __ ] Yeah. Yeah. He. [laughter] fired my mom. And so my mom. had no career, no money, nothing. And my. mom was like, "Yo, I you can't have like. you like she fought for full custody.". Like she was like, "I no.".

>> Um. and so my mom got full custody and due. to that got the house that we were. living in. The house wasn't paid for. My. mom had no money. House got foreclosed. on. >> Okay. So this big giant farm life that I. was loving and was just like [ __ ] I. think we're like I think this is cool. Like we're good to go. >> Went to immediately like living in like. a two-bedroom apartment in we moved to. the suburbs. She moved us to the. suburbs. She's like, I got to I'm going. to bring you out of this like farm, put.

you in the suburbs. Like we need to get. you adjusted all this. Like my mom went. to being basically like an intern at a. job. >> to like top of the chain in like. >> that's where you get your drive from. >> 40 years or what or I don't know how. long it was that she worked at that job. but she retired like 10 years ago now. she's been retired but she went from. literally working for free to like top. of the list right. >> and but yeah and through those times and. like the first thing my mom did so this.

is this is part of my other formative. everything is like my mom was like, "All. right, dude. Like, you don't you don't. know how to be social, you know? I'm 7. years old now. You don't know how to be. social.". >> Were you not in school? Did they not. have you? >> Yeah, I was in school. Like, but but. this school that I was in when I was on. the farm was like five kids, >> right? >> You know what I'm saying? It was like. five kids. That kind of schooling pretty. much 100%. >> Okay. >> So, now I'm like seven or whatever, seven or eight. And my mom's like, "I'm. going to put you in sports. If you hate.

sports, you can quit, right? [snorts]. You can totally quit. >> But I'm going to put you in sports. because I feel like it'll give you like. this social uh acceptance of of being. like a team and like kind of forced to. make those friends, right? And you'll. have a coach which is a father figure. >> Okay. >> So, was dad did dad cut you guys off? Like. >> it was it was that kind of dad. So, he. stayed in Minnesota for I want to say. like four years after they had gotten. divorced and then he moved to Long. Beach, California. But in those four.

years, it was the. >> hey, I'm coming by to pick you up this. weekend and never show up. >> A. >> it was that it was like me waiting in on. the front step with a bag. >> Oh, that's so hurtful. >> And never and never showing up. >> And when he did show up, my dad always. just wanted to be like, "I'm so fly. I'm. so like it." Like he would he would go. and like get a big house in like the. really like poor neighborhoods like and. and try to like show off and be all fly. and this and that. And like he was just. he dude he was he was the best hustler. in the world. He could sell headphones. to a deaf guy. I swear to God, he was.

like the greatest. >> hustler ever. So I for a lot of his. life, I have no idea what he did, but. >> he could always have like a $100 bill in. his pocket and that was probably it. >> cuz he did die with nothing, you know. >> Um. >> sorry, I just wanted to ask cuz you said. that that you needed a father that she. wanted you to have a father figure. >> No. So I I had no father figure for. sure. Yeah. So she put me in sports and. like greatest thing any any tip to. people out there that have children? My. mom, I put on ice skates, got on the.

ice, got off. My mom looked at me and. said, "You're aing natural.". >> Yeah. >> And like from that point on, my mom told. me that about everything. And she might. have been lying through her teeth. But. that inserted something in me that to. this day, I believe I am a natural at. anything I do. >> I have so much confidence in myself that. like I'm meant to do this, you know? And. it's like delusion. And delusion is a. lot a big part of success, you know. >> Absolutely. Delusion and manifesting go.

hand in hand. >> 100%. [laughter] It's so funny. I've. done it my whole life. So like opposite. words like delusion, negative, manifesting positive. It's like. >> does delusion have to be negative? I. mean, I feel like you're avoiding. negativeity. >> It's not at all. >> I know. I feel like you're avoiding. negativity when you want to be in your. own delusional world. >> So I don't understand how it's negative. >> Yeah. Exactly. Oh, sorry. I'm telling. myself that I'm worth it. Like, >> oh, the world hates that. Don't ever say. that you are worth something because if. you do, they're gonna try to humble you. >> 100%.

>> Yes. >> 100%. >> So, mom put you in sports. >> Yeah. Put me in sports. Told me I was a. natural. I began playing sports. >> Did you stick with the sports? >> Yeah, for many years. My first So, like. check this out. So like my first I would. say from like 8 to 13 I was totally. totally uh 100% thinking that I was a. professional athlete, right? >> I love that. >> I was 100% like I'm a professional. athlete, okay? I played goalie in. hockey. I played lacrosse. I was nasty.

at lacrosse. >> Those are hard sports. >> I was goalie in hockey. I was nasty at. goalie. I played catcher in baseball. My. mom's like, "Yo, why not like choose the. thing that's not all eyes on you if. something goes wrong?" [laughter] Like, she's like sitting in the stands like, "Dude, you're the goalie in the back. that if the goal goes in, you come home. and you're like, I want to.". But she was just like, "All right, you. got this." You know, like I was a loner, right? I was a loner. I was an. imagination person. So, I chose those,

you know, when I zoom out and look back. on it, I chose those positions cuz I was. like sitting back in the net like by. myself. surrounded by no one just being. like talking to myself like yeah I got. [laughter] this like we good. >> cuz maybe in a way you always felt like. it was like you against the world. >> 100%. >> Yeah. So 100% even as a child. >> it was always like I always was like I. cannot rely on anyone else to make me. >> get there. I was always a lot a lot. later into my life one of my like. basically like mentors in my life told. me this thing that changed my life which.

was like your life will be so much. better if you can just be 100%. responsible 100% of the time when things. go wrong. There is it's a form of. empathy to just realize that you're. responsible somehow for it going wrong. >> And if you can stop being like, "Oh, poor me, poor me." Like, >> and just be like, "All right, cool. Lesson learned." Like, >> you you'll you'll be so much greater. So, like, yeah, I always had this like. 100% responsible 100% of the time. I'm.

going to make it happen. >> Um, so I was playing sports and then the. wildest thing happened when I was 13. You know, I'm flipping through ESPN and. watching these sports games, right? Professional athletes. And then my. sister is obsessed with Hansen. >> Oh, not a not a Hansen girl over there. >> No, full on Hansen. Full on Hansen. Okay. [clears throat]. And we're fighting for the remote and. I'm flipping to hockey and she's. flipping to Hansen.

>> And it just dawns on me. I go, I'm watching full-on adults. with their career. There is no child on. the ice in the NHL, >> right? >> And she's watching children play to an. arena of people at a professional level. >> These kids are like between 10 and 13. >> I think I can relate more to the. youngans on the instruments than I can. to the grown-ups on the ice. Mhm.

>> I was like, "Mom, get me a drum set for. Christmas. >> Get me a drum set for Christmas." That. was it. >> You were like, "This is it. This. >> get me a drum set for Christmas." And. like, >> were you musically inclined before? >> Not one. >> Did you sing? Did you write? >> Not one bit. >> Really? >> Always always in to to drawing and. painting. >> Okay. >> That was always my thing. Like I think. one of my other first career goals. directing now. >> Yeah. Yeah. One of my other first career. goals was to be a comic book guy that. drew comic books.

>> I love that. Um, so I was into like that. side of art. So I connected to that side. of art. But as soon as I saw this this. young with hair down to here being like. 10 years old playing drums to a arena of. people. >> And I I realized in that moment I said, I can't see what the hell the guitar. player is doing from the TV screen. I. can't see. I can't tell. This is too. confusing for my mind to understand. >> This piano player, no idea. Can't even. see it from the TV. I can just see he's. moving his hands. But drums. He's got.

sticks in his hand and he's got four. drums in front of him. I can see every. move he's making. >> Wow. >> I was like, I can learn from a distance, >> you know? I can learn that from a. distance. >> From that, it led me to finding Travis. Barker. >> Well, wait, wait, wait. Let's go. >> That is because I I play an instrument, too, which is piano, which I suck at it. now, but I grew up playing piano. And to. learn an instrument by watching somebody. is a talent in its own.

>> But you see what I'm saying with drums. It's like the only one that you can look. and be like, >> but that's still hard. >> You're going like this. You're going. like this. You're going like this. No. matter how fast you're doing it, I can. still tell what you're doing. >> That's crazy that you were able to do. that. So you got a drum set and you drum. sat there and you watch hand drum set. Did you discover Blink82 by then? So, I. had the drum set and I was still in. sports at this moment, right? Had the. drum set, would look at it and be like. this. And like I took lessons for a.

second. My mom put me in lessons and I. had one lesson. It was from a dude who. came over fully drunk and tried to pick. up my mom. >> on a date. >> And my mom was like, >> "Dude, I don't think we can make this. happen. Like, I don't think I can just. have like random men coming to this. house to like teach you how to play. drums, you know? I love your mom. She's. the greatest. One day you got to meet. her cuz she is so cool. Like I just got. this awesome new new house in Tarzana. That's like my it's my happy place. And. like I have she has her own room there.

full on. And I'm just like I'm like mom. when I get this house like I'm going to. get this house and you have to spend 6. months of the year at least out here. Period. End of story. >> You are a mama's boy true and true but. in a good way. >> Oh it's I love it. I love it. I have. great I have great I was raised by my. mom and my sister, right? Completely. >> like I have great female energy to like. make females feel safe and comfortable. and open around me and it's my like. >> one of my favorite qualities about. myself.

>> I'm so not alpha male. >> That's that's amazing. There's too many. uh alphas running around in the world. just hurting women. That's why so many. women have chosen the bear. Have you. seen this whole thing that's going on. online where it's like. >> they're like, "If you got they they've. asked women, have you seen this thing? If you get lost in like a forest, would. you want to be lost in the forest with a. bear or with a man?" And about 99% of. women have chosen the bear. [laughter]. Is that not insane? That's the world we. live in. So, we need men like you, Mod.

>> I LOVE IT. >> We need men like you, baby. Please. They. need to make more. >> That's so real. >> It's wild. But anyways, circling back. So you start playing the drums. >> Yeah. >> And is this when you had started I had. heard somewhere that you had started. like watching the Blink 182 and like. recording. >> So like drum sat for a minute like kind. of got a little discouraged. >> I'm going to look at my notes too by the. way cuz we're we're right here. >> Please do cut the camera. Cut to me. She's not doing [laughter] anything. There's nothing. >> I'm not texting. I swear. Um, they kind.

of like went to the wayside cuz I got a. little discouraged, you know, by like. the lessons and like and like it just. >> there was [clears throat] only so many. little videotapes that she took a Hansen. that I could watch, right? [laughter]. >> I mean, they only had like two good. hits, right? >> Yeah. I mean, don't say that around her. She tripping. [laughter] She tripping. She like, >> "How dare you?" She shows her Hansen. tattoo. >> I was not a Hansen fan. Was not a Hansen. fan. But do you really have a Hansen. tattoo? Okay.

I was like, "We got to talk about this, sis." [gasps]. Um, they really did only have like two. hits though that I thought of, right? Umbop and what was the other one that. were like mainstream? >> Give it a goo. Come on. >> You can talk. You can talk. >> Yeah, you can talk. We love that. Yeah, we we love that. >> Like, >> oh no, look at she's already Well, you. guys, [laughter]. you're being a little hard on Hansen. over here. >> It's a different kind of release. pattern. You know, music wasn't coming. up. >> I love that. A different release. pattern. I love that. That's amazing. [laughter].

