Dr. Tara | Dumb Blonde Podcast

[music]. Is this thing on? What's up you sexers? Welcome to another. episode of Dumb Blonde. Today we have. the internet's resident expert. Okay, I'm going to try to pron. Dr. Tara and then how do I say your last. name? Suinati chai porn.

>> I love the fact that you're a sex expert. and the last word in your name is. >> okay. >> Howing ironic is that? >> I'm from Thailand and means a blessing. >> Oh, I love that. But in America, it. means something completely different. [laughter]. >> Well, you know, it's funny cuz whenever. I tell my last name to my students in. college, there will always be boy. students that go, "It's a blessing here, too.". >> I mean, but you're hot, too. So, I. couldn't even imagine you being a. teacher. Like that would be wild. >> I get hit on. >> I was gonna say you have to get hit on.

all day long for And then what do you. what would you teach? You weren't. teaching, were you? >> I do. Yeah, I teach humanity in college. >> Oh my. Okay, so let's we got to start. let's start from the beginning here. So. how does somebody. get into this type of line of work? I. mean like did you just were you like. suppressed in childhood and this was. kind of like your way of making up for. being suppressed or did you just wake up. one day and was like, you know what, I. want to be like Dr. Ruth, >> are you a therapist? Because that's. accurate. [laughter].

>> Well, I mean, listen, I talk about time. because I grew up in a really religious. home. So, I think uh my way of kind of. like taking my power back um as being a. child was to be able to express how I. want to and to be like out there, you. know? So, I'm only assuming that. >> that might be what happened with you. >> That was a big part that contributed to. me pursuing this career. Uh I'm. originally from Thailand, from Bangkok. And for those that don't really know. Thai culture from like the local.

perspective, it's very very. conservative. >> I think [clears throat] movies like. Hollywood movies like Hangover, right, makes it look like Thailand is super. But that's only for foreigners, >> right? >> It's like for tourism, but for us people. that grow up there, it's very. conservative. Isn't that kind of like a. like just a weird conundrum that you. like you guys are so strict but yet to. the tourists it's such a. >> Yeah because it's a big GDP like we make. a lot of money from foreigners coming.

here to [ __ ] so we'll make it okay but. yeah not not for us not for for Thai. people so growing up in that environment. and then also I went to an all girls. Catholic school. >> oh my goodness. >> so all of all of those combined and also. like never had any sort ofation and. parents never talked about. They were. the people that like close my eyes when. there's like some sort of on in the. movies. >> As somebody who grew up with parents who. didn't talk about how did you discover. did you have to figure it out on your.

own. >> like most teenagers? >> Yeah. H. And that's such a I feel like and. coming from the industry, the adult. industry that I was in, I truly feel. like is. >> now it's getting better, but back in the. day it used to be so glamorous and like. it's just not realistic. >> No. >> You know, so the expectations that. children are I don't even want to say. children, but when you're of that age to. >> Oh, I was a child when I found my first. >> Really? How old were you? >> And it was. [laughter].

>> so I love getting ever since then. I was. maybe 11. >> Okay, gotcha. >> Yeah. And I mean statistically research. shows that people like kids nowadays. actually find materials around that age. too. So when I tell parents like you. should start talking to your kids about. around 10, they're like 10, they're. children, they're so young. I'm like. uh-uh they're not. They have smartphones. or if if they don't, their friends do. They will run into something like it's. better to just be open with your.

children so they talk to you. Yes. >> You're the person they come to. >> Absolutely. And I didn't realize that. until our daughter who's 17 now. When. she would come home and ask us. questions, >> you look 17. >> Oh, I appreciate you so much. When she. would come home from like middle school. and tell me like some of the stuff that. the kids were talking about, I was like, and I don't clutch my pearls, but I was. just like, "Oh my god, you're only like. 10 or 11. Like, this is crazy. How are. you guys learning this stuff?" How would. you suggest that parents even start that. conversation with their kids?

>> Yeah. uh 100% start young. So even when. they were young kids, use the right. terms like don't use madeup terms. because what that insinuate to children. is they should be ashamed of theirity. and their body parts. >> I love that. >> people won't say vagina or vulva. They. will just say well your flower like. don't touch your flower heart. I'm like. it's not a flower. [laughter] It's a. vagina. Just is a medical term. >> It looks like a grenade went off in a. deli counter. [laughter] Right.

>> I don't know about yours, but. >> I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm kidding. >> Not a flower. Maybe an orchid, but. >> mine might be a flower compared to that. [laughter]. >> But yeah, like I would highly suggest. never using euphemisms with children. because that does send a subconscious. signal that children will process later. in life that give them anxiety. Um that. like that their body is dirty, that. their genital is dirty. So just use. medical terms. There's nothing to be. ashamed of to say vagina.

>> Are we allowed? Do you think using the P. word is a little bit much? >> Yeah. >> I mean, I would use the word my. children, but that's my berogatory. >> Um, but yeah, I think I mean the word is. a slang. >> Okay. >> Right. So, it depends. >> Always use medical terms. >> Yeah. Ever since they're children, like. even if they're five and they're. touching themselves, which children are. very um curious and they don't know what. things mean. It's adults that assign. these like bad meanings. So if they're. just like touching themselves like mommy. like what's this and you know why I.

don't have that that's dangling just say. like well you have a vagina he has a. penis and they are different and you. know just use medical terms with. children but when they get to 10 years. old I think 10 is the golden age of. actually having a. >> how would you even begin that like do. you wait till they bring it up to you or. do you just sit them down one day and. say hey look we're about to learn about. the birds and the bees. >> so you sit them down, but you don't say. the birds and the bees. >> Okay. Cuz that's.

>> euphemisms. Yeah. You just sit them down and say, "Hey, this is nothing serious, but I. would love to know like. >> any of your friends at school are. talking about yet.". >> You want to ask a question first. You. never want to just tell them what to do. >> It never works. We have so much research. that tells us that telling kids what to. do just doesn't work. >> Yeah. Especially when it comes to. exploringly. So what you want to do is create space.

And how do you create space? What do you. do right now? Ask questions, right? >> So your 10 yearear-old or your. 12-year-old like ask. So have you been. hearing people talking about school or. your friends or do you know anything. about like let me know tell me let's. talk about it right? >> Uh it's okay like just say it's okay. Let's talk about it. I mean I have you. know and one day you'll have let's talk. about it. So ask them the question and. then they'll start telling you a little. bit and then sort of be inquisitive and. ask them more questions and then from.

there it's easier. >> So I definitely want to circle back to. your story but I just have one more. question to add on to this. >> When how soon Okay. So what if your. child is like 14 15 and they want to. start exploring having. >> do you still have that same open-minded. conversation with them? >> Yes 100%. Okay. >> Like I said, you want to be the person. they always come to. >> You don't want them to learn from. anywhere else. >> Exactly. Yes. And I I understand that. But what if like you are just like, you. know, if you want to like tell them to.

wait or like, you know, wait until you. fall in love or is there a right time to. tell a child when they can and can't. have, >> even if you say you can't, they will if. they want to, >> right? >> And what you don't want to happen is. them hiding you, hiding from you, >> right? Um because the worst thing that. happens is when kids feel too ashamed to. talk to their parents. It's the saddest. thing because they then have to go talk. to someone else and sometimes they find. a comfortable person to talk to online.

