Girl, You Left Him for THAT?! | Ask, Tell, Confess

Ask till confess. Ask tell [music] confess. to confess. >> I ask to [music] confess. [singing]. >> Would it be bad if I Uber eats just one. cucumber? >> Just one? >> Yeah. >> How big is it? >> She's going to Ralph. >> Probably. Okay.

for the sauce. >> There's so much sauce. >> There's a lot of sauce. I noticed that. it's getting a little soupy at the end. >> It needs I need another cube. Soak up. the sauce. I. >> feel like you should make it a really. thick one. >> Thick. >> What sauce are we talking about? >> Like make the slices thicker. >> A little bit thicker. >> What are you making? >> Oh, mix it up though. Do thin and thick. >> What are you making? >> Yeah. I can't do just straight thick. I. mean sometimes the thin ones like. cucumber salad. I've never had it yet.

>> It's crazy because you walked up to me. with it like. >> I've tried to force you to eat that. cucumber salad for the past couple. months. >> Something about people feeding me to. rumble. >> When people feed me, it's like I I get. weird. >> Okay. I won't feed you. I'll just leave. it on the counter. >> Yeah. It's got to be. >> It's like a cat, you know, when you. leave food out. You can't actually feed. cats treats. You can't such a cat. >> Cat's got to approach you. >> Gotcha. So, I just like leave it out. Oops. forget about it. Don't look at you. >> type of thing.

>> Or just make it look very enticing in. the fridge. Like a clear. >> like maybe a little setup around it like. candles. >> A clear tuppware would do it. >> Okay. We don't have clear tupperware. >> Like a glass one. >> Is it tupper or tubber? >> Tupper. >> Tupper. >> Tub tub. >> Tupperware. >> No. P not b. >> tuber. >> I get I get where you'd be confused. >> Tubber. >> Cuz it does look like a tub. >> Tupper. >> You know, >> I think it's the brand Tupperware. Tubby. >> Tupperware. >> Who owns Tupperware?

>> Who owns Tupperware? >> I don't know. >> What do you think their name is? >> Tub. >> Tom. >> Tom. >> Dick and Harry. [laughter]. >> We say Dick and Harry. >> Tom. Dick and Harry. >> Wait, the dick is Harry. >> Tom. Dick. >> Richard. Harry. >> Richard. >> Richard. >> I feel like a Richard would own. Tupperware. >> Richard. Yeah. No, Richard sells. Tupperware. >> He does. Does. That's a top salesman of. the. >> ladies only though. Like he goes door to. door. >> Yeah, he got a must.

>> Like Napoleon Dynamite. Uncle Rico. That. kind of. >> Uncle Rico. That's perfect. Perfect. >> Yeah. >> Yo, followed. They filed bankruptcy. Y'all. >> is it [clears throat] Richard? >> No, his name is Earl Tupper. >> Earl. Let me see. Chad Tupper. Let me see. I. love him, you guys. >> Oh my god. Wait. Look at that forehead. Look at that. Tupper, Earl Tupper. He owned it from. 1938 to 1958. And then Dart Industries.

took it over in 1958. >> Tupperware is not even that old. >> No, in 1938. >> 1938. years in the 1900s. >> I thought Tupperware was around like. [ __ ] old and dead. >> 1800s. >> Did [snorts] they have plastic back. then? >> I I don't know. But they did file. bankruptcy. >> I feel like it's a lot of glass. >> 2024. >> Yeah. I don't think they had plastic. back in the 1900s. >> They filed bankruptcy. >> in 2024. >> Damn. How do you [ __ ] go broke having. Tupperware? >> Tupperware. Everyone has.

>> Everyone has Tupperware. >> Yeah. I think that was a scam to get. more money, >> you know. Yeah. I feel like a lot of. companies file bankruptcy just so that. they clear their debt for the next. >> year. What is it? As long as you file a. chapter 13 and not a chapter 7, you're. okay. Or some [ __ ] like that. >> Chapter 13. >> Is that what it is? Or is it vice versa? I don't [ __ ] know. >> It's one of the You know, >> are we rolling? Yeah. >> All right. Hello, friends. Please glit. the old leave the Tupperware combo in. there. >> You guys just got to tune into a real. conversation that we actually have.

Yeah, >> genuine. Yeah, >> good. >> Uh, welcome back to another Ask. >> Hi. May you finish it off. You do it. >> Tell. Confess. >> That was good. >> I like how you leaned into it. Thank. you. >> I think you're going to have to do it. more. I had to open my diaphragm. [laughter]. >> Yeah, >> opening the diaphragm. >> Yeah, that's good. Good stuff. >> Shut up. >> How's everybody doing?

>> We're all [ __ ] tired, man. We went to. Disneyland yesterday. >> Walked 3500,000 million steps. >> Yes. >> Five. >> Yeah, it was crazy. >> So fun. >> I know. We started it hot with cookie. shots. >> I can't. >> I didn't get one. >> We were We were waiting for you guys. >> We were waiting for you guys. And. >> they were $20 a piece. >> Oh, I believe it. And let let me just. tell you, everything at freaking. Disneyland cost me arm and a freaking. leg. It's a luxury to be able to go to.

