MEN Please Stop Doing This! | Ask, Tell, Confess

Ask till confess. Ask tell [music] confess. to confess. >> Ask to [music] confess. [singing]. >> Hello friends. Welcome back to another. >> Ask. >> tell. confess. >> How's everybody doing, man? It has.

it has been a week. [laughter]. >> What the [ __ ] did you just do? >> It has been a [ __ ] week, dude. Holy. [ __ ] balls. And it is done. Fina. >> over. The week is over. >> Week is over. [laughter]. >> Mimi's over there holding her [ __ ]. titties. Mimi's got some new titties. I. haven't even revealed my titties yet. >> I think you should show everybody yours. >> Yeah, >> they look so good. >> Yeah. Come on. They look like Franken.

>> No, they don't. Yours looks so good. >> Yeah. No, I I'll reveal them next time. [laughter]. >> Matt Matthews is in the studio right. now. Do we have a microphone for him in. case he wants to give any adlibs? Just. give him a microphone to adib. >> Um, so let's get down to it. Um, what. was the topic today for ask? >> We want to know everyone's family. secrets, bro. >> Yeah. Worst or Yeah. Craziest family. secret that was dropped at at a holiday.

>> Yeah. No, I just got. >> Oh, mine wasn't dropped at as a holiday. It was just. >> Yeah, [laughter] just family secrets. >> Damn. I added the holiday on there, so. maybe I shouldn't have done that. >> Oh, well, did you get some good ones? >> I think a little spiciness. >> All right, who wants to go first? >> You go ahead. >> Oh, okay. [laughter] Um, so this person. said, uh, in my grandma's small town in. Arkansas, a lady found out her husband. was cheating on her, but he did not know. that she knew. So one night she decided. to dress sexy and cook dinner to get him. going to then lead him to the bedroom.

for what he thought was a good time. She. blindfolded him and took him to the bed. to handcuff him and tie him up, then. proceeded to start to get to get it on. as nothing was wrong and proceeded to. put a curling iron up his ass. She. plugged it in and turned it all the way. up and then walked out and left him. alone. He was so badly burnt by the time. someone found him that he had to have. reconstruction surgery on his ass and. insides. He's still alive and she served.

her time. Not saying people deserve. pain, but damn, she was creative. >> I heard about a pimp in Vegas doing that. to somebody. That's crazy. [laughter]. >> What the hell did you just say? >> That's crazy. You have to be next level. insane to be able to physically hurt. somebody like that. I mean, a a [ __ ]. curling iron up the ass. That's why they. have the tag on it that says for. external use only. >> Oh. >> Oh, you think it's not supposed to be in. your [ __ ]. >> That's crazy. >> No, that's that's also like did he not.

complain that you were putting up there. in the first place? >> Well, his hands were tied so she might. she might [laughter] like this. [ __ ]. >> I don't know. Like what if he liked that. and then he didn't know it was. >> I mean as soon as it's hot going in. Oh, she turned it on. inside of him. >> Maybe they were just freaky. I don't. know. That was crazy. >> I feel like I feel like handcuffing was. the reason it even got up there. >> Ah, that makes sense. >> I feel like you got to be one weird. [ __ ] to [ __ ] want to harm somebody.

that bad. Like I've had men cheat on me. before and I've never in my life wanted. to. >> I wouldn't have thought about leave them. with a curling iron just [ __ ] burning. their rectum. Like that's crazy. >> The fact that she left him though. [laughter]. >> The fact that she turned it on and left. >> Do you think it sizzled? >> Yeah. All his little you know how the. butthole's moist. >> His cubes are probably. >> it just probably like melted onto it. And how do they. >> like you know when you like cook the. pieces of like beef on the. >> rock salami? Yeah. On the rock. I know.

exactly what you're talking on the rock. the whole time. [laughter]. [gasps]. >> I wonder what his butthole looks like. now. Probably like a piece of like. cooked tuna, right? You know like how. tuna goes from being red to like white? >> It's definitely It's definitely super. dark. >> Or like when girls bleach their butthole. too much, it starts to look like a piece. of chicken. What? That I don't know. Didn't know about that. >> That's very interesting. >> Yeah. Like when girls give that one a. goo. >> When girls bleach their butthole, it. looks like a piece of like boiled. chicken after a while. Like cuz they're. doing it so much. >> Like shredded chicken or. >> Yeah, possibly. Yep. Yep. Yep. Even like.