>> and that could be some creepy dude, you. know, in. >> living in his mom's basement. >> Yeah. Try to like be the comfort person. that accepts her like you don't want. that. You want her to come to you. So. yeah, always be open-minded. And if. she's like, "Yeah, I don't know. Like my. boyfriend and I have been together 6. months and we're thinking about it.". Just like listen, you know, whatever you. want to do, you have the power to choose. and I support you. But remember, here. are the qualifications of good sex. >> Like one, he must respect you. Do you.

feel respected most of the time or all. the time? Because you should. And if. there are times where you feel like I. don't know, he's kind of weird about. that, >> then don't don't have him yet because. you need to be respected at all times. >> And then two, like do you think he will. focus on your pleasure? Because. remember, especially for girls, for. young girls, like. >> your pleasure means more. >> Right. >> Right. Don't just. >> You're not there for just him, >> right? Don't just let him take over and.

you know he he's done, right? Like no. >> I love that. I love teaching young women. to have the boundaries. And luckily, our. daughter is so open with me about. everything that she does. That makes me. happy. But in the beginning when she. first came to me about, you know, like. >> especially because of the the lifestyle. that I was in, I just wanted to shield. her so much from it because I just know. how bad it can get like if you get real. deep into it. But then I also had to. remember that her life isn't the one. that I lived. So yeah, totally. So,

circling back, you grew up in an all you. grew up in a strict home, went to an all. girl Catholic school. Take me from. there. >> Oh, well, so then uh I got the. opportunity to go um to a high school in. Finland. So it was the very first time. to branch out of my like environment in. Thailand with like all the Asian girls. to a co-ed school with like girls and. boys and also in Europe where they don't. care too much about nudity or genital or.

you know they don'tize things because. being naked is fine. >> Yeah. Don't they have all the nudest. beaches out there and stuff? >> They do. And they also have saunas where. they go in naked. >> Yeah. Like they don't wear bathing suit. They actually don't allow bathing suits. Um, they go into sauna naked. >> and everybody out there is so beautiful. >> and they don't care. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. They don't care. What I really. love is they practice body neutrality. >> So, it's not body positivity where. you're like, "Oh, love your body. You're. so beautiful." Right. Like, they don't. care about that. They're just like, "Listen, my body works.".

>> Yeah. >> You know, my body is effective. >> I've never heard that. I've never heard. that before. Body neutrality. >> Body neutrality. Like, I love my body. cuz it works, >> right? I love that. And you don't have. to, you know, beautify it or Yeah. >> No, that's beautiful. >> Yeah. And so in Finland, you know, it. was my first time being around like. naked people going into saunas. They. didn't care. >> being around boys. >> Girls and boys and people of all ages. So like teacher like, you know, grandpas, [laughter]. >> everyone.

>> It was also my first time seeing an old. person's. >> Oh god. And they're weird looking, man. I back in my day, I've seen a few. And. just the old wiry hairs. I can't stand. it, dude. I hate it. [laughter]. >> When I was a teenager, >> I smell like Old Spice. I can't do it. I'm having flashbacks. >> Oh, [laughter]. >> but yeah, that was like that was my very. first time just learning that like my. body isn't bad and like. >> genitals aren't bad. Um,

>> I wish America was more on the body. neutrality because that's such a. beautiful just. >> way to teach people how to just love. themselves. Yeah. >> Whereas out here it's just it's such a. fake, >> you know, body positivity, but. everybody's had surgeries. We have all, you know, I've had Botox. I've had my. lips done. We've all done Botox. >> Yeah. Exactly. I love Botox. I will. never live without it. But it's like, you know, if had we have been wired on. the body neutrality, we probably. wouldn't have felt the way that we do.

now, you know? >> Yeah. A lot of pressure. >> Yeah, for sure. >> So, what is it like going to school with. boys the first time? Like, how was that. for you? And were you away from your. parents? >> Okay. >> The first time that I was away from. parents, people were naked. >> I mean, this sounds like a great time. [laughter] Sounds like summer camp. >> And just lots of tall, attractive people. everywhere cuz Scandinavia. >> Oh, yeah. And they're all beautiful. Like it's just crazy. >> Yeah. So, it was it was really crazy. I. had a lot of exploration.

>> Wow. >> A lot. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. Like when people ask like when did. you when did you start exploring? I'm. like my hoe face started a long time ago. when I was a teenager. >> I love it. Yeah, same for me too. Um I. don't I don't know how much we can get. into like your expert expl explorations. um underage cuz you know everybody. nobody nobody knows how to deal with. anything like that and if we talk about. stuff like that people get offended. But. you did discover yourity while you were. away and you were going to this school.

and is that kind of like what inspired. you to want to go on the path that you. chose for living for work? >> Yeah. Yeah. So um out of all like my. background combined, right? Then I moved. to the United States. Uh you know like. >> Oh god, you went from Finland to. freaking the United States. >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, but I moved to LA. which to me is still quite likeally. liberated. >> Yes. Comparing to Thailand, it is more. >> definitely not body neutrality out there. though. >> No, [laughter].

no. A lot of pressure. Yeah. A lot of. pressure for beauty. But in terms of. like sex and I mean there were like. everybody, right? There's West. Hollywood. There's like there's just. everybody. So it was really cool. Um but. you know. >> people often ask like wow like becoming. this like global expert like were you. always like this? like, "No, I was when. I first came to America, I was just like. an anxious immigrant girl from Thailand. I was I was anxious. I was quite quiet.".