Disneyland. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> That's crazy. >> Mhm. >> How much money do you think they make in. a day? Just Disneyland. >> I feel like I looked this up one time. I. feel like it was like 1.2 million. >> Yeah, it's definitely a million. We. looked up how much ears are just a year. >> and like it's almost a hundred million. plus. >> Yeah. Yeah, just for the ears. >> in one churros alone. >> $6 a piece. >> God. >> God. We bought 20. >> We did. [laughter]. >> Churro was good though, huh? >> Hey, but guess what? Disney bought it.

>> Cranberry cream cheese. >> How was that? I didn't try it. >> Uh, it was fire. >> I couldn't do it. >> I couldn't. I was. >> He felt like it was like blasphemous to. his heritage to do that. >> Yeah. Cuz I'm Mexican. It's like you. don't. >> If I said told my mom, "Hey, I dipped my. chereo in like a cream cheese." She'd be. like, "Excuse me.". >> She'd beat you. >> Yeah. No, she'd throw it with a chunka. or a cha. >> She'd beat you with a chunka. >> Yeah. She'd throw it straight. Yeah. >> Just. >> Did you get hit with those a lot when. you were little?

>> Um, yeah. If I was within range, I was. catching a chunka. >> Yeah. >> How's it feel to get hit in the back of. a head with a chunka? >> It happens quick. You don't know what it. [laughter] You don't know what it is at. first and then you're like, "Oh, it's a. freaking shoe." And then my mom got. aimed, dude. She would be [laughter]. >> I've always wanted to do that. I'm going to do it. I'm going to do it. next time to my brother. >> Next time Dylan pisses me off, I'm I'm. popping off the chrome hearts [ __ ]. slipper and [ __ ] throw. No, I threw a phone at my brother. though. Like a It was a flip phone. >> That's white people at.

>> his [laughter]. throwing. It was heavy Samsung. >> We We aim to kill. That's what we do. That was crazy. Aim to hurt. >> That was Yeah. Before he had his helmet, though. That was after his helmet. So, >> all right guys, we without further ado, let's get into the the subject that has. been long awaited. >> I'm so excited [laughter] for this one. >> Okay, so I'm going to try to do this. correctly. I we the subject we picked. was um what was the pettiest thing? >> Yeah, like the funniest reason.

>> The funniest the pettiest reason why you. broke up with somebody. And some of you. [ __ ] are [ __ ] dude. >> Dude, I'm like really self-conscious. after this subject, >> bro. I'm little things. >> Yeah. No, it's so bad. I'm like, oh my. god, did I ever get broken up with these. things? >> If someone ghost me, it's like, what did. I do? >> No, but then it made it made me feel. like, God, I've been putting up with a. lot of [ __ ] in my relationship. Oh my. god, I could have left over somebody. breathing the wrong way just cuz he. breathed through his mouth. Somebody was. like he was a mouth breather. I was.

like, oh my god. In my mouth sometimes. though, >> remember? >> Mhm. >> Yeah. >> I feel like guys will be giving the ick. pretty often though to women. >> Yeah. Yes. Cuz I think I was sitting. >> chasing after something. >> I was sitting on the couch a certain way. and Brooke was like, "You can never sit. on the couch like that.". >> Oh, like when a dude crosses their legs. >> I feel like Yeah, [laughter]. >> there's a there's a certain someone in. this house that will smoke a cigarette. [laughter]. >> and get the legs crossed little dangly. And. >> excuse me like this. >> Never seen it.

>> Or like the bottoms of the feet. Like I. don't want to see the bottoms of your. feet. >> Yeah. Have you seen the dudes who like stem. with their toes so while they're sitting. there. >> or like we also knew someone that used. to put their feet behind and like their. feet, you know, their toes. talking about? >> I caught Seth holding on to the. [laughter] zero gravity chair out there. with just his big toes like it was a. cigarette. [laughter]. >> That's crazy. >> I'm going to need you to not do that. ever again. >> No. >> No. >> He looks like a little like a little.

girl. He's barefoot a lot. Yeah. >> Oh, he's always barefoot. He never has a. shirt or shoes on ever. >> No, I like hit 30 and I started thinking. about that kind of stuff. I'm like, I. can't sit. So, I I realized I can't lay. down on my stomach anymore and have my. feet touching. >> What? >> Lay down on your stomach like up in the. air. Yeah. >> Oh, like the little dangling little I. can't like I can't like Yeah. I can't. swing my legs and have my stomach. touching at the same. >> My favorite thing to do is getting in. like before you get into bed [laughter]. and you. >> Who does that?

