Cheating, Backstabbing, & Stories That Crossed Every Line | Ask, Tell, Confess

Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, confess. [music]. Ask, tell, confess. Ask, tell, [music] confess. [singing]. Hello friends. Welcome back to another. Ask, tell, confess.

>> [laughter]. >> That's funny. How's everybody doing? We're batch filming right now. Guess. what? >> you guys in forever. I know. You are. number two on the New York Times best. seller and you are number one in audio. Damn. >> Week three, guys. Yay. >> Number two, baby. I'll take it.

>> Yeah. First the worst, second the best. Let's go. >> [laughter]. >> Who's number one? >> I don't know. Look. Well, you can't yet. It's not published yet. Yeah, we have. the inside. Damn, three weeks on the New. York Times best seller. Let's [ __ ]. go. >> Let's go crazy. I love that. >> Number one in audio. Yay. >> Number one in audio, baby. We're still. number one. That's awesome, dude. I can't. crazy. I think honestly. more people enjoyed listening to you. read it after reading it. So, like a lot.

of people read it and then saw the. reviews of how good the audio was and. then listened to it again after already. reading it and everyone says. it is truly like a storytelling when you. [clears throat] hear your voice say it. I love that. I didn't know this, but at. the time until right before we recorded, but you can win a Grammy for. narrating a book. >> Yes. Yeah. >> I know that. So, I hope that's I just. want to put it in the air that I would. love to win a Grammy. for the book. That would be amazing. How. do you even top that? Do you even write.

another book? >> Literally. >> New York Times best seller three weeks. in a row. [ __ ] um and number one. audio and then a Grammy. Crazy. >> Crazy, dude. I don't know. Thank you, Jesus. I am blessed and I'm thankful for. that. So, All right. Well, I had posted on the. Dumb Blonde podcast Facebook page. I saw. I think it was like I don't know. It was. one of these um social media sites like. Shade Room or something like that had. posted this and I was like, "Oh, this is. a great topic." It's what's the grimiest.

a friend ever did to you. Let me hear. y'all stories. And you guys left a bunch. of stories. So, who wants to kick this. one off? Yeah, I'll go. Go ahead, Mia. >> Cuz I really hope you guys don't take. this one and anyone else. >> I've got a few, so you better not take. mine. This person said they um her. friend flew across the country to visit. her. She drank every drop of booze in. her apartment, went outside to have a. smoke and proceeded to have a loud video.

sex with her boyfriend on the lawn of. her building where 15 other tenants were. living. She told my neighbor this guy. her so good that her looked like ground. beef. Okay. Damn. Dude must have been packing a powerful. punch. Gosh. >> it look like ground beef? That means she. had an Audi. That means she had an Audi. and it just got into ground beast, roast. beast. >> Okay. Yeah. >> They've got the meats.

>> Good for her. Good for her. >> That's crazy. Who just shares that piece. of information with a neighbor? >> I would. I would. That's totally. something I would do and say. I don't I. wouldn't do the whole phone thing. outside, but Wait, they were having. phone sex or real Like video phone But. how did he find her out and before. >> yeah, shared the info with the neighbor. Okay. Yeah. Love that for her. I mean. >> Free spirit. >> Go her. I like it. All right, I'll go next. These are going to go by quick, guys, because they weren't like really long.

and intricate, but. Quick and easy. Slobbed on my baby father's. Hold on. Cali said, "Slobbed on my. baby's father. while I was in the shower. I felt. something before, so my crazy put my. phone on voice record and caught it all. This was like 15 years ago.". Um and somebody in the comments said, "Got their asses." She said, "And I. did." And then she said, "The crazy part. was he tried to deny it for two hours. afterwards.".

I'm confused. Okay, so she had a feeling. that there was something going on. between her and her her friend and her. baby daddy. And before she went in the. shower, she set her phone in the room. and hit voice record and caught him. getting his knob slobbed by her. And he tried to deny it. I read that in. I read that in her perspective. >> Yeah. Mm. >> I thought she just recorded her Okay, got it now. Stupid. >> Friend, the amount of people who. submitted their friends sleeping with. their baby daddies, their husbands,

their boyfriends, their bet like every. single one. Crazy. I don't think I've. ever done that. I think I can honestly. say I've never done that to somebody. Let me think really hard. Hold on. Nope, just brothers. >> [laughter]. >> Yeah. No, I never slept with anybody's. [snorts] like baby daddy or their. significant other. Never made me feel. good. Oh, well, that was unintentional though. So, well, I didn't know the girl. I didn't know. the girl.

But I was in like when I was with my ex. uh and I write about it in the book. I. didn't know about his. girlfriend until after we'd already been. together, so. Yeah, and it It's always been. unintentional. I've never pursued any of. my friends' boyfriends. One, cuz I've. never found any of them attractive and I. would never do that. But two, it's just. like. I would feel terrible, you know, going. after a friend's. slob I would getting sloppy seconds. Like I'm too alpha for that, too.

There's no way. I would never do that. Hated it. Hated it. Have you guys? Friends? Not a friend No. Mia Mia said, "Not a friend.". >> like it's tricky because Jason was. talking to my best friend. when we met. But they were like ending it. So, like. that's how we connected was over the. fact that Did you and your friend still. stay friends after you and Jason got. together? >> I found out that she was like telling. Jason my life story. >> was the one that was. >> Yeah, so it was like we were best.

friends like. and me finding out that she was telling. things to him of my perspective, it kind. of pissed me off. >> really a friend. >> I don't know if that would piss you off, but like weird you out. >> Yeah, it was very. >> trying to pretend she was your wife. Yeah, that's. >> Yeah, so he had fallen for her thinking. he was falling for me. Like, you know, it like cuz like once we met and I was. saying he was so confused. He's like, "No, no, no, no, wait. She [snorts] told. me that exact story, but from her point. of view." And I was like, "No, no, no, that's my point of view." And so that's. what we actually ended up bonding over.

and then we just continued our talking. from there. Yeah. Wild. Yeah, so really. he did like me. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we were. kids. We were. 18, 19 years old. Like. we were. doing dumb [ __ ] I get it. It's. whatever, you know. It was kind of like. a catfishing moment and we didn't talk. for like five years, I think. And now. we're more like friends on Instagram. than we are friends. Yeah. I did dumb. [ __ ] when I was a kid. I I mean, we all. have. Hello. We wrote a whole book about.

it. It's a New York Times best seller. >> [laughter]. >> It's really like we did some dumb [ __ ]. When I went back home this past week, I. got to meet up with two of my really. good friends from high school and we all. just kind of sat there and like talked. about when we'd sneak out of high school. and I had a gold PT PT Cruiser and we'd. hide in the trunk. I wrecked one. The. one I drove through Del Taco was a gold. PT Cruiser. That's we were meant to be. friends. >> Yes. I wrecked mine, too. That's. hilarious. That is so funny. That's a. Del Taco. Hey, let's drive and get I got Del Tacos.

out there. When my period starts, let's. have a Del Taco night. I please. Can't. wait. >> movie night? Couple fries. Let's do it. >> Please. All right, go. Hey, hey. >> Okay. Um Lori says, "Going through the. Jack in the Box drive-thru at 2:00 in. the morning, my guy friend tried to. lunge over me to attack the drive-thru. cashier because there was pickles on his. burger. End of friendship that day." Why. would you end a friendship over that? >> He just likes what he likes. [laughter]. I don't know. I don't know. >> are face, you can't hold that against. him. I mean, yes, he is showing violent. tendencies, but I think if you could.

channel that into a more productive, you. know, conduit, um I can't believe you. just. said that. >> [laughter]. >> My two friends I told you I met up with, Yeah. she got mad at her boyfriend in the. drive-thru and ripped his keys out of. the ignition, but it broke the ignition. and she threw them into the Jack in the. Box through the drive-thru window and. the car was stalled there. Oh. And we. had It took us like two hours to get the. car out of the drive-thru. While you. were there? They were arguing while. we're getting our food. Right, like.

recently? No, no, no. When we were kids. Yeah. Did you guys still eat the food? They. wouldn't give us the food. Oh, no. >> so mad at us cuz they had to shut their. whole drive-thru down. And the guy's. like, "Literally, I'm calling the cops.". And we're like, "What the [ __ ] do you. like us to do? It's broken down." Two. hours and we ended up just getting like. a jack and putting it on the car. >> it in neutral and push it out of the. >> The ignition was completely broken. locked, so you could not do anything at. all to this car and yeah, we had to end. up jacking it up, putting the wheels on.

like those things that move the car. around and pushing it out. Damn, it goes. down in the drive-thru. Who would have. [ __ ] thought? >> were you at? Jack in the Box. That's wild. It's what I was like, "That's crazy.". >> Listen, I used to love Jack in the Box. and then one night I was coming home. from dancing and got a ultimate. cheeseburger. Woke up the next morning. had the worst food poisoning I've ever. had in my life besides the sushi that I. had one time. And I have never been a. Jack in the Box fan after that. The. little tacos though. Ah, the little.

tacos are good. Yeah. >> Tacos are fire, bro. >> Never been a a Jack in the Box fan after. that. >> Huge fan of Jack in the Box. I'll I'll. taco all day long though. Mhm. That's. how I got pregnant with Cash. Love it. All right, who's going next? Me. Go you old ho. So, this one said that. she had a friend tell her that she could. store all her stuff in her garage. The. friend then turned around and sold it. all. Like brand new stuff. Cut out the burp. No, please leave it in. >> [laughter].

>> Leave the burp in. >> Stop it. It just kept rolling out. Leave it in. Um like brand new stuff. still in boxes, pots, pans, dishes, cricket machine, coach bag, etc. She. lied about it when I couldn't. when Oh, she kept lying about when I. could come get it and kept putting me. off until I just went ahead and stopped. by. Her husband told me months later. that she stole all my stuff before. kicking him out. What is a cricket. machine? Like one of those sticker. cutters? Yeah, I don't even know what that is. It. was the only thing I caught. The cricket. machine? Yeah, like that you put in like. the little stickers like how you.

monogram like tumblers and [ __ ]. >> Got you. I don't have like I know. nothing. a machine that makes. crickets like the bugs. Okay. All right. Go ahead. Cricket. Can I tell a story real quick? Sorry. Yeah. I don't care. Not my show. There was this family feud. in my small town and they let this guy. store all the stuff in his barn and he. kept telling the dude to come get it and. the guy didn't so he burnt down the barn. with all the guy's stuff in it.

What the hell? And it's still a family. feud to this day. It was like grandpas. Like they've now since passed but like. it's generationally like it this guy. does not like this guy because grandpa. set the barn on fire with all my. grandpa's stuff in it. What the hell? >> right? That's great. Yeah. And so he. tried to call the cops and cops were. like it was his stuff on his property. Damn. What the [ __ ] Moral of these. stories is don't leave your other. people. Yeah, you can't, dude. It's All. right, you want to go? Okay. I got one. Longer one. This is from Tina. Hey,

Tina. Uh with a with a A. Aw. >> Um. I do have one kind of grimy story from. my 20s. I grew up in a small town and. always struggled with insecurity never. thinking I was much to look at. When I. moved to Sacramento, I had a friend I. used to go clubbing with who always. insisted on picking my outfits and doing. my makeup because she said she wanted me. to look cute. Years later, she admitted. she was actually trying to make me look. ugly so guys wouldn't notice me because. she was jealous. Looking back, that's pretty grimy.

I feel like so many people have these. friends that were just like jealous of. them and trying to like. make ass for What a [ __ ] I'd be. [laughter] [ __ ] pissed. I would be [ __ ] pissed. And you would. openly admit that? Like. I don't know. Some of these people just. are not good humans. >> really bad human. >> friends' makeup to go out, it was always. beat and I would do mine in 5 minutes. Yeah. Go ahead. But you always look flawless. So mad. I.

know. She's literally perfect. All right. This one was a little crazy. but Amy Lynn said, "Legit stuck a pocket. bullet in my butt when I was asleep and. it got stuck. No lie, it was vibrating. in me but I couldn't get it out. It was. super loud, too. We never shared a bed. again.". How the she even get in your. hole? >> [laughter]. >> Were you sleeping naked? >> I would feel anything. Yeah, but were. you sleeping naked? Was your.

exposed to the elements? Like what is. happening? >> with it like spread? >> I sleep very clenched. I feel like. Like. how did they pull your pants down and. you didn't I did not. >> Yeah, I would definitely feel something. entering my You're not getting something. up that easily. >> And if it's vibrating, it had to have. been vibrating going in. Yeah. So I like I have so many questions. Not. that I'm doubting the story but I'm like. dude, it just I mean also I wonder if. they were like drunk or something. I was. going to say. And that would be the only.

explanation I wouldn't feel something is. if I was like blackout drunk. 100%. >> I've been pretty faced and I know what's. going in my hole. You know? I don't know. I think we need more to that story. >> Yeah, I need more more more uh tea on. that. All right, go ahead. All right. Um this one's short and sweet. Uh. she [ __ ] in my front yard. Okay. >> [laughter]. >> I'd be upset if someone [ __ ] in my front. yard, too, because who's cleaning that.

laugh so hard. I would not care if my. friend front yard. I think it would be. hilarious. >> I think that's more embarrassing for. them. Yeah. [laughter]. Why are we [ __ ] people's yards? >> know. I used to dare friends to [ __ ] in. In-N-Out boxes so it didn't that would. not faze me. Yeah, purses, In-N-Out. boxes. I can confidently say. as a friend group we didn't really do. much Uh Same. I don't know. Poop poop. makes people laugh. I love a good poop story. How you do? I. do. I mean like real poop. Like poop.

pranks are Wait. [ __ ] funny, dude. Can I read an Ask Tell Confess that. someone gave to me specifically cuz it. had to do with poop? >> Yeah. All right, here it goes. She's like I got it locked and loaded. >> I do. It literally says, "Hey ladies, this is a tell just for Haley. It. involves poop and butt holes. So my. boyfriend likes for me to wear a. ping his butt hole from time to time. Okay, no biggie. It is a little awkward. but whatever, he likes it. Well, where. the situation comes in is that when his.

prostate is stimulated and he. stimulation, he. all over the place. Full blown, hot, ooey gooey, ripe ass. blowing out his ass is ooey gooey. Who. describes poop as ooey gooey? I describe. brownies as ooey gooey, not [ __ ]. I don't like ooey gooey. The last time. we did this, there was all over the bed. His ass me the story. Why are they doing. it so much? Why is it a repeated.

>> When was the last time? Why is it a. repeated adventure? Do they think it's going to get better. every time? Maybe it hits like a reflex. in his butt hole and if he can finally. release everything. He needs to do an. enema. Before No, literally I'm reading. down more and it says, "I have told him. going forward if he ever wants his butt. hole poked again, he will need to clean. it out first. Enemas are your friend.". Amy. >> [laughter]. >> Thanks, Amy. Amy. I didn't need the ooey. gooey. I could have left that off. ooey. gooey The adjectives you used were wild.

Listen, after the first time somebody. just ooey gooey turds everywhere, I'm. going to not want to come with a shirt. on. Let's not do it again. >> so bad. >> Yeah, like there's no way, dude. Uh. I'm having a hard time with that one, guys. I should have read it first. >> I feel like there should have been I. should have read it. Someone Someone gave that to you? All I. said All I heard was. this one's. just for Haley. It's about poop and butt. holes. I said, "I'm in." You said done.

Screenshot it. >> Yeah, that one's mine. I did. That's. wild. Yeah. I feel like what does that cleanup. process look like? Don't know. Throw everything away. Does it get into the I would throw. everything away. I feel like do you put. a liner on the mattress? Because I. >> Towel down. How do you scootch off of. that? >> [laughter]. >> I'm. just so confused. >> [snorts]. >> Your body doing that.

>> [laughter]. >> And I just imagined her knees down and. then like there's poop everywhere. She's. got to scootch off the bed. Or do you just whip the leg off? I don't. know. >> and then. just flap around. >> poop everywhere. Or like lymph nodes. Ugh. Just flinging poop everywhere. I Kelly. said, "I took a potato peeler and went. up and down my ex-boyfriend. my ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend's car. and he didn't know I knew about her but. she knew about me. Then I poured nail. polish remover and other stuff all over.

the cars. I picked him up from work and he asked. me about the cars. I just turned the. tears on and said, 'How would I know. where she lived? How. how he still doesn't know he still. doesn't know I did it and he had to pay. for the car to get fixed. Do not mess. with a redhead. We always win.". So we went after the new girlfriend? Because she knew about her. Oh. I feel like what did the cars do to you?

You know? Like. >> didn't deserve that. >> destroying people's personal property, not saying I haven't done it. I have. done it plenty of times growing up but I. now that I own stuff and actually have. stuff like it's really different to like. destroy somebody's property. You can't. >> This made me real empathetic towards. that car. I'm saying I'm letting you. know I'm getting very sad over here. Same. I was thinking of our guy. uh. The robot? The robots. Bumblebee. No, I saw a Tik Tok that. said, "Do you guys ever get sad leaving.

your old car at the dealership not and. they don't know it's the last time. you're going to drop them off and they. don't know you're leaving them?". No. Anyone else getting sad? No. No, cuz I'm going to pick up my car. up. Is it when you sell it? A new car. No, yeah, getting a new car. Yeah, and. it doesn't know that you left it. No. He's going to make new memories for a. new family. When I dropped off my old. car What if it goes and gets smooshed? at my junk at the junkyard.

I've never dropped anything off at the. junkyard. That would make me sad. >> She didn't have a front windshield. Well, yeah, the hood came back and. smashed my windshield while I Remember. it was like in the beginning of our. relationship? >> No, it was the end of 2019 so it was. like a few months after our first trip. I don't remember. Cuz she was Ubering. everywhere. I didn't drive for 6 months. after that, actually. I remember. I. remember the hood came up and smashed. her windshield. I don't I didn't remember the. circumstances, but I remember I was just. like, "Hayley, why are you. ubering everywhere?" I was scared to.

drive, yeah. That was traumatizing. And look at you now. Drive everywhere. You go home every. freaking weekend. I didn't curb [ __ ] I. didn't curb [ __ ] Not even looking. >> That's wild. All right, what do you guys. got for me? So, she said when I was in. middle school, I was asleep at a. friend's house on a Friday night, and. the next morning there was a glass cup. sitting on the shelf. I thought it. looked like apple juice. So, I asked her. if it was apple juice, and asked if I. could have a sip. She said yes. When I. took a sip, it turned out to be a cup. full of piss. >> [gasps]. >> That's terrible.

>> That's terrible. >> Not apple juice. Why would you say yes? That's terrible. >> Why would you say yes? >> why would you I could never do that to. somebody, dude. Absolutely not. It. smelled it first. I mean, yeah, that's. another thing, but then you're like if I. don't know if it Messing with people's. food, man, that is a 100% I will [ __ ]. break your face if you do something like. that. Like, there's no way. No. I'm so. weird already about like being poisoned. or [ __ ] drugs in my water or anything.

like that. There's no way. If somebody. had me drink piss, I would get extremely. violent. >> I I would be very violent. Anything, poop, pee, no. Mhm. No, you can't do. that to people. Like that one lady who. put poop in her boyfriend's brownies. Like, come on, man. Like Not okay. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. That's so rough. Yeah. Friends should never do that to. somebody. Mhm. I mean, obviously, look. at traumatize this girl. Yeah. You think. that's a middle school uh. Still. Middle schoolers are the worst, man. >> They are. Like, I feel like they.

literally turn evil in middle school. Dude, they gave me a training bra and. dog treats for my birthday, and I never. forgot. You didn't know that? No. Yeah. They said I was so ugly they gave me dog. treats and a training bra cuz I didn't. have any boobs. For my birthday. All the boys did. Sixth. grade is when I stopped wearing shorts. because I wore shorts one time to. school, and this boy named Tim pointed. and gagged, and was like, >> [clears throat]. >> "Oh my god, she's wearing shorts." I. didn't wear shorts for 17 years after.

that. Oh my. Mhm. And where the [ __ ] you at now? Exactly. Mhm. Let's look him up. Oh, I. know exactly where he is. We're friends. on Facebook. Since we like looking. people up. >> Oh. Kids. I. >> [laughter]. >> don't care. Well, we don't like I have a. grudge. Yeah, you've got a grudge with. Tim. All right, guys. We love you so much. Talk to you later. Bye-bye.