Gettin’ Cracked By A Rockstar | Ask, Tell, Confess

Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. [music]. Ask, tell, [music] confess. [singing]. Sweet Caroline. Good times never seemed so. good. Good.

So good. So good. All right, I'm not. even going to pretend like I know the. rest of the words. My husband the other. day, let me tell you what my husband was. doing. Oh. Every day my husband walks around the. house singing songs. I mean he. >> Sometimes he doesn't know the words and. he makes up his own words. I get it. Then. he walks in the room and he's singing. Creed. And I mean. >> Excuse me? >> And he's belting Creed at the top of his. lungs and he starts to say the wrong.

lyrics. >> No. And I said, "Sir, I listened to you. massacre and butcher songs all day long. You're not going to do that to Creed.". >> No. And [laughter] he. lost it, dude. >> a divorce. I'm not. How does it feel to kick your husband. out of your house? [laughter]. Dude. >> Yeah. I literally he f-. lost it. We were laughing so hard. He. said, "Butcher songs." I said, "You do.". I go, "You do it on stage." Yeah, you. butcher the original songs. songs. You make up lyrics, dude, all the.

time. I said, "You just freestyle." He. said, "I'm getting a divorce.". Freestyle. >> [laughter]. >> She said, "So the divorce is final." Not. doing it with Creed. >> No. Not Creed or Nickelback, leave them. out. >> All right. They didn't deserve that. >> No. No. >> Crazy. And then he's in the fuck- still. butcher in the song. I'm like, "You know. what? I'm. [ __ ] it, dude.". How's everybody doing? Good. Cramping. >> Aw. Do you want this heating pad? >> have a diaper on right now? I do. You're our little crappy patty.

>> [laughter]. >> The nice nice diaper. >> Is it a diapy or is it a period. underwear? >> It's the diapers. It's diapers. Period underwear, but it's. a di- it's like No, you have. >> That's a diaper. Oh. The period. underwear literally look like a pair of. underwear. >> Oh, and they're so much more comfortable. than the diapers. Once I get you on the. This was comfy. Oh, so. The everybody was asking in the comments. like what kind of period panties do you. guys wear? I don't know what type they. are. I just get them off Amazon. >> Same here. >> the nylon the nylon like stretchy comfy.

material and they're so soft. >> I use the boy short ones. >> Yep. >> Cuz I'm so scared to leak out of them. >> Yeah, I don't think I can do regular. Oh, I promise you can. Do you remember. when we were on the plane the other day. and you said, "Who left their underwear. on the plane?". >> Yeah. >> Those were period underwear. I could No, I would go. out of it. Yeah. Abs- No. >> The boy shorts are great. I do. >> these. These are the Rail like organic. cotton ones. Yeah. Something like that. I looked at the most healthy. I'm.

telling you. >> A lot of people wrote in about that and. was. Can we help you? Excuse me? What? Is he licking the gum that you stick. under there? Maybe. I'd like to see how. much gum is under that table. Oh. Oh. Oh, you love the mic, honey. I love you. His birthday's coming up in. a couple weeks. He's going to be eight. Is he I thought he was going to be nine. No, I think he'll be eight, right? >> Nine. Nine? No. >> They're Yes, he's the same age as Luna,

the one you call old all the time. Is he really going to be nine? Yeah. Yeah. He's going to be 64. Wait, what's 9 * 7? Oh, you're asking the wrong person. >> 63. 63? My fuck-. citizen dog. But you still look young. and spry. So that's all that matters, [clears throat]. baby. The way he moves like a sloth. >> [laughter]. >> He's been such a jerk. >> "Young and spry?" Yeah.

