Erica Mena | Dumb Blonde Podcast

Bunny XO. >> She's a Vegas girl. >> Bunny XO blonde podcast and Bunny X. >> Talk to me about. two of the coolest kids. Is this thing on? What's up you sexy? Welcome to another episode of Dumb. Blonde. Today, my girl Erica Mena is in.

the house, baby. >> Looking fly as ever, too. >> Thank you, babe. I was like, I'm seeing. the baddest. I got to come correct. And. I don't do interviews. I hate them. because they end up being just clickbait. and people kind of, you know, Yeah. >> I don't know. They they never been like. my friend. I feel like I. >> I've noticed you do a lot of interviews. with men. They're never going to give. you a chance. >> You know what it is? [laughter] When I. first started in the very beginning, I. to put myself out there, I was just.

doing like Vlad TV, like these weird. little outlets in the beginning that. social media wasn't that big, but I. wanted people to kind of like. >> dive into me and it never turned out. that way. So, over the years, I was just. like, I'm just not going to do. And. plus, I'm a reality TV, so it's like, what can I really say in an interview. that you guys kind of don't see edited. anyway on TV? So, yeah. But um yeah, I. don't do interviews, but um this one I. felt like I had to. >> Um first of all, I was such a big. >> like your whole journey. Like I know.

what's up with you. Um. >> I appreciate. >> I felt like we have a lot in common too. Like. >> you're my buddy. >> Yeah. Like we talk like we could go into. it, but yeah. like you you definitely. like we have, you know, that loss of a. companion, you know, kind of. >> story that we can compare and just I. just love how you're just such a ride or. die. You you kind of own up to who you. were, what you were, and kind of like. this is who I am now, and you just kind. of taken people on your journey, and now.

they have no choice but to you for it. And I feel like it's so similar to like. me. I kind of was that. >> you deserve your flowers and that's what. I was telling you when you first and. thank you for that. I appreciate. Thank. you for seeing me for who I am now and. what I what I've been through and where. I'm at. I really appreciate that and. that means the world to me. Um, but you. also deserve your flowers because girl, to be as relevant as you are in this. world for as long as you have been and. you've literally clawed your way up and. we're going to get into your story.

because I'm sure a lot of people who. listen to my podcast might not know your. backtory and stuff, >> which is really why I wanted to do this. more than ever. new audience, new fresh minds, like. people get to tap and then they can kind. of do their homework on everything. >> But yeah, I've kind of been through a. lot just out there for a long time. >> You have literally you've been a video. vixen. You've been a reality TV star. Now you're dabbling in music and. becoming an actress. And it's like it's.

just so inspiring to see somebody who's. came from where you've come from also. And. >> pretty much we're like, you know what? I'm a force to be reckoned with. Deal. with it. And I love that about you. That's always been your attitude. You. don't hide who you are. I love that you. wear your heart on your sleeve. >> Thank you. >> I just feel like you're just human. And. >> if the world doesn't love you, they. secretly want to be you because. literally you. >> I never thought about it like that. I. think this is, you know,

>> I just was a wild puppy for so long when. I started and I I had no direction. I. just knew I'm going to be this. No one. made like not knowing how to do it or. who I needed to do or how I needed to be. to do it. I was just like this is what. it is and I'm going to go for it. You. grew up in front of the world. That's. not easy. >> Literally, >> that's not easy to grow up. It's like. Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, Britney. Spears. They all had cameras in their. faces in the most pivotal years of their. lives.

>> And so did you. You know, like you. literally were a baby coming up and. every part of your life was documented. Nobody's going to know how to act in. front of one. You said it. You hit the. nail on the head. Nobody guides you. Nobody tells you, "Hey, maybe you. shouldn't act like this or hey, I had no. management, no nothing. It was just kind. of like this is and and even with family. members, like no one knew what the hell. I was doing. They just kind of. >> Well, and reality let me be. [laughter]. >> Well, and reality TV encourages bad. behavior because that gets viewed.

>> Oh my god. And when I got into reality. TV, I swore it was like wrestling. [laughter]. >> I did. I really really did. I was like, "Okay, you just go in." Cuz I was casted. to be the villain. You know, that that. was the conversation we had at the, you. know, when I sat down to even start my. reality journey. And I was just like, "Okay, cool. Let's do it." So, in my. mind, I'm like, "This is like. >> wrestling. You go in, you, you know, you. be the super villain and you go home and. you get to be yourself again." And it. wasn't until, you know, I got my fair.

share of being aired that and the. backlash that I got, I was like, "Oh, maybe it's not like wrestling. necessarily." And at that point, it was. like, "Okay, this is people are going to. believe what they want to believe. So, let me just do my job." And then as you. know, time went on, I realized, okay, they're they're setting me up to kind of. do certain things for what they need, >> right? to bring in ratings. How do I get. control over this for myself so that I.

can kind of. >> get control? >> Absolutely. And I was also going to say. um to one of your points is people think. reality TV is real. You know, >> it is to a certain extent, but at the. same time it's not because no one's. going to really sit down with what a. >> and discuss why they don't like them, >> right? And you guys get put in these. scenarios. I'm sure there's alcohol on. set. I'm sure there's people behind the. scenes talking, putting in people's. ears. >> The early years of Love Hip Hop was. literally we pull up the set and the.

liquor was coming to the van. >> Yeah. See what I mean? >> You want to drink, open up the, you. know, the cooler and you had your poison. of choice right then and there. So, yeah, that's a good point. Absolutely. >> They definitely set you up. They they. gear you up. They juice you up, gear you. up. And then production, this, you know, the truth of how my production worked. You sit in the van, you talk to your. producer, and they kind of lay out. what's gonna happen, what you're gonna, you know, this and then go. >> Yeah. And so, I mean, in a in a sense,

they're seeing snapshots, like little. Polaroid pictures of your life, but just. blown up to where like you've had to. hold something in for such a long time. and not been able to confront a. situation. So, reality TV is real in a. sense, but it's also severely. exaggerated, too. >> So, in the beginning stages, that's kind. of what it was. And then when I started. to when it started to get real and. personal was when I got married and all. that stuff like all of that and like and. it's funny cuz my life will be cool calm.

and then as soon as it's time to start. filming. >> I don't know what it is. It's thea the. luck of it. >> where life just becomes crazy and out of. control and the cameras are rolling and. you just. >> you just got to go roll with it. So, let's cut it right there because we're. going to take it all the way back to. when how this even started, how you even. got into reality TV. And of course, we. will get to your marriage because we. know that that's why everybody's. listening to this interview too, [laughter] unfortunately. >> Unfortunately. >> Um, but I really want to paint a picture. for um my um crowd that of who you are,

where you came from, and all the that. you've been through before you even got. to this reality TV fame. >> So, you were born in the Bronx. Yes, I'm. a Bronx girl. >> and but you have a crazy story because I. every time I watch a new interview with. you, I learn something new about you. You almost don't tell everything all at. once. You you kind of like give bits and. pieces. >> and you remind me so much of myself cuz. you'll be like, "Yeah, so I saw my arm. off, but you know, this happened and it.

was great." You know, and it's like. you're like, "Wait a second. She just. said something supering traumatic." And. then just brushes over it like it's. nothing. >> Yeah. cuz I'm so used to people not. really giving anyway. >> I know. But that's not okay. And it's. not, you know, you are a rarity because we need more. emotion in this world. We need more like. women who are like, "Hey man, this. hurts." There's a clip that we're going. to play later of you talking to your.

ex-husband and it broke me because any. woman that's ever been in some sort of. relationship had to have felt that. moment. Yeah. you know, and we'll get. >> Oh, I know that that that clip has been. viral for like it's still viral. >> Oh, it. >> I get I get people from like Australia. and like all these places that are like. sending me DMs and pouring their hearts. out and it's to this day. >> It's an authentic moment. It's a real. moment. And you weren't afraid to show. that. And I really have to give you your. flowers on that because so many people.

try to just be hard for the cameras or. try to act like they don't have emotion. and you're just like, "No, you know. what? This hurts. I'm going through some. in my life when it comes to the reality. stuff is so real and that's why it irks. me when the other individual tries to. act like it wasn't. >> Yeah. >> For you know safe face purposes, but it. is what it is. So, going back to the. Bronx, um you growing up in the Bronx, you your mom can you take us on that. journey with your mom because your mom. was pregnant with you in prison. >> Mhm. >> So, let's talk about this.

>> Um yeah. >> She's like, "Wait, you did your. research." Yeah. No, no, no. Yeah. Um, I mean, obviously I wasn't born yet, so. I I didn't get to experience much. besides like the foster care stuff and. not being able to be with my mom all the. time. Well, you know, like I'm supposed. to, any kid supposed to in the very. beginning, early stages of their life. But, um, yeah, it was an unfortunate. situation. My mom, wrong place, wrong. time, got caught up. And um my my.

sisters, my older sisters I should say, kind of felt it more than any anybody. Um but yeah, it was it was it was. definitely a trying time for my family, but my mom pushed through. Um I was in. the foster care system for for some time. and um my mom, you know, did what she. had to do when she came out to kind of. get me back. And it wasn't until like I.

was like five, six that some normaly. kind of started to transpire for me. So. the early stages of my life were. definitely away from mom. >> and family. >> And that creates a lot of resentment and. anger in your heart whenever as a as a. child cuz I my mom left me on a doorstep. when I was a baby. >> and that really breeds kind of. resentment sometimes towards women or. sometimes just towards everybody, you. know. >> I feel like for me it wasn't so much. like resentment. It was just more of. like um.

I just [clears throat] felt like it was. just unfair the the things that I had to. deal with as a baby. Yeah. >> You know, and and I can't blame her for. it because it is what it is. But, you. know, the people who were taking care of. me, you know, and the that's why, too, it's like when it comes to foster care. children, I have such a like a soft spot. for them because you'd be surprised, you. know, how the system just. >> really just misses handles children, you. know, consistently.

um and the people that they choose or. they allow to be foster care parents. because that's really, you know, I know. for me in my experience that was kind of. I think the the part that really kind of. messed me up in the childhood kind of. phase of it, you know, being so young, not having control over what I was. feeling, not understanding if what I was. feeling was right and was wrong. Um, and. that's why to to this day for me to be.

sexual with anybody or anything, even. though I'm such a sexual being when I'm. I'm tapped in, it has to be a. connection. >> Yeah. >> You know, even though I'm super like. people look at me and be like I'm super. s and I am, you know, like um it's part. of like the Scorpio and me like but at. the same time I'm so kind of. >> selective because of that, >> you know, kind of experience. you have. to be. Um, you know, especially in this. day and age. But I also think, didn't I.

see an interview where you talked about. like while you were in foster care, you. were also like sexually abused. >> Yeah. >> Like that's hurtful, too. And that can. affect that can also make people um. super sexual or withdraw sexually. >> So yeah, I was I was sexually assaulted. when I was a child um for the time that. I was in this particular um foster. situation. And um was it. >> I feel like that kind of made me too.

like the tough not so much in the like. the sexual stuff. Granted, like when it. comes to being sexual with anybody, I. have to have a connection with you. Like. it's not just, you know what I mean? And. it takes a lot to get me there. >> Yeah. Um, but it also made me like. the tough girl that I am, you know, where I'm just kind of I keep my, you. know, and and my tolerance and my. >> I don't know. It's kind of. >> You had to protect yourself at a young.

age. It was like, >> yes, that's what it is. I had So, the. way I am now, I'm like, so like I'll be. damned. And people call it crazy and. they call it whatever. I call it I just. dare you to with me just because I what. I couldn't do as a child for myself I'm. gonna do now. >> That just gave me goosebumps. So. >> you grew up to be the child the woman. that would have protected the little. girl that you were. >> I still Yeah. I feel like I owe that. little girl the protection that I. consistently on a day-to-day basis try. to give myself that protection.

>> Yeah. And that's really, you know, going. through something like that at a young. age cuz I also did too and I'm only. saying that to relate to you. I. understand the anger. I'm obsessed with. the song your husband wrote on your. behalf. >> No, >> it's so every time I listen to it, I. cry. >> Oh my god. >> It's one of those. Yes. It's. >> cuz it's really that it's like, you. know, you're innocent. You don't have no. idea. >> and when it happens, it's like you, you. know, no, as a child, you don't know how. to explain or you your innocence is. really taken from you.

>> Absolutely. And the feelings and the. thoughts and this and that is like, you. know, it's it's tough. It's not easy. Well, that creates anger, too. Like not. being able to speak up and not being. able to like say, "No, I don't want you. to do this to me." That also creates. anger. I grew up such an angry child. I. got kicked out of so many schools. >> Oh my god. Me, too. >> For fighting, [laughter]. for just I mean, I'm telling you. And. that and it stems from all of that. that's happened in your childhood. They. say that you can feel your mother's. emotions while you're while she's.

pregnant with you. >> Oh my god. Yeah. my son Sapphire who's. four. vibrant child like and and and very um. is it artic she but she knows how to. like articulate all her feelings and. such a like you know vibe but when I was. pregnant with her we were in me and my. ex-husband were in like real dieh hard. honeymoon phase. >> legend oh my god he is any little thing.

goes off. It's It's literally night and. day. And it's crazy cuz when I was. pregnant with him was when I was. tormented the most by my ex-husband. >> Like from the cheating to the. embarrassment to, you know, left to fend. for themselves after our house got. robbed while he's in a in a hotel. We're. just in the same house that got robbed. and I was there on ice tension. It was. just and I literally can see the. difference in my children from them too. just off of, you know, what my pregnancy.

age was and my phases of it. >> It's crazy. >> And he's a beautiful, happy child, don't. get me wrong. >> But when he is, you know, not getting. his way, the tantrums, the the. breakdowns he has, um, I definitely see. it. I'm like, "Oh, yeah. everything I. felt when I was pregnant, he took. >> he now walks with. And that that so it's. funny cuz every time he has those. moments, I try to like squeeze him and. hug him. >> And um.

>> just because I'm just like I I know what. I went through when I was a pregnant and. I just don't feel like it's his fault. >> Yeah. >> Why he is what he is. >> And what happened to you also wasn't. your fault either. >> Yeah. I just wish I would have known. better as far as like what I allowed. to happen because had I known my it. would affect my child now. >> Um I probably would have made a lot more. better decisions. >> Yeah. Well, unfortunately, we don't know. to make better decisions until we go. through situations that make us grow.

>> Because I'm like, had I known it really. would affected my child the way it does. now, >> oh my god, I pro it probably would have. been a lot easier to just walk away and. never look back than it was then, >> you know, cuz your children are a. different they give you a different type. of motive and like. >> Yeah. >> and reason and I'll be damn kind of. >> Yeah. >> you know, way to be. You're already such. a fierce human, so I could only imagine. how you are with your babies now, too. >> Oh my god. I'm like, I'm orange. jumpsuit. I dare you to [laughter] my.

kids. Like, don't play with me. >> So, circling back to your childhood, moving on from that horrible situation, I heard you say that your mom fought for. you, which is awesome because a lot of. women don't do that once their babies. get lost into into the um you know, system. And you also have how many. brothers and sisters? So, I have Okay. So, I have two sisters. One of them on. my Well, on my dad's side, I have two. sisters and. >> two brothers, right? >> Um, one of my sisters from my dad's. side, h my best friend. I'm so happy we.

found each other. We didn't grow up. together cuz my dad was, you know, playboy at his finest. >> Um, but later on in life, she found me. and it's like my best friend. Like, literally, I wish I had her all my life. But anyway, we're making up for it now. I have another sister that was adopted. and we don't know much about like her. whereabouts. >> Um, but I have my two brothers on my. dad's side and then on my mom's side I. have three sisters. >> So I have a cute number of brother and. sisters. Um, >> and they're like half you got like half. and and fullblooded.

>> Yeah, because all my sisters me and my. sisters only share mama. >> We all have different daddies. >> Gotcha. That's how my family is too. >> Yeah. So um. >> I feel like parents back in the day were. such players. >> Oh yeah. They lived in that um time of. just. >> free love. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And just do like we think we think. we do what we want wanted. It's like I. feel like we're the generational curse. breakers and we're breaking all the our. parents. >> you know. Yes. >> Yeah. So moving on from that, let's talk.

about your father's Dominican. >> and your I heard your mother was raised. by nuns. >> Yeah. >> Can we talk about that, too? >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, um, unfortunately, she got caught up in the system as well, taken away from, um, my grandfather, um, and put into the system and ended up. in like a all I wouldn't even say all. girl school. It was like a girl and boy. school, but it was school, you know, for. children, um, that nuns kind of raised.

them. And it wasn't the best experience. You would think, oh, none's holy place, but actually, >> no. especially everything that's coming. out about like terrible. My mom used to. tell the stories my mom tells me I I. won't even get personal on that just. because. >> um we recently just had like a. heartto-he heart on all the things she. went through and. >> it's. so sad how Yeah. Like I said like I just. have a soft base because they they have. these facilities for children and. children just aren't being treated.

properly. >> Yeah. So my mom had a really tough. upbringing, which is, you know, why I. understand, you know, her even more so now because as a teen, me and my mom used to clash so bad. [laughter]. >> Yeah, we're going through that right. now. But thankfully, it's not too rough. But I feel like everybody goes through. that with their mom. It's like you just. >> you don't they don't understand, you. don't understand them. >> Yeah. So, but now, you know, as time. goes on, like my mom opening up to me.

more makes me appreciate her more, understanding what she's been through. And then it makes me look at the things. that I've gone through and like, oh, it's actually not as bad as my mom. So, I have to and I also feel like where I. got my strength and and resilience from. definitely comes from her after hearing. what she's kind of had to go through. I. definitely know like. >> why I'm such a, you know, unbreakable. person is because of my mom. >> Um, but yeah, she did fight for us. Um, it wasn't easy. Um, I'm sure they It's. funny cuz they'll.

take kids from parents um won't take. kids from parents that deserve to be. taken care of and then the parents that. do ride for their kids, they they put. them through hell. So, that was kind of. my mom's scenario. But once she got us, we kind of, you know, life started to. kick in. My stepfather took over, you. know, and gave us such a beautiful life. Um, >> let's talk about that, though, because. your mom was in a halfway house. >> Yes. and fell in love and then fell in. love [laughter] with my my my dad. >> Um and yeah and he he gave us such like.

I said such a beautiful life. He was. such a great person. He had, you know, his life as well and his back his, you. know, backstory, but ultimately he kind. of, you know, fell in love with my mom. and, you know, you couldn't tell him. that we weren't his children and that's. how life, you know, kind of picked up. for us and, you know, he bought us our. first home and, you know, it was just it. was once things, you know, we got over. those unfortunate circumstances and my.

mom did the work meeting him, you know, that that. the universe just. >> and that union just literally set the. tone for my childhood to kind of. actually kind of settle in and be all. right and um. >> wasn't. >> I still dealt with a lot of things. though secretly from what happened to. me. >> So you I think I heard in another. interview that you said you never spoke. about it, right? >> No, because when I did I remember there. was a time I did um.

I was told it didn't happen. So. that is so hurtful though. >> Yeah. That's really. >> And it's funny because the sister that. told me it didn't happen is the sister I. don't talk to now. >> Yeah. >> And that was the sister that I thought. was like my nurturer because she kind of. did raise me when my mom was at home. >> You know, my mom worked a lot to provide. us everything. Yeah. >> Um that was the sister that kind of held. it down for us. But. >> right, >> you know, tables always turn and you.

eventually see who people are and that's. kind of where I'm at with that. She. might have gone through her own. So it. >> Yeah, she had a kid at a young age. Um, so I'm sure she had her, you know, own. stuff going on. But yeah, I was told it. didn't happen and, you know, I kind of. looked up and very was, how you said. that, respected this particular person. who was my sister. >> So, >> you know, you respect someone and they. tell you one thing, you kind of roll.

with it. And that's kind of how I took. it in. >> And I didn't speak about it for a long. time. >> That causes anger too in a child when. you feel like your voice isn't being. heard. So you you stuff that down. It's. called unresolved anger. >> Yeah. >> And it's like you to have to be that. young and deal with being told that it. wasn't true is extremely hurtful. And. that comes out in other ways also. >> Oh yeah. That's why I'm like I'm so. adamant on like. being.

the tough cookie that I am. I am. >> from then to now. I've definitely kind. of calmed it down because I'm just kind. of like you got this. Don't worry. People know now. They got the they got. the they get the message now, you know? So, I got a chance to wheel it back in, you know? But um yeah, that's kind of. why I just kind of been that girl to no. take no I got the label of being bad. crazy because I don't take no and I kind. of just I accept it. It just kind of is. what it is. And then people thinking I'm. crazy, believe it or not, helps me. because it's [laughter] kind of like,

you know, they they they how you say. that? Um they they know not to [ __ ] with. me. So that's kind of like selective. like unless they really really you know. like. >> Well, I'm your girl so I'm going to give. the I'm going to give it to you real. >> you had to step into your your uh. masculine energy. >> I've been in my masculine energy even. when I was married. [laughter]. >> Well, he's in my feminine energy, but. we'll get into that. >> I feel like I've never not had to be in. my masculine energy. >> Right. And and I talk about that a lot.

on this podcast because I too, and I'm. only saying this because I relate to you. so much, have been in my masculine. energy my entire life. And the only. person I'm in my feminine energy with is. my husband. And I promise you that when. >> it happens, you're going to be the. softest. You're going to be the softest. version of yourself. And you're going to. look back. >> I had that taste for like a second. >> and it it's beautiful. >> Yeah. But when it really happens and. it's. >> like when it's for like ever like a. breath of fresh air, right?