Um, and I really like it was hard for me. to make friends because I didn't speak. fluent English. >> My dad sent me to an accent reduction. school so I can speak standard English. >> I didn't even know they had those. >> Yeah. For international student to like. learn how to not have an accent. >> to Yeah. to sound American. Oh. >> yeah. So I mean I think it pays off. because like I've received a lot of. speaking opportunities. I think it's. probably also because that I um that.

it's easy to understand me, >> right? >> But yeah, so I moved to America. uh I. was in LA and I was pursuing higher. education and at that point I was doing. my master's degree and in my master's. degree I learned uh that sex is one of. the most oh actually is the most. universal problem that all couples. around the world have regardless of. their race, ethnicity, gender, age, how. much money they make. Like. >> everybody has a problem at some point in.

their lives. When you was like blown. away. >> That is crazy. When you say problem, what do you mean? Cuz I feel like it's a. great problem to have. Or is it? >> No, it's any kind of problem. So, it can. be physical problems. So, like dry. vagina, erectile dysfunction, can't last. long, like any sort of physical. problems. It can also be psychological. problems. So, sexual shame, anxiety, >> addiction, right? Um it could also be uh. almost like a relational problem like in.

a relationship where you are in a. sexless marriage uh or you're in a. relationship where one person is. resentful because they initiate more. other so there's a lot of problems in. different aspects and. >> Gotcha. When you were saying I thought. you were talking about like having too. much. >> Yeah. And I was like I don't know if. that's a problem. >> No. [laughter] Yeah. But yeah, I think. uh when I read that I was like, damn. Like I want to be the solution to that. problem because it's so universal.

>> Yeah. Did you have anybody that inspired. you to want to go down that route, too? Cuz I know that there was Dr. Ruth and. then there was what was that other. lady's name who used to suck the. bananas? Sue. I [ __ ] love Sue. Dude, [laughter]. she's amazing. And I've always like been. obsessed with those two women. And even. when I started my podcast, I used to say. the degenerate love child of Dolly. Parton and Dr. Ruth because I've just. they were so influential back then, you. know. So I I love that they influenced. you also. >> 100%. Like Dr. Ruth. Yeah. 100%. I.

definitely like even now like you know. when I whenever I talk about brand I. always say like I am becoming the Oprah. of. >> Yeah. >> You know like interviewing people about. their and stuff like that. So yeah I I. love it. So ever since then I started. pursuing this career and then I got my. PhD um in four years and then once I got. my PhD I became a college professor and. that's like my first career and still is. my career as a college professor. teaching humanity.

>> That's so cool. I love how driven you. were and how you just, you know, coming. from, you know, coming to America, not. even being able to speak English, going. to school to learn how to, you know, dampen your accent, and then saying. like, you know what? I'm going to take. over America and become their therapist. Like, that's dope. >> Thank you. I love that so much. >> Thank you. >> Um, so we have your man sitting over. here, too. Can you tell me a little bit. about how you guys met? And then we're. going to dive into some questions that. my Patreon members have cuz there's so.

many of them and I'm so excited to talk. about. >> I love answering. Yes. So my husband. Brent uh we met on the plane. We were. heading out to Europe. So it was from LA. and it was like LA to New York and it. was that first 5 hours. Then he went to. Italy and I went to Greece. But we sat. next to each other. I remember when I. got on the plane and as I was walking. down the aisle, like I kept looking at. my ticket and I look at that hot guy. over there and I'm like, "Oh, I hope I. sit next to him." And as I approached,

I'm like, "I am sitting next to him. >> You manifested it.". >> Yeah. And he was drawing. So like. >> Oh, go figure. He's an oil painter, guys. >> Yeah. Yeah. He's an oil painter big. time. And as I approached, I was like, "Hey, like, yeah, that's my scene." And. uh he was drawing. So, you know, as I. sat down and got settled, I'm like, "So, like, what do you do? Like, what are you. what are you doing?" And so we started. talking about his art and he just lights. up like I have never seen in anyone in. my entire life. He just when people live. truly in their passion. Yes.

>> You just feel the energy. >> And at that time like I haven't felt. that kind of energy in a man. So when he. introduced himself and he started. talking about his career like I was. drawn like I was like I want that. I. want [laughter] in. >> Well I want him and me and I want in. But yeah, that's that's how we met and. then we sort of just been uh hanging out. ever since. And we got married two years. ago. We met 5 years ago and we got. married two years ago. >> A I love that. That is so like. serendipitous. >> Yeah. Oh my god. Yes. Because our.

original flights were cancelled both of. us. >> Wow. Oh, it was meant to be. So, what's. it like being Is his microphone over. there? >> Hold on. We're going to ask him a. question because he's he's married to a. therapist, so I have to ask, you know. Okay. Hi, Brent, right? >> Yes. >> Hi, Brent. So, being married to a What's. it like being married to a therapist? >> Oh, it's uh I mean, I think you know the. answer. [laughter]. >> Yeah. I mean, is it like amazing? Like, how do you guys.

>> Well, okay. I'll I'll say the one one of. the huge benefits that I think maybe. people wouldn't think of is um her. communication is like she's got a PhD in. communication. So [laughter]. I always know what she's thinking, how. she's feeling because she's telling me. and she taught me that as well, which is. like. >> a love language. >> It is like the most valuable thing to. have ever. Like any type of disagreement. we get in, it's over in 3 to 5 minutes.

and we're moving on to bigger and better. things. >> Absolutely. So that's a great part and. great. >> that's. all that's all given [laughter] cuz. that's really what I was getting at cuz. it's like. >> therapist I feel like the pressure is on. like you would have to really perform in. bed all the time. You know, that's. really funny because when I first. started, I sort of feel like that, but. then I've been in this, you know, doing. this for eight years. So, for me, it's. just being authentic in bed. I think. people love authentic people everywhere,

but particularly in bed, we're very. vulnerable. So, like, as long as you put. in the effort, show yourself. authentically, and like be really into. it cuz that's what people want. Like, people don't want, you know, people to. just lay down. Yeah. >> Right. Like just be into it. like you. know even even when [clears throat] even. when I give a I'm into it you know I'm. doing the. >> like. >> have you ever have you ever given a. class on how to give a blow like how Sue. did you remember how she would like put. the condoms on the banana and like twist. her hands and like really get it going.

like have you ever done that. >> I haven't but I I aspired to do that. viral on Tik Tok. >> I know but then they will delete it. >> I mean I I wonder if you there's like. some way you could do. >> a lot of community guidelines. >> YouTube yep Mimi said YouTube you could. do it on YouTube some guy waxes straight. great but on YouTube. I'm talking like. spread cheeks. You can see Did you see. it? >> I had him on my podcast, >> bro. He's amazing. I love him. But. Leonardo. >> Yes. But he straight up waxed his butt. YouTube and the N guy. >> Millions of views, dude. So, you could.

definitely do it. Um, okay. So, do you. mind answering some questions? >> Questions. Thank you, Brent, too. And. you can chime in anytime you want. You. got a microphone. >> Oh, nice. >> Yeah. >> Hold on one second. And then we're going. to talk about your book, too. Thank you. Okay, this question to me was so I. didn't understand it, but then actually. as I read the com the the um the. question, it kind of made a little bit. of sense. So she said, "When I have an. orgasm, why does it make me cry? It's. not a sad it's not sad or anything like.