that. Yeah. That texture. >> Do I? >> Oh, hell no. >> Oh, you got a a a ground round. [laughter]. Stop. I can't laugh. Oh my god. >> My [ __ ] ain't brown. My is pink. Is it. pink? I bet it is cuz you're a little. fire crotch underneath there. >> No, I'm not. [laughter]. >> I'M NOT A GINGER, [ __ ] And how many. more times I got to tell you this? >> I'm always [laughter]. She be calling him a ginger every chance. she gets. So funny. >> Every chance that.

>> I can see it. That little strawberry. >> He does. You have a little bit of red in. your You got a lot of like. [laughter]. >> She's great. She's good. She's nice. >> She's purring again. All right, go. ahead. Wait, I saw this funny ass Tik. Tok the other day and the girl was. talking about how she got like. reconstructive surgery and they pulled. her so tight upwards that now she pees. out straight. >> No. >> Yes. She said she has to like lean down. into the toilet because they pulled her. so tight that her vagina now just pees. out like [snorts].

>> damn. Where the hell did she go? That's. I don't know. >> That's a lawsuit. That's [ __ ] up. >> Imagine that though. The first time you. go to pee. >> How does she have sex? Straight not. down. Does he got to like maybe angle. her? She's like she's like making out. [laughter]. >> He's like making out with his chest when. he's on top. He has to like he has to. like just scooch scooch on up in here. [laughter]. >> Scooches in there. >> Yeah, just let me scooch on up in here. Damn, dude. I feel bad for not making. fun of you, sister. I [ __ ] hate that. Yeah, that's crazy. I'm never getting.

surgery done on my [ __ ] [ __ ] like. that. That's. >> This one says that um my 80-year-old. grandma is convinced that she's talking. to Elon Musk. She's given this person $15,000. and has forced my grandpa to move out. Oh. >> And even sent several naked pictures to. this man. >> How old is she? >> She's 80. >> Damn. >> When Elon hacked into her iCloud with. information that she gave him, he sent. her naked pictures out to everyone in. Grandpa's contact list. Family, his.

friends, everyone. He also hacked her. bank account with information that she. gave him. Began running money in and out. of her account. She is now banned from. having her bank account. Just recently, the cops had to escort her home after. walking around a local grocery store for. four hours, waiting for Elon to come. pick her up. We had her tested for. dementia and Alzheimer's, and it came. back completely clean. She's just. batshit crazy. >> Damn. >> Just renewed her driver's license, too. >> 100%. [laughter]. [ __ ] Yeah. Poor grandma. It's crazy. Well, we're she shouldn't be [ __ ].

talking to strangers on the internet. And given I don't understand that, you. know, like there's a lot of people who. get who get scammed because of us. >> You know what? The bunnies jumping on. the trampoline got me. So, I might be. that when I'm older. >> She falls for AI all the time, bro. It's. wild as [ __ ]. >> You re You reposted that one. The. bunnies jumping on the tra. You remember. that one? >> I don't remember. I repost a lot of. [ __ ] My Don't You guys don't look at my. reposts. That's where I live. >> Don't look at mine. I do look at mine. I. repost more than I post. So, for repost.

where I live in my repost. >> My mom used to work in banking for like. her whole life. And the amount of people. who would get scammed is insane. They'd. be coming in and they're like, "Why is. my whole bank account drained?" And she. would go down the wormhole and they're. like, "Well, did you talk to someone on. the phone for 20 minutes and give them. your bank your routing number?". >> I did. Yeah. They said they were going. to that they were going to rob for me. Yeah. >> Yeah. No, it happens so much. I can't. >> All right. This one's a little long, but. here we go. Um, hooked up with this guy.