>> WHAT? YOU DO THAT LITTLE CRICKET. I HAVE. TO WIPE MY FEET off like a little. cricket. You might have crumbs on your. feet and get into your bed. >> That's why you don't walk around. barefoot. >> Wait, how why do you have shoes on and. you'll never have shoes on your feet? You might have a little If there's even. one spec I'm not even joking, you guys. If it's like I can feel it in the bed, I'm going to freak out. >> Walk around. I literally have [ __ ]. slippers on every day and even in my own. house and we have a clean house, dude. So, like, >> no. You So, you're telling me you walk.

around barefoot and then throw socks on? >> No. Absolutely not. You have to clean. your feet. >> No, no, no, no. >> Okay, that's what I'm So, I'm just. saying how did the crumbs get there in. the first place? Cuz I. >> on the floor I hit showers. >> She's got kids. >> Yeah. >> Cash walks by with a [ __ ] moon pie. >> Who gave him a moon pie? >> Auntie. [laughter]. >> The moon pie. >> The mullet in a moon pie is wild. Auntie. doesn't say no. I have come to find that. out this trip. >> She goes, "You can blow the bubbles in. the house." And we're like, "No. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. No, don't do that.

>> I was like, can't do that. All right, let's get into it. Who wants to kick. this off? >> I want to just get into it. >> So many go. >> This one says, Shy had nine toes. I. needed 10. Anything else is a bonus. >> That is [ __ ] horrific. She already. had nine toes. Where did the other one. go? >> Yeah, I would like I needed more. >> That little piggy went to the market. Did it go to. >> It didn't come back [laughter] to the. market. Did it go to. >> that little piggy? Straight went to the. market. >> Damn. I feel bad for her. Poor baby. I. wonder if her balance was off. And which.

toe was it? >> Oh, should we ask. >> if you could lose a toe? Which one could. you? [snorts]. >> The pinky. >> Yeah, >> it has to. No, I don't know. I feel like. one of the others needs to be the one. that goes cuz like isn't the inside and. the outside what keeps you grounded? >> No, the outside. >> I feel like it's less noticeable. >> And like looking at like shoes right. now, my pinky toe is basically covered, you know? >> I feel like the one next to the pinky. could go. >> Yeah. Yeah, that could go that bad. >> I want all of them. >> But if you have to lose one. >> Yeah, it's the ring finger. >> The ring finger toe.

>> I don't think I could do it. >> Oh, fingers. >> No, >> no, like ring toe finger is what I. called it. >> Yeah, cuz then you could sew closer. together like and it would. >> squish them a little like loosen the. tooth. You could shove them forward a. little bit. >> Mhm. >> Or like when people have the webbed. where it's like stuck. Have you seen. that? [clears throat]. >> Yeah. >> Would you ever Yeah. Webbed toes. It's. like. >> Dude, Dylan says I have webbed toes. Do. I? >> No, >> I don't think so either. >> No, for free. Blur that. >> Yeah, blur my toes out. But do I have. web toes? >> Close. >> Okay, that's what I thought. He's like, you have cute the cutest little feet.

You have web toes. I'm like, no, I. don't. >> Has he never seen a web toe? >> I don't know. I've never seen one. either. >> Oh, you've never seen one. >> All right, let me read one of mine. >> Like a frog. >> They tattoo like a little cutting mark. >> This [ __ ] [ __ ] is funny. Okay, but. listen. She said, "I lost interest in. someone when he was funnier than I am.". We can't be having that. I'm used to. being the coolest, funniest person in. the in their lives ever. Did I write. that in? >> That's literally Haley.

>> Yeah. [laughter] No. No. Piss me off. >> Piss me off. >> You cannot be funnier. >> I also can't do it if they're not funny. >> Yeah. >> If you have no sense of humor and not. funny at all and I'm funnier than you. >> Mhm. >> It's got to be a. >> It's got to be a little competition. >> They got to see you're funny. >> Yeah. or they got to like play off your. funny. >> But I think I've realized most like I'm. funny and the men are just there. >> So it's like maybe they're not that. funny is me. >> Dude, Dylan and I [ __ ] laugh so hard. all day long. >> and it's cuz we're both funnyers. Bro,

>> I almost pissed my pants at Disney. >> So I have a dog. >> I have a clip of it, you guys. Did. anyone else watch this video? >> Yes. >> Hold on. >> Did you add it to [laughter] Did you add. it to the shared? >> I added it to the shared. this video. right here. Insert clip. Insert this. freaking clip because [laughter] there. is a moment in which I'm following. behind them and this dude [laughter]. turns around. >> Why is it I don't I still don't know the. whole time. >> So stupid.

>> He does it again. [laughter]. >> They have probably thought he was a. character at the freaking park. >> He's But if you guys knew what we were. talking about, I have to give you. context. [laughter]. We're literally walking and we're. listening to music and he's like, "What. do you think we'd be like if we were in. the in the roaring 20s?" And I was like, "Well, first of all, we'd have to. [ __ ] take a dance class cuz we both. suck. We'd need to learn how to dance.". And he's like, "Man, I'd be on there. just playing the cello." [laughter].