that. My partner and I have been. together for about 12 years and. everything is fine. It's not like an. ugly sobbing cry, but more like a. release.". >> I love this question. Um and it brings. awareness to this topic. So that is. called crygasm. >> I never knew that. >> Have you had it? >> No. >> Yeah. So crygasm is a very real thing. and lots of people, particularly women, but some men too, experience it. It's. because when you have a really intense. orgasm, your whole body and your.

hormones and your physiology is all like. heightened and very enhanced. So it's. quite normal to have different sort of. release. Some people may release it. through like grabbing something really. hard. Some people may release it through. like squeezing their vagina uh walls. really hard. Some people release it. through crying. So crygasm is actually a. good sign. >> So that just means that she feels so. good that she their only way to just get. it out of her is incredible. Yeah. >> Wow. Her man must be putting it down. I.

have you ever had a cryasm? Anybody. here? >> Yeah. >> Crygasm? No. >> Damn. I think I may have. >> Yeah. I bet I you and I definitely have. >> Yeah, we have had crygasm. >> Yeah, >> you guys do or don't. >> We have. We have. >> A I love you guys. That means you guys. are just really getting into it. [laughter]. >> Can we talk about because so many people. are like fascinated by other people are. like disgusted by it because they say. that it's pee.

>> I know how to I know it's not pee. But. what are your thoughts on how does. somebody do it? What is it? All the. things. >> I am a big fan of like I love to Right. >> Me too. I'm a big fan. [laughter]. >> Yeah, she does. >> He makes me like so fast. >> Brent, look at you, buddy. >> Okay, so first of all, I love There's. nothing wrong with people that feel. disgusted. I think you should shift your.

perspective to enjoy it because it feels. amazing for the woman but also to the. partner. >> Um, so what is it? It's liquids from the. skins gland. >> However, so the liquid from the skins. gland uh is the majority of it. However, if you push the whole system really. hard, sometimes there's pee in it. >> for sure. >> Um, sometimes, right? And and again, pee. is actually not dirty. P is sterile, right? Like pee is cleaner than your.

mouth. >> Wow. >> Yeah. Pee is sterile. >> Ask Brent. He's a doctor. >> I never knew that. >> Yeah. Yeah. Pee is clean. It It's. sterile. So. >> So that's why some people drink pee like. when they do like these crazy like. >> Oh yeah. I think that's like sort of a. new age remedy thing. >> You've seen it, right? Like people are. drinking it on TikTok actually. >> I've seen it on Instagram reels. That's. a dark dark place in there. But um yeah, some people I've seen drinking their. pee. So that's why because it's sterile. >> It's sterile. Yeah. I mean, I don't. recommend drinking pee.

>> Yeah. Yeah. We do not recommend drinking. pee. Just [laughter] a heads up. >> However, it's not disgusting to just. like, you know, have a little bit of pee. and your skin's glands, liquids um on. the bed or on you or in your face or on. your fingers or whatever. So, that's. what it is. And then how. >> um for the women, >> you need to really completely relax. Yes, >> you would say. So, right. That's key. because before I was able to was. >> because I couldn't relax.

>> too tense or if your mental is not. there, you're not going to be. [clears throat] able to do it. >> Mhm. Um so you have to be able to relax. your whole body completely and that. comes with like foreplay, taking deep. breaths and like really feel it building. in your body and like sort of push it. out. Mhm. >> Um, another thing is using a V on your. clitoris when you get penetrated either. by a fing by fingers or penis or a toy. because when you clitorally, you have.

more capacity to like also have. ejaculatory orgasm orgasm. >> So that can help too. Um, for newbies, I. think that might help them easier and. then one day you can try without it. >> Yeah. Also, there's a technique that a. guy can use his fingers and when he. pushes pushes down. Yes. To come hither. when he pushes down on your stomach and. goes like this. Like you can that way. too. There's so many ways. Is there a. certain position that you would. recommend to beginners who are trying to. learn how to.

>> Yes. Uh well, so it's easiest when you. are getting fingered. So I recommend. putting a pillow under the butt because. then you're about 45° up and then have. him use like or her use one or two. fingers and then do the come hither. motion while um pushing on the mons like. the pubic area. >> Um however even before you get there. though you do need to like warm up the. whole body. >> Yeah. You can't just go straight in. >> Yeah. Yeah. The vagina is not a separate. system. You got to warm it up in the. winter time.

>> Yeah. So like lick theles, massage the. breast, kissing like you need the whole. body first and then yeah go there start. doing the come hither do the pillow. under the butt and I think it's easier. to um way. >> I love that. I hope this helps people at. home too. >> Yay. >> And let's dive into some more question. >> I'm 31 years old and me and my husband. have four kids. My husband is a very to. the point I cannot keep up. How and what. can I do to up my drive? M.

have him do more chores, [laughter]. >> have him pull more weight around the. house. Right. >> That's my real first answer because. based on research, women who don't have. to do chores as much are. >> Wow. >> Yeah. That's why we I mean I say chore. play is foreplay. >> Wow. >> Yeah. Like when women are so. overwhelmed, there is no space to be. No. space. >> Yeah. Mentally, you're just not there. You're tired. Even if I give you, you.

know, three tips to boost your libido, like you can't do it if you're. overwhelmed, right? >> So chore play is foreplay. That's first. And then like once you're not so. overwhelmed, then here are some of the. tips based on research that really. works. Yeah. >> Um one is exercise cuz you need blood. flow. >> If you are working at a computer and. then taking care of your children and. then laying in bed to go to bed, like. there's no blood flow, right? Like maybe. you walk a little bit, but you need that. intensity. like you need the the hit. workout or like you know um stair master.

like you need to boost the heart rate. and help with blood flow. Um when you. say getting. >> it means that your blood flow goes to. your vulva right the whole vaginal area. So if there's no blood flow there's not. going to be blood flow that can go to. your vulva and vagina and therefore you. can't get. >> right. So, exercise, walks, like. whatever, move your body. That would be. the first one. >> Um, the second one is more foreplay.

throughout the day. >> Uh, a lot of fasting and like teasing. >> Yeah. A lot of long-term couples tend to. have a very dormant life and then try to. have penetrative sex, >> right? >> Women can't do that. Like, most women. can't. Like, they have to feel like. desired throughout the day. Like, I'm. wanted, I'm desired, I'm Yes. daddy like. right like you can't get to oh I'm. working on the computer and my is. dormant and to and get home and be like.

daddy like you know you can't get there. um so there needs to be flirting. throughout the day if you know it's your. like. >> next date day um throughout the day. there needs to be some sort of courtship. going on and that needs to be revived. because I think people forget when. they're in long-term relationships. And then lastly, I mean there are a lot. of like people that say, you know, meditation or meditation can help you. feeling more. There's actually real.

experiments and studies in big. universities that show that it works. So. meditation is what I do every day and it. works in keeping me feel. >> Where would you find like meditations at. like on Insight Timer or like YouTube? >> YouTube. Yeah, I have a I have a like a. bunch of guided meditation on YouTube. >> Yeah, >> if you search for me, go on there, press. play, and just listen to me take deep. breaths and do what I say. >> A I [laughter] love that. You're. amazing. I could listen to you talk all.

day long. >> Thank you. >> I And next time my husband says. anything, I'm going to be like, "Chore. play is foreplay.". >> There you go. >> Do the dishes, brother. [laughter]. >> Go do the dishes. >> Chore play is foreplay. I need that. t-shirt. >> Yeah, for sure. Okay. How do I get. comfortable again with my new boyfriend. after a domestic narcissist relationship. that was three plus years? It just feels. like will always hurt and every doctor. said nothing is wrong. I'm just tense. I. need help.