>> [laughter]. >> He's been such a jerk the past few days. Like he's just not loving it all. All. right, guys. So every Sunday we all put. in our. stories ask, tell, confess on Instagram. So if you are not following us on. Instagram, I'm xomgitsbunny. She's makeupbyhaley and you are. mimies.1620. Yes. Go to our profiles and submit your.

ask, tell, confess. If it's too much to. write in the little boxes, just DM us, but put ask, tell, confess before it so. that we actually really read it. >> Yeah, we can choose it cuz it got deep. there for a second. >> Yeah, yeah, yeah. >> really get in the trenches to find them. Yeah, so make sure you put ATC before it. and will you're more than you'll more. than likely make it on the episode. So. who wants to kick this off? I got a really good one. Okay, go. >> This is actually a mutual friend of. ours. Oh boy. She told me I could say I. know I didn't steal this story. It was. in her stories the other day and she.

wrote to me and said, "You can actually. use my story." She's going through. something similar that we had just. talked about a couple episodes ago, so I. thought it was crazy. She said in her. story she had posted. a screenshot of a Facebook status from a. man talking about how he had just. discovered he had a. 30-something-year-old. daughter. And how it was not like. in his realm of 2026 finding out through. an ancestry. website that he's got a daughter who. reaches out to him. So I was like,

"Girl, is that you like you? You reached. out to this dude?" She was said, "Yes.". So finding out my mom homey hopped. My. dad is my brother's dad's best friend. Hold on. Say it again. So. her brother has a dad, which I'm. assuming she assumed was her dad also. >> Brother has a dad. Yep. The dad's best. friend. >> Okay, so grandpa's best friend. Just dad. Dad's best friend.

>> yeah. Dad's best friend. So No, but it. would be her grandpa, right? >> No, no, no, sorry. I just meant the. brother's dad. Okay. >> So her brother's dad So that just means. >> it was probably her dad, too, but it's. actually dad's best friend. >> Yeah, so mom homey hopped. On What if they had a menage a trois? Well, I don't know. And so she said she. never had told me and then I said, "No. way, we just talked about something like. that on ask, tell, confess." And she. said, "Yeah, dude, the guy who I thought. was my dad also knew that I was not his.

child. No one told me." So the mom knew, the man she grew up thinking was her dad. also knew, and she ended up taking an. ancestry to find out. So everyone knew but her. Yes, she found. out on April Fools' Day. That's f- I wouldn't believe it if it. was April Fools'. I know. Good joke. Yeah, sorry, Ancestry. That's crazy. That's why I'm telling you, man, you got. to tell your kids where they come from. Yeah. They're going to find out. >> Yeah. And you want to do it in the most.

gentle way so that they're not. Don't get that like. you know, stabbed in the heart pain. because it's not fair. >> that. Um all right. Well, everybody start telling your. where they're from, okay? Yeah, I can't. believe how common this is. To me that. seems like such a like out of the world. thing, but like the more we talk about. it publicly, the more I'm finding these. people. Well, it's a generational thing. So it's like the parents from like.

you know, like. It's the older generation. They don't. want Right. They don't want to admit. their mistakes and it's like, "Dude, if. you. sucked the dick and sat on it. and a child was. conceived, that is your responsibility. as a parent to not put your shame onto. your child because in the end that's. just going to screw them up more. Yeah, 100%. >> We talk about this in depth on the last. ask, tell, confess. So if you guys want. to hear about that, you can. Um [gasps].

okay, I got one. I get all the. questions. When I She wants to remain anonymous and. I know why. When I was a teen, I was. involved in sports. I was at a swim. practice one day when my stomach started. to feel awful. Cramps, aching, you name. it. I decided to keep swimming. As I was. going down the lane, it hit. A shart. But it was massive. >> No. I got out of the water and ran to. the bathroom to clean up. Luckily, nobody even noticed or mentioned.

anything. I, however, am still mortified. to this day. Wet one-piece isn't the. best for a clean-up like that. Always. keeping my fingers crossed that nobody. saw anything or smelled anything. How did they not see brown water? I. don't know. It may Well, those swimmer. bikinis are our swimmer bathing suits. are tight. I bet you it held it inside. >> It held it inside. She probably got out. as fast as she could and. Oh. Oh, poor thing. I feel so bad. >> poor little baby.