>> He's like, "And you'd be on the harp.". [laughter]. >> It was No, it was just And the way. he's so animated. >> He's so [laughter] animated with it. It's crazy. >> He's like a [clears throat] cartoon. character. >> Yeah. dead ass. He is cartoon character. >> So, I think when there's two funny. people in the relationship, I mean, how. can you go wrong? >> Yeah. Well, it's the same kind. It's. like playing off of each other's funny. is so important. >> I would want a funnier dude than me. I. would want somebody who like would just. pull the funniness out of me. >> This one can't handle it. [clears throat].

>> Yeah. I don't know. I think I think your. >> your that gives you a little run for. your money cuz you guys both have the. same aesthetic. >> You guys think he's funnier than me? You. guys both have Yeah. He's He's a male. version of you. >> He is. >> Yeah. >> Damn. [clears throat]. >> Wow. >> Yeah. >> How do you feel about that? >> And I think that's why you like him. because you guys can go tit for tat, you. know. >> Yeah, we do. >> Yeah. >> All right. Next. Who's got another one?

>> Oh, I got a great one. >> Oh, I Mine are only going to get better. from here on out. >> He sent me a live photo and it he farted. in it. It [laughter] was I don't know. And it was it was a member of Hollywood. Undead. [laughter]. >> What? >> I have to know which member, dude. >> I want to send this to one of the guys. and be like, which one was it? Who was. it? Was it you? >> Yeah. Literally said loud and wet. >> Ew. In a live photo. That's why I can. never take a live photo. >> Like, how are you hot when you're. pressing something out like that?

Anyways, >> why are you taking a photo while you're. farting though? >> Yeah, that's what I'm saying. >> Do it and then take the photo. Well, how. can you be sexy and mog when you're. farting? Like, I don't understand that. >> I don't know. >> That's crazy. >> Hold on. He farted in a light. That's a. quick fart, first of all. [laughter]. >> Quick fart. >> Pinched out in a live. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Yeah. >> God, I would I would probably go. >> And I also learned that you can hear. stuff in a live. >> Yeah. Since when could you hear the. live?

>> Yeah. When. >> you can't even turn up the volume. >> There's a time and place. Oh, you all. you have to do is just [ __ ] me down. You've been farting in your lives. >> Okay. Okay. My photos on. >> But also, I've always thought this. >> I feel like cameras always are watching. and recording because how did you know. the couple seconds before I was going to. hit the button? >> It's too deep for me to think about. right now. >> What button? >> The button to take the photo. It records.

like the first 3 seconds. That means. it's always recording. Cuz how did you. know when I was going to. >> I thought it was the after. >> I thought it was at 3 seconds after you. hit the button. That would make more. sense. >> No, it's before cuz it has you like. getting into place and then taking it. >> No, it doesn't. >> Yeah. >> I've always seen it like after like the. camera. >> I've seen before. >> Okay. >> Yeah. So, think about where you got one. >> I have one. >> Let's go. >> No, like myself. >> Yeah. Uh, I think I was like in high.

school maybe, but I went out with this. girl and I think she on a date. She. first definitely first date she. facetimed her friend like in the middle. of the date and then I was like that's. it. >> Why? What was she what did she say? >> That was the thing. I thought it was. like an emergency like oh there's. something going on. But no, they were. just like, "Hey, how was your day? How. was like English class or whatever?". >> Oh, so she doesn't know how to read a. room. >> Yeah. No, I mean Yeah. I mean Yeah. So, and then uh I think I drove her home. right after that. >> Well, because it makes you feel Yeah, it.

makes you feel like they're not. interested in what you're having to say. >> And it was cool. I was like, I'm not. going to waste my time, though. I'm I'm. an efficient guy. I like. >> Did she ever text you back? And. >> I don't No, no, I don't think so. Well, I think. >> maybe she just wasn't interested and you. guys both weren't interested. >> I think that's was that's what it was. She didn't know how to verbalize it. I. don't think English was her first. language, though. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> All right. Yeah, >> I don't know where she was from, but she. wasn't from America. >> Gotcha. Hold on. >> This one reminded me of you. This.

because they [ __ ] whistled too much. >> Oh my god. My biggest [ __ ] pet peeve, dude, is a whistler. >> Just [ __ ] whistling Dixie all through. the house. Like, who? Come on, man. Like, knock it the [ __ ] off. My autistic. ears can't handle those high pitches. I. was going to say, is there a certain. type of pitch of whistle that you can. handle versus none of them? >> Yeah, I like a low hum. That's about it. I hate high whistle. Which is crazy cuz. the As Confess intro, it's literally me. triggering my own [ __ ] That's why when.

people are in the comments and they're. like, "I [ __ ] hate it." I'm like, "Me, too.". >> And then other people are like, "I love. it.". >> No, I hate whistling. I don't like it. It's like a [ __ ] recorder. You know. those things? >> My kids just love [ __ ] you guys. >> I could play the [ __ ] out of one of. those in third grade, though. >> Yeah, same. Oh my gosh, she made me buy. her two. >> Y. >> What colors? >> I would love. >> There's a nice blue one and then there's. a pink one. >> They're switching her up. >> Yeah, it was like a rainbowish like um. unicorn looking one. She really likes. it. >> Yeah, I think I rented I think I rented.