>> I highly recommend seeing a sumatic. therapist. >> Have you heard of that? >> I I've heard of them. I don't know. exactly what they do. Could you explain? >> Yeah. So, in therapy there are three. different sides of therapy. M. >> there is talk therapy which is just like. a regular therapy but it's specifically. about. >> then there's somatic therapy which is. body movement. >> a lot of trauma is stored in the body. and sometimes just talking about it it. doesn't go away. >> but working with the body you can heal.

from it from inside the body. So somatic. therapy actually is is very powerful for. people in that situation. Yeah. Um and. then the third type of therapy is. calledologgical body work. Have you. heard of that one? >> I have not. >> It's very interesting. I actually. discovered this only like 5 years ago. Um it's uh psychological body workers. are um the people that work on your. body. So they touch you and you can. touch them. >> All right. >> As a part of therapy.

>> Where are they touching? Um, depends on. where you have like trauma story and. like where you have gone. >> So, it's not like they're like making. you orgasm in any way. It's a healing. type of therapy. >> They can if you have orgasm problems. A. lot of women can't orgasm. It's called. an orgasmia. >> and you can see a psychological body. worker and they can um basically. therapeutically help you find your. blocks and then like work on your body. and you can also touch them. So, it's. like uh two-way touch if that's like. what's agreed upon cuz of course you.

have to talk about it and there has to. be consent. >> Yeah, absolutely. >> But I have a personal story about that. >> Let me hear. >> I recently saw a psychological body. worker because I have never had orgasm. >> Well, that's it's hard because it's. hurts so bad. Like you're not thinking. about being. >> like uh relaxed because you're so tense. I'm sorry. anal. >> I can't cuz also that's where poop comes. out. >> and sometimes you got a hemorrhoid you. know. >> Yes. [laughter] So it's like sometimes.

the [ __ ] don't feel good. All right. >> I know that's for real. Like you're very. real for that. It's true. >> But yeah, like I talked to some women in. my field and they're like, "Oh my god, amazing. It's like full body. It's so. great." And I'm like jealous. Like I've. never had it. I've it it has always been. painful. Yeah. >> So, I contacted thisical body worker. that actually like works on a TV show in. the UK and um we became friends and she. came to my house uh had a bed and.

everything, right? Cuz like body worker. kind of like a masseuse like they work. on your body. >> How how does someone get licensed to do. this? >> Um so it's not licensed with the state. or the country, but there is. certification. Okay. Gotcha. >> Yeah. So you should only like get. certified. >> Yeah. Don't don't find the guy on. Craigslist. Okay. [laughter] Don't have. some sematic body worker from back page. coming to help you. >> No, not the dude on Craigslist that was. like. >> I can come work on your body. >> Exactly. I know Craigslist is shut down, I think. Right. Oh, really? I don't.

know. I haven't been on there in so. long, but I'm just saying it's like. don't find somebody online unless they. have certifications. >> Yeah. Not Not the people that are like I. can come work on your. >> Yeah, exactly. All right. So, let me. hear the story. I'm sorry I cut you off. >> So, yeah. never had. So, she came over. and like literally it took all day of. like talking therapy about my like butt. and my anal stuff [laughter]. and then go into like different. exercises like breathing. So, I lay down. naked and I started like doing the.

exercise with her. She massaged my whole. body. She like held space for me. Then I. turn around. Then she massage my whole. body. Then massage my butt for a long. long long long time. And then she. started like, you know, having me like. lay on the side and like, you know, open. my legs a bit. So like she can open my. butt cheeks. And then she started like. massaging my hole. >> And then basically Yeah. like took a. long time massaging the hole. Then she. taught me where the issues are and like. where the orgasms can happen. And it's. like the 6:00. >> Wow. So, >> so even in women, cuz I know in men, and.

we'll talk about that next, they have. like a little walnut in there. Do us as. women have one also. >> Yeah. >> Wow. >> Yeah. Well, not prostate per se, but. like we we can also Yeah, we can. >> Or something that can stimulate an. orgasm. >> We can have anal orgasm. Wow. >> Because I just had one. >> So, so she worked on my whole body, worked on my butthole for a long time. Um, put her finger in, put one finger in. first, then two fingers, and then she. used a toy. Um, and then helped me. figure out like which part of the.

butthole uh inside the butt was. pleasurable, which part hurts more. And. then she started doing the stimulation. And yeah, like it took a long time. >> And how did it feel when it finally. happened? >> You know, um, it feels like a deep like. deep bodily release rather than, you. know, clitoral orgasm. That's the. easiest one, right? And that's when your. legs are like shaking or you have to. close your legs. It's not like that. It's very like sort of deep and like in. the body almost like it feels like in. the tummy. >> Mhm.

>> Yeah. It felt great. Where were you when. all of this was going down? [laughter]. >> She was overseas. I was I was back in. LA. I missed I missed all of this. >> I know. She should [laughter] have done. it on FaceTime. >> I know. I'm like, where's Hubby at when. this is going on? >> He's so excited though that now I'm down. for. >> Right. So, have you been able to orgasm. with him now since doing that or are you. still Yeah. No, I just did I just did. this anal retreat like a couple weeks. ago. >> Oh, wow. >> This is all brand new. >> Oh my goodness. >> Even new. >> You guys are going to have to report.

back cuz I need to know. >> I will let you know. >> So, circling back to what we were just. talking about um about, you know, the. the men's gland and the G-spot that's in. there. Can you tell us about how if a. woman wanted to make her husband orgasm. from that spot, how could we make that. happen? >> Yeah, the P spot. I mean, there are. different ways. Uh first way you can. massage the paranium or like the taint. >> You can massage that in like different. um sensations. You can do with just your. fingers first and then try like lube and.

like a lot of lube to see what feels. good for him. Um I heard that uh doing. that coupling that with like a like you. know fireworks so you can massage the. paranium um you can also insert and. that's why some men really loves getting. or in the butt. >> u so you can also insert your finger. maybe one or two fingers uh it's about 1. and 1/2 in inside the butthole.