>> Mm, and have to [ __ ] keep swimming. Yeah, when I was like three I [ __ ] in a. pool one time a public pool. I too have [ __ ] in pools. Yes, you did. Mm. Yeah. Yep. I think I. tried to put those in the book and they. didn't They took so much out of the book. now that I think about it. >> no, they [laughter] did. The lazy river. poop and she's like, "I just watched the. poop go down the lazy river." I wish. that would have stayed in. I blew my. whistle and said that there's caddy. shacks. Everybody had to get out. >> know what that is. No. I don't know what. that is, either. She doesn't know what a. caddy shack is. Oh.

The hell? Anyways. >> Lingo. Moving on. Okay, [clears throat]. I got one. Go ahead, friend. Okay. This is a confession. I hooked up with the singer of a rock. band in an alley in Knoxville after his. show. Which band, [ __ ] Tell me. Tell. us. I was ready for my one and only. one-night stand as he was only the third. person I'd hooked up with. Well, we were. in the middle of the deed, and a. crackhead rode by. >> [laughter].

>> on his bike and said, "Yeah, man, we've. all been there before." and tried to. watch. The dude I was with said, "Carry. on, dude." and the crackhead rode on. down the alley. >> [laughter]. >> It instantly killed the mood because we. couldn't stop laughing. We have been. dating for 4 years now. Uh this one said, "I was having sex with. a guy. He used hand sanitizer as lube. without knowing the lights were off. I. didn't know until my vagina was on. fire.". That's the worst.

I actually got that one, too, and I got. the full story. So, he didn't tell her until she started. burning, and he was like he knew he was. using hand sanitizer and didn't tell. her. What a dick. I put it in. I was going to say, yeah. Yeah, with their little pee hole. Yeah. That's the little pee hole.

snake. Yeah. That's interesting. >> [laughter]. >> Okay. All right, this one I got to put my. glasses on for. It's a little long, and. I don't know, it kind of made me sad for. her when I was reading it cuz. >> [sighs and gasps]. >> you know, sometimes we got to give the. girlies some advice, all right? Unpopular opinion, I'm still together. with a man who cheated on me more than. five times. [gasps]. We are in our 14th year together, married for nine. We have four kids, two.

together and two I have adopted from one. of my husband's previous relationships. I knew about his indiscretions as they. were happening. I even found a used pair. of undies in the glove box of his truck. once. Each time he was confronted, the boy in. him deflected. I was told to leave so. many times, but I wasn't ready. Something told me not to give up on him. or our life together. Fast forward years. later, and the boy in him grew up. It. wasn't overnight, and I'm still silently.

dealing with the bits of that betrayal. over time, but he realized somewhere. along the way that his family was the. center of his heart. This opened up. avenues of communication we had never. experienced before. We are still. learning, making baby steps, but in the. right direction. He hasn't had an. indiscretion in over 8 years now. God is. good. Haley's face. >> [gasps]. >> So, I cannot talk about anything,

>> [snorts]. >> but my husband had one indiscretion. behind my back 9 years ago, and he. became the most amazing man ever. Very public knowledge, nobody will shut. the [ __ ]. Um. five times, however, is wild, and I love that she sounds like. an amazing woman. She took in two kids. that aren't hers. She. stood by him stood by him in his darkest. moments, and I get, you know, what is. for everybody doesn't work for.

everybody. You know, like what is for. one person doesn't work for everybody. So, in no way, shape, or form am I going. to shame a woman for standing by her man. because I truly want I stand by my man. 100%. But, I just wish she did not have to go. through that five times because that is. so Yeah, cuz I feel like the panties, someone was definitely leaving those cuz. they knew like those kind of things, but. again, like she just might be the person. who's meant for him cuz I don't feel.

like there are many women like her. And has he really stopped, or has he. just gotten better at hiding it? That's. because seeing that many times, like not saying that their family's not. worth it at all, but me, the person I. am, I'd be like, "Okay, this dude's just. gotten way better at hiding it.". Correct. And you know, and maybe that's. what she's talking about what's left. over is like her PTSD from the first. five. That's betrayal trauma.