mine. >> Yeah, she she was like, "Oh my god, mom, guess what? I learned how to play it." I. said, "That's crazy.". >> Hot cross buns. >> I didn't ask to hear it. >> Can you How does that one go? Remind me. >> Hot cross buns. Hot cross buns. Mhm. >> I feel like I'm really missing out here. I don't know what a recorder is. >> The [ __ ] little flute thing. >> It kind of looks like a like a fake. clarinet. >> Never. >> So, what's the blue and pink thing. you're talking about? >> That's Olivia's. But I. >> color They're like a like a size of a.

ruler, you know? >> A little bit bigger. Yeah. >> Really? They're like plastic, right? >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Mine was. >> Is that how you play it? [laughter]. >> Is there a read? >> Got it really wet. >> She got to. moisten it up. There's not a read. >> No. >> Whose mom was teaching me how to play. the saxophone? Was that your mom? My mom. was a music teacher. >> She really taught me and I blew like. as soon as she told me what to do. It. was great. >> She walked you through it. >> Yeah. No, it was awesome. All right, I. got one ready.

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>> he shat with the door open in a mountain. cabin. We were seeing each other for. about two months. went away for the. first time. I got really sick. But the. but on the morning I woke up and started. making us coffee until I smelled. something rancid. >> It was him taking a shot with a bathroom. door wide open. His reason was he wanted. to feel free. Whatever the reason. Disgusting. >> I get it. Yeah. >> I don't know because I feel No.

>> Two months in and you're [ __ ] with. the door open. >> No. Okay, >> dude. I don't even pee with the door. open. I'm so weird about that. >> I listen, I don't think women should. [ __ ] in front of their partners. And I. get so much hate for this whenever every. anytime I say this, but I will never. [ __ ] in front of my significant other. >> I think that's fair. >> at all. No, [clears throat] not doing. it. >> Disagree. [ __ ] kids out in front of him. I didn't. mind. >> That's different. That's a situation. Like. >> I just meant like I It was all.

>> But that wasn't like you had bad. Yeah, okay. I get that. Yeah, >> you know, you were creating life. >> I had an ex that. we had went out and we were lit and. middle of the night I'm still like kind. of awake. Gets up and like runs to the. bathroom. I'm like, "Fuck, bathroom's in. my bedroom. >> I'm going to hear it." And I literally. hear just blowing it up and I was like, "Yeah, I got to go." And I I literally. went to my guest room and went to bed. and found out I came down the next.

morning, my trash can. is on my sink. And I was like, "What's. that?" He was like, "That's where I had. to throw up in." I said, "Awesome.". Both ends, same time. >> Okay. But I feel like that's Yeah, he's. sick. You're a [ __ ]. >> That was crazy. [laughter]. >> Still gave me the damn. >> still gave me the sick. >> He's like He's got food poisoning. >> I didn't know he's drunk. I feel like if. you've been with somebody for two or. three months and they they feel. comfortable enough to [ __ ] with you in. the same room as them, like close the.

door. Just tell them. >> Yeah, I get that. But I'm talking about. the lady who wrote in. >> Yeah, >> I'm talking about the Well, he was sick, so that dude deserves a pass cuz if you. shouldn't. >> drunk. >> Oh, gotcha. He wasn't sick. Oh, okay. >> Drunk. >> Yeah. Well, then control yourself. Yeah, I get that. Um, but I think when when. you've been with somebody for like two. or three months and they're [ __ ] in. the same room with you with the door. closed, I don't think there's anything. wrong with that. Yeah. I think like. that's nitpicking and being a little. picky cuz what happens if one day. [ __ ] you have to [ __ ] and you guys.

sharing a hotel room or something? >> Sharing a hotel room. What are you going. to do? Go to the lobby? >> Yep. >> Yo. >> Yeah. >> Okay. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. No, even like when whenever we. have to like share like a a shower room, I literally won't hit that bathroom. I. will hit the lobby bathroom. >> You don't use the shower room? >> No, I will use it to shower, but if I. got to go number two, I will hit the. lobby. Yeah, >> you got to take a. >> Yeah, I think every That's like a. >> smell tropical fart. >> Yeah. Oh god. >> Do we even talk about it? [laughter].

>> Tropical fart. >> You didn't hear this whole conversation. yesterday? >> Tropical fart is a key word. will not I. will not poop in front of anybody. Jay. with him 10 years never saw me [ __ ]. Okay. Farted one time in front of him by. accident which we talked about. >> Huh? >> Sundress. >> No, she took him the poop. She didn't. poop in front of him. >> Yeah, that's when I [ __ ] my pants. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But anyways, so D went down. to go get the coffees and I went into. the bathroom thing and I just had to pee.

and then all of a sudden a loaf a loaf. appeared, you know, and I just had to. get it out real quick. Well, it didn't. smell, but I wanted to make sure. So, we. have PooPourrier in there. So, I spray. it, right? [laughter]. And he's down there for like 10 minutes, right? Comes back up. [laughter]. I [ __ ] hate him. Comes back up and he. goes, "Did you make [laughter].