>> uh and it is a part of the whole like. prostate system. >> So yes, men can have an orgasm and it. doesn't mean ejaculatory orgasm. So they. might not ejaculate, but they can have a. bodily orgasmow from that as well. But. they can also ejaculate if you also um. um stimulate the shaft. >> So you can do all of that combined and. it should feel really good. That's why. some men love when you give them job and. they're about to they're like, "Oh, put. your finger inside me." Cuz it makes it. more intense. >> But some men also just love full-blown.

getting, >> right? >> Yeah. So, let's talk about that. >> men before. >> I have not. Um, I've actually I've had. people try to hire me back in the day in. my old profession to I just never could. It wasn't my thing, but there was other. girls who have done that. Can we talk. about what is and like for people at. home who don't know about it and you. know what are some fun things that. people can do with? >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean putting finger inside. and stimulating some stimulating it that. way is also also sort of like a you.

knowing 101 you know without any I have. people. >> yeah well without any tools right but. like. >> originally or traditionally when we say. we mean um women wearing a strap on. >> that's what I was thinking. >> and then so like. >> right. >> um and to do that you need to go then. first like go purchase. the the whole harness purchase the whole. harness and you know the.

strap on and usually if men are newbies. they want to start with something really. small so like a 4 inch um. >> listen if men can't even handle how. [laughter] do you guys think we can. handle your big old the first time. >> preach sis I know yeah I mean like if. you want to do me a I do you a. >> me you I [laughter]. love But yeah, like if if you're new to. there's a lot of like resources online. like how to pet, but it's generally like.

wearing the on lubing it a lot with lube. and then also start with massaging his. body so it's relaxed and warm. >> When you say massaging, do you mean like. just putting your two fingers on the. outside? >> Yeah. Okay. >> Uh but you can't have like super long. nails. So. >> yeah, I wouldn't think that these would. be fun in [laughter] there. That would. not be good. >> You don't have nails. >> Yeah. No. No, >> but yeah, massage the whole the. starfish. Massage the hole. Um, keep it. like warm and loose. And you can also. even start with like just one finger and.

like kind of lube it around like this. and then yeah, slowly inserting. >> So I never knew putting a finger in the. have I actually one of my exes I I with. a so I guess that's considered too also. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Got it. So I. guess I have. >> So your experience. >> I've just never worn the strap. >> Not that I have anything against it. I. just don't think that I don't I don't. think my thrust technique would be. great, you know? I need to work on my. thrust. >> I [laughter] feel like it just feels so. powerful to have a. >> literally. Have you people?

>> I have. >> Yeah. >> Not him cuz he's not into. >> Yeah. Well, oh, you're not into it, but. you into it on himself. >> He will. >> But here here's another thing going back. to your question about uh marrying. aologist. is. >> uh I'm now I'm open to anything. Um, I. mean, >> were you like that before? >> No way. No. No way. I grew up in a very. >> loving parents, but very conservative. Like, I was ashamed of sex. Um, so,

>> and we don't mean conservative in. general. We mean sexually conservative, right? >> Sexually conservative. Yeah. Um, so. marrying her and being with her, she's. opened my mind that I kind I'll never. say never to anything. So, I'm I'm I'm. always looking to grow and learn. And. >> that means I get to him tonight. I was. going to say [laughter] I was going to. say get the strip out, baby. Let's go. >> 8 in one. >> He's over here blushing right now. He's. like, "Nope, didn't mean that.". >> Yeah. [laughter] Not tonight. >> I actually don't remember the brand. I I.

don't want to shout out anyone, but like. I heard that there is a brand that makes. a specific. um strap on for hisole. Like they do. like a It's like a custom made. >> Oh yeah. >> I'm glad they get the the royal. treatment. Meanwhile, women, we just. have to take it. It could be eight, 10, doesn't matter. Curve. mad. >> I'm just [laughter] saying. I'm just. saying. >> No, no. This is high. His girlfriend's. hot, though. His girlfriend is really. hot. Like, he he's he's banging uh.

Brooke and she's beautiful. All right, we're going to ask you a couple more. questions because I feel like this is so. informative, but I'm going to go into my. Patreon because Oops, hold on. I just. hit Pandora. >> Let's do it. >> I could sit here and listen to you talk. all day. Like, you are so informative. But you know what's really cool about. the um information that you give is you. also teach people to you know work. through their trauma and I think that's. amazing because a lot of blockage is. from trauma and actually a lot of. fetishes stem from trauma too you know.

and we always say on this podcast we. never yuck anybody's yum you know and we. do a segment called ask confess every. week and we get some pretty crazy. questions and I feel like I need to just. start shooting people over to you like. go ask Dr. Terra. Yes. Ask me. [laughter]. >> All right. Hold on one second. >> Yeah, we could call in Dr. Tara on the. lifeline. That would be amazing. Um, this person, Haley, said, "I want to. know your opinion on womb meditation.". >> I think it's lovely.

>> I've never heard of it. What is it? >> Yeah. Um, it's like to honor the yoni. and the womb. And I think it's lovely. I. think any sort of like exreated. meditation is lovely and effective. because like I said there's research. that shows through the experiments that. it works. Um and honestly we as women we. don't give honor and love to our womb. that much. We just take it for granted. We take her for granted. >> Yeah. Um, so I think like womb. meditation, yoni meditation,

um, whatever you call it, sacro. meditation, I think it's super super. lovely. And when I say like research. found it works, I mean it really works. on some of the people that actually had. zero drive. There was a study that was. about cancer patients who had like some. sort of cervical cancer. So like. >> these women had no and then after doing. this for like a certain period of time, they all had. So like it works. >> Yeah. No, I love meditation. I'm a hu I.

am a huge meditation advocate. I talk. about it on the podcast all the time. because I like I love. >> anything that is um um a reset. especially for your. >> Yeah. Can I just say it's amazing. because we need more like celebrities to. talk about meditation cuz again like. generally meditation is free. >> Yes. >> And it's literally therapeutic. >> and it's literally breathing. It's. breathing and getting in touch with your. body. I feel like especially because in. this world that we live in, we are all. so detached from ourselves that it's.

like you deserve to give yourself 20. minutes a day of just being inside. yourself and literally if you want to or. you know figuratively speaking but. meditation I just think is so healing. and so so needed. They should teach it. in schools. >> Yeah. Oh yeah yeah yeah. >> Yeah. Do you teach it in your class in. your college classes? >> Yeah. Yeah. I talk about mindfulness and. meditation. What college do you teach. at? >> California State University, Fullton. >> You're going to have everybody and their. mom go sign up for your class. >> I mean, my classes are always full in.