>> Yeah. You're going to look back and. you're going to be like, I never want to. be in my masculine energy again. I want. to be. >> Oh, yeah. No. To have to be in your soft. era and then have to jump back in. >> That's what's not talked about a lot. >> Yeah. Absolutely. No, that's extremely. traumatizing. >> Oh my god. [laughter]. >> To have to go back. >> And it's hard to let it go. >> cuz you're like, I loved it there. Yeah. Like why did you take this from me? >> Like why? You could have just left me. the alone.

>> Like you gave me a taste of what I. deserve and then to pull it underneath. me to have to and then to have to be. masculine times 20 or 100 than you've. ever been before. >> Yeah. >> No, I feel you, baby. I And and we're. going to get into that. I promise. We're. just building this story. So we have to. build it. So going back to your stepdad, he pretty much came in made life so. great. And then when do you start like. you know thinking like okay you know. what I want to be a star?

>> I feel like I always kind of like loved. music and I used to watch um Westside. Story over and over and over again once. my mom put me onto it. It was one of my. favorite go-to movies and I would sit. and watch it and sing and dance and. >> um I was obsessed with Rita Morano. >> and I don't know I just felt like I. always loved that whole. >> vibe. Yeah. Like it was just always me.

to sing and dance and I was always in. the mirror and like you know it was just. something that I just just it was just. within me. It wasn't even like something. I was introduced to. I've just and I. would watch musicals all day long. I. just was obsessed with them. >> And um once I started, you know, >> what in my early pre-teens, music videos. started to become a thing. >> Mhm. >> Like for real, for real. >> Back in the day, video vixens were like. the it thing to be. >> Yeah. Like Janet Jackson, That's the Way. Love Goes was like one of my favorite.

go-to videos to watch because she had. like a variety of all these beautiful. women. Um, and J Jennifer Lopez was one. of them. Not even known at that time, but you know, one of the like you just. see like all these women vibing out and. dancing and just being the I don't know, it was just like a era. But that whole. like music video phase kind of drew me. in even more. >> And then, you know, um, growing up in. New York, the castings of music videos. and things like that were like at an. all-time high. I actually have a cousin.

named Marissa. She used to be um married. to David Alenria. >> So [clears throat] we had our fair share. sometimes too of going to see um Living. Color or him perform certain things, you. know, and. >> she was managing him at one point. And I. remember like reaching out to her one. time, I think 15, 14, and I was like, how do I oh I want to be that. I didn't. know what it was. I just want to do. that. and [laughter]. and um having a conversation with her.

She was just like, "If you're really. serious, you know, go check out. Backstage." And that was a newspaper at. the time. >> that she would get at the corner at the. um you know, like the little um. newspaper stands, music magazine stands. that sold candy and all that stuff. >> So, I would like get off the bus or get. off the train and get my um you know, backstage. And I eventually just like. one day was like, "You know what? I'm. going to start going out on castings and. auditions. And it just kind of took it.

from there. And um I would go skip. school, go on these castings. Before you. knew it, I got, you know, casted for a. music video. And then it just kind of. >> Which one was the first one? >> Um the first one ever was um All Stars. >> It was a music video with this group. called I want to say it was All Stars. >> Can we find that maybe? >> And the crazy thing about it. >> is it online? It's featuring um it had. Nicki Minaj. Wow. Early Prime. Wow. Um.

[laughter]. type in All Stars Nicki Minaj and see if. that comes up. Well, isn't that crazy. how life is so full circle? >> So full circle because. >> the individual I married later on in. life was in it, too. They had like a. group. Yeah. That was my first music. video ever. That's the red string. >> And if you are able to pull it up, it's. so grainy and so like cuz this was so.

long ago. >> Yeah. But how crazy is that? That's like. the red string theory that he was in. that video with her and you were in it. Also, >> life literally comes full circle. >> That is nuts. >> Weird. >> Yeah. So weird. >> Let's [laughter] see. Let's see if we. can find it. >> All stars. >> I I when we we wrap this up, I feel like. I can find it. putting Nicki Minaj all. stars video. >> Well, I was a I was a vixen in the. video. I was like a random, you know, >> video girl. That was my first video.

Then came Stop, Won't Stop. Young Guns, which was Rockefeller. >> And um from there, >> all the New York. >> all the New York Rockefeller was like. huge. >> Oh my god. Yes. Young Guns Can't Stop. Won't Stop. And I remember because it. was one of the it actually became one of. those videos that were on all the. countdown. So I would be at school and. people would be coming from, you know, to school like, I seen you in the video. 106 at Park and D. And it was just like, it was a cool feeling. And then, yeah,

it just kind of took on a life of its. own. I got a taste of what it was like. to see myself on TV. I got a taste of, you know, to see how things moved, you. know, behind the scenes and what they. were looking for, how you needed to. look, what how what how you needed to. move, who you needed to be. Um, and as. young as I was, I was picking up. everything. No guidance, no, you know, manager, no nothing. I would like speak. on behalf of myself. Um, and just, you. know, just kind of just maneuvered. And. before you knew it, I was like the lead.

girl in music videos. And then I started. doing, you know, publications from like. double XXL, Eye Candy to um, >> this was all huge in the '9s. This is. like the '9s, right? 90s and 2000s. >> 20s. Yeah. Late 90s. Yeah. >> Late 90s. Yeah. [clears throat]. >> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, >> we're showing our age here, Erica. >> I know. [laughter] I was like, wait, is. it 90s? Yikes. >> Like late. >> baby. I was literally a I one of the. videos I was. >> I was 17 in 97. >> I don't even think I was born in what,

87. So, yeah, like [clears throat] I. Yeah, I remember one of the videos I did. I was like 15. >> Wow, that's crazy. That that would never. fly nowadays. Well, back then you they. didn't do all the paperwork and stuff. like that and they paid you cash, >> you know. >> Well, it's because weird was kind of. happening behind the scenes sometimes. >> It was in the early stages of just the. whole, you know, how things would get. done. Like there was no real process, you know. Um they would cast you and.

then, you know, >> that's about it. You kind of get your. $200 $300 and, >> you know, get sent home and you'll be. there all day. Like I went through it. all. But I'm I'm really blessed though. in that even though I was so young, I. wasn't dumb. And I will say this, my. childhood traumatic experience saved me. a lot from getting caught up in, you. know, a lot of women do get. >> lured in in these environments to have. to do X Y and Z to be in these positions.

where you can be on, you know, in these. videos and stuff like that. And I feel. like my traumatic experience definitely. saved me from like knowing better and. just like I would never because of what. went what I went through. I know what it. felt like to be touched and you know. >> not. and I would never like I would refuse to. like. >> feel that way again under my with it. being in my control I would say. So. yeah, it it like unfortunate situation, but it definitely prepared me and had me.

prepared. >> to kind of maneuver in those spaces. being as young as I was. >> That's that was an example of you taking. your power back. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. And I also knew like what I wanted. to do. So I was just like I you're. you're going to respect me and it's not. for that, right? >> You know. >> Absolutely. When I got into work, that. was my way of taking my power back. It. was indirectly like you can't touch me. unless you pay me, you know. So, it was. like a it was a weird healing um yeah,

you know, situation, but we all a lot of. us victims um. >> I I don't like using that word. A lot of. us survivors. >> um you know, we take our power back in. different ways and it could be something. just like what you did, just saying. like, you know what, I'm not going to, you know, we're not shaming the other. girls who have done it, but we're not. going to be. >> No, totally get that. >> It is. It's it's one of those things. like everyone has their own way of like. dealing with what has had happened to. them and then how to progress with it, you know?

>> Absolutely. Can we bring up a couple of. these videos so we can see young Erica? >> It's so funny. [laughter]. >> I I got a few. >> Do you got young Oh god, that's Oh, I. can't wait to dive into that. Oh, I. can't wait to dive into that. [laughter]. Oh yeah, we got We're ready, baby. We're. ready. >> Let's go. This was okay. This video. >> you were in Candy Shot. >> I didn't know that. >> Yes. >> I love that. I used to dance to this. >> This is 18year-old Mena.

>> But you always You still look the same. >> You think so? >> Yeah. this one because for me there was. so many beautiful women on set and the. fact that I was picked to kind of have. that like one-on-one moment when you're. in the video world and you start from. like okay. >> kind of being a little bit of an extra. to like main girl you know status it's. like an accomplishment when you get to. kind of deal with the artist 101 that's. why the Chris Brown video it was like oh. my god now that's movies like I made it. >> how was it meeting Chris Brown it was.

his early like years of, you know, child. So, and I remember cuz um I used. to smoke black and milds back then. >> Oh god. I think everybody went through a. Black and Miles phase. >> and I remember him seeing me off camera. smoke one and he would not let it go. >> He was just so This is like baby Chris. Brown. >> Yeah. >> So he was like, "Ew, you've smoked. cigarettes. You smoke." and he would not. let it go that he even made a comment.

about it on like making the video and. swear to this day people swear like like. I had like some type of bad breath but. it was him talking about me like smoking. and you could [laughter] smell the smoke. like you know so it's funny I see when. every time I see him I'm like you have. to clear the air on that that you were. literally getting like making fun of me. for being a black and mild smoker cuz he. was fresh he was like you know baby. wasn't smoking wasn't doing anything. And um yeah, but that video was my.

favorite. I remember um my best friend. at the time, me and her were up for the. part. >> Yeah. >> And it was, you know, I felt bad, but I. was like, I want it. So, I made sure to. outdo her and I got the part. >> Yeah. I mean, this is this is your. career that we're talking about. >> I had that Michael Jackson video. What's. that video where he go walks down the. street? Um. >> uh the way you make me feel. Is it that. one? >> Yes. The way you make me feel. Okay. So, I had that video in mind and I remember. that woman just being so like poised and. badass. So, when I did the audition and.

it was Eric White who was um who. directed this video, I made sure that. whole video was just playing in my head. over and over. So, in audition like with. my friend there, I made sure to outdo. her. >> We're not friends anymore so I can talk. the truth about it. >> Yeah, but I mean you're not even saying. >> I made sure to outdo you, sweetie. [laughter]. Um, but yeah, >> but to be 17, 16, 17 doing these types. of videos, that's insane. Like that's a. lore. Like this is history right here. >> Yeah. No, it's it's I have a lot to tell. my mom. I mean, my my daughter.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Literally. >> fire. Mommy has a book to tell you. >> But unless you've lived through this. era, you don't understand it. And it's. hard for people to respect it. But this. is like this is really. >> Videos aren't like the go-to thing. anymore. >> No. And people This was such a cool era. I wish we could go back to this because. this is. >> that's the girl actually. She ended up. being casted for the friend. >> A. >> her name's Narisha. [laughter]. >> I love it. But I mean this is like this. is such a cool lore and this just goes. um I just want to show everybody how. independent you were before even this.

marriage that has made so many headlines. and you know cuz I see people say things. and I'm just like do they realize who. Erica was before she got with this man? And I think because I've been around for. so long. >> and then came this era and then came. Love and Hip Hop. And then when I did. Love and Hip Hop, well, I was on there. for like 15 years easy. >> Um, I went through the different phases. like and and I'm. >> I'm I went through the whole era of. like, okay, not understanding how. reality TV works to, okay, now I need to.

get. the audience to tap into me. Even though. producers were still set on me being. narrated this way that brought in. ratings, it took a a a while for people. to kind of like, okay, see me as a. person. And I still feel like they don't. see me as a person cuz they're so used. to me being the villain, right? >> You know, for a long time I was okay. with going in, tearing, saying whatever, telling, you know, letting doing. whatever they wanted me to do until.

finally I was like, this is not who I. want to be forever. I want to do movies. and I want to do and I would go out for. auditions for movies but because people. have this set you know narrative on me. casting people it was hard for people to. cast me. So then I'm like okay I have to. do something that over time and and and. >> and even though it was like I was one. I'm one week hated one week loved and it. goes back and forth and it fluctuates. one thing's for certain is people watch. for me. Absolutely. you know, cuz I I.

bring it whether it's um put together. story by production or it's my real. life. >> What did you say to me earlier? Talk. your [laughter]. >> So, it's like yeah, I've been able to. kind of like people whether they hate me. or love me or whatever, they gravitate, they watch. Um. >> so over time, I'm just like, you know. what? Like I. >> I want people to kind of know who I am. I'll still give you guys what you need, but I want people to start knowing. That's why too, you'll see the shift if.

you see the years of loving hip hop. How. was this. about it about it, you know, going off. on whoever I will say whatever and and. read a filth? No, no, no. Um, which I. love that. Erica, pop the queen for. sure. >> I would have like no remorse and then. after a while I'm just like, okay, I'm. done being that girl. like and you could. you will see the shift if you really. watch. >> that early love and hip hop phase to. like okay as time went on you'll see how.

things change and it was because I was. just so sick of people just thinking I. was just this mean crazy no reason. It's. like I had to do my job and I did it and. now it's like okay people still want me. um so let's show them who I am. Yeah. So. for a while it and even with that like I. would be real deal myself and production. would nar like edit things to be the way. they wanted to be. That's why with my.

lesbian relationship it was like yeah. I'm like [laughter]. >> this is the real deal and then next. thing you know it's like they're eding. it up like this completely innocent and. it's like damn. We're going to hop into. that relationship with Sin, too. But I. want to talk about another relationship. before all the Love and Hip Hop stuff. because you actually met your first baby. daddy Raul who was part of the rest. I. know he was part of the Terror Squad. Take me on that journey with you guys. >> Um, I met him at the Nina Sky video,

Move Your Body. Um, and I was brought in by, you know, production to be on set where he was. already on set. And I remember him. telling me the story. I had this black. dress. Remember the era of like that. draping kind of thing. >> I actually still love those dresses. >> Yeah. Well, I had one of those dresses. on set. And um he said he this is the. story that he tells me and it's it and.

lives rentree in my head forever. But um. he's like as soon as they brought you in. the room I seen you and I looked down at. your stomach and I was just like damn. this going to have my baby. [laughter]. >> Oh my goodness. >> He was like your your stomach was so. sexy. He was just like I just felt like. you were going to have my baby. And he. was like that's why and it's funny cuz. they asked him when I they brought in a. couple of girls like who who he wanted. standing next to him and he picked me. and as soon as I you know got next to.

him he took off his teras chain put it. on my neck and it just draped right. there on top of my stomach. >> and from there it was like history. Oh, and then he like I remember once he can. put on the chain, he put his arm around. me, passes me his phone, and he goes, "Put your number in.". >> A. >> So that was the romantic way of getting. with my first baby daddy. But that was. the kind of man I was like always. attracted to. Like a man that's just.

like assertive, like boss, like not with. the extra like. >> you know, let's get straight to the. point. I'm one of those women like if. you want to fall in love in 3 days, let's do it. but really fall in love. like I'm down. So anyway, he he pulled. that mesh emerged souls. >> Yeah. Like okay, like you see me, you. want me, you're. saw me, he he knew he wanted me and. Yeah. And um. >> we were unseparable after that. I felt. like two days later.

>> Um I was 18 when I met him. >> Um. yeah, I was young. You're a baby, but. you were, you know, of age, so you. that's fine. Um, so you ended up having. Raul's baby. Yes. Take me on this. journey of being a video vixen and. getting pregnant. Like, how do you I. >> Oh, I hid my first pregnancy. >> I hid. >> How How did you do that? >> You know why? Cuz, okay, not saying I don't love my kids. I'm so.

obsessed with my kids. But I never. wanted kids. >> Yeah, that's there's nothing wrong with. that. I've never wanted kids either, and. I have one right here. I I never. [laughter]. wanted kids. >> I think seeing my my my sisters struggle. um to provide and and all of that just. wasn't my thing. >> Yeah. >> It just wasn't I I just saw it as like, okay, this is great for you guys, but. it's not for me. >> And I used to walk around with this. whole me mentality of like, if I was. stupid enough to get pregnant, I'm gonna.

be smart enough to keep my baby. So. therefore, I will never be stupid enough. to get pregnant, >> right? And then before you know it, me and Ro. was having our time of our lives, living. it up. You know, I was hanging out with. him during the stages of BMF being, you. know, in Miami and running the streets. DJ Khaled was still DJing at the clubs. >> I actually had uh Tonisa Welch on the. podcast and she's uh she was the first. lady of BMF. >> Yeah. So like I was around during that. that era. >> What a great era. What a time to money.

was everywhere. I feel like it showed me. too like okay like be about your get. your money you could live a good life. and you know that's kind of where I was. aiming that's where I was so when I. found out and I found out I was pregnant. like six months pregnant I had no idea I. was 6 months living my best life wasn't. showing no symptoms um still getting my. period. >> and you're already so tiny like. >> I was even more tiny before then because. I didn't have my breast implants nothing. I was like so young Um,

and yeah, I found out I was pregnant and. I it I was actually depressed. I didn't. want to I didn't want a baby. >> Well, I mean, you were you were a baby. having a baby. >> Yeah. I didn't And I And I hid and I hid. and I just I had to gather myself in the. sense of like, okay, like this is what. it is. How do I do this? Um, I more so spent the time being pregnant. with my first pregnancy coming to terms. with, okay,

this is what it is. >> and being okay with that, >> right? >> But once King was born, I was like, okay, I'm okay with this. >> A, you fell in love with them. >> I fell madly in love with him. [music] I. breastfed. I took pride in that. Um, and. because I hid my whole pregnancy too, for me it was more so like I got a. chance to just dive in to like, okay, this is what it is. Um, you're going to. have to do whatever it takes, you know,

to to give this person the best life. possible. >> And I didn't know how I was going to do. that, but I knew I was going to do. whatever it took to do that, >> right? >> And um, >> how did you guys come up with his name? >> He named him. >> A. >> He named him. >> That makes it even more special. >> Yeah, he named him. He I I was like one. day I was like do you want to name him. Raul? And like you know like as cuz I. didn't I like I said I was still coming. to terms with me being pregnant. So the. whole naming thing you know was like I. didn't know I didn't want that.

responsibility but at the same time I. was like giving suggestions and then one. day he was like we're going to name him. king. And I was like what really? He's. like yeah I just love the idea of like a. woman going up to him and like asking. him his name and he just says her I'm. king. >> Yeah. He's like. >> and he was Ra was so into God and about. God and you know stuff like that that. you know he would always say you know. God is king is God God. So I think. that's kind of where his his drive with. that came from. >> Yeah. >> Um and I was I was fine with that. I was.

like king actually that's and then when. I thought about the you know how he. broke it down like yeah imagine like if. I was a woman walking up to a guy he's. fly and turns around asks him the name's. king I'm sold. And back but back then. too that name wasn't very popular. >> It wasn't it wasn't. Um I think Kingston. Gwen Stefani had named her son Kingston. around that time. I remember that. vaguely cuz when she announced it I'm. like she took our name. [laughter]. >> But he's like no it's King. So yeah so.

he named him. Um and yeah and it was it. it King changed my life completely. I he. made me the ultimate hustler. Mhm. >> Um he made me realize that even more so. than I did before feel like I had the. like I I needed to make for me. >> because you know stealing baby formula. and pampers and all that was not the. life I wanted to live but it was what I. had to do at some points and um.

>> it was just like okay I I can't and it's. it's crazy because still to this day. like people will be like where is queen. why she never show him. and um so on so forth, but it's like he. was born and I did everything I could to. provide for him. So um when I finally. got the call to kind of do Love and Hip. Hop, >> I was living in LA at the time. >> King was like seven, six, seven.