Betrayal trauma is the worst to have to. try to. So, I can't imagine going through that. five times. There's no way. What's your take, Haley, cuz I saw your. face over there. >> [laughter]. >> I mean, I really can't speak on this. because I've never been in a. relationship long enough for them to. cheat, especially five times. I mean, but I found out my ex was talking to. multiple girls on Snap, and I ended. immediate. You know, so like I don't. know. I. I don't think I can judge anyone's.

personal journey. Yeah, cuz that's their. own journey, and everyone's different, and. I mean, we don't know these people, so. Do do whatever you feel like. Listen, if you're happy, and you guys. are still in this relationship, and. you're not using it against him every. day, and it's not a topic of. conversation every day, and like you. guys have moved on, then cool. But, I. truly believe that as women, if we. decide to stay after infidelity, it's. our responsibility to move the [ __ ] Yes.

You do not stay with somebody to make. their life miserable because in the end. that's going to make your life. miserable. Or you don't stay with a man. so that another woman can't get him. Like let let her have him. She'll be where you are in 2 years, you. know? So, just know that if you do decide to. stay with somebody and work through it. cuz you have to work through it. If you. don't work through it, it's just going. to be. an ever-evolving door that you guys are. going to have to go through of emotions, and nobody wants to do I do feel like.

these this situation, they worked. through it, and they grew from it. And. like she said, communication got so much. better. Those situations put them in a a. position in which it made their. relationship stronger. So, hopefully. this is for the best, and you guys were. able both to move on. The only thing. that I was hung up on is that she said. it's been 8 years since he's cheated on. her, and she said she's still trying to. work through the betrayal. So, that. makes me think that she's still, you. know, rightfully so, you know, but at. the same time it's like.

you know, like we got to Are you truly. happy? Yeah, are you truly happy, or are. you just staying? That to me is all that. matters, like. For sure. Go ahead, who's next? I'm about to change the pace. I have a. question. Do you think a guy could be gay if he. likes anal too much? Oh, I had this. problem before. Well, no, because it could just feel good to. him. Well, then that means that your vagina. is not tight enough for him. If he only. wants anal, that means that he likes the.

tightness of the hole, so it could. either be. he likes anal or likes to do anal. Ooh. I'm confused. He likes it in the. butt. too much. So, that's probably doing. anal. I think. I had an ex like that. It just gets. boring. It's like. That's where you Yeah. And I mean, listen, I can't. >> [laughter]. >> And you get hemorrhoids. You get hemorrhoids. Like it's not.

comfortable. Women who enjoy Sorry, different breed. Oh, yeah, no. Like I Go. you, because I could never. Never. Not. all the time. That's like a [ __ ] up around it and give. it like once a year type [ __ ] Once a. year is a lot. >> [laughter]. >> Damn, once in a lifetime is a lot. Absolutely not. You won't even know with cream bikini. memes. No tankini. >> [laughter].

>> No tankini, a little tankini and No? Your Jason's birthday just passed. He. didn't get any. >> [laughter]. [clears throat]. >> Yours is coming up. Damn, [laughter] work daddy. I'm. starting to feel sorry for you, buddy. Mimi, do you have any more? >> [snorts]. [laughter].

>> Just a lot of poop, I feel like. You. always You got to prep for that. You. can't just. >> [clears throat]. >> wing it. Those are my butt holes from. the floor up. The older I get, I can't poop, ever. I love when you asked Sunny to roast. you, and it said that your most concern. is not being able to poop. Literally. So. funny. This is a short one. This one. said, "My kids' dad lives in my. basement, and he only showers two times. last year. That is no joke." Sounds like.

he's depressed. Showering twice in 1 year Maybe get him. out of the basement. Why is he in the. basement? I mean, yeah, why are we in. the basement? Sounds like baby daddy's. going through a hard time and might need. a little boost. Like get him out of the. shower. That, too. But, get him out of. the basement, get him into some. sunshine. New clothes. New clothes. Maybe make him stay on his own. You. know? Cuz he might need a little help. He. might have to man up.