>> That is hilarious. >> That's so funny. [snorts]. >> The world one, I feel like I remember. >> All right. All right. All right. They. had two hits. Okay. So, they had two. hits there. I mean, they're looking up. the. >> giving them two. Giving them two hits. Giving them two hits might have been. nice. >> I mean, >> you've never heard of. >> You've never heard of You're young. You're young. I can already tell you're. young. >> Yeah. >> All right. I already know how old you. [laughter] are. >> If she doesn't know who Hansen is, she's. too young for you, bro. >> 100%. 100 [ __ ] percent. Literally had. a conversation with someone the other.

night. He's like, "You don't know Hans.". All right. Okay. [laughter] Understand? No. >> And uh um. >> All right. [clears throat] So, you. started playing these drums and you got. tired of tired of listening to Hansen. >> And then all of a sudden, >> it must have been 1999 or 2000, like. 2000. All of a sudden, I see Blink 182, see Travis Barker, I see the coolest. looking person I've ever seen in my. life. And I'm like watching him play. drums and I'm like, "Oh, bet." I was. like, "I got a drum set in my basement.". I was like, "It's it's done. This is the.

person I connect with." And that was at. the time just when like Napster and. Kuzah and these other little things that. you could download videos. This is 56K. dial up internet. >> I just proceeded to download every. single thing. I would have to stay up. all night because the phone line would. get used. I' [laughter]. download these things and I'd wake up. right away in the morning as it was all. but this is this was actually the. greatest thing while you were.

downloading something um at these times. it took you like 3 days to download a. music video you know real talk and but. you could preview you could preview it. while it was downloading so if it had. 15% you could watch 15% of it. >> so I would sit this far from the. computer screen and watch that 5% watch. that 10% watch that 15% and sit there. and just I'm watching every I can see. everything you're doing. Everything. you're doing and um. >> that is crazy. >> And and proceed to do that. I mean, the. whole time my mom is going, >> get off the internet and go be a normal.

kid. I can't use the phone. Like, what. are you doing down there? And I'm like, >> guess this internet thing wasn't a fab. I guess so. I guess I kind of on to. something, huh? Yeah. >> Um, and I just proceeded to watch every. single thing and. was always the kid that was like, "Oh, I. can play like one song. Time to start a. band." You know? >> So, when did you start your first band? >> First band? 13 years old. >> Really? >> 13 years old. >> You just like one day, this is this is.

my 10 year ch, you know how you said you. change every 10 years? This was like. your 10 year change and you were ready. to just do something completely. different. Yep. >> I love that about you. And I started it. started it had to like and and still. again like it was it was really hard. because when I turned uh 16 right um or. or just so right as you're going into. high school so right as you're going. into freshman year that was when hockey. cuz I was like slated to be like a pro. goalie like I was a good Minnesota is a.

is a hockey town. >> and pros come from Minnesota and my city. that I was in Bloomington Minnesota we. had The scouts would come to our school. to pick pros, right? Wow. >> I was slated to be a professional. goalie. Okay. >> And I was working with goalie coaches. and like, you're gonna be a pro. Like, we got this, right? >> And I had to make like the hardest. decision ever at that time, which was. going into high school. This is right. when it right when it turned into like,

okay, sports is a job now because you're. going to go to school all day. Hated. school. Barely made it through. >> Same. And then you're going to practice. >> immediately from school. Like your life. is just you're you're in a 9 to5. Yeah. >> You know, >> literally. >> And I had to make the choice and be. like, >> "No, I'm going to be I'm going to be a. drummer. I'm going to be a drummer." And. I had to quit. And everyone like I had I. had grown men goalie coaches coming to. take me out to lunch to try to convince.

me otherwise. >> Don't do it. >> Don't do it. Trust me, you're a goalie. You're not going to be a musician. Do. you know you know how many times at this. time I got told one in a million and I. was like, you're looking at the one. >> You're looking at the one, my boy. Like. >> that's all it takes. >> Sorry to say I'm going to be the one. Yeah. you know, and I believed that and. I quit every sport, picked up a. skateboard, started getting really good. at skateboarding, and it my life just. became skateboarding and drums and.

wearing dickies down to here and Vans. and Famous Star Straps t-shirts. And I. had to change my whole appearance like. overnight like it all changed. Like I. don't care this whole poserism and this. whole like, oh, all of a sudden you're. dressed in the part like this. Oh, you. like punk music, so now all of a sudden. you got like Liberty Spikes and you're. wearing the Sid Vicious chain. Like, yeah, cool. Change your appearance. Are. people not allowed to grow? >> Yeah, exactly. >> And [clears throat] experience. different. >> But then again, that's the world. shutting the door on them. It's like. >> that word poser, it's like Yeah, for. sure. The first day I showed up to the. skatepark not knowing how to skate and. was like wearing the lame, like I was.

posing. >> Yeah. >> To be like y'all cuz I wanted to be like. y'all. >> But like don't ever for a second doubt. that a year later I was one of y'all. >> Right. But you put in the. >> Is everyone not a poser the first day. they doing something? You don't think. Van Go picked up a a paintbrush and felt. like a poser the first time he painted? >> Tried to paint. Yep. >> Looking like at other paintings. Like. everyone's a poser the first time they. try to do something they want to do. >> I love that. >> The is wrong with y'all? Like Yeah. Yeah. It's so real. And it's like people.

just be so afraid of, you know, whatever. It's so easy to do that. It's. human condition. Like you want people to. like you, you know? I love that though. that even at 13 you had such a a. confidence and such a strong mindset to. say, you know what, no, I don't care. that these grown adults are telling me. that I'm not going to make it. I'm going. to make it. >> Like I I've had that mindset my entire. life. Even as a kid, people told me, you're going to end up barefoot and. pregnant. You leave home. I left home at. 14 and never looked back. You know, you. have to be your number one fan. Nobody. else is going to believe in you the way.

that you do. >> And it's manifesting. You're literally a. powerful human being to be able to. manifest something like that, especially. so young, you know, and to sit there. I'm still mind blown, but to sit there. and learn how to play the drums by. watching music videos, that's like some. like crazy like, am I allowed to is it. politically correct if I say it? But. it's like Rainman like you are just like. zeroed in just like that. You must have. like a your IQ must be huge. Have you. ever had an IQ test? >> No, I never have. >> We need to do one on. >> but I really barely I really barely made.

it out of high school. You know, >> that doesn't matter. I know. Some of the. smartest people. >> Yeah. >> failed in school. >> Like you It's just not school to me is a. trap. But don't kids, if you're. listening, go to school. >> No, [laughter] for sure. Go to. experience school. >> Yeah. Go to experience school and just. have your friends and all that stuff. But yeah, to sit there and be able to. like, you know, >> just be so headstrong at such a young. age is admirable. >> Tell me about this first band and where. this took you. first band. I mean, the.

first band was like was like, you know, a couple of friends. Like, this really. was when I was 13, 14. And it was just. like, you're learning how to play. guitar. Like, you're the only one in. this city cuz I was in the suburbs. surrounded by jocks and cheerleaders for. real. Like, right, that was what it was. It was sports and cheerleading and. that's it. >> So, I'm in those suburbs and I found. like one kid that could play that was. learning how to play guitar. I was like, bet. like we're in a band, you know what. I'm saying? And it was really just me.

and a guitar player, you know what I'm. saying? There was no like and then we. found our like kind of like other like. delinquent homie that we're like just. pick up [laughter] a bass. Like everyone. says like. >> slept with the bass. >> Everyone's like, you know, like anyone. can play bass like [laughter]. no disrespect to y'all bass players like. but everyone kind that's kind of a thing. in music like you know Sid Vicious was. put in the Sex Pistols cuz he looked so. cool, >> right? >> They were like you just look so cool. Just pick up the bass, bro. Yeah. >> Like whatever. My dad's a guitar player. and and well was an extremely amazing. guitar player and he in his latter years.

in life just switched over to bass. because it was easier. >> Yeah, 100%. I mean, you got four strings. and you're usually only playing two of. them and you only have to do one at a. time. >> and you're just like. >> Yeah. [laughter] Yeah. It's awesome. You. got to have groove. You got to have like. falling in the pocket. But for sure. Um. so that band was more just like we're. learning our favorite songs, you know. >> What was the name? >> Uh Almost There. >> A I love that. >> Almost there. What a That's. >> the next band I was in though. >> We were 16. We were called the Sideline.

Heroes. >> I love that. >> That's That name still to this day is so. cool. Sideline Heroes. Like, >> why haven't you written a song called. Sideline Heroes? >> I know. I do. I really need to. I really. need to. >> I'd like writer credit for that. >> All right. Done. We're [laughter] going. to write it together. We're totally. going to write it together. You're. definitely doing the intro. We're taking. something from this. Um and uh and we. were rad. We were super rad. Like we we. were all like the bad kids in high. school. We were all the like, you know, failing students in high school and the.

like anti- everything. You know, this. was like oh the this was the this was. the uh revolution starter of guys. wearing girls jeans. You know what I'm. saying? And getting hated on. >> Yeah. So you guys were wearing skinny. jeans back then? >> Oh, not skinny jeans, girls jeans. Because they didn't even make guys. skinny jeans. Oh, so you guys were. literally just wearing. >> girls jeans. >> I love that. >> 100%. And I I dyed half my hair blonde, half my hair black, and I came to school. with, I kid you not, a briefcase, not a.

backpack. [laughter]. >> I walked through the hallways of high. school with a briefcase and a scarf on. in 70° weather. >> You would have been one of my friends in. in high school cuz I loved anybody who. was different. Like I have always been. drawn to the people who are different. cuz I'm different, you know? So I I. loved people like you. What was your. relationship status in high school? When. you started playing in a band, did all. the girls start flocking a lot more? >> You know, I always had like like I said, I have female energy,

>> right? >> So, I always had like a like girls. Yeah. I always I always did like and I. I've been very fortunate with like. >> the females that I've attracted in my. life. >> I don't think you have female energy. I. think you have safe energy and to. females that's huge. >> We don't want to be around predator. Earl. We want to. >> and also not hey let me talk to you. though in a way that I don't talk around. my friends. >> right. >> not that I'm like I'm like so the exact.

person in front of women and you know. what I'm saying? >> Yeah. That's how my husband is. He's. safe. Like women are okay being around. him and alone with him [clears throat]. because they don't have to fear of. anything weird and creepy. So, I had a I. did have a really cute girlfriend in. high school for sure. Yeah. >> What was her name? >> Uh Jenny. Jenny Skoo. What's up? What's. up? What's up? And I still my sister. still friends with her and talks to her. and checks in. But like that was like. Yeah. That was for sure the first love. of my life for sure. We dated like all I. want to say like all through high.

school, but she was like the really. pretty sweet girl that would like come. to like cuz we were playing like punk. rock shows. There was a venue in. Minnesota called The Garage. It was like. a youth center and we would play there. every weekend and like we got big in the. city. You know what I'm saying? We. really did. And. >> um that that led me to being in um the. first band that really like made it made. it type of type of scenario. Like the. first band I toured with, the first band. that like ever spoke to a label and any.

of that. And we were called The. Semester. And I I got I got to be in. that band because the two really good. artists, musicians that were like. musician kids that were like grew up in. church playing instruments and giving. guitar lessons to like grown men when. they were like 14, you know, >> really good. And I was self-taught, right? They were really good. And I had. to like try out to be in their band, you. know? It was like I'm like 16, 17, like. trying out to be in a band. Like this is.

wild. Um, but they were amazing and they. were from a different city, but the band. I was in that was all from my same city. would go and we'd play at this youth. center and it was a whole scene. It was. all the like outcast kids from. surrounding areas were there and they. were starting a new band and my band was. like breaking up and I was like, "All. right, I want to play with these guys.". And I ended up being in a band with. these guys after three tryyouts, you. know. I ended up playing with them. Um, and they would later break my heart and.

I would later bring them back into my. life. And. >> well, we got to talk about it. You can't. can't go over. Really quick though, not. to interrupt. Well, to interrupt you, I. just wanted to say, isn't it crazy how. your girlfriend was the sweet girl. coming to the Bad Boys show? Isn't that. so reminiscent of your mom and your dad? >> It really is exactly like that. >> Yeah. So funny. I've kind of never like. put that together in a string of. sentences. >> I had to like circle back to that cuz I. just I thought that was really sweet. >> And it totally was like I'm not wrong. Huh? It totally was. Yeah.