>> Um Love and Hip Hop in New York was in. New York. I was living in LA. >> and I made my mom retire. >> so that I can have the peace of mind. Obviously, me going through what I went. through as a child, I was like, I'm not. leaving my kid with just anybody. >> Yeah. >> So, the next best thing was make my mom. stop working and take on the. responsibility of not only taking care. of a kid but my mama so that I can have. peace of mind. >> Yeah. >> And go out and make happen for us so. that this way we can have. So, I did.

have to sacrifice a lot of time, but it. wasn't until he was like six, seven. I. was with King dugging it, you know. Well, you were you were already doing. some TV stuff because Raul had was best. friends with. >> Yeah. He set us up to do Dash Miami and. King was like what, three, four? He was. he was in a snippet of it, too. >> Yeah. >> Um he was like two, three. He was. walking around. He was so small, so. tiny. But yeah, I was he was putting me. and one thing I will say regardless to. what um and our relationship at one.

point was so like h it was it was toxic. >> That was my next question cuz you guys. >> it was toxic cuz it was more controlling. like he really just. >> he saw me as being for him and only for. him. And as time grew I was like I want. more out of life. Like I love you but I. want more and I. >> like. >> was he staying in this was he a lot. older than you? Okay. How how older how. much older? um by a couple of years. [laughter] Okay. [gasps].

Um but I will say this, like even though. the times that he made things difficult. for me, he was always a dad. >> Yeah. >> He loved his kids. And even in the times. where he didn't have much, he still made. it happen. So like with King with with. Raul, I never ever had to think for one. second to ever put him on child support. or anything like that because he just. was always like he was just a real one. when it came to the kids. He just made.

things difficult for me at times. >> Well, yeah. But but even with that being. said, he put me in position for a lot of. things that I'm able to do now. Like. reality TV, he was the one who kind of. set that play up. Um him being good. friends with Scott Dick. Um, he. introduced me to Courtney and every time. they would come to Miami, we would hang. out with them. So, I eventually built, you know, a rapport with her. Yeah. So, when she started to cast for Dash, >> she, you know, asked about me and and Ra. was like, "Absolutely." He actually was.

the one who made Jesse Terrarero put me. in Candy Shop. >> And this is around the time that Fat Joe. and 50 Cent had their rival, but he was. like, "My girl, cuz he knew Jesse was. casting for that." And he was like, "You. know, Erica will be banging for that.". like you need to have, you know, a. Latina in there. Stop playing. And and. Jesse was like, "You sure? Like, aren't. you at war?" He was like, "Joe's at. [clears throat] war." Not like they. ain't got nothing to do with my girl. So, he put me in position for that. >> That's amazing. >> I was casted for that. Yeah. No, like.

Raul like even though we had our toxic. times and it was real bad, girl. Like. real bad. Like physical bad like. whatever we could do to each other, hurt. each other, we were doing at one point. And it's not something I, you know, I'm. happy about, but it's the truth. And but. even still, he didn't he knew I was the. mother of his child. So he didn't. do. anything to stop me from flourishing to. be able to be the best that I could be.

>> Amazing. That's a real man. >> Yeah. >> Like regardless of how he felt, like he. at one point he had like a real. possessive kind of mentality when it. came to me. Yeah. >> Which. >> I look back at it now, I'm like, you. know, >> kind of hot. It's very hot. [laughter]. Um, but I was young and I I also was. like, uh, no, let me be. I want to go. I. want to because I also knew like. there was more for me. Yeah. you know, and he was very set in how he did things. and how he was as a man,

>> you know, like I used to get on him all. the time because he used to he would. bring money to everybody like put these. business plays from Fat Joe to Khaled. to, you know, Jesse Terrell to all the. these big people that now are doing so. extremely well for themselves. He would. set up these plays for them and would. never ask for any type of like business. percentage from deals he locked in and. and no none of them would ever look back. and be like, "Hey, you set this up here.

Feed your family." So, I was, you know, as his woman sitting around seeing this. man look out for everybody and and you. see the other wives, you know, living it. good and and we're here kind of like. struggling and penny pitching. And after. a while, it just it just didn't sit well. for me. and I would bring it to his. intention and it would just. >> be a bicker and his thing was you know. like you know this is what I do. This is. who I am and and that was great for him. but for me it was like as your woman I. can't sit up here penny pinching while.

you're doing all of this everyone's. eating and we're just barely making it. >> Yeah. >> Um also as his his other half you you. want to bring that to attention because. you want to be like hey baby like you. deserve this too. till up until he passed. I feel like. that was always our conversations. >> because he's he was always. >> the power play. And it's funny because. at one point he came out with his own. water. >> and he brought it to Joe's attention. like let's do our own water blah blah. blah blah. And.

it's safe to say Fat Joe downplayed all. of Raul's great ideas, but over the. years who had their own water. 50 Cent. came out with his own vitamin water. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's like all these great ideas that he. would bring to Fat Joe and he would. downplay it or turn his turn his cheek. and you know, like he was such a. brilliant man with all these great. ideas. He just wasn't he was respected. when it came time to protect everybody. and you know do the street and stuff.

like that and when he was bringing money. to the table but never looked at and. like you know acknowledged for the other. great things that he was you know trying. to make happen. So I think that was just. like as much as I like wanted to stug it. out and stick with him on it. I just I. just knew like, okay, you're okay with. this and this lifestyle and this living. and being, >> you know, >> yeah, >> leveled with all of this. I can't like I.

like. >> the way these other individuals are. living, I deserve to live like that, too. And that kind of was the reasoning. for me kind of. >> like breaking things off. Um, but it. wasn't easy because he was not letting. me go for. >> Yeah. while. But he still put me in. position. Yeah. >> I owe that man so much. >> Um, I like, you know, from the music. videos to bringing me into reality TV. I. got a taste of it. I got a chance to see.

how it works, what it was, and how they. do things. And just seeing like how the. Kardashians are able to turn anything. with their name on it into bucks and. stuff like that. like getting a taste of. that with him putting me in position to. do that and be that, >> you know, set it off for me. It was. everything I needed to know. It was like. kind of like a little blueprint. >> So that man, you know, we we had our. toxic times and it was ugly. And there. was one point um I went viral after I. got on Love & Hip Hop because of an.

altercation I had with him um outside of. a nightclub um which was you know gets. brought up a lot and but people don't. understand the backstory of that but. it's fine. Um, but even with that being. the case, he still. did right by me because I was his kid's. mother. And you know, for that, I just I. got to give him the ultimate respect. >> How are you dealing with his death? >> Um, I don't think you could ever deal.

with it. >> Mhm. Um, I didn't think I was. Um, you push so. much down, Erica, that that's why. whenever moments like this happen, it. comes to you because you don't you push. so much down. You're so trying to be the. tough person, you know? So, it's like. it's um. >> it's the heartbreak. It's okay to hurt.

that I got to watch my baby go through. it and I can't do anything about that. cuz I can't ever take that away. It was so unexpected, too. >> Mhm. It was his best friend, my kid's. best friend, and they had a relationship. that was just so. I actually wish I had that type of Thank. you. that type of relationship with one.

of my parents. I guess you could say I. kind of had it with my stepfather, but. um. to see your kid heartbroken. and as a mom you really can't do. anything about it. is like the hard part. and then. realizing. >> that now I'm really a single mom.

>> because he was like a dad. for him and. >> the other situation I feel like [snorts]. is whatever I think I've been a single. mom from the beginning right. >> but now I'm for real single Mom, >> you almost don't realize how much he. weight he pulled with you until he's not. there anymore. Yeah, because um when I. couldn't be there because of my work.

schedule and things like that, he pulled. rank and he showed up and he he he did. what he had to do. >> Were him and King close, >> huh? >> Were him and King close? >> Extremely. >> Yeah. Extremely close. And it's funny. because over the years me and him became. extremely close, too. He would talk he would he would talk to. me and and like like what do you see in. this like look how fast you left me. because you wanted better. What is it. with this? This is not even your type.

This is not even of your level. Like you. know why I picked you? You know why I. picked you? Cuz I saw greatness in you. >> You know why he picked you? Because he. wants to take your greatness. and he. would have these conversations with me. and and they would resonate and those. and and our conversations mean his. conversations will be those times where. I would have the I would build that. strength and then I'll be like okay. never again and then. you know. >> he was like your best friend.

>> again. Yeah. But he would remind me of. who I was a lot. Like do you do you know. who you are? Did you forget who you are? Like look how fast you left me and you. didn't look back and look what happened. Like what is it with this clown or. whatever the wanted to call him at the. moment. What is it with him? Like why. why are you letting this situation. especially when I was going through. postpartum really bad after I had.

Legend. >> Yeah. >> He would come over, bring me food, open the shades. [laughter]. like what are you like what are you. doing e like did you did you forget who. the [ __ ] you are he's like like you know. snap out of it. >> and then you know it's funny cuz the. babies loved him they called him uncle. Raul. >> so we had a relationship it was great. you know um the only thing he was just. so soft with King.

>> would get away with everything and that. would be our. bicker if there was any like you have to. let like you can't let him run you. You. can't let him tell you what to do and. this and that. I'm like, you have to be. the dad. And he's like, oh, you know, like he just had this softness with with. King that King could get away with. anything, could tell him anything, >> whatever. But he was the best dad. And. then over time, he just became one of my. >> confidants. >> Confidants. No other. We spent.

Thanksgiving together, >> you know, at times. We did New Year's. Eve together. like him, the babies, King. and Raul and the family and you know. that was that was it. >> Yeah. >> You know, >> um. >> I'm so sorry that you guys have to go. through that. That like it breaks my. heart to see you hurt so bad. >> It's hard to just know that King's still. hurting. >> and probably will be hurting for some. time. Yeah. You know. >> Yeah. Losing a parent is rough. I. couldn't even imagine at that age. losing.

>> Yeah. And then, you know, King. and him had plans to, you know, do things together like, you. know, moving him into his dorm room. >> for college and things like that. And. um, >> how is your relationship with King now? Cuz I know you. >> It's gotten better. We We've had our. moments. I feel like because King for a. for a little bit, he doesn't like the. limelight. Mhm. >> So, you know, me being famous and stuff.

like that, like once he became vocal, like he didn't want to be on TV and. social media cuz any real fan of mine. knows like me and King used to have the. best snaps back in the day. And King is. so smart that we used to we used to end. up on blogs because this is the. beginning phases of like social media. and stuff, but um Snap was big for us. and we would sit and have these. conversations and as a kid he was so. into like global warming and modern day. feminism and.

>> sounds like this one over here. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> They're just so smart. Like I could. never. >> Yeah. [laughter] So we would sit and. just have these conversations on Snap. and people would just be so blown away. about how smart he is and this that and. third and he finally started going to. school and um where kids were a little. bit older and parents, you know, are. tuned into Love and Hip Hop. >> and that attention just started to. really get to him and affect him. And. there was one time he went to the. library and a group of parents just kind. of like forced him to take pictures and.

that just kind of traumatized him for. the rest. >> like that to this day to get King to go. out with me somewhere. >> Um I have to promise him that I'm not. taking pictures. >> Oh, I understand that. We deal with that. in our family, too. So, I get that. >> He hates it. He He doesn't like it at. all. He's very He's super introvert. He's like not with any. So for a while. it was just like why do you have to be. famous? I hate this like you know like.

so we went through that with Bailey too. It's. >> Yeah. Like. >> it's rough on kids. >> Yeah. And it's not even cuz he was never. bullied or anything about it. It was. just the fact that. >> it's a life they didn't ask for. >> Yeah. It's like why are they in our like. why do they want to take like I hate. this. Like why? So for a little bit he. dealt with that. And then also too, um, when I started loving hip hop, I had to. fly out every Sunday from LAX redeye to.

make it Monday, >> right? >> To fly back out Friday redeyed so I can. have um, Friday, well, Saturday morning. to Sunday. So I only have like a day and. a half with him when I started doing. Love and Hip Hop. So I missed out on a. lot. You get a lot of. >> Oh my god. And I to me and you know everybody has. their own situations that are going on. and you had your own trauma that you're. dealing with especially at that age. >> Um.

since when do we start shaming moms for. having to work? >> Yeah. I don't that's I don't understand. >> cuz I already have the guilt of like. knowing I'm going to miss football, I'm. going to miss parent teacher. I'm going. to miss you know just making him lunch. every day or whatever. Like that guilt. will just never go away. And just the. little things like even now with the. little guys I'm like I bring them to set. with me because I'm so scared of missing. something. >> you know I don't I already walk with. that like.

>> resentment to with myself. >> guilt. >> and guilt cuz I'm like. >> missed out on so much with him but at. the same time King had stability he had. structure. I go through it a lot. Like I. feel like especially with the little. ones, I I think back like damn like this. is what I missed with King. And so. anyway, with that being said, I had. nothing when I had King. >> Yeah. Like Raul did what he could,

>> but for myself, I had nothing. >> Yeah. like in order to have rent be. paid, in order to stop stealing what the. I needed to survive, in order to provide. food and all of that, I I really had. nothing. >> Yeah. >> So, when I got the opportunity to do. Love and Hip Hop, it was a lot. Like, even for me, can you imagine like. working all and I remember I had to like. stay with my sister for the weeks, the. days during the week that I was filming. for Love & Hip Hop. Yeah. who was still.

living in New York and then fly back and. then literally be home but. >> this long to go back on that six damn. hour flight. But it was an opportunity. for me to get out there. >> to for me to get paid even though they. wasn't paying me much at that time but. it was something. >> Yeah. >> And um. >> it also gave me an opportunity to give. King what he needed. >> You know, not having. >> Yeah. you were literally working.

at the bottom to provide what he needed. and and and just making it and I was. okay with that because I was able to. pull it off. And then you got to. remember too, I also had my mom. >> that I had to take care of too. >> Yes. Well, people make it sound like you. just were out partying and like living a. life and they don't even realize that. like the parents every day make. sacrifices for their kids, you know, and. you were doing what you had to do at. that time to make money. Did you miss. out on his life a lot? Yes, but now look. at the life that you have provided. And.

and I will say that like I I missed out. on a lot, but he. >> turned out to be such a beautiful. >> soul. He is so like intelligent. He has. accomplished so much. He's 17 and in. college right now. >> Yeah. >> As we speak. Like I I can't even. complain. Like that's why now like. before it used to bother me and I used. to sit there and like explain myself but. now it's like I feel like it's a little. bit weird and freaky and and kind of.

>> like now I look at people who inquire. and stress this whole where is he why. she's never posted like you are weird to. be stressing about a child's whereabouts. especially a child that. >> is doing well for himself. Yes. at such. a young age for him to graduate high. school and already be in college at 17. and already have his career like he. wants to do um cyber he wants to work in. cyber security and he's adamant on like. being in that field no matter what it. takes you know like and it's not.

industry it's not and he has the private. life that him and his his dad even. though his dad was known his dad likes. his privacy as well so he gets that. trait from his dad and he he has. everything he wants and more. You know, it's just unfortunate now he doesn't. have his best friend, you know. >> Um but even with that being said, he's. doing the work to get through it by, you. know, now he's in college. He's, you.

know, sourced out his own therapist and, you know, things like that to kind of, you know, start his life and and being a. grown. >> Yeah. >> you know, person. And he does a great. job at it. And now I feel like he's. accepted me being the famous. family. >> Well, it takes him grow them growing up. a little bit too. >> And and now it's like it's funny cuz now. that he's in college, we talk more now. that he's in college than we have. >> ever. Well, when he was a kid, he used.

to blow me up. >> Um but then he [laughter] got into like. pre-teen and then it was like my mom's. famous e and then um but now he's in. college and we talk all the time. Like. we literally are on the phone for hours. that I got to tell him like, "King, I. got to put the baby to sleep. I'll call. you tomorrow." And and even that is so. hard because it's like your baby wants. to talk to you and stay on the phone. with you and you're like, "Fuck, I got. to go. I got to go cuz I have the other. ones." But and then the babies are. obsessed with him. Sapphire is like in.

love with her brother, >> you know, talks about him all day long. And it's funny because he doesn't like. pictures, but with her he'll sit on her. like she will turn her iPad and. >> with her he'll take pictures, but. pictures with anybody else like he runs. from the camera. So s anytime we want. like an updated photo of King, we go to. Sapphire's iPad cuz you know when. they're there like you know I love. >> So yeah, it it's come full circle our. our relationship and then any parent who. has a teenager knows like teenage years.

they they suck. I love being a mom, but. like like and I'm thinking already about. it when it comes to the two the two that. I have now. I'm like I do not want to go. through those things. The teenage years. are so hard. >> You're going to have two of them at the. same time. >> Exactly. And I got the boy and the girl. and it's it's it's going to be so. interesting to see how I pull that off. But um teenage years are so hard and. then in then this generation and then. the way school is made up how you know. kids are forced to have to talk about.

conver like subjects that kids shouldn't. be having to talk about. >> the kids now the some of the stuff. >> sexual preferences and you know Tom. wants to become Sally and all of that. stuff is fine but it's like that's not. what I have in my household. So for them. to have this upbringing and then put. them into a school that or schools in. general or the outside world cuz one. thing I've learned is that these kids. learn more from other kids than they do. their teachers. Sometimes it throws. things off. >> Yeah. >> And then they come back from school, you. know, you lie to me or why is this? And.

then it's like you don't you're not. prepared for these conversations yet. because they're not at the age where you. should be preparing for them. >> My husband um always says this quote. He. says, "The worst thing you can do for a. child is a parent that has an unlived. life.". >> Yeah. >> Because, you know, if you're just going. to sit at home with your kid and not. pursue your dreams, what is that. teaching your children? >> Yeah. >> You know, and now look at your baby. He's in college pursuing his dreams. because. >> Yeah. >> He had parents that pursued their. dreams. >> Yeah. And then that sacrifice, you know,

even though I I wasn't ever expecting to. do it by myself now with the two little. ones, it puts me in position now where. okay, I have made a name for myself. where like the two little ones now. instead of leaving them behind, I can. bring them with me on movie sets and. stuff because I have a little status and. people kind of respect it and. understand. And now too, working moms. are more respected, >> way more respected than they were back. in the day. They know you come with. kids, they're going to give you a good. trailer and and that's how I've been. able to pull off all my movies because. every single movie I have done, the.

little ones have been on set with me. >> I see that, too. I think that's. >> Yeah. And that's something I would I. wish I would have had then, but I was. making a name for myself and setting. myself up back then. >> Yeah. >> So now, yeah, things are different. >> Yeah. So, moving on from King, we're going to. get into the subject that everybody. wants to talk about and everybody wants. to hear from you on because you haven't. spoken about this at all. >> I've been speaking about it just because. of Love & Hip Hop, >> right? >> But most recently, there was.

>> the most recent event. >> Yeah. There was just something that was. put out there for monetation and clout. and you know for a weird agenda of a. certain [laughter] individual. >> who's now a YouTuber. >> Yeah. All of a sudden a YouTuber. >> We [laughter] were we were researching. last night and I was just like this is. weird. But [laughter] to each their own. I'm never going to knock anybody. >> A midlife crisis. At 43 years old you. wake up one day and wanting to be a. YouTuber. Girl, let me break out my.

glasses cuz I've got so many notes on. this. Um, so for those of you who don't. know, you actually um married Safari. Uh, or yes, you married Safari, who is. Nicki Minaj's ex. That's pretty much. what people know him for as being Nicki. Minaj's [clears throat] ex. You can see. her whole demeanor change talking about. this man. Um, take me on the courtship. because you said somewhere that he. courted you for about 3 years. Oh my.

god. [laughter]. That's crazy. I didn't want him, >> right? >> My intuition knew what was up, >> right? >> I did not want him. I never found him. attractive in that way. Um, and it's funny because it wasn't until I. actually started dating him that I even. got like the real. of like his relationship with Nikki. Um,

so when he started to kind of come after. me, I I knew he was her ex, but I didn't. know the real details of it. Um, coming. from the terror squad angle of my life, I always was a Remy fan and stuff like. that. And don't get me wrong, >> like who doesn't sing a Nicki Minaj. song? But I was never like tapped in. like cuz you remember she. >> from Brooklyn. I'm from the Bronx. So. you kind of growing up in New York, you. you side and and more gravitate to the.

rapper that's from your barrel, >> right? >> And um everybody has to like. >> Well, it's not even that. It was just I. was with Raul, so Remy was my my go-to, you know, like that was who I knew. That's who I sang. And I I do know that. um Nikki for years had like these. bombass mixtapz that even friends of. mine would like dive into and know every. word. So I knew of her. I just was never. like really super familiar with her. music because.