>> Stop right now?". >> He goes, "Did you make a poopy? >> [laughter]. >> A poopy is crazy. [laughter]. >> Like, [gasps] shut the [ __ ] up. I'm. like, no, I didn't to his child. I. [laughter]. >> He said, "You made a poopy." He goes, "It smells like tropical [laughter]. fart.". [gasps] He said, "It smells like. strawberry fart." And I was just like,

"Bro, thank [laughter] you. >> Go away." He's going to get you a. cupcake. >> Baby's first poop. [laughter]. >> And this whole time I've been denying. it. I'm like, I don't know what the [ __ ]. you're talking about. It didn't happen. I'm like, girls don't poop. >> Yeah. Hate him. Can't stand him. Yep. >> So funny. >> Yeah. That's what I've been having to. deal with. >> What's like a What's like a good hack to. not have the like a bathroom stink after. you blow it up? >> Pooper. Uh no. Let's say you don't have.

that. Light a match. Be a real man. Light a match. >> Put soap in the toilet before you go. >> That's like PooPourri. >> It's like poop if you don't have. PooPourri. >> Never thought about that. >> I saw someone. >> [ __ ] lying next to your. >> Does that glow in a YouTube video? Maybe. I don't know. Uh, put it in the. toilet. So then when you flush it mixes. with soap, so it kind of helps. And as. soon as it hits the water, flush. >> Flush. >> Don't let it linger. >> Don't break the seal. >> Mhm. >> Yeah. They call that a courtesy flush. >> Yeah. >> I'll be hitting those like crazy.

>> Yep. >> Not me. I like to let it linger. I want. to waft in my own scent. >> Yeah. I had to take her toilet paper. earlier and she said, "If you love me, you'll sniff it." [laughter]. >> That's what I heard. >> That part, not the part. >> Yeah, that [laughter] was crazy. >> What? That's crazy. >> All right, who's next? I have a quick. one. [snorts]. >> They didn't float. >> What? >> What? They didn't float. >> Was it a dead body? >> No, I think they were just swimming. [laughter]. >> That could have been taken so many. different ways. That's crazy.

>> I literally just picture someone like. >> how to tread water like [laughter]. >> not knowing how to tread water. >> But also, have you seen the videos and. it'll be like immediate ick and they go. under the water and it's like the feet. kicking? [laughter]. >> Like the dudes with their little feet. >> Oh god. Do any of you still plug your. nose when you jump in the water though? >> No. I never grew up. >> Okay, good. Yeah, that's an automatic. That's a roast if I mean it is. respectful. >> I might if it the water's really dirty.

>> That's fair. Like Yeah. If it's like a. dirty water river or something dirty, >> I guess. Yeah. I don't know. >> I like to swim in what I can't see the. bottom of my feet in. >> Yeah, the ocean is scary. It's a scary. place. >> Yeah, dude. Cash almost got taken out. yesterday. He didn't know what a wave a. wave could take you. So, it just started. taking him. I was like, Olivia, get him. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> She's like in the water. She's just. watching him get taken away. like, "Dude, get your brother.". >> She's [laughter] like, "I've been. waiting for this moment.".

>> He wasn't around. >> She's waving to him. >> Yeah, that's [laughter] literally her. I'm like fully dressed on the beach and. she's just standing there watching him. get taken out by the waves. >> So funny. >> That's so Olivia. Go ahead, Hime. >> I came over and he had I came over and. he had a twinsized bed. >> No. Uh, wait. >> I had one for a minute. I'm not going to. lie. But like what if the room was. small? >> Yeah. >> You know what I mean? Like I can't. imagine putting a queen size in your.

bedroom. >> Bro, I had I had went and visited a dude. who was on probation on house arrest at. his grandma's house who only had a. [ __ ] twin bed with the [ __ ] [ __ ]. still on it. You know how the old people. keep the crackle thing on it? The. plastic. Yeah. And we slept on it. We. would like wake up and just sweating on. this [ __ ]. >> crackling every time you move. >> Yeah. I don't know. I feel like if you. really want to [ __ ] like what if he. was a great dude with a twin bed? >> You know what? Buy him a queen. >> Yeah, [ __ ] Buy him a queen. If it if.

it bothers you that bad, mattresses are. [ __ ] cheap on Amazon. >> But it up against it. >> Yeah. Me, too. Two twins. >> I think judging somebody for them not. being able to afford something is a. little [ __ ] up. >> Exactly. >> But I I mean. >> but I like to swing low and I have low. expectations. So, nobody listened to me. All right. >> You know, when you were describing him, I said, >> "Yeah, [laughter]. I mean it was like, is he still around?". Oh, that could No, you don't want him. >> No, I I had a twin bed for a while. >> You had a twin bed for Do you bring. girls home to it? >> Um, >> how did that work out? Do you guys just. sleep really close? >> Uh, yeah. Yeah, I think it was like I.