>> Yeah. >> So what did these boys do to you? What. happened? >> Okay. Well Well so like from so then so. then uh I guess like sophomore year now. I was in this like really like good band. where we were playing every day writing. our own songs like recording and doing. all this. And I was the mouthpiece. I. was always the best mouthpiece. Like I. wasn't the best artist uh musician in. the band. >> cuz I was selftaught, you know? I didn't. even understand what timing was, right? I was just like, "Just play fast, man. What are you talking about?" [laughter]. You know,

>> we're playing punk music here. Who's. counting? >> And I was I was the mouthpiece, though. I would get us into the biggest venue in. town. I I was like, >> "Dude, I was the best at forming an. email. I could like hit the sentences. that the grown-up would be like, I. believe in this kid." Right? So, I'll. get us into the big venues. I would get. us on, you know, like I would get us on. to go do like a little four show little. mini tour by talking to other bands from. other places and I was getting the eyes. on us, you know, >> and uh the whole goal was like I'm going.

to be in this band for the rest of my. life. Like we got out of high school the. literally the day after I graduated and. I barely graduated. The day after I. graduated, we got in a tour van and went. on a three-month tour around the. country. >> Wow. playing shows for $20, sleeping on people's for the whole point. of playing a show is to get on stage and. go, "Hey, we got nowhere to stay. tonight. If anyone here wants to let us. stay at their house, like that whole era. of bands is done. It's long gone." You. know, >> my husband used to do that when him and. I first got together. I've seen him play.

shows to five people and rock the stage. like it was like he's playing an. amphitheater. >> I'm telling you right now, that's what. separates us and them. >> No, for real. You guys, not that we're. putting down new artists now, but it's. like you guys really were in these. streets. Like you guys had. >> sleep on people's couches. You guys, we. didn't have a tour van, a tour bus. When. this started out, we had a rental car or. when we graduated from the rental car to.

a sprinter van or not a sprinter, but. the 18 passenger passenger and then you. would get to the Sprinter, but. >> Yes. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Like there's levels to this. 100%. I get it 100%. >> 100%. I remember just being like, >> "What was your first show like that you. played?" Like. >> first show ever as a drummer. >> Yeah. >> First show ever as a drummer was like. >> at this you at this youth center. >> Okay. So you were 13 when that happened. or like 16. >> That would be like the first show that. wasn't like in our living room to like.

five people or like my mom. And then we. can circle back to my first show as. Modson Son because then you'll see how. this whole thing like builds up and then. boom and then builds up and then boom. like those kind of things and it's been. it's been wild with that. But um. >> uh so anyways, back to how they broke my. heart. Sorry. >> We we went on this tour. Okay. I was. like in contact with labels. I was like. this is it. This is my whole life. We. got back from that tour. They called me. on uh three three the other three of. them on the phone. Go. You're kicked out. of our band. You're not good enough.

Peace. These were my like best friends. These are everything. They literally. looked at me. They literally called me. and said, "Peace, you're not good enough. to be in our band.". >> And that was it. >> After you guys had just tour and we're. talking, did they get greedy? >> Pulled the rug out. They just said I. wasn't good enough for them. >> That wasn't good enough of a drummer. >> That's hurtful. >> And like just pulled the rug out. And. like I this [clears throat] is the most. beautiful time in my life because it was. so it was so hard and it created exactly. where I am today. I.

went I was living with my mom still you. know what I'm saying? Super broke like. being in a band you're broke like right. like. >> starving artist is real. >> Completely broke. And this is my first. now year out of high school. And my. mom's like, "Shit, dude. You were. betting everything on this.". >> And like, you literally were like, "Any. other plans in high school or what I'm. supposed to be thinking about? Like, this is all I'm doing." And they just. pulled the rug. I mean, my mom's such. like a she's like, "I'm going to go. knock on their door and talk to their,".

you know? My mom's like, "Nah." Like, she'll fight for me, right? Same with my. sister. And uh but I just like this was. my first time ever feeling like. depression, right? It's my first time. I. locked myself in my mom's garage and I. was a stoner. Oh, also I got kicked out. of the bank cuz I was like a stoner and. also like had found and like stuff like. that. Maybe a caveat that I forgot to. introduce. >> Let's not skip over that. >> But these guys were also super straight. lace and I was like I grew up with a dad. like telling me to party at age five, guys. Drinking. >> You guys were in church growing up and.

like we live a different life. But yeah, I. >> finish that story and then we'll we'll. sler back to the intro introduction to. drugs. So maybe glossed over that part a. [laughter] little bit. >> But I love that you take accountability. for that because a lot of people would. not. >> 100%. I mean I'll never forget the first. time like again I told them I was like. yo I tried and they were like. >> how dare you. [laughter]. >> You know they clutched their pearls. >> They were like oh your life is over. You. know. >> like that type of [ __ ] And I was like.

yeah dude like I was on mushrooms the. other night. That was crazy. You know. they're like they're like cool. They're. like bro this dude is losing it. you. know, so again, I do take. responsibility, but the way they went. about it being like, "You're not good. enough. You're out." Right? That was. like heartbreaking. Um, and then to just. be like, "Forget our number. We're never. talking to you again.". >> Um, so then anyways, locked myself in my. mom's garage, smoked all day, and. finally connected to Bob Dylan because. when I was young, it was just listen to. Bob Dylan. Listen to Bob Dylan. When. your parents are telling you to listen. to something, you're like, "No, dog.".

Like, you're my parents. Like, yeah. Right. But I was always like, there's. there's something there. And I like. force myself to like really get into it. And I just smoked listen to Bob Dylan. all day. And I was like, that's it. I. love this. Because when I was in bands, I would sing along to songs and then I'd. turn them off and I'd be like to my. homies who are really good and be like, "What? Hey, what key am I singing in?". "You're not even in a key, dog. You. can't sing. Don't ever sing." You know, telling me, "You can't sing. You're not. a singer." And I would hear, "I hate Bob.

Dylan's voice. He can't sing." And I'm. like, boom, there's our through line. They tell they say this dude can't sing. They say I can't sing. He did something. with it. I'm doing something with it. And that was it. I was like, I'm. starting my own thing. And if I can't. sing yet, I'll tell you what I can do. Like, I'm going to get there, but I'll. tell you what I can do. I can play drums. and I got rhythm and I can I understand. pattern. >> I'm going to rap. >> Wow. >> You can't tell me I can't talk, >> right? >> You know, >> I love that. >> So, it's like I love a high hat. A high.

hat's like a rap. D. and I was like, "Cool. I I'm going to. put that together, you know.". >> So, you're I see a pattern here that all. throughout your life, if somebody tells. you you can't do something, you're going. to prove them wrong. >> It's It's my gift and my curse because. it goes to authority, too, >> and ruins can ruin great relationships. that I'm in because I cannot be told. what to do.

Does that trickle over into like women. too? >> 100%. >> 100%. I run so far from authority. >> And that's like that's like anyone just. being like, "Try living your life the. way I live it, too." And me being How. dare you tell me [laughter] to change my. lifestyle? >> How dare you to tell me that I shouldn't. be staying up till 6:00 a.m. every night. and sleeping till 2:00 p.m. How dare you. tell me that I should try to like move. with the sun? How dare you try to tell. me that I should live like this or You. know what I'm saying? M yeah. And I'm.

And that's like my biggest thing that. I'm working on right now is like. understanding that like there's a. difference between authority of like me. being a kid and being like chased by the. cops for skateboarding on a six stair. There's a difference between like that. authority and be like you. >> Yeah. >> And a difference between someone being. like, "Hey, you want to like live how I. live too?". >> Yeah. >> You want to like meet in the middle, dog? Like you want to do that and not. just be like I'm your plus one like to. your life. >> Yeah. >> Like 100%. I'm really focused on like.

understanding that but it's a trigger. >> Are you in therapy? >> I have done great great therapy sessions. and then I like kind of. >> stray away. >> because of the authority probably. >> Yeah. >> Because you have somebody telling you. what to do. >> But they've given me so many of those. like here's the starting point, right? >> You know, which is what we need. Like. here's the starting point. Like like my. therapist gave me the greatest piece. ever which was like this is why you're. doing that because like I've seemed to.

uh end up in relationships with famous. girls, right? It's been like a pattern. and why you know people be like even my. friends be like man you're a star bro. >> Okay. >> I think you just like strong women. >> Boom. >> Who are driven? >> Boom. Boom. I was in my head being like, "What is wrong with me? Why am I like. like this? Why am I like so attracted to. like a celebrity woman and whatever?". And it's like my therapist was like, "Okay, so you watched your mom get.

completely everything taken away from. your for your father and think that she. was feel worthless and powerless and. you've seen, you know, her be abused in. multiple ways. You want to be with a strong woman. And. the industry you're in, the strong women. you're surrounded by are the ones with. fame. If you were working in an office, you'd want to the CEO.

>> Yeah. You feel me? >> And there's nothing wrong with that. >> And I was just like, boom. I feel so. much better about myself [laughter] cuz. I was like, damn. Like I'm a like what. is that? I'm like, well, I am from. Minnesota, small town. I used to see. magazine covers and be like one day. >> You're trying to rationalize it. But. there's nothing wrong with wanting a. strong woman who has her own [ __ ] going. on. It's the independence I think that. attracts you to women who are famous. because they can do whatever they want. cuz they have their own money. Yep. >> You know, so yeah, it does circle back. to childhood trauma, but.

>> doesn't always mean that it's a negative. thing. >> True. >> You know, truly. >> truly. And I am like where's the normal. girl in my life that works at Starbucks? >> Can we talk about some of your. relationships? We're going to circle. back to the drug thing, too. I haven't. forgotten, but can we talk about some of. your relationships? I did see a couple. of them online um of some girls that you. have been with, and I mean like Bella. Thorne, beautiful, strong woman. >> Take me on that journey. Dude, that was a really that was like a. really fun one and then like ended like.

really traumatically and stuff and like. that that was uh that was just like a. you know this was when I was a drug. addict and alcoholic and this was like. >> met her through friends was like look at. this like wild child girl. I was also. like in like this like I'm like very. hippieism like the way I live life is. very hippie you know what I'm saying and. uh she was on that you know I was like. this girl with like hairy armpits that's. like so beautiful I was like [laughter].

why is that so attractive to me like. >> cuz she's a rebel baby. >> it was like it really was I was like. you're so like just naturally like don't. give a [ __ ] and whatever. So um just. like so many amazing times with her and. you know I have I do have this like not. only with authority like I don't want to. be the plus one so it is hard to like. match the energy of like oh you're like. more popping than me you know. >> and like so so a lot of it was that but. like I was super supportive and I loved. watching her shine and uh she was very.

like very lived her life in like a grown. way and took care of things and all. that. Um, but it ended poorly. You know. what I'm saying? We were like in this. like maybe we're in like a like. polyamorous like like throppple. relationship. >> with this other person and I'm a jealous. person too. So I was like. >> even if it's another female. >> Oh yeah. >> Oh he said oh yeah. >> I'm just so jealous. >> A cuz you're a lover boy. >> I so jealous. Yeah. I have a jealousy.

thing again. Like I know my things to. work on. You know. >> when your birthday. >> March 10th. I swear to God, we've been. sitting here this whole time and in my. head Pisces just keeps [ __ ]. replaying. That ising wild, dude. Total. Pisces. Yeah, I love that. I'm a I'm a. Pisces Venus, so I'm I love hard. Like. when we love, we are just it's like an. ocean. We. >> dive off the cliff, too. I dive off the. cliff into it. Um, and like so, so. anyways, like this was definitely like. one of my first like really really, you. know, I' I'd love to beat the two and a.

half year mark, but they the these. things with me seem to ask last like two. and a half years, you know, and it was 2. and 1/2 years of my life. >> That's when you really get to know. somebody, though, and that's when the. masks start falling off. Like people. always say, "Oh, it's the first 6. months." No, it's not. It could be over. a year. And you don't really get to know. somebody until like a year and a half, two years into the relationship. >> Yep. My husband and I fought like cats. and dogs the first three years of our. relationship. I do not know how we. survived it and made it to where we are. because we literally had to learn to one.

we had to learn that we were both trash. bags and then we had to unpack the trash. together and then we had to decide like. hey are we going to continue to be trash. bags or are we going to try to just. level up together and I think that in. relationship. >> a real partnership like. >> but you know that's two and a half two. years is or two two and a half years is. where you get to a point of like it's. make or break and the two people can't. decide, hey, we want to do this together. and level up, which a lot of people. aren't built like that anymore. These.

like I heaven forbid if anything ever. happened, I would never want to date in. in society again because nobody knows. how to work on things and like really. >> struggle with somebody, you know, like. people don't they they want the. happiness and they want the fairy tale, but they don't want to struggle. They. don't want the lows, they want the. highs. You know what I'm saying? M. >> so I think that's probably where you're. meeting that um situation over and over. again is because you're picking partners. who don't want to do the work or maybe.

you at that moment didn't want to do the. work. >> So real so real. [laughter] So real. >> Sorry I'm not I'm not trying to over. here be be a therapist right now. >> Like I I I'm actually like tuned into. these conversations more than ever. because I'm like do I like just die. alone? Like for real? Like is that my. journey? And like like look like like. obviously it sounds whatever but it's. also like so romanticized to me cuz I'm. like tortured locked up artist in the. middle of the woods painting and smoking. cigarettes and [ __ ] writing books. >> Would you choose the bear or the man?