>> of the world that I was kind of in, >> right? Um, so yeah, I didn't know the. details of their relationship or that, you know, whatever until we kind of But. anyway, I so you guys met on this. >> I wasn't, how do you say that? I wasn't. put onto game of the kind of individual. that was. All I knew was that he just. gave me corny. He gave me player. He. gave me. suspect, you know, like it wasn't the. fur coats that threw you off.

>> You know what? [laughter]. I don't even think he had the fur coats. when when I kind of met him and he was. kind of going at me. He had the the fake. ruby gold necklaces. And um I was engaged to Bow the first. time I ever came past with this. individual. So that's how far back. We. were at this strip club and they were. actually filming for like this reality. show at the time and I had went to be in. support of my friend Sia that was a part.

of it. Anywh who he was dating an. associate that I knew at the time. She. comes in with him and he she introduces. me to him and he literally was like, "You're Erica Mena. Damn, you're so. beautiful in person." Wow. Why? Mind. you, he's with this other woman. >> Just disrespectful from the gate. >> So that to me was like my first. impression of him. Like you are just. disrespectful. You're thirsty. You're. just not like not that type of guy.

>> Yeah. >> Anyh who, um that was my first intro to. him. And. I from that day he. for like three years this man just when. I tell you did everything in his power. until finally my publicist he hired. purposely because he knew she was my. publicist and I didn't find this out. until years later but he would offer her. money just to kind of you know get to.

me. So yeah, I I I was I was tracked. down and he was persistent. and he didn't. >> You had had previous relationships on. like Love and Hip Hop and stuff like. that. Were you burned from like going. through the situation with Sin, going. through the situation with Rich Dollars? Was it cuz you didn't want to have. another relationship on camera in that. franchise? >> Well, he wasn't even on Love and Hip. Hop. >> Okay. >> When he [clears throat] started kind of. me. >> Okay, gotcha.

>> He wasn't even a part of it. >> Wow. Okay. >> Yeah. So yeah, this started like. when I met him, he was definitely not on. it. Um. >> Okay. >> Was it you that brought him in on it? >> Was it what? >> Was it you that brought him in to. >> Oh, I think at one point he just got, you know, tied on money and decided to. kind of like go after Nikki Baby. >> Gotcha. >> And court her so he can get on it is. what happened. >> Yeah. There's a motive.

>> I stopped watching everything. I stopped. watching Love and Hip Hop after you and. Rich Dollars broke up. Really? >> Yeah. I was just like, >> and Rich had a good run. I will say. that. I thought you guys were so cute. >> I would say this, he believed in me, but. he was one of those guys that he was. easily influenced. Like anybody could. tell him anything. >> So, at one point, people were like. telling him like, "She's just using you. blah blah blah." Mind you, it's like, "I. don't have to use you. I'm talented. Like, you're a manager. If you're smart. enough to see what the.

>> is in front of you and you would, >> you know, not think relationship and. think business. I and I still to this. day tell them that all the time. Like. had you not believed what the trying to. make you believe whether it was. production or like outside people, me. and you probably could have made a. killing together in the business because. >> like one thing Rich at one point had was. good tactics on how to like he he helped. you know spiral Cassie's um. >> you know career and he's you know. responsible for a lot of other people.

and he was even managing Olivia at one. point. Um, but he just believed whatever. the people told him and it started to. put a bad taste in his mouth about me. The mother got involved and you know, yeah, it was just weird. It was like, you know, everyone wanted me to be this. person that was using him and it's like, um, I don't have to use you. I'm I'm. that I'm talented whether you see it or. not. Like, this got something going. here. Like, and but I feel like you guys. genuinely had love for each other. Like,

there was, but at the same time, he just. did a lot of shy storyline oh. >> to hurt me and like you know like that's. [ __ ]. >> like even with him teaming up with with. with sin it was like you he despised. that girl and then all of a sudden to. bring me down they both when me and her. were on the outs it was like they got. together. >> to kind of go at me which. >> whatever was great story line but yeah. and then as far as sin I what what. sucked about that is there was a lot of. truth that came out with her that Rich.

kind of brought on camera, but they. edited out because she was the the one. that um how do you say they wanted. people to feel what they feel about her. >> What do you think of like. >> her being this innocent woman that you. know I went after her and I took. advantage of her and you know broke her. heart. Mind you, she had a man the whole. time, >> right? Wow. Oh, and I was okay with that. because it was like I this is this was.

at the time, don't judge me, but I knew. she wasn't with a girl ever, but I knew. I liked it her. >> Yeah. >> So, >> had you been with women previous to her? >> Yeah. Okay. >> Yeah. I've been bisexual all my life. >> How old were you the first woman you got. with? >> Oh, that's a good question. Um, I would say like 17 was my first. girl. >> It was a relationship. We didn't do. anything, but we just like made out all. the time. And it was. >> Was it like a full-on relationship? Like.

you guys high school, you know? >> Yeah. >> Um I wasn't ever sexual until later on. in the years, but yeah, that was my. first girlfriend, Evan Childs High. School in the Bronx. >> Dominican girl. >> Yeah, [laughter]. >> she's having flashbacks. >> I love it. [gasps]. >> So yeah. Um. >> so the sin the sin situation I've always. thought was a story line. It wasn't like. >> it wasn't. I really really liked her. But she had a boyfriend at the time.

>> Yeah. >> And I was just like, "Keep him." Cuz in. my mind, I'm like, he's not going to be. around long. Like, I'm your first girl. Let me show you what it's like. This way. you could come over here happily, freely. without. >> on your own, >> without us making a mess. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> You know, like that was kind of my take. on it. >> So, you were going to be Mrs. steal your. girl. >> And I pretty much was up until, you. know, >> I don't know.

>> I It's funny cuz to this day I'm like I. did everything I could for that girl to. like set her up in the right way, right? >> You know, like. >> um I made sure her contract was kind of. >> okay, like they did right by her. Like. there's a lot of behind thes scenes. stuff that I did. you felt like you. looked out for I was the one who like. you know set up for us to do. publications for us to like um I even. you know decided like let's you know. let's start some type of like t-shirt. because we we built a fan base you know.

just. >> overnight and I was like let's. capitalize on this so I used I used my. own money and started to make t-shirts. with our our pictures on it. >> and like we would sell it every week um. 11 hip hop was airing and it was like. okay like let's do and my plan was I'm. going to put the money up, use this. money, and we can do like a real. clothing line together, you know? Like I. was already kind of like setting up our. our future in a way, like. [clears throat] a real daddy. >> Well, I mean, you guys were both two. beautiful women. So, and that got.

together on reality TV in a time. >> and I really went after her. Like, I. really really genuinely liked her. [clears throat]. >> And this was in a time when people. weren't having samesex relationships on. TV. So, that was something new. And I. think that's why too it resonated so. loudly where people were at first at. first we got backlash cuz people were. like you. >> you shouldn't be faking and I was like. oh if you only knew it's not fake you. know but um yeah I really really liked. her. It's just with her I don't think. she was com like she started it was more. of a insecurity of like um Erica and sin.

like she kind of felt like you know she. wasn't the bigger I don't know. Oh, so. it became like a competition. >> like I think that's what it where it's. where it went left with her honestly. genuinely I really really do. >> because it was like Eric and Ericson. Eric and at one point I remember we we. had an argument and she was like why is. it never sitting Erica and that's when. it went light bulb oh that's where all. this is kind of coming from.

>> a. >> and then you know before you knew it was. like she was just trying to find. everything wrong with me but it's. >> what a crazy way to look at it though. instead of just being like, "You know. what? I'll be the. >> You're in your masculine energy." She. was in her feminine. >> I definitely was in my masculine energy. [laughter]. >> Like, >> yes. >> Like, somebody's got to be the man in. the relationship, so let me leave. >> Exactly. But that's how I am with all my. females. I tend to be the man. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> So, yeah. >> I I I believe it. I believe it. I tend. to be. So, um, so yeah, that's kind of. where we went left and then before you.

knew it, the producers got wind of that. and and they and they rolled with the. punches of like, okay, yeah, like. >> the drama. >> Mhm. >> So, and then, you know, it worked to her. benefit because, mind you, I came on. Love & Hip Hop as the villain. So, >> you know, people already had that. mentality that that uh, >> how do you trust people in this business. when everything is a storyline? Yeah, it. it once okay I came on the narrative was. I'm the bad guy. The audience like it's.

set on that I'm that's what they they've. been seeing all this time. That's what. they we're made to believe. So that's. what it's been and it's still to this. day has been that, >> right? >> That's why you know um. >> the the the YouTuber was able to run. with so back to Safari. So like but. that's why Okay. So, and and and and. it's funny because I want people to. remember that. >> because of how I came in and that whole. narrative of being the bad guy and like.

the crazy girl and the this and that, that has been stuck to me like glue. since I started, >> right? It's kind of like the scar. >> So, it doesn't matter what real life. happens, whether I'm at fault or not, people want to believe that. I think so. when you deal with someone. >> I think also though you have always. showed how strong you are that people. are like oh Erica I'll get over it you. know and that's not fair to you that's. really not fair to you especially when. you go through and the more we uncover. the the layers of this relationship this.

is an abusive relationship that this man. is. >> creating a narrative and painting a. narrative and that's what narcissist. >> based off of my how do you call that. reputation. >> yes. >> my reality show reputation. >> once a narcissist loses control of his. supply. He controls the narrative. And. that's what I've been watching happen. with you guys. And you and I have been. talking for months about this entire. situation. And you finally have just. gotten to a point where you're just. like, I'm not going to keep letting this.

man paint me as this bad human, >> you know, because he did an interview. with Jason Lee. >> Eight months ago. Can we bring that in? >> Eight months ago. This year. >> Yeah. >> This very year. Eight months ago. >> Yeah. He did this interview with. >> this is before he decided to be a. YouTuber, >> right? >> Of course. >> Yes. [laughter]. >> What the? >> So, they brought him a cake out and this. was a divorce cake. >> What the [ __ ] [laughter]. >> And in this divorce cake, he is talking.

to Erica, which I thought was so weird. >> Listen, I'm I'm only blowing this. because it's on fire. I'm not. celebrating being divorced because I. love my children's mother and my kids. still no matter what the situation may. be. But um. God just keep blessing every union that. I'm a part of. Friends, family, everybody. You know, this cake is starting to look. like a person that I could vent to. Um. I appreciate you for where you've taken.

me in life. Um you know, we have a. connection that somehow we just can't. let go of. And I really think you're an. amazing person individually. We may not. be good for each other right now, but at. one point in life, we could be. And um I. love you. I care about you. And no. matter what, I got your back. >> Cake is vegan, too. >> Go ahead and pause it right there. So. this was 8 months ago.

>> This is 8 months ago. >> So let's circle back. you guys end up. >> this was around the time he was shooting. for um the villain show that he's on. Mhm. >> Um, and. >> let's just. >> the whole time he was there, he was. like, I'm when I come home, I promise. this time, like, mind you, this has been. a reoccurring thing, >> right? So, that's what I was going to. say. Let's paint this picture because. this was 8 months ago. So, after he. courted you for 3 years, you finally. gave in and decided to, >> you know, be with this man. You guys had. pretty much like a short-lived marriage,

correct? You It was You got You guys got. together what, 2019? We got married. 2019. Um was together 20. We had our. daughter. Um pandemic, >> you know, we were stuck together. Um. yeah. And then 2022, we officially. divorced. And a week after our divorce, this man calls me hysterically crying, >> right? >> Claiming he wanted to hurt himself. because he made the biggest mistake of. his life. And this is all public record.

You guys have had a pretty um I don't. want to use the word sloppy but pretty. intense [laughter]. >> intensely sloppy divorce and you know. it's two people that are hurt obviously. you guys had a very passionate thing you. guys you know two beautiful babies have. came from this situation you know. >> and it doesn't have to be like this you. know he seems eight months ago to be. singing your praises. >> so can you tell us what has transpired. since then. >> oh my god a lot.

>> what Yeah, I mean there's just so much. to to tell because it's been 3 years of. this, but um. we got in divorced in 2022. A week after we got divorced, he called. me hysterically crying claiming he. wanted to like hurt himself because he. made the biggest mistake of his life. And I remember that day so vaguely. because literally it the way he was. hysterically crying on the phone and you. know pouring his heart out.

I felt like cuz I'd be lying if I said. when I initially filed for divorce that. I really wanted the divorce. I didn't. I. filed for divorce with the intention of. him getting his and calling his bluff. Yeah. What was the reasoning? What did. he need to get together? What was his. >> get together? >> Um, I won't get into detail of it too much,

but. I found out he was cheating on me the. first time ever. Um, and he was going to Chinese parlors. >> Not the old rub and tug. >> Damn in the dark. Old women don't even. know. >> Oh, Safari, come on. >> And when I found that out, I was. completely obviously disgusted, heartbroken, going through. >> Well, didn't Nicki Minaj say that he was. paying for hookers with her credit.

cards? >> Before we get into that, can I just cuz. we we are talking on the subject of her. >> Mhm. >> I owe her the biggest apology ever. I owe her an apology because like a lot. of us women tend to do. when we don't know any better, especially when we're hard, deep, wrapped, warped into the love bombing. phase, is. the red flag [sighs and gasps] that us.

women tend to ignore when a man sits. there and talks to you. love bombs about. his ex and all the things she did to. him. And it's funny how life comes full. circle because the same thing he did to. her, he's doing to me years later. >> I remember him pouring his heart out to. me about all the stuff she did to him, showing me videos of her reacting.

And at the time, you're love, you're in. a love bomb. I didn't think to ask, well, what did you do to her? >> Right. You're just showing me all this. stuff that he she's doing. She's how. she's reacting. Right. Why does this man. always have videos of these women. reacting? >> Exactly. And now, mind you, this is a. video he was at one point going around. I found out later on um he was going. around the industry showing to like. around the time he was trying to bring.

her down when he was lying to people. saying that he wrote for her like. literally saying whatever he could to. like kind of ruin her career. >> and take her credibility for. >> her real hardearned work. And. >> what is the video of. >> she was chasing him and I won't get into. too detail because I don't feel like you. know. >> Yeah. Being that I'm in her shoes now, I. feel like she's owed the respect to like. I don't But come to find out, he had broke the laptop that had her.

Pink Friday album on it. >> on purpose and then videoed her. reaction. >> And of course, she went, "Fuck off.". >> Yeah, he's recording it. >> So, [clears throat] rewind, fast forward. to me being with him. I'm down to the mother. partaking and agreeing in these. conversations. Oh my god, she's the. devil. Blah blah blah. She did all this. stuff. Blah blah blah blah. So anyway, I. owe this woman an apology because I sat.

there and allowed him to. talk to her about talk about her to me. And from that came me saying things and. like defending and vouching for him and. speaking up on her in a way that was. tacky because at the end of the day. I didn't know the truth. especially not the truth that I know. now. And we do that. A lot of women do that.

They get caught up with a man and he's. so uh good to you that you allow him to. gossip. >> to you about his ex. >> You get manipulated. >> Yeah. And they and they never tell you. what they did. They just tell you what. and how crazy she is and she did this. and she did that. >> That's called reaction. >> I owe her such an apology because it's. so crazy how life it's not crazy. It's. just life. But it it comes full circle. It tables always turn. Everything she. has ever said about him is true.

everything that she had went through. with him, I'm going through it worse, you know. Um, like you said, she definitely aired. him out for paying prostitutes with her. credit card. >> Yeah. >> Um, I think Well, first of all, >> she cheated on me going to a parlor. And. how I found out, >> Go ahead. >> is completely embarrassing. How How did. you find out? But before you go into.

that, I just want to say I think that is. so big of you to apologize to Nikki like. that, especially and I feel like a lot. of other I feel like anyone who who ever. sided with him during that time that. they broke up cuz he was really like he. taunted her. >> to this not too long ago before he came. at me for the YouTube. He taunted her by. going to her concert. >> Can you pull that up for us? Can you can. you put safari at Nicki Minaj concert? Like I think I thought this was the.

weirdest thing I've ever seen. Was that. >> weird because you're saying that you're. going there to make because you're proud. of her. So why didn't you sit in a box? >> Yeah. >> Calm, cool, collective. Watch the show. like a normal person. No, he went there. with. >> vlogging everything. Yeah. >> And then had the nerve to stand, I. think, in the middle of the stairs so. everybody could see he was there. and. somebody. >> he went there to make a show. >> appearance. >> He went there to get a headline.

>> A headline and to provoke her knowing. she's moved on. She's married. She has a. family. >> Every chance you get to talk about her, you do. >> It has not stopped. >> Yeah. >> Since you guys have broken up. >> Yeah. >> And he does it every time for clout and. attention. Him going to this concert was. for one reason and one reason only. He. wanted her to react in some way. >> Right.

>> We're going to pull up the clip right. now so that you guys can see it. >> Sorry, we have an ad. >> No, you're good. [laughter]. >> Like, [screaming]. here it is. [cheering]. >> You're not even in a seat. It looks like. he's in the bleachers. Where where's he sitting? You could. definitely tell he was not a guest at. this. >> And then you have And then you have. eight security cuz you know you're not. supposed to be there, >> right? It's it's weird. It's definitely.

This was weird. >> And this is the thing. This is what I. don't understand about people. It's. like, okay, so first it was her that he. taunted for I guess subscript. subscribers and. >> attention for his YouTube now that he's. a newfound YouTuber, >> right? He got the social media viral. conversation that he wanted, but it wasn't enough traffic for his. YouTube. So now all of a sudden.

he wants to speak up on why he's being a. dead beat. So how did you find out that. he was going to these rub and tugs? This is where people can understand. where the your anger's coming from. >> Yeah. because that's a heavy situation. while you're pregnant and to have to go. and confront the band that you love. >> So, cuz so people are like, "Oh, um, will you file for divorce while you were. pregnant?" And I'm like, "Oh, yeah." So,

>> any other woman in their right mind. would have filed for divorce. >> So, that's kind of how I found out. And. I I kind of like went the off. I. remember that. I was just like, "What is. going on?" Like, "What is this?" Like, so he wasn't just doing rub and tugs. He. was actually having sex with these. people clearly. Wow. And from what I gathered, cuz I did my. homework. And it's funny cuz it's the. same a week later that he confessed. this, this same rubber tug place was on.

the news in Atlanta for being shot up. [laughter]. Okay, so this makes perfect sense. because in that Jason Lee video uh. interview, he talks about how Atlanta. was a dark place for him. >> Yeah, probably was cuz he was going to. these parlors and and what I did my. research, they were all old women. >> Oh god. >> And it's in the dark. [laughter]. >> So you don't even know what you're. getting or what it looks like or. anything.

>> It's just in the dark. >> That'sing scary. That's that's like a. glory hole literally. So with that being. said and and then I'll take full. accountability. I do have to take. accountability because with him. my mind. was not stronger than my feeling. >> and my boundaries. was absolutely not stronger than my. sympathy.

I love this man so madly. that even with all the. cuz. he's been allowed to come back so many. times. >> You loved him more than you loved. yourself. >> I wouldn't say that but because I see. the way I love I love soing hard that. I'm not letting go that easily, >> right? You know, and that's that's a.

flaw I have and I love the out of me. But what I love I love. So it's like. >> a flaw. Is it a flaw? >> It is to a certain extent because I have. to learn. which I have with him. >> One to let go a lot sooner, >> you know, like cuz like letting go. someone you love like the way I feel it. is so it kills me. even though I know. this is not good for me, it kills me.

So, that's where I was at with it. And. after I found out and he confessed, you. know, um what he confessed, I remember. calling his mom and confiding in her. And. that's kind of where our relationship. went left just because uh does that. woman make excuses? >> Well, she's probably the reason why he. is the way he is. It's absolutely the. reason why she he is the way she is. >> Um, and I know that because, you know,

with our daughter, it was during the. pandemic and he would be jealous of the. way I always had to breastfeed her, you. know, like the baby always has to be on. you. Oh, she's still on you. And then. just the way I'm so affectionate with my. baby. Oh, no one ever hugged and kissed. me like that when I was so little little. things that he would say like that. resonated with me. And that's why too I. I made sure to like go up and beyond. I.

would cook, clean, and oh my god, the. type of affection I would give him. There was nothing I wouldn't do for him, you know? Like he he would ask me. something and I there's ne there was. never a time I would say no. like, oh my. god. Right. Um, so anyway, um, where was I at? Uh, we were talking. about why you filed for divorce. >> So, yeah, I called the mother and like, you know, asked, you know, told her and. she made this like load of excuses for.

him, everything but taking having her. son take accountability or her even, you. know, coming out to maybe speak to him. in person or whatever. So anyway, I. decided um to get counseling for us and. we started doing marriage counseling and. then before you knew it um. you know things just. >> Was the counseling working at all? It. was for a little bit, but then we. started like doing construction on our. house.