I've had a crush on since high school. So, well over 13 years. Great sex. I'm. talking porn star status. Amazing night. 5 hours of fun, bro. 5 hours of fun. >> 5 hours. Tag me out, >> dude. That's too long. >> No, not even all teflon [ __ ]. >> The raw at that point. That [laughter]. teflon puss is wild. Oh, and then it. just swells up like a baseball glove and. you can't get anything in there the next. day. >> It just gets all swollen. >> Terrible. >> Hate when that happens, huh?

>> I love it. [laughter] Anyways, couldn't. have been more stoked. He leaves in the. morning and looking back at the bed. after taking my shower, what do I see? Skids, baby. Skids. Not just a little. boop like Skids. Hours and hours. I'm so. OCD. I said to myself, "Oh my [ __ ]. god, you're kidding me. What's the. odds?" bleached it all. He comes over a. few days later and we Okay, if you're finding [ __ ] big old skin.

marks, you're going to [ __ ] circle. back. Was the sex that good? >> Okay, BUNNY. [laughter]. >> [ __ ] I know you're [ __ ] lying. [laughter]. >> Oh my god. Anyways, bleached it all. Well, he comes over a few days later and. we get to business again and I'm. thinking maybe it was a one-off. Hopefully, nope. Skid marks on the white. [ __ ] sheets again on the newly Clorox. everything. Marking his damn to damn.

territory without permission. Genuinely. don't know if he even noticed, but damn, dude. I'm about to tell this dude he's. just got to do better. How do I say it. nicely? >> You don't cut him the [ __ ] off. That's. what I did. [ __ ] dookie butt. He's. not wiping. He's He's Apparently he's. not wiping. >> Or maybe he's pushing too hard and he. has a loose butthole. He might like it. in the ass though. And that [ __ ] gets a. little too loose and he's just spraying. the sheets. >> He's not wiping. >> He's not wiping. >> That's all that boils down to. Dude is.

like not wiping. >> Okay. But also, how do we get to the. point where you're just scooting your. ass across the sheets? What's happening? >> Well, there was this one time. Oh, >> I mean I [laughter and gasps]. >> you guys remember [ __ ] the client. that I had that I made like hella money. off of that one night and we were doing. hella drugs and cocaine and I'm telling. you every time he would scooch forward. to do a line he would literally leave a. skid mark. So we called him [laughter]. his nickname was [ __ ] because it just.

he lit by the time we left those white. hotel sheets were literally just had. brown streaks all in them. Dude, it was. He paid us a lot of money, okay? So, that's why we stayed. But. >> I'm upset. [clears throat] I don't like. that. >> Listen, guys. You got to You have to. wash your asses. Please. >> Please. How many have you ever left [ __ ]. straight? >> Baby wipes? >> No. >> I am so like scared about that kind of. thing. >> And I think [laughter] Yeah. Well, I. think I was also when I was a kid. probably shamed for it a little bit. You. know,

>> you had Did you leave skin marks? >> Yeah. Well, you know, when you have the. the tidy whies, it's just bound to. happen. And I think someone called it. out when I was, you know, no, >> you got trauma. >> Yeah. So I'm like, I'll freaking jump in. the shower if I have to. >> I mean, but it's it's I think every man. every man should carry around dude wipes. or baby wipes. >> 100%. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. There's no It's 2026. There's no. excuse for you to have a [ __ ] dirty. [ __ ]. >> No. >> Period. >> Spray it down. >> Never had a Skittles.

>> in my life. Have you ever farted a wet. fart? >> Yeah. >> And did you did it go in your pants? >> No. >> Oh, >> no. I've [ __ ] on myself once. [laughter]. >> But I've never like had a like [ __ ]. on yourself and a skid mark is not the. same type. >> I haven't [ __ ] myself yet, guys. >> I haven't either. >> You've never [ __ ] yourself? >> No, I know. >> I wish I could be a part of that club. [laughter]. >> I [ __ ] myself last week. >> Yeah, you did [ __ ] And then she go She. goes, "You guys want to see it?" We all.