>> The bear. >> Because you said you were in the middle. of the woods. So would you. >> the [laughter] bear all day? And that. would be the same if I was a female too. I'd be like the bear [laughter] brought. up. >> You said the bear what? >> Yeah 100%. >> Sorry I just wanted to make you laugh. You're not going to die alone. You're. not. >> You know what? I know when I say that it. sounds like one of those things, but I. am like I'm such a lover boy in those. things where I'm just like. >> who like I Yeah. Yeah. I know it sounds.

like like sad, but to me it's so. romanticized and so just like you know. what? Like I've I've had it. I've felt. it. And like we'll we'll see what. happens, but I'm I am. >> in love with other things. You know, >> you have manifested, not that a woman. will make you any more than you already. are. You're whole by yourself, but you. have manifested everything in your life. >> Yeah. >> You are going to manifest the perfect. woman for you. >> You just have to believe that like you. have believed in yourself and everything. else that you have done in this life.

>> You have to start believing it. >> Stop romanticizing being alone and start. romanticizing falling in love. Start. visualizing your perfect girl. Mhm. >> I would tell you a trick to do, but I. don't know if I'll get in trouble on the. podcast, but it's it's it's like a um. >> Well, then cut it if it is, but tell me. >> Okay. So, when you're masturbating, Yeah. you. >> Mimi is like, "Oh, here we go." So, when. you're when you're m No, when you're. masturbating, envision the perfect woman. that you want and. >> masturbate to her and to you, you know,

fruition. >> That's great because I don't watch porn. >> That's manifesting though. But and they. say, I don't know if it's like a. witchcraft thing or a spell thing. I'm. not into that. But they say that if you. do that, you're literally manifesting. the person that you want and these. people will start coming into your life. It's real. Try it. Let me know how it. goes. [laughter]. >> Call me afterwards. >> I got to get past some of this previous. manifesting that I've been doing it. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Clear the slate. >> You told me that like uh 20 years ago, maybe.

>> Clear the slate. So if you're jerking. off to celebrities, you're manifesting. celebrities. Do you see that? You know, so [laughter]. >> word I'm thinking I'm thinking maybe the. therapist was wrong about the whole like. start of the trauma. I think we. [laughter] just actually found the. reason. >> uh yeah wasn't [laughter] the like mom. thing. It's like what you've been. >> it's a smorggas board of all of it but I. mean if you are whacking off to. celebrities it makes sense you know. So, so moving on to. >> No, it's back in the imag It's the.

imagination. You know what I'm saying? Like, >> but I do think watching porn f you up. >> Yeah. I I see I don't mind porn. It. doesn't bother me. But I when it's a. problem. Like if you're watching porn. more than touching your partner, then. that's a problem. >> Oh, yeah. >> Yeah. Which that happens in a lot of. relationships. >> Oh, 100%. >> Yeah, it definitely. >> 100%. [laughter]. >> Moving on to your next relationship. The. one that your most recent one are we can. >> most recent. Yeah. Can we touch on that. one? >> Yeah, certainly. >> That was a brutal year for you last.

year. >> Yeah. >> Can you take me on that journey? How did. you meet Averil? >> Um, we we uh we met through music, you. know, we met through music and it was. like it was a a great time like I worked. on an album that she was doing and we. had a song of mine together and um. >> it's called what what is it called? >> Our song is called Flames. Yeah. >> Flames. Yeah. You guys got to listen to. the song. It's a great song. Yeah, it's. a great song and like we met through. like a really awesome way which was. making music, you know, and it was.

lovely and she was like true talent. being around like really true talent. especially was as like I I write songs. um for other artists as well, you know, and produced for other artists as well. And she it was like amazing like coming. up with an idea and seeing someone like. so talented. >> sing it and it was like it was it was. incredible. And also I've known who she. was since I was a very young kid in. Minnesota. >> I heard you had her posters on your.

wall. >> 100% at a post manifested. See whacking. off, mod. All right. Start manifesting. and whacking off. >> Yeah. Yeah. Right. [laughter] I know. Low key. >> That's your homework. >> Low key. And she was Yeah. Yeah. So, um. it was like just a really it was a. really it was a really beautiful time. when we met and it was also in the. pandemic. So, like we, you know, like I. said, I dive in fast as [ __ ] I just. like completely dive into something and. um I think she was that way as well and. we just like ended up immediately being.

with each other and living together and. it was in the pandemic where we were all. stuck inside anyway. So, it was like. >> um it was. >> that's a way to get to know somebody. really fast though. >> Yeah, >> cuz that's what my husband and I did. We. got married a month after meeting. >> Yeah. And like. >> that's that's like how I've always been. >> Hop into the frying pan. Yeah. >> Like we're going to figure this. >> Yeah. And um and yeah, it was like a. really incredible time. She was like a. very she's she's like a a grown woman,

>> you know, and that was a wonderful. change for my relationship types to be. with, you know. Um. >> that's like the most amazing compliment. that you can give a woman. >> I love that. >> Yeah. >> Well, yeah. And and again, like I want. to give anyone that I was in a. relationship like the compliments. You. know what I'm saying? Like when we spoke. about Bella a second ago, it was like I. was uh uh directing a video for a band. called Pal Royale yesterday. >> and they're friends with her and the. whole concept of the video.

>> uh even if this doesn't make it in, I'd. love to tell you this. It's it's really. great. Um they don't even know that I'm. making this video for them. Okay, their. mother passed away last week. There are. three brothers in a band. Okay. Their. mother just passed away and they have. this giant song that's so good that was. already slated to come out and they're. like their label's like we can we shoot. a video please. It's a sensitive time. like we don't we won't be on camera. So. their management came to me and was like. can you put something together and the. whole thing is like friends and fans and.

other people from big bands coming. together to create this like moment of a. special video for them. Not like a sad. video at all. Not like a dedication to. their mom. Nothing like that cuz the. song's very upbeat. Yeah. It's like. showing them like we got your back and. like also like when you do a gorilla. video like that where you're just kind. of like all coming together on the spot. >> It's like usually just thrown together. Like I shot them like an expensive crazy. art video. Um anyways, jumping back. Uh. they their management knows that they're.

like good friends with Bella and they. were like, "Yo, would you be comfortable. if we invited her?" And I was like, literally was like, I would love to say. hi to her and and and give her a hug and. send her my love. You know what I'm. saying? >> I was like, I would love that. You know, a year after we broke up, I was like, [laughter]. >> if I ever see you in public, like, I'm. going to just give you the dirtiest. look. But it's like, I have nothing but, you know, love for that. So, like, jump. me back. Like, yeah, it was being with a. grown woman. It was awesome. It was, we're two different people, but um it.

was great. I think I think I had a great. influence on her. I think she could have. had a really more wonderful influence on. me just from the side of like grown up. and and being a grownup kind of, you. know, because I'm learning later in life. of how beautiful it is. Like I'm like I. said, I'm very secure of who I am right. now. And I've been a little lost in the. last like three years as far as like. where do I fit in or who am I? And um. you know there was there's great things. that I could have like taken out of it,

but. >> that just sends you a message again of. you're not good enough. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Certainly. Certainly. And and um. >> and like on top of that too, it's just. like uh. I had to like really regain this big big. empathetic heart that I've been missing. for a long time. And like it's really. come around lately this like leading. with empathy. You know I pray every. single day, right? And like. >> um in my prayers I'm just like allow me.

to lead with empathy and like be a. shining light. Like and my form of. empathy is just finally attached to like. being like dude you got to get outside. of yourself and when someone does you. wrong stop thinking. them you did me dirty. I'm out for. revenge and this and that. it start. being like just be in their position. like step outside and um and things have.

like formed in my life lately where I. was just like oh my god I don't I can't. have any of those feelings for anyone I. couldn't force myself to anymore you. know if we had done this like talk like. 3 months ago I might have been like man. that person. >> no. >> I want I want ow she hears this you know. what I'm saying I'm just like yo running. to you all love I hope you're well cuz. like I That's healing though is being. able to you know put. >> I don't maybe it's egos heartbreak aside.

and be like hey man I understand you. were going through your own too. >> 100%. >> even though you shattered my heart. >> stomped on it on the way out I still. love you. >> and I am responsible for what happened. as well. >> Yeah. >> in some way it trickles down to that. It's like, you know, I I didn't give you. what you. >> communicated it a lot of times too, what. you needed, you know, and like that that. was another great thing I learned from. the relationship was communication cuz. like I'm like a run from the problem.

person. >> Like literally like leave the house. >> Like I don't want to fight. I'm out of. here. >> When you calm down, I'll be back. >> That's so corny. >> Yeah. >> That's so the wrong way to go about. things. Yeah. >> Um. >> and so my communication skills have like. gone through the roof lately. and and. and uh and just being empathetic and and. also like I I don't think it it's hard. to get there when you're not in a good. place. >> Yeah. Well, you're when you're still. emotional. >> Yeah. When you're still on the other. side of it being like, man, like I I'm I.

feel like right now. How am I supposed. to be happy for you? But it's like. >> it's okay that you felt like that, too. >> Yeah. And Yeah. I know. I know. And. that's what you know, my best friend is. is Machine Kelly. And he is love. He is. he is I I talk to him if I'm not with. him that day. I talk to him on the phone. for three hours every day and he is like. >> we are so there for each other. It is. like literally I I talking about all. these relationships and stuff haven't. felt emotional. I feel emotional talking.

about how much I love my best friend. >> He is like tell me about you guys'. relationship. I want to hear all about. it. Look at my eyes right. I know. That's what I want to hear about it. >> All right. We're back guys. [clears throat] Ladies and gentlemen, we. just had to take a bathroom break. Mod's. eyes were floating. He had to pee. >> Extremely caffeinated [laughter] right. now. Everyone like extremely. caffeinated. >> So, tell me about you and uh MGK's. relationship cuz you got a little. teareyed before you had to go. >> pee. I did. I did because he uh we we've. met each other. We've known each other. for over a decade now. Um he has seen he.

sees me the way I would love the world. to see me, right? M. >> and like I I think I'm a pretty good. representation of that. You know what. I'm saying? But he really 100% is just. like. >> I want you to I want the world to see. you how I see you, you know? And he is. that person in my life that is uh like. he he has like the truest like love for.

me as a person, you know, >> and wants to see me succeed and wants to. see me happy. And when I say these. things too, like am I just going to die. alone? He's like, "Bro, no." But you got. to start looking at the right. But. that's why I was really talking cuz we. really talked to each other for three. hours a day right now just about like. such real life stuff and and real life. things as well as him like, you know, the next song I'm releasing is a song. that I played for him and he was like, "Yo, it's great. This is going to be. your greatest song, but I want to help.

you take it there." You know, I want to. help you take it there. And then. >> is it rap or is it rock? >> It's a little bit. It's a it's a it's. it's it it's definitely not rock, but. there is a little bit of my like rap. influence in it. >> And um it's an interpolation. And I. think we're going to maybe talk about. like dropping this right around the. release of the song. >> Yeah, absolutely. >> And um. >> when will it be releasing? >> What? >> When will it be releasing? >> June 7th. >> Okay. >> Yeah, June 7th is when we're releasing. it. And um it's like me interpolating. You are my sunshine, which is like. >> in in this such cool way. It's like so.

cool how we did it and how we made it. happen. Um, but I've always been. avoiding writing the sun song like Mod. Sun, Modern Sunshine. Like I've always. been avoiding like writing the sun song. like I don't want to put my finger on. the pulse like that. And like I finally. did and I found this like really awesome. way to do it and it's the my my favorite. I've ever sound and my like coolest. lyrics that I just feel like a different. artist right now and every time I listen. to it it's like the first time. But um. but he's there for me that for that kind. of thing and then as well in his music.

like I've written songs with him for his. music and and we just look to each other. for that. But more more importantly like. our bond as friends is so powerful. It. is so. you know meeting in the middle of two. totally different people. We're two. totally different people and so. opposite. And uh I've just never had a. friend that like truly like cares about. me the way that he does. I don't know if. I've ever had anyone in my life that. cares about me the way he does. >> You know, he really.