>> Mhm. >> And um he didn't really know much about. so things were becoming extremely. hectic. >> Mhm. >> Um and the responsibility of that I. think you know kind of just made him. like you know feel extremely. overwhelmed. Um next thing you know he. just the cheating just became never. ending. I like that's when he started cheating. on me with the the Tumi version Eric. Aimea that he eventually brought on the. show. >> Um and and and and it just never stopped.

and it was he didn't care if it was on. the blogs. He didn't care if it was you. know so at that point it was just like. okay after like the third three girl I. was just like I'm I'm I'm going to file. for divorce. So I filed for divorce. Um, and it it sucked for me because I when I. when he confessed the whole, you know, going to the parlor thing, it. grossed me out. But at the same time,

the way he was just crying hysterically. and like saying how sorry he was and. that, you know, something was wrong with. him. I took it as this is my husband. It's for better, for worse. in marriages happens. I can either run from this or I can do. my job, do my part as a wife and stick. by my man and let's go through this in. secret behind closed doors and deal with. it.

>> So that's what I did. I decided to still. be with him even after that happened. >> But the cheating just didn't stop. It. was like just one. It's like one. disrespect after the other. >> Oh my god. And it just was never ending. And I was I was pregnant with Legend. And it was so bad to the point, you. know, even after our house got robbed. This man was so scared to be in the. house with him and his children, his. wife and his children. He got a hotel.

and even even later on I found out in. the divorce, he even bought another. house. had I had no idea but like left me in. the house that just got robbed because. he was too scared to stay there but it. was good enough for me and the kids to. stay there and you know just taunted me. when I tell you the cheating was just. never ending and it was all public and. you know and and I'm just eating eating. sticking by like and going through this. divorce and and as time went on it was. just like okay so I didn't make the.

right decision. I thought. when I fought for divorce, he would wake. up. >> When I fought for divorce, it got worse. He cheated on me with everybody and. anybody he possibly could. It's just. >> and it's sick because these women that. he was dealing with knew he was married. and it just was like no shame. I feel. like all of us women have been in. relationships like this that we all have. one nightmare relationship where we can. completely relate to you and the anger.

and the just absolute like. feralness that comes with after you have. just been beat down emotionally beat. down uh verbally beat down sometimes. physically. It unleashes an animal in you that is. really hard to explain unless you've. you've been through that and the rage. that comes from that sort of thing. because you're one you're embarrassed. >> two you're you know it's embarrassment. humiliation you've got these babies.

you're also going through postpartum. >> oh my god it was horrible this is the. lowest part of your life it was bad like. I was literally ovulating. >> at. 29 weeks. I was like 2 cm open. It got so bad. One. time he had went out with one of our. cast members and was just gyrating with. some girl and it was all over the blogs. I woke up one day and I just lost it.

I'm like, this man literally. violated me. and. put me in jeopardy, but he doesn't stop. and I'm pregnant. And I'm like, so I saw. this all over the blogs, this one. particular incident. I went crazy. I. literally took all cuz he's a. materialistic person, so I already knew. what to do to get back at him. And it. wasn't right, but at the same time, I. just lost it. Um,

>> it's called reactive abuse. >> Yeah. So, I lost it, put all his. sneakers in a big garbage pan, um, can, and I just put paint on it, and it was a. great little release. But even that, it. was just like it was just never ending. And he purposely just put me through. hell forever. Like, it was just. non-stop. At one point, I was literally, and this was all documented on Love &. Hip Hop. I was literally on in like in. the hospital by myself um wired up them. keeping track of the baby because I was. ovulating so early. I finally gave birth.

at 32 weeks and. two day three days after Legend was. born, he decided to go to um Jamaica. with his friend's exgirlfriend, Bouncy. Killer's ex-girlfriend out of all people. to spend his birthday. >> This is just so hurtful. And you're just. laying in bed having to watch this. >> And at that point, and this is the whole. and this is the stuff that mindbggles me. about people. It's like, okay, you guys,

how soon? Like, cuz people have. short-term memory. It's hard to keep up. Life goes on, right? >> But this is the same man that it's been. moving like a deadbeat from the time his. last born was born. Legend was still on feeding tubes in the. NICU. I was having to drive an hour cuz. where I gave birth at, the hospital was. an hour away and our house was another. and we had Sapphire who was just turn. one. Mhm. >> So, I had to court. I had to like.

literally switch out days and nights all. by myself. The mother didn't fly in, the sister. didn't fly in. It was just friends of. mine and his brother at the um the time, his her wife at the time that was. helping me. my my manager came in at one. point like just you know people that. could help me was flying in to handle. Sapphire so that I can go to the. hospital pump. >> and just kind of be there with the baby. give him you know like skin-to-skin as. much as possible and the whole time he's.

in Jamaica. >> living his best life gyrating his hips. like as if he didn't just have a baby. who's still in the NICU literally. >> um so I dealt with all of that. >> this man has no sense of responsibility. whatsoever and like he doesn't. >> and this is before the whole YouTube. fabricated. >> Yeah. And we're getting. >> story he put together. It's like. >> it. >> I think it's. >> it goes way even before that. Like. Legend was not even out of the hospital.

And it's funny because the day he left. that I last saw him, he was supposed to. bring up the car seat. because, you know, I just gave birth. You're not supposed to carry things. heavy, whatever. He told me he was going. to go get the car seat and never came. back. Never came back. It wasn't until I saw. him on his Instagram in Jamaica that I. even. So, yeah, it it it's it's sick. And then.

when I called the mama, like. I'm engorged. I have this baby here. Like, tell him. come home. Like, what's going on? Like, you know what she told me? To this day, I just like I still can't wrap my head. I I you being a woman, okay, who claims. you did it all by yourself, too. You. were mistreated by his dad or whatever, how you can put this together to tell a. woman that your son just married and.

just she just gave birth to your. grandson. She's literally. I I was at my weakest point. so. vulnerable out of it, obviously embarrassed, hurting, not only. postpartum, but heartbroken because of. all the your son's putting me through. I'm calling you to ask you to please. like do something. Get him like tell. them to come home. You know, mind you, yeah, I did file for divorce, but still.

like. >> these babies, they're still here. Like, yeah, we're going. >> just have a heart. She literally told. me, "Good thing you filed for divorce. You won't have to deal with him much. longer.". Is what she told me. literally. And I just remember cuz I know obviously. being around around them long enough, I. know the Jamaican slang slang. I.

literally told her her I was like the. fact that you can tell me that while. your son is living. his life right now as a complete waste. man and in Jamaican culture a waste man. is like the bottom on the bottom. Right. >> Right. She didn't like the message. So. from then our relationship just kind of. has been whatever. But for her to even. tell me something like that it was just. like come on woman. You obviously you.

have no respect for me either. So, it is. what it is. And with all due respect, >> Yeah. And you also. >> you you I should have really said you. raised a waste man, >> which I probably have at some point. [laughter] because. >> and also, you know, it's there's just so. much here to unpack and. >> oh my god, I don't even know where like. there's so much. >> It's crazy that. >> like how do we put this in sound bites. so that my voice gets hurt? We got we. got this. >> cuz I'm like there's just so much sound. There's so much pain here and the fact. that people can even look at the.

situation inside with this man is it. mindboggles me. >> Yeah. And and I and like I said, I got. to take accountability because I just. wasn't strong enough. I I this has been. going on and on because I let it I have. to take accountability in that. >> Absolutely. >> To the point that he was allowed to do. this. But that doesn't mean that you. deserved this because you know. >> but at the same time like I took him. back too many times to count. >> right.

>> you know like it's just not like I. allowed. >> it to be to this point. >> and even now it's is sick. So, okay. So, then, you know, that all happened and. then here we are, Legend, you know, turns one. He's nowhere to be found. But, it's funny because anytime you guys. have ever seen this man really be with. the kids, it's because he's in the. process of trying to get his family.

back, which means we're kind of on. decent terms, >> right? >> Which is was this about eight months ago. that this that you guys were still on. good terms when he did this? particular. podcast. Yeah. He was he had just got. done filming the villain show, >> right? >> And the whole time he was filming, anytime he got his phone, he was. facetiming, >> sorry, he was facetiming me and swearing. up and down like, "When I come home, I. swear this time is different." You know, even when he won, he was like, "I won. I'm going to use this 200k and I'm going.

to I'm going to buy you another ring and. we're going to do this again and blah. blah blah blah and I love you so much.". E like you gave me my kids. There's. nothing I'm going to make it up to you. I'm so sorry. I swear I'm going to prove. to you, girl. I have text messages. I. have videos. I have just like he can. like I could too. Like I I wish we had. time for all the messages that I I wish. you guys could read because this man, when I tell you when he goes through. that that moment of like trying to get.

me back, the way he pours his heart out. in text messages with his words and then. how he does his gestures, sending. flowers, buying me jewelry, like it's. just it's just intense. And then he. he'll come over to my house and, you. know, >> won't leave. he'll act like he's coming. to get the kids but won't leave. Things. like that. Um it's just it's it's been. non-stop since the time we officially. got divorced. So, we got divorced in. 2022.

>> And the week after we got divorced, he. that's when it really started like he. would, you know, claim how um he wanted. his family back and that he was going to. hurt himself and and this one particular. call the week after we got divorced was. so intense. I really believed him that. he that I you know. >> um. >> you loved him. You wanted to believe. him. And obviously with my experience of. what he did, you know, when I was. pregnant, I knew he needed help, you.

know, and even though I should have ran. my I loved him so much that I was just. like. >> this is just our story like. >> it's this way and toxic fairy tale. >> Yeah. And like I'm going to I'm going to. get him right like I'm going to we're. going to get this together. Especially. because the way when our love was good, it was good. Like Safari is so funny. He's charming.

He's a like great spirit. when he's great and in that, you know. what I mean? Like that's why I was. friends with him too for so long. Mhm. >> Like I didn't want him for so long, but. then when I first like when I realized. like there was cuz trust me. >> B, everything I could do in my power to. scare this man away, I did. >> I remember one time I invited him to. come to Cancun. I had uh a friend of. mine had like uh bought me a trip for my. birthday and I was there by myself and I.

like last minute just decided let me. have him come. When I tell you he came. the next day, no hesitation. I was. drunk. I was acting a fool. When I tell. you I literally treated this man like a. peasant. Like he had grabbed my bags. Here I'm drunk. Carry me to the room. Like there was nothing. Like I just. abused this man. Like I knew he liked me. so much. But in in reality I was just. like he likes me. I'm just I don't like. him. I'm just not going to take it. serious and I'm just going to give him a.

hell. And nothing scared him away. And trust me, I did everything in my. power to disgust him. You know, I. probably even threw up that trip because. I was so wasted. He he nurtured me. Car. like there was no getting rid of this. man. >> So anyway, um. because he didn't let me or leave me. alone. And I know what it is like to be. with him because when he's into you, he's very attentive. He goes all out.

He's so romantic. The way he can text. you and get your panties wet. The way. he's just so romantic just in general. He's super like into you. Um he makes. you feel like he is going to do anything. he can to level up your life, you know? Like he does what he needs to do. Oh my. god. >> He can sell a dream. And then because. he's funny, he's charming, and and all. of these things, it's kind of like it's. it's once you're swarped, you're swarped.

by him. >> It's bad. >> Like, it's so bad cuz he has that gift. >> But the gift he has and he's not using. it in a You know what I mean? >> The women that are listening to this. that have been through this know exactly. what you're talking about. >> God, he's so good. >> You are preaching to your your crowd. here. >> So good. Like, so it doesn't matter. >> And this is always. Oh my god. >> It's like, >> this man devours me and does everything.

in his power to please me, >> right? >> This man will literally beg for fluids. of me just because he's like, I want all. of you. >> Yeah. >> And as weird as it is, you see it in his. eyes. You're like, >> okay. [laughter]. And you give in. And then you're like, "This is the weirdest ever." But this is. like that's how deep he dives into you. >> And before you know it, you're consumed. And because when it comes to sex girl,

he goes all the out. >> Yeah. >> Like all the to please that man can like. literally he can turn probably a butch. lesbian straight given the opportunity. because he dives deep. Yeah. Yeah. >> And there's nothing he won't do to. satisfy you. >> Yeah. >> So with all of that, it didn't matter. how much he did in the past. When he. goes after you and when he would go.

after me, >> all of that dis and I forget about it. and I'm remembering and I'm just. indulging in the now. >> It's a cycle. It's a vicious. >> Oh my god. It's a neverending cycle. >> And it's funny because he knows my. weaknesses. He also knows. even though I should say even though he. does everything in his power to like. please me um cater to me, shower me, he. also knows how to trigger, >> right? >> And when he's bored.

triggers. >> and. always that he that he. >> the up and down. Oh my god. [sighs]. There's a lot that he does to like. trigger me and it and it's sick because. he does it cuz he knows. So like.

there's times where I'm just like why. are you doing this to me? Like enough is. enough. Like you even X Y and Z. Oh, I. didn't do that to you. >> Oh, that'll blind rage. >> And it's like he'll deny it. >> Mhm. >> And then there's times and and it's. crazy because most abusers try to. rewrite history. >> Oh my god. >> So he'll do things right and then he'll.

set me off and because and this is. really the core of it. He's the. non-confrontational. confrontation. confrontational person. >> Passive aggressive. >> He stirs up so much confrontation, but. has has this cool laid-back demeanor. about it. >> Mhm. >> So, he'll set me off. He'll he'll he'll. violate me and disrespect me. I'll go. off and then I'm feeling sorry that I. went off.

>> when it's like I have a right to go off. but because. he doesn't you know react. >> and loves [clears throat] my re but. indulges in the way I react. >> he won't react and go crazy but I will. and then it's me feeling sorry and then. I end up apologizing for things that I. shouldn't be apologizing for. >> and then it's like it's Okay. I know. I. know. I know you're hotheaded. I know. you're an emotional um what is this.

thing? I know you're very um you're unc. you're you you. >> emotionally unstable. >> There you go. >> Mhm. >> I know you're emotionally unstable. And for a while. >> they get you so flustered too that like. you don't even know your words cuz I've. been in relationships like that. >> For a while it's like is it me? I got. into a relationship where I was in a. relationship where I had to record what. he would say to me in arguments because.

whenever I would react, he would say, "I. didn't say that." And I finally got to a. point where I was like, "Yes, you did.". And I would hit play and then have to. And then that's when that was the the. beginning of the end because I wouldn't. let him manipulate and lie anymore. It's. really sick what these these people do. >> I wish I was smart enough for that. I just got to a point where I was like I. know I'm not for that crazy. >> cuz I would be like wait like you you. did X Y and Z. This is why I'm feeling. the way I'm feeling. And then he'll be. like well you have to let it go. And at.

one point. >> no. >> he wanted to disrespect he wanted me to. get back with him. like this man would camp out at my house. and in front of my kids beg for me back. >> that to this day my daughter's a little. confused and she kind of blames me like. like you broke up with daddy that's why. I don't have a daddy in my house. >> and he would literally be on his knees. like please just take me back look at. our kids look at our family please I'll.

do whatever it takes and then he'll go. to Sapphire Sapphire tell mommy not to. break up with me and she'll just be. there like, "Come on, mommy. Let's be,". you know, like he knows all those like. those times in my living room how he. would literally and and and it it's it's. sick because. even in the the video that he used on to. you YouTube, he used with his sister. being the fool to film it, there's a. clip where he shows my daughter. hysterically crying how she doesn't want. to come back home to my house. Mhm.

>> And it's sick because it's like you know. why she's crying. So can we. >> She knows she's not going to see you for. a long time because she's used to it. already. Therefore, she doesn't want to. leave you. >> She's obsessed with her daddy and he. does not give her an opportunity. >> to. to really have time with with him. So anyway, it it's been back and forth. of him just for.

three years of him just trying to get. back with me on numerous occasions. Um. it's it's I will start dating. He'll get. wind and next thing you know it's him. sending me videos of him playing with. himself, watching our old scenarios and. then it's the him pouring his heart out. to me. I'm sorry. And it's like, you. know, I'm talking to someone right now. You know what I'm saying? Cuz it's it's. like I've been trying to move on with my.

life for a long time, but anytime he. finds out that I'm like dating someone, it's him coming back um make buying. jewelry or you know, acting like he's. coming to pick up the kids um and then. for him not and then he doesn't leave, you know what I mean? or you know and. and that's really what it comes down to. now that you know in May of this year I. had enough. I had enough enough.

Um. I'm the reason why. we haven't. been. together in that way because. >> [gasps]. >> the person that I became. Okay, there's. just so much to unfold with this, but um. >> I think you're doing a great job.

>> There's just so much to talk about. It's. just. >> people need to hear your truth. >> I was on a date last year. >> Oh, let's talk about this. The type of. with that triggers me. Let's go back to. the triggering part. [laughter]. He was using this Miami girl character. for a storyline. Um, which he confessed he only did because.

he wanted to prove to me that he didn't. need me to be on Love & Hip Hop. So. anyway, he decides to kind of fake like. this Miami girl character that's on. Miami um, Love and Hip Hop Miami. And um. at that time he was about 6 months. behind purposely in paying child. support. Now mind you. I'm still in love and hip hop at this. point but I have the kids. He's on Love. and Hip Hop in Miami and he's only 30.

minutes away. He wasn't using his weekly. parenting time and he was months at. least at this time he was like six. months behind on um paying child. support. Anywh who, I'm thugging it. I'm. flying with the kids to and from my um. at from Miami to Atlanta to film and and. and you know, kind of do my what I'm. contractually binded to do, >> right? >> Um next thing you know, it goes viral. He's buying this chick's.

kids Rolexes. He's literally deliberately buying. another man's children Rolexes. and has this whole drawn they have this. whole drawn out birthday party for these. kids, right? Mind you, this man is six. months, right, behind on child support. Hasn't seen the kids is indulging in. this whole storyline that he even. admitted he was just doing so that he. can prove that he didn't need me to be.

all love and hip hop in general. >> She he also said that they've never even. had Right, >> girl. that whole like I don't know who's. worse, him or her when it comes to that. whole scenario. Like she's just as. desperate as he is because I'd be damned. if a man who doesn't even have real. intentions for me is going to be using. my kids. >> as some pro like as some as some. I don't even know what you call it, but. it's sick on her part. Yeah. Like pawns. As a mom, you're you you're allowing. your kids.

>> first birthday to be a staged scenario. so that it could look like this man is. about you when really. in reality isn't attracted to you. You. know what I'm saying? Like. anyway, so um it goes viral. Of course, I'm going to say something. You haven't seen your kids in how much? and you're purposely not paying your. child support on time to spite me to.

financially, you know, be an [ __ ] is what you're trying to. do, >> right? >> So things like that he's he does to. trigger me, >> right? I'm just saying I don't. understand how people can't see that. he's poking the bear. >> And even when I was pregnant, he was. dating the tumi version of of me, right? >> For Valentine's Day, he he fills up this. girl's small little apartment with. flowers, the same thing he used to do. with me. um had. didn't bring pampers. Like literally. when when I filed for divorce, buying.

pampers, buying clothes, none of this. was being done. So. when you know your kid's father. financially can buy extravagant gifts. for these random women after you just. had two of his kids back to back and he. doesn't even drop off a box of Pampers. >> Who in their right mind is not going to. put that on child support? >> That's the reason why Safari is on child.

support because when I filed for. divorce, he never once thought for a. second, let me drop off Pampers. Let me. see if the kids need clothes. Let me. What do the kids need in general? Never. never asked what these kids needed. >> Right? >> So, I knew if it was like this already, it was going to get worse. And it did. >> So, therefore, when it was time to. finalize our divorce, I made it. mandatory that child support was. implemented. My first kid father wasn't. on child support, but he also did what. the had to do.