think it was college days for sure. Um, definitely not a dorm, but like student. apartments, you know. It was. >> Mhm. So, did you live with I Great. I. have questions. >> Let's go. >> Did you live with a bunch of dudes? Like. >> Yeah, two dudes, but I never met him. before. And it was my first time living. in Tennessee. >> Yeah. >> Wait, so how did you meet him? Craigslist? >> No, I just met him that day. It was like. a like when you apply to live there, they pair you with people. >> It was like my college dorm. I didn't. know. >> Yeah. I didn't know that that was even a. thing. So. >> So how did you bring people back into. those situations? >> So you shared the living room and the.

kitchen. >> And everyone had their own room and. bathroom. So it's very easy to just. >> Yeah. >> Oh, it was awesome. >> You guys had your own room and bathroom? I didn't have my own room and bathroom. >> I had to share. >> share bathroom. >> Bathroom and room. >> Oh, I'd fight our beds were like this. >> Mhm. M but like also I would just be. like yo. >> were you in a dorm? >> Yeah. >> See that's the difference between dorm. and different dorm rooms. >> Student housing is a little better than. dorms. I think. >> I was Yeah, I was in a dorm. >> Dorm is a little un un. >> And you could bring people back to your. dorm. >> I would.

>> Oh, that's for sure. Like not keeping. the dick from me. >> I bring them back even if they were like. asleep. >> Dog. I've been to a couple of dorms. They're pretty lit. >> Wait, so you [ __ ] him while she was in. the room asleep? >> I think so. Yeah. >> Quietly. >> But I think she also did the same. >> Kind of didn't care. Yeah. I think once. you live with somebody and you're just. try stuck together, you just have to. figure it out. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Oh god. Okay. >> Okay. Because I get it. >> This person said he tasted like sour. milk when I kissed him. >> That's howtosis, baby.

>> He must have been an alcoholic. >> I don't like it. >> Sour stomach. That's That's your. microbiome. >> If someone leaves a linger on you, immediately dumping them. >> A linger. >> Yeah. Like a lingering smell on you. of. >> They left a tinge on you. >> I have another tinge one. >> Go ahead. >> They smelled like Spaghettiios and had. the personality of a chip of lead paint. >> A chip of. >> I don't hate that. >> We have some in the pantry. >> I like Spaghettiios. I know.

>> I don't meatballs or without the. >> meatballs. Oh, happy meatballs. The. meatballs are fire. >> I'll [ __ ] eat them. >> Not just Oh, >> you're picking out the meatballs. >> I'll eat them first. Yeah. No, I. purposely when I was younger would take. more out of the thing. Yeah. And then my. brother would have like two. >> I love the meatballs. [clears throat]. >> They're fire. >> Yeah. >> Get it. >> All right. So, but the personality of a. wet chip paint or whatever they said. >> A chip of lead paint. >> Chip chip of lead paint. >> Chip lead paint. >> Not acrylic.

>> What color? It could have a lot of. personality. Toxic. >> Oh, gotcha. >> Mhm. >> I thought that boring. >> No, me too. >> All right. This one says, [laughter]. >> "I actually know this person. I had to. DM them afterwards and ask him about. it." He said it was the way that they. kissed, tongue moving in hyper speed. He. said he would she would just jet it into. his mouth. >> Ew. Like. a [ __ ] lizard, right? >> Like a lizard. [laughter] I couldn't I. couldn't do that. >> Jam it into his mouth. He's like just a.

rocket tongue. >> Oh my god. >> When you kiss ladies, you got to be. sensual about it. Be sweet. >> Yeah. Why are we jamming tongues into. their mouths? >> Yeah, none of that. >> Well, that she obviously didn't practice. on her wall like we talked about. >> Oh, it was a girl. I thought it was a. dude. >> No, the dude messaged me. You know him, too. Um, and he said that this girl. would just like. >> This girl said his toenails. [ __ ]. nasty men out here with witchy ass. toenails. >> I know exactly what she means by witchy.

It's like the curls. I know toes. Ah, >> I already know. dude's feet. >> I kind of just don't want to see them. Like, just always wear socks. >> Keep the socks on. >> If I see a jean sandal combo, dude, I. get so mad. >> Speaking of sandals, this person said he. wore flip flops on a rope swing and the. flip flops made him stumble. E. >> on a rope [laughter] swing. >> What the hell? >> Tripping on your [ __ ] Davy Crockett. What is happening?