>> soulmate. >> Yeah. Like he really like we were we. were meant to be best friends in this. life and like probably crossed paths in. another life and we're like. >> you guys were probably brothers in. another life. >> Cool. >> He's in your soul family for sure. >> Yeah. Cool. And like it's so funny like. Megan says stuff like that for sure too. He's like, you know, um but yeah, I've. just never I've never felt like someone. be so, you know, I don't feel like a burden to. him at all. Like, if anything, it's like. I'm um I I don't tell him enough, you.

know? >> And uh I'm I've been really good my. whole life at avoiding. uh conversations about myself, you know. >> I really like to be the person I read. the 48 laws of power way too early in my. life. And the first the first uh rule is. like never try to outshine the person in. the room. Like you know. >> I don't know if I agree with all of the. 48. >> [ __ ] no. And also it's [laughter] one of. those books that if you have read you. just don't tell people you. >> feel like it was like written by a. narcissist or something. >> Yeah. No.

>> I didn't know if it was okay to say that. because I didn't like your thing. >> And it's also one of those books that. I'm like yeah I I'm just not going to. tell anyone I've read that because. [laughter] they immediately are like if. they've read it too they're like oh so. you're an [ __ ] too. >> Yeah. Kindred souls. They're like, "Oh, so you're just like, >> yeah, me right now.". >> I tried to get into it cuz I went. through a whole spiritual I've been. going on my spiritual journey since. [ __ ] I got sober in 2017 and to now. And so I I went through a phase where I. like wanted to read books and I was. like, "This is what I'm going to do, you.

know, even though I have ADD and can't. do it, but I can listen audio books all. day long. >> Reading them can't do it.". >> It it's a it's a task. >> literally. You got to really have to. push yourself to do it. >> Push yourself. It's weird how much you. plan. It's like people are supposed to. just like be like, "Oh yeah, this is my. like read a book time." And it's like it. feels like serious work. >> It's like school. >> I do the same thing. I'm like, "I'm. going to read a book a week this year.". And I'm like, I get like one month into. it. I'm like, >> "Yeah, >> I'm going to read a book a month.". >> Yeah. My husband will do that and he'll.

read four books in a week and then he. won't read for the rest of the year. >> Yeah. >> He's like, "I've [laughter] taken all I. need from it and I'm good for this. year.". >> Yeah. Literally. But I did I tried to. read the 48 laws of attraction and I. [ __ ] started reading it and I was. like. >> is this like some like weird linguistic. [ __ ] hypnotic type like program your. mind type and I was just like I don't. want I don't want to consume this. >> And there's there was information that I. was able to like put towards my life. >> And then there was also stuff that made. me way less human. >> Right.

>> It was like yeah I'm successful but I. hate myself. [laughter]. >> You know what I'm saying? It's like I. hustled everybody around me to get here. What the. >> Yeah. No. Crazy, right? >> Yeah. >> I love hearing that about um you and. Kel's relationship because which I just. recently started calling them Kels. because my husband does. So, >> thank God. I They actually called me. when they're in the studio. >> Yeah. >> Cuz Jelly walked in was like, >> "Hey man, do I like call you like. Coulson now or something?" And Kel was. like, "Hold that thought." He got me on.

FaceTime and he was like, "Hey yo, what. should Jelly call me?" And I was like, "Bro, if you don't call him Cows, I'm. going to be so bummed." I was like, "You. know him, right?" I hate the Coulson. thing. I'll never call him that. That's. like the first time it's come out of my. mouth actually ever as that. >> It's so I only call him cows and I'm. just like hate the like, "Oh, I know. Coulson." Like that thing. I'm like, >> when people say I know Jason, I'm like, "Oh, you don't know him." [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> Jason's my husband. >> Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. I was like, "I. think you're talking about Jelly.".

>> Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. But um I. love that you said that about him. because I got that feeling about him too. because I'm really protective about my. husband and who he brings around and I'm. always the I'm the wife who's like keep. an eye on him and every time I say that. something proves right. And then when I. met Kels's um I looked at both of them. and I was like I'm so glad you guys have. this friendship. I was like you guys. both need each other because I feel like. he needs a big brother and I feel like. Jay needs a little brother and I feel. like and we like watching them on this.

you too. So now it's like it's just it's. a sweet little family vibe and I really. >> I mean I mean my my other thing with. Cal's too is I'm just like you know um. >> he's had a he he's had a hard time truly. being so what what I what he says to me. I want the world to see you how I see. you. I'm like that times 10 with him cuz. I'm like. >> you're soing misunderstood. If anyone. got to have one conversation with them, they'd be like, "Sweetest guy ever, nicest person, like love this person to.

death, cool as [ __ ] not arrogant, so. humble, so everything. It's just the. perfect. >> human being. >> of like everything." And. >> he's definitely opposite of what I. thought when I first cuz I've had girls. on the podcast who have who have dated. him and um you know, they didn't of. course they didn't have great things to. say, but you get this idea of somebody. once you hear it from numerous people. So when I met him, I was like, "Oh, this. is just a sweet boy who has a wall up, you know, like. >> 100%.". >> And it was just like, "Oh, I get it. now." You know,

>> and genuine and authentic and all the. greatest qualities of a person. And I I. >> I can't wait, you know, I think he. should I think he should do your. podcast. I think he should do podcast in. general. I'm like, it takes 10 clips to. rewrite his narrative. And and I just. can't wait for the world to. >> to really know. And and that's not even. saying that they don't. Like I he has. millions of of people that love him. >> Oh, absolutely. >> It's it's really just being like I can't. wait for the other million that are out. there that that don't understand him to.

understand who he really is because he's. the greatest person I've ever met in my. entire life. >> He's lucky to have a best friend like. you. >> I I'm so lucky to have a best friend. And the caveat on that is now we live 2. minutes from each other and like it'll. be 3:00 a.m. and he just like walks in. my door or vice versa. And it's so. great. Like. >> it's the family you needed. You know, you got your sister and now you don't. have any brothers, right? >> No. >> There you go. >> I have a step brother. >> Oh, gotcha. >> Yep. I have a step brother. Super cool. Like, >> so take me on the sobriety journey cuz. you said that you're about to hit 5.

years, right? >> I'm about to hit five years. >> Congratulations. >> Thank you so much. >> Sobriety sucks. It I tell everybody that. [laughter]. >> that it's like it's the realest. I And. when I say sobriety sucks, I mean that. in like a joking way because you really. get to know yourself. Yeah. and you have. to deal with some of the hardest [ __ ]. you've ever dealt with in your life the. minute you decide to come become sober. >> It sh I mean I it changed everything. about me also uh the time that you know. if you you can you can kind of backtrack. to 5 years from now or 5 years ago um.

where the world of like cocaine which. was mying. everything. >> you can kind of track where it got. really scary and it's right around that. point. >> When did you start using. >> [sighs]. >> 2011. >> Okay. How old were you? >> Let's say I was what 3. So I was like 21. type like 20 I'm sorry like 23 22. So. maybe it was earlier than that. I. started I really started doing at like.

22 years old. >> Gotcha. >> Yeah. Um and like and and was that. person. It's so funny. Cocaine is such a. drug because it was like I was anti that. anyone who ever like did it around me. was like, "Oh my god, how what the. >> Yeah, >> dude. I did one line. I was addicted. from the first line.". >> You have that gene in you. You probably. get it from your dad. >> Yeah. And total alcoholic. I mean, my. dad passed away from being an alcoholic. like. >> and party animal. And you know, was. literally doing with me up and you know. when I was up like.

>> for real like. >> So dad resurfaced. >> Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I I would. love to get into all that, too. If we if. we I know we've been talking for what. seems like. >> it's about you. You know, if you wanted. to talk about it, [clears throat] talk. about it. >> I'm here. I'm not kicking you out. >> I love this. Okay, cool, cool, [laughter] cool, cool. >> This is your time. >> Um, I was addicted from the first line. of I did. I have the alcoholic gene. where it's like I can just go and go and. go and go and go like. >> and uh and being on stage and being in.

that lifestyle and being all that. It. was always like I wanted to be the best. at everything. So it became be the best. drug addict, be the best alcoholic. And. when you're trying to be the best drug. addict and best alcoholic, it means you. do more than anyone else. Yeah. you. know. Um, and's a funny thing because. when you first start doing, it's like, yo, like you want to do like you want to. do like let's do okay on the table right. here in front of us and it quickly turns. into by yourself in the bathroom.

>> Mhm. >> You know, >> or like if you had a couple drinks and. like you just wanted. >> Oh, yeah. But I was like a dark addict. You know what I'm saying? I was by. myself doing eight balls by myself. >> I did that one night. Not not to party, >> just. >> just sitting behind a microphone just. like, "All [snorts] right, like I'm. making this." You know what I'm saying? Like like all all night. I mean, um, it. was it was bender after bender after. bender. Like I was a up for three days. type of person and addict. And it went.

on for, you know, like over a decade of. my life. And to the point that there was. like really scary times, really times. where I was like able to hide it cuz I. was a fun the the whole thing is I was. functioning. I was a functioning addict. alcoholic, right? >> Um but to pass out to finally pass out. after being like tweaked out on for two. days. My. thought in my head was that I had to. slam a bottle of whiskey, you know, to. do it. So it was just like the cocktail. that kills you, you know.

>> Yes. Absolutely. Um, >> I used to do and that was my. >> So I'd get so low that I'd need to come. back up and then I'd have to go back. down again. I don't My heart is. >> 100% of it. 100%. >> Yeah. >> Like my my heart is because it it's just. like needs stimulation so much that now. I'm like like I said, I've drank four. shots of espresso today and a C4 and I'm. like but my but I I don't know. I don't. know. Like that's kind of like I operate. in those ways and it's not great. But. but regardless of that, so like I I have.

been going going going on this journey. and uh I basically like one day after. funny enough why I also have so much uh. love in my heart for Bella who we were. talking about earlier is like that was. the reason I got sober was the end of. that relationship. >> That relationship ended funny enough at. Coachella. So LA. >> I was about to say an LA love story. >> Yeah, [laughter] I know. It's so gross. It ended at Coachella.

>> It's so good. It it ended at Coachella. like literally at the festival and I had. a friend who lived out in the middle of. Joshua Tree and had just had like. Airstream trailers and I just took all. my in a backpack and went to this. Airstream trailer in the middle of. Joshua Tree and was like holed up in. there for two days to the point that. like my friend um who I was just with. last night, shout out Losty, uh he he. was like my quote unquote like assistant. like living with me at the time, kind of. a caretaker in a lot of ways cuz I was.

like in my really bad phase of being an. addict. He like had to drive down from. LA to Joshua Tree, like throw me in the. He found me in an Airstream in the. middle of Joshua Tree, like passed out. with like a bag of on my chest, legitimately, and uh threw me in the. back of the car and like drove me back. up to LA. And from that moment on, I. went on like a 6 day bender that if I. shut my eyes for maybe an hour. every 3 days during that, like I I. really was like pushed it to my limits.

And um. >> you're like on a side mission. >> I I really did. I really did. And um it. was also just mixing like whippets and. and ketamine and all all the all. ridiculous like stupid just like. ridiculous. But anyways, um after this. like long I wasn't at was staying at my. house. I was staying at my friend's. house after this long like four or five. days of being at my friend's house just. out of my mind. And I like came back to. my house and lined up this like really.

fating caterpillar lining. my eyes went and rolled into the back of. my head and um my guy who I was talking. about lost he basically like found me. just out down and out like on my bath. floor like came to him didn't have to go. to the hospital came to him and was. really like damn that that was it like I. just got my second lease on life I'ming. done I'm. >> so and I quit. And I and and to everyone. out there that is at all thinking of.

sobriety or what can come with it or or. you know how to do it or whatever. Like. I look at it in a way um that I also. made this great trade and it's like. again the world makes you think that. it's not okay to ask for something when. you're doing something that's like good. for yourself, right? Oh, I asked for. something. Okay. I was like, I have I. knew was going to get me from literally. a year into doing it. I was like is. going to okay. I had these big wide.

dreams in my eyes of being super. successful as a musician and, you know, getting the big record deal and making. it and getting bigger and bigger and. bigger and bigger and all that. And. I was blocking my blessing because I was. bringing around a suitcase filled with. shame everywhere I went. Okay, I felt. shameful every time I did a line of. Okay, so I can be working as hard as. I've ever worked and going so hard and.

making great things and doing all this, but I am telling whatever is up here. I'm a God person ever since I got sober. It brought me to like faith and God and. all that. Before it was just like the. universe and you're just telling. whatever you believe in that you don't. deserve it because you feel shame about. yourself. Now, if you're an addict that. doesn't feel bad about drinking or doing. or any of that, I don't think you're. blocking your blessing. I don't think. it's great for you, but I don't think. you're blocking your blessing because. you're not telling the higher power that. I'm a piece of. >> I was telling the higher power, I'm a.

piece of I don't deserve it. I don't. deserve it. >> And so, the second that I got sober, I. was like, check it out. I was like, God, I was like, what whatever this is that. I'm talking to, like, I'm going to show. you that I'm worth it and I'm going to. make the great trade. And the great. trade is I am going to change my life. and stop all this shame. Put down the. cocaine, put down the alcohol, put down. the And in return, I want you to give me. my dreams. >> I want you to give me my dreams. And I. swear to you not, like within a year,

like every one of those dreams that I. hadn't checked off of my bucket list. happened just like that. >> And I'm just like, yeah, it can sound. selfish to be like, I want something in. return, but I did. And I got it. And and. it helps me stay sober knowing that like. I owe a favor. I even owe a favor of. being like, thank you so much. You did. it. And like whatever I do from here on. out, extra credit. It's extra credit because. I know that I asked you for a specific. thing and youing gave it to me.