>> But, which is not a bad thing. That's. why child support is implemented in the. court systems. >> Yeah. But at the same time, if this man, >> if we're together or not, >> these kids are your kids, >> right? >> If he was riding for these kids the way. he rides for whatever woman he's on for. the moment, we would be so good because. >> regardless to what you, there are baby. mamas out there that don't have to talk. or say anything about their baby. daddies. Why? Because they do what the.

they have to do. There are baby mamas. that live a good life of not having to. talk ill on their baby daddies. whatsoever because these men are doing. what they have to do. Not all, but a lot. of them do. I don't consider you talking. ill. You're telling the truth. So, are. you not allowed to speak your truth? >> And that's save his reputation. >> And that's what it's been. And that's. why so like a croc of how everyone's. like, "Oh, he's been quiet for so long.". He's been quiet for so long because he.

cannot deny anything. I have said about. him up until him randomly now having. this new YouTuber found urge where he. can edit that he started and and and. stirred up. You know what I'm saying? >> And let's talk about these videos. Can. we bring up these videos, Mimi, that um. we have of Erica climbing over the. fence? [laughter]. That's my girl. climbing over the fence. And then um. also like trying to get into his house.

And then the only thing I do have didn't. agree with in here. And I understand. that this is where your rage is coming. from is the babies are are seeing all of. this, you know. >> Yeah. That one. Yes. So let's. >> Okay. So let's break this down. >> Yeah. >> What's happening in this clip right. here? >> Okay. So pause Wait, pause cuz I'm going. to get to that. Um keep that there cuz I. want to show you. I'm going to tell you. this go this goes along with the um. climbing the fence. So anyway, that. first initial video um I had went to his.

house to pick up the kids. I had just. came back from a work trip. Um came to. pick up the kids. Um prior to getting. there, he was telling me how he finally. had some money for me. Um, so at one of. the moments of him trying to get back. with me, he came up with this idea of. putting the kids in some type of. schooling daycare, right? Um, so that we. could have more time together to fix. things and build on us without the kids.

being around. I fell for it. So I did my homework and. I ended up finding a Montasauri school. Me and him went to the Montasauri. school, checked it out together. Um, the. lady told us how much it cost. He agreed. to take on that expense. Come time to pay this school, Safari had. the nerve to tell me, I pay child. support. Take it out of that. So, here I am now left with this. newfound expense that I wasn't prepared.

prepared to take on. But this is the. route you want to go. You cheapucker. No. problem. Oh, you pay for it in child. support. Mind you, let me not even give you the breakdown. of that, but anyway. >> No, please do. Spare us no detail, please. >> So, anyway, I've been taking on this new. expense of the kids going to this. Montasauri school um on my own after he. told me he would take this on. Now, he. did this because this is around the time.

like after it when it was time for him. to pay up, I wasn't trying to on him. So, anytime I'm not trying to on him, anything he said he was going to do, he. ain't doing. Um, him seeing the kids is. not even a question. Like, if I'm not. trying to on him or ignore what he did. and and kind of, you know, go with the. flow and just act like we're getting. back together, that's always his MMO. He. doesn't he won't he won't do anything.

extra outside of child support and he's. damn sure not picking up these kids. That's just what it's been from from the. jump. So anyway, I get to the house and. he's telling me, "I got a surprise for. you." And I'm like, "What is it?" And he. tells me he he has the money for the. school for the school. I get there, I did take a nap, right? I get cuz I. live like 30, 40 minutes away. Mind you, I just like I said, I just landed. I'm.

exhausted. So, I take a little nap. I. get up. and next thing you know he tells me he. wants to talk. I'm like, "Okay, let's. talk.". He found out that um I had a guy that I. was hanging out with when I was on my. work trip. So, his initial was like, "Oh, so. this is what we're doing. Like I'm over.

here with the kids and I'm trying to. make things better and and I'm just like. [laughter] we're not. >> the call is COMING FROM INSIDE THE. HOUSE. Safari. >> get there. [screaming]. [laughter]. >> So anyway, [gasps] I'm like how does it. feel? >> I'm like leave me alone. >> So anyway, it's he starts to get in his. feelings and then he goes, "You know. what? Why don't you ask him to give you. the money? I was going to give you the. money.". >> Oh god. That started the argument and. then from there him saying other nasty.

So that initial. sadly whatever was and they just. happened to be recording at this moment. >> Well, he has cameras in his house. Okay. What are the coincidence that now he. wants to with me and provoke me while. I'm at his house. Right. >> Right. [clears throat]. >> So he starts to, you know, say how he's. not paying for it. And at that point, I'm not going to lie, I was set off. because I'm carrying this expense. that I did not inquire. Now, mind you,

this was that was this year. That was um. in May, >> the first one where going down, that was. in May, >> right? >> Okay. Um, I got fired from Love & Hip Hop. because he started a fabricated nasty. story and was gossiping to me about. another cast member. Me and that cast. member got into it. I said something. that, you know, she she went low, I went to hell. And.

for that, I lost my job. So, he is the. reason the big reason why I lost my job. But anyway, this is that this is that. year. This is this year. >> You're also carrying years of just hurt. >> Yeah. But my whole thing is, you know, I. just lost my job. >> Yeah. >> One of my main incomes. You. owe me this money because you're the one. that wanted to put them into this. facility. >> Right. >> You literally are in your feelings every.

time. I don't want to on you. So, you. refuse to give me the money that you. said you would pay for these kids. So. now I'm taking on an expense that I did. not originally I wasn't prepared for and. I just lost my job because of you. Now. here I am at the house to pick up the. kids. You get when I'm talking to. someone or I was with someone the uh. night before. Now you're saying you're. not giving me the money you owe me. >> Right. >> I'm off. >> Yeah. >> I am ticked off. So I'm telling him I'm.

like explain to me what's go like. explain to me why you're not going to. give me this money. You're the reason. why D. So I want answers. He's mister. Not confrontation. Confrontation. He. knew telling me that he wasn't going to. give me that money was going to set me. off. He knew that. >> And then for the. >> So what did he do? >> He was going to call the cops on me. >> So what you see there is me. First of. all, I'm pissed off. You owe me that. money. You owe me that money. It's like a.

couple like a good 10 bands that you owe. me. Okay. He still owes me that money to. this day. But anyway, um, and it's even more now [laughter]. because it's been that long. So, you. tell me you're going to pay me this. money. Mind you, this man has no problem. buying himself jewelry. This man has no. problem buying random women that he's. sleeping with. >> Just bought Selena Pal jewelry. >> Did he? >> On his YouTube. I just saw I mean, I. didn't watch the video cuz I wasn't. giving him the views, but that's the.

title of his. She said, "Let me not let. me not tell you." No, I don't even care. I mean, at this point, I'm so used to. it. Like, just a couple of months ago, he gifted the Miami girl a necklace, and. I only seen that because that was viral. You know what I'm saying? It's like, >> it's sick. It's like, so this particular. video, like I said, he taunted me with. this money, then says he's not going to. pay for it. Then I'm asking him to. explain to him, explain to me why. He.

starts to, you know, call the cops. I'm. just over it, B. And yes, that was completely wrong of me and I. take accountability for that. And that's. the first and only time that has ever. happened in front of my kids, which is. why my kids literally followed me out. >> Yeah. >> They they're not scared of me. They've. never seen me ever act like that in. front of them. Ever. >> Ever. Ever ever ever ever. It's never. been that way. and how he's trying to.

make it seem like this hap never you can. my kids. are proof that they have never been. around that and an in any kind of way. >> right. >> you know did I lose my absolutely. because enough is enough you're. literally you you're the reason why I. lost my job and here you are owing me. all this money for something you. you inquired about and you like this was.

your idea to put them into the school. You said you were going to pay for it. and because I'm noting on you the way. and and going about things the way you. wanted to be, now you don't want to pay. what you said you were going to pay, >> right? >> So, it set me the off. And then him. having the nerve now you want to call. the cops on me. You want to call the. cops on me and I have a video where I'm. filming him myself. So, what you see. there is I'm not trying to I'm not. putting my hands on I'm trying to get. the phone from him so I can speak to the. cops myself.

>> Because at that point, enough is enough. >> Yeah. >> Enough is enough. But you know what's so. crazy and sick about it all is a week. after that happened, guess who's calling. me again, begging to be back with me, and once. again sending me videos of him playing. with himself, watching videos of us. that he has, how much he misses me. And so a week. after that happened, the sick bastard. was back trying to get back with me. >> What is it with him whacking off in.

videos? He if you if you've ever dealt. with this man, I don't think I would any. kind of way. Every girl that's ever. dealt with him gets those videos. It's. And I know that because on Love & Hip. Hop Miami, I seen a clip one time. >> The girl is outing him in front of the. chick. >> Oh no. He sent me this video of him. jerking himself and I'm like, >> he's just a whack-a-mole. >> He literally just he loves video. He. loves. >> He loves himself. >> He loves recording himself oiled up. Oh,

[laughter]. >> the visual. >> He's oiled up. >> No. >> Abs out. >> No. >> And. >> for days, it's his thing. So, any woman, and I know any woman that's ever dealt. with him. >> Does he have the fur coat on? That's all. I want to know. And any of them. >> I've never received them with fur codes, but maybe another woman has, >> but that's just his mo. But with me in. particular, it would be his laptop open. with videos of me. that I've even sent.

him in the past, you know, cuz he's like. he's one of those people like loves my. tits. So, it's like, "Send me a video. with your tits and your tongue out.". >> Imagine how many other girls videos he. has like that. >> Oh, I know. First of all, he has cameras. all over his house so that any woman he. sleeps with now he has on camera. >> Oh gosh. >> It's just an automatic MMO. >> Isn't that like a That's a charge, isn't. it? >> I mean, I'm Well, if you ever go to his. house and you're busting it open, just. know there's there's cameras. I mean, he.

could legally have cameras in his house. >> Yeah, absolutely. But. >> so that's how he probably gets away with. it, but um. >> I mean, there's even oiled up. >> Yeah. Oiled up. A week later, mind you, I'm on vacation. I'm in Tulum living my. best life and I fall for it again. >> Erica, what the Okay, listen. I could. blame him for some stuff, but now I'm. going to start holding you accountable, baby. >> It's It's He is so good. This man has. got you fired from your jobs. He has. made you look like a fool numerous.

times. >> What? And you just keep going back. >> cuz it's the way he pours his heart out. And it's like even though he know he at. this point I know he has no heart and. it's still you know what it is too. It's. like I didn't have these kids to be by. myself. I've already been down that. road. >> Yeah. >> So I think for a while up until May. where I got and I'll get into that where. I actually was just like. Enough is enough. >> Yeah. >> Um.

I still had hope that he would just get. his together. >> That he would change. You thought he. >> would change. >> I get that. All of us women get that. >> Oh my god. It's like like we are so like. our connection. Look what he was. He was. talking to a cake [laughter]. claiming that our connection was that. because it it was it was that deep. >> Yeah. >> You know what I'm saying? Like when a. man devours you and your fluids and.

everything that comes with you, it's. like how can you not believe it? I don't. seen this man do and drink and. everything of me. How can I not believe. him? >> Right. Is that TMI? Like. >> you genuinely love him. >> I did. Yeah, >> I did. >> Are you video are you still in love with. Safari? >> No. >> Do you have love for him? Okay, I don't have love for him anymore. And.

here's why. In May, after that whole thing happened, a week. goes by, >> he's coming back. I come back from Tulum. and I indulge in him. and this is all in May now. Mhm. >> Two days later, I get a call from one of. his friends. Well, actually a DM. and they asked me to call them. It's.

actually a friend that he hangs out with. to this day in Florida. And. they called me with. pure intentions. And. I say this because this person is very. close to him. now and this person is a standup guy. Doesn't get into the mess. Um,

but he's a good guy. You can tell. because of the way he he moves, how he. is with his own family, so on so forth. And he reached out to me and said, "Listen, I think it's fair that you know. because I don't think it's fair what is. being done." And I'm like, "What's going. on, Lord?". I know he's been trying to get back with. you and he's been telling me that this. time is for real. and that he really and I and I've been.

vouching for him like like with it. Like. I think he should make things right for. him, but now I'm getting nervous and I feel. like you should know before you get. caught up again. And I'm like getting. nervous about what? So apparently he started bragging to. this particular friend that he met this. 20-year-old girl. that he's very interested in because. quote unquote she doesn't know who he is. and that because she's not in the. industry, it will be easy for him to.

kind of. tell her what he wants her to know and. still be able to do what he wants to do. and bunny. I instantly became so disgusted. It was the reality check that I needed. after all this time. And what's so sick. about it is that no matter after.

everything this man put me through, >> it was the fact that I am now being. informed. that this man is now going after girls. that are the same age as his niece, his. baby niece. >> And he's. >> You are a 43y old man. And now you're. going after this 20-year-old girl. because you know she doesn't know no. better. >> and because what? You can now manipul.

manipulate her because she's not in the. industry. So what that means you can. tell her whatever it is you want to tell. her. She'll believe you and she'll play. her position if she's into you enough or. if you. love bomb her enough and you could still. do what you have to do. So that means. basically you're here trying to quote. unquote. every other week trying to get your. family back, but you also.

now have this agenda to go after a girl. that doesn't know no better. A. 20-year-old girl. You know what that. means? That mean look what he did to me. and I'm in my 30s. I can't even imagine. what he's about to do to a girl that's. in her 20s that doesn't know any better. Right then and there, I got sick to my. stomach and I realized. that the person.

that I am that I became in that very. moment. has to change everything moving forward. Like I'm the change. Like I am the one. that's like in order for this because. there's no changing him. All he's going. to do is break me apart. keeps setting. me off, using the fact that I love him to the. core to chip away at me, to make me feel. like there's something wrong with me. every chance he gets,

and that. all he cares about is his next victim. And now there's no limits because now. you're going after a girl that just. started life. She has no idea at 20. years old. She has no idea. your what your kind is. And I just became sick because it was. like he has a niece.

that he has been around for, you know, a. baby niece that is the same age as this. girl that now he's he was bragging that. he's going to be pursuing. And that's when I realized I'm like, this is first not going to get any. better. Two, he does need help. And the help that he. needs, I'm not sticking around. I have to help. myself now to get over this and do what.

I have to do for these two babies. On. top of that, I have a daughter. So does. he. You know what it made me think. about? Like imagine some guy going after. my daughter at 20 years old because. she's not in the industry and she won't. know any better. >> So this friend actually saved my life. >> Shout out to the homie. >> Shout outs to the homie. And he still. rolls with him to this day. This is the. first time. I'm sorry if I I try to be. selective in my words so he won't know.

who you are, but he put me on to game. He's like he's going after this. 20-year-old girl. And and it's funny. because not too long ago. I was tagged in a blog. where you see him pulling this young. girl that looks like she's 15. It could be the 20-year-old. I'm. guessing it is because that was in May. May, June, July, August, September, October, November, December. Yeah, it it. probably is her. Um but she looks like a.

child. A child. And in my mind, I'm like, not. only is this pervert, like you're. perverted, you'reing sick. >> Yeah. Well, I think that might trigger. >> you have time. Yeah. It's like. >> that might trigger your childhood trauma. also because. >> that might have been what? Yeah. >> What happened to you? >> Oh my god. When I tell you I just got. instantly grossed. >> I can't when Yeah. When men are tricks. or like And I'm not saying that he's. tricking off on her, but that's my.

thing. I find out he's tricking off on. >> ever tricked off on a girl and like if. they're young and it's like that's such. a weird thing. >> Well, it's funny you say the trick off. part because this same friend told me. how he he cuz I was just like this is. insane. I was on the phone with him for. like an hour and I'm like you know. what's so sad is like he runs through. these women and every time he gets a a. woman he like buys them jewelry, right? Like that's his thing, right? I'm like. he's never bought his own daughter a. pair of earrings. A a pair the diamond.

earrings my daughter and he's Mr. jewelry connoisseur my son doesn't have. a chain on his neck from his daddy. My. daughter doesn't even have a pair of. earrings on her in her ears from her. daddy. >> No. >> But yet apparently he bought that girl a. pair of diamond earrings claiming that. she brings him more peace than his. daughter does which is. >> what he's quoted saying that. >> the the friend told me this. Oh my. goodness. >> Cuz I was like, why is it that he every. time he finds a new broad he gets them.

jew? Like what is the tricking on the. broad or someone else's kids? Like what. is that? He's just like, I don't know. But what he said he said to me not too. long ago that he had a pair of earrings. for Sapphire, but he ended up giving it. to the girl because she brings him more. peace. And I'm just like, this is just. it's Twilight's own. Like people will. never believe me, but being that this. person wants to paint this narrative so. it can deadbeat in peace, this is why. I'm like I'm like I'm let's just talk. about it. Well, this man is really um a.

minister to society. >> Sick. >> Yeah. Like he's genuinely not a good. human. Like that's [clears throat] a bad. spirit. >> Sick. >> To hurt somebody like this and his. >> That's why it took so long. >> Let's talk about the situation with you. climbing the ladder. >> Yes. Because when you told me this. story, it made complete sense to me. I. was like, absolutely. I would have done. the same thing. >> So, okay, I'm going to tell you the. story and then I want you to go to me. hopping the ladder and then I want you.

to come back to this if you can. Okay. So, I. had a night out off. He has the kids. I'm in Carbone. with this football player that I was. dating. Um, mind you, this ladder thing was done. last year. >> The other the first one where I'm going. crazy because of the schooling stuff, that was done this year. That was in. May, early May.

>> This right here is last year. >> Mhm. >> He's. loving hip hop so-called going after. another woman, right? I'm living my life. I start dating this football player, really into him at the time. He comes to. town just to take me to Carbone. >> and I go.

>> as you should. >> Right now, obviously I know this. information later on, this particular. information, but he got wind. Someone at. Carbone that knows him tells him I'm at. Carbone. >> Does he have a tracker on you? >> No, but he knows a lot of people. Okay. Cuz I feel like he just knows. everything. >> So like in Atlanta, um. he got wind because of someone from. production because I brought the guy. like it was like after set I kind of.

left with the guy. So anyway, this. particular time um I'm at Carbone. I'm. leaving. He gets win from someone that. was there that I was there. Now, I get. dropped off at home. Now, I just started. dating this guy, so I wasn't going home. with him, but you know, that's my. business. I get home like maybe 1. something in the morning. I jump in the. shower. I'm getting ready for bed. No. kids. I get a call from him.

Legend just fell off the bed and he's. bleeding. Wait, what? Yeah, he fell off. the bed and he's bleeding. Bleeding from. where? Now, I know the kids have a bunk. bed in his house, but I know he doesn't. use the top bunk. So, in my head, I'm. like, "How did he fall?" I'm like trying. to figure out like, so I'm like, "Where's he bleeding from?" He goes, "I. don't know. I don't know. I'll call you. right back.". Okay. 10 minutes go by. He doesn't call me.

back. So, as a mother, I'm like, I start. calling him. What the going on? Is he. okay? At least at least tell me he's. okay. He doesn't pick up. I called him. numerous times back to back to back. It's not picking up. So, at that point, I'm like, I'll just go over there. Like, what the like I'm just going to go over. there. So, I drive over there. Now, mind. you, he lives in a gated community. You. cannot get into this community unless. you're let in by the residents. They let.

me in. Okay. >> I get to the door and as you can see, I. have pajamas on. I was about to go. [laughter] to bed. I have my sports bra. I put some biker shorts on, you know, whatever. Like, I was literally about to. call it a night. I get to the door. I'm ringing the bell. No one answers. He has a transparent. kind of door. I see him walking back and forth like. he's looking, right?

Doesn't answer the door. So, at that. point, I'm like, "This is crazy." I'm. I'm like all the things that are going. in my mind. I'm like this [ __ ]. sees him at the door. Now I know Safari. has glass. All his backyard is all. glass. >> So I'm like I'm going to go to the back. to look through and see what the going. on. The that gate was locked. He just so happened to be getting work. done on his house at this time. This was. last year. The convenience of the.

ladder. The ladder was literally there. waiting for me. [laughter]. It said climb me. Like the fact that people think I drove. a lad. I I rode with a ladder. >> cuz I like I'm not going to lie. The. comments I'm just like are people this. stupid? But they are. [clears throat]. >> Common sense is not. >> He was actually getting work done on his. house, right? >> So the ladder was there. There was tools. there. The ladder was there. [laughter]. The the gate was locked. This after.

calling to tell me my son fell from the. bed, >> right, and is bleeding is not answering. the door. Mind you, he let me into the. community. So, at that point, I'm just. like, what the going on, >> right? >> Why is he But I see him walking back and. forth. And at that point, as much as I. probably should have known this [ __ ]. was playing with me, I wasn't. I was. just more concerned at what the going. on. Why is he saying my kid. >> mama bear?

So, the ladder was there. I used the. ladder to hop the fence, which that's a G move. That's a G move, right? Like, I would do the same thing. You tell me. >> Now, go to the part that I told you. before, the other second part. I get to. the back. If can you zoom into my face? I am concerned. I am confused. I am trying to figure out what the is. going on. This is you knocking on the. door, right?