the first 5 minutes. >> I bet. I could only imagine. I If you if. I had a class back in the day whenever I. just was thinking about going to. college, I would have gone to college. just for your class. >> Thank you. Um, so Joanie wants to know, "I I need some advice on what to do. about menopause. I've been going through. this [ __ ] for half my life it seems now. but what helps with hot flashes and my. drive. >> She said evidently I took a wrong turn. and got lost. >> So three things. Uh one there are uh.

menopausal supplements out there that. work. You just need to vet the website. really well. Read their research like. read their clinical trials cuz there are. too many supplements in the world and. some of them are. >> right. Like just. >> and don't buy them off Amazon. No. And. there it's just like made in some. people's like garage. >> Oh. >> yeah. Like so make sure it's legitimate. and but there are like natural. supplements that can help regulate the. menopausal process. So supplements is. one. Um two is using a ton of lube for.

everything including. >> even if they have vaginal dryness will. the l will it it still feel good to. them? >> Still feel good. Yeah. I I love silicone. based lube because it stays slippery a. long time. >> I literally preach silicone lube on the. podcast. I tell everybody, do not use. water based. >> I know. It just goes dry fast. Huh. >> I don't like it. And you get a yeasty. beasty every time. >> Silicone. I feel like you don't beasty. >> Yeah. Like a yeast infection. I can't. stand it. >> That's so cute. It's like a [laughter].

cartoon. Like a Oh my god, we should. make a cartoon. >> Oh my god, that would be so. >> beasty. [laughter]. >> I'm serious. Cuz they're like raging. Like I hate it. I hate Easter. I just. got one two weeks ago because I tried. new lube. I I won't say the brand, but I. tried a new lube. A brand sent it to me, so I tried it. >> and I got yeast infection. It was the. worst. >> No, it's the worst. >> The worst. >> Silicone, you never have that problem. >> No. So, uh, use silicone based lube and. just like become comfortable using it. all the time. >> Uh, because a lot of people have this.

shame still like I'm a woman, I should. get naturally wet or else I'm not. womanly. >> No, >> but that there's also a lot of factors. why you're dry. Like if you're taking. antihistamine like allergy pill, you're. dry. Like. >> it's normal. Um so people don't know. that. They're like, "Oh, I'm dry." Like. I'm, you know, I'm not confident. He. goes down and he's like, "Why are you. dry? Are you not like no like your head. can be?" But your is dry. >> Yeah. There's so many factors. >> There's so many like allergy pills that.

like sometimes I'm just not that wet. >> I literally have silicone lube in my. purse right now. >> Love it. >> Okay. Like I I can pull it out right. now. I that's how much I love lube. I. think there's nothing wrong with it and. I mean just you can have so much fun. with it and never have to think twice. >> Yeah. >> How do you make fun again once you're in. recovery from substance abuse? It was so. much fun before, but now that I'm sober, it's very meh. >> Uh I think it needs a complete rewire of.

the brain. >> Yes. Um, and I've read a lot of. literature or research into like sober. dating. >> And what people will do is they will. integrate like being sober into like. their sexy date. And that sort sort of. starts the wiring process. Yes. >> So what that what that means is when you. go on a date with your boo or someone's. someone you're dating uh is have like. let's say like do do a mocktail tasting. have like five different mocktails and. do like the tasting and actually talk.

about it. Integrate it into your. romantic life first. >> so that it's not it doesn't just feel. like. cuz everything else like it it goes. together. Um so rewire the brain that. like hey like when I feel loved when I'm. in a romantic situation there's no. alcohol. >> Yeah. >> Right. Then when you transition into. having in order to make it more. pleasurable because you used to just. have drunk all the time and now you're. having sober sex is to make sure that.

you integrate props like tools. >> Um the reason why you feel sober is not. as good or it's awkward is because your. brain is literally trained that when you. are drunk is the only time that sex is. pleasurable. like there is a neural. pathway that tells you that and in order. to rewire that, maybe try something. different. So, not the same. So, maybe. it's not just like him trying to. penetrate you. Maybe it's him using a. toy on your.

>> and just change it. Yes. >> Change it. Open new pathways like neural. pathways. Um when people ask me too like. how how come I can't have vaginal. orgasm? It's because that pathway isn't. open yet. you have to work on it and it. takes some time but once that pathway. with your brain and your body is open. and it's connected you can have it all. the time. >> So yeah um I would highly recommend her. to have different types of then when she. had drunk. >> yes. >> including toys and tools and try that.

first and once it's repositioned then. you can go back to the missionary and. the other things you've done before. I. couldn't agree with that more because I. had to go through that when I got sober. in 2017 off of drugs and then off of. alcohol. I got sober in 2018 and I had. to learn how to be. >> So you don't drink anymore. >> Congratulations. >> Thank you so much. I had to relearn how. to beyed. up and it's I'm telling you it is a. journey but you can get there because.

now I don't need anything to feel and. it's kind of like empowering because you. like. >> you know you can turn it on at any time. and turn it off and you don't have to. have the hangover. So everything you. just said is 100% spoton. >> Thank you. >> Yeah. No, it was that was really great. advice. >> I love that he's snoring. >> I I do you see me over here? I'm like. shaking him. I'm like stop snoring. cute. >> I'm going to ask you like two more. questions and then we're going to talk. about your book. I'm 57 years old and. have been in a sexless relationship for. 12 years. >> Any suggestions for a woman um who is.

with a man who just doesn't want. >> Wow. So, first off, I want to tell her. that you are beautiful, >> you are. You are desired. You are wanted. and you don't need him initiating to. tell you that. So I say that first. because I know it's really really really. hard to be in a relationship where the. man it where it feels like the man. doesn't desire you.

>> I have been in a relationship like that. and it wasn't my fault or anything about. me at all actually. He was struggling. with testosterone problem and he he. personally had really low sex drive but. still it had that spillover effect on me. and my self-esteem and the whole time in. that relationship I did not feel good. about myself because I'm like oh like. even my partner didn't want to like you. know so yeah like I completely. understand where she's coming from. although that sounds way more severe 12.

years. >> 12 years. >> yeah would you suggest that somebody. just like I don't know I I would suggest. like, hey, maybe sit this guy down and. if you guys can't come to an agreement. of some sorts of trying to work on it, then maybe you guys need to go. separately. >> Yeah, cuz there's so much life to live. and you're 57. That's not that old. Like, you still have you still have. freaking hopefully 20 more years to. live, you know? Like, go get your groove. on, sister. >> Oh, yeah. And [laughter] silver dating. I mean, I I know it sounds kind of. >> silver dating, but I love that.