>> That's amazing. That is a beautiful. story. I love that even in your lowest. moment you. >> cuz most people will like overdose or go. through something like that and they'll. be like, "Oh, I made it. Maybe I should. do it again." Or they don't learn their. lesson. And in that moment, you were. like, "No, this I'm fed up and I'm going. to do better." And it seems to be a. pattern in your life of proving that you. are worth it. And I think that stems. from maybe your dad not coming around as. a little boy.

>> And but that's been your drive. >> What has been your cross to bear has. also been your saving grace. >> Mhm. >> You know, and it's beautiful. >> You're awesome. Thank you. >> No, but it's so real and I'm so proud of. you. Like I'm genuinely proud of you. So. that and that's why I say sobriety does. suck, but it's the most rewarding. journey you will ever be on. >> Yeah. And I think a lot of people in. this world need a role model like you. They need somebody who's, you know, looks like you cool and tattoos and is.

in the music industry that is showing. like, hey, I have struggled my ass off, but I'm still fighting. I'm still here. You're not going to keep me down. And. that's that's a role model to me. That's. what people need. >> I love that. And I would I would love to. be I would love to be able to do that. for anyone, you know? That is that is. truly my goal. like in in my prayers. too, I'm just like allow me to be of. service. Like allow me to be of service. today to all all the people down here, you know, and and and just reminding.

myself that that that service can come. as far it it can be as huge as as saying. something that changes someone's life. It can be as small as some as holding. the door for someone, you know, >> and just like lead with that. keep this. light around you and you know finding. your worth and finding your purpose and. all that is really important but like it. all boils down to like dude how do you. just like how are you just proud of. yourself? >> Yeah. >> How are you just proud of yourself? How. did you do something nice today that.

made you feel proud of yourself? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. That's so real. >> Can you talk about doing your dad? Like. he came back around and like how that. >> Yeah, 100%. So like my um my father we. we had these points in our life where I. would go years without talking to him. you know through being like man you. you're a piece of or you you hurt my. sister you know her relationship was. even harder like with him in a lot of. ways you know and uh and like you know. you can go outside if you need to cuz I.

know you can start crying if I start. talking about. >> I I have dad trauma too so I'll probably. cry with you guys. >> I'll [laughter] give you a big hug. I. promise. >> I'm sorry. Um, and so like, uh, you. know, he was a couch surfer, hustler all. the way until the day he died. But. basically, we had gone years without. talking to each other. And, uh, his. girlfriend one day cuz I had moved. So, he he was living out in Long Beach. Um, I got, by the way, I got sent out in the. middle of high school, senior year. My. mom couldn't couldn't handle me anymore.

cuz I was just like a troubled kid. She. sent me to go in high school, live with. my dad in Long Beach, which was like the. funniest decision she could ever make. because [laughter] it was just like. insanity. But. >> a free-for-all. >> Yeah. Yeah. And so we would connect and. then um I was on tour one time. This is. why we had our big fallout. I was on. tour one time and I ended a tour in. California. This was like broke boy. touring still. I was still in a band and. I came and stayed at his house and I was. there and like we got wasted together. Me and my band was there. We were having.

like this like party. We got wasted. together. I walked out on the street. lights with him. He looked at me, both. of us blackout drunk. He looked at me. and he's like, the doctor told me I got. a month to live. >> and I was like, what the was like, what. the. I was like, I'm not going back home. Like, my band can go back home without. me. This is when I literally like was. like out cuz Okay, it's funny. I kind of. skipped over something in the band. thing. I got kicked out of that one.

band. I got picked up by another band to. play drums. That led me to being in this. giant band called Scary Kids Scaring. Kids playing drums. It all Yeah, I. played drums to them and it all worked. out. My first tour ever as Mod Son was. Scary Kids Scaring Kids going, yo, will. you play drums for us? >> And I was like, I'll only do it if I can. open as Modson Son. >> Wow. >> So, where did the name Modson come from? >> It stands for movement on dreams, stand. under none. I looked up at the sky one. night. I said, what is my name? It came. into my head and I never questioned it.

Came into my head. M O D S U N. What. does that mean? Movement on dreams. Stand under none. What does that mean? Modern sunshine. Like that. That was it. It and I never questioned it once. There. was never any other name. It happened in. one minute. >> You're so spiritual without even really. knowing it. >> For sure. >> I mean, you might know it now, but back. then I don't know if you did. >> I like to believe it. It's hard to. convince yourself sometimes that you're. like connected to something, but I but I. believe it. >> for sure. But my first tour as Madson. was literally performing to a hardcore. post hardcore like crowd being just.

booed off stage. >> coming out rapping over Miley Cyrus. party in the USA like [laughter]. >> getting just booted off stage. >> Pay to see that. Somebody give me the. footage. >> Yes, real talk. It's out there. I was. sending to you. Um but anyway, so I I go. after this tour. My dad's like says this. to me and I'm like, "Yo, everyone can. whatever. I got my laptop with me. I'm. just going to work on this Modson Son. music that I really believe in. and uh. and. he never mentioned it again after that. night and he didn't die and I didn't see.

him go to the hospital. and I was like what the is going on here. dude like why would you tell me that. and nothing happened and I was like. there for like four months like. being like what the is going on? >> Yeah. And I'm not gonna say what I think. was going on me because I truly don't. know. But I didn't talk to him for like two or. three years after that. You know.

>> what I mean? Do you think maybe he knew. he had a terminal illness and just. didn't know how to tell you? Or do you. think he was. >> I don't think it was that. I think it. was something else that I would hate to. say cuz if it if I was wrong, I would. feel like an [ __ ] But it might. >> was a form of manipulation. >> Yeah. Oh, >> I think maybe I'm wrong and he just was. cured. >> I don't know. >> Yeah, >> I don't know. But it me up [snorts]. >> and I went like two or three years. >> Last piece of trauma, Dad. Thank you. >> Yeah. I went like two or three years. without talking to him.

>> And then all of a sudden, I was living. in California. Okay. I had moved out to. California by this time. Fast forward. three years. I'm living in California. I'm living up in North Hollywood. and. his girlfriend called my sister and was. like, "Yo, your father's in the. hospital. He's on like not like life. support, but maybe like something like. that, like. >> dialysis or something.". >> Yeah. Are you talking about when he. started living with me? >> Was this when I flew out and stayed in. the hospital? >> Yeah.

>> Okay. So, I guess he was in a com. >> I love how detached you were from it. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, "No more. pain.". >> No, no, no, no. But check this out. I. drive down there, okay? Drive down to. the hospital. My sister's still living. in Minnesota at the time. She flies out. and basically his girlfriend had to show. up to be like, "Here's your dad's bag. He can't live with me anymore.". Okay. Kicking him out, which I don't. blame her at all. Dude was like a crazy, right? So, I'm like, "Here we go again.

Let's open the door. Move up to North Hollywood with me." My. dad ends up literally sleeping on my. couch. Like I'm talking my grownup. father like sleeping on my couch and. like being like my kid. And my dad knows. that when I'm talking like this, I'm not. talking down because in the same. sentence I'll be like coolest dude that. ever lived. Coolesting dude that ever. lived and I would not be me without him. You know, >> this is not like hate train. This is. just like what it was. You know, >> it's hurt. It's pain that you're allowed. to talk about. >> Yeah. and uh and you know so he starts.

living with me and we're having a great. time because this is like my friend you. know. >> this is like truly my friend and uh and. so you know we're living at this house. in North Hollywood which is where my. like days like really got out of. control. I'm talking like the ugly where. you just have like a plate out at all. times. >> Been there done that. Yeah. >> I had a candle like a candle holder that. had lines just lined up on it all the. time. >> Yeah. We think it's so glamorous and so. cool. >> Yeah. It was so MySpace. >> Yeah. So rich. I [laughter] know. I.

know. And um and yeah, I mean he just. proceeds. What what really up was that. the doctor was like, "Dude can never. drink again." You know, if he ever. drinks again, he's going to die. >> Did he have cerosis of the liver? >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> So it's like he ever drinks again, he's. going to die. >> He's in your care. >> And I'm like I'm like, "Dad, you can't. drink. You cannot drink because you're. not dying on my hands. You cannot. drink." He's like, "Didn't tell me I. can't do coke, [snorts].

>> right?". >> They just don't want help, man. That's. how my parents are. >> But I'm like I'm like, "You're not. wrong." I'm like, like, "It's 3:00 a.m. I'm I'm by myself. You want to I guess. let's blow these lines down." Like, "Yeah, you're not wrong. They didn't say. that." You know, >> they said no alcohol. >> And like again, dude was so cool. I wish. everyone in the world could meet him. because he was so cool and charismatic. and funny. Life was a joke to him. Life. was literally the purpose of life was to. make people laugh. And he would make. youing laugh. He would own every room he. walked into and make every.

He had women. Like women loved this man. >> Charismatic. >> He he could be living out of his piece. of car and he would be able to be in a. relationship with a beautiful woman. Like they loved him. >> They love this man. >> Probably his first life here. >> Yeah. >> You know. >> Yeah. True. True. Certainly. And. >> he came in just ablazing. Life's a. party. Yep. >> And so. >> I ended up moving out of that house to. another house down in Laurel Canyon and.

I got a room for him because I was like, "All right, my dad like rolls with me. Like this is my road dog. Like you come. on tour with me, you do this with me, like whatever." And uh things were going. fine. And then I went into his room one. night and I found a bunch of plastic. bottles of vodka under his bed. >> Oh, dad. >> And I was like, "Yo." I was like, "You're out." I was like, "You're out, bro. because I'm you're not dying under. my roof. >> Yeah. >> Like I'm not going to take the. responsibility that I'll live with for. the rest of my life that you died under.

my roof. You're out. And it was so hard. because again I had to disconnect from. my father again. >> Yeah. >> The same cycle all over again, >> you know, but I knew it was the right. thing. >> I knew it was the right thing to do. So. then he goes off, lives with another. girlfriend. You know, that was kind of. his thing. He go find a girlfriend to. live with. And uh and. it's it's hard because, you know, we.

didn't die he didn't die on the best. terms with each other, you know, because. like another two years, whatever went by. and uh. >> damn dad was hanging on. >> Yeah. >> For dear life. >> Yeah. Yeah. And uh you know. I. you know I got a call last night. I've. talked about this before so I'll talk. about it again just because it is a big. part of the story. But I got a call from.

him one night. We always had this deal. He was like if I die you get my bird. He. had an African gray parrot his whole. life. This was his best friend. He had a. love relationship with this bird for. real. He was this was his his soulmate. was his bird. And he was like when I die. she's yours, right? And so I got a. voicemail on my phone one night that's. like, "Hey, man." I could hear it in his. way. Hey man, you know, something's came. up. Uh, Ruby's yours. I'm like, "What. the what the what the what the going. on?" So, I get in my car and I start. driving down to Long Beach. And I'm. calling him over and over and over and. over and over and over and over and he.

finally answers. He's like, "It's. already done, man. Don't even just turn. around. Just turn around. It's already. done. The deal's already done. Just turn. around.". I'm like, "Dude, I'm 20 minutes away. Just hold on. Just hold on. Just hold. on. Dude, I get to Long Beach. I kick. open the door and he's like sitting. there with his like in the air like in a. pool and I walk in, slip on the fall. into it and I fart starts slapping him. slapping him just like what's your. favorite Almond Brother song? What's. your favorite Alman Brother song? He.

like his eyes come open. He's like. whipping post. If anyone knows the song. Whipping Post like he's like I feel like. dying. It was like the craziest to say. in that state. But anyways, that being. said, ambulance was called, came um and. brought him back to life, saved his. life, brought him back to life. All. good, you know, [ __ ] happened. >> That is so traumatic for you to. traumatic. Like, I'm trying not to cry. Very traumatic. So, you know, and all. good. And he he made it through. And you. know, at that moment, I was like, "Dad,

>> you need to get help. when you get let out of this hospital, they stitched you back up. You got these. badass stitches now. All right. I know. you like that, Mr. Hell's Angel. Like, you know what I'm saying? It's like, they let you out. I'll put you anywhere. you need to go to get help. I got you. Whatever you need. And he was. just like, man, I was wasted. I don't. even remember what happened. You know, my mom who has this horrible.

relationship with him calls him and is. just like, "You need to apologize to. your son. >> Apologize. >> You need to apologize to your son." And. he's just like, "I won't do it." You. know, >> and so boom, we we we split. We split. there. That was when I was like, "Whatever." But that was when I went. started going really off the rails cuz. this was still drug addict, you know. I. went really off the rails. >> That's a lot of trauma. Scaring my. family. won't pick up the phone. You.

know, the crazy thing is like when when. I got into my car after the ambulance. came and picked him up, I was like, "You. son of a bitch." I was like, "You. my crazy kind of narcissistic mind as. well." It's like, "You you were giving. me a story, weren't you? You were giving. me some kind of crazy story from my. life. Like, weren't you?" Like, you son. of a [ __ ]. >> I almost got from that story, and I was. going to say this in a second, was I. feel like your dad knew that you would. save him. Yeah. >> So, I don't think he really wanted to. die at that moment. I think he just.