said no. [laughter]. No the [ __ ] we don't show us every other. >> she would show us. She's shown us photos. of it in the toilet. >> Yeah. >> Hey, that one was very impressive. though. >> The LA one. >> I It's burned in my brain. >> I haven't had one like that since this. one goes. It's a nice color. >> Yeah, [laughter]. >> I know. One like that since. I don't. know what got into me out there. It must. have been the LA food. But. >> that was. >> We're going to LA next week, too, guys. >> Can't wait. >> Feel like we haven't been in so long. If. you see me running down the street.

streaking, no you didn't. I'm about to. >> turn the [ __ ] up in LA, guys. So, just. so everybody is aware, that's where I'm turning the [ __ ] up at. >> I can't wait, guys. >> It's going to be so fun. >> Cut that out. >> We'll do it all. >> Do we cut that out? Yeah. >> Cut that out. But. >> that's our spot. >> Let's go. Please. >> We don't need TMZ showing up there. >> [ __ ] no. >> Shout out though to Harvey Leven because. >> he really had your back. I [ __ ] love. that man, dude. I can't wait to give him. a hug when I meet him. Like, he always.

has my back in everything. >> They did a live the other day. >> Oh, wait. On the live on the live, bro. Like, he dead ass had Bunny's back so. hard in that entire conversation. Go. him. >> No, he's awesome, dude. They've You. know, honestly, Tamzy's always been nice. to me, so I'm I'd like to keep it that. way. >> Yeah, they're our friends. >> Yeah, [laughter]. >> we thank Can you do that? It was my aunt. uncle's wedding day. My stepg great. grandmother's boyfriend at the time, mind you, they're in their late 70s and.

I was 17. He had gotten way too drunk. and I walk into the cocktail party and. this sick [ __ ] pulls me in for a hug and. then attempts to shove his tongue in my. mouth. I had my lips sealed shut and he. for a good 10 seconds just tries. wiggling that tongue in my mouth. >> Excuse me. >> I completely blacked out. did not know. how to react and if I could go back I'd. slap the [ __ ] out of him. >> Why didn't you? I'd have [ __ ] Bam. >> Oh, bro. I would have. >> The family knows though that that. happened. >> I would have [ __ ] up. >> Why would she not tell the family?

>> The theme is family secrets. >> I know, but if somebody's trying to. [ __ ] stick their tongue down, like. you need to tell the family. And well, he was dating grandma. [clears throat]. >> She might have been scared. I don't. know. She was 17. >> Oh my god, that's terrible. That'd be. old man. Old man breath smells like. dentures. Ew. Yeah. Like geratl and. [ __ ] gum disease. >> Yep. >> Yeah. >> Um Yeah, man. If somebody's trying to. [ __ ] give me a [ __ ] denture kiss,

I'm not you're getting punched in your. elbow. >> Is wild. >> Yeah. >> Fighting. >> No, that's crazy. >> I think so. This one says, "My cousin's husband. found out at Thanksgiving that she took. our other cousin secretly to prom. because neither had a date and no one. knew they were related. They did the. deed at an afterparty, claiming they had. to prove that it wasn't a pity date.". Cousin's brother was the one who told he. only knew cuz he snuck into that party.

Only knew because he snuck into that. party. I'm on my pain pills right now. and I feel like they just kicked in two. seconds [laughter]. when you stutter in front of your. friend. >> Maybe said everything just slowed down. >> Wow. So, get up and leave. >> It all just came right now. Um, needless. to say, they're no longer together and. we don't see that part of the family any. longer. >> I You know how many amount of cousins. [ __ ] each other? >> Oh, that was my all my DMs. >> It's crazy. >> A lot of incest. >> Matt, you're from Alabama. Have you ever.

[ __ ] [laughter] a cousin? >> [ __ ]. [laughter] I know you're [ __ ] a lot. >> I've never [ __ ] a cousin that I know. of. >> No. Why are we [ __ ] so many cousins? >> I don't know, man. >> I did get a lot of DMs that said like. either they married a cousin. >> Mine were all inbred. >> Yeah, a lot of it inbred. >> Are cousins are all cousins related or. only like. >> first is not related cuz my mom's. adopted. >> Yeah. >> So, would you [ __ ] a cousin?