>> I know, but that's like people over 55. Like, silver dating. >> [laughter]. >> Silver dating is so popular. >> So popular. >> Old people. My dad literally my dad. passed away last year. Was banging all. the way up until he croked. It was like. they don't care these people. No, [laughter] I'm telling you they old. people. Who were who was just telling me. about the you? What were you telling me? >> They do [laughter] nursing home.

>> Say can you Okay. Say that on the camera. because I think this will be a good. clip. Can we talk about how old people. are? >> Old people are I mean there are some. statistics out there that say like. senior homes or like nursing homes have. the highest STI rates in the in the. country. >> That's insane. I can't. >> believe are way more than Gen Z's like. way more than young people. >> Why do you think that is? Why is. everybody so Because I feel like the. older generation was so repressed. Do. you think they're in like their sexual. liberation now?

>> They are. I think they are in their. sexual awakening and I think when you're. older you're in the it mentality. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. You know, >> obviously going around collecting STI. like badges of honor. [laughter]. >> I have 10 years left. Just going to and. [ __ ]. >> give me gonorrhea, chlamyia, and all and. all of the above. >> I mean, they're already on antibiotics. for like the hips or the back. So, like. it works. [laughter]. >> So, how how are they even getting to. STI? What the hell's happening? Who's. doing thising uh review? like, "Oh, what.

are we doing?". >> But for that woman, I really want her to. be able to match regularly because you. can still get benefits from orgasms by. yourself. Um, and that's like the. cocktail of uh happy hormones. When you. orgasm, you get oxytocin, dopamine, serotonin. It's incredible like the. benefits of orgasming. You don't need. anyone to help you. Like you can just. grab a toy and loop and orgasm on your. own. So I highly recommend that person. regularly to feel that energy and with.

him I mean see a therapist or coach that. can help but at the end of the day if. you can't talk and come to terms with it. >> I I would I I agree with you divorce you. have to do you feel like if you don't. you if you don't use it you lose it you. know that saying do you feel like that's. true. >> 100%. >> me too. >> yeah if you haven't had long time as a. woman your vagina becomes It kind of. like shrinks a little. >> It's cobwebs. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> And it literally It hurts so bad to have.

sex. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. >> So, definitely always twiddle the. twacker cuz it's going to keep us happy. no matter what. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> Help yourself. >> Dr. Tara, thank you for answering those. questions. That was awesome. Let's talk. about your book. >> Yes. >> So, you you just dropped a book actually. or it's coming out for release. >> It's coming out in October. Okay. But. the pre-order is open now and it's. called How Do You Like It? A Guide for. Getting What You Want in Bed. >> I love this. >> Thank you. >> The book com uh combines academic.

research with playful no filter advice. It includes quizzes, writing prompts, and profile tools. >> Yeah, >> tell me about this. >> Have you ever taken the MyersBriggs. test? >> I don't know. Have I? I feel like. >> personality test. >> maybe. Uh is that like the Inagram. >> ENFJ INTJ? Like that one? >> Yeah. So I'm like a 78. >> Wait, that's in That's enagram. That's a. number. So this one is like ENFJ, INTP. >> Oh no, I need to take it. >> Oh yeah. So that's a personality test. I. basically came up with one for So it's.

like a sex personality test. So when you. take it, you'll know like who you are. sexually and you can use it like to talk. about with your date or your partner and. it allows for it. It's a conversation. starter. It really my goal is to help. people in the world start talking about. together and then this will help them. because they will there's a ton of. quizzes in this book. So you take the. quizzes it will tell you like who you. are yourity. uh how you moan like your sexual.

expression type there's all kinds of. quizzes on there that will help you. understand who you are and then be able. to talk about who you are with your. ponder. I think that would be that's. amazing because it can actually like. bring couples together. Like some. couples don't like to talk about if they. sat down and actually like did like a. chapter a day or like a quiz a day like. while they're laying in bed like it. would just spark something between them. >> That's actually America's biggest. problem. I did a huge study based on. 5,000 people. Wow. >> And I found that America's biggest.

problem is not talking about when it. comes to romantic relationship. >> Wow. They don't people don't talk about. >> Do you think it's because they don't. want to rock the boat with each other or. they just don't know how to communicate? >> They don't know how to start. >> Yeah. And it's it's a very vulnerable. topic. It's like where do we start? Where do we go? Do we just ask like does. this feel good? What else do you like? What if they say something that I don't. want to do? Like you know there's. there's a method to how to talk about. it. And in my book I talk about all of. that. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> I love that. So we all got to go. I.

would like to get a copy of your book, too. So maybe order one. You don't have. to. We'll order it. We love to we love. to contribute. Thank you. >> Um, how do you like it? Dr. Terara's. debut book is coming out October 21st, 2025. I love the month of October. I. feel like all good things happen in. October. So, that's amazing. And shout. out to you for your new book. >> Thank you. Thank you so much. >> So excited for you. Do you think this is. going to be the first of many? >> Yeah, the first of many. Yeah. And. hopefully I become uh a New York Times. bestseller. >> Oh, you will. We're putting it in the.

air. We're manifesting it. >> I'm manifesting it. I'm manifesting it. >> I'm telling you. more people need books. like this and it's so relatable and the. way that you're so down to earth. I feel. like people just are comfortable with. you and we need somebody like that in. the world. So yeah, thank you so much. >> I'm excited and writing a book is a very. hard feat. I'm my book drops in. February. So I literally I the fact that. you did this speaks volumes because. writing a book is not easy. >> Thank you so much. >> Yeah, absolutely. Dr. Tara, thank you so. much for coming on the podcast today.

>> Thank you. It has been orgasmic. >> Yeah. Yeah, I'm having like a full body. experience. >> I've got my orgas my what is this? My. >> have an orgasmic day notebook. It's just. a a blank notebook that you can write. your you know your journal. Do you. journal? >> Um I don't I can journal every day. You. can write one sentence every day why. you're proud of yourself. >> There you go. I will do that. I'll do. that for sure. Shout out where everybody. can find you, your socials and all that. stuff. >> Yes. So my website, Instagram, and Tik. Tok are love bites.co. That's l u vb i.

t- s.co. >> I love it. Thank you so much, Dr. Tara. >> Thank you. >> Appreciate you. You got to come back, please. >> I will. This was so much fun. You're. like the best interviewer ever. >> Oh, I love you. >> So calm, but very [laughter] like. inquisitive. It's great. >> I love you. Well, I I literally could. sit here for another hour and talk to. you. So, don't question here. I I have. so many on this paper, right? On this uh. notepad right here. Thank you guys so. much for tuning in to another episode of. Dumb Blonde. I will see you guys next. week. [music] Bye.