>> I don't think he did either. >> Knew. >> I don't think he did either. And also, I. did I also part of me is like. part of me is like my dad is a dude who. doesn't want to look like a faker. >> As soon as he found out I was on his. way, >> that's when I think he did this. >> I am so sorry. >> And uh. >> that's not okay. >> No, it's not okay. And and and that was. when that was when I really had to cut. off this relationship. That was when I. really had to cut it off. >> Understandably. >> Yeah. I really had to cut it off because.

I was like, "Oh my god, this is like. insanity." I was like, "This crazy. also." And then in the same breath, I. was like, "You son of a [ __ ] You. wanted me to have this goddamn story of. like [laughter] pivotal whatever in my. life. This is when everything changed. and now I'm worth it to be an artist.". Like I whatever tortured artist syndrome. like Van Go cut off his ear. That whole. goddamn thing through every artist into. thinking they have to be tortured to be. brilliant. >> Yeah. My dad was [clears throat] like. that. I'm like, "You gave me this. All. right, I'm going to wear it as my badge. of honor now." And whatever.

>> I mean, he's given you a lifetime of. trauma. >> Yeah. >> Wasn't I mean, that was that was a huge. piece of it, but he's started when you. were young, baby. >> Big facts. Big [laughter] facts. And uh. he moved away um with another girl and. then uh. >> even after he split slit his wrist, he. just moved away with another girl. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And uh we'd. reach out every now and then. And then. the what the the bummer is this is like. we were supposed to meet up um like. maybe this was like 2 years after this. happened. We're supposed to meet up.

He's like, "Hey man, I'm coming down." I. had like healed from this a little bit. I was like, "Yes, let's get lunch." You. know, let's get lunch. >> I healed from this, you know, and and. and and I do want to talk to you. And. god damn it, I miss you. You're my dog. You know, >> you're my dad. of. >> that little that little boy in you just. wanted your daddy. >> Yeah. And um. >> he was uh he was he was he made plans to. come down um on a train and then Oh my. god, I didn't zip up my zipper after.

>> Oh, I can't. >> [ __ ] I went to the bathroom. [laughter] halfway, but good thing we. got camera angles, but keep that in. I'm. a real person. And uh and um so he he. was he was he he had he was getting on a. train to come down and the day before. he's like, "Hey, man. Uh, so can you. pick up me and my girlfriend from the. train station and then can you take us. to this classic car lot? We're going to. look at buying this car. And I was like, bro, what the I'm not trying to see you. and your girl. You were coming down to. my You were coming down to see me. Now. this is about you and your girl coming. down to buy a classic car. Like, what.

the I was like, "No." I was like, "No, dude. No." I was like, "I was going to. see you." And I was like, it was a lot. for me to even say I was going to go get. lunch with you, you know? >> And [snorts] I was like, "No, no, it's. not happening." And um and then shortly. after that, he went into another coma. and that was how he went out. But but. the caveat to all this is that when I. got to go see him in the hospital, I. brought a little one of those little. like JVC speakers in my pocket and it.

was during co so it was a one at a time. thing and like my sister went in, you. know, my sister never should have done. all this but she had to take on like all. of this like the adult, you know, cuz he. had no one. He had no one and my sister. took just all this which I love you. I. love you. Look at she is getting all. strong. You have my glasses. Um, and. anyways, anyways, anyways, cool rock and. roll part about it is that I got my. >> Should we all just hug right now? I feel. like everybody's crying. I feel like we. [laughter] need hugs and.

>> Yeah. Come on. I like this. Yes. Yes. Fact. Come on. Come on. S. Come on. I. didn't want to give you a. >> Yeah. >> Um, cap capping the cool part. Here we go. Okay. So, like my sister goes in and. sees him and like I go in and uh and and. get my chance to see him and I pull out. this speaker and I turn it on full.

volume and play whipping post by the. Almond Brothers [laughter]. >> and I get kicked out of the hospital. >> Oh no. Very rock and roll. >> And I gave I know he was cuz cuz when I. said I was like what's your favorite. Almond Brothers song in this crazy time? I was like, man, that might be the last. thing that he heard, which is like his. song, dude. >> And uh. ah but I thought that was just the way. that he wanted to go out and I was like, I'mma give that to you pops after all. this. Hell yeah. You know,

>> that's the way you'd want it. Me get. kicked out of the hospital coming to see. him, you know? >> Oh my god, dude. That is. >> a lot. >> Yeah. >> A lot to unpack, a lot to process, a lot. to hear. I couldn't imagine living. through that. You know, you and your. sister both are so You guys are make me. cry, man. >> You guys are so lucky to have each. other. >> Straight up. 100%. You guys are so lucky. to have each other to just go through.

>> all this up together. And you know, >> I have trauma with my family, too. And I. have learned with my dad especially and. and my mom. And before my mom died, it. was kind of the same thing with I. inherited custody of her and [ __ ] had. she her and I ended up not talking and. she ended up just dying abruptly one day. in my care. >> And the biggest lesson that my mother. ever gave me in her life was in her. death. And it was forgiveness. That if.

no, which forgiveness is on everybody's. own terms and on your own time, but. >> forgiveness is for you. it's not for. them. And you know, our parents for some. reason that generation of human. >> did not want to fix their trauma. They. were content being wild Helens and you. weren't going to tell them. They were. going to live their life how they wanted. to. It didn't matter who they hurt. >> and we are here to correct that. You're. a gener you're breaking generational.

curses. >> Thank you. I I I I've have been telling. myself that for a long time, you know, >> you are you are you're doing it. >> I was like, my dad was so close to being. the. coolest in the world and he just. couldn't get past this one thing and I. was sabotaged himself. >> Yeah. I was like the the the tree was. going like this and then, you know, from. me on out it goes like this, you know. >> Yeah. No, but you are you guys are both.

breaking generational curses. You guys. are doing everything right and you guys. are. just beautiful humans and I want you to. know that I'm so sorry that that is part. of your story. It's really heartbreaking. and there's not much more that I can. even. >> No, thank thank you for all that and and. it is you know like again there's like. that flip side to everything and like. you know my sister shortly after all. this had happened. Um well she had just. moved out to to LA but but it it really.

has brought us to like this thing where. we're just like man the world like we. got each other you know. >> Yeah you guys against the world. >> And she goes on tour with me. She's. She's tour managers and. >> Well, no wonder she's banging the Who. are you banging? >> Oh, yeah. The drummer. >> The [laughter] drummer. No wonder you're. banging the drummer. You're always with. them. >> I mean, that now I get it. Now I get it. It's It's the inevitable. You got her on. tour and everything. I mean, yeah, for. sure. I'd be banging the drummer, too. >> Yeah. Yeah. But she's my ride or die for. sure. >> Thank you guys for sharing that. That.

That was really heavy. And you know, I. just hope that you guys are able to find. peace with everything one of these days. whenever you're ready. And. >> yeah, I hope Yeah, I feel like I I'm I. feel like I have in a lot of ways, you. know, like I've always felt like I've. been able to like zoom out from the. situation I have and like, you know, obviously just, >> you know, hope for you. My sister's gone. through like everything I have but plus.

more cuz she was like had to raise me. >> you know in a lot of ways you know cuz. my mom was like a single mom so she had. to work all the time you know all the. time. >> Yeah. >> All the time had my mom had to work and. like greatest mom in the world and is my. mom and always felt like my mom but then. when I grow up I realized like being. able to talk to my sister that it was. like oh no my sister like had to raise. me as well. You know, >> it's crazy because I don't know if you. believe in it, but soul families like we.

pick our families for the lessons that. we want before we come. >> Wait, really? >> So, I this is what I believe. Not. everybody believes it, but I I truly. 100% wholeheartedly believe that we have. soul families and that can reach out to. our friends that can be that can be like. your sister. Like your sister could have. been your mom in another life and that's. why she's so motherly to you. Your dad. could have been like a son in another. life and that's why you were kind of. like his father here. You know, my mom, I know it's crazy as [ __ ] and it's like.

mind-blowing, but my mother, like Tyler. Henry was just on my podcast and he even. Yeah, it's I You guys got to see the. clip on uh TikTok. It's at like 2. million right now. [ __ ] it's me. balling my eyes out. But my mom came. through and she was like, "I am so sorry. for what I've done to you." And she he. said that she's he she's showing me the. mother and daughter inverted. And he she. he said that you were like her mother. and she was like your daughter. And this. and that just confirmed everything that. I've ever believed in because literally.

I feel like we pick the lessons that we. want to go through on in life before we. get here. And I know it sounds crazy and. it's weird, but it's like our soul. listen our soul. >> is maybe the least crazy thing that. we've talked about today to me. [laughter]. >> I'm like, you know. Yes. >> Yeah. No, but I feel like without a. doubt our soul yearns for those lessons. and so your lesson. >> I always say you have to find the bless. and the lesson in every situation that. you have you know so it's like in the. situation with your dad what was the. lesson and what has been the lesson and.

then from that that is what you have to. work on in your life and what you're. here for that's your life purpose is to. figure out why your life took these. turns and went in the trajectory that it. did and your dad put you through what he. did because your soul yearned for that. before you came here. >> I know it's wild, but [laughter]. >> I mean I think I feel like you nailed it. for me like. >> Yeah, >> 100%. >> A Well, let's talk about something fun. You want to talk about [laughter]. >> Let's switch real quick. [gasps] You.

brought me a book. >> Yes. Yes. >> Did I ever wake up? What is this? Tell. me all about. >> That's my first book. So, I have six. books out, but that's my first book and. it's the thing that really changed my. life. Like that truly changed my life as. far as like art. Like Yeah. Yeah, of. course. >> Um, it's like how do you know this was. this was uh a 20 21-year-old Madson who. was living his life by the law of. attraction and the secret and the only. time I ever heard people uh speak on it.

especially at this time was much older. people you know that I was like I want. to make a version that youngans can hear. those words and actually connect the. same thing with the hockey and the. Hansen thing. >> Yeah. I wanted to make that I wanted to. make my version of the secret or the law. of attraction and what that meant to. from the the lens of a younger person. Um, so it's like very like creative. writing but motivational. It's like the. did I ever wake up is like basically. being like how to live your life like. it's a dream [snorts]. >> and believe that you're in a dream and. believe that you're like able to to make.

to Yes. to believe that. >> Um, and it changed my life. I mean that. book has sold like 200,000 copies. It's. it's it's the one thing that I've been. able to like live my journey through is. like this piece of in intellectual. property that is my book, you know, >> and you have six books. >> I have six books out. Yeah. >> Tell me about this. They're all This is. the only one that's like in in this. realm. And then I have like two poetry. books out and then I have three um. journaled kind of uh if I had one here,

it' be really easy to understand, but. it's like um I go on some kind of trip. and I write the first half of this uh. 100page thing or whatever. I write my. story just day by day. This day did. this, did this, this this and then the. cover is on the the same cover is on the. flip side of the back. So you flip it. over like that. it looks the exact same, but then you go to the pages and they're. blank. So, it's like two stories come to. live together and it kind of like. influences like the younger generation, the importance of writing and not just.

diary entries, but like to write and and. literature and and the importance of. those things that that live between the. pages, all the answers are in the books. truly. And um not my books, the books. I'm saying like period, you know. And uh. so I just like to influence like the the. world to to be in touch with especially. like the importance of literature and. just like telling your old your own. story. Not not for the simple fact of. being like the world needs to hear my. story, but telling yourself your story,

you know, documenting things, living. like you're dead like that, like living. like you're dead, living making art like. you're dead and gone. How important. would it be for your uh hundred years. from now people connected to your family. to find your journal? >> It would be so amazing for them. >> Yeah, >> they would love that. >> That is my brain is over. You already. know my brain is like going cuz I'm. writing a book this year actually too. about my life. But. >> great so important. It's so important to. it's I I think those things I tell.