>> No. >> Would you [ __ ] a stepbrother? >> No. No, >> maybe. >> I mean, [laughter]. >> I saw. I have watched those like short drama. reals on Tik Tok and some of them are. hot step brothers. >> I mean, we're not blood. >> Not mine. [laughter]. >> But a stepbrother that's hot. >> He was super hot. >> Only if it was their relationship was. real fresh. >> Yeah. >> Not if our parents have been married for. like 10 years.

>> No, no, no. Like it's like as soon as we. meet. >> As soon as it happens. Sure. Yeah. >> I can't watch those porns. I can't watch. like the me the mom the the the other. >> Yeah, that's a little weird. >> Are you lying, Haley? Is that the [ __ ]. you watch? >> Yeah, me either. >> No, I do not. >> Is that the porn you watch? No, >> I thought you watched like 80s porn. Dude, she loves vintage porn. >> She loves '8s porn like Bush Flowers. Like the [ __ ] not even the I like. that. >> Hold on. The dream filter where.

everything's like. >> she does if it's like foggy like that's. on the [ __ ] illegal in Alabama. So. >> we just talked about this. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> [ __ ] up. >> I know. Then why are they making it hard. for everybody getting to just have a. little bit of pleasure in their life, you know? >> All right. One, two, three. So, uh, family birthday barbecue. Sister-in-law. slurs out after a few too many. Stop. correcting her. She isn't even your. daughter. To my brother in front of the. entire family. The daughter was 12. DNA.

test came back as my said and the test. proved you are not the father. >> That's how you find out. >> Damn. >> That's terrible to do that in front of. the kid, too. That's dysfunctional. >> That's messy as hell. There's a lot of. messiness in my DMs about this. It was a. Yeah, it was also it was either inbred. or finding out that. >> but no and there's like like a lot of. evil females and like ladies I'm. normally on your side but some of y'all. are [ __ ] crazy. >> I read one I didn't end up. screenshotting it but like she literally.

named it after her affair that she had. >> That too. >> Did you get that one? Yeah, she named. the baby after her affair and then. convinced the dad who was in prison that. it was his. >> Wow. Were they having conjugal visits? How did. >> No, he had just gone. She got pregnant. around that time. was like, "Oh, I'm. pregnant." But it could have been one or. the other. So, she names it after the. other. >> That's crazy. >> I know. And the kid ended up telling. him. >> [ __ ] be trifling. >> Yeah, they do. There's some really good. Okay, go ahead.

>> Little. >> pirate dirty pirate hookers running. around. >> So, here's a little backstory. My mom. passed away and my father remarried. twice after that. The second one was an. absolute awful woman. and she was a. liar, manipulative, and over the years, she successfully drove a wedge between. my father and all of his children. One. summer, um, we were all at our camp. hanging out. My father's wife wanted a. drink, so my brother-in-law offered to. make it for her. After he made it, he. reached in his pants and pulled out some. pubes, put it in her drink, and stirred.

it around with his finger. My siblings. and I were all aware of this, so we sat. and watched her drink down the whole. thing. Sweaty pube hairs and all. She. asked for another one after that, claiming that it was so good. To this. day, no one outside of our family knows. that that happened. >> Dude, I don't care who you are. You know. when you have a pube in your throat. >> How do you not feel? >> It's like it's it like sticks in your. throat. Like they don't go down. >> It's literally like just the curliest. cube. >> You get one caught in your teeth. >> Probably. I've had a lot of [ __ ] in my.

mouth. >> Yeah. No, I don't know how she didn't. [ __ ]. >> save your pubes. [laughter]. >> I do. Why is it caught in your teeth? I. just asked one time it got caught in my. teeth. >> That's wild. [laughter]. >> That's different. >> Yeah, you're married. You know, somebody. [ __ ] your schedule. I didn't know. that time. >> A random DJ. >> Not you guys scheduling blow. >> Kids, you can't just put it on whenever. >> What do you put it on Google calendar? Like, how does [laughter] that work?