>> Flip flops on a rope. >> [ __ ] where the red fern grows. Like, what is happening, dude? It says he just. wraps his big toes around the rope. swing. Could you imagine. >> in the sandal? >> He just bend the sand back. >> That's crazy. >> I got chills. I didn't like that one. >> I just [laughter] got so cold in here. >> Yeah, I did. I felt that, too. >> Me, too. You got a little goosebumps. >> Yeah, I got chills, too. >> Turn the spirit box on. >> Ooh, >> cuz it literally got so cold. >> I literally Look, I have goosebumps. right now. >> All of us at one time. See my.

goosebumps? >> I've had more hair. That's weird. That's. crazy. You guys, you don't have hair. I. don't even think you have the follicle. to grow the hair. >> Yeah. Put the spirit box on because. something just happened. That was crazy. >> That was crazy right now. >> Uh, this lady said no earlobes. >> No, >> I have questions. Did they Was it a dog? Did they get their ears cropped? What is. happening? Was it? Yeah. Like what is. How do you just miss earlobes? >> Uh, I mean Okay, but I have seen it. So, is it if they have those big things in.

it and then have them. >> No, I've just seen it where like the the. lobe doesn't come down. It just goes. like the bend goes straight to It's like. a perfect C. >> It's like the ear took a shortcut. >> Yeah. >> It just went straight to the head and. little pixie ears. >> No, just on the bottom. It just sees. out. There's no little. >> Yeah. There's a lot less surface with. the wrist. >> Have you ever seen someone with like. incredibly small ears? >> Mhm. >> Yeah. And incredibly big ears. >> You know, yours never stop growing. I'm. so excited for that. >> I have to sneeze. Hold on.

>> Au. I mean, bless you. >> No. Why did I [laughter]. You did a thing. >> She said au. >> You did a sneeze and you bless yourself. >> That was like when you answered yourself. in the car the other day. Should I suck. your dick? No. Ew. >> What happened? >> I be I I will literally answer myself. >> She asked a question to someone else and. then answered it herself. She's like, should I suck your dick? No. Ew. >> When was this?

>> When we were drunk coming out of the bar. the other night. >> Oh lord. [laughter]. >> Oh, my friend Anthony, he's so funny. He's like a comedian on Facebook or on. Instagram or [ __ ] social media, one. of those platforms. Anyways, he said, "One rogue hair around her butthole. holding on to a large piece of toilet. paper for dear life.". >> Rogue hair. >> No, I bet you she washed her hair and. the hair got stuck in her butt crack. >> Maybe. >> Wait, say that again. The hair was. attached to what? a rogue piece of. toilet paper. >> Oh, it's the dingleberry. Just [ __ ].

>> Yeah. >> Would you just flick it off? >> Of course. That's not That's not a sign. of bad hygiene. That's a bad timing. [laughter]. >> Bad timing. >> That's so funny. >> That timing is funny. >> Bad timing is crazy. >> That's what it is. Bad timing. >> Guys, we got two words. The first one. was console. Either console table. >> paper. >> What' I say? >> What' I say? She stuttered. >> Now I got to stop. >> Yeah, she makes no. >> end the whole podcast.

>> Stop. Just end it right now. >> All right, one last one. [laughter]. >> Oh, wait. Here's the Hollywood Undead. one. I still want to know which one it. was. >> I do. >> Um, he came too fast and then he went. into the bathroom and I could tell he. was crying in there and he tried to hold. back tears when he came back to me. No, I didn't finish, but I laughed hard now. I need a man, not a little boy. That's not fair. It could have been a. minute for him, >> bro. Imagine being so hot and then you.

make a guy come that fast and then. you're like, "You suck.". >> That's cute. >> That's crazy. >> Yeah. But like, did he make her like she. didn't come? She said she didn't finish. >> Yeah. But like you. Yeah. Like Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like. totally [ __ ] like make him feel like. the man, whatever. And then [ __ ] again. >> Go round two. Go round two. Like you. just accept the fact you were hot and he. busted. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. A little sugar-free Gatorade and. >> he could have just been so horny from. the sexual tension. What? What?

>> Is that the Is that the round two uh. starter pack? >> A yellow sugar-free Gatorade. I'll go. crack it and then. >> Well, it's not sugar-free. >> Yeah, >> I don't do I don't do that. I don't. know. >> That's just a you thing. >> It's me thing. Yeah, the sugar. >> Oh, this was like universal. >> No, just for me. I like the hydration. from the yellow one. >> Me, too. I prefer it. Okay. >> It's my favorite. >> I get it. It's a little like pine sully, but I love it. >> Like a little cleanerish. Doesn't taste. like cleaner. Do you? >> I love the yellow one. >> The yellow one doesn't taste like. cleaner. >> What's your favorite? >> You also didn't think Glacier tasted.

like anything. >> The blue. >> The blue one. >> Yeah, light blue. >> I guess I call it by its government. name. >> Yeah. >> What? >> What's. >> Glacier Freeze? >> Yeah. Government name. >> You have to call it by its color. >> Yeah. >> Someone here. >> Sorry. >> Full govern. >> Full GVY. >> Surprise. >> Kennedy. >> You said is someone here and it said. Kennedy. All right, Kennedy. We love. you, >> Kennedy. >> Like JF. >> All right, guys. Thank you guys so much. for submitting in all of your uh your. little petty reasons for breaking up. with people. [snorts] We will come up. with a new topic for next week. And I.

cannot wait to see what you guys submit. And if you guys want to submit, go to. all of our Instagrams and once we put. the subject up, ask Confess, DM us. Or. if you have just a story and you want us. to create um a an episode out of it, >> just send us your story. All right, love. you guys. Talk to you later. See you. next week. Bye.