>> as many people possible that like also. like check it out, dude. Music is is the. one piece of art that I do that I feel. has so little intellectual property. because my favorite song is like a. Rolling Stone, let's say, right? Bob. Dylan, like a Rolling Stone, regarded as. the greatest song of all time. >> That is 99 cents. >> right now. Okay, >> a song that a kid just made his very. first song that let's just let's just. for all sakes of this argument call it. terrible. Okay, >> it's 99 cents.

>> That is up to me. >> Yeah. If this is a song that's regarded. as the greatest song in the world, why. is it the same price as the song from. the kid that just made it last night in. one hour not knowing what he was doing? >> Yeah. >> Why is that? Okay. A book that is. intellectual property. >> If I say that book is worth $3,000, that. book is worth $3,000. >> Period. End end of discussion. >> And like I don't care how much it took. to make it. I don't care how how much. time it took to take it. If I say that's. how much it is worth, that's how much.

it's worth. And it's the same with my. paintings. And it's the same with any of. the things that I do outside of music. because music I'm in this confine of of. a a world that's not changing and hasn't. changed. And it's like. >> that's just a crazy thing to me that. there's a set price on greatness in that. world. But a painting, you know, a Bos. painting is selling for $200 million. >> Yeah. >> And. I mean, you know, >> I've never looked at it that way. That's. amazing. >> It's like that. That's why I love those.

types of intellectual property. I think. they're so important. >> Yeah. >> You're not putting your worth compared. comparatively like stuck in a world like. you could literally tell I you could say. I'm making one book and I'm selling it. for $100,000 and you'll find someone to. buy that book. >> Oh, for sure. All you need to do is sell. one at that price. >> You know what I'm saying? You made your. money back. >> That's what I'm saying. >> Yeah. No, that's wild. I've never. thought [clears throat] of it that way. Your mind is brilliant. It really is. And I feel like, dude, you need your own.

podcast. >> Mod, it's coming. >> Oh my god. Yes. Do it. I love that. I'll. listen to it and I'll support it 100%. >> Please do. Please do. >> Yeah. You need one because this. generation needs to hear what you have. to say because you are you have so much. depth and so many people I do a lot of. interviews. So many people do not have. depth and you really need to have a. microphone in front of you. That might. be your calling. And. >> thank you. >> This podcast has been so therapeutic for. me. I know if you had a podcast. Oh my. god. >> I mean, I hear it with you. I hear you.

uh allowing people to like find. themselves when I when I listen to your. episodes. And then I also hear you. stumble upon things that you're figuring. about out about yourself when you're. talking to someone asking and you ask. the question. >> and you're like, "Oh, >> yeah. I love it." Like you I needed you. today. Like I am I can totally admit. that. I needed you today. Mimi's shaking. her head. Yes. Because. >> I had [laughter]. >> No, I needed you today. Like this was. such a blessing because I just had the. worst day yesterday and I was just like.

really questioning a lot of things and. then you just came in here and the. things that you have said have just like. sparked my flame again and I needed. that. So thank you for that. >> Thank you for your time. >> That makes me so happy. [laughter]. >> Oh. >> yeah. Hard call back. Hit me. Hit me. >> That's why she's the manager back into. the story. >> Watch this. So, [laughter] so years go. by and my So, I got one of the things. that changed my life that I this is. awesome to mention is that after um.

uh a year and a half of being Modson and. make and releasing music as Modson Sun, my brand of like rap and and this I got. chosen by Rolling Stone magazine to be. one of 15 people put in a contest to be. the first unsigned artist put on the. cover of Rolling Stone, right? And it. was just like this thing that I WAS. LIKE, THE LAW OF ATTRACTION IS REAL. LIKE, are you hearing me yet? Like, it's. real. All my songs are about the law of. attraction. And I'm about I'm in five.

issues of Rolling Stone right now. >> Yeah. >> This is nuts. >> And so, while that's going on, >> here comes the guitar player that kicked. me out from the other band. and he was. in a band that was signed and they break. up and he sends me a picture of him. having my logo MS like this tattooed on. his wrist and he goes, "So proud of you, bro. So proud of you, bro." And I was. like, "I have missed you so goddamn. much. >> I have missed you so much." I was like,

"Come be my guitar player.". >> You are so. >> I'm going out to New York to do this. competition for Rolling Stone and be on. camera for a week. Come be my DJ and. guitar player, bro. I have missed you so. much. Boom. He's there. We go on for. years together to tour the world. together and he's guitar and singing and. he's been featured on some of my songs. His name's Pat Brown. Love him to death. The what I do and my life and being an. artist was not made for him. So now he's. um he's a tour manager now and he tour.

manages uh Tiestto and like he's po he's. popping. He's legit. He did his thing. >> Brought him back around. >> We had an amazing run. Traveled the. world together. still talk to this day. The other guy that kicked me out, he was. my DJ before [laughter] he became my DJ. uh uh after after he kind of left. around. No, no, no. It was before he was. my uh first DJ before my friend Pat came. around and then he decided to go to art. school and went to art school for a. while and then was like, "Man, this.

school's not for me." I was like, he. came to my going away party to move to. California. I hadn't talked to him for. like two years. came to my going away. party that my sister threw me a surprise. party. She invited him. He came. We. hadn't talked in a while. He's like, "Man, I'm going through this rough. relationship. I just broke up. Like, I'm. I want to quit school. I don't know what. to do." I was like, "I'm moving to. California tomorrow. I got an extra. bedroom there. I have missed you." I was. like, [laughter] "If you if you want to. pack your [ __ ] up, come live with me,

bro. Just let's work together. you make. art and you can do all my covers and. shoot some videos and DJ, play guitar, whatever you want to do, you know, and. brought him back around and now he's. still out here. He's gone on to be a. huge person graphic designer for Girl. Skateboards and now he has his own um. creative uh agency and stuff and so, you. know, I'm super proud of both of them, but you broke my damn heart and I never. held it against you. >> Yeah, he's a Pisces. He definitely held. it against you. No kidding. [laughter]. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You sure you.

want to be in this same town as me? >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> I love that. And then lastly, I know. I've had you forever, but we have to. talk about you're going to be dropping. an album. >> Yeah. Yeah. We're going to be dropping. an album. My first my first song from. this new run of things. I have left the. internet for the last 6 months. I. haven't dropped anything in in uh almost. a year. And I'm coming back with my song. that I've been I've worked so hard on. this new music, but also just came into. it so pure. Like I said, like I went.

back to Minnesota. I was like, I'm not. going to make music for three years. And. if I want to after that, cool, I will. I. came in with so much pure intention to. make music and I stumbled upon making. what I like believe is like could be the. song that. >> everyone knows me for for the rest of my. life, you know. And um. >> Kel's helped write on it with me. my my. one of my newest additions to my best. friend is this guy named No Love who is. I think one of the most talented people. around. Um it's just this tight-knit.

group that we have. And yes, I'm. releasing a song. It's going to be out. on June 7th. So depending on when this. comes out. It's either out right now or. it's about to come out. And um from. there, I'm going to just continue. releasing over the summer and then I'm. going to go on uh a tour. Most likely. this will be out when this gets. announced too as well at the uh end of. September. And. >> yay, we'll be on tour, too. So, I I get. my own tour bus whenever I go on tour. with Daddy. And so, hopefully our paths. will cross. And you guys like we can. either go to one of your shows or you.

come to ours or both or whatever. Yeah, we'll have to link schedules. That'll be. fun. >> And I I'm just I've never been more. fulfilled with the music I make. And and. this the simpler fact is that like I you. know I was drummer growing up and I. always wanted to play guitar and get. good at guitar and I've kept 12 guitars. around me at all times throughout my. whole life and just never clicked for me. and um within the last 6 months due to. my really great friend no love who's. incredible guitar player uh it's clicked.

for me. It's totally clicked. And I've. been writing all my songs just me and a. guitar. And whether they get like a. little production on top of that, it's. all very purposeful production, but a. lot of it, my favorite song that I've. ever wrote that I've been trying to. write since I was 13 years old, it's. called Morning Breaks. It's going to. come out this summer. It's just my my. voice and a guitar at the same time. Recorded playing it. And it is the song. I've been trying to write my entire. life. And my friends that mean the world. to me are like, >> I cried to this, you know? I cried to.

this song. And I'm just like, bingo. I'm. I'm fulfilled. I'm just so fulfilled. musically. My expectations are start and. end right there. Am I fulfilled? Absolutely good. >> Let it out into the world. Whatever. these things do, grow up on your own and. and have a great time out there songs. But you have fulfilled me and I'm so. proud of that. And I have nothing but. happiness to to share it with the world. And that's all I want to do is share it. Grow your own legs. Go live your life. I.

hope you become the biggest godamn songs. that I've ever created. But either way, you have made me so happy. >> A say they will. They will. >> They will. I know. I believe [laughter]. they will. But I'm also like, you're a. child that hasn't been born yet. So I'm. not telling you you have to be a goddamn. superstar. But I expect you to be a. superstar. [laughter]. >> Get the up and let's get to work, baby. I love it. I'm excited to hear it. I My. favorite music is stripped down music. like that. Like acoust acoustic with. where you can just feel it, you know, like Yeah. You're send it to me. I want.

to hear it. Give me a sneak peek so we. can listen to it on the way home. >> I will. I will. >> Ma, [snorts] thank you for coming here. today. >> Thank you. This is great. And I needed. you. But also also vice versa, I needed. you. Like it it's I I think um you know. I tell some of my close friends too, like when they're go when they're going. through something, I'm like, "Well, you. know what? Go outside and be social. go. into a social study and you might be. like, "Man, I don't feel like being. around people tonight." Go out, you'll. be reminded how much people love you. >> Yeah. >> And like that is so crucial to getting.

through a tough time. Like rem remind. yourself how loved you are, >> you know? Just like it's okay to do. these little like hacks in life. It's. not all this like be present, be in the. moment, make sure that you're focused on. the right. It's like no, allow other. people to make you happy as well. And. like don't be so goddamn hard on. yourself. Be gentle. Go out, remind. yourself. It could be one person that's. like, "Damn, I miss seeing you." And. you're like, [gasps and sighs]. >> "I needed that." Yeah. You're just like,

I needed that. >> Thank God I am great. >> Yeah. >> You know, >> I love that. What are you guys doing. over. >> crying cry [laughter] so hard? >> I'm watching her looking at her over. here. Everybody's crying. >> Y'all my new best friends, [laughter]. man. >> God, you guys. Mod, I love you. And I. want you to come back to the podcast as. many times as you want if you. >> I would love to. >> come and co-host with me one day or. something maybe. >> I would love to. >> That would be so fun. >> Real talk. I would love to. >> All right. I love you and thank you.

>> Thank you so much for having me on. This. has been. the dumb blood. [laughter]. Why don't you tell people where they can. find you just in case they don't know. where you're at? >> M O D S U N on everything. Modson Sun. and um you know would love to meet you. all out there. Anyone out there, but see. >> great great talks really happen. Great. connections really happen. Friends are. still alive and well and it's never too. late to make a new friend. >> A love you so much. Thank you. Thank you. guys for tuning in to another episode of.

Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next. week. Bye.