>> That was my question. That was my. question. >> Just text each other tomorrow at 7:35. p.m. >> Yeah. Well, no. It's just whenever the. kids aren't, you know, hanging out. >> barging everywhere. You ready to have a. kid, Matt? >> [ __ ] [laughter]. >> I had a great uncle that took a guy's. eyeball out with a spoon because of a. bad horse deal. >> What the hell? [laughter]. >> The old spoon in the eye trick. >> What trick is that? [laughter]. >> What do What do you do with the old. cowboy trick? >> It's like an old cowboy about this.

trick, >> huh? >> You know about this trick? >> No, but I can envision it. I just. figured. >> that sounds like something that would. have been done like during the Doc Holl. >> Yeah, it's like a like bar type. Just. grab stick it in his eye and scoop it. out. You got to be a real weirdo to be. able to do that. >> And does it just hang there? >> I don't want. >> Depends on how much he se it. >> I don't know. >> Oh, I envisioned it. >> I thought they are like attached. >> They are. That's what I'm wondering. If.

he if he popped out the eyeball, did it. just hang. >> and then he might have just ripped it. off. [laughter]. [gasps]. >> That might be one of those old wives. tales that like gets passed down in. families, you know, and it's like really. he punched the guy in the eye, but then. by the time it got to the great great. granddaughter, it was like. >> it was like he carved his [ __ ] eye. out. [laughter] Yeah, exactly. >> That's wild. >> Hi. Hi, May. You got one? >> Sure. I got one right here. >> Give us one and then we're out of here. We got [ __ ] to do. I got to take Matt to.

go see the new compound. We got the. little the cows and the donkeys moved. this week. >> How are the donkeys? I didn't. >> Oh, they're so bougie. I walked out. there and they acted like they didn't. even know who I was. >> Yeah, they didn't give a [ __ ]. >> We're probably going to corral them a. little bit to get them off some of that. fresh hay. >> He said, "Sorry, we have new grass.". >> Yeah. >> They're like hella roomas. Like they did. not care. >> They're going to go out tomorrow and put. them in a smaller pin. >> Why? >> It's too much fresh grass for them. You. don't want them to found her. Yeah, >> it's all cut down, but still it's a lot. of grass.

>> Yeah. So, >> I know I would like I would be hella. drunk off that grass. >> That's what they are right now. >> They looked [snorts] good when I. >> me with espresso martinis. [laughter]. >> It's like a field of espresso martinis. would be her dream. Go ahead, Hime. >> All right. My seemingly healthy 40some. yearear-old cousin died in November. It. was a shock to the whole family. He was. living in Las Vegas with his girlfriend. at the time and she claimed she had no. idea how he died and told our family to. stop asking because it doesn't matter.

how he died. Immediate red flag. >> Why wouldn't his family want to know the. cause of his sudden unexpected death? We're thinking this [ __ ] murdered him. We're literally accusing her of murder. Finally, my cousin, his brother, is able. to get a report from the coroner's. office. He died jacking off. Bro had an. autoerotic. asix. >> autoerotic expiation.

>> Damn. I didn't even say half the word. and you knew. Okay. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> All right. Only. >> Oh my god. >> Only me and my mom and his brother know. his real cause of death. Everyone else. thinks he overdosed per his brother's. request. >> Damn. >> Did you singer die like that? the lead. singer of NXS died. He was literally. hanging himself. >> in the closet and was jacking off while. >> to get hard, right? >> Yeah. Well, I mean, not to get hard, but. sometimes when you come it makes like,

you know, like when you get choked. >> Yeah. >> It's like so hot because it makes you. come harder because you're being choked. because you're like lack of air and so. that's people just get addicted to that. high and they cha they chase it. >> So, he was strangling himself and then. >> Yeah. I mean, we don't know what he was. doing. She could have been doing it too. Like we don't know. >> Maybe that's why. >> she doesn't want everyone to know. She. was choke child. >> Yeah, that's. >> that's a heavy secret. >> That is a heavy secret to have. >> Yeah. [clears throat]. >> Well, are we going to film another Ask. Talk Confest before we go to LA?

>> We'll have to beginning of next week. >> You guys leave comments below. Let us. know what topics you want us to cover in. next week's um Ask Talk Confest. And. we'll pick one from the YouTube comments. and if we use yours, we'll shout out. your username also. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Love you guys. See you next week. Bye.