You know, and be a responsible dad. God, two two times in a year? I couldn't. imagine. I showered right fresh out of a. facelift. She did? There I. I could not When I first met Bonnie, she. used to shower three times a day. I. still do. I shower twice a day, for. sure. I still do. Today I'll have taken three. showers. One before the gym, one after the gym, one at night. Oh, yeah. And that was the wildest thing to me. Yeah, I still do it. Like I do not like.

feeling dirty. Ugh. I can't do it. I used to hook up with a. guy who was grossed out by his own. I got that one, too. Yeah, yeah. throw. the towel and run. Yeah. There's a few. There's a few dudes that are like that. I've had somebody like that before. Scared of their own like. It's not that they're scared, they're. OCD. So they don't like it. It like. freaks them out. I can't like sleep in. Ew, who's sleeping? I know someone I'm.

not joking. I had a friend who was like. they don't clean up after. Okay. Smells. like a [ __ ] kitty litter box down. there then. There's no way. Are you kidding? Our pH balance would be. wrecked. I don't love like a lot of. slime. >> [laughter]. >> No, I don't either. I don't I can't. I'm going to be celibate the rest of my. No, you're not. No, I'm just wait till a 6-ft guy walks. by. That'll change real quick.

>> [laughter]. >> 6'2" and she's like, "Guys, I'm not. celibate.". Was dating a guy who drank a lot so he. could barely get it up. He asked to bang. me in the ass with a zucchini. And then afterwards, he ate it for. breakfast. >> I got that one, too. They ate the. zucchini. >> Who's having zucchini for breakfast? >> And your eggs, it's delicious. >> No way. Yeah, I love a good zucchini. >> No. >> [laughter]. >> Listen, no. I would have thrown the. [ __ ] me out, okay?

>> The fact that he ate it is insane. >> it before eating it, you think? >> I'm sure. But dude, zucchinis are kind of big. How. are you getting that in your ass? They are big. Don't they start out small. though? Like No, that's a squash. Zucchinis are about this big around, dude. Are you thinking of the big one? I was. thinking like at the end it gets like. small and then it No. >> Oh. Zucchinis are just all They're like. cucumbers. >> Mhm. Yeah, it's shaped like a cucumber, but I feel like they're girthier than.

cucumbers. >> Oh, they're so girthy, especially. Mr. Terry. I'm so excited for his garden. to get up. I can't wait. I go and I get. his zucchinis and squash. >> I want to go there whenever he puts it. up. I think we should all go and just. Let's do it. Yeah. Oh, I We do. He said me just. posting one video, everybody came and. bought all his stuff. I love that. I. have a local farmers market that Jason. and I like to go to. It's a poultry. swap, but then they have like a garden. farmers market in the front. It's so. nice. >> And how are my turkeys doing? They're. huge. They're I'm not sure if you knew.

this big. Why do they grow so fast? These turkeys are I mean, I Every day I. walk out there, they're that much. bigger. Like we already have to transfer. them into their new homes because they. outgrew their brooder that fast. What do. the new ones do get? Grown. They just They just turkey around the. yard? Yeah, they're huge into like. protecting the. >> around, they strut. Yeah. One of them's. already starting to strut. They're so. cute. >> Like puts his little chest out and it. like puts his little wings out and it's. like.

Yeah. No, they're the turkeys are so cute. I. want a turkey so bad. >> can come visit my turkeys anytime. I'll. get one, but I. Would you like one of them? No. I'll get my own. If they're both boys, I'm I don't know if I can keep them. both. Oh, really? Mhm. Can I have just one? >> Yeah, cuz they're very protective of. flocks. So like they would protect the. cows. Two amigos, Crunch, S'more, and then. Turkey. Yeah. S'more's got his own. little ego going on, too. Oh, I saw.

that. Like won't even come to you half. the time. douche. Yeah, [laughter] and. He's my emo. uh. my emo kid, and then Crunch is just my. all-American all-star football player. jock. >> he's a jock for sure. Can one of you get. baby goats, please? No. Never. We went to Taylor Holder's farm. and they have the cutest little. baby goats and they're just so precious. and they just cuddle with you. All. right, guys. Well, I guess I'm going to. have to go get a freaking turkey. So see.

you guys next week. Bye.