>> This is me knocking. He's trying to And. it's funny because he's been circulating. like Joe Budden even mentioned this. video on his podcast. Safari has been. sending people this video. since it happened, joking about it in the s and mind you. everyone he has sent this video to but. prior to him doing this YouTube has. gotten a different story on why I mean. it's the Nicki Minaj thing. One exactly. one person he told I was trying I think. he even said in this video that I was.

trying to break into his house I think. right he said he was trying Mind you if. someone is breaking into your house why. wouldn't you call the cops. >> pull off with. >> why would you let them in from your gate. guard gated community. you know like this look at my face can. you zoom in anymore [laughter]. I am stressed I'm concerned I am not mad. I am not raging. I am trying. I am confused and concerned. and that is clearly written all over my. face. My eyebrow is literally touching.

my hairline. [laughter]. >> Can you believe this bastard comes to. the door finally? Literally. You're crazy. You really came. here and laughing at me. Laughing at me. You're crazy off. You. really came here? That's the stuff I was talking about. like triggering. >> Yeah, that would set me off. I'd have. been like, you just called me and said.

our son split his head open and is. bleeding. Like what do and didn't answer. the phone. I thought he was going to the. hospital. >> Purposely didn't answer the phone. because he knows my mind starts. First. of all, my kid, he knew exactly what to. say. I really now know he got wind. I. was at Cartbone wanted to my night so I. couldn't get none which is probably what. he was thinking which is why he waited. to call me at the time he called me. thinking I was probably late up with the. dude. >> and decided to tell me that then knew.

telling me that will have my mind going. which is why he didn't pick up then he. obviously gets alerted by his gate that. I'm at the gate. oh I got her she's here now up her night. purposely didn't let me into the gate. because he wanted me to lose my [ __ ]. >> but I lose my the gate of his house. >> Yeah, they let me into the gate. They. called him to let me into the You cannot. go into this man's residence without. being let in by the guard gate. He's in.

a gated community. You cannot go into. this man's gate unless he lets you in. Okay, so now here we are. May I find out. about the 20-year-old girl, >> right? >> Okay. He calls me. Now, I'm not letting him. know what I know. I just told him. basically enough is enough. Like I can't. do this. You're a pervert. I was kind of. like telling him without telling him. I. was even I was calling him all the P. words in the book. Like clearly you're a. pervert. Clearly you're this and you you.

got weird you got more you got more. issues than you got you got you're a sex. addict first and foremost. You are a. pervert. Um you literally do nothing but. manipulate and with me. Youing toy with. the fact that I love you and you beg me. to be with you everying chance you get. Then you bounce around from woman to. woman. You know what I mean? Like you. disregard these kids when I'm noting on. you. You you purposely try to um make.

financial. uh uh uh burdens for me by not helping. me outside of the little bit of money. you do pay. Because honestly, his child. support is calculated off of if he was. taking his kids once a week the way he's. supposed to. He's not. My child care. just to work, which is why sometimes I. bring them or a lot of times I bring my. kids to set and I still have to pay, but. it's not as much because I'm kind of. still there. When I if I have to leave, let's say to do a movie like doing. stepmother was two weeks.

>> One of the one of the because we break. it down two weeks. Can you imagine. leaving your kids for two weeks, two. kids, what that child care cost? around the clock. >> Yeah, >> it's a lot of money. >> So, you purposely and then what we do. for a living, I have to and when even. with flying with the kids, I got to pay. for my flight, their flight, you know, the food. Um, I got to make them com get. a hotel that is, >> you know, accommodating for kids that, you know, I you can't do no cheap, you. know, not saying that I would, but you.

got to get a a a place to stay that's. accommodating to your kids. Big enough. space. All of that cost. >> Yeah. >> All of that cost. And then on set, even. with me being on set, I have to pay for. someone. So anyway, for what I do for a. living, what he does for a living, he. knows that it adds up. >> Mhm. So I had this conversation with. him. I'm like, you know what the you're. doing. I can't do it. You're a pee. You're a pervert. You're sick in the. head. You You know, he and I'm sure with. our last conversation, he got the memo.

He will never be able to on me or with. me again. And in that conversation, I. even brought up, I'm like, I'm so sick. of the fact that you pick and choose. when to be a father and the fact that. your family doesn't even try to do their. part when it comes to these kids. You. know what the hell this man said? How. could they when you're their mother, Bunny? that set me off right then and. there that I literally went into my. phone,

found his mother's number, and he talks. about that in the YouTube as well. And I sent her a message with. proof of him in my home that very week. cuz remember I told you that whole. incident that we went I went off on him. because of the school stuff and I broke. in his house. Like I just had enough. I. was just like whatever. That was in May, right? Couple of days later, the homie called.

me. No, sorry. That was in May. That. happened a week later, we're back to. whatever, right? Cuz he was sending me. all the messages. I got back whoop swed. back in. Right. Two days later, after me. being swept in, after a week of that. happening, we get together. I'm swept. back in. Two days later, the homie calls. me with that bit of information about. him dating a 20-year-old girl that he's. bragging on how he's so excited because. she's not in the industry and she. doesn't know any better and he can kind.

of tell her what he needs to tell her. and still do what he needs to do. That's. literally his words. I could tell her. what I need to tell her and still do. what I need to do. >> Him telling me, "How can his family do. their part for my kids because I'm their. mother?" I knew right then and there, even though I always knew. It just was. like a real like confirmation. He's. playing two sides. >> Absolutely. >> He's kissing and trying to on me and get. back with me, quote unquote, but telling. his mom.

>> family something else. >> Oh, yeah. So, I text his mother, quote. unquote. I figured since I know your son. is such a liar and since he knows and. since I know he lies on me all the time. to you and your daughter, just figure I. informed you of him being up in my house. last week. Isn't it ironic how he paints. me out to be such a hateful monster but. yet won't leave me alone? And in that I show video of him in my. home camera, which you've never gone on.

YouTube and posted these. This is what. he But he discusses how I disrespected. his mother and sent her inappropriate. photos of him. No, buddy. I sent her. proof where you be at. Okay. >> Yeah. >> Because you lie to her and say one thing. and it's crazy cuz the mother is the. enabler and the sister's the. cheerleader, >> right? So really, it's like what I did. was. I opened up the floodgates to the truth.

on the lies you're telling them, >> right? >> So, I clarified things because you're. you're you're painting this to be one. way with them, but yet you're really. consistently since we got divorced, every single other week, you're begging, trying to get back with me. Eight months. ago, you just went on a in you went on a. and did a whole interview. Not only did. you praise me as a mother, but you were. literally said you wanted to eventually.

publicly that you see us being back. together and the right time and all this. and all of that. Now all of a sudden you. didn't get enough excitement with your, you know, taunting your ex at her. concert. What's up next? Now you all of. a sudden want to tell the your truth. >> Yeah. your truth on why you're being a. baby daddy. Isn't it convenient? I I. just find it that like, oh, now all of a. sudden it's convenient for you to speak. on all the truth I've been telling. >> Yeah. >> So, you took your time to edit this 30.

minute video using video videos of me. from separate occasions too. >> From separate occasions, >> not telling the truth. >> behind what led to this and why this was. that. >> Mhm. just so you can deadbeat in peace. And that's his agenda because now that. he's a YouTuber and he can't on me. anymore, he takes that out on me by not. coming around for the kids and what.

happens if you're YouTubing every day. People are going to start inquiring why. your kids are never with you, right? Yeah. Does nobody can nobody like put. the pieces together? Like it it makes me. sad like these blogs like even when I. was doing research for this podcast a. lot of these blogs like side with him. and like oh it makes perfect sense and. Erica and I'm just like. >> and you know why because what's. happening. >> he this is what he's doing. He's using. my reputation. >> to now paint this picture on why he.

chooses to be a dead beat. But they. think that your actions even after he. dropped these, you did it. So, G, dude. And like normally you would have flown. off the handle and like gone to defend. yourself and this time you were just. like, you know what, do you. >> You know why? Cuz I knew the time would. come where I could actually speak on it. And I knew I would do it before the year. was out. I just I sat with it with God. and I was just like um. I need to tell my truth and I know you. know I need to tell my truth because of. who I am.

>> and because this narrative. being so false could be damaging to my. future, my career. You know what I'm. saying? >> Um so I sat with it with God and I was. just like I'm not going to speak on. anything. I did a little bit, but then I. was just like, there's so much to unpack. with this that doing it off of like it's. not gonna make sense, >> right? >> So, and and literally like you DM'd me. and it was just. >> thought, [laughter] no, for real.

>> It was like, okay, this is what I'm. going to do. This is it. >> because I can sit. >> with a credible woman that's been. through it, that understands what's up. Yeah, a lot of women have been through. this. >> and and your podcast. resonates to. an audience that isn'ting. a male-dominated hiphop scene. >> that but it's like. your viewers and like the people who.

tune in to you aren'ting stupid and I. know that because of the you talk about. >> they're so compassionate and and the way. your podcast has been able to expand and. and and and grow the way it's obvious. because the people are tuning in. Everything you speak on and how you. speak and it resonates. It's credible. It's. it's real. >> This is a place for people to come and. tell their truth with no judgment and. with people I'm so blessed to have a. following that these women are going to.

just wrap themselves. They're going to. wrap their arms around you. Like we've. all like it's like I'm not saying I'm. perfect. I would take full. accountability. I I'ming, you know, this. man has been able to trigger me. This. man has been able to break me. This man. and I take full accountability because. no matter how much he's violated, disrespected me, embarrassed me. No, he's left me for dead from the time my. son was born till now, I still took him. back so many times. I engaged in sexual.

acts. I I accepted the gifts. I believed. him because I was desperate in sense of. I wanted still the idea of my kids to. have a two parent household. But this is. where I want people to to kind of come. together and put two and two together. and realize what the. if I wasn't allowing this man to see his. kids. Why is it that he's taking me to. court for everything but to see his. kids? He is now suing me for defamation.

and a whole bunch of othering stupid. inmarit. He's um taking me to court right now. also because he wants to modify his. child support. He literally leaked his own court papers. which triggered me right before this got. leaked. Um he leaked his paper his his. lawyer papers and he had the nerve to. make the head to put in there that he. sees he has the kids more than me and.

because he's no longer on Love and Hip. Hop he doesn't make that that much. money. So obviously he's a YouTuber now. >> But I fell for the bait because when. that went out when he when he put his. whole court papers out, people were. coming at me like, "Oh, why is she. making it seem like he never sees the. kids if he's claiming he has them more?". I literally posted the calendar of. >> Yes. So next thing you know, people are. going at him like, "Oh, you only seen. your kids 16 times." that I fell for the.

bait which led him to do this. He's so. calculated. and his agenda is very clear. It's just. people love to hate me being the bad guy. that this is where you know what I'm. saying. This kind of became as big as it. was where people actually believe this. >> Yeah. >> Because the truth is, like I said, if he. if I was keeping these kids from him, first of all, he has court ordered. parenting time since 2022. Yeah, he's.

supposed to get them three days one. week, four days the next week. It's. supposed to be rotating, rotating, rotating. He doesn't do it. Why? Because. he claims the kids school is too far and. he'll be he doesn't want to drive 2. hours every day to get the kids. Where I. where he picked the school for the kids. to go is 30 minutes away from him, right? So picking them up and dropping. them off every day would be a 2-hour. drive every day. >> He claims he's not doing that. Then if. I'm noting on him on those other days.

that he could be picking them up, which. is the weekends, it makes my life complicated, right? It's less. It's hard for me to date. It's hard for me to maneuver and and. work and do this without me having to. pay. He also knows I lost one of my main. incomes thanks to him. >> So therefore, money is probably not as. much as it used to be. So keeping the. kids on my tab all the time adds up. So. he's calculated in every way. If I'm not.

engaging in him on me, these kids don't. see him. And and even that he'll get them. purposely not brush their hair, purposely dress them looking crazy, all. of these things because he knows I take. pride just like I he would take pride in. how he dresses. I take pride in how I. dress. Therefore, what do you not take. pride in when it comes to your kids? >> Absolutely. >> He will have my kids walking around. looking. like. >> crazy. >> Yeah. But yet, he can be in tip-top.

shape. So, it's like he doesn't just do. things to set me off. He does things out. of spite all the time. >> All the time. >> After being through all of this with. him, how is your heart? How are you. right now? >> Um, you know what? I'm a lot better. >> Yeah. >> Believe it or not, this coming out. set me free. For real. For real.

>> I love that for you. >> cuz I'm like, look how far he will go. Like, he hasn't gone far enough to break. me and bring me down. Mhm. >> But now you want to publicly. make me be this person that you know. that I'm not because and and you and I. know this to be a fact. He wants to make. sure that I don't flourish in my career. anymore. >> He's not succeeding. >> I'm doing movies now,

>> right? >> I've been blessed to now I have my. dating show with Zeus that comes out the. top of this year. Let's talk about it. cuz and no matter what this man has done. to you, >> he did this right to stop all of that. >> And so he can YouTube and be a dead beat. in peace, >> right? >> That's what this agenda is for. That's. that's his motive. That this is all that. this set me free because now I'm able to. do this. >> Yeah. >> And you have been.

>> I feel like I've been sparing him a lot. And the truth is the truth. I am not. perfect. I have taken this man back on. numerous occasions. I have allowed him. to provoke me where I wig the. allowed him to use, you know, my. weaknesses against me because he knows. when we got married, that was the one. thing when when he kept begging me for. kids. I don't want to be a single.

mother. He left me for dead with two. kids on purpose because he knows that's. one of my biggest like fears. >> Yes. >> But now I can tell my story for real. >> Yeah. >> On who he is and what I've been through. and not carry it into 2025. >> Not carry it in. >> Like see. just set me free because now. like he does with Nikki, he often tries.

to chime in. Well, he's definitely going. to come forward after this podcast comes. out. >> I mean, if he comes forward, it's. because he's desperate for more clout. That's just who he is. And he'll ride. the wave and just know that. Don't let. him trigger you. >> He can't. Okay. I'm so like. now that I especially now about the. latter because it it's been like such a. job and I I'm able to laugh at it now. because it's like damn he reallying set. me up for this. You stupid [ __ ] You.

allowed this clown to really like play. with you like this. >> Yeah. >> But this just set me free because now I. can tell the truth on all of this. >> Pharma always comes back around. And you. know, before I close out this. conversation, it's like the proof is in. the pudding. If this man was being if. his kids were being withheld. >> from seeing from him seeing his kids, he. would be in court for that. He's not in. court for any of the butter. In fact, >> also taking you to court for defamation. >> Then he's also after putting this out on.

me, he's t he's trying to sue me. Oh, >> when I was shooting the the zoo show, he. put out he was trying to get a. restraining order on me. Mind you, I was. in c I was in California for like a. month and a half shooting my my dating. show. He got wind that I was shooting. the dating show and it was for real. going like going down. This man had the. audacity to try to get a restraining. order on me. Why? So that in the middle. of shooting I had to stop, find a. lawyer, pay a lawyer to now respond to.

this and and defend myself with this. quote unquote restraining order. So it's. like when I tell you there's so much. behind the scenes I've been dealing with. with this man and if you guys want to. believe it's exhausting. It's so exha. because if people really want to believe. that I don't want a break every week and. that I don't have to pay for with my. kids going with their dad. You got to be. out your rabbit ass mine. >> Yeah. >> A free break three days one week, four. days the next week. Bring it on. Come.

pick up these kids. And then he also. tells on himself too in another thing. He's like, "I refuse to go to her. house.". >> Stupid. Your kids go to school every. day. That's how much he has. He hasn't. seen his video of him in your house. >> But exactly. He doesn't want to come to. my house cuz he can't on me anymore. Is. the real deal. >> Yeah. >> He can't drink my fluids and devour me. the way he is obsessively loves to. anymore. But he can pick his kids up at.

school but doesn't do that because he. doesn't want to drive the two hours. every day. >> So there you go. >> Let's move on from Safari though and. talk about this dating thing because. even though Safari has put you through. all of this bullit, he has literally. tried everything he can to justing. bring you down and like I just could. never imagine a man wanting. >> Oh, did I tell you how he was DMing the. football player, too? >> No, you did not. But it doesn't surprise.

me. Like what is going on with this man? >> It's been when I tell you people like. >> what was he DMing the football player? >> I guess he wanted to tell him that like. so I'm dating this guy talking to him. but he still was kind of coming at me. He got this is the guy that I was at. Carbone with. He found out who it was. and starts DMing him talking about he. had stuff to tell him. >> What? Okay. >> You want to see it? It's funny. >> If Yes, I would love to see it. If. people don't see that he's the problem,

>> then. >> I just after this podcast, if I see. another vlog about you being the problem. here, I'm going to. >> I mean, like I say, I'll take. accountability, babe. I'm I'm not going. to say I'm innocent cuz I'm not. But. it does take two to tango. And and trust. me, our sexual chemistry is so like bomb. that it was hard for me to let go. But. at the same time, >> you guys also have a trauma bond, too. So that makes everything so 10 times. more intense. >> Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. So look,

this is. >> Hold on. Let me get the bif focals on. loud. >> He said, so this was after he had me hop. the fence. He he got wind. Okay. So he. found out, so they just told him that I. was there with a guy, but once he found. out it was a football player, and this. football player, when I tell you, is. fine. Does the damn. He's he said, "What. up? Let me know when you see this.

Trying to send you some info. Just want. to make sure you're the right person.". [laughter]. So yeah, he basically. every time I'm ready to move on or I've. moved on, like this man can't take it. So, it's like if I'm all of this. and if I'm this crazy, let's just say. like that, why haven't you just been to. court to get your kids away from me for. one two? Why haven't you gone to court. because you I'm keeping your kids from. you? Like, why?

It's just an abusive relationship. >> There's just so much that I just wish. people were smart enough to see. I think. I will say a lot of celebrity women. reached out to me like big name women. that were like listen. >> what you did is nothing compared to what. X Y and Z made me do. And it's like. you'd be surprised how many men and it's. I'm saying it's right but men literally. purposely. antagonize provoke women and then when.

they lose their it's like she's crazy, she's this, she's this that. They never. tell this the whole story. >> It's reactive abuse. And that's part of. controlling the narrative. If he can't. control you, he wants to control what. people think about you. And after this. podcast, if people can't see what's. going on here, especially now that. you're distancing yourself from him and. saying, "Hey, you know what? No more. >> Just let this dude crash out.". >> Like, I would never let this man touch. me again. >> I mean, he's gonna crash out on his own.

It It's. >> I mean, he's crashing out already. So, moving on from Safari though, and no. matter what this man has done to you, you have literally just risen from the. ashes like a the phoenix that you are, you have done this your entire life. It. seems like to be a theme for your life. Like no matter what life throws at you, >> I don't know how I really have like 10. lives. I would say nine, but I think. >> No, you always come. >> I have a couple of lives on me. >> I'm telling you, you always come back. full force. And now you have a dating. show coming out on Zeus. Tell me all.

about this. I'm super excited about. that. I feel like this show, I mean, it's definitely Zeus, so it's crazy. It. has its elements, but what I love about. it is that Lemi and LJ let me create a. format where I still gave them Zeus, but. um I wanted to tap in and and show how. fun and sexy and wild, you know, being a. a bisexual woman could be. Yeah. >> Um, what I love about it is I got to be. myself, you know, in the sense of like. once I'm like in my world, in my.

element, I. my favorite conversation. I love to talk. about sex. I'm a Scorpio, so I love to. talk about sex. >> Do you know what your moon sign is? >> I don't. Was asking me cuz she said you. were going to ask me. So, I was like, "Oh, how do I find that out?" She's. like, "You got to find out your moon. sign cuz she's going to want to know.". I'm like, "Okay, good to know.". Um, [laughter]. but yeah, I love to talk about I just. feel like, you know, in a safe space, like we all do it, like whatever, right? >> So, I've been an open bisexual for like.

years. And um I love love and I haven't. been lucky in it, but I know I'm. deserving of it. >> And um one thing people don't know is. how fun and crazy and, you know, wild I. am. Well, wild. Yes. But like I think we. all know you're fun and crazy and what. like but like in a fun way where it's. not love and hip hop drama like people. know me drama crazy now it's like fun. crazy turnup crazy like tap into like.

how fun it is to be around me when I'm. in you know a good healthy environment. So I got nine guys nine girls all walks. of life. >> Wow. >> Yeah. and we took it there and we put us. we're all in one big house and they are. competing for my love and I'll say this. my cast I'm completely obsessed with. them. >> um I. had such a great time um with just you. know.

the whole environment that it was it was. crazy non-stop the boys turned up the. girls turned up you know I'm not very. like into the whole like throwing ing. down stuff because I've been there, done. that growing up in New York. But I will. say this, it definitely turned me on to. see them kind of like some of them were. taking it so serious where they were. like thumping for me and like hardcore. like um but yeah, I just love it cuz. it's like I like I said, I got an. opportunity to really be myself. It also. was very emotional because you get. attached to certain people and even.

though you don't see them in that way, you know, to let them go and hurt their. feelings, it's tough. It's tough. But. yeah, it was a fun time. The trailer. will be dropping very soon. >> When does it drop? When is the actual. show? >> January. We're just right now going over. Zeus's programming. Yeah. Um Lemi has so. much stuff in the works and stuff like. that. So, he he wants this to be very um. right timing. And it's good because we. literally shot this in August. >> Wow. >> And um right in the middle of you going. through all of this. >> Oh my god. Literally. Literally going.

through all of this. Um I it was going. down and but at the same time um. it was it was a wild experience. >> It was an outlet for you too. >> Yes. And and and doing it made me. realize too like. everything my first baby daddy would. tell me like remember who the was in my. my head cuz to go through what I went. through. I wasn't love hip-hop for so. many years. Then what happened happened. to me. These people used me for bait and. all of a sudden selective outrage kicked.

in. and the next thing you know they're. firing me over social media. Um, and I. held that f franchise down for so many. years regardless of what how people feel. about me. People tuned in. They wanted. to know my drama. They wanted to know my. life story. I was able to kind of go. through my relationships. Um, you know, I brought out, you know, me being a. bisexual. Then I got married and had my. fairy tale wedding. Then I got kids. Then I got left for dead with kids. It's.

like the world has been on a journey. with me for so long and now it's like. now I get an opportunity to not only. have my own show but to show me in the. element that I'm very deserving in and. that's love. Like I am such a lover. regardless of how. >> crazy my love life has been. Um, I have. always been open with my love life and. there's whether it's bad, good, ugly, whatever, it's it's just been this ride. that my fan base has been able to go on.

with me. So now, you know, doing um two. ways with Erica, it was just an outlet. of just kind of seeing what it's like to. date me and how to date me and and then. the, you know, the challenges I got a. chance to make up, you know, for my. contestants, you know, kind of says a. lot about me. I'm definitely a freaky. girl. [laughter]. I'm definitely a freaky girl, but I'm. also very fun. And I'm also I I feel. deep, too. I'm I'm an empath, even. though I'm hardcore and like I'm very. empathic. So, it was it it's it's.

definitely a ride. Um people have been. saying, "Your show is very loud. You're. very loud." I'm like, "Yes, yes, it's. loud." I mean, when I think of Erica Ma, I think of somebody who's very loud. And. that doesn't mean it's not a bad thing. >> They call chronic loud. So, that's a. good thing, you know. And it's great cuz. like everyone behind the scenes. production, everyone's like, "You got a. hit on your hands. We're so excited for. you." I just stopped by the Zeus office. the other day and um you know, everyone. was just like so excited for me because. the edits are, you know, starting to be. edited up and they're just like this is. this is great because people get to see.

who you are. A lot of them said this was. the most fun that they've ever had on a. set, you know. So, I got a chance to. like bring an experience to not just my. contestants, but you know, production. and everybody that you know plays behind. the scenes. It's always more than what. you guys see in front of the camera. >> Absolutely. >> So, yeah. Um Yeah, I'm excited. It's. it's it's going to it's very loud and. it's out there and and we're going to be. on a ride for it says 12 episodes, but. we have so much footage that um I'm.

thinking they might add some, you know, extra episodes in, but I'm excited. And. then we also have movies coming out. I. have a movie run um directed and written. by Chris Stokes that comes out in. theaters this year. >> Let's go. >> Um we get a trailer for that. And then. my trilogy Stepmother um which is on 2B. and all my other movies that are on 2B. I'm really proud of that. And I'm just. going to continue on and like the acting. stuff. This is why I'm like this. couldn't have come at a better time. because I feel like at the end of the. day I'm not perfect. Like I said, I've.

made some faults. I've taken back. I've. up. I've fell for the okey do. I've also. made some bad decisions. Um, but I'm. unapologetically me at all times. Um, even within my mistakes. And one thing's. for sure is that when it comes to my. career, I give it my all. Um, and. there's a lot of versions of me, which. is probably why I've been able to kind. of be in this so long. And I'm not. afraid of growth. And that's exactly. what you've shown this entire podcast is.

so much growth. Like I'm not afraid to. grow, change. Um last August I decided. to like not drink anymore. So I'm kind. >> Can we talk about this? I just learned. about your sobriety earlier. >> Yeah. Like I'm over it. You know what it. is? I just feel like um. to to go where I'm really headed. >> and where I'm supposed to end up being. ultimately. I feel like I used alcohol. to kind of numb a lot of things and to.

make the some and I and alcohol plays a. part in me making the dumb the stupid. dumb decisions I've made with just kind. of accepting and taking back and so on. so forth. That played a big part. >> of me. indulging and not being. levelheaded like I'm supposed to, you. know, because emotions are high. It. weakens me. My mind isn't clear. >> Um I forget what I have on the line. Um.

I'm like even that night that I hopped. the fence, I had a couple of drinks with. my guy. >> Yeah. you know, I was a little tipsy and. you know, when I got that phone call, you know, I'm sure if I was sober, him. not picking up, you know, whatever, I. probably would have made a different. decision and going over there. altogether. >> You know what I mean? And I think about. that and and even with um. um that last incident, you know, being.

set off, you know, like knowing. that this person purposely says and does. things to kind of provoke me, being. sober, I feel like now is going to give. me a lot more. strength and clarity and and I'm going. to stop and think things through before. anything, you know what I mean? Before. any type of reaction. >> Absolutely. >> And so far, I feel like it's great. Like, I get up at 5, I pray now,

>> um, write in my journal, the kids get up. at 7. So, I kind of have like this. routine now that's been mapped out since. I decided to become completely sober. And it's been great. Like, I walk around. with this damn bottle. If I'm not with. this bottle, it's my Stanley cup. Yeah. >> And um, >> and I just feel so much better. But I. also feel like I am able to hear. I'm. super in tune spiritually. Like when I. wake up at 5:00 and I'm praying, I'm. able to visually see what's going to.

happen for me. like God I feel like. >> like shows me things and it's been. so like liberating. >> because like even with this I was. supposed to come not too long ago before. this actual visit and then something. happened when my mom Yeah. Yeah. She's great. um where I I wasn't. able to make it and um. it was like the timing of everything and. just like how and I realize that now.

like I like everything in its timing. it's like who would have known I would. have not predicted that you know to to. come and and try to ruin me. >> Yeah. >> And I feel like that was the the the was. a motive behind that. Like that was that. was done and put out to like end me once. and for all. peace. >> Yes, that was done to like end me for. once and for all. And the fact that that. wasn't the result, you know, you've done.

nothing but level up. Even getting. sober, no drug is worse than reality. I. say that to everybody cuz I've been. sober since 2017. >> I heard. Yes. So to to be able to be in. the midst of all this chaos, all this. stress, everything coming at you, and. just to make that conscious spiritual. decision to be like, you know what, I. don't want my mind altered anymore. I. want to be in this 100%. That is. >> that's amazing. And and now since I've. done it, I'm like I look back at all the.

I was tolerating. >> and like the lies and you know now us. going to court sometimes I have to go. back and send proof to my lawyer about. certain things and I'm reading how I was. just like the lies, the this, the. deceitfulness, the and it's just like. had I been sober none of this would have. sli slid that that well and I definitely. would have not accepted as much as I. accepted, you know, like. >> and then getting through postpartum.

>> that because when I was pregnant and. even after I wasn't I wasn't drinking. then, but the pain of that and feeling. on, you know, disregarded and thrown to. the side and and just not seen and. taunted the way I was taunted, you know, like from the time I gave birth to. legend, even up till now, >> this person purposely buys all these. things knowing It does nothing for these. kids and everything's left on me. That's. done to taunt me.

>> That's done to make my life complicated. and more difficult. You know, now that I. don't want to have any sexual. relationships with them at all, it. claims it's scared of me. >> It can't come nowhere near me. >> because it's so scared, >> you know, and it's just like, wow, I'm. really dealing. Well, I should say it. I wouldn't even say I'm dealing, but. if there's any regret that I have.

is the person that I chose to have more. kids with. >> But I love my babies. But I just I I. just really. >> You can't control how who he's going to. be. He's always going to be who he's. going to be. >> Yeah. But I I feel like. um I owe my kids like a forever an. apology, but they have you. They have you, they. have King, you know, like those babies. were they chose you to be their mom for. a reason. >> So,

>> yeah, but those times when my daughter. is begging to get picked up by her dad. and he does nothing but give her excuses. and she gets off the iPad and she's. hysterically crying. It's like, I am so. sorry. >> Yeah. >> You know, like that's the stuff. And and. then that's and that's even more so why. I have to stay sober because I now have. to um and it's funny because no matter. how much time has passes and we're about. to be on seven months that he hasn't. seen them um their love for him has not. subsided because how much love I pour.

into them and how much I allow them to. love him even from a distance. >> When they miss him and it's real bad, I. play his video on YouTube and that's. stuff I kind of have to deal with. But. at the same time, it's a sacrifice I'm. going to make because in time they will. see it for what it is. But in the. meantime, I don't want the trauma of. them missing him and not seeing him to. affect their, >> you know, their their their light. So I. try to do what I can to kind of fill. them up with love and no matter how much.

time has passed and and that's the part. that's so sad about it is he. can do this but yet doesn't tell the. world that no matter how much he goes. without seeing them those kids love him. even more than the last time he saw them. seven months ago. My prayer for you guys. after this podcast comes out is that I. really hope Safari listens to this with. an open heart. >> Oh, he's not going to listen to this. >> And Oh, [laughter] he's Oh, he's. listening. Trust me. You know, he's.

going to listen to this. >> He is not. He might. He might. >> He might um stalk my Instagram page to. see cuz he does do that. Yeah, >> I know that because it's just so. obvious. >> Well, my prayer is that he does listen. to this part of the podcast with you and. >> he'll probably get wind of the stuff. that goes viral. listens with an open. heart and then just you guys can just. get it together because it does seem. like there was a lot of love there and. those babies were made with love and I. really pray that you guys can come to.

some sort of friendship, you know, of. don't get back together with him. I. don't even want no friendship. I just. want him to just step up to the plate, you know, see the kids when you were. supposed to see them when you have them. Dress them properly. Love them properly, you know. Have you guys ever tried to. have like a mediator in between you guys. that can like get the kids to and from. each other so you guys don't even have. to interact? >> We don't have to interact now, Bunny. He. could literally go to the school, pick. the kids up. I know there's I know of. men that drive 3 hours just to pick up.

their kids, spend time with them, and. drive three hours back to drop them off. and then three hours to get back. Like, >> if you really want to see your kid, no. time or place. stops you. >> Yeah. And it's like that's just what it comes. down to. And he has court-ordered time. to see them. He just chooses not to. because it makes my life complicated. If. I have them seven days a week and let's. just say because my career I actually do.

things like movies and I have a show and. things like that. I have to pay child. care and if I have them separate, he. knows that's going to cost me. >> Yeah. Absolutely. >> So, so what? So 2025, what can we look. forward for you? >> We got Erica Mena two ways with Zeus. coming. Yes, >> we have a movie called Run that will be. in theaters. >> But I'm I want to hear about you. personally. What is does Erica want for. herself personally? All your. accomplishments are amazing and I can't.

wait to see those come to fruition. >> You know what? I want to I want to. continue just being this clear-minded. person. I feel like I' I've been. drinking since I was like 16. >> Yeah. I wanna I want to indulge in life. like because it's well I stopped in. August. I'm only like se August seven. months seven eight months in. I want to. um progress in this life of clarity. >> and um. you know continue to indulge in you know.

bettering myself whether it's me in the. gym or taking some classes. I've been. doing this cold water plunge thing. >> Yeah. Yeah. Cold plunge. >> Yes. I'm obsessed with it because it. really it has helped me to understand. how powerful my mind is. So when I first. started doing it, obviously it's scary. It's freaky. Like you're dying, you're. hyperventilating. But once you start. >> realizing and how you can control your. mind, like I will literally now sit in.

40 degrees for 3 minutes. Of course, I. have I haven't [laughter] been able to. go past that. But I can make myself. really believe I'm not in a cold. situation. >> Yeah. >> And with that comes, okay, if I can do. that with just that, I've already what? Manifested what I manifested now, >> I want to just be able to kind of just. progress in my mental and like how I can. just. make everything that I want happen. mentally, especially now that my mind is. clear, you know. Um, I want to challenge.

myself more in the physical sense. Um, I've always been like, you know, real. active in the gym and stuff like that, but now I really want to dive in where. I'm like, >> you know, weightlifting heavier and just. make that more of a day-to-day routine. >> It's so good for your mental health, too. >> Oh my god. I feel like just challenging. myself physically. >> with the power of my mind and how I can. take my I just feel like it's this time. And then before I'm 40, I just feel like. I see myself just being in the best.

shape ever. And this is all stuff that's. come and been, you know, told to me in. my 500 a.m., you know, prayers that I I. just really see myself in my 40s looking. better than I've ever have. >> I also see myself being um in major. movies with major actresses and actors. and, you know, I just there's just so. much that is coming. >> Sit down and make a vision board. That's. what I do with my team every year. >> I saw you guys do one not too long ago. Yeah. >> Yeah. Every year we do vision boards and.

it's phenomenal what comes. >> I've been like writing. >> profusely lately and a lot of the things. that I've kind of like started jotting. down are starting to kind of come. through. My manager's been calling me. about certain things and I'm like, "No. way." I'm like I take a picture. I'm. like, "I wrote this down.". >> So words are spells. >> Oh my god. I'm telling you, words are. spells, so you be careful what you cast. >> And then this year, too, more. importantly, I don't ever want to speak.

about. >> just certain things anymore. >> You don't have to. You left you left it. all here. Like literally, that's why I. said this has been like that set me. free. And then now what I've been doing. to kind of just move forward. Um, and. then me saying sober and all of this. like I if there's ever been a time where. I've said I'm a force, it's definitely. >> beyond that now. like. >> the force that I am [laughter]. >> about to become come. >> is you know I'm excited for myself more.

than anything cuz I'm like damn I have. been through some. >> and yes I've loved harder than a but now. it's time to kind of you know. >> you don't realize the power you have. until someone tries to chip away at it. and take it from you. Yeah. Absolutely. And that's kind of what this year has. been. Power the. >> so much like even with. >> Love and Hip Hop, what happened with me. on Love and Hip Hop. I didn't realize I. was that.

it was I was that big. >> until that happened and then I was just. like, "Wow.". Um, not just with my words, but my. me as a whole, you know? >> Does anybody even watch Love & Hip Hop. since you left? It's so funny because. that's literally what I was going to. say. I was going to say I literally get. stopped non-stop. I get messages. non-stop in public. >> The amount of people that tell me on a. dayto-day and it's literally like and I.

live so far out. I get old people. I get. like [laughter] people from different. walks of life. [clears throat] I had a. oriental woman stop me and like at the. airport in um LA and she was just like, you know, I don't watch Love and Hip Hop. anymore since you left. Um, so. >> they need to bring you back. They'll. bring you if they wanted to bring you. back, would you go back? >> I left off at a pretty good coin. >> Yeah. And you know what's crazy? I was. actually on my last year contractually. with them. >> Mhm. And had I not been fired, I would.

have to wait two years to even do. Zeus. >> Oh wow. I was actually offered Zeus. around the time I got divorced, but I. was contractually bought in. So, Lemie. was like, "I'll wait and do this with. you." So, I was actually supposed to. like I've been offered this show years. ago. Um, but contractually I wasn't. So, being that I got fired, there was no. binding and I was able to go right into.

what I was. So, that was a that was a. blessing even though it was it came from. an unfortunate situation. But to answer. your question, um. I don't think they could afford me with. what I'm going to ask for just because. out of the the disrespect and the. disregard that they kind of um how they. dealt with me. It was just disgusting. >> Well, I think you felt like you were. loyal to them and they just. >> for 15 years I let these people I did. everything these people told me to do in. the very beginning because I didn't know. no better and that brought in all the.

ratings that they needed and it it took. on a life of its own. New York. transpired where they were able to do. all these other cities. >> Yeah, that was a great season. >> So, it's safe to say like, you know, I. definitely was the guinea pig and, you. know, I also inspired other women to be. casted on this franchise to, you know, to do what they do. So, it it's it's. good to know that. But, um, yeah, I left. off at a pretty good penny with them. I. was getting I was probably one of the. highest paid, if not the highest paid.

Um, so you deserved every penny of it. >> Yeah. So for them to call back and and. then um they they better apologize to me. too. [laughter]. >> She said the apology better the. disrespect. >> Yeah. I mean. >> I feel like when you're owed an apology, it's only right you get one. So. >> absolutely. Well, I just want to tell. you Erica, thank you for coming here and. >> thank you for having me. I swear I was. praying like when that when everything. was just coming at me at once, I was. like okay. And my my my manager was.

like, "Okay, whatever you said right. now," because I was kind of. >> whatever I could. I did say a few things. on the internet, but it wasn't getting. anywhere. People weren't they were just. caught up in the visual that was like. literally viral everywhere. >> And I was just like, you know what? I'm. not going I'm just going to put out a. statement. And I put it out with TMD. that I just wanted it to stop. But. really, that was just to kind of. bring my self to the drawing board. And. I sat on it for days.

and just prayed because I knew I had to. tell you can't lie on me like this and. think I'm not going to tell the truth. >> Yeah. So I just prayed for because I. knew it had to be right and not only. done right, but the. >> the timing of it. >> had to make perfect sense. Like I wanted. that wave to be rode out the way it was. >> Yeah. Because the truth of the matter is. that that that's what it wanted. It.

wanted the m it wanted the attraction. It wanted the views. It wanted the. subscribers. And it showed its true. colors when it started promoting the. number of subscribers it got. You know. what I'm saying? So the the motive Yeah. The motive [laughter] it got. >> is it's there. It's just people are so. used to wanting to hate me. >> that. >> I pray that they, you know, they fell. for the hoopla. I pray that they see. your growth in this podcast though. because even in all the interviews that. I've watched you in, you've always been.

so kind of like rahrh and here you're. just like look man this is what it is. This is what happened. I'm not who that. person is. Let me. >> I mean and don't get me wrong I'm a. crazy but my crazy has some substances. Like there's a reason behind the crazy. >> Oh no. There's. >> you know what I'm saying? Like if you want people to believe I'm. just crazy for no reason, you know, like. that I'm not gonna allow because all. every ounce of crazy that comes from. this.

>> Mhm. >> There's there's a reason. >> Yeah. There's a method to the madness. >> Oh my god. A huge method for imagine. And every action for every action. there's a reaction. >> Absolutely. >> You know what I'm saying? And it's like. >> So yeah. So we're leaving this in the. past. Thank you. Thank you for giving me. an opportunity to kind of. >> lay it all out because literally when I. tell you I am I feel so liberated. It is. what it is. The truth is told. And if. I'm spoken about.

>> by it ever again, you guys hear it. first. It's because it needs clout, which it it does. I mean, look what it's. done with it exotion on the skin. >> The other ex, you know what I'm saying? the other ex still to this day gets. bamboozled by this fool's, you know, thirst to be talked about, you know, >> and she's married with with kids and has. accomplished so much in her career. You. would think it would leave it alone, but. [laughter]. why don't you tell everybody where they. can find you if they already aren't.

following you. Erica Mena on Instagram and then I also. have a YouTube only one Erica Mena and. then I have my tit Tik Tok which is only. one Eric Mena as well and yeah I'm. excited for this. Thank you so much. >> I love you girl and I can't wait to see. you flourish in 2020. >> Thank you for being who you are cuz. literally like every bit of success. you're getting from this podcast is so. deserving. I actually see this being a. show one day like. >> a manifested baby manifest. So you.

podcast, you got your like we need talk. shows. We need that's what we're trying. to do. That's what we're aiming to do. >> I I got chills just saying it cuz I so. see this being like you're a talk show. host. I appreciate podcast. >> I appreciate you so much. >> You're a talk show host, baby. >> I appreciate you. [laughter] Thank you. guys for tuning in to another episode of. Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next. week. Bye.