Mark Normand on Kevin Hart, Jerry Seinfeld, Dave Chappelle, & Getting Jumped In NYC I CLUB SHAY SHAY

I've actually brought Kevin on stage at. the comedy seller before and I did it in. front of him. >> The real Kevin Hart, please stand up. >> Can't tell if he's standing. So. [laughter]. when I think he's in his own head or. he's so little it went over his head. You have these white Norwegians in the. crowd going, "We saw Kevin Hart. tonight." You know, >> all my life been grinding all my life. Sacrifice hustle, paid the price, [music]. want a slice. Got to roll the dice. That's why all my life I've been. grinding all my life. All my [music]. life been grinding all my life. Sacrifice hustle paid the price a slice.

to roll a dice. That's why all my life. I've been grinding all [music] my life. Hello, welcome to another episode of. Club Shay. I am your host Shannon Sharp. I'm also the propri of Club Shay. Stopping by for conversation on the. drink today is one of today's top. standup comedians. Jerry Seinfeld called. him one of the best comics. He's. fearless and has a rapid fire. punchlines. He sells out clubs in. theaters across the country. He tours. internationally. Every time he drops a.

special, it's in the top 10 on Netflix. He's a popular podcast host, prolific. writer, expert trash talker, maverick, an actor, and entrepreneur. Like he says. on stage, it's just comedy. Please. welcome Kevin Hart. Excuse me, I mean. Mark Norman, the club Shay Shake. >> Hey, it's an honor. >> How you doing, bro? >> Good, man. Wow, that was amazing. I I. wish you were my dad. [laughter] He. doesn't know any of that stuff. So, that. was very nice. Thank you. You say at. every set you say you're Kevin Hart at.

the end of every set. Yeah. What I mean. did it start? How how did that start? >> Well, first of all, are we drinking? >> Yeah. Okay. >> I had a long flight here and then. >> Absolutely. >> And we're going to talk about the. Netflix special. >> Okay. >> Please. >> We'll get there. Hey. Hey, Masletov. >> Yes. >> Uh what do you guys say? >> You're Muslim, right? >> Uh I'm in the reserves. >> Oh, okay. I eat pork once a month, two. times out of the year. >> Hey, I eat ass. [laughter] All right. Um.

All right. This is good stuff. >> Appreciate it. >> I don't want to. >> So, so how did how did the I'm Kevin. Hart. How did that start? >> Oh, sorry. Yeah. So, uh I used to bomb. quite a bit. You know, I try crazy. material, offensive material, and crowds. were freaked out by it. I would I would. be so ashamed. I didn't want to say my. real name [laughter] after the set. >> So, you put it on Kevin. >> Kevin Hard. You've heard of him. And you. have these white Norwegians in the crowd. going, "We saw Kevin Hart tonight." You. know, [laughter]. and it was just me. So, yeah. Uh, and it.

just stuck. I did on Tonight's Show. I. did it on Netflix. >> Right. Have you ever have you ever have. Kev ever approached you about that? Have. said, "Have you ever met Kev?". >> I've actually brought Kevin on stage at. the comedy seller before and I did it in. front of him and I think he's in his own. head or he's so little it went over his. head. But, uh, >> they couldn't tell you apart. >> Yeah. Yeah. I've been. >> the real Kevin Hart, please stand up. >> Exactly. Exactly. Can't tell if he's. standing. So, [laughter]. >> but yeah. >> Cool. >> The Netflix special, None, please.

>> Tell [snorts] us about it. >> Well, uh, it's my second hour on. Netflix. Um, I shot it in Boulder, Colorado of all places. >> Really? >> Yeah. I I'd never been there. We sold a. bunch of tickets. I said, "Screw it. Let's shoot it there." And, uh, it went. it went well. So, it's coming out on the. 17th and I'm pretty happy with it. >> So, let me ask you a question. So when. you when they you appro they approach. you about a special. >> uh you have a general idea have you I. mean is materials specially for the the. special or do you have you've. [clears throat] been writing all along.

or do you have like I got material and. I'm ready to do a special. How does a. special come about especially on one of. these streaming platforms? >> That's a good question. Well you you. just build material over time and then. you have an hour and then it has like a. beginning, middle and end. it has a. opener or closer. And so when you feel. like, "Oh, this is tight. This is a good. package hour." Then you start touring. with it, right? >> Then when it's killer, honed, and. perfect, ready to go, humming, then you. go, "Hey Netflix, you want to see this?". And they go, "Maybe, yes, no, whatever.".

So, uh, we're all the game has changed. Like, you used to just call HBO or HBO. would call you. Now you go, "Here you. go, Netflix. Please take it.". >> Take it, right? because it they they. know how much power they have. >> when how long does it take you to. perfect a set. So when you start telling. so when you start telling obviously the. joke in the very beginning is kind of. raw but for you to perfect it and. perfect it so maybe you start out with. 15 minutes 30 minutes 45 and now. obviously for a Netflix special it needs. to be an hour. How long does it take you.

to perfect that? It takes years and some. guys will put it out too early, you. know, and uh I think it takes a long. time because I already shot it. I shot. it in like December and I've already. thought of new joke ideas and new new. endings for jokes and I'm like, "Oh, I. wish I had that in there." So sometimes. you got to let it bake. It's like it's. like a marinade. You got to let it sit. and simmer for hours. >> Uh so people put out too early, I say, "Wait.". >> Have you ever had a situation say, "You. know what? I got some stuff. Let's go. back in and edit." I have thought that.

But you can't do it. Once it's in the. can, it's in the can. >> Once this indicator, it's indicated. >> Yeah. But it's like a it's like a baby. You got to give it nine months. If you. give it eight, it's going to be uh you. know, a little wonky, >> right? I mean, it might be a preeie and. and sometimes preeie turn out to be the. best. >> Wow. I don't know about that, but. [laughter] uh I I'm definitely premature. myself in the bedroom. But yeah, >> you're from New Orleans. >> Yes, sir. How did I mean if we look at. think about it all the musicians. especially jazz musicians Harry Kik. Juniors the Marcellas Satchimo uh.

Armstrong yeah sure. >> how I mean what is it what is it about. New Orleans that the magicians excuse me. musicians you got No Limit with Master P. you got you got Lil Wayne you got Cash. Money yeah you got Juvie you got all BG. dirt. >> I [snorts] think it's a it's the most. unique city in America I think it's it's. got a grit to it and uh it's it's a very. musical city like there's guys on the. corner who do jazz and it's better than. the guys in the blue note in New. [laughter] York. It's incredible. These. kids are amazing. Like the marching.

bands are unbelievable and it's it's a. very black city. So, you know, the music. is going to be good, right? >> And the food is good, but comedy does. not work there. >> Really, >> comedy clubs open and closed. No one. cares. The people there are already. funny. You know, it's kind of a. bluecollar town. It's like a It's a. service working town, much like Vegas. Yes. And uh so no one goes we we're not. going to pay money to see a guy tell. jokes, right? I'll pay to see a guy, you. know, tickle the ivories because that. takes some skill. But comedy, you know, you got to leave. You got to go to New. York or LA. >> Is that why you felt you had to get out.

of New Orleans? >> I had to get out. The ceiling is it's. Kevin Hart level. You got [laughter] you. got to get there's no. >> You keep taking shots at. >> I love I love Kev. Big fan. I mean, it's. an homage every every set. I'm a fan. I'm not Cat Williams. [laughter]. >> Shoot your shot on prize picks and get. $50 instantly in lineups when you play. your first $5. That's right. Prize Pix. is now giving away $50 in lineups when. you sign up and play your first $5. Prize Pick makes every dunk, every dive, every board even more exciting. So don't.

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known for. >> Sure. >> You got any funny stories about Marty. Gro? Cuz you grew up there and like from. the very beginning. >> Oh jeez. I mean I I you get two weeks. off of school. It's it's takes over the. whole city. It's a beautiful thing. Everybody comes out. parades, floats, beads. You get your kids up on a on a. ladder, you catch beads. I got beat up. at Marty Gro in college. I got jumped by. a couple of frat guys. Uh, let's see. I. fingered my first girl on Seventh. Street. That's where all the the high. school kids meet. >> Um, yeah. So, Marty Gro is just a.

special place in my heart. I was. watching it on Instagram this year. It's. killing me that I wasn't there. >> Well, I mean, it has to be something. special. Shallabuff. He. >> he gets drunk, gets arrested, and comes. out and parties against the more. >> That was a beautiful day. He's the king. of New Orleans right [laughter] now. And. some lady bailed him out. Did you see. that lady? I don't know who she was, but. she was just a regular lady who bailed. him out. And that that hit home. I was. like, this is like my my teenage years. [laughter]. >> That got to be a So, you get two weeks. off of school. So, I how I don't really.

understand cuz I know I know about king. cakes and all that other stuff. So, it's. just a bunch of parades, people, you. know, dressing up, dancing in the. streets, >> drinking. We used to steal um a couch or. find a couch at a junkyard, put it on. the median, okay? We call it the neutral. ground, and we just sit there and drink. till the parade comes by. And you know, it's a beautiful thing. It goes all day. and all night. It's carnival. >> Your childhood, you grew up in a. predominantly black neighborhood.

>> TMA. Yeah, >> I've heard of that. That was that was a. a TV show. >> It was by the the the guy who did The. Wire, David Simon. >> Yes. Um talk to talk to us about that. experience because that's a very unique. experience because normally it might be. the other way around. >> Well, buckle up Sharpie cuz this is a. crazy uh childhood. >> Uh I grew up in this my dad got a wild. hair up his ass and bought an old. dilapidated mansion in this poor black. neighborhood. And so we were the white.

family. So everybody thought we were. loaded because we were the white family. in the mansion, but we didn't have. running water. We had mice. We had. termites. And so people would break in, like crackheads would break in and be. like, "You got to get your [ __ ]. together. This this is out of control. This is pathetic." Um, and we eventually. got up enough money, we turned half into. a bed and breakfast, had some income. coming in. But yeah, uh, my bike got. stolen all the time, got pushed around. It was uh, it was rough, but it made you. made you funny. >> What What was it about? What did you.

learn about being around predominantly. black? Because our cultures are very. very we might want some of the same. things, but the way we see things is. totally different. The way we respond to. things are differently. >> Well, there's a lot of different. First. of all, I skateboarded in the '90s, which was a white guy thing. Now, everybody skateboarding, which is great. It's it's become uh diverse, but uh I. skateboarded, so a lot of like board. breaking, a lot of throwing my board. I. was skating on it. We we built a skate. ramp and a basketball court, right? Burned it down. It got burned.

>> Oh, it got burned. You didn't burn. >> No, no. Yeah, they burned it. >> Okay. >> Um and uh so that was awkward. Uh so. then my parents had to work so much. because the house was causing needed so. much income, right? >> So they were always working. So they. hired a nanny. They hired a black guy. named Enus who was a transvestite. So now I'm I'm learning how to shave, how to fight, how to drive a stick by a. black guy in a wig and high heels. [laughter]. >> How How did that Hold on. How did that. come up? Because that is Woo. I mean,

you you talk about a a trans. >> and a black man. >> Yeah. >> This white family and they says, "You. know what? We think it'd be a good idea. that you uh be the nanny for our son.". >> Yeah. Well, he lived next door, two. houses down. He did burlesque at night, >> but I think it was before the whole. trans thing, so he was just a. crossdresser is what we called him. Uh. but he would wear high heels and a wig. while he, you know, swept up or cooked. or whatever. And [laughter]. my dad wasn't around a lot so he kind of. showed me the ropes. Like I remember I. was like going to a a dance and he.

showed me some moves. >> and it was like a sitcom and we became. friends and I was kind of scared to go. out in the neighborhood but he was he. was he couldn't go out either cuz you. know he was in a wig, right? >> And uh you know the homophobia in the. '90s was a different world. And so one. time I got my bike stolen. I ran home. crying. I told Enus, he goes that we're. getting the bike back. And I go let him. have it. >> Let them have it. They were tough. they. were older than me. And he's like, "We're getting it back." So we jump in. my dad's van. We drive around the. neighborhood. He sees the guys on like a.

stoop taking my bike apart. I go, "That's my bike. I'm hiding in, you. know, under the window." And he's like, "Wait here." He goes out there wigging. all. And you know, they all have tools. and wrenches and they're messing with my. bike. And he and they all just die. laughing like, "Who the is this guy?". And they're going, "Look at this [ __ ]. Holy shit." And he goes, "That's not. your bike. I'm taking it back." And they. and they're like, "What are you going to. do about it?" And he goes, "I'll show. you." He grabs it. They don't do. anything. Takes the bike, puts it back. in the van, close the door, we drive. home. >> That was it. >> Amazing. Yeah. [laughter] It was the.

manliest thing I've ever seen. And he. was in high heels. >> So, so he he turned out to be kind of. like your best friend because you talked. about how he taught you how to shave. He. taught you how to talk to women. He. taught you how to ish talk. So he was. just it was just like and it's just so. fascinating that this guy in this. neighborhood a couple doors down that. your family thought enough of him that. they felt felt [snorts] he would be safe. with you or you would be safe with him. >> Yeah. Well, my parents are the most. open-minded ex-hippie liberal, you know,

whatever. So, we had friends come over. This is the deep south. Friends would. come over. Their dad would see Enus and. be like, "You're not you're not sleeping. over here. We're getting the hell out of. here." [laughter]. So, it was uh my parents were weird, but. they were open, they were kind, and uh. Enus was a was a badass because you got. to think to look like that. Yes. In the. '9s in Louisiana, you got to be tough. Yes. >> You know, so he was a tough, >> but you got to people got to realize. they they underestimated because oh, you. you you're trying to be a woman, you're. trying to be a man, but inherently at. the bases, that's a man. You trying to.

be a woman, that is and you. underestimate that is a man. >> Yeah. And you know, he went in for the. surgery like three times and he got on. the table and he couldn't he was like, I. can't do it. So [laughter] that was. interesting to me. But he eventually was. killed. He was hooking up with a guy at. a bar and the came out and the guy. didn't know and he killed him. >> So RIP Enus, >> when you f when you found out, how old. were you? >> I was probably, you know, I I knew him. from like 5 years old to.

13. So he probably died when I was 15. >> So when you got that news because. clearly you were close. I mean he got. your bicycle back. He taught you things. that your father was working so much. that wasn't around. He didn't get an. opportunity to teach you. So this black. man that crossdressed, he taught you a. lot about growing up and what it was. going to be to be a man. So when you got. the news that you know Enus had. tragically uh uh uh been killed, what. were some of the emotions that you felt? >> I mean it was horrible. He had moved on. Like he eventually stopped. you know, we.

were getting older, so we didn't really. need any. >> supervision, but uh he eventually moved. on. So, a couple years had gone by and. then my mom just told us at dinner, me. and my brother, and we were like, "What. the hell?" And, uh, it was in Homa. It. was in We let him borrow our van, and it. was in the van that they killed him. >> Damn. >> So, yeah, it was uh it was dark. >> But that was uh that was the 90s. >> Yes, >> the 90s were crazy. >> I'm not so sure as much changed uh. dealing with that community because you. hear the stories about what's going on. So, I'm not so sure a whole lot have.

train changed now. Maybe, you know, people are talking about it more and. more. May maybe it's more in the open, but I don't think I think there's still. a lot of, you know, standoffish and. like, nah, that that ain't that ain't. for me. >> No, 100%. And and it it definitely. messed now. I can't get an erection. unless I see a picture of RuPaul. [laughter] So, I'm all screwed up. >> So, did he Was it him that taught you. how to uh talk trash to Cuz we like. Look, we we we like to bag on each. other. No, I love it. >> We we bag on each other. Homeboy,

brother, sister, it doesn't matter. We. going to rag on each other. I'm not so. sure that's very prevalent. I, you know, I have friends, but I they don't really. jone on each other like we do. Is that. where you learn how to like get your. your quick wit from? >> Yeah, that in public school. I went to. public school and uh it was a lot of we. called them snaps. Yeah. Back then, your. mama's so fat, you know, she sits around. the house, she really sits around the. house and all that stuff. So that was. you had to be ready always with. something like and everything was a. thing like if you if you tripped.

>> that they would they would go nuts on. that. So everything was you always kind. of head on a swivel ready to go. >> right. You mentioned you went to public. school till you was in the eighth grade. and then you went to a private Catholic. school. >> Yeah. >> So what was the big So obviously now all. of a sudden you're in this predominately. black neighborhood. you in public. school, so I'm I'm sure it's p probably. predominantly black. And then you go to. a Catholic school that's probably. predominantly white. >> Yeah. Yeah. It was very different. It. went from uh hearing the n-word to. hearing the n-word. No. [laughter]. Um I have Tourette's. No, I'm just.

kidding. Uh um we'll get. >> That was a touche. Touche. I like that. That was That was good. >> Oh, touche. Is that your sister? All. right. [laughter] Um, so well it was a. culture shock cuz it we went from like. wearing whatever you wanting around. busting balls to like church, chapel, tie, slacks, uh, all that [ __ ] So it. was I was I was up in school. I was. getting in trouble. I was failing out. So my dad's like, "You're going to. private school.". >> But you've said that private school kids.

are probably more messed up than public. school kids. >> Definitely. Yeah. The drugs crazy. A lot. of coke, a lot of pills, you know, a lot. of like rich white kids with with no. supervision who could do whatever they. wanted, >> a lot of alcoholic. Couple of them died. of a heroin, couple died out of drunk. driving. >> So, it's kind of like the suburbs. You. know, the city has crime and muggings, but the suburbs has like pedophile. doctor or like I got a kid in the. basement or, you know, I feel like uh.

private schools like that. Like public. school, it was very surface level [ __ ]. like he got beat up or he got pushed. around. Private school was like. >> they have money to hide all the. problems. >> Yes. Yes. Exactly. And then a kid would. be found with like angel dust in his. locker or something like that, you know. >> You mentioned the the house that your. your your parents moved in and that you. say you had rented it. Did you feel that. house was haunted? >> Uh no. I would have killed for a ghost. It [laughter] was we had this alarm. system that would go off and it would go. off at like 2:00 in the morning and you.

just you're like a 10-year-old in bed. and you could hear a guy downstairs and. then you'd see your dad with a baseball. bat. You're like, "Oh my god." It was a. it was a rough rough way to live. >> But you know, uh uh uh ghost and. seances, all that stuff is really really. big in New Orleans. >> That's true. We're we're a big voodoo. town. [laughter] But uh I was not scared. of ghosts. I was scared of uh Tyrone. [laughter]. You said your family moved away or moved. out of that neighborhood when someone. broke into your home and tied your.

family up. >> Yeah. Yeah. That was the big uh closer. We had a uh I was at a Marty Gro parade. >> Okay. >> Two guys broke in, knocked on the door, my dad answered, gun, >> held him down, uh tied him up with his. own neck ties, >> and then tied up my mom and then tied up. my brother. Took all the stuff, all the. jewelry, all the credit cards, stole the. cars, and after that we were like, we're. out of here. >> You left. >> Yeah. Well, I showed up and there was. like eight cop cars at the house, sirens. going, you know, lights going and I was. like, "Oh my god, my parents are dead. and I saw my mom crying and my dad's.

talking to the police and uh that was. it.". >> Was that a common thing? Somebody knocks. on the door, you just open the door like. you don't ask who it is or. >> I don't know. Was there not a pe I guess. there weren't peepoles back then? Were. there peeles? >> No peeoles. And I think, you know, again, my parents are very like listen, this guy, maybe he needs help and then. they open the door and boom. Was that. the first time you guys had ever been. robbed? >> No. No. We got robbed all the time, but. that was the first time it was a home. invasion where, you know, there was. actual uh But I saw guy I would see a.

guy run out of my uh backyard with like. a a TV under his arm or something. I saw. that every now and then. [laughter]. >> You didn't chase him trying to get it. back. >> Wow. I was He was a real big guy. I was. nine. >> Yeah. Let him have it. >> Yeah. [laughter] The first week we moved. there, a kid knocked on my door and he. goes, "You got a Nintendo?" And I said, "Yeah." And he goes, "Hey, I got these. games. You want to trade games that we. don't have to go to Blockbuster? We can. just trade games." I said, "Sure. I'm. making a new friend." Boy, what a. gullible douche I was. And then he was. like, "All right, here you go. Here's my. two games." And I gave him my two games.

I gave him Excite Bike and whatever. And. he was like, "All right, great. Never. saw him again. His games didn't work.". >> I know. I got hust. You fell for the okie do. >> I know. >> At the start of every new year, I set my. goals. I tell myself this year, I'm. eating right. I'm working out. I'm. working hard. Staying on track. Then. reality hits. Work, travel, cravings, distractions. Life just loves to test. your focus. I've been there. I've fallen. off, but I don't stay down because. Amazon helps bring me back up every.

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goals and stay on your grind. Save every. day with essentials from Amazon. You. were traumatized and you had a problem. urinating in the bed. >> Yes. Yes. Wow. How'd you know all this. >> bec and you know they say there's a a. real serious issue if you have those. kind of problems after the age of seven. So you're having in your teenage years. there is really some some things going. on in internally that you had to deal. with. >> Gee, this is therapy, man. This. [laughter] is crazy. Holy [ __ ] I've.

never seen a therapist in full. Lululemon, but uh I'll take it. >> Uh yeah. Yeah. a bed wetter up to like. 14 and then I was kind of an alcoholic. for a while and then it would come out. again. So I I can't tell you I peed on. more women than R. Kelly. [laughter]. >> So So hold on now. Normally I if you. have in in our community they might let. that thing go till you're about three. maybe fourish. After that.

there going to be some problems. >> Yeah it was bad. I mean, sleepovers, I. would stay up all night cuz I was too. scared to wet the bed. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> And my dad tried all these old school. remedies like, "All right, no liquids. after 600." Right. So, at 8:00, I'm I'm. eating Doritos like, >> you know, I was so dry. And then, uh, we. bought this buzzer that would clip to. your your waist and when it felt. moisture, it would beep to wake you up. And I shorted out. I pissed all over. [laughter]. >> So, I had to just ride it out. >> So, what did they did they get to the. root of what was causing it? >> I think you're right. I think it was the.

trauma cuz it stopped when we moved. >> Really? Yeah. So the the brain is a mad. scientist. >> Your parents never uh disciplined you. because of that. >> Not disciplined, more like they tried to. remedy it, but it never really took. [laughter]. >> You say, >> I don't know what are they going to beat. my ass for. >> Yes. Yes. That's exactly that's exactly. like I don't start [ __ ] the bed. That's going to [laughter] make it. worse. >> Because then sometimes the butt cutting. jars your memory. Oh, I was I was. supposed to take the trash out. That's. why I'm getting.

>> Right. Right. Yeah. But it wasn't. intentional. Well, I mean, I would just. wake up in a pool of urine. >> You would get drunk. Hold on. >> Later in life. Yeah. >> Yeah. But I'm saying you would pee on. the women's on the couch. >> Well, no. I'd wake up next to like a one. night stand or something in college and. I'd piss all over. And then she'd wake. up and I'd be like, "What'd you do?" Oh. >> Oh, you you blamed her. >> Well, I had to get out of it somehow. [laughter] They all knew, but I tried. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> Were you you were you embarrassed? >> Of course. It's the worst feeling in the. world. You disappoint him at night, then.

in the morning. [laughter] So, yeah, it. was those were rough times, but I always. bought flowers or paid for their dry. cleaning or something. >> Obviously, being in a predominantly. black neighborhood, there's probably a. chance that you probably dated outside. of your race. >> Well, I did later. I did later. Uh, at. the time, I was too young and too scared. to approach a woman. >> You know, that was those years were kind. of like the five to 13, so I was still. nerdy and scared. But later I did and I. learned you don't pull the hair.

[laughter]. I did that with white women love the. hair pulled. >> Yeah. Yeah. But you uhuh. >> no the braids. It was a it was a. mistake. >> That that that cost too much. [clears throat]. >> Yeah. >> This is what I I wanted to know. Somebody that does because I' i've had. uh Gary Owen and I've asked him. >> funny guy. >> Yes. What's the difference? Because. women ask us all the time the men. >> Yeah. from someone that's. >> Caucasian, white. >> Sure. Sure. >> I don't know if you guys can notice. that. [laughter].

>> Yeah. Ghost, whatever. >> What What What is the major difference. that you would say between the two? >> I would say it's one word, gyration. I. think a black woman on top can do a hip. thing that that white guys aren't ready. for, or [laughter] at least I wasn't. And you're like, you kind of go spaz out. on there like like Trump doing the the. guy. But uh yeah, the girration is. unreal. And uh I think with a with a. white guy, we do most of the dominating. and the the white white woman submits,

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ready, and let them sparks fly when the. moment is right. What was your approach? Because obviously you appro I mean, did. you approach the same way like, "Hey, my. name is Mark. How you doing? I find you. attractive. I was wondering if I can get. your number. Can I take you out?" That. was before email. That was before uh IG. Can I get you, you know, all that? So, so how give me your speech. >> Well, I found that I had to have some. rapport. I couldn't just go up cold cuz. I'm too white and nerdy and whatever. So, I I had to I needed school like. maybe get a a crowd laughing and then.

say something. And I find that uh a. little ball busty with a black one. A. little little. >> Yeah, they they got to be funny. Women. like Women like funny. >> Yes. I was going to say neg, but I got. nervous. [laughter] But yeah, so I think. a little little pokey, you know, with. the black women, I think it goes a long. way. >> Um, you learned about anemia, iron. deficiency in in dating black women. because that's something that's really I. think it's only in in in our community. >> I know my ex-girlfriend had a anemia and.

she have to eat iron pills. >> Yeah. I didn't know that was a black. thing. >> Yeah. >> Really? >> Yeah. >> Huh. >> Yeah. It's really I mean I'm I'm but I'm. almost pretty certain I've I've never. heard of a white person suffering from. anemia. Oh, really? >> Yeah. >> Well, she was pretty white trash. I. don't know if that helps. My ex, she had. a lot of problems. >> Before you got married, was it. >> was it hard? Was it hard dating? Because. like you're on the road and it's not in. that time. I don't know how prevalent it. is to take your your significant other. on the road with you because you're.

doing, you know, you're up all time of. the night and you're like this city and. then you driving to the next town or you. however you're getting there. So, how. was dating before you got married? Well, I dated a girl, a high school sweetheart. all the way into college. So, I'm. talking 10, 11 years. Damn. Yeah. Then I. moved to New York to do comedy. She came. with me and it eventually faded out. because I was so obsessed with comedy. and I didn't want to go on dates and I. was just, >> you know, women like the night time. They want dinner. They want a show. And. comedy is all night. >> Yes. >> So, uh, >> and you want to sleep during the date.

>> Yeah. Exactly. So, I it it really killed. the relationship. We're still friends, but I once I got out of that, I was. like, "All right, no more no more. dating. I'm going all in on comedy and. maybe I'll get laid on the road, right? >> And uh that was a lot of fun and I had a. good time. But then I met my wife at a. show and she changed. She best thing. that ever happened to me. Great great. gal. Um I always feel like men are like. a horse. You know, you see those old. movies where you got to break the horse. like a wild stallion. Some guy can like. pet its forehead and give it a carrot.

That's what women do for us. And I feel. like she was. >> she was that for me. And she's funny. She's cool. She gets it. She understands. the lifestyle. Uh I come home with a big. check. She's happy. We have a baby now. So, uh I'm a lucky guy with her. >> So, and you said uh she saw you at a. show in New York. Was she there with. girlfriends? Was she there with someone. else? >> She was actually with a date. >> AH MAN. COME ON, MARK. HOW YOU do that? >> Well, I had a good set and I don't think. she liked the guy and then she DM'd me. after.

>> Are you serious? >> So, so I feel a sorry, sir. Whoever that. was. >> Yeah, it was Kevin Hart. [laughter] No. No. I mean, really, that really it. really happened. I mean, I was saying. it, you know, tongue and cheek being. like, "Oh, was she there with someone. else or she came with some girlfriends. and you like confirmed like, no, she was. there on a date?". >> Yeah, she was there on a date. >> You didn't feel bad? >> Well, I didn't know. I didn't know till. I just was doing my set and then I got. off and I saw a DM about an hour later. and I said, "Let's get a drink tonight.". And she blew off uh Joe Schmo and hit me. up. >> Oh my goodness.

>> And yeah, the rest is history. [laughter] Before you got married, you. said it was hard to date for someone for. a man that's under 6' tall. >> Yes. >> Why? >> Well, women like a tall man. Well, what. are you? 6'2, 63. >> 6'2. >> Yeah. Women like a big big burly guy. >> But see, when you stand on the. paychecks, you're about 68. [laughter]. >> Yeah. But you don't have the paychecks. till late. Okay. So, uh I had to stand. on funny, stand on jokes or whatever. And uh you know I when I was on Tinder. back in the day it would be like nothing.

no one under six feet no guy under six. feet. So it's I would always say I'm. growing as a person you know [laughter]. but uh I think it's you know women like. tall guy men like big chest or small. waist or fat ass. So you know it just. men and women have their preferences. >> So did that limit you in the dating pool. because you thought okay maybe I mean I. like her. I think she's attractive but. she's like 510 and I mean we kind of. like looking eye to eye. I don't know if. she going to really be feeling me like. that. >> Yeah, some girls are cool enough that. they let it slide, but I'd say 90% of.

women have to have a tall guy. >> Would you be okay? Let would you be. okay? I don't know if your wife your. wife taller than you or your. >> No, I'm 5'10. She's 5'4. >> Okay. Could you have Could you have. married someone? Let's say you're 5'10", she's 6 foot. >> I could do it, but it I mean the heels. would be tough. >> Yeah, because with heels you going to be. about you going to be 6'4. >> Yeah. Yeah. [laughter] At least 6'3. >> Exactly. So, >> but you got to be in flats all the time. Mark. >> Yeah. At that point, I would go just. trans. [laughter].

>> Give me anus. [laughter]. >> Uh, you once got dumped because you weren't. women didn't she didn't feel you view. you as manly enough. What's manly. enough? >> Well, you know, I'm I'm a pretty uh I. just like to go with the flow. You know, these guys who want to drive or they. want to grill. Yeah. I'm not one of. those guys like, "You want a grill? Go. grill. I I'll hang back. I'll drink a. beer. Um, so I think women want that. guy. They want the take charge guy. And. I'm like, I don't want to take charge.

I'm lazy. You You go. Uh, whatever you. want to do, I'll do it. You know, women. like a guy, here's what we're going on. the date. >> Like, be decisive. Exactly. >> Okay. We're going I'm going to pick you. up or we the car is going to pick us up. at this time and we're going to go to. this restaurant and we, you know, I know. this is your favorite. I ex They like a. man to take charge. >> Yes. And I don't care. I don't want to. be on the date anyway. Really? So, I'm. like, "Ah, yeah. uh whatever you want to. do. This this is for you. It's not for. me. >> So, uh when women are like, "Well, well, you got to take charge." I'm like, "But. I don't even want to be here. I'm trying. just trying to get laid.

>> I don't want to go to dinner.". >> So, your profile So, what did you what. did you put on your profile? What was. Mark's profile? Uh someone under six. foot tall. >> I said, "Sorry, I'm not six feet. Uh but. I'll I'll uh I'll make it up to you. I'll I'll I'll go down on you." I I said. something like that. I kept it funny and. light, right? >> But I think a lot of girls are like, "Oh, at least he he's aware. He's he's. being silly, right? >> And uh my my Tinder profile was me with. Conan, me with Fallon, me with Col Bear, and me with uh uh Cordon cuz I had done.

all these late nights, right? So I was. like, this is my tits, [laughter] you. know? I'm just going right to the point. >> Uh so quality. So you know, women say. they want a man to take charge. And so. when you take charge, then all of a. sudden, well, they don't want to go. there. They don't want to do this. But. you said you wanted me to take charge, and this is what I took charge. and this. is what I came up with. So now you're. not happy that we're here and [laughter]. it's a it's a problem. >> Well, welcome to women. They're a tough. nut to crack, [laughter] you know. Uh.

yeah, it's uh the dating world. I mean, I had a good time, right? >> But it was a lot of work. I mean, these. guys on the apps, they they spend all. day and all night flipping through that. [ __ ] And I think we live in a world we. have too many options. Yes. You know, like we used to meet the girl next door. and now you're like, she's not Look at. porn. I got my pants around my ankles. I'm like, she's not perfect. what's up. with this house? Where's the. wheelchairs? You know, I'm just trying. to find this perfect scenario and then I. end up never finishing, you know, and I. think uh we have that that's why the. dating scene is all up. >> I definitely think there's too much. access because like you said, it used to.

be if you didn't see this girl at your. college, at your high school, or at the. mall, you couldn't you didn't know what. somebody was doing in California or what. somebody was doing in Miami unless you. was in California or Miami. Now, you can. be sitting on your couch in Georgia and. you can find out what somebody's doing. in Kansas, right, >> or Hawaii or overseas. Yes. >> So, I do think it's it's too much. accent. >> It's too And you start going, "Maybe. there's something better. Maybe there's. something better." And nobody wants to. settle and now no one's. [snorts]. >> When did you know that.

your wife was the one? >> Well, uh, you know what? She was so. cool. She was so funny. You know, sometimes you're hanging out with the. guys and you're like, "This is nice and. easy." Yeah. And then you hang out with. a girl and you're like, you have to tone. it down a little. You can't be as. irreverent. You can't be as dirty. You. can't With her I can do I can be. >> You can be you. You could be Mark. >> I could be completely myself. And uh you. feel that. You're like, "Man, it's so. much so easy hanging out with her. We. have a good time. We laugh the whole. time. >> Feel like I'm hanging out with one of. the homies.". >> Yeah. With with with great body and and. a [laughter] pretty face and and she's.

really funny. She makes me laugh. And. she uh she's a good critical thinker. Like I feel like uh you know, we have a. lot of narratives now. Hey, you got to. believe this. You got to think that. You. got to vote this way or think that way. She's like, "I don't know about that. That's [ __ ] What? This feels off.". And uh I like that in a woman. she she. can uh see through the [ __ ]. >> right? Did you realize that you weren't. going to be a serial data? That you was. you was a one woman you was a one. woman's man and I need to find somebody. in order for me to get to where I need. to be. I can't be out here looking for.

somebody in in Miami or on the road to. this or that. I need to find a wife. >> Yeah. Yeah. I I did. I saw Bill Burr and. he had a baby which no one saw coming. He was like a real single guy, you know, and he has jokes in his old Letterman, I'll never get married. What's the point. of marriage? It's so stupid. And he said. he had a kid and he goes, "I gotta tell. you, I wish I did this 10 years. earlier." And that like hit me. And I. was kind of I was like 38, 39. I was. like, "I'm gonna be 40 soon." And he. started thinking about it. And you're. like, "Kids are a lot of work and a lot. of money, but I should do it." And uh.

clock's ticking and I'm not getting any. younger. And I can still live my life. with a kid, right? >> And so now we have a kid and I went and. he I'm obsessed with it and I want to. have another one. >> You want more? Oh, you want more? >> I'd like to have two. >> So how do you come from a big family? No, just me and a brother. >> You and a brother. So, you're going to. do at least two, maybe three. >> Maybe two. Two's good. You got three, right? >> I got three. >> Yeah. How do you like it? >> Uh, my kids are grown. My kids in their. 30s. >> Wow. Really? >> Yeah. >> Oh, wow. >> Yeah. I got started early.

>> Well, so how old were you with for the. first one? >> 24. >> Whoa. That was scary. I bet. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> Cuz my 20s, I was still an idiot. I was. climbing up the walls, drinking, and. [laughter] partying. Good for you. >> Can you be honest? Can you be honest. with your wife? Cuz you if she ask you, "Well, honey, how did this look?" Can. you say, "Baby, that don't look good on. you.". >> I can. Yeah, that that's. >> cuz you know that that like. sometimes you can't be honest. >> Of course. And I don't understand those. women. Do I look fat in this? I'm like, of course you do. That's why you're. asking. [laughter]. And if you can't take the truth, don't.

ask me. >> Right. >> I never understood that about women. >> So, where where'd you take your wife on. the first date? >> Uh, well, we met at a I had shows that. night, so I was like, I can't meet till. 11:00. She was like, "All right, that's. cool." But she knew I was a comedian, so. she got it. >> And all her friends were like, "Don't go. out with this guy. That's a that's a he. doesn't like you. He's just trying to. get laid. No guy wants to meet at 11. unless he's trying to hook up." And I. was. But uh [laughter]. >> but I met her at 11 and and she was cool. enough to meet me and we had a great. time. We made out and I don't know if.

I'm supposed to say this, but I walked. her back to her apartment in the East. Village of Manhattan and she said, "I. would invite you up, but I just got my. IUD put in and it's a little still a. little raw." So I was like, "No. problem." And then we met again. >> I'll see you tomorrow. >> Yeah. [laughter]. >> But I remember thinking I IUD, hey, this. girl just down to clown. >> So first date, are you old school? Like I got all of. this. Or are you 50/50? >> I'm old school. I I I pay for.

everything. I pay for the whole hooker. No. Um Yeah. I I definitely uh. >> cuz you know that's a big thing now. That's a big thing. That's a big thing. now. Well, women are full of [ __ ] with. that equality stuff, are they? Well, they want they want equality, but they. also want the perks. Yes. You know, and. uh by the way, ladies want equality. How. about start complimenting us? That I. feel like that's not 50/50. A woman. walks in with a new haircut, you don't. notice it, you're in trouble, right? >> I've never gotten a compliment from a. woman in my life. Well, where's that. equality? Just saying.

>> Red flags. >> What's a what's a red flag? Cuz clearly. clearly your wife didn't display any red. flags. Well, uh I think for I think when they did she. see us as ATM? That's a big red flag. Um. let's see. >> Did your wife have your work wife was. working when you met her? >> Yeah, still working. >> Oh, she's still working. >> I keep trying to get her to quit, but. she won't quit. She's a drug dealer. But. >> [laughter]. >> uh No, I keep trying to get her to quit, but she she likes having a job. She.

likes having her money, so I'm not. complaining. >> You like that? >> Yeah. Yeah, it's nice. I mean, it's a. little hard with the kid because we both. work, right? But I like that she wants. to work. She's ambitious. She's got a. she's got a a purse she wants to buy. She doesn't bug me about it. She just. has her own money. >> Yeah. But how But how does that work? Because like you said, you're on the. road. You're a tour comedian. So you're. gone you're probably gone what? 200. nights, 200 days a year, >> man. More than that. >> 250. >> Yeah. >> So 250 out of 365. >> Yeah. >> Does she ever does do the the the wife.

and the baby ever come on the road with. you? >> Every now and then. Yeah. Um the baby's. so little that it's harder, but. >> uh I took her on the road a few times. and it's not what she thought, you know? I'm like, "I'm going to Miami for a. gig." She's like, "Miami? I want to go. to Miami." And I'm like, "All right, come on by." And then we do I have a. show at 7, then a show at 9:00. And. she's like, "Oh, I want to go out to. dinner. I want to see the show." And I'm. like, "But I'm working.". >> So I think she heard Miami, but she. didn't realize this work. >> No. My Miami is really like for you. I'm. going to do a job. I'm going to do a.

set. So the dinner is not happening. >> Exactly. >> And so by the time I get off for the the. second show, it's going to be midnight. and you're probably not going to want to. go eat. >> Exactly. You know, women like a comic. until it's comedy time. You know, it's. like a doctor. Okay, I'm dating a. doctor. Then get the beeper. Beep beep. I got to go. >> You say there's a double standard from. when a man sleeps with a lot of women. versus when a woman sleeps with a lot of. men. >> Yeah. Did I say that? >> Yeah. >> Oh [ __ ] Well, um I do think women get.

get over with the whole [ __ ] thing. Yeah. You know, and uh well, men are. such such weirdos because we're like, >> "Oh, I want a I want a girl who's classy. and not low body count, right?". >> But then then they're like, "Ah, this. girl won't put out." So, we we want it. both ways, too, you know. So, uh I do. think we got to let women around, right? >> If they want to around. I think some. women are forcing it, too. Some women. are like, "I'm just like a guy." Hey. And then they you don't call them back. and they get mad.

>> But question is is that some guys like, well, I want to know how many guys she. slept with. >> She's probably not going to be honest. with you on that count. And then if it's. somebody famous, another famous. comedian, another athlete or something. like that. >> That would be tough. >> If if your wife if your wife had dated. another comedian, you that would be. tough for you. >> Well, yeah. Cuz I know so many comedian. I know most of the community. So, uh, I. would just be picturing them. Bang. [laughter]. Athlete. >> You can't do Bang. You can't do. >> Well, athlete though, you're an athlete.

I that if if I knew another athlete, my. wife before me, oh my god. Cuz a. comedian, you know, I'm not going to do. much damage. [laughter] You know, Gilbert Godfrieded is not going to get. her off. But, uh, Michael Vic or or. Bledsoe or, uh, Kevin Durant, you know, now we got a problem. >> So, you didn't you didn't ask. you like, "Hey, so how did you so how did you get. to the point to say, you know what, I. think this is the one. How long did you. date before you popped the question?". >> Ooh, good question. I think Well, she.

was pushing for it. >> Oh, was she? >> Yeah. Oh, yeah. She knew. She knew. quick. Women have good intuition. >> Um, but I was I was resisting. I always. say men push for sex, women push for. commitment, you know, and uh marriage is. their anal, you know, like I finally got. it. Yeah. Uh, and you get new sheets. But um yeah, so uh sheesh, she pushed it. pretty hard, but I think we got married. seven years in. >> Seven seven? >> Yeah, >> THAT AIN'T HARD. I THOUGHT YOU GOING TO.

SAY SEVEN MONTHS. >> NO, NO, I resisted. >> I was scared. I'm scared of commitment. It's I'm I'm an avoidant person. I run. from things. >> Wow. You say women are superheroes. They. have they give babies. They have a cycle. once a month. They have so I mean they. have so much going on. Um and I see. people from time to time they put that. machine on a guy and it was like. contraction when a woman have. contracted. Yeah. And them jokes AH. [screaming]. LIKE [laughter].

>> so what what makes you think obviously I. mean. >> to push a watermelon out that size. >> It's always about watermelon with you. guys. [laughter] But no uh well that the. child birth women have a higher. threshold for pain. >> Absolutely. >> Uh women uh they live longer than men. Uh they they can do that crazy [ __ ]. where a baby's under a car, they can. lift the car, right? So I think women. are are. >> I mean we have we have more stress. though. >> Sure. I'd agree with that. [laughter]. But they could multitask. Yes. >> They they have a lot of abilities that I. feel like they I feel like women should.

be more proud of those things. You know, women are always I want to be this, I. want to be that. And it's like that's. like guy [ __ ] Why aren't you proud of. your [ __ ] right? You keep trying to not. be a woman, >> you know? And now I'm going to get in. trouble cuz. >> Yeah, you are. >> All right. But I'm not like women can do. whatever they want, but I feel like. women aren't proud of. >> the things that they do and they do. really well. >> They're natural gifts. You know, they. keep trying to have these other gifts. And I'm like, but you have amazing gifts. that you don't even acknowledge. >> You do you feel that they feel that what.

I'm really good at goes unnoticed. But. if I can do some things that a man a man. does, >> maybe. >> now you take me more serious when we. take you serious because we understand. what you're doing. >> Yes. to for to keep the house and to. keep the kids and to go pick the kids up. when we're on the road and to do all of. that. >> Yeah. >> Yeah. After doing it for a week, I don't. really want to do that. >> I know. Exactly. [laughter]. And I would say a woman doesn't want to. go on the grid iron. No. >> You know, so there are. >> I know you're not allowed to be. traditional, but there are certain.

things that are just they just are. >> You said something very interesting. earlier. You said women uh the marriage. is is is the end result for them. You. know, women want that commitment. >> Mhm. >> And tradition. You hear a lot of women. says, "Well, I want a traditional," but. they don't want to do traditional. things. >> Sure. Sure. >> Because the traditional, the woman used. to keep the house. And even if she had a. job outside of the house, she still came. home and cooked. She still came home and. cleaned. She still came home and did all. the things. That's what traditional. meant. >> But now there's like, "Well, I want. traditional. I want a man to propose to.

me and and take care of everything. But. >> I want to be this new age, this. feminine. I want to be this new age. woman. >> Yes. Yes. Exactly. Exactly. It's like I. said before, they they want it both. ways, which is not just women. Men do, too. It's just human nature. But, you. know, women want this new age [ __ ] but. then when a guy is doing all this uh. feminine [ __ ] they're not into them, right? >> So, biology tends to win at the end of. the day. >> Yeah. Propecia. You was taking Propecia. to grow your hair, but. >> Yeah. Still still taking it.

>> There are some side effects that comes. along with it, though. >> I had that. You talking about a boner. killer? [laughter] I had the no boner. and I you know what my I started taking. Propecia. My friend goes watch out your. up and I was like oh no and right after. he said that I couldn't get hard. >> really got in my head. >> It was all mental and then eventually I. realized wait a minute I can get hard. whenever I want but that guy got in my. head it's all in my head and then I got. better but it took like a good six. months. >> So let's just say for the sake of. argument you had to like you could have. hair but that wasn't going to happen.

down there. No, >> would you be you'll be bald? >> I'd go bald. Yeah. I I [laughter] I. mean I'd look like Yeah, I'd go I'd look. like Tyrese. I'd be bald in a second. But uh now kids have boner pills. Like I. know like 20-year-olds taking boner. pills because they're like I don't want. to have the the risk just to be sure. And I'm like man you got it made. I had. to like if I was in front of a naked. woman without a boner, I had to tap. dance, tell a story. I mean it made a. man out of you. It was like built. character [laughter] and they could just. p you know old people go these kids are.

soft. I'm like no no no they're hard. Yeah. Rockh hard. They got Blu and all. this [ __ ]. >> Yeah. Rose Sparks. Yeah. >> Yeah. >> Mhm. >> So they Viagra. >> Yes. And we we had Viagra when I was. younger, but it was like a Bob Dole. thing. Like old people took Viagra. >> But I don't know if it's necessarily for. for to do that. I think it's for the the. the enhancement. Like you you want to be. you want to be like a porn star. >> Got it. Got it. >> Yeah. You want to be able to keep going. and going and going and going.

>> I thought it was just in case it didn't. work. >> Nah. No. I think that's what you know. you want to be like if you're a okay I'm. a good quarterback I want to be Tom. Brady today [laughter]. that's what I'm going I want I want to. be I want to be LeBron James today. >> LeBron's better Tom Brady his wife left. him [laughter]. >> a come on man. >> started the Taibo guy or whatever. >> it I mean Tom's a great guy though have. you ever met Tom. >> I would love to I'm a fan. >> he's he's he's he's great he's better. than advertised I promise you. >> no I like him I'm not I'm not I'm just I. love the roast [laughter] that was.

awesome I'm hitting I'm taking another. hit. Oh, that one's open. Yeah. >> Yeah. Hit me. I like this little uh. >> Yeah. Yeah. >> What do you call that? A chalice or a. goblet snifter? >> You uh. >> Woo. I have my own whiskey, you know. >> Do you? >> Yeah. It's called Bodega Cat and me and. my friend Sam sell it. It's It's. cooking. It's a rye. >> You uh Get us a bottle. >> I'll send you a bottle. >> I appreciate that. Would you do a hair. transplant? >> I would. Yeah. I've All my friends have. Not all my friends, but about 10 guys I. know have done it. And you too?

>> No. They they do it in the city now. >> It's expensive though. A lot of people. go to Turkey because it's a lot. It's. probably half the price, >> right? Right. Yeah. >> And they transfer a lot more follicles. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. >> Oh, what about you? >> No, bro. >> You're hanging on? >> No. Yeah. When it leave it, it's it's. gone. >> You're not going to turkey it up? >> No. >> Damn. >> Because the thing is like when you get a. hair transplant, you really can't work. out for like six to eight weeks. I'd. lose my mind if I couldn't work out. >> Oh, wow. I didn't know. >> You can't You can't get it wet. You got. to let it grow in.

>> Oh, right. >> Yeah. You can't sweat it out. You can't. wash. You can't do anything. >> Damn. >> Yeah, >> that's a long time. >> It is. >> And I'm a performer. I got to be on. stage. So, what am I going to do? I got. a doll hair coming out of my head. [laughter]. >> That's terrifying. But my friend, you. know, comedians that, you know, have. done it and they they hide it. Well, >> yeah. >> You're known as an observational comedy. Comedy. >> I'll take it. >> So, basically what you do, you see. things that's happening. It's like, you. know what? Cuz a comedy's job is to take. real life events and make them funny. your own or what you see in your.

surroundings. >> How did you how did you determine like. Okay, because you got uh uh physical. comics. Robin William was a physical. comic. Jim Carrey was a physical comic. Uh RSJ physical comic guys that just all. over the place. How did you like. >> this my lane? >> Uh I grew up watching Carlin Seinfeld um. Richard Prior to a degree and they were. all I love the little minutia stuff. I. love the everyday stuff that they would. see. And I I think I think that uh that. I influenced that influenced the hell.

out of me, right? >> So that the physical [ __ ] I can't do. I'm too insecure cuz if you do all that. [ __ ] and it doesn't get a laugh, I want. to kill myself. You're standing there. >> Yeah. >> Jim Carrey would throw himself on the. floor and you know, everybody loved it. But if I did that and it was silence, >> I wouldn't get up. [laughter]. >> So you got to go with how you what. you're comfortable with. I think. >> what's going on with Epstein? [laughter]. You tweeted, you said, "Man, it's too. bad 50 didn't hate Fstein. We would have. gotten at least we'd have got a list and. or a movie.". >> I know. I I love the P. Diddy movie.

That was killer. Uh, anyone else jerk. off to that? No. But [laughter]. well, he brought his son in. What a. family. Uh, those freakoffs. But yeah, Epstein, I think when a powerful rich. guy has an island in a jet and you hear. Diana Ross is there, uh, Bill Gates is. there, Bill Clinton is there, Michael. Jackson is there, you go, I want to be. part of that. I mean, Oprah emailed him. and said, can I go? And he said, no. thanks, [laughter] which I get, which is. not the hottest uh, you know, but um, I.

think I would have gone like I even if I. didn't know what it was, I would have. said, "Yeah, I I'll go to this island. with all these." Yeah, because I mean c. I mean you hear like a lot of. celebrities have gone a lot of maybe not. celebrities but powerful people. influential people you talk about you. look at the royals uh government. official politicians a lot of them are. losing their jobs. >> I know. >> over this there are a lot of if I'm not. mistaken I think Bill Gates just came. out and said you know he did have an. affair with a Russian model or something. >> so he he apologized I think I read that.

and you see uh what was it Prince Andrew. he got demoted and losing all this and. he got he got arrested And you see all. these officials coming. I mean, people. coming out. It's like I don't. >> I don't I didn't know nothing about no. Epstein until they started talking about. it. But when they first started talking. about it, do you think it was this bad? >> No, I didn't think it was this bad. I. always thought it was like overblown. Oh, we're making a a mountain out of a. molehill with all this [ __ ] Uh. >> but then you hear about uh the girl or. whatever. She was killed and you're.

like, "Oh man, this is this goes deep.". And then he was like had all these. passports and he was in with MSAD or. whatever. So, I think this goes way. down. I think this lady who got. kidnapped, Nancy. >> Guthrie. >> Guthrie. I think she's tied up in. Epstein. >> Really? >> Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Cuz the the daughter. was a she's a news anchor and she. interviewed a bunch of the victims and. then next thing you know, the mom gets. scooped up. >> So, I think I think uh this is all tied. up. >> Do you think what has we seen happen. with foreign officials losing, you know,

losing losing you losing their you know, their government roles or things of. that? Do you think we'll see this happen. in America? >> I kind of hope so because we we're we're. looking bad. They're they're snack. snapping them up in uh London and and I. think Norway, >> but why don't we do it? Bill Clinton's. fingering a chick right now probably. So. like what are we waiting for? >> I don't know why what more evidence we. need. Bill Gates is still Microsoft. >> Well, I mean I mean you worth $150. billion. Ain't really a whole lot they.

could do to you. >> Is that right? Is that what it is? You. think? >> Yeah. >> Wow. I mean, what are they going to do? >> Arrest. You can make an arrest. Uh, the. law is the law. >> Yeah. I I don't know. When's the last. time you heard a guy worth 150 getting. arrested? >> I guess. Harvey. [laughter]. Harvey Cosby. >> 150 billion. 150 million. Yeah. They'll. come get you. >> They'll get you up probably up to a. bill, >> right? Right. >> 150. >> Yeah. But I think the American public. will not be satisfied until. >> everything. Yes. Somebody going to have.

to give an account for that. And like. the government is so shady with it. They're like, "There's the Epstein's a. hoax." I mean, uh uh well, we we'll get. to it eventually. Oh, here's a bunch of. papers, three million documents. Half. the shit's redacted. So, I'm like, >> just give it give it to us or don't. What? They're dangling this carrot. >> You saw what happened at the BAFTA. >> The gentleman has Tourette's and uh. we're not we're not making light of. someone with a disability. But what did. you what did you what did you make of. that? >> Well, it made me realize I think my. uncle has Tourette's. [laughter] No. Um,

I think it's it's a tough one because. it's kind of this like this fork in the. road for like uh disability and. minorities feelings and we don't know. what to do. And uh I know my Twitter. tells me a lot of black people are. pissed, but then somebody showed me a. video of a black lady going nuts in a in. a grocery store who had Tourette's and. she was saying all kinds of crazy [ __ ]. So the guy did apologize. Um I think it. was a bad month for it to happen. >> Yeah. >> Uh so I don't know. I I I got to sit out.

and hear your thoughts. >> Well, I think the thing is is that they. could have edited it out. It was a It. was two hours. You had that opportunity. But when someone yelled Free Palestine, you edited that out. There are other. things you edited out. Would you leave. this in? >> Yeah. Why? >> Why would they leave it in you think for. ratings or for buzz? I. >> I don't know why they did it. And then. the the the host talking about if anyone. was offended. Well, if you start apology. with if you would you're not sincere. >> Yeah. Oh, interesting. So I I just it's. and and I agree with you. It's it's.

hard, but I think there's a fine line. that you have to walk with someone that. has a disability and giving them cart. brach protection. Like whatever they. say, whatever they do, they have a. disability. We just got to forgive that. and we just got to look past it. I I. think you're going down a slippery. slope. >> That's true. Because then you you start. having guys go, I I actually have a. little Tourette's, you know. You're. absolutely right. >> And in the movie, Michael Richards is. going to play that guy. [laughter]. That's a detail. >> Yeah, he had Yeah, they'll they they'll. What's they like they'll Google Michael.

Riches and then then they'll see. >> I'm glad you got it. [laughter]. >> Uh Turning Point USA's halftime. >> Oh, yeah. I thought it was like the. weird vegetarian option at a dinner. You. know, it just we got a halftime. And. look, this might get controversial. I. don't even love the I think the black. national anthem's weird. To me, the. black national anthem is the same as the. turning point. It's like it's just. another alternative. I think the. national anthem is supposed to be for. Americans because then do we do an Asian. one? Do we do a Tourette's one? Do we do.

a a Jewish one? >> But you do realize the the national. anthem in its sincerity, in its entirety. was really not for black America. >> That's true. But it wasn't. >> that there's a reason why they cut that. third line out. >> What was the third line? >> Yeah. Go back and look at that. Kind of. like that that Richard. >> Oh, really? >> Yeah. Yeah. And Francis Scott Cle was he. was not he was not very fond. He didn't. think highly of slaves. >> All right. Well, I'm glad I brought. [laughter] this up. >> So, and and I get it, but it's like,

okay, when is it's kind of like what uh. Frederick Douglas says. He says, what is. the fourth of what is the Fourth of July. to a black man? >> What are we celebrating, >> right? >> When we're not free. >> Yeah, it's a good point. [laughter] Well, yeah. All right. You make a good point. there. Uh, well, I'd say the turning. point thing was was weird cuz either we. got a halftime show or we don't. Also, Puerto Rico is part of America. I never. got the help of. >> I think they lo they lose sight of that. They just hear if they don't think it's. one of the continental if not, you know,

Alabama, South Carolina, California, uh, you know, Hawaii or Alaska, it's 50. >> It is a territory. >> Yeah. >> And so they are Americans now. They. don't get an opportunity to cast a vote. >> Yeah. >> But they are a territory. And I think. people lose sight of that. I don't know. what they did with history in in. >> Also, it's a it's, you know, it's a. money thing. He's the biggest uh Spotify. stream in the country or something like. that. So, >> yes. And you're trying to go go global. >> Yeah. So, it's not my cup and I don't I.

don't really get it. I don't find it. that catchy. I'm more of a Ricky Martin. guy, but uh you know, most of the. halftime shows are not for me. >> Right. But I think the thing is like how. many people you think when they go to. the opera knows what that guy is saying. [laughter] or what that lady is saying? >> Yeah. Exactly. >> And they go and they Belli sold out, >> right? And Kid Rock, I mean, Jesus, the. guy had a hit in 25 years. And he's. wearing jean shorts. He looks trans. >> But he didn't want anybody to boycott. when he did the halftime show. >> Ah, true, true. >> I think sometime people forget like,

hold on. Why did you say boycott when. you did it? >> Ah, >> I mean, every every I'm like you. Every. entertainment uh uh for the halftime. show is not my cup of tea, >> right? But I ain't boycotting. >> No, exactly. >> I mean, they had Coldplay. They've had. YouTube. >> Yes, exactly. >> Last I checked, YouTube is not on the. >> They're Irish. >> Okay, >> there you go. >> Uh, what was it? Stones. >> Stones. Yeah, they had a Maroon 5. I. hate Maroon 5. [laughter].

Put a shirt on. >> The Millennium movie. Did you see the. Millennium movie? [laughter]. >> No, no, no, I did not. >> You're not a movie guy? >> I love movies. I just didn't see that. one. I heard I heard uh bad things and I. don't really care. Give me a documentary. when they die. I don't like the. documentary when they're still alive. Unless it's P. Diddy. [laughter]. >> Come on, man. >> I just didn't uh I don't I don't know. like Trump documentary. At least he was. president. He's done some stuff. But. she's the first lady. I wouldn't want to.

watch a Michelle Obama documentary. either. No offense. >> The ice. What's going on in Minnesota? >> Oh jeez, you hit me with the heavy. stuff. Well, look, I don't know what. what side of the aisle anybody's on. A. lady got shot in the face. I mean, who's. ice hiring? Alec Baldwin. I mean, come. on. So, yeah, it's all bad. >> Another guy that that was that. >> pretty. >> Yes. That legally had a permit to carry. a firearm. They take the firearm off. him. The problem that I have is that. they like, well, who shows up to a a a.

protest, a peaceful protest with a. firearm, >> right? >> Kyle Rittenhouse did. >> Oh, yeah. >> With a machine gun. >> Yeah, I remember that. >> They did. And you said it was his. constitutional right, >> right? >> I thought to say we we're further. I. thought we like the second amendment. >> Yeah, I thought so too. But is that Are. you saying now you like Written House? >> No, I'm saying but you can't have it. both ways. You can't say who shows up to. a pre a peaceful protest with a firearm. and and castigate one while praising the. other. >> I agree. I agree. >> I think they forget that, you know, we.

have this thing called the internet and. it's up there forever. [laughter]. >> Well, yeah. The the cell phone cameras. have changed the game on everything. It. is. It started. You know when it. started? >> Kramer. >> Mm-m. >> Oh, >> Rodney King. >> They had they had cameras back. Cell. phone. >> That's how that video remember that. video got out. >> Oh, yeah. He But that was a big. camcorder. >> Yes. >> Yeah. But that was uh. >> that's that started everything. >> Is that right? 92. >> Mhm. >> Can't we all just get along? >> Yes. That started everything. And from. that point on, you just got to assume.

now if you leave your house. >> Yeah. Anytime you raise your voice, >> right? >> Exactly. >> Anytime you don't sign something, somebody say, "Hey, Mark, how you?". >> No, I'm I'm in a hurry. Mark won't sign. I just have I mean, I've seen all of his. shows. I. >> Yeah, that's that's that's a weapon now. >> It is. >> But I do think it's bad for kids. Like, they did this study where kids aren't. dancing anymore because they're scared. they're going to get recorded. >> Wow. >> So, like kids should be able to cut.

loose. >> Yeah. There are a lot of there are a lot. of things that. I think this generation and maybe the. generation but I mean 101 15 years ago. are missing out on because of the. camera. >> I completely agree. I completely agree. I think kids aren't drinking anymore but. they're doing other [ __ ] that's. unhealthy. [laughter]. >> You know drinking could actually make. you open up and meet people and. socialize and maybe get laid. But uh. >> well kids don't even know how to ask. somebody. They say like 70 80% of the. people kids have never asked someone on.

a date. >> Exactly. in person like you you you know. you DM somebody on well you know about. you got that's how you got on date you. got married I mean. >> yeah exactly but I think it's. bittersweet there's it's like fire. there's good and bad to it. >> but you have but you were in a situation. where you have asked women out on a date. in person. >> yes exactly well we're that I don't know. how old you are but we're of a. generation where we've lived in both. worlds. >> and I think that's we're lucky we lived. in both worlds. >> um Greenland M.

>> leave it as it is or. >> that's see this is above my pay grade. cuz other presidents have bought land. before that pissed people off so I try. to like take myself. >> like Louisiana. >> yeah [laughter] exactly Louisiana. purchase. >> Alaska. >> Hawaii yes Puerto Rico so uh. >> but they were for sale. >> oh they were. >> yes. >> oh okay I see I didn't know that I. thought we Isn't that what conquering is. you take [ __ ]. >> uh gland doesn't bother anybody. >> no I but it has minerals. Oh, Lord have mercy.

>> I don't know. I don't know what to do. I. know uh uh Denmark owns it. Yes. Yes. So, I saw a funny meme where Denmark is. like the fat chick like she's not going. anywhere and they're like, "Come on, let. me hook up with Greenland." But yeah. Um. Yeah. I don't know. I guess if it's not. for sale, it's not for sale. I don't. want to kill anybody over it. >> No. Uh you tweeted you're excited for. Taylor Swift to graduate from the. breakup album to a divorce album. You. about to get married to my to my boy to. Nef. >> Hey. >> Travis Tra, >> you going? >> I wish. I would love to go.

>> You think you think they're going to. televis it? >> Probably. >> Like like Princess Die, you know? Well, you I don't know. You know, Princess. Die. Yeah. >> I mean, did you did you I remember in. the wedding and it was watched like by. 700 million people. >> Sure. Sure. Yeah. Uh well, this is. bigger than that. Um. >> she's huge. >> Huge. And it's like. >> somebody's going to pay somebody will. pay pay probably $50 million$100 million. to televis. >> No doubt about it. So, they should. televise it just just to get the cash. [laughter]. But, I mean, that's got to be weird. It's not It's unnatural for a couple to.

be this uh public, I think. >> Yes. I mean, that I mean um. >> you know him. Is he all right? Is he? >> He's a great dude. >> He's dealing with this well. I mean, >> he is. He is. He is. I mean, you got to. realize now he's just not a I mean, he. doesn't have her level of faith. >> Sure. >> But he understands what it's like to. live in the public eye. >> Yeah. >> Because he's Travis Kelsey. He's one of. the better players. He's a a. historically great player. So, he has a. a a semblance of what it's like. But to. that level of fame, >> I mean, you got to talk about now you're.

talking about Beyonce and Michael. Jackson. That's that's that level of. fame. Ain't the whole Ronaldo Messi, >> right? Right. >> That's a that's a whole different. stratosphere. >> Well, what do you think about the uh cuz. we've seen his ex's. >> Yes. compared to old surfboard body. here. [laughter] I mean, this is uh not. to bismerch the lady, but that's quite a. quite a jump in in type. >> Yeah. Yeah. Um I don't I only know that. was his his last girl. I don't know. anybody that he dated before her. Um.

Kayla. Um. >> but I I think sometime people like, "Oh, he fumble. He fumble." I mean, if. somebody makes you happier, is that a fumble? >> No, not a fumble. But I wonder if he. misses that fat ass. [laughter]. >> I I think he I think he I think he doing. okay. >> All right. >> I think he's doing okay. >> I think she could get a BBL. >> No, that that's that's that doesn't fit. That doesn't fit. [laughter]. That doesn't fit with what she got going. on. All right. Your favorite southern. restaurant. You get Waffle House,

Cracker Barrel, White Castle. >> I'm a Waffle House man till I die. I. mean, you get dinner in a show. You get. the the eggs and and the waffle and then. you get a fist fight with the cook. [laughter] and a and a drunk guy. You ever eaten at Cracker Barrel? >> Oh yeah, I ate there like two weeks ago. in uh San Antonio. >> So I'm trying to figure out so if you. like those places because you know it's. not like they got a whole lot of you. know veggies on the the veggies on the. menu are smothered. >> Yes. >> Diced and scattered. >> Yeah. I mean I walked out of there with.

with type 2 diabetes. I mean my ass was. in a wheelchair. But boy, it's good. >> Yeah. >> And the waitresses are real. They they. look like the food. They're slow. [laughter] and gelatinous. I love it. I. love Cracker Barrel. >> Well, you Well, I mean, so being in New. Orleans, obviously the the cooking down. there, cuz. >> ain't a whole lot ain't a whole lot of. healthy eating and no vegetarian dishes. in in New Orleans. So, you got Jumbo, you got gumbo, you got etu fade, you got. you know it. >> Yes. You got the You got the uh the king.

cake and you got the big boys. Yeah, folks. Yes. >> Were you a Were you a fat kid? >> I was a fat kid. Yeah, I was And my. mom's a big foodie. She's a big cook. all these cookbooks and uh so she was. whipping up all kinds of stuff and she. was she's an Italian lady so she's like. eat. I definitely was a chubby kid. >> so you started losing weight once you. got out of New Orleans [laughter]. >> well I hit puberty and I I started. losing weight but yeah I uh started. working out and stuff but once I got to.

New York I was so poor I lost a lot of. weight [laughter]. >> did you ever get body shame was that a. was that a thing. >> oh yeah I had crooked teeth I was chubby. I had big fro hair. So, yeah, big big. body shame. >> You compared the hot dog to America. You. said it's a perfect symbol for America. It's enjoyable, but the more you look at. how it's made, the less you want to. know. >> Oh, ain't that the truth. Well, that's. it. Goes back to what I was saying. I. think we know. >> You eat gizzies, >> huh? >> You eat gizzies? >> What's gizzies? >> That's what they call a hot dog. >> I don't know. Gizzies. >> Yeah. You eat hot dogs? >> Sure.

>> Is that a local thing? >> No. >> Gizzies? >> Sounds Yeah. [laughter]. >> All right. So, >> I'm just saying you like, "Yeah, I eat. them.". >> All right. It's a drag queen. I know it. in Blizzy. All right. This is news to. me. >> No, but I I don't I don't I don't But. that's the thing. I mean, men supposedly. can't eat hot dog, especially out in. public. >> Oh, got it. Got it. >> Cuz if you eat one, they going they. going to put you on they going to put. you on the net. So, I just say I'm just. telling you just be careful. >> Right. Right. Okay. Okay. I don't eat I. just I just suck on them and then. [laughter] fight.

>> So, yeah. But why would you say the hot. dog is kind of like America? >> Well, because it it's once you learn. more about the history, you're like, "Oh, damn." But that's kind of how life. is the more you learn. Like you don't. want to know your wife's body count. No. Like I remember I voted for Obama and. then some guy I told him he's like, "You. know that guy drone strike like a. million Muslims?" And I was like, "I. didn't want to know that shit." You. don't always want to know. I didn't want. to know my wife's body count. I didn't. want to know his either. [laughter] Both. involve a lot of brown guys. >> You think about what's going on uh in. not only just America, but the world.

Can it be fixed? Can it be solved? >> I wonder that all the time because don't. you? And I hate to sound like an old. boomer guy, but like I feel like in the. 90s we were we were getting there to. like racial harmony. People were. chilling out. Well, sure, we had OJ, we. had Rodney King, but we were getting to. like you just lived. Now everything is. political. Everything is what side are. you on? Where are you at on this? Where. you going to have a take on everything? And then I watch the news and you just I. don't know if we're meant to have this. much negativity coming at us. Part of.

us, I think, likes the [ __ ] and we live. for it. We want the dirt. We want the. slot, you know, like uh. >> like I saw, you know, Bill Burr, he's he. made a joke on SNL and somebody called. him a racist and then somebody they. tweeted that Bill Burr is a racist and. then he this guy under tweeted it and. said, you know, his wife's black and. then the guy went, well, some people. marry black women because they're racist. cuz they want to do. And you're like, dude, [laughter]. >> why do you want him to be racist? If you. hate racism so much, you should be. going, oh [ __ ] good. I didn't know his.

wife was black. Thank god one less. racist on the planet. But instead, you're like, "Oh, >> well, let me double down." And I think. it's this weird thing where we want [ __ ]. to be bad almost. So, it gives people a. a personality cuz now they can be an. activist. They can fight against. something. Yes. >> Even though they're fighting fake things. that aren't real, paper tigers. >> I agree. Racism. You said, "I would. rather be on a plane with a Muslim than. a baby." [laughter]. >> That's a pretty good tweet. >> Them babies, man. They be. >> Oh, that's the worst. >> You should have to pay double. >> Yeah, they should do baby air. you know,

have a flight just for babies, you know, and look, I got a kid now and I've had. him on a flight and it's he's yelling. and screaming. I I get it. So, I've been. on both sides of it. >> Are you like, >> uh, it's the worst feeling. I'm. smothering with a pillow. I'm holding. him upside down, whatever I got to do. >> Or it's like somebody with a, you know, they have a a a dog on the plane and the. dog is barking when the cat's meow and. I'm like, "Oh my, I feel I feel I feel. so sorry for the person because, you. know, look, when you pay that kind of. money for fur, you want you know, you. want peace and quiet.".

>> Yes. Exactly. >> And then all of a sudden the dog is. barking to cats me out or the baby's. crying. They're like sh like like they. done emptied out everything in their. purse. >> Yes. Yes. >> He got all the treats from the the the. snack cart rack and he still. >> and you're getting the everybody's. giving you the half look like come on. You know what are you doing? [laughter]. >> The dog and the cat. I say throw that. out the window. But the baby I get. [laughter]. you don't need the cat with you. >> Do you feel like and you mentioned this. you're like you know what I think a lot. of what's going on is to keep us. fighting amongst each other. >> Yes. why they do a great job of robbing.

us blind. >> Totally. Totally. I think that's a big. part of it. And it's working like a. charm. >> It is. >> And uh we got to disconnect a little. And I think when people see each other. face to face, uh real [ __ ] kicks in. Humanity kicks in. a little more. And um no one's doing. that. We're doing less face to face. [laughter]. >> You said only people that doesn't. complain are little people. Why they don't complain? Why? I mean, you have a joke about everything. Yeah, I do. I I cover every [laughter] group.

Well, little people, every group is a. victim. Every group's a victim. But you. never hear little people going, "What. the what about us?". >> Yeah. We don't have access or we can't. do this or that. >> They've never said lower the toilets or. uh make the light switches lower. Like. little people have a up life. They have. a tough time getting a job, but they. never complain. You got to give it to. them for that. >> Uh Rush Hour, the movie content. disclaimers is that Do you put. disclaimers on your on your stuff? Like. some of this stuff might be offensive or. >> I don't know if Netflix might, but I.

don't do that. Uh but what about rush. hour? I think I think Chris Tucker is a. genius and I uh. >> Yeah, with content before opening. credits. >> Oh yeah, that's right. That's right. They got to do that now. They do it for. smoking now, >> do they? >> Yeah. So that shows you how much shit's. changed. >> So if somebody's smoking in the movie, they got to put. >> they got to put smoking in the You know, it's like adult language. >> Yeah, I understand. Like nudity. Yeah, I. Yeah, I understand that. But smoking. >> Yeah. Because it's harmful to kids or. whatever. Ain't that wild? >> Them kids probably doing a lot worse.

than smoking. I promise you. >> That's true. >> I mean, I I don't even really see kids. smoking like that with like when I was. growing up. >> Yeah. >> Kids used to be smoke. I mean, you had. you had recess, you had an area you. could go through or two and you could. smoke. But I don't I don't see kids. smoking like they did when I was a kid. and when I was coming up. >> No, no. Smoking and drinking are way. down. But the vaping is up. Vaping is. up. Mushrooms are up. A lot of that. [ __ ] a lot of lot of uh anxiety, Xanax, Oxycottton, all that [ __ ] as well. >> But you know, they used to I mean you. like you could smoke in a restaurant. Would you like smoking or non-smoking?

>> Yes. >> I mean, but you put me in a non-smoking, but I'm back to back with a guy that's. smoking is blowing a bunch. [laughter]. >> You know, they used to allow you to. smoke on the plane. >> I remember that. I remember that. Yeah. You can see those little ashtrays in the. handle or the armrest. Yeah. Now I'd say. we got OMIC. >> Are you doing you doing the O? We do a. We could do a book on Ozmpic. But now I. had the fat guy on the way here. I had. the fat guy like all in my seat and I'm. like this is this is like smoking. because now I don't mind if you smoke. but now if it's with my life now we got.

a problem. This is secondhand fat. You're all in my [ __ ] So maybe we. should have fat sections. I don't know. We got Zepic now. There's no excuse. >> You in first. How is the guy all in your. seat and you in first? >> H Well, I got I got I got bought a. ticket too late. >> Oh, you got back. [clears throat]. >> Yeah. >> Damn. >> That's all right. I can take it. >> You asked Blake Griffin about code. switching around black people and white. people. >> Do you believe it's common? >> Oh, yeah. I think so. I think we code. switch all the time, but the black white. is the most uh obvious. Like when I'm.

around my mom, I'm not talking the way I. am with you. Right. >> And that's a code switch. >> Yes. >> But uh I think white and black culture. is so strong. Each of them is so strong. that it's it's obvious, more obvious. >> Right. So when you run your black. friends, you like, "Hey." Yeah. Hey, dog. Check this out. lipology. >> I know. No, I don't do that. That's. crazy. The Where you at on the uh the. the wigger? I don't know if that's the. correct term. What do you What do you. What do black guys think about the. wigger? >> Uh. >> cuz I look at it like I like carrots and.

I hate carrot cake. I like black people. That's carrots, but I hate carrot cake. and that's that's. >> I don't like carrot cake either. Uh I. haven't I really haven't been around. because the. >> the friends white friends I have, they're white. Yeah. >> And that that's their place, right? >> And when I get around them, I'm me. I. don't get [laughter] I love what you. done with the place. When are we going. to the Hampton? Oh. Oh my goodness. It. is beautiful up there this time. [laughter] of year. That's not who I am. So they already know when you when you. see me, when you talk to me, this is who. I am.

>> I almost gave you a loan. That was. great. [laughter]. Well done. Uh yeah. No, I. >> But I just think people should be be who. you are. >> Who you are. >> I I when you become friends, you accept. that person for who they are. So I don't. need you to try to like, oh, I'm really. down with you, bro. I I speak your. language. I'm good. I let you know that. I'm really really down. Nah, bro. Be. you. >> Agreed. >> But it's it's I I guess they feel like I. got to show him that I'm down, that I'm. cool, that. >> No, bro. That's it's unnecessary. >> But I mean, look at Gavin Newsome. He's.

in hot water right now for Do you see. that whole thing? >> Oh, yeah. Something about the the SAT. >> Yeah. He's like, "Oh, I'm just like you. I can't read or whatever." And you're. like, "What are you doing?" Or or. Hillary Clinton with the hot sauce. It's. it's all as a honky. It's all very. embarrassing. >> The n-word. Do you think there is ever a. situ a situation where it's okay for. someone of the opposite race to use that. word? >> Uh, well, it's tough because. when I was a kid, my black friends would. with me and be like, "Come on, say it.". And they would, it was a joke, but.

they'd always, you know, yell at you to. make you say it and like you have six of. them going, "Say it, say it." It. [laughter] was, it was very. uncomfortable. But, uh, I don't know. I. just I just don't do it. I don't. >> There's [snorts] so much venom in that. word, you know. So, uh, >> obviously the songs are a little tricky. You know, in every rap song we all love, you want to go maybe you say it alone, but, uh, nah, I just I don't I don't. partake. >> I mean, I don't I don't listen to what. people say in a movie or what they do in. the movie and think I can recreate that. in the real world. >> So, just because some just because some.

I mean, you might call Hey, hey, baby. Call your wife, hey baby. Hey honey, how's sugar plums? But if another man. call your wife that, you gonna have you. gonna feel some type of way. >> That's a good point. You like hold on. now. you know him honey. >> right [laughter]. >> so why he calling you baby why he. calling you sugar. >> that's a good analogy I've never heard. that take. >> yeah so I hold on so I I just think the. thing is in every group have a way of. communicating within their subgroup. >> gay people have a way of communicating. with gay people trans have a way of. communicating with trans.

women to call each other the b- word I. wouldn't dare think about calling a. woman that. >> just because I hear someone else talking. amongst in their subgroup how they Oh, now well you call when he said it or she. said it, I should be able to say it, >> right? >> Gay people call each other gay and. derogatory terms all the time. That's. them and that's the way they. communicate. >> Yeah. >> Just because they communicate like that, I'm not in that subgroup. >> What makes me give me the right to feel. I can because they can? >> But would you do it behind their back? >> No.

>> Uhhuh. >> No. >> I don't know. I got some texts, right? [laughter]. >> Yeah. I I agree with the nword. My whole. thing is how about a little credit for. coming up with it. Who? [laughter]. >> All right. No, no, I'm just [ __ ]. around. >> Dave Chappelle. >> Yeah, love him. >> I don't know. There have been Look, uh. Carlin, there have been guys that could. weave a story, but nobody in in in the. last 30 years can do what Dave Chappelle. does. >> Probably the best ortor in in my.

lifetime. And I I just hung out with him. in his [clears throat] club in Ohio and. we got pretty drunk together. and just. hear it's just me and him at his bar in. his club at 2 in the morning and just. the stories there are great. So when he. puts it on stage and polishes it. >> and he has that cadence and you hang on. every word with the cigarette and he's. sitting down and you're never bored. It's completely captivating. It's a. gift. >> Uh you know he has he has you know. Carlin and Gregory guys that could like.

>> and and and the issues and the way he. can weave it his SNL thing a couple. years ago. >> Yeah. Yeah. I remember. >> was one of the great was one of the. great monologues ever. >> Unbelievable. >> And his specials the way he and and he. he but here's the part. This this is. what makes him so great. >> because he has what they try to take. from him. He never valued it. >> Right. >> So he didn't care about Hollywood. Well, we're going to do this. I don't care. >> cuz guess what? They got this thing. called the internet. I can just go to. here say, you know what? I'm going to be. performing here. >> Yeah.

>> And 20,000 tickets gone just like that. >> Exactly. So, and the way he can weave a. story, man, his last Netflix, his last. three or four Netflix special is as good. as you've seen a standup weaving in and. out of traffic and not getting hit. >> Yeah, he's the best. Cuz we've all seen. specials where like this is good, but. >> a half an hour in I got it. Yeah. But. his I couldn't turn it off. No. >> And so, I do miss kind of the sillier. Chappelle. I like the silly stuff like. Kill Him Softly and For what it's worth, but. >> I mean, you can't deny the talent.

>> He's he's unbelievable. and uh. >> and and a nice guy and a good hang. >> Um he got some he got some. flack because they said, "Well, Charlie. Kirk was this gener, you know, white. generation." Martin Luther King. >> Martin Luther King. Yeah. [laughter]. >> I don't know about that, but okay. >> Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean that he had to. do that joke. That's that's right there. >> Yeah. It's in his wheelhouse. Uh. conspiracy theory. >> Are you a conspiracy theorist? >> Not really. Not really. I don't think.

too much about everything enough to to. have a theory on it. But. >> is Epstein a lie? Cuz people say he. might be on an island. He might be. somewhere in Israel. >> That's why I saw the bearded photo. So. maybe But again, I'm I'm too stupid to. make a That's why I don't gamble. I can't make a call on that. I go maybe. it is, maybe it isn't. What do I know? >> What about aliens? President Obama said. they are weak. >> Obama said. >> they're just not in Area 51, but. >> right. >> they But they are. >> What's Obama doing? Is he is he trying.

to trick us or or get us off on another. thing? But then Trump said it was like. he's like he shouldn't be saying that. So then that makes me think it's real. >> Exactly. >> So I don't know. It sounds like it's. pretty real. >> You ever got into a fight? >> Oh yeah. >> Younger or as a as a comedian? >> Well, I've got into a fight as a kid a. lot, but uh older I just got beat up. >> I got jumped three times in New York the. first year. >> For what? Well, twice it was my fault. I.

don't want to give a whole story, but I. was It was always like a mugging or. something, but uh one time I was so. drunk in Hell's Kitchen, I was like, "It's cold. I've been drinking all. night. Brooklyn's so far away. Let me. just take a little nap in this doorway.". And then I'll eventually go back to. Brooklyn. And I woke up to a bunch of. guys going through my pockets. And he. goes, "He's getting up." And he hit me. and [laughter] I went out again. And. they took everything. They took my joke. book, my keys, my pen, my wallet. How. they I mean what they going to do with. the keys. I DON'T KNOW. >> I know exactly. Well, they had my ID,

too. But uh yeah, they took everything. Getting back home was a I had to jump. the turn styles and run home and all. that. >> I know they didn't take that watch off. you cuz that castle y [laughter]. was 10 bucks. Still ticking. Had this. since the Reagan era. But uh yeah, then. I got jumped in uh Crown Heights. Uh I. saw five guys shooting dice on a like. out of a movie drinking 40s and I was. like, "Let me cross the street.". >> Why'd you go roll with them? [laughter]. attention. >> I know. I should have. They had the. cardboard box and everything. And I was. like, "Ah, I'm I'm going to avoid them.".

I get down the street and this older. guy, he had a white beard, old black. guy, and I had an iPod at the time. And. he goes, "Give me that radio." And I was. so drunk. I was like, "It's not a radio. It's an MP3 player." And he [laughter]. yanked it and I yanked it and he picked. me up and he started banging me against. the like a. >> The old man did that. YOU LET HIM DO. THAT? >> WELL, I WAS HITTING HIM AND kicking him, but he had me. My legs were dangling and. I was kind of in shock and those five. guys ran over and beat the hell out of. him. >> Oh, they helped you? >> They helped me. And my iPod hit the. ground. I grabbed it. I said, "Thank. you." I mean, they were kicking this guy.

in the face. And I asked a cop later and. he said, "Those guys are probably drug. dealers and they can't have a white kid. getting killed in the neighborhood." So, they had to step in and make a decision. >> Wow. >> Crazy. >> Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you don't live in. New York anymore, do you? >> I'm in still in Brooklyn, but I moved to. a nicer area. >> You might want to move out of there. [laughter] That was that was a different. time. That was 2007 8. >> Have you ever been booed? >> Oh yeah. Oh yeah. That's a horrible. feeling. Just uh I went in on a heckler.

too hard. >> Did you? >> And I got booed. He went at me and I. just I saw red and I snapped and I. started [ __ ] on the guy and one guy. in the back goes, "Hey, take it easy on. him." And I was like, "You too." And I. was having a bad set and the whole crowd. turned on me. That was tough. >> So hold on. You talking about take it. easy on him. He started he he paid to. see me and now he wants the mic. I have. the mic. >> Well, we have a thing called papered. rooms where you can't sell tickets. So. that club gives tickets away. >> So you're getting randos coming in who.

like I'm here for a show. You're lucky. I'm here, right? >> And so I got heckled quite a bit and I. went in on the guy. >> Following the comedian, is there anybody. like, Lord, I sure hope I don't have to. follow him. I want to go first. >> I really do. I want to go first. I don't. want to go I don't want to follow him. >> Oh, there's so many great comics like. that. Gary Owen I would want to follow. because he's so loose. He's in the crowd. and he can his material is good but he. can also do great crowd work. >> and the room is his. That's the guy you. don't want to follow when they make the. room theirs cuz then you have to come. out and re set the whole thing and.

that's a that's a hard thing to do. >> It's one thing to have good material but. it's one thing to command a room. >> Who was the first comedian to put you on. to give you an opportunity to say you. know what a I think I think I think you. good bro. Come on the road with me. >> Probably Amy Schumer. Amy Schuer gave me. a huge uh leg up. She was so giving uh. so loyal. She brought me on the road. I. watched her go from clubs to theaters to. arenas to movies and I was there the. whole ride. And uh yeah, so she got me.

into the comedy seller. She she hooked. me up. She put me in her TV show. So uh. that was a big she was a big help. >> Um you know, one of my favorite now is. Nikki. >> Oh, Nikki's great friend of mine. Hey, that roast. >> Oh, she had set of the night. >> People people that didn't know her, >> man. Who's that man? Who's the white. lady with the uh uh uh that went in on. tongue? >> That's what people [laughter] they they. didn't know her. I had no idea who she. was. >> Yeah. She. >> And then now I Hey, if she on, I'm find.

it. >> Yeah. She's great and everything. Golden. Globe, she did so well, they had her. back. >> Yeah. >> Two years in a row. And she killed it. the second time. So, no one prepares. like her. That's her secret weapon. She. has great jokes. Yes. But she runs them. over and over at the comedy store and. perfects them. Takes [ __ ] out, puts. stuff in, and that's why she's great. >> You uh Seinfeld, he says, "You you one. of you one of the great comics.". >> Oh, that was very. >> When you hear someone like Seinfeld and. you know what, you know, he was back in. the days with uh uh with Eddie and and.

and. >> Kenan and Robert Townsen and those guys. and he had the show, we know what. Seinfeld show, one of the most popular. shows in sitcom history. when you hear. him talk in such glowing terms about. you. >> I can't even describe how surreal that. was because I used to watch the show. with my parents on NBC. >> and then to struggle and be poor and. broke and struggling as a comedian, open. mics, all that [ __ ] And then to have. this guy notice you, it was insane. I.

was bombing at a at a show in Buffalo. I. got off stage, there's eight people in. the room. I'm bombing. I'm covered in. sweat. I get off stage, my phone's. blowing up. People were like, "Hey, Seinfeld's talking about you." I'm like, "What? What? What's this?" They sent me. the link. He was on a Mets broadcast. He. was at a Mets game. They invited him in. the box to talk on the on the TV thing. And uh they go, "What comics do you. like?" And he mentioned me. Crazy. So, I. went from bombing covered in sweat to. having like the greatest moment. I sent. it to my parents. [laughter]. >> What's some of the best advice he's.

given you? >> Oh, he gave me a lot of advice. He said. one, he's like, "You got to move around. more." Because I came up in the whole. >> stay in one spot. >> Stay in one spot. like Dane Cook was. kind of out and then I came in and. they're like, "Don't do that. You want. to if your if your writing is good, >> you'll be able to just stand there and. deliver the jokes." And I remember. thinking, "All right, I got to be that. guy." And he was like, "Fuck that. Move. Own the stage." You know, and then he. told me something. What else did he tell. me? Ah, [ __ ] He said, "Don't go to. Epstein's." No, no. >> Uh, he had a couple things, but yeah,

that was uh that was some big stuff. He. said, "Perform more.". >> Right. >> Never forgot it. Um, have you ever been. starruck? >> Oh, yeah. All the time. I'm always. >> You done met everybody now? >> No, I mean I to me like um like I met. Quenton Tarantino. That was crazy. I met. Seth Rogan that was crazy. Chris Rock. Chris Rock was my favorite in the 90s. and when I met him I was like this is. crazy. And then Seinfeld too, I was. scared. But that's the cool thing about. comedians. 10 minutes in you're like oh. it's just a normal guy, >> right? >> Seinfeld's a guy who likes cars, uh,

comedy and baseball. >> Not cars, Porsches. >> Porsches. Yeah. Exactly. >> Porsches. [laughter]. >> Uh, is there anyone that you haven't. worked with that you would like to work. with? >> Oh jeez. Uh, probably Scorsesei. I have. a real thing for directors. I went to. film school for a little bit and I love. I love Woody Allen, Scorsesei, Tarantino, Michael Mann, all those guys. Copala. So, I'd love to meet one of. them. Woody All I met Larry David. He. was a hero and I'd love to meet Woody. Allen. I know he's uh controversial, but.

still talented. >> Yeah. Um, what's your relationship like. with Miss Pat? She's amazing. >> I love Miss Pat. We have a a special. rapport. Um, she's done my podcast a few. times and we just. >> Yeah, we're like a yin and yang. Yeah. You know, and she's amazing. >> She's so funny. She's so raw and real. and uh we have a good time. >> Your first comedy special, you released. it released it on YouTube. >> because you know these streaming. platforms didn't didn't believe in you. Yes. And we see Ali Sadi does that.

>> Yes. He killed it on there. >> Um, I think Ryan Davis released one on. >> So, what made you say, "You know what? I got. this material. I think it'll be good.". Okay, I'm going to upload it to my. platform. >> It was all failure. I said, "Hey, Netflix." They said, "Kick rocks." I. said, "Hey, Comedy Central." They said, "Blow me." I said, "Hey, Hulu." They. said, "What's Hulu?" And so, I had to. put it on YouTube for just failure sake. There was nowhere else to go. Right. >> And it blew up. The pandemic hit and it. blew up. >> Yes. So, that changed my whole career. I.

got I got bookings off of it. I got a. new agent off of it. And it hit like 13. million views. And uh I was selling. tickets everywhere. >> Yeah. And that was a nice little check. from uh uh YouTube. >> Yeah. I mean, it's not what you think. YouTube's pretty low to be honest. It's. not Mr. Beast money. >> Well, I mean back then I mean it's. gotten because more people are getting. involved so it's droven it driven it. down some. But. >> but to to shoot one of those it would it. cost me about 15 grand. So I made that. back after a little while. But you make. it back on the road.

>> Yes. >> Especially as like a commercial for you. >> cuz that's what Yeah, you're right. You're right. So everybody like, "Man, you know what? I ain't realized he was. that funny, man. Hey, he going to be in. the area. Let's go check him out.". >> And now YouTube is is like another. avenue. It's like Netflix, HBO, YouTube. Right. >> So now it's kind of oversaturated. >> Yeah. Is there a situation where you. could So once once Netflix has it, you. can't release it on YouTube, right? >> You get a 2-year lease. Netflix has a. licensing deal where they own it for two. years and then you get it back. >> and then they can decide we want to buy.

it back for extra money, >> right? >> Or you can go you I'm keeping it and. then you can put on YouTube. >> and then you're like, "Yeah, okay. How. much how much you wanted to buy it?". >> Exactly. Now you can do a little. bidding, >> man. That's amazing. Um Netflix special. >> Yeah. >> So this is your second one, right? >> Second one. >> Second one. So how did the first one. come about? >> Well, the first one came off the back of. I did the the YouTube. It did well. So. Netflix said, "Ah, we're nervous. We. don't know you. We'll give you a half. hour." So I was like, "All right, I'll.

take it." So I had to do a half hour. That went well. Thank God. And then they. gave me an hour. >> Gave you an hour. >> So I had to really prove it. And that's. a lot of material you got to write. >> Yeah. >> You got to write a YouTube hour, then a. half hour, and then another hour, right? >> And now I have a new hour. >> So So all So all uh streaming platforms. like Chappelle, all of them are like 57. to to 60 minutes. >> Yes. Yeah. 52 to an hour usually, I. think. or 48 minutes is the contract. But yeah, that takes a long time to. write. Chappelle can do it because he's. he's a story guy. He's slow. I'm a joke.

joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke. joke joke joke joke joke joke joke joke. joke joke joke joke joke. >> So you just like firing them off. See. he's a guy that builds. >> Yes. >> Everything. Yeah. It's a it's a it's a a. start, a mid, and an end. You just like. bam bam bam bam. >> Like Rodney. >> Yeah. >> But you got to earn that build. I'm I'm. not there yet. So you're a gatling gun. Exactly. I'm an uzi and he's a hand. grenade. [laughter]. Oh man. So, what can people expect from. none to please?

>> None to I hit every group. I feel like, you know, everybody does trans jokes. I. do trans, Mexican, black, Muslim. Yes. Everybody. Equal opportunity. I'm. inclusive. [laughter] I I brought. everybody in. And uh it's all about. love. It's all about ball busting. It's. like my childhood. I'm I'm writing jokes. that I would want to hear or my friends. growing up would want to hear. and uh. just put all that HR [ __ ] behind you and. then just sit and enjoy it. Don't sit. and analyze. Is it problematic? Is it. No, it's just fun. >> When you got the first big check, what.

did you buy? >> I bought a classic car. >> What'd you get? >> I got drunk one night. I went on uh. what's that? Trailer.com. Is that the I. can't remember the name of it. Something. trailer. I bought a 1973 BMW O2. It's. this crazy looking little car with round. headlights. I'll send you a video. >> What? I'm thinking like, okay, you I'm. thinking classic car. I'm thinking. you're talking about something like a a. Cuda or a Chevel. >> No. Well, when I was a kid, I had a 1971. Cutless Oldsmobile Cutless convertible,

and that was a badass car, but it it. broke down. But, uh, this is a German. BMW 73. Runs like a Kenyon. I never had one. problem with it. >> You still got it? >> Yeah. It's in a garage in Brooklyn. But I mean, do you have do you actually. have a car in New York or do you need a. car? I mean, you probably take. >> I take the subway every day. Yeah. Yeah. I don't I don't I drink too much to. drive. [laughter] So, I have that thing. for joy riding and [ __ ]. >> So, what what did your wife your wife. have a car? >> No, she can't drive.

>> She can't drive, but she just choose not. to drive. >> Well, she's Muslim, so I got her in a. burka with no car. No, she uh she's not. a great driver, so it's probably a bad. idea. >> Does she have license? >> No. I know it's cliche, but uh she'll she'll. get it. She'll get one. >> I think it might be a little late now. She might just say, "You [laughter] know. what? I'm I'm cool not driving.". >> Yeah, I'll drive cuz she's got the kid. now. We need her safe. >> What do you think? What do you think. your best and worst purchases are? >> Oh jeez. Uh. >> cuz you don't strike me as a guy that's.

really extravagant. >> I am not. You saw the watch. I'm not a. big not materialistic at all. And I grew. up pretty pretty low means so I kind of. keep it that way, right? I'm scared of. like you you buy all this [ __ ] and it. ends up owning you and it just piles up, right? Like how many sneakers you got? >> I sold I sold uh a couple of years ago I. sold 300. >> what? >> 38. pair. >> Oh my. See, I buy one shoe. I'm going to. wear this till it wears out and then. I'll buy another one. >> Well, time to buy a new pair. [laughter]. They can't they can't see this on.

camera. >> I've had these two weeks. >> Two weeks. >> I know. I know. New York's gross. [laughter]. >> Well, I'm not going to wear these. No, but it's it's kind of hard to w get a. white shoe in New York. >> That's true. That was a mistake. Yeah, >> that was they were on sale. >> Let me What are you running the vape. shop with it? This looks like. Scooby-Doo's van, right? It's like the. mystery machine. [laughter]. >> Oh, Sean Worthy. Okay. >> Um, what did you do before you got into. comedy? >> I did everything. I was a waiter, bus. boy, janitor, furniture mover. I did.

construction. I did a lot of menial gigs. because I didn't want to think, right? because I did um some office work like. uh data entry and all that [ __ ] I. wanted to kill myself. [laughter]. >> So, I would rather be on my feet doing. something than uh just staring at a. computer answering phones, >> you know. I think that that was a wise. decision by you. I always tell people do. a lot of things when you're young. because they tell you what you don't. want to do. >> That's good. >> It it it there's nothing worse than. being in the situation you in your 354. years old and like damn I don't want to. do this. You probably should have found. that out in your 20s.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that that saved. you probably 10 15 years of doing some. bullseye. >> That and people chase stability. They. go, "Well, I got dental here and the. paycheck's pretty good." And you know. that that's a curse. >> Yeah. >> I'd say take some risk. Get out there. >> Do you ever get fired? >> Oh, yeah. I got fired from a gig. I was. a host at a AOL gig. It was a big. Halloween show. A guy saw me at a show. He goes, "I like your humor. You'd be. perfect to host this show." And I said, "Great. $5,000. Most money I ever made.".

I was hosting a Halloween costume. contest and he goes, "Be irreverent. Be. offensive." And I go, "Great. All. right." He's like, "We want it to be. edgy.". >> So, >> Catwoman walks on and she's like a hot. Catwoman tight outfit. She had a big. whip. Super sexy. Made some jokes about. Catwoman. And then an African queen. walked on and I said, "Hey, watch that. whip around the African. They shut the. whole thing down. [laughter] I got. fired. They moved my boxes outside." And. I said, "You said be offensive." They're. like, "Not that offensive." And I said, "I got Tourette's." So, uh, yeah.

>> Uh, how different are you raising your son. >> compared to the way you were raised? >> Ooh, boy. That's good. Well, my parents. are uh they're kind of they're military. >> Okay. >> So, they were a little they I don't want. to say they weren't around, but they. were a little uh you do you, we'll do. us, right? >> And I think I'm going to try to be a. little more hands-on, right? >> I could have used a little more. guidance. I think. >> you got a nanny. >> I do. Jamaican. [laughter] Oh yeah. And.

I worry she's with my kid more than me. His first words he said, "Yaman, [laughter]. >> what what do what do you Because. obviously you mentioned about the uh the. gentleman that you had that he taught. you so much." Yes. A lot of things that. probably. you're going to want to teach your son. what your father didn't teach you. >> But you being on the road so much. >> Oh, yeah. >> this lady might have. >> I know. I know he's already eaten roti. and oxtuck, [laughter] but I think uh.

I'm going to cool it with the row when. he's older cuz he's still he can't even. talk or walk yet. So, I'm going to once. he starts having a personality, I'm. going to try to be home more, >> right? >> But I got to make the money. >> True. >> You got to provide. >> So, how long how long do you plan on. doing this? I mean, you going I mean, you're going to be like, you know, obviously you can because you don't get. too old to talk. No, >> you don't have a phys a physical job. like a manual labor job that you're. going to age out of it and you don't. have a situation where you know at 65. you got to retire. So you can tell jokes. for an extended period of time. Is this.

something that you want to like you know. what as long as I'm able to do it the. crowd f the the the audience finds me. funny. >> This is something that I want to do. >> 100%. And comedy is it's not like. football where you you can you know Don. Rickles did it till he died. >> Yes. >> So I think but you got. >> Bob still had a sense of humor at Milton. Barl. >> Exactly. Exactly. So, uh, you always. want to be able to do it. And I think to. do comedy, you have to keep that knife. sharp, right? >> So, I will do it as much as I have to. just to stay sharp, but I will slow. down. Hopefully, I can do some movies. I.

wrote a movie with my friend. We were. shooting it this summer. >> Um, uh, I'm trying to sell a show to. Netflix. So, I have other irons on the. fire and my whiskey. >> What What do you want What do you want. the nanny to be able to teach your son? Kind of like what the gentleman taught. you. Well, the the Jamaican nanny is. pretty uh I don't want to say she's. strict, but she's she's uh. >> she's a lot more structured than you and. your wife. >> Yes. Yes. Exactly. And I think that's. sometimes I worry like, damn, that was a. little harsh, but I think that's good, too, because it'll it'll toughen them up.

a little, >> right? What do you work on there? How do. how does how do you try to make yourself. better every day? >> I I got a weird little routine. I think. I think a little discipline goes a long. way. I think uh um what do you call it? Like uh consistency, right? Like I do. push-ups every day. I do squats every. day. I do weights every day. And if I. don't do it, I feel horrible about. myself. So, I think it's good to have uh. like I have a friend who does a coal. plunge every morning. And I go, "What. does that do to you?" He goes, "Nothing. I just don't want to do it.

>> That's why I do it." Right? And I think. that's that's the key to life is like if. you can do a cold plunge first thing in. the morning that you don't want to do, >> the rest of the day is easy. So, uh, it's easy to put off everything, but if. you can challenge, if you can kind of. wrangle your own brain and your own. discipline, >> right, >> then you're good to go. >> Wow. >> Does that make sense? >> Yes, it does. >> Okay. >> So, is there any one particular area you. say, you know what, I want to be better. at this today than I was yesterday. And. I want to be to better tomorrow than I. was today.

>> Yeah. Well, you want to be a good dad. for sure. And you want to write you want. to write a better joke today than you. did yesterday, right? And that's not. easy because these jokes come out of. thin air. >> You better say, uh, be a better husband. And a better husband. >> Yeah. Cuz your wife your wife go see. this and you're like, you didn't mention. me. [laughter]. >> She knows. She knows. And you know, I. got I got her body down pretty good now. >> Do you do you ever open up? >> No. This is as far as I've opened up since. since jail. [laughter].

Dude, let me But when you're around your. friends and and I I don't know how many. friends that you have that aren't. comedians. >> Not many. >> So, is this what you guys do all the. time? >> Oh, man. We love bullshitting, talking, riffing. Yeah, this is this is what we. are so entertaining. It gets the juices. flowing. You think of jokes that way. We. laugh. We laugh and and we go hard. We. go dark, right? >> Cuz we're our our [ __ ] is numb. Like, we.

don't have any filter anymore, >> right? But we have filter at at the. workplace or or whatever. But at the. family reunion, but around each other, it's all uh no holds barred. >> Do your wife ever say, "Babe, I think. you need to tone it down.". >> Yeah, every now and then. And if she. says it, then she's right. So, >> cuz she knows you. >> Yes. Exactly. >> She knows you. And you're like, "Okay, babe. Okay. I think I think that's. enough.". >> Well, I do do I do around the house. I. do voice just for fun. Do no hate. Just. like hello, all that [ __ ] And it's just.

me and her. And every now and then she's. like, "This is getting weird.". >> So, uh, but we have a good time. >> Mark, thank you for coming on. Look, everybody go check out None Too Please. >> Hey, thank you, sir. >> Thank you, bro. I appreciate you, man. >> That was fun as hell. I'm getting a. gizzy. [laughter]. >> All my life been grinding all my life. Sacrifice, hustle, paid the [music]. price, want a slice, got to roll a dice. That's why all my life I've been. grinding all my life. All my life been.

[music] grinding all my life. Sacrifice. hustle paid the price. Want a [music]. slice. Got to roll a dice. That's why. all my life I' been grinding